Barely Alive - TWD - Daryl Dixon
by masterpieceMCFLY
Summary: The horrors continue in Cecilia's life and now they just don't have to worry about the walkers but people too. Great challenges and tragedies will test her like never before, will she be able to keep fighting or will it be too much for her? Sequel of: Barely Surviving, I recommend to go read that part before this one.
1. Chapter 01 - Starting Over

"Every great warrior must learn to endure and overcome the adversities of life."

Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind

Cecilia's POV

Another week had passed and now the fence is fixed, we have the courtyard once again. With so many people helping, taking the bodies of the walkers outside wasn't that hard and keeping the ones outside away from the fence so it could get fixed wasn't a hard task either.

Two different runs were organized, one to bring seeds so we can plant them and grow our own food, Maggie had to go because she knows that kind of stuff, Glenn, Sean and a guy from Woodbury, named Joshua were going as well.

The other run was to collect food, anything that was edible and that we could consume now. Daryl, Sasha, Michonne and I were going on that one.

We didn't want to leave together so there would be more people at the prison but we needed to get stuff quickly and get to work on those crops so we had no choice but leave at the same time. Rick, Hershel and my mum were staying and I knew they could handle stuff here while all of us were gone.

"Do you always go on runs?" Amanda asked me as I prepared my stuff and put them inside a small backpack.

"I used to go on more at the start of this," I told her with a smile. "It's better than staying here."

"Don't you get scared?"

"Sometimes," I admitted. "And I've been close to dying a couple of times but doing this it's the only way to gain experience, it's not the same to just shoot at a target safely inside somewhere than being out there and shooting moving things that actually want to eat you."

When I was in Woodbury Chris, Amanda's older brother, told me he had never killed a single walker and he didn't even know how to shoot, obviously Amanda didn't either and she was a bit overwhelmed to see how bad the world really had gotten.

For the first week after we brought the people from Woodbury here, Amanda literally followed me everywhere, making me extremely irritated and I felt stalked but now, this week she had half followed Beth and half followed me, giving me at least some hours to myself or letting me spend them with Daryl, with her there, Daryl mostly avoids me, he can't stand her.

"How did you learn to shoot?" she asked me as I made my way out of the cell.

"I learnt before the world went to shit," I said, not wanting to tell her why I really learnt. "I lived alone, I had to be cautious. The neighbourhood wasn't that good."

"Oh."

I walked outside with Amanda following me close behind, Amanda was a really outgoing girl and always needed to have someone to talk to, she couldn't really be alone and I was completely different, I enjoyed some people's company but whenever I could have alone time I wouldn't miss the opportunity.

"You should go find Beth," I told her as I put my backpack on the back part of the pick-up, we were taking it while the other group was taking the Hyundai. "I'm going to leave soon."

"Right," she said smiling. "Good luck and I do hope you come back."

Amanda smiled at me one more time as she waved and headed inside the prison, looking for her next victim for the following, at least, six hours, I sighed in relief as I finally enjoyed some peace and quietness today.

"Somehow, I always do," I muttered as Amanda finally got inside.

We were going really far to look for new places where we can find food, we were going to run out of stuff if we just keep looking for it nearby, so that's why we were leaving so early, only about twenty minutes after breakfast.

As the other three joined me, I fought with Michonne over the passenger's seat like if we were a couple of little girls, I ended up going in the back with Sasha while Daryl was driving.

All of us were heavily armed, we weren't sure if we were going to be back by tonight and we needed to be ready for any kind of surprise.

"It feels good to be out," Sasha commented after about an hour of being on the road.

"That's why I always volunteer to go on runs," I told her.

As we again fell in a long silence, I stared out the window, looking some walkers outside but at least we hadn't run into a herd or anything like that.

Michonne had a map in her hands and was giving Daryl instructions, that was something I wasn't good at, I couldn't read maps, at least it was good Michonne won that seat because if I were there I would probably get us lost or Daryl would get mad at me and send me to the back anyway.

"So," Sasha muttered, breaking the silence again. "You two are together, right?"

She looked directly at Michonne's and Daryl's back not at me. Daryl and I hadn't bothered to tell anyone else about us besides our 'family' and we don't show any kind of affection when we are in public, sometimes we are not even close to each other so probably no one knows about us but the closest people to our group, including Sasha, Karen and Tyreese, had heard that Daryl was with someone, apparently didn't hear with who and they also knew Glenn and Maggie were engaged.

Oh, yeah, they got engaged. Glenn got a ring from a walker before the Governor attacked us and it was not until a couple of days ago that they told us all about it.

"What?" Michonne asked when she noticed Sasha was looking at her, glancing at the woman only for a few seconds before looking at the map again.

"Are you dating him?" Sasha asked, pointing at Daryl.

"Uh, no!" Michonne exclaimed like if dating Daryl would be the last thing she would do.

Daryl, who kept his eyes on the road, didn't say anything to Sasha, didn't even glance at her or said something about the mix up.

"I thought you were, I heard Hershel saying there was another couple in the group, mentioned Daryl's name," she said awkwardly. "I figured it was you. I discarded the blonde girl, Maggie, of course, Carol and uh, you," she said looking at me but then turned to look at Michonne. "And well, you two get along quite well."

I barely paid attention to the last thing she said, the word _couple_ kept repeating in my mind. Yeah, I was with Daryl but we never referred 'our' thing as dating and never called ourselves a couple even when we were.

It was just weird to think that, I don't know why, it was just weird. Never even called him my boyfriend even when he is, he is my boyfriend and I'm his girlfriend.

"I'm with Cecilia," Daryl's hoarse voice was echoed in the car, shutting up Sasha who kept talking out of pure nerves.

She turned to look at me and I awkwardly smiled at her. The young woman looked quite shocked and I probably should get used to that kind of reaction from people.

"Oh," she exclaimed, probably feeling more awkward than before, but smiling at me to try to hide it. "I would have never guessed, well, you two look good together."

After that Sasha decided it was better not to say anything else and screw up again. Sasha seemed nice but it had only been two weeks or so since I met her, I needed more time to decide if I liked her or not.

Finally, after about four hours of being on the road, Daryl stopped the car in front of a big supermarket. We needed to be extremely careful because there could be dozens of walkers inside, there were about ten in the parking lot.

Daryl opened his window a bit and shot six walkers before we got out of the car, the others were not on his range so Michonne got out and she killed the last four with his Katana, even killed two with a single swing.

We got out stuff from the back of the pick-up, including my backpack and we ran to the entrance of the place, the shutters were surprisingly locked with a padlock.

Daryl cut the padlock and opened the shutter, raising his crossbow quickly and stepping inside. We didn't hear any sounds as we walked in, no moans, not things falling, just nothing. Michonne, who was the last to enter the supermarket, closed the door so no walkers could get in.

We all knew what we had to look for, we grabbed each a trolley and went to look for supplies. I had to look for cereals, bars, bags of chips and that kind of stuff, Daryl had to look for everything canned, Michonne went to grab bottled water, other kind of food we could prepare, like noodles and rice, plus useful stuff like blankets and towels, while Sasha went looking for shampoos, soaps, tooth brush and anything related to hygiene, including women stuff and even condoms, lots of people secretly asked for those.

As I put bag after bag in the cart, I never stopped holding my gun and I also had my knife on my waistband, I also kept looking in every direction every five seconds or so to make sure no walkers were around.

In no time my cart was full with big bags of different kind of chips and junk food, I hated that the bags were half full with food and the other half was air, that was wasted space. I also couldn't help but grab a few bags of chocolates. We still had the chocolates Daryl and I found on our run but they were running out fast.

When my cart was completely full with no more space left I pushed it as I walked to the exit to leave it there and maybe help another person or grab more stuff.

The closest to the entrance was Daryl so I joined him. He grabbed everything he could as I looked around us. Daryl filled the whole cart until a few cans fell to the floor because there was no more room left, as I did earlier, we took the cart to the exist and we were about to go join the other two when we noticed we weren't alone.

There were at least fifty walkers outside, they hadn't spotted us but we couldn't go out now. Daryl pushed me away from the door and we hid behind the queue of unused carts so they wouldn't see us.

Michonne, who was done with her task, was going to the exit when she noticed we were hiding and both of us had our index fingers on our lips to tell her not to make a single sound. She nodded and went for Sasha to let her know.

"That glass is too thin," I whispered to Daryl.

I remembered when we were in Atlanta, when we found Rick and the walkers surrounded the doors and broke the glass with rocks and that glass was very thick, this one wouldn't last long.

"Just don't panic," he whispered. "They don't know we are in here."

My heart almost stopped when I heard one of them snarling, the walker was by the door. I closed my eyes, trying not to make a single sound so he wouldn't alert his buddies there was food in here.

Just a I heard the walker getting away from the door, I saw Michonne and Sasha almost running towards us, they looked scared and agitated, I even noticed blood on Michonne's katana, which she was holding.

"We have a problem," she exclaimed.

"What?" I asked her, not really wanting to know the answer.

"No time to explain!" As she said that I heard distant moans and those weren't coming from outside.

"Oh, shit!" I exclaimed as I stood up quickly and grabbed my knife in my right hand and my gun in the left.

"There are about twenty or thirty left," Michonne said quickly. "We killed about half of them."

Soon we saw the first walker and Daryl shot it with his crossbow as soon as it came into view, but more of them came walking to us.

Daryl kept shooting arrows as we ran away, we didn't want to fight in front of the glass doors, there were so many more outside and we wouldn't be able to fight them all, we had to try not to attract their attention.

We ended up in the aisle of toys and unfortunately walkers were coming from both ends. Daryl shot a few that were in front of him and Michonne approached the ones in front of her and beheaded them, when there were about only ten left, Sasha and I approached them, there were six on her side and four on mine. We killed them with our knives, Daryl shot the last two and then proceeded to grab all his arrows back.

I stood close to the end of the aisle, catching my breath. I was about to ask how they all got inside when I heard moaning too close to me and soon a hand was on my shoulder, gripping it.

I yelled, stepped back and pushed the walker away from me. I was too close to the shelf so when I step back so quickly, I hit it quite forcefully, making myself fall onto it and losing my balance, ending on the floor and some toys came down with me. The other three heard and before I could process it, Daryl had killed the walker, who was about to lunge at me, the dead walker fell on my legs.

Daryl quickly rushed to my side, kicked the walker off of me, grabbed my hand and pulled me up quite forcefully, wasting no time to check for scratches and bites as he asked me if I was alright.

But that wasn't the worse of all, some of the toys that fell started making sounds and wouldn't shut up. There was a horse toy that kept neighing and there was a small piano, playing a kids song, and a weird doll saying mummy and crying plus other toys, but those three were the loudest.

I stared at them in disbelief, knowing all that sound plus my yell was obviously going to attract some walkers, at least the ones closer to the supermarket.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I cried as I started hearing banging on the doors.

"Guys," Sasha said, looking down at the toys. "We could use these."

We all turned to look at her like if she were crazy, those toys were going to get us killed, but she just smiled at us, grabbing one of the toys on the ground.

"Just listen to me," she said. "We grab some of these and take them to the back and we leave some here too, the walkers will be attracted by the sound and we will be able to leave."

Before we could tell her what a great plan that was, she grabbed around four toys and ran further from the entrance, we immediately followed her example, grabbing four or five toys each. We stopped about four aisles down and threw the toys on the floor, making them sound loudly, some over and over again, we went back to the same aisle and threw some more toys to the floor, making more sound there as well.

Then we all ran away from there, we passed the entrance, but we didn't go far, we just hid behind a counter, only Daryl could see the entrance from his position.

I heard the glass shattering and the moans of the walkers got louder but not for long, they just went after the noise, but just in case I still had my knife ready in my hand.

"Come on!" Daryl said, standing up and running towards the door.

Michonne, Sasha and I grabbed a trolley and pushed them as we ran back to the car, which wasn't far, while Daryl closed the shutters to keep the walkers inside. The three of us threw everything in the back of the pick-up as fast as we could, Sasha's cart, which contained shampoos and that kind of stuff, was left inside but at least we got food.

"Hurry!" Daryl exclaimed as we finished throwing in all the cans, we then moved to the last cart, the one I filled.

I could hear distant moans and instead of looking up, I just kept throwing all the bags in the vehicle, it was not until the lone walker was close to us that Daryl killed it, so he could used his knife instead of an arrow.

We finished and the four of us ran inside the car, taking deep breaths, not believing we actually got out of there. Daryl soon started the engine and drove away from there.

Some minutes later he saw me through the rear mirror, I felt his stare and caught him looking at me. He took a deep breath before looking away from me.

"You okay?" he asked me.

"Yeah, I'm good," I muttered.

Honestly, I hadn't had time to search for any kind of scratch but I knew I had none, Daryl briefly looked for some and found nothing plus nothing was hurting or bleeding or anything like that. I knew he wanted to tell me I had been reckless and that I should have paid more attention but he said nothing, he just kept driving.

As we drove back to the prison, we made five more stops on small shops that were not far from the main road. That was the plan all along, go to the big place first and then to the small ones.

The first two places were completely free of walkers and we spent almost an hour in each one, grabbing everything from inside, except stupid things as souvenirs and stuff animals, but we got everything else, making the big back part of the pick-up almost full and luckily we got some of the stuff we had left behind in the supermarket plus some pills and medicine.

The third place was almost empty, we grabbed everything we could and left the place quickly. The fourth place had three walkers inside and we had a bit of a problem when we got out with the last of the things.

Sasha was being cornered by two, she grabbed one by its shoulder trying not to get bit while the other was getting closer, I shot the two walkers right in their heads as soon as I killed the one that was going after me.

The fifth place was a bit bigger than the other four and had more variety, we grabbed baskets and filled them with everything inside, it was half full but still we got a lot of stuff from there, including sunglasses, which sometimes were needed.

We got so many stuff we had to put some on the seats, Michonne had many stuff around her feet and on her lap, this was a very good run.

The prison was about two hours away now, we didn't have to make any more stops unless we saw a nice-looking place with useful things, but unfortunately it was already dark and we couldn't see anything plus it would be too dangerous right now, even Daryl drove slower to prevent any accident, like Lori had back at the farm, that made us take even longer. And luckily he did that because there was a car in the middle of the road, Daryl hadn't seen it because it was black and almost drove into it, if he had drove a bit faster he wouldn't have been able to stop fast enough and crash into it.

We got back to the prison at midnight, Oliver and some of the new people were on guard and opened the gates. My mother was also awake, she ran out of the prison and met us with a smile on her lips, especially when she saw all the things we managed to get.

"Leave those there," she told us. "We will all get those things inside tomorrow morning."

She didn't have to tell us twice. We were tired, sleepy and all we wanted was to rest, so we just grabbed our personal stuff and weapons and went inside.

Luckily, when we went to the smaller grocery shops, instead of just throwing the stuff in, we left them inside the baskets. It would be easier for the people to just grab a basket and bring the stuff inside, we got about eight of those.

Sasha went to block D, where everyone else was staying while all of us walked into block C. Daryl and I said good-bye to Michonne just before we went up the stairs, we usually go up two steps at a time but this time we were too tired we went up step by step.

When we reached my cell, without warming, Daryl flipped me around and wrapped his strong arms around me, resting his head on the top of mine, surprised, I hugged him back.

"What was that for?"I asked when he let go of me.

"I almost lost you today," he muttered as he leant in and pecked my lips.

"I'm fine," I told him. "There are no scratches or anything." Daryl still didn't look that relieved. "What? Do you want to see for yourself?"

I pulled my sleeve all the way up and showed him all my right arm and shoulder, where the walker grabbed me, even showed him around my neck and collarbone. We stood by the window so the moonlight could help him look better.

"See?" I mumbled. "There's nothing there."

He lowered his head and gently kissed a part close to my collarbones and then kissed my cheek before he pecked my forehead, I was surprised by his soft touches because he normally isn't like this. We barely share moments like this and I wasn't complaining we were now.

"I seriously thought I was going to lose you today," he muttered sadly.

"For that one walker?" I asked with a soft chuckle. "It's going to take more than that to bring me down."

"Mainly, but we were trapped in there and I seriously had no idea how we were going to get out."

"But we did and now we are back at the prison, I'm seriously okay, Daryl," I told him, raising my hand and resting it against his cheek. "I didn't know how we were going to get out but I knew we would find a way. You won't lose me that easily."  
I smiled at him before slowly closing the space between us and softly kissed his lips, when I broke the kiss I rested my forehead against his and grabbed his hands in mine, intertwining our fingers.

"I don't want you going on more runs," he said and I immediately opened my mouth to object but he spoke, stopping me from it. "But I know that I can't just lock you here so I suppose you'll be stuck with me on every run."

"Every run?" I asked with a chuckle. "Every single one?"

"I'm afraid so," he muttered.

"Hmm, I don't know," I said with a small smirk. "I would prefer to go with Michonne."

Daryl chuckle softly at my statement. He let go of my hands, put his on either side of my face, brought it closer to him and kissed the top of my head.

"Too bad," he said before dropping his hands to his sides and walking away from me.

"Why are you just walking away?" I exclaimed, a bit frustrated about that, not caring that I had raised my voice.

"I'm tired," he said with a shrug. "I want to sleep."

"Without a good-night kiss?" I asked as I went after him.

"I just kissed you several times," he said with a chuckle. "Can't have enough of me, Peletier?"

"Don't be so full of yourself, Dixon," I exclaimed with a wink as I walked closer to him.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and crashed my lips against his, he kissed back right away. This one was more than a single peck but still, it wasn't a French kiss or anything like that. I sensed he was about to pull away so I deepened the kiss, not wanting to let him go just yet.

I slowly gripped the end of his hair as he held me even tighter, pulling me even closer to his body. I slowly pulled away, keeping my eyes closed a bit longer.

"Good night, Daryl," I said as I looked up at him with a smile before I turned around, about to walk to my room.

"That wasn't a good night kiss, you know?"

"You almost lost me today, Daryl," I said in a teasing voice but I didn't turn around to face him. "I think I have a good enough excuse to kiss you like that."

"Cecilia," I nodded at him to let him know I was listening but he didn't say anything else, he spun me around and pecked my lips one last time. "Good night."

"Good night, Mr. Dixon," I told him with a grin on my face.

I slowly made my way to the cell and lied down on my bed, the whole night the smile on my lips never went away, not even when I actually almost died today.

Hello again everyone! I hope you liked the first chapter of the sequel (especially because there was some action and a bit more of Darcilia/Ceryl than in the last book) and that you will like the coming chapters!

I'd appreciate if you tell me what you think of the cover, even though I know it sucks. It's kind of plain I suppose. I will make another one soon, I liked it when I made it but now...

Anyway, I will be working in a trailer/video for the story, I hope I have enough inspiration to finish it this time because last time I couldn't :(

And please let me know your opinions! :) xx


	2. Chapter 02 - Best (Wo)Man

"The past can't hurt you anymore, not unless you let it."

Alan Moore, V for Vendetta

The next day I found out the other group came back hours before us and they didn't have much problem to get the stuff, at least not like us.

Michonne informed Rick on how the run went, told him pretty much everything, including how we escaped the supermarket. Rick was upset about it but he was really glad none of us perished back there.

As my mother said, almost everybody helped getting the supplies we got inside the prison, in the little room we use to keep the food and right now it was almost full and Hershel was going to show Rick and whoever else wanted to learn, how to plant the seeds the other group got and how to tend them.

And luckily Amanda didn't follow me around today, I woke up quite late and only went down to eat with Michonne and Daryl and then went back to my cell, I was extremely tired for what we did yesterday, my arms ached as crazy and I got a bruise on my back from when I hit the shelf when the walker attacked me but I was fine besides that.

"You were quite, uh, affectionate last night," Carl said with a smirk on his face. "Good night, Mr. Dixon!" he teased.

"Shut up!" I exclaimed, throwing a pillow at him, hitting him straight in the face but that didn't stop making me feel so embarrassed about the fact that Carl heard us and who knows who else heard. Carl grabbed the pillow and threw it back at me, hitting me in my back.

"I have a bruise there, damn it!" I exclaimed, glaring at Carl.

"What happened?"

"Got it while I was on that run, nothing important," I said, sitting up on my bed.

"Heard you got in a horrible situation yesterday, I'm glad you are okay," he told me, sitting in front of me on the bed. "Your mum was hysterical when Sasha added the part where a walker almost bit you, she asked my dad to never allow you to leave again."

"I can imagine," I said rolling my eyes.

"Are you still mad at her?"

"I don't even know," I admitted. "Are you still mad at your dad?"

"Not really," he said shrugging. "I still don't like having them here."  
"It's just... weird," I agreed.

I heard footsteps so I raised my head a bit and saw Glenn by the door of my cell, I smiled at him and told him to come in, he never comes to my cell so I wondered what he could want.

"Can I borrow Cici for a few minutes?" Glenn asked Carl with a polite smile.

"Sure," Carl said, standing up. "It's going to be dinner time soon, anyway."

Carl left my cell and Glenn sat on my bed, taking Carl's place. I noticed he looked happy for once, there was something in his eyes that hadn't been there in so long, probably since the farm or even before that.

"What's up?" I asked him curiously.

"I don't know how to start," Glenn admitted, looking down at his hands. "It's about Maggie and me."

"What about it?"

"I proposed to her, you know that. We really didn't want a wedding, seems kind of ridiculous during these times but Maggie want us all reunited and we decided we will do a small simulation of a real wedding," Glenn told me with a shy smile and then I heard him chuckled. "Daryl even volunteered to get some alcohol to celebrate."

"That doesn't really surprise me," I told him with a grin.

"Anyway, the thing is that since you are my best friend, always have since all of this started and we always had each other's backs during all those runs I kind of need you to have my back that day," he told me, once again looking down at his hands.

"What do you mean?"

"I need you to be next to me, to be my best man, I mean, woman in this case, I suppose," he said nervously. "So, would you do it?"

"Are you serious?" I asked him with a huge grin on my face. "I would love to, actually I feel honoured."

"Great!" Glenn exclaimed happily, finally looking up at my face and not looking away from me. "That's fantastic!"

Glenn and I hugged each other. Since I found them after the farm incident, Glenn and I hadn't been that close, many things had happened in these few weeks but it was nice to know he still considered me his best friend and that I was special to him.

"Maggie thought it would be a nice thing to do, you know? Make us forget how shit the world is at least for a couple of hours and enjoy the moment? Just fill our hearts with joy and gather up strength from it so we could keep on fighting."

"I think it's a great idea," I told him. "It will help us all for sure. These days had been all about death and grieve that maybe we all need this, so, when will it be?"

"Soon," Glenn told me with a smile. "We are not sure yet but soon."

"Sounds great."

"Beth will be like the maid of honour, you know? Beth was so excited when Maggie told her."

"Just like me?" I said with a grin.

"Just like you."

Then the topic was changed, Glenn and I talked about how our runs went, he told me one street was full of walkers and had to take another route but that everything went okay and that Joshua, the guy who went with them, was very skilled at throwing knives but he needed more practice with guns.

I also told him about ours, told him how the walker attacked me and the toys fell and started making noise and if it weren't for Sasha's idea we would have probably not made it. There were too many of them and we would be trapped.

"The bad part is that we can't go there again, there were so many things and now there are about fifty walkers inside. We can't just risk it."

"That's a shame," Glenn agreed. "But we'll find other places."

We continued talking until Beth called us so we could all eat dinner. I was quite surprised to see that Amanda wasn't here, but I was actually relieved. I liked the girl and all but she can be really annoying.

Another two weeks had passed and with each day we had been getting more and more accustomed to live with more people than just us, I had actually met some of them and found out they are nice people, even Carl had also socialized a bit.

During these weeks, Hershel had taught Rick how to plant the seeds and how to tend them, Beth and Maggie had also helped and if everything goes well, we'll start getting food from them very, very soon.

A council had also been made, now that we are so many we need to organize ourselves better. It was made up of Hershel, Daryl, Glenn, my mother, Sasha and surprisingly, Rick wasn't part of it. He had decided to step aside and focus on more important things, like Carl. In my case, they said I was too young to be part of it plus I didn't want to be part of it, as long as they let me go on runs I was fine.

"Hey," Michonne said, she had decided she wanted to look for the Governor, she still wasn't sure where she was going.

"Hey," I told her.

I had been outside practising with the crossbow. A few days ago Daryl had put the target even farther and drawn a smaller circle, it was challenging and this proved I wasn't as good as I thought I was but luckily everyday my aim was getting better and better.

"I realized I never told you that thing I promised," she said. "What happened to Andrea, and the run and all the stuff here just made it slipped my mind."

"It's okay," I said, setting the crossbow on the picnic table. "I thought you just weren't ready to tell me."

I sat on the table, criss cross and pat the place next to me, Michonne nodded and sat next to me, I heard her sigh as she started to play with her fingers, avoiding eye-contact.

"One of the walkers I kept," she said. "Was my boyfriend, the other one was his best friend. The three of us were very, very close."

Michonne told me experiences she had with them, including how she met Mike and how much they dated. I was a bit surprised and flattered she was opening up with me and finally telling me something about her life.

Andrea and I tried so many times to try to get her to tell us things, like her parents name but she always refused to share that kind of stuff with us and now that she was sharing something so important made me feel like finally she considered me a real friend, not just someone she lived with.

"Thank you for telling me," I said with an encouraging smile after about an hour of talking. "I appreciate it a lot."

"That's not all," she said quietly and for a few seconds I saw how her lip quivered. "I, uh, I had a son, Cici."  
"What?" I exclaimed in shock, gasping at this.

"He was only three when everything started, his name was Andre Anthony and he was everything to me," she said allowing one tear to fall down her eyes.

It broke my heart to know that she had lost her son and that he died being so young, she hadn't told me he died but it was obvious.

"I went for supplies and when I came back the camp had been invaded and those two assholes were so high they couldn't defend themselves – or Andre," she told me. "I waited for them to turn, I cut their jaws and amputated their arms, you know how helpful it was to have them around."

"I'm so sorry, Mich."

"They deserved everything that happened to them," she exclaimed in such a dark voice it scared me. "They really did deserve it."

"You were right," I said after a few minutes of silence, Michonne had broken down, finally allowing herself to let it go. "About the thing you said to me in Woodbury."

"What did I say?" she asked.

"You said you thought my last boyfriend was the reason I stopped believing in love... of any kind."

"Right, I remember."

"He did hurt me, just like you suspected. Except I didn't stop believing just in love because of him, I stopped believing in humanity and true happiness."

It was my turn to look at my hands as I started to play with them and the tips of my hair, I hadn't talked about my ex-boyfriend since we broke up and it wasn't easy to remember him and tell Michonne but if she told me about her son's death then I could do this, we made a deal back at Woodbury, if she told me, I would tell her this.

"I met him in school, he was a year older than me and very popular. His name was Peter. One day he approached me during lunch, sat in front of me and asked me if I was going to the basketball game that weekend, said he would like me there. We started dating not long after that," I told her with a small smile, that part was good. "He was the only person that knew to a certain extent how shitty my life was at home."

I never told him my dad hit me, he thought he just grabbed me tight and was a bit rough but he knew he hit my mum and that he was very controlling and treated us pretty much like slaves, not like if we were actually related to him.

"I graduated at the same time as him because I was a year ahead and he had the great idea of going away together, anywhere, but just away. We moved to Florida for two months and then settled in New York, it was amazing... at first."

"Did you love him?"

"As much as a seventeen-year old could love someone, of course I thought I was in love and that we were going to be together forever. We were young, everything was improving, life was just great, you know? But I guess it was just too good and soon it came to an end."

Quick flashbacks invaded my mind of how things went from perfect to shit and I started to tremble, Michonne noticed, she put an arm around my shoulders and rubbed my arm, telling me it was okay, that if I wanted I could skip that but I just shook my head at her, I needed to tell her.

"We lived together for eight or nine months and we had dated for a year and two months before we moved to New York. One night he didn't come home to sleep, the following morning he reeked of alcohol and I just knew he had cheated on me, probably with a prostitute or just a random girl at a party. I confronted him and soon the argument got heated, we were screaming at the top of our lungs in each others faces."

As I told Michonne I could almost perfectly hear Peter's voice yelling at me, telling me to stop being so clingy and so annoying and to leave him alone. And telling me things like his life would be so much better without me, things he had never told me before.

"But that was nothing, just stupid words from drunkenness and anger, what really shattered me inside was that as we were yelling at each other, he actually, uh." I took a deep breath, bringing one of my hands to my left cheek. "He slapped me, quite hard."

Michonne sadly nodded at me, understanding why it had affected me so much. I lived a whole life of abuse and now that I was free of it, he was just bringing me back to those nightmares.

"He knew about my dad, he fucking knew what he did to my mum and he did that to me, he didn't even apologized. He said 'I know now why your father is the way he is and I understand him', that was the worst someone had done to me."

I closed my eyes to stop tears from falling down my face but I saw Peter, wearing his fancy blue long-sleeved shirt, half buttoned, his blonde hair was all over the place and his normal soft, caring green eyes were full of hatred and fury. I opened my eyes quickly because that scene of him saying that to me after slapping me kept repeating in my mind over and over again.

"What did you do?" Michonne asked, her voice showed off how angry she was now.

"You know I learnt self-defence and Taekwondo, so I recovered from the shock and I defended myself. I grabbed my stuff and left," I told her, leaving out so many details I still wasn't ready to tell her. "I let my father abused me all my life, I just wasn't going to let him do that to me as well. I had done everything to not become my mother and I am glad that I could be strong when I had to be."

Michonne actually smiled as I said that and nodded proudly at me, patting my back and then grabbing both my hands with hers.

"I'm proud of you because you didn't fell down, you stood up for yourself," she told me. "You are strong, Cici, you truly are, and not just because of that but also for making it all this time and in the way you have done it. You just had to go through those awful experiences to toughen up."

"I'm sure that son of a bitch is dead now and probably got what he deserved," I told her. "Just like your boyfriend."

"We both need to let it go, so we can heal," she told me. "It's in the past and now that be both have shared it, we will heal faster, you'll see."

"I had just blocked everything related to Peter, the good and the bad stuff," I told her. "I felt so ashamed it was happening to me again that I just decided to tell no one and put it in the back of my mind, maybe if I ignored it, it wouldn't be real, but it was real and deep inside of me, I knew it happened because it prevented me from trusting people again, I couldn't allow anyone to get close to me because I feared they would just end up hurting me again."

"You don't need to feel ashamed anymore, it wasn't your fault," Michonne exclaimed, looking straight into my eyes, which were shining with fresh tears that were threatening to fall at any minute. "Is that why you can't just let your mum in? Because you think she'll hurt you again?"

"Yeah and also because my heart just can't forgive her for all those years, I kind of blame her for everything that happened to me, including what Peter did, even when I know that really wasn't her fault. Also, I feel like things will be good and then she'll just let me down, as always. I want to leave it behind me and forgive her, I have tried so many times but I can't."

"Look how far you have gotten so far, you have a whole group that loves you and care about you and you care and love them too. You let them all in, some more than others but you did. You told me Glenn and you were close at the start of this, said you loved Carl as if he were your brother. You allowed yourself to do that and that means you are not broken beyond repair, you can heal. Whatever your mum has done, you can heal from that and give her a chance, it will help you feel peace inside of you again, just try."

"I've tried," I told her.

"It won't be an easy process, you may even fail several more times but you can do this, Cici, you deserve to be happy."

"I guess," I mumbled.

She got on her feet then and stood right in front of me, patting my shoulder with her right hand as she nodded at me. I looked up at her and returned the nod.

"Don't be upset at Rick or Daryl," she told me. "They're right, if I had a plan I would happily let you come with me."

"He killed Andrea, I want to find him as much as you do."

"I won't take long, maybe next time you can come with me if I don't find him this time."

"Are you sure you'll be fine on your own?"

"You know I'll be," she said with a grin. "Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it."  
With that she grabbed her katana, that was on the table and walked away from me, towards the fence, where Sean was on guard there, he opened it and let Michonne walk out of here.

Truth was that I wanted to go with her but Rick and Daryl didn't allow me to go, mostly because Michonne had no idea where she was going or when she was going to get back, I didn't need their permission, I wasn't ten, that wouldn't have stopped me but Michonne said she wanted to go alone.

And a week and a half later I realized I made the right choice by staying, because it was Glenn and Maggie's wedding and I just couldn't miss that.

Everyone thought it was a nice idea to do this and luckily today was a perfect day, it had been cold lately but today the weather was very warm, the sun shone bright up in the sky and there wasn't a single cloud in the sky.

Many people woke up earlier to kill the walkers through the fence so it could be perfect for Glenn and Maggie. They wanted to do it inside because the moaning of the walkers would be a turn-off and ruin their day but now that they were all killed we could do it outside.

Of course we weren't going to wear nice clothes and heels, use make-up and have our hairs in fancy hair-do's, but I worn my best shirt and jeans, making sure they were clean, without a single blood spot on them. I also, for once, let my wavy hair down, getting curlier on the tips, it actually looked really nice.

A little bit before midday everything was ready, everyone gathered outside in the courtyard, I stood right next to Glenn, who wasn't nervous but he was anxious and excited. I put my hand on his shoulder to let him know he had all my support.

As we waited for Maggie to arrive, I looked at the crowd and in no time I spotted Daryl. He was with Rick, who was holding Judith, and had an arm around Carl's shoulders. Daryl was wearing his vest but he had showered this morning, something he doesn't do often, he still had the tips of his hair a bit wet and he was looking more handsome than usual, he turned to look at me and caught me staring at him, he smirked at me and I smirked back at him.

A few minutes later, Maggie arrived with Hershel, my mother had gotten her a brand new white shirt a few days ago, but the thing that got the most attention was the big smile on her lips and how her green eyes shined with happiness and joy.

Maggie walked to Glenn with Hershel on her right and Beth on her left. Hershel kissed Maggie on her forehead and then let go of her, as Glenn took her hands in his and faced this man, named Horatio, he was a Christian and they thought it was better that he married them instead of Maggie's father. He was in his late fifties and knew stuff from the bible, almost as much as Hershel.

Everyone either stayed on their feet or sat down on the floor, except Hershel, Rick brought a chair for him.

"I, Glenn, take you, Maggie, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, to love, honour, and cherish, until death do us part," Glenn said without hesitation at all, he smiled at Maggie as he said it.

"I, Maggie, take you, Glenn, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, to love, honour, and cherish, until death do us part," Maggie repeated after Horatio, her smile couldn't be bigger and I was sure I had never seen any of them as happy as they were now.

"You may now kiss the bride," Horatio said, he had a big smile on his full lips as well.

Maggie and Glenn shared a sweet, small kiss. I could swear Hershel had tears from happiness in his blue eyes. Everyone clapped at the couple as they kissed.

This was for sure the happiest day we had all had in a year or more, we had all been surrounded by death, by danger, grieve and hopelessness, we all needed this and I was glad Glenn and Maggie had decided to do this.

After that we all moved closer to the prison but we still stayed outside, we opened a few bags of junk food, including some chocolates and split them in half or three piece and of course Daryl went on a run to get several bottles of alcohol and he was the first to open one.

I grabbed one of vodka, which he had gotten just for me, knowing I wasn't into beer, whiskey or wine, but if I had no choice I would drink any of those.

"Go easy on that," Glenn said as he saw me taking my third sip from the bottle.

"I am celebrating," I told him with a smirk on my lips, he just rolled my eyes at me before walking away.

Glenn went to Maggie, wrapped his arms around her waist, kissed her on the lips and then they started dancing, having their first dance as husband and wife, everyone cheered and clapped at the young couple. There was no music but as they continued dancing, everyone got quiet and Beth started to sing and it was not until she finished the song, that Glenn and Maggie stopped and everyone clapped again.

"Why don't you ask Daryl to dance?"

I turned to look behind me and saw Beth there, she had her hair down as well and my mother also got her a brand new shirt, but this one was a light purple colour. She looked so pretty.

"Yeah, right," I said chuckling at her. "Besides, I can't really dance."

"You can't dance?" Beth asked in shock.

"Nope," I said as I took another sip. "I never could and never will."

"It's easy."

"There isn't even music, I'll just do a fool of myself if I try."

Beth grabbed my free arm without warming and started to swing it as she moved her hips, trying to get me to dance but I just chuckled and looked away from her, telling her there was no way she was going to make me dance.

"You have to move," she said. "It's not hard."

"It is for me."

"You could at least try."

But of course I didn't even try, I knew I couldn't and I didn't even want to dance. Beth just sighed disappointedly at me. I was awkward around big crowds, if it were just us I might have dared to try, especially after drinking about half a bottle of vodka but there were about fifty people here, I just couldn't.

Beth left minutes later and went with her dad, who couldn't look happier, I was actually happy for him. He liked Glenn and approved of this, it was so nice he had lived this far to see this day.

I looked around and saw Oliver chatting to Amanda, well, Amanda was doing most of the talk but still, I didn't even know they talked. I also saw my mother having a drink with Axel, that made me almost puke, but we came to a deal. If I didn't say anything about them then my mother wouldn't say anything about Daryl and I, it sounded fair to me, but that doesn't mean I accept them together.

"Want to dance?" I heard Sean's voice saying to me.

"Uh, no, I can't dance," I said to him.

I had stopped avoiding him but I still didn't feel comfortable around him, he usually got way too close to me and it made me feel uncomfortable, plus he never even apologized for what happened that day back in my cell.

"Come on!" he exclaimed with a smile on his lips, showing his still perfect teeth.

"Why don't you dance with Beth? She wanted to dance."

Sean didn't leave, though. He stayed next to me, trying to make conversation while I just kept looking for an excuse to walk away.

Then I felt a strong arm around me, I turned to look at my right to see who it was, even when I didn't need to, I knew who it was. Daryl.

"Hello Sean," Daryl muttered with a smug smile on his lips.

"Daryl," Sean mumbled with a nod, acknowledging him.

Sean's smile was gone and replaced by a frown in his face and he refused to look at any of us. I couldn't just accept Sean had some kind of crush on me but by the way he had been acting I couldn't help but think he might. He was still too close to me and I knew Daryl had realized that, the next time he spoke to me, he tightened his grip on me and as more seconds passed I could feel how tense Daryl was getting but he still was making an effort to make a conversation with Sean, slightly pulling me further from him, bit by bit so Sean wouldn't notice and get closer to me again.

Then without warning Daryl leant down and kissed me on the lips, I was really surprised because this was the first time we had kissed in front of people and I could also feel how different this kiss was, this kiss mostly didn't mean anything, at least not concerning us, but to send a message, it was about marking his territory, letting people know, specifically Sean, that I was his and that he should back off.

"Couldn't help myself," Daryl said as he pulled away, both of us were oblivious to some people looking at us quite stunned, still after all this time, most people didn't know about us, mostly because of our lack of affection, we barely have a chat in front of people, we usually just stay close to each other but there are people with us most of the times. "You just look so gorgeous, besides it's a wedding, I guess it's the atmosphere too."

Daryl was drunk, it was obvious. I was getting there myself while Sean was completely sober and probably feeling horrifically awkward.

"We should dance," he muttered and I just looked at him in complete surprise.

"But I ca..."

"If you excuse us, Sean," he said to the young man, who only curtly nodded at Daryl.

Daryl took my hand, intertwining our fingers and led me away from Sean, as we walked we gained the stares of more people but just as before, we didn't notice or we just didn't care about them.

"Daryl, I can't dance," I said, panicking a bit, I just heard him chuckled as he kept pulling me away from Sean.

"And you think I can?" he said in a mocking tone. "I just needed an excuse to get you away from him."

"Someone's jealous!" I teased, by now we were by the entrance of the prison, everyone else was at least thirty feet away from us. He took the bottle from me and took a sip.

"This is disgusting and I'm not jealous!" he exclaimed. "But you didn't notice the way he was looking at you besides," he said, finally stopping and turning to look at me. He set the bottle on the floor and then he slowly put his hands on my waist, . "I did want to dance with you."

"I thought you said..."

"And I was telling the truth," he said quickly. "But I thought we could try."  
We were in the middle of the hall of block C, I slowly put my hands around Daryl's neck and we started to dance together, or at least try. One step to the right, another forward, then left, then backwards and so on, we stepped on each other's feet more times than we could count but we were having fun.

We were moving slower, making less mistakes as we danced. I rested my head on his shoulder and seconds later he rested his on the top of my head. I closed my eyes, trying to enjoy every minute of it, every second, trying to just treasure every moment and retain the memories in my mind for as long as I live, wishing this could just last forever.

Hello guys! I hoped you liked the chapter and liking the story so far.  
I knew the wedding part was a bit ridiculous during those hard times but I do hope you like it anyway.  
And what do you think of jealous Daryl? :P  
And you guys got more information on Cecilia's past and understand why she is the way she is, there will be more details as the story continues.  
So, this has nothing nothing to do with this story but how would you name an orange male cat? In another story I will get my main character to adopt a kitty :P


	3. Chapter 03 - Detective

"A ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for."

Albert Einstein

About seven months had passed since we last saw the Governor, we hadn't known anything of him since he attacked us that day and went completely crazy. Michonne had looked for him all this time but she always comes back disappointed.

Things have changed greatly. We are now a community, everyone knows each other, everyone works for the greater good and for once, things are working out. Some people had died during runs, that's inevitable but the prison is safe.

When we go out we just don't look for food, supplies, clothes, ammunition and medicine. We also look for people, and we have brought many people back here, making our community grow, we just make them three simple questions.

How many walkers have you killed?

How many people have you killed?

Why?

Rick surprisingly stepped aside and instead of making the decisions by himself, they were discussed by the council, and together they made the decision. It was a good thing for Rick, he was more relaxed these days and he usually stayed inside the walls of the prison and almost never uses his gun, actually he hasn't used it in over four months, he usually just tends the crops, he has pretty much become a farmer.

"Cici," I opened my eyes to see Glenn by the door. I grunted at him. "Time to wake up."

I wanted to keep sleeping but I knew it was time. I changed my shirt and put on the same jeans I worn yesterday, put my hair in a bun and hurried downstairs, where I saw Carl just walking out of his cell as well.

"Glenn woke you up?" he asked me.

"I assume he woke you up too," I said, smiling at him.

"No, but he almost did. He went to your cell first."

Carl and I grabbed an apple each and went outside, where the crops and the pig pen were. Sure enough, Rick was there. He turned around and saw us walking to him.

"You didn't wake me up!" Carl exclaimed.  
"Because I knew you were up all night reading comics with a flashlight," he replied and I chuckled. "And I'm making you responsible for this."

"Me? Why?"

"I know the two of you stay up late together, I can hear you talk, you know?"  
"What's up with Violet?" Carl asked quickly, seeing the pig lying on the mud. Oh yeah, we have pigs now.

"Carl, I told you not to name them," Rick said to him. "They're not piglets anymore. They're food."  
"I just thought, uh, you know, until... Okay."  
"I don't know what's going on with her, Could be sick, could be nothing. Feel better... Violet." I smiled at Rick and he smiled at the two of us. "Come on, let's get to it."

"Actually, I'm a bit hungry, I'll join you later," I said quickly.

"You just ate an apple!" Carl told me quickly.

"I'll be back soon, I promise," I told him. "And if I don't, you can go for me."

"Dad, she always gets away from it!" Carl whined.

"I'll give you twenty minutes," Rick said to me. "If you are not back by then, you'll do Carl's chores, okay?"

"Ugh, alright. I promise I'll be back."

Right outside of the prison, where there was no grass, we had built a common area so everybody could eat together. We had lots of tables and chairs and we also cooked there. It was pretty nice because you didn't have to be inside four walls to eat or cook.

"Hey," I exclaimed as I saw Daryl walking into the dining area, he finally woke up.

"Morning," he muttered to me.

Daryl's hair had grown a lot, making him just more handsome, who could have known long hair suit him so well? I always like to play with it and he likes to play with mine, which had barely grown lately.  
"Morning, Daryl!"  
"Morning, Cecilia, Daryl!"  
"Hey, Daryl!"

It was quite ironic but Daryl was really popular and loved by the people here, he had found most of them and brought them here. He never would admit it but I knew he had a big heart in him, maybe bigger than anyone's here.

"Come on, don't ignore them," I told him. "You're like their hero, you rescued them, you keep them fed and safe, you have to learn to live with the love."

"I have more than enough with yours," Daryl muttered stubbornly.

"You can always have more, there is never enough love."

"Says the girl that refused to accept love," Daryl muttered.

"Well, I've learnt to accept it and live with it." I shrugged

More people greeted Daryl and he just muttered a quiet 'morning' to them but it was something, we both approached the 'kitchen', where my mum was cooking breakfast.

It hasn't been easy but we are on very good terms with my mum now, like Michonne said, I had to forgive her to have inner peace and I did get it when I let go everything she did to me, it's in the past now and it feels good to finally have a mum.

She and Daryl are good now as well, all the awkwardness and tension and anger are gone, left in the past. Even I stand Axel now, he's a good man but I would still prefer my mum to be with someone different, at least he doesn't beat her.

"Smells good," Daryl commented as he grabbed a small bowl and some food with his hands.

I rolled my eyes, grabbed a plate too but grabbed the food with a fork.  
"I need you to see something," my mum said to the both of us but mostly to Daryl. I can tell it's still a bit weird for my mum that we are together but she's taken it so well lately. "Patrick, you want to take over?"

"Yes, ma'am," a teenage boy said. He wore glasses and was a bit immature for his age but he was a nice kid. I smiled at him just as we were about to follow my mum. "Uh, Mr. Dixon," he said nervously, stopping us from going, Daryl looked up at him, wondering what he wanted. "I just wanted to thank you for bringing that deer back yesterday. It was a real treat, sir, and I'd be honoured to shake your hand."

Like I said, he was their hero, even if he wanted it or not. Daryl looked a bit hesitantly at first as Patrick stuck out his hand, then Daryl started licking finger by finger and I just looked at him like he was crazy. I looked in disgust as Patrick excitedly accepted the handshake with a big grin on his lips.

"Can't believe you did that," I exclaimed as we walked away, I glanced back and Patrick still had the smile on his face.

"What? He wanted to shake my hand and it was greasy."

"You could be more... civilized."

"I am," he muttered as he kept eating with his finger.

"Sure," I said sarcastically.

My mother led us to the other side of the prison, with every step we took the moans of several walkers got louder and louder.  
"The thing is, we had a pretty big build-up overnight," she said. "Dozens more towards tower three. It's getting as bad as last month, they don't spread out anymore."

I looked in front of me and there were at least sixty walkers out there, everyday people stab them with tools through the fence and when it's safe people put them in the pick-up and they are taken far away, sometimes we burn them, sometimes we just leave them away from here. If we left them outside just like that this place would smell horribly and everything would get contaminated, it just wouldn't be nice.  
"With more of us sitting here, we're drawing more of them out. You get enough of those damn fence-clingers, they start to herd up," Daryl said as he finished chewing.

"Pushing against the fences again. It's manageable, but unless we get ahead of it, not for long."  
Then I saw Rick, making me choke on my food, I stuffed the rest of it in my mouth and handed the empty plate to my mother, I waved at them as I ran away, not being able to talk as it was full of food.

"Am I late?" I asked Rick when I got there, he looked serious, making me think I had earned doing Carl's chores but then he smiled at me. "Almost but no, go on."

I joined Carl and he just glared at me, I just stuck out my tongue at him. Truth was that I didn't need to do this because I was leaving on a run soon but I skipped it two days in a row so I had to do it or I wouldn't be allowed to go.

Cleaning up after the animals wasn't a nice task but it had to be done and it wasn't like I had to do it everyday, plus I had Carl to make me company.  
I really was relieved Carl was more relaxed now, he didn't have so much hatred and fury built up inside of him. It almost was like he had become a kid again and I really liked that. That's why I don't say anything to Carl when we stay up late at night reading comics even when I know we'll regret it the next morning or why I never refuse to play any kind of game with him, actually I urge him to play, I just want him to be a kid while he can.

"When are you leaving?" Carl asked me about thirty minutes later.

"Soon," I told him with a smirk.

"Why do you always get away from this? It's not fair."

I also loved that Carl wasn't interested in going on runs or going where the adults go, like he wanted to do months ago, now he is pretty much like Rick. He stays in the prison, helps around and just relaxes, as much as one can relax in this world.

I'm also more relaxed but I couldn't live without going on runs, out of all the things we have to do around here, that's my favourite, just go out and do something different. Michonne says I love danger too much and maybe she's right, I just hate the monotony and being inside one place for too long.

"Cici, they are getting ready, you are free to go," Rick told me, making me smile but Carl just glared at me. "I expect you to make it up, though."

"Of course."

I put the shovel back in its place, cleaned my shoes and my hands and ran to where we leave the cars, as I arrived I saw Zach, a brunet guy we found about four months ago, kissing Beth on the lips.

"Get a room!" I exclaimed, Zach and Beth just pulled away and glared at me.

Well, it looks like everyone is glaring at me today. I sat on the back of the pick-up and just raised my hands in surrender, leaving them to talk, apparently the lover boy was coming to the run and was just letting Beth know.  
"Okay, are you gonna say good-bye?" Zach exclaimed as Beth walked away.

"Nope!" she said loudly, not even looking back at him.  
"It's like a damn romance novel," Daryl muttered, making me chuckle. "I'm just glad we aren't like that."

"I hope we aren't," I commented. "What if we are just like them or worse and we just don't know it?"

"I'm still here, you know?" Zach commented.

Daryl said nothing else, he just walked away to go bring more stuff. I pat Zach on the back and went for my own stuff. I ran all the way to my cell, grabbed my gun, my knife and my crossbow, which I can use it almost perfectly now, I'm far from being as good as Daryl but I'm good enough now.

When I got outside again, Daryl was already on his bike and everyone else was inside the cars, and they were already driving towards the exit. I sighed and ran all the way there but I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Michonne.

"Didn't find him." I heard Michonne saying to Daryl and Rick.

Michonne had been in and out of the prison all these months, I went with her three or four times but then I just moved on, thinking it was best to just leave it. Sometimes Michonne leaves for a whole month and I hate being away from the team for that long.  
"Glad to see you in one piece," I said smiling at her. "Took you longer this time."  
"I'm thinking of looking over near Macon," Michonne told us, Rick looked down to the floor, not happy with that, Michonne noticed and got a bit a upset. "It's worth a shot!"

"Seventy miles of walkers. You might run into a few unneighborly types," Daryl muttered. "Is it?"

Daryl and Rick and pretty much everyone thought that going after the Governor was a waste of time, he could be anywhere, even dead.

"I'm gonna go check out the Big Spot, the one I was talking about, just seeing," Daryl told Rick.  
"Yeah, I got to go out and check the snares. I don't want to lose whatever we catch to the walkers."  
"I'll go," Michonne exclaimed quickly.

"You just got here!" Carl exclaimed, not looking happy.  
"And I'll be back," Michonne said with a smile.  
Michonne got into the pick-up, while I got on the bike, wrapping my arms around Daryl, I usually ride with Daryl but even after all this time I feel safer inside a car and Daryl knows that so from time to time he leaves the bike and drives a car.

It was quite sad that almost everybody thought Daryl and I were just being foolish and probably a bit delusional, and that we were going to break up after just a few weeks. The only people that had faith in us were Carl and Michonne. But now that months have passed and we just get stronger together people have just accepted us as a couple, despite how weird they find it.

We still don't feel comfortable being affectionate in front of people, we don't even hold hands, it's just the way we are. Daryl sometimes puts an arms around my shoulders or waist and I do the same but nothing else, not in front of people.

One time we were kissing in his cell, Beth and Amanda were looking for me and caught us, it was extremely embarrassing and they were quite shocked to see us kissing, Beth actually admitted she thought the most we do is just pecks and that was it, they told everyone and we couldn't live it down for weeks.

Amanda had actually gotten a boyfriend as well, Beth and I were relieved because she spent most of her time with him now. Her boyfriend was a young man with dark skin, his name was Andy. He was very cool, said he was a musician before, one of the most amazing things of him was his hair, which was in dreadlocks that reached his butt. He really was a cool guy that everyone loved from the moment they met him.

After about two hours, we finally made it to our destination. We were eight in total. Tyresse, Sasha, Zach, Glenn, Michonne, Bob, Daryl and I.

"Army came in and put these fences up, made it a place for the people to go" Daryl informed the rest, mostly Bob. A new guy Daryl found about a week ago. "Last week when we spotted this place, there was a bunch of walkers behind this chain-link keeping people out like a bunch of guard dogs."  
"So they all just left?" he asked.

"Give a listen."  
"You drew 'em out," Michonne said.  
"Put a boom box out there three days ago," Sasha told her.  
"Hooked it up to two car batteries," I added.  
"All right, let's make a sweep," Daryl said, going through the fence and getting in. "Make sure it's safe. Grab what you can, we'll come back tomorrow with more people."

The place was full of army big tents and some cars, this place gave you chills like if it was hunted. There was something I didn't like about this place.

"Stay close to me," Daryl said in a lower tone as he turned to look at me, I nodded and followed him closely as all of us walked around the place.

There was nothing outside, just empty boxes all over the place and a body. Luckily our plan worked and all the walkers had left, when we got to the building Daryl hit the glass with his elbow, making noise to attract the walkers that were inside, we were almost sure there were a few in there.  
"Just give it a second," he said.

He sat, resting his back against the window, I sat next to him, while Michonne paced around the place and Zach was leaning against the brick wall.  
"Okay, I think I got it," he said and I just grinned, wanting to know what crazy idea he got now.  
"Got what?" Michonne asked.

"I've been trying to guess what Daryl did before the turn," Zach said as he sat next to me and now Michonne leant on the wall.  
"He's been trying to guess for, like, six weeks," Daryl said.

"And he's got such crazy ideas," I said with a chuckle. Last time he thought Daryl was a priest and he became all badass.  
"Yeah, I'm pacing myself," Zach added. "One shot a day."  
"All right, shoot," Daryl told the young guy, I was so anxious to hear this.  
"Well, the way you are at the prison, you being on the council, you're able to track, you're helping people, but you're still being kind of surly," I couldn't help but chuckle at how this was starting, this guy was just hilarious. "Big swing here!"

"Alright, let's hear it!" I said, looking right at him.  
"Homicide cop."

Michonne and I burst out laughing right away, I pat Zach on his shoulder. He always finds good reason why Daryl is what he thinks he is but he comes with so crazy ideas it's just hilarious. One time he thought Daryl was some kind of corrupted politician and another time he said Daryl was a retired model because of his hair and the way it almost always looks perfect.  
"What's so funny?" Daryl asked Michonne and me, he was completely serious.

"Nothing," Michonne said, still with a big smile on her lips. "It makes perfect sense."

Her words just make me laugh even more, I was imagining Daryl being in like Law & Order, being something like Olivia Benson or something. That wasn't Daryl at all.  
"Actually, the man's right," Daryl said. He was so serious I actually believed him for a while. "Undercover."  
"Come on, really?" Zach asked in disbelief.

"Yep."

"What?" I asked chuckling a bit. "Yeah, right, you," I said pointing at him. "Undercover."  
"Don't think so low of me, princess." He had started calling me that a few weeks ago, he was teasing me one day and I hated it so much, he just kept calling me that. I like to think I'm more like the warrior than the princess, who always needs to be rescued. "I just don't like to talk about it 'cause it was a lot of heavy shit, you know?"

"Dude, come on, really?"

Daryl turned to look at him like 'no-fucking-way', his face just made me laugh even more. But I couldn't deny Daryl was a very good actor, I would have smiled from the start, giving myself away.

"Okay," Zach muttered. "I'll just keep guessing, I guess."  
"Yeah, you keep doing that," Daryl told him.

Then a few walkers started banging on the glass, Daryl immediately stood up and went to the door, knife in hand.  
"Are you ready, Detective?" I asked him, as I walked behind him, maybe that could be my new nickname for him. Detective.

"Whenever you are, Sergeant," he said with a quick wink.

"Let's do it, then."

There weren't many walkers inside, we all killed one, except for Zach. Some of us dragged the bodies outside as the others, including me, had our weapons ready, looking around if no walkers were coming our way.  
"All right, we go in, stay in formation for the sweep," Sasha exclaimed quickly. "After that, you all know what you're supposed to look for. Any questions?"

"Was there ever a time that you weren't the boss of me?" Tyresse asked her, Sasha could be really bossy sometimes.

"You had a few years before I was born," Sasha told him with a grin.

We walked inside the building, each one of us grabbed a cart. I needed to look for stuff for Judith and personal items.

I grabbed some formula and baby food, luckily Judith had started eating food and hopefully soon we won't need to look for formula and she will just eat the same food we eat. I also grabbed some small toys and quickly put them inside my backpack, everything was considerable small except the formula container, which I left in the cart.

As I walked down that aisle, I also found some clothes that could fit her. She was around eight months old and growing fast, luckily those were small too and fit in my backpack perfectly, which by now was almost full.

"Hey," Glenn told me as I walked close to him. "Check this out."

He threw something at me so fast I had some problem catching it, once I controlled it, I looked at it and grinned. It was a camera.

"I'm taking one, you should take that."

"I will," I said smiling, keeping it in my hand.

Then he walked past me and I noticed him looking at baby stuff, the expression on his face was of fear and uncertainty, I approached him and stood next to him.

"We are not sure yet," he whispered to me. "We already have Judith, we don't need more babies, you know?"

"Yeah, but if it happens, Judith could use a friend," I said with a shrug. "And we will all help you like we have helped Rick."

"I know, but this isn't a world to have kids" he told me completely serious. "How would you feel if you were pregnant?"

"I get your point," I told him. "I would certainly be scared and wouldn't want that."

"Maggie is not as worried as me, she..."

Our conversation was interrupted by glass shattering followed by a very loud noise, like if something fell. We looked at each other before running to the source of the noise, where we saw two fallen shelves. Tyresse, Daryl and Zach were already there, they picked up the first shelve and put it back in its place.

"If this thing had come down on you the wrong way..." Tyresse told the person who was trapped under the other shelf, it was Bob.

There was broken glass liquor all around him, he said he kind of drove into the shelf and it fell on him. Sounded a bit unlikely but now we had to save him.

Seconds later we heard another loud sound, but this one came from above us. We looked up and saw one of the most disgusting thing I had seen. A walker fell from the ceiling and was hanging from the roof by its guts. I covered my mouth to stop myself from puking. I was used to dead people, blood, rotten bodies but this was too much.

"Yeah, uh, we should probably go now," Glenn said.  
"Bob's still stuck," Daryl exclaimed. "Get him out of there!"  
"We'll get the others," Michonne said as a second walker fell down.

Only a couple of seconds later a third one fell from the ceiling, and soon another fell and another and another. About twenty walkers fell down in just a matter of seconds and the bad thing was that most of them didn't die, a few kind of exploded like balloons filled with water but most didn't.  
I raised my crossbow and shot the four closest walkers to me, I went for the arrows but didn't shoot them again with them, I was taking so long by loading the crossbow so I put the crossbow belt on my shoulder and grabbed my gun, starting to shoot at them.

I killed around six that were in front of me then I turned around and came face to face with a nasty walker, part of its face was gone, he was bit there when he was human, before I could raise my gun the walker fell down to the floor, I noticed he had an arrow in the middle of its skull. I looked up at Daryl, who was on top of some boxes, shooting now with his gun, I nodded at him to thank him, grabbed the arrow and helped him kill the walkers around him.

It was then when we heard another loud sound coming from the ceiling, I looked up and saw through a big hole what I thought was a helicopter and the bad news were that it was going to fall on top of us.

"Daryl, go!" Glenn yelled, he was right behind me.

Daryl jumped off the boxes and ran to where Bob was, who was being attacked by a walker. Daryl grabbed it by its feet, dragging him away from Bob and then stepped on its face, killing it. Zach barely lifted the shelf while Daryl helped Bob to get out.

The ceiling creaked above us, I looked up and saw more parts of it falling down, I grabbed Daryl's wrist and pulled him with me, Bob was already free, he could go on his own now.

"Come on, time to go!" he shouted at the rest.

Our ears were filled by someone's screams, we all turned to look and it was Zach, being bitten in his calf. The young guy fell down on his stomach as he kept screaming. The walker then got on top of him and bit his neck making lots of blood flew out from the cut.

"Come on, Daryl!" I shouted, pulling him towards the exit.

"Let's go!" Glenn yelled to the others, running behind us.

The creaking got even louder and soon the ceiling completely collapsed, missing us just by a couple of feet. I didn't dare to look back, checking if everyone was behind me, safe, alive, or to see how everything was falling down, I just kept running.

As soon as we were out there, I allowed myself to collapse on the floor, breathing heavily, Bob fell down on his knees, while Sasha and Michonne bent their knees, and rested their hands on them as they panted while Tyresse, Daryl and Glenn just looked around, looking for more walkers.

"Come on," Daryl said to me, grabbing my hands and pulling me up. "We need to get out of here."

We got back to the prison just after dusk, to be honest I was a bit shaky and all I wanted was my bed and leave this behind us. We know about the dangers, the walkers but I had never expected them to fall technically from the sky, followed by a huge helicopter almost killing us all. We were lucky to come out of there alive.

"You need to eat something," my mum said to me, coming to my cell. "You haven't had lunch either."

"I'm not hungry," I muttered under my breath. "You have no idea how disgusting was seeing that walker hanging from its intestines."

"Well, then just eat a loaf of bread," she told me. "Karla made some today."

My mum didn't even ask me, she handed me the loaf and sat down in front of me, expecting me to eat it. I tried to eat it but I only managed about two bites before I set the remain of the loaf on the table next to my bed.

"Have you seen Rick?" I asked her. "I managed to get some stuff for Judith."

"I think he's in his cell," she told me, grabbing the loaf and eating a piece of it.

I thanked her for the bread as she stood up and left the room. Slowly I also stood up from the bed and grabbed the backpack filled with Judith's stuff, which was on the floor next to my bed. When I got it, I walked out quickly, I looked down to the first floor just before I started walking down the stairs but saw something that made me stop dead in my tracks.

Daryl's side was against the wall, his back was facing me but I could see Beth's head on his chest and her arms were around him, his arms weren't completely around her but he had his hand gripping her elbows.

I was never the jealous type, mostly because I never had something to be jealous about and I wouldn't say I was jealous now but I couldn't deny I didn't like what I was seeing. I certainly disliked seeing another girl in Daryl's arm.

When I saw they were pulling away, I tip-toed back inside my cell, about a minute or two later I heard footsteps going up the stairs. I decided I should probably go out again, as I did I saw Daryl going up, he smiled when he saw me.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," I said with a small smile.

"Where are you going?"

Daryl stopped one step in front of me, so he was looking up at me now. He put his hands around my waist and I stiffened slightly but he didn't notice, I just couldn't help but remember Beth was in his arms only minutes ago. I was being ridiculous, I knew that, he wouldn't cheat on me, right?

"I got some things for Judith, I'm looking for Rick, have you seen him?"

"No, but he might be in his cell."

He smiled at me and pecked my lips, tightening his grip around me, bringing me closer to him. I hugged him back around his shoulders, being careful not to hit him with the backpack I was holding in my left hand.  
"I'm glad you're okay," he muttered, looking up into my eyes. "I really thought we were going to die out there."

"I was so scared," I admitted. "But we made it out."

"Zach didn't, though. I was just informing Beth of his death," he said and I felt myself tense again. "Hey, are you okay?" It seemed this time he noticed.

"Yeah, I'm just, uh, going to miss him, you know? I'll miss his hilarious guesses about your life before this," I lied.

"Yeah, I'm a bit sad he died without finding out what I did," he told me. "Well, go find Rick and then go to my cell, alright?"

"Okay," I muttered.

Daryl pecked my lips before loosing his grip on me, I smiled down at him and then finally broke the hug. I walked to Rick's cell but didn't see him there, I continued to the kitchen, where he was having a talk with Hershel, while he had Judith in his arms.

"Sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to give you this," I said with a smile. "I can leave it in your cell if you want and you can give me the backpack tomorrow."

"That would be good, thank you, Cici," he said with a smile. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just still a bit shocked about what happened today. You don't look so good either, you okay?"

Rick then told me he came across a woman in the woods, she kept the head of her walker husband and actually ambushed Rick, her plan was to feed the head with Rick's flesh, afterwards the woman stabbed herself. Hershel was trying to make Rick feel better about it.

Knowing I didn't have any good advice for Rick but Hershel was wise and could do that, I offered to take Judith to bed, I said good-night to the two men as I took Judith in my hands and walked out of there so they could talk.

I walked into Rick's cell and left my backpack on Rick's bed and then focused on Judith. Luckily she had been fed and was already sleepy. I swung her slightly as I hummed a melody to her, Judith tried to fight it but she fell asleep in just a matter of a couple of minutes.

I laid the blonde baby on her crib as I continued to hum so she wouldn't wake up. I covered her small body with a blanket, stroked her head and then left when I was sure she would keep asleep.

I went up the stairs and went to Daryl's cell like he told me to do, when he saw me Daryl pat the space next to him on the bed and I walked to him and sat down there.

"I thought you could sleep with me tonight," he said in a sleepy voice, his eyes were already closed.

Daryl and I still have our own separate cells but sometimes we spend the night together, we started doing that about two months ago and every time it happens more often, not that I was complaining or anything.

"Sure," I said.

I kissed his cheek before laying down next to him and getting under the covers, the bed was so small we barely could fit in it. My back was completely pressed against his chest, he put his left arms around me and then I heard him taking a deep breath.

I closed my eyes, feeling better now that I was in his arms. The first few times we slept together I felt a bit awkward but soon I got used to the feeling of being so close to him and before I knew it I was getting addicted to it. Now I hated spending the nights alone in my bed, feeling like it was just too big for me.

I smiled and grabbed the hand that was on me, intertwining our finger together, Daryl said or did nothing, he was already sleeping.

"I love you, Daryl," I whispered as I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Hey guys, now it was Cecilia's turn to get jealous :P What do you think of it?  
Between, I actually liked Zach, sort of, did you like him?

And I'm working on the trailer, my inspiration is finally coming back to me and hopefully I will finish it soon!

Xx


	4. Chapter 04 - Virus

"I'll tell you something about tough times.  
They just about kill you, but if you decide to keep working at them, you'll find your way through."

\- Joan Bauer, Close to Famous

I woke up by a clicking sound, I jumped up and saw Rick by the door with a big smile on his face, Daryl was still lying down but he was awake as well, and he didn't look that happy.

"Damn it, Rick," I muttered, taking a deep breath. Every sound wakes us up and alarms us now. Being in the prison for so long has relaxed us a bit but you can never be too relaxed during these times.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know this would make so much noise," he said. "I figured this was yours."

I focused on him and saw him holding a big camera on his hands, the one Glenn gave me yesterday during our run, I didn't even remember I had put it inside my bag before all hell broke loose.

"Here," he said, handing me a small picture and putting the camera on the table next to the bed. "Thought the two of you looked cute, couldn't help myself," Rick said with a small smirk. "I'll leave now, need to work."

Rick pushed the curtain aside and walked out of the room. Months ago we got curtains in every cell to have more privacy, they were amazing and they also helped blocking the sun, the one in my cell was a dark brown colour because of that, Daryl's was blue.

I looked down at the picture and couldn't help but smile. I was on my back, with Daryl's hand resting on my stomach and my hands were on top of his. I was actually glad Rick took that picture. I left the picture next to the camera and then tried to get up but I felt Daryl's grip tightening around me. I smiled at him and rested my head on the pillow again.

"I need to go the bathroom," I muttered. "And you are pressing my bladder."

"Sorry," he grunted and released his grip on me a bit.

I slowly got closer to him and pressed my lips against his, he smiled into the kiss and I did too. I stopped the kiss and I heard him grunting in protest.

"Come on," I said. "We need to get up."

After some more tries and a few more kisses I managed to get up, freeing myself from Daryl's grip. I walked to my cell, changed my shirt but kept my jeans on, which I had forgotten to take off last night.

I went outside, spotted Sean and Oliver at a table and joined them after I grabbed some food, greeting my mother and Axel in the process. The boys smiled at me as I sat down in front of them.

After all these months Sean and I became friends, he has stopped acting weird around me and he was now like the old Sean, the Sean I knew before I got separated from the group. Oliver had completely moved on from Teresa and was cheerful again, he even admitted he liked a girl that I found two or three months ago.

I finished my breakfast and headed down to the grounds. Carl and Rick were there as usual. I yawned as I leant against the wooden pig pen, muttering a morning to them.

"Michonne promised she was going to get you some M&M," Carl told me as Rick fed the pigs.

"She's gone?" I asked in surprise, getting sad I didn't have the chance to say good-bye.

"Only about twenty minutes ago," Carl said. "She also said she was going to get us new comics and books."

"Great."

Rick was kneeling, putting plants, along with worms in a container. I put on some gloves and helped him, as I kept repeating how disgusting this was.

"They only took out one cluster yesterday," Carl started casually. "Probably going to need more people today. Maybe we could help."  
"I got other plans involving dirt and cucumbers and keeping people fed," Rick told him.  
"Well, if you don't want to, maybe I could. Could I?"

"We have other plans," Rick said. "That's what I should have said."

Rick had attempted to live a life as normal as possible, staying away from runs, from guns, from the walkers on the other side of the fence. Rick had become a father figure to me and I'm also forbidden to kill the walkers through the fence but he couldn't keep me from going on runs, he knew I would go crazy if I was locked in here for several weeks without a break.  
Rick grabbed the container and walked inside the pig pen, feeding the pigs with what we gathered. Carl still looked like if he wanted to say something else to Rick, but was hesitating.  
"Dad," he said. "When can I have my gun back?"

"Worms will give them some extra protein," Rick said after a long silence, I only looked sadly at Carl.

I was going to tell Carl we could go play something after we were done with our chores when we heard a loud explosion, followed by another.

"Get in the tower with Maggie," Rick exclaimed to us. "Don't argue, go!"

I was going to ignore Rick and go help inside the prison when I heard a whistle, Michonne's sign that she was outside. Carl ran to the fence before I could react, I finally decided to go after him, hurrying to the fence as well.

The two of us gripped the rope and pulled at it, opening the metal doors that some people from here had built a couple of months ago, Michonne got in but also some walkers did. Michonne got off the horse quickly, a walker was going straight towards her.

Michonne put her arms on its shoulders, trying to prevent the female walker to bit her, but a second walker was behind the first.

I ran towards her, knife in hand. I stabbed one that was getting close to the horse first and then killed another that was going after Michonne too.

The next thing I saw was Michonne on the ground with the two walkers on top of her, I was running towards her when I heard a gunshot and one of the walkers fell dead on the ground. I only had enough time to see a stunned Carl, holding a rifle before a walker tackled me to the ground, I kicked it, sending it a few feet away from me, stood up quickly, grabbed my knife which I had dropped and killed the bastard for good.

By the time I was done, Maggie had killed the walker that was attacking Michonne. She was not bit or scratch but she was injured. Maggie and I helped her up while Carl took care of the horse.

We were both taking Michonne all the way to the cell when I saw two blonde girls running towards us, they didn't stop until they were right in front of me, wrapping their arms around me and burying their faces in my chest.

Maggie nodded at me, trying to tell me she was all good with Michonne. I let go of Michonne and wrapped one arm around each one of the girls, luckily Carl soon helped Maggie with Michonne.

"What happened? What is going on?" I exclaimed.

"There are walkers inside," Mika, the youngest of the two replied.

"What?" I asked in disbelief, slightly pushing them from me and kneeling in front of them. "Are you two okay? Were you bit?"

I checked their arms first, which were the only parts of their bodies that were exposed. I didn't see any blood on them so I assumed they were okay.

"Come on," I said to them, grabbing their hands and pulling them with me.

Mika and Lizzie got really attached to my mother, she reads to the kids and somehow they see her as a motherly figure, they lost their mother before we found them. And as the relationship with my mother improved and with some time they also got attached to me, they saw me as an older sister most likely.

As I was taking them to my cell and lock them there so they could be safe I saw my mother running towards us, she was distressed and very agitated.

"Girls," she said. "I need you to come with me. It's your father."

The girls let go of my hands and grabbed my mother's instead, she nodded at me before taking them away to block D. I stayed back, Maggie and Carl could need help with Michonne. I ran to them, who were almost in block C. I got to them just as Rick approached us.

"Hey, you might want to stay back," Rick exclaimed quickly as he saw Carl starting to run but Carl didn't run past him but to him, wrapping his arms around his father.  
"Carl."  
"Dad, I'm sorry, I didn't see you come out!"  
"It's okay. I'm here. I'm fine," Rick exclaimed. "But back away."  
"I had to use one of the guns by the gate," Carl told him. "I swear I didn't want to."  
"I was coming back and I fell," Michonne said quickly. "They came out and helped me."  
"Are you all right?" Rick asked her, Michonne just nodded.

"What is going on, Rick?" I asked him. "Lizzie and Mika said there were walkers inside."

"Patrick got sick last night," Rick told us. "It's some kind of flu. It moves fast. We think he died and attacked the cell block." Then he turned to Carl. "Look, I know he was your friend and I'm sorry. He was a good kid. We lost a lot of good people."

Carl looked like he was going to cry, I actually never thought he was that close to Patrick. Rick, then straightened up and looked at Maggie, while I put an arm around Carl's shoulder.

"Glenn and your dad are okay, but they were in there, Daryl is in there too" Rick said, looking at me as he added the last part. "You shouldn't get too close to anyone that might have been exposed, at least for a little while, all of you."

We all nodded at Rick, hating what we were hearing. I let go of Carl and then helped Maggie taking Michonne inside, where we helped her sit down on her bed.  
Minutes later Maggie went outside, so she could keep up guarding, while I went for Beth, who was in her cell with Judith. I took Judith in my arms while Beth grabbed some bandages and some non-inflammatory pills for Michonne.

"Did you see anything?" Beth asked us as she bandaged Michonne's right ankle.

"They just started taking out the dead," Michonne told her.  
"I don't need to know who yet," Beth said quickly. "I don't want to. I'm glad you came back safe."  
"It was stupid. I was so stupid. When I fell on my ass, they should have just left me out there."

I looked up at her. I was on the floor with Judith, who was playing with some plastic re glasses Beth got so she would be entertained.  
"We care about you!" I exclaimed. "You didn't left me to die when I was on the floor with a walker on top of me trying to bite me. You didn't even know me and you saved me and now we are like family, I couldn't just leave you there."  
"You could have gotten hurt," Michonne said as tears filled her eyes.  
"When you care about people hurt is kind of part of the package," Beth told her. Michonne said nothing to her and I didn't add anything else. "Were there any kids?" By our silence Beth assumed there were kids that died today. "Got all these widows and orphans, but what do you call someone who lost a child? You'd think someone would have given that a name."

Judith started crying really loud now, I stood up and hold her in my arms, trying to calm her down, but it wasn't working. Michonne closed her eyes tightly, she looked like she was in a lot of pain and I knew it was because of her son.  
"Are you okay?" Beth asked Michonne.

"Does she always cry like that?"

"I think she senses people's moods," Beth told her.

"I'll go feed her," I said quickly.

I walked down and went to the kitchen, set Judith down on the floor while I prepared her a bottle as quickly as I could. I picked her up, sat her down on my lap and fed her, finally silencing her. She cried really loud and hysterically, my head was starting to ache but luckily she calmed down.

Beth joined me and took Judith from me, burping her as the two of us went back upstairs. When we did, I saw Michonne on the floor, her good foot was on the bed and she was exercising, doing crunches. I just gave her a look.

"Seriously?" I exclaimed in a disapproving way. "Well, seeing that you don't need me anymore, I'm going out, maybe they do need me."

"Remember Rick said to not get close to anyone else," Michonne reminded me.

"I'll just be out there, just in case."

I went to my cell to grab my gun. I just have it with me when I go on a run, I do it mostly for Rick and to give an example to Carl, Rick asked me to do it for Carl but I do it for both of them.

When I passed by Michonne's cell again, I saw her in there with Judith in her arms and she was crying. Beth came back and noticed too, she silently walked away. I wasn't sure if I should just leave, like Beth, or go in there and take Judith, maybe say something to her.

I decided to just give her some time, maybe she needed it. I walked down the stairs silently so she wouldn't hear me. It must not be easy losing a child, people say it's the worst kind of pain of all, worse than losing a mother, than losing a father, worse than losing a sibling.

I walked out of the prison and saw my mother walking out of block D, I looked at her and slightly smiled at her, she did the same.

"I'm going to talk to Lizzie," she said, keeping her distance. "She was more upset about a dead walker than the death of her father. Mika said she's messed up."

"Carl told me this morning that they and some other kids had named some of the walkers," I told her sadly. "I was thinking about mentioning it to you, maybe to their parents. Carl said something else."

"What did he say?" she asked as we walked towards the fence.  
"Said you have been teaching the kids how to fight, how to hold a knife," I told her, making her stop in her tracks. "And... I think that's a great idea."

"Really?" she asked in shock.

"Yeah," I honestly said as I nodded. "It will give them a bigger chance to survive."

As soon as Carl told me I couldn't help but think that if I had given Sophia my knife or at least told her how to use one instead of scolding her for running away she could have survived.

"Cici," she started, probably knowing what was going through my head.

"Don't," I said quickly. "I know, okay? You should go talk to Lizzie, she's still here."  
"Want to come with me?"

"Sure."

Together but still with about eight feet between us, we walked to where the sisters were by the fence, as we walked my mother told me the fence almost gave in, Daryl and Rick had to go outside, take the pigs and give them to the walkers so they could get away from the fence, giving it a break.

She also informed me they thought the virus was something like the flu but it came from animals, like the pigs and birds, I remembered yesterday 'Violet' was sick, so they were most likely right.

"Lizzie, those are walkers," my mother said to the older girl. "Nick was a walker. You don't feel bad about that walker dying. You feel bad about your dad. You loved him and he's gone."

None of the girls turned to look at us, they just kept gripping the fence. It must be hard for them, they had no mother and now their father was dead, they were technically on their own.  
"Yeah," Lizzie muttered.  
My mother slowly approached the two girls, she knelt down, took her knife and cut some flowers, putting one by Lizzie's ear.

"There," she said.

I could see a smile on Lizzie's lips. I didn't want to keep my distance from them but I had to, I didn't want to get sick, I didn't want to die. Then I saw Lizzie grabbing the knife from my mother's hand and kept it, my mother smiled at it.

"Alright, I have to go now," she said to the three of us. "Will you be okay?"

"Yeah," Mika said and Lizzie nodded.

"What about you?"

"I'm fine," I said nodding. "Where are you going?"

"See what else I can help with," she told me and with that she walked away.

I looked at the two girls, not wanting to leave them alone. I just wanted to take them with me, give them something to eat and maybe play some board game to distract them from the horrible situation we were living but I couldn't take them back to C, where Judith was and I couldn't go with them to block D.

"You should go," Mika told me. "We don't want to make you sick."

"You know that if you need anything you can come to me, right?" they both nodded. "You should go back inside or just stay away from the fence, okay?"

They both nodded again, I waved at them with a sad smile on my face. I turned around and walked away and as I did I saw a fire. Rick was burning the pig pen, throwing his shirt in the fire as well, which was covered in blood.

Carl, who was just walking away from the place, came to me and looked straight into my eyes. He looked down sadly.

"Dad gave me the gun back," he told me, showing me the gun in his hand. "He also got his back."

"I think it's for the best," I told him, knowing that bothered him, but I wasn't sure why. "Now we have a threat of walkers inside, we need to be prepared."

"I know," Carl muttered, looking down at the ground. "When I looked into his eyes, all the peace, kindness and hope that was in them all these month, all of that was just gone. He looked more like before and I'm not sure how I should feel about it."

"He's just scared," I told him, putting an arm around him . "He won't lose his mind again, and if he does, we all will bring him back and I'll be here to keep you safe."

"He told me we should look after each other, you and me," he said, looking up at me again.

"Just like we always do," I told him with a smile.

Carl returned the smile and then hugged me, I hugged him back quite tightly, running my hand through his long hair, I loved his hair so much.

"Are you worried about Daryl?" I tensed a bit at his question. I had been trying to get busy, to keep my mind occupied to not think about it.

"I'm worried about everyone, including him," I told him. "I just don't want to lose more people, more friends."

"I'm worried about my dad," he told me, tightening his grip on me. "What if something happens to him?"

"You won't be alone if that happens," I told him. "I can't assure you he'll be fine but you have to have faith. They'll think of something."

"Do you think we are actually safe?" he asked as he broke the hug and looked into my eyes again. "I mean, I hugged my dad and I was with Patrick yesterday, I don't know."

"We must hope we are okay," I told him. "Mika and Lizzie hugged me today, you saw it. The two of us work with the pigs and we saw Violet getting sick, we could get sick but we have to trust we won't."

As I talked to Carl, I heard a car. I turned around and saw one of our cars coming to the prison, I had no idea who it was but Carl and I ran to the fence, pulled the rope to open the doors, I told Carl to stop them from going any further once they were inside and past the fence. I pulled the rope in the other direction quickly to stop walkers from getting in and ran to the car.

"What is going on?" I heard Oliver asking.

Oliver was out of the car arguing with Carl, Sean, who was in the passenger seat, got out and walked to the other side of the car just as I joined them.

"People are dying!" I told them, they all got quiet and turned to look at me.

"What? How? Why?"

"We don't know but we think there's a virus like the flu and people are dying from it," I told them. "Patrick died and turned, there were walkers in block D and since you weren't exposed like us you shouldn't go there, you should stay away from everybody."

"Who died?" Oliver asked in shock.

"None of us," I told him, referring that none from the original team had died. "But we don't know who died or how many had died, except Patrick and Mr. Samuels."

"What about Ashley?" Oliver exclaimed, asking about the girl he likes. "Is she okay?"

"I don't know," I admitted.

"What do we do now?" Sean asked me. "Who is okay?"

"Michonne, Maggie, Beth, Judith and us haven't been exposed, we haven't gone to block D so we are okay, hopefully," I said. "We can't do much, just being around if they need help. If you don't want to get sick you must stay away from anyone else."

"What were you doing out, anyway?" Carl asked.

"Checking the snares," Sean told him. "We found some good stuff out there."

"I guess we can cook something for the rest, that way we can help," Oliver said. "We can leave the food out there so they can grab it and we still can stay away."

We did as Oliver proposed, we skinned the animals and cooked them. We kept some for us and then put the meat in a big plate, left it outside block D, letting people know and then went back to C.

The four of us sat in the common area where we normally eat all together, but this time it felt really lonely and it didn't feel right. I wasn't even that hungry but I knew I had to keep my strength, especially with a virus in the air.

It was not until almost nightfall when I finally saw Daryl, he looked away from me as soon as he saw me and I felt my heart breaking, knowing that he could get sick and he was just avoiding me for my good but that didn't stop me from going after him.

"Stop!" Daryl yelled at me in a rude way. "Stay away!"

"I already talked to my mum, stayed a few feet away from each other, I figured we could do the same," I said. "I just wanted to know how you were."

"I prefer to not talk."

"Do you feel okay?" I asked, ignoring what he said.

"I gotta," he said simply. "We are moving you and the children to another building, you'll be going into quarantine, so stay away from me."

"Don't you dare get sick, okay?" I said with a small smile on my lips.

"Don't _you_ dare," he said, emphasizing the you. "I have to go now."  
"Hey, you have to make it up to me, you know, for being away," I told him. "As soon as everything is back to normal, you will have to sleep in my cell."

He chuckled slightly. "Of course," he said. "You better make me some room then. Cecilia?"

"Yeah?"

He opened his mouth and then closed it a few times, then he shook his head and looked down at the ground, then he looked up at me with a small smile.

"Nothing," he said. "Just stay safe, okay?"

Before I could answer him, he walked away and I couldn't go after him and wrapped my arms around him or hold his hands or anything, it wasn't until now that I was realizing how much I actually loved Daryl and needed him with me. I have him next to me all the time that I never thought about the possibility of having him but at the same time not having him, and it was killing me, painfully and slowly killing me.

That night it was heart-rending to be so alone in the prison. We were just seven in there and we knew that tomorrow we could wake up to find out more people have gotten sick and died.

Carl and I slept in his cell that night, I dragged my mattress all the way down and threw it next to his bed, I turned and turned, not being able to sleep from all the things I had in my mind. I could lose many of my friends, I could lose my mother, I could lose Rick, I could lose Daryl. Actually, we could all die from this.

I went to Hershel's cell, grabbed the bible and opened it at random. We have light now in the prison but we barely use it. I turned on the lamp so I could read. I wouldn't call myself a Christian or anything but I had found something to hold on to and it made me feel more calm whenever I read something from this, and sometimes I would randomly open it and find a verse that exactly describes the situation I am in or the way I feel, which gave me some kind of hope that I wasn't completely alone, and that I was cared and looked after.

I closed the bible after reading a psalm and went back to Carl's cell, I lied down and now that I had read something beautiful and encouraging I finally could fall asleep.

So, more drama is coming, hope the chapter was entertaining :)  
Do you think Cecilia will get sick or not?

Btw, I twisted my ankle last week and I have to go to physiotherapy for two weeks so I can recover quickly to be good for my tournament, which is in a month. Any of my readers is from Connecticut or close to it? Any places I should see while I'm there? I still don't know yet but I will be there for around nine days.

xx


	5. Chapter 05 - Rough Times

"Hope itself is like a star- not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity,

and only to be discovered in the night of adversity. "

– Charles Haddon Spurgeon

The next morning Hershel informed us we needed to move to this other building we barely use but it was free of walkers and probably free of the virus, back in the day it was used for administration so it was better looking than the blocks but we hadn't found a good use for it yet.

During one of our runs months ago we found a prosthesis for Hershel, making him more independent. He no longer uses the crutches and he can pretty much walk normally, like before he lost his leg, which was pretty good, Hershel was very please when we gave it to him.

We hadn't even eaten breakfast when we heard of some pretty bad news. Karen and David got sick the day before, so they were isolated from the rest. Tyresse found their bodies, someone had killed the two of them, dragged them outside and burnt their bodies. A hypothesis was that the person killed them because they were sick and was trying to prevent the virus from spreading but no one really knew the truth.

Rick got into a huge fight with Tyresse, who was a complete mess. Tyresse and Karen had been dating for a while and finding your girlfriend like that must be horrible. We were used to people dying but she didn't die by the virus, she wasn't bit, she was murdered by someone inside the prison and that was a scary thought. I didn't even want to think what I would do in his position.

Carl and I were outside when we saw three people coughing, looking very, very sick. The man was actually coughing blood, the two women weren't but they looked just as bad, I put my arm around Carl and dragged him inside, away from them.

I went to my cell to pack while Carl did the same. I put some shirts and another pair of jeans inside my bag, plus my two knives and my gun, I was done quickly, I didn't have much to be honest. I put the backpack over my shoulders and went downstairs, where I saw Carl staring at the family picture Michonne helped him get months ago.

Then we heard the door being opened and seconds later we saw Rick walking towards us, the rest were already in the administration building, it was just us that still needed to get there. We had been trying to push it aside as long as we could.

"It's for your own good," Rick told us.

"I'm fine," Carl muttered, obviously pissed. "I don't want to be locked away with a bunch of kids."  
"I need you in there keeping an eye on Judith and everybody else," Rick said. "You two are in charge, make sure they're safe. If anybody gets sick, you let me know."  
"What if they've already turned when we find them?" Carl asked as he finished putting his stuff inside his backpack and grabbed his gun.

"You don't fire unless you absolutely need to," Rick told him.

"But you know I might need to, right?" Carl said and Rick just looked straight at me.

"I'll be there, I can do it," I said quickly, knowing what Rick was trying to tell me with his light blue eyes.

None of them said anything else, Carl just walked away, pissed. I looked sadly at Rick, who had a cut on his left cheek and had a bandage around his right hand, probably from the fight with Tyresse earlier.

"How's your hand?" I asked him.

"Fine," he muttered. "Will you take care of Carl and Judith?"

"I always do, you don't even have to ask me that," I said with a small smile. "Has more people gotten sick?"

"Yeah," he said nodding. "Sasha's gotten it, Caleb, some other people as well. Twelve died yesterday plus Karen and David."

"What about us? Has anyone of us gotten sick?" I asked him.

"No, not yet," he said. "Your mother, Glenn, Axel, Daryl, they are okay so far."

"Okay," I said, just a bit relieved. "I could go look for something if you need to, anything. I can take a car and..."  
"There's no need to, there'll be a run to get antibiotics but if we need anything else I'll let you know, now go, the less time we spend together the better."

"Alright," I said, not wanting to argue with Rick.

I slowly made my way out of block C, gripping the belts of my backpack as I walked to the other building. We were going to stay with all the kids but we were still going to keep our distance from them because they had been exposed and we hadn't. Beth and Judith were going to be completely isolated from everybody else, Judith was the youngest and the most vulnerable.

Feeling really hopeless I let my backpack fall to the ground in the room I was staying with Carl, I walked to where the window was and leant against the wall as I looked outside, where I had a good sight of the prison grounds.

Almost a minute later I spotted Daryl in front of a car with the hood up as he checked if the car was in good shape, Michonne and Bob were next to either side of the car, talking to Daryl and that's when I realized they were the ones that were going on the run, slightly pissed Rick didn't tell me that, I stormed out of the building and went to where they were. As I got closer Daryl looked up at me and he just sighed, probably knowing what was coming. He just looked away and restarted doing whatever he was doing before he looked at me.

"I want to go," I stated firmly, stopping a few steps behind Daryl and putting my hands on my hips.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I've been exposed, you haven't. We can't be in the same car," Daryl told me, as he kept checking the car not even bothering to look up at me.

"Michonne hasn't either and I can see she's going."

"You are of no use," Daryl said harshly to me as he finally turned around to face me, leaning against the car. I bit my lip, pretending those words didn't hurt me, I knew Daryl could be tactless and sometimes quite rude, I was used to the way he was, except, that normally he isn't like that towards me. "Do you know anything about medicine names, Cecilia? Besides, there is no room left."

"I only see three people," I exclaimed as I crossed my arms in front of me.

"Tyresse is coming," Michonne said. "I'll go get more gas."

Michonne walked away quickly, probably to give us some privacy and that left Daryl, Bob and me. Bob stood awkwardly a few feet away from us, he hadn't been around much to witness one of our arguments, which usually aren't that bad, just stupid and senseless.

"I don't want you coming, okay?" Daryl exclaimed. "I fucking care about you, I don't want you getting sick. Glenn just got it, don't you understand, Cecilia? People are dying! I don't have time to argue with you."

"I just don't get why Michonne can go and I can't," I said angrily after I recovered from the news of Glenn being sick. "What about Bob?"

"Bob's a doctor, he knows what we are looking for. Do you know any of this?" Daryl asked me, showing me a small paper where about ten names of medicines were written, he took it away before I could read the first name. "And Michonne's old enough to decide for herself and..."

"So, I'm not old enough?" I exclaimed quickly. "Am I too young to know what I'm doing? I'm not mature enough to take my own decisions, Daryl? To take care of myself?"

"Cecilia!" he said loudly, shutting me up, stepping right in front of me in an intimidating way. "You know that's not what I meant! I just need to bring the antibiotics, damn it! I have enough things to handle right now, don't make this worse for me. We'll talk later, okay? Now go."

"Whatever," I mumbled and left, being really pissed.

When I went back to the building I noticed Hershel and Carl where nowhere to be found, I looked for them almost everywhere but couldn't find them, instead I found a crying Mika.

"Hey," I said softly. "What's the matter? Is it about your dad?"

"No," she cried. "Lizzie just got sick."

"Oh."

"I don't want to be left alone," she said as she cried harder.

"You won't be left alone," I told her. "Lizzie will be okay, you'll see. And you have me and my mum and so many other people, you won't be alone."

"Everyone's dying."

"Yeah, they are," I said sadly. "But they are going to get medicine and the people will get better, you'll see."

I actually wanted to hug the little girl and make her feel better but I couldn't get any closer, she was exposed, her sister just got sick and they are always together, getting closer to her would put me at risk.

"Why don't you go join the other kids?" I told her. "You might find something to play with."

The girl nodded at me, stood up and went to the room where the other kids were. I grabbed my gun, which was in the waistband of my jeans on my back and started to walk around the building, checking if everything was okay, that there were no walkers.

As I was about to finish checking the building I saw Carl walking in, he also had his gun in his hand. I smiled at him, waited for him to approach me and then ruffled his long hair when he was close enough. He hadn't worn his sheriff hat for a few months now, said it didn't fit with him being a farmer now and all that.

"Where were you?" I asked him as the two of us went up the stairs to our room.

"Hershel went outside for some berries to make a tea for the sick, I couldn't let him go alone," he told me. "Where were you?"

"Uh," I looked at him, knowing that he would get even more pissed if I tell him that I tried to go on the run. "I, uh, I went out to say good-bye to Daryl, he's going to get antibiotics, Michonne is going too."

"Why? She twisted her ankle yesterday, she can't run for long."

"I don't know, Carl," I said as we walked into our room. "You know how stubborn she is and probably there's no one as good as her, they probably need her."

"And they don't need you?"

"Apparently not," I said, trying not to sound upset. "I'm of more use here."

Carl and I sat on the floor, eventually lied down as we talked about lots of things, we tried not to talk about walkers or the virus or death. I told him that one time I joined the soccer team and I scored my first goal ever and I was so excited and he told me about one time Rick allowed him to go in his police car with the siren on, said it was pretty cool.

Later we stood up and walked around the building again, just to see everything was alright. We checked on the kids and asked them if they felt alright, we asked them if they had coughed lately or felt like if they had fever but they all said they felt good and assured us they were okay.

When we got back to our room, I opened my backpack and took out a small book and opened it where I had a pen inside. It was a book with two or three Sudoku's in each page. Michonne got me one about five months ago, I tried it and I loved the little game, Carl wasn't so much into it but we had nothing else to do, so I passed him a second book and he started doing one as well.

For months we had lived a pretty normal life, we have board games of lots of kinds, we have monopoly, cards, chess, Trivia games to keep educated in some way and we also have puzzles and the Sudokus so our minds get challenged from time to time.

At the moment we had a puzzle of New York in progress, it was one thousand pieces and all of us were building it together. Unfortunately we couldn't bring it here for obvious reasons, we couldn't carry it here without turning it apart, but that would keep me occupied for a very long time, maybe even days.

We decided to not get complicated so we just grabbed junk food bags, not wanting to cook. I gave the rest of the kids some bags and some bottles of waters and left quickly after I asked them again how they felt, luckily they all seemed okay.

Carl and I opened a big bag of Doritos, sat on the floor and started eating. Normally we don't eat things like these, we eat as healthy as we can. We eat animals, eat lots of vegetables, fruits and grains and just from time to time we allow ourselves to eat some treats, including junk food, chips, chocolates, sweets and more often we eat nuts.

Actually, Maggie had found a tree of almonds and another of cashews, so we often have them, not just when we go on runs and find bags of them.

"You heard that Glenn got sick?" Carl muttered sadly.

"Yeah," I mumbled. "Daryl told me, Sasha's sick too."

"They'll be okay, right? They just have to."

"Yeah, they have to."

Not long after that I fell asleep, we had agreed that I would keep guard during the night, so I slept while Carl, Sean and Oliver were up. It was Oliver who woke me up around 9:00, I stretched, making my back crack a bit and rubbed my eyes.

"Are Daryl and Michonne back yet?" I asked after I yawned.

"No," Sean stated without any kind of emotion.

"How are the kids?"

"They are fine," Oliver told me.

"What about Judith and Beth?"

"They are good," Carl told me.

"Okay, good," I said, grabbing my gun and a flashlight.

"Wake me up around 2:00," Sean told me, I only nodded at him.

Oliver and Sean left the room, they were given a room in the first floor. Carl lied down on a small mattress we had brought. I told him good-night as I grabbed the keys of this building.

"I'll lock the door," I told him as I kissed the top of his head. "So you can sleep well and not worry about anything."

"Okay," he said, already with his eyes closed.

"I'll be back in about five hours," I said and then left the room, locking the door after I closed it.

Walking alone in these dark corridors with the possible threat of walkers was very scary and it didn't help that the sky was very cloudy, preventing some moonlight to pass through, making everything even darker.

I checked every hall and every room, including where the kids where, they were all sleeping and I hadn't heard a single cough or anything, so that was good.

After I was done checking the entire building I went inside a room in the second floor and stood by the window, looking intensively around the entrance area and the road that leads there, hoping to see a car coming back but I saw nothing for a very long time.

I did a second and even third round around the building, always with my gun in my left hand and the flashlight in my right hand and all the time between the rounds, I just stood in front of the window, hoping to see Daryl coming back.

Before I knew it was already past 2:00, almost forty minutes had passed since then. I sighed and went to the room Oliver and Sean were sleeping in. I softly shook Sean's body to wake him up, when I made sure he wasn't going to fall asleep again, I stood up and left the room.

As I was going up the stairs, I felt chills going up and down my spine and like if another presence was around. I turned around quickly, afraid there could be a walker but it was just Sean, he was at the bottom of the stairs, I jumped in surprise as I put my hand over my mouth to stop me from screaming and then moved it to where my heart is, which was beating extremely fast.

"You scared me," I muttered, letting out a nervous laugh. "Well, I should be going."

I continued my way up and I heard Sean going up as well, he said nothing he just followed me. I walked to the room Carl and I were sharing and oddly enough Sean followed me all the way there without saying a single word. I turned around feeling extremely uncomfortable, Sean just looked straight at me, I could almost swear he wasn't even blinking.

I tried to smile as I grabbed the keys and turned around to open the door, I was holding my gun tightly in my other hand, I didn't feel comfortable or even safe by turning my back on him, Sean was acting so weird I was afraid of him.

I finally found the correct key and I breathed in relief when I felt the knock getting unlocked, I turned around and just saw Sean staring at me with his green eyes that now seemed like panther's eyes looking at its prey.

I tried to tell him good-night and act cool as I quickly opened the door and I rushed inside, locking the door again as fast as I could. I breathed heavily, hoping that I was just exaggerating things, Sean had changed a lot during these months, he had gone back to normal like if he had finally gotten over his uncle's death.

Five minutes passed and Sean didn't move from his spot, I could see his blurry silhouette through this small tempered glass. It was not until I saw him leave and heard his footsteps getting away that I allowed myself to lie down next to Carl and fell asleep for a few more hours.

Around 8:00, I washed my face to wake up properly and headed outside. I saw my mum and approached her, I wanted to know about the group that went out last night. She was trying to fill some small containers with water but apparently we were running out of water as well.

"Are they back yet?" I asked.

"No, not yet," she told me. "How's Mika?"  
"She seems okay, she's just sad, how's Lizzie?"

"She has mild coughs, she's not that bad," she said. "Rick and I will go on a run. We need more food and other stuff, we can't eat the food in D, it's too much of a risk."

"Alright," I said. "I assume I can't go."

"No, I'm sorry," she said with a sad smile. "I have to tell you two things, Cici."

"What? Please, don't tell me someone died," she just looked down at the ground making my heart skip a beat, in a bad way.

"Glenn didn't die, right?" I asked quickly. "Please, tell me he didn't die, mum."  
"No, he's very sick but still alive. Axel also got it this morning, that's one of the things I wanted to tell you" she told me and I just nodded. "Sweetheart, Amanda was one of the people that died yesterday."

I looked at her in disbelief and utter shock. I found her quite annoying most of the time but I liked the girl, we had bonded in these seven months. I could call her a friend plus she reminded me a lot of Chris, my first and only friend in Woodbury during my stay there.

"Oh," I said nodding, biting my bottom lip.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I said quickly. "I knew she wouldn't last long, she couldn't even use a knife."

"Cici..."

"I'm good," I said interrupting her, not wanting to hear anything of what she had to say to me. "Be careful on the run, okay? I can't lose any more people, not now."

I then headed to my original destination, the tower. I got up and grabbed some binoculars to look all around, mostly looking for any sign of Daryl. I knew they could take a whole day to come back but I was getting very anxious and nervous. I was not used to be the one left in the prison, I was usually the person people get worried about.

I saw Sean down there, next to Rick who was talking to him, Sean nodded and then Rick pat his shoulder before getting inside the Hyundai, my mum was already inside in the passenger seat. Sean ran to the fence and opened the door for Rick and then closed it quickly.

I grabbed the binoculars again and looked through them, praying to see Daryl coming back. Not only he had left to a dangerous place but we argued just before he left, that conversation just couldn't be our last... ever.

"Hey," I jumped in surprise and looked behind me, Sean was there with a smile on his lips, looking completely normal, nothing like last night.

"Rick told me I should go check the snares and maybe go look for a new hose, the one we have is filled with mud," he told me. "Want to come?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"Didn't you check the snares yesterday?"

"We are running out of food, we need to check if we caught something else, so you are coming?"

"Of course," I told him.

"Do you have everything you need?" I nodded at him. "Cool, I'll go look for someone to open the gate for us."

While Sean went looking for someone, I put my gun and knife in my waistband, redid my bun and went down the tower. I stood by the fence and I thought I should do something with this free time, so I grabbed a stick that was nearby and killed some of the walkers that were close enough for me to kill so when we got out, there wouldn't be so many walkers around.

About ten minutes later, Sean came back with Oliver, he greeted me with a smile and I returned the gesture. I had killed about twenty walkers during this time. I left the stick back where I found it and stood by the gate.

"Be careful," Oliver told us as he opened the gates and we both ran outside, making sure to evade the walkers closer to us.

We killed five between the two before we got into the woods, luckily we weren't followed. Sean led the way, going to the closest snare, where we found a small rabbit. Sean grabbed the dead animal, put it inside a bag and then set the snare again while I looked around in case some walkers had come after us.

"Why did you come with me and not Oliver?" I asked as Sean finished, it was mostly the two of them now, they were inseparable.

"Rick said you might need to do this, to get out of the prison, he was the one that suggested the idea of taking you," Sean told me. "Besides, Oliver is supposed to be on guard in the administration building and take care of the kids now."

We walked to the second snare, which was empty. Sean checked if it was set and once he made sure we continued walking. On the way to the third snare we came across three walkers. I ran to the closest and stabbed it in its eye while Sean took care of the second and when I was done, I went for the third, killing it quickly.

"Come on," I told him, cleaning the blade with a leave.

The third and fourth snare were also empty but the fifth wasn't, we found a big bird. Sean grabbed it and put it in the bag too and re-set the snare.

"There's a place close to here," he told me. "About three blocks away once we find the road. We'll go for the hose there."

Sean and I turned to the left instead of keep going straight towards the next snare. It took us about ten minutes to get out of the woods and we only came across one walker, which was really, really good.

We walked on the road for a few minutes until we finally saw some small shops. The sun was shining up in the sky, almost right above us, meaning it was almost midday.

I ran my arm across my forehead, drying some sweat, Sean noticed and offered me a bottle of water he had brought with him, I took a sip and thanked him as I handed it back to him, who also took a sip.

"We should have taken a car," I whined. "We would have been back by now."

"We can't take the car inside the woods and the shop we need to go isn't far," Sean assured me. "We have to save gas whenever we can.

Sean turned to our left, got into this kind of commercial area and we passed some stores, they mostly had clothes there and I was tempted to grab a pretty shirt that a mannequin had but there could be walkers inside, I should postpone it.

"Oh, there it is," Sean exclaimed as he pointed at the farthest store.

I quickened my pace to the store, I looked inside through the dusty window and saw there were lots of things for gardening, Rick would love this. I tapped the window twice to see if there were walkers inside but apparently the store was empty. I smiled at Sean and walked towards the door, putting my hand on the knob and surprisingly it was opened.

"Come on," I said.

I turned my back on Sean, I knew there could be walkers around, maybe trapped inside somehow, so I was going to be as cautiously as possible, I didn't want any kind of surprises, especially like the last one when dozens of walkers fell from the ceiling.

I pushed the door opened and as I put one feet inside, I suddenly felt a hand over my mouth and the other around my chest. Sean, or I thought it was him, was holding me against his chest and he had some kind of cloth in the hand that was covering my mouth and it smelt funny.

I struggled to break free, I tried to kick him and hit him and I actually succeeded when I kicked him down there, making him fall to the floor, but I was starting to get really, really dizzy. I tried to run away from him but I didn't get far. My vision was getting blurry and dark, I stumbled as I attempted to continue walking but my legs eventually gave in and I fell down.

I prayed that no walkers would find me like this, I would be like a free meal. I felt tears filling my eyes just before everything turned black and I lost consciousness.

Uh-oh, what is going to happen now? As promised this new book will be filled with more drama, which is what is coming in the next chapters!

Tell me your opinions and predictions of what is going to happen!

xx


	6. Chapter 06 - Exiled

"We could never learn to be brave and patient

if there were only joy in the world"  
― Helen Keller

Meanwhile, not many miles away, Rick and Carol had finished looking inside some houses for medicine and anything else they could need, including food. Luckily the pair had just come across a nice garden with fresh food, it had tomatoes, grapes, apples and other vegetables.

"How'd you put his shoulder back before? You learn that from Hershel?"

Rick and Carol had bumped into a young couple, a blonde guy and a brunette girl. They were pretty much not ready for this world. The guy had dislocated his shoulder and Carol had fixed it.

"Internet," she replied. "It's easier than telling an ER nurse I'd fallen down the stairs a third time."  
"I'm sorry."  
"Don't be," Carol told him. "Just fixed what needed fixin'. I actually convinced myself I was happy with him, which wasn't all that hard to do considering my idea of happiness then was just not being alone. He made a decent living, he was charming when he wanted to be, especially those mornings after he'd come home piss-drunk and..." She sighed. "Stupid. Stupid."

Truth was that Carol's biggest regret was failing her girls when they needed her the most. To not step up when she should have and keep them safe.  
"I didn't think I could be strong," she muttered. "I didn't know I could but I already was. I failed them, Rick. I failed … her, I failed Cecilia too. She used to come to me when he was out at work and demanded me to do something as she showed me a new bruise and I did nothing, I just hugged her and told her it was going to be okay. She toughened up, got cold, got distant, she closed herself and that was my fault, it should have been me that had to toughen up. I should have given Cecilia, given them both the love and protection they needed but I thought I needed him to survive."  
"Why don't you say her name?" Rick asked, noticing she only mentioned Cecilia's name.

"She's dead, Rick," Carol said, stopping gathering food. "Sophia. Dead. Somebody else's slideshow."  
"Some mornings I still wake up half-expecting Lori to be there," Rick admitted. "Reminding me to pick up Carl after school or telling me breakfast is ready. Every Sunday she'd make us these pancakes that were just godawful." The two of them chuckled at that. "Clumps of flour that weren't mixed in right. Thing was she knew it was bad."  
"Why'd she keep at it?" Carol asked.

"Well she wanted us to be the kind of family that ate pancakes on Sunday," Rick said simply.  
Carol and Rick finished grabbing the fruit and some small vegetables into a plastic bag. They stood up and walked across the big garden, they still had a few houses to search. But they stopped in their tracks when they saw a basket and some fruit on the floor followed by red fresh blood on the grass.

They followed the trail to a fence, Rick pushed the gate and the first thing he saw was a leg with a tattoo, the girl had showed it to them earlier. On the other side of the street they saw two walkers feeding on her.

"We should get back," Carol stated. "Sam's probably waiting."  
Rick and Carol went back to the first house they went in, Sam, the guy they found earlier, was supposed to meet them there. Rick had given him his watch, telling him that they were leaving in two hours. They waited some more time for him but they needed to get back, people were dying back at the prison, so they walked outside with the things they had found.

They put the stuff in the trunk, Carol tried to open the door but it was locked. This just wasn't a run to get supplies, Rick had other intentions, it killed him, yes, but he had to do this. Carol just looked at him a bit confused, the door should be opened.

"They might have lived," Rick told her, looking straight at the grey-haired woman. "Karen and David, they might have lived, and now they're dead. That wasn't your decision to make. When Tyreese finds out... he'll kill you. He damn near killed me over nothing."  
"I can handle Tyreese," Carol said in a small voice.  
"When the others find out, they won't want you there and if they don't make it back, if everybody dies of this thing and it's just the two of us, with Judith and Carl, with my children, I won't have you there."  
"Rick, it's me. No one else has to know," Carol said, her voice starting to break. "I thought you were done making decisions for everyone."  
"I'm making this decision for me."  
I could have pretended that everything was going to be fine," Carol said, starting to cry. She wiped the tears and looked at Rick again, but the tears kept coming. "But I didn't, I did something. I stepped up. I had to do something, for us, for Cecilia."  
"No, you didn't," Rick told her, shaking his head at her.  
"If you think I'm going anywhere without Lizzie and Mika –"

If you want them to leave, to go out there with you?" Rick said, interrupting her. "Lizzie's sick. Mika is ten years old!"  
"What about Axel and Ceci –" Carol couldn't even finished her name because more tears came out of her eyes. The thought of leaving her daughter was inconsolable. "I can't leave my girl!"

"Axel is sick too and I highly doubt Cecilia will leave Daryl, leave Carl," Rick told her. "We'll keep them all safe."

Carol rested his back on the car as she hid her face in her hands, crying. She was remembering the last thing her daughter said to her, she could perfectly hear Cecilia's voice in her head saying, _'Be careful on the run, okay? I can't lose any more people, not now.'_

She hadn't died and she wasn't going to die but Cecilia was going to lose her anyway. Carol hated what she did, what she felt she was forced to do but she didn't regret it, she was just trying to save the rest of them, to keep them all safe, to keep Cecilia safe, and Rick just couldn't see that.

"You're not that woman who was too scared to be alone, not anymore," Rick told her. "You're going to start over, find others, people who don't know, and you're going to survive out here. You will."  
"Maybe," Carol mumbled, looking at Rick again, who turned his back on her so he could keep putting things inside the trunk. "Rick?"

"Mhm?"

"Don't tell Cecilia, please," Carol pleaded, making Rick face her again. "If we were ever friends, do this for me and don't tell her."

"And what do I tell her when she asks where you are?" Rick asked. "That you just left? I'm sorry but I have to tell her, Carol. She might get upset but she has forgiven you so much more already."

"That's the problem," Carol muttered. "I don't want her to have something else to forgive me for, she doesn't deserve it."

Rick said nothing else after that, he moved to the back of the car and gave Carol some of the stuff they found. There was a car there that Carol could use, so they put the things in the trunk, including some gasoline, food and other stuff.

Carol closed the trunk, trying to be strong in front of Rick but truth was that she was destroyed. She wasn't scared of being alone, Rick was right about that, she was scared she might never see Cecilia again but most importantly she was scared about losing her forever, Cecilia was hurt and it took her a long time time to heal, Carol allowed her to heal but with this, she wasn't sure if she would forgive her and that was what killed Carol the most.

"I know I shouldn't ask you this but could you take care of Cecilia for me?" Carol asked him. "Like if she were your own daughter? I know she can keep herself safe and technically she's an adult now but she's still my little girl and she..."

"I love her as my own, Carol," Rick told her quickly. "I always take care of her as I take care of Carl and Judith."

"Thank you."

Carol then looked for something in her pocket. She looked at the object for a few seconds before approaching Rick to give it to him, it was a golden thin watch.

"Take it," Carol told Rick. "Ed gave this to me on our first anniversary. Please."

Rick hesitated, he was kicking her out and she was giving him a watch, it didn't seem right but he took it anyway when she insisted. The watch was around twenty-five years old, Cecilia was twenty-one now and Carol met Ed a few years before Cecilia was born.  
"I should have given it away a long time ago," Carol muttered, mostly to herself.

Carol got in the car, started the engine and drove away, leaving Rick with a horrible feeling of guilt but he knew this was what had to be done.

He knew this will kill Cecilia, especially now that Daryl was away. Rick wanted to wait until he got back but he knew that might not be an option. Cecilia would notice her absence and ask and she would eventually get mad for not being told, so Rick wanted to go look for her and find her and tell her as soon as he got back.

Daryl and the rest had come across a huge herd of walkers, there were thousands of them. As Daryl tried to go in reverse, the car got stuck after he ran some over. They were forced to go on foot since then, making them take even more time.

But they were lucky enough to find a car that could be used. Luckily, the car was next to an auto shop, they fixed the car, changed the battery and to everyone's relief, the car started. They got in and the Veterinary College building had finally come into view.

"You were a bit harsh with Cecilia yesterday," Michonne told Daryl, the other two were a bit ahead of them.

"I know, I didn't mean to," Daryl admitted. "I don't really want to talk about it."

The four of them kept walking towards the building as they all kept their weapons ready even when they had not bumped into walkers since they left the car a couple of blocks away, the car couldn't pass through there so they had no choice.

"Do you love her?" Michonne asked the long-haired man.

Daryl stopped in his tracks, taking a deep breath. Michonne also stopped and turned to look at him. Daryl was looking down at the ground and slowly looked up at Michonne, who was expecting his answer, Daryl didn't want to say anything but there was no way out.

"Yeah." He sighed. "I have for a while now."

Daryl had always loved Cecilia but not in any special way. He loved her as Oliver loved her, or as Hershel, Beth and Maggie loved her the only difference was that he liked her and they were closer than with anyone else but it had been about a month or two ago, during a run, that Daryl realized he didn't just love her like that anymore, he had fallen in love with her, he loved her more than any other person he had ever met.

They were out to look for new blankets for themselves and some other members of the group, they hadn't had a problem until they were forced to get separated. Daryl panicked, he couldn't find Ceclia for almost three hours and during that time he realized how more important Cecilia had become to him and he would certainly die inside without her. That day Daryl realized he truly loved her.

Daryl didn't believe he was capable of falling in love with someone or that someone could fall in love with him. He had never had a girlfriend, he only randomly hooked up with girls back in the day, he didn't even have close friends. He never had someone to show him he could love and be loved.

"The day before all of this, she said she loved me, she thought I was sleeping but I heard her, I was too surprised to say it back," Daryl admitted. "And then the next day after we killed the walkers in D, I tried to tell her but I chickened out."

"That only means you have to get back to tell her," Michonne said with a smile but then it turned into a smirk. "So you two sleep together?"

"Sometimes," Daryl said. "But not in the way you think, now come on, we need to get the medicine and leave as soon as we can."

The group got into the building and made it to the room where the medicine was kept. Tyreese and Daryl searched some more other rooms, looking for other things they needed while Michonne and Bob kept grabbing the medicine bottles.

It was not until they had found everything they needed and they were exiting the building that they found walkers inside a room. The group followed the signs out of there and ended up in a very dark room full of empty cages.

Unluckily, the door they had come from was broken and couldn't lock it, so they just threw cages to make it harder for the walkers to get to them and behind the other door, the one they needed to pass to leave, were more walkers.

"How many?" Daryl asked.

"I can't tell," Michonne said, trying to look through a little gap between the doors where the walkers were trying to get them.  
They couldn't leave and on the other side the walkers had finally pushed the door and were getting inside, they were cornered.

"We can take 'em!" Tyreese exclaimed, panic was evident in his voice.  
"No! They're infected!" Bob yelled. "Same as at the prison. We fire at 'em, get their blood on us, breathe it in. We didn't come all this way to get sick."

Almost all the walkers there had blood that came from his eyes, just like Patrick. This used to be a building with animals, it made sense the virus was here as well.  
"How do we know the ones in there aren't any different?" Tyreese asked, referring to the ones behind the door they needed to go through to leave.

"We don't," Michonne exclaimed.  
"Well, it's gotta change sometime," Daryl said.  
Daryl cut the chains that were keeping the doors semi-closed, the walkers got in but before they could get any closer, Bob shot at one and Michonne beheaded the other two, luckily there weren't any more.

The group ran out of that room, went up some stairs and ran down a hall, more walkers were coming out of every room there, from time to time Michonne would cut some of their heads off and Bob would threw furniture and some stuff to slow them down. They got to the end of it and to their bad fortune the door was locked, they were trapped, again.

"Don't have an exit," Michonne exclaimed, Daryl kicked the door but nothing.  
"Then we make one!" Tyreese yelled. "Get down!"

Tyreese grabbed a fire extinguisher and threw it at the glass. Tyreese and Daryl helped Michonne up, allowing her to leave first. She jumped on the ceiling of a walkway, they were extremely fortunate that they had something to jump on. Tyreese was next, followed by Daryl and lastly Bob jumped, but he fell, making his bag hang from the ceiling, several walkers gripped it but Bob held on to it, refusing to allow them to take it.  
"Bob, let it go!" Michonne exclaimed.  
"Let it go, man!" Tyreese said. "Just let it go!"

"Let go of the bag, man!" Daryl also urged him but he just wouldn't let it go.

Somehow, Bob was able to pull the bag from their grip, by the force and the inertia of the action, Bob fell on his stomach and the bag landed a few feet away from him, opened. Daryl spotted a bottle of liquor inside of it and that was it.  
"You got no meds in your bag? Just this?" Daryl asked him, obviously pissed. "You should have kept walking that day." He said referring to something they have talked earlier about the day Daryl found him and took him to the prison.

Daryl glared at the man, the others weren't any less pissed at him. People were dying and he just cared about his alcohol. Daryl turned, ready to throw the bottle but Bob stopped.  
"Don't," he exclaimed, putting a hand on top of his holster.

Instead of getting intimidated, Daryl got even more pissed. He stepped towards him and confronted him, disarming him and then Daryl grabbed him by the collar of his vest.  
"Just let it go, Daryl," Tyreese said quickly. "The man's made his choice. Nothing you can do about it. Just gotta let it go."  
"I didn't want to hurt nobody," Bob said after Daryl let go of him. "It was just for when it gets quiet."  
Daryl pushed the bottle into the man's chest, getting closer to him again. "Take one sip," he said.  
"Before those meds get in our people, I will beat your ass into the ground. You hear me?"

Daryl walked away from Bob, knowing they couldn't waste any more time. He picked up his crossbow and kept going until the end of the walkway, followed by Tyreese and Michonne, and eventually Bob. The four of them jumped off the walkway and ran to where they left the car, trying to evade the walkers.

"That's where I was travelling, Highway 100," Tyresse said as they were discussing what to do after they safely got to the car, where Daryl was resting, taking no part on the discussion.  
"Then it will take about seven hours to get there," Michonne commented. "We're gonna need more gas."  
"But we'll get there," Tyreese assured her, then he walked in front of Daryl and informed him. "Taking Highway 100."  
"I heard," he muttered.

Michonne got in the driver's seat, next to Daryl, who was staring intensively at a small picture. Michonne tilted her head to have a better look and after a while she finally saw the picture clearly, it was of Daryl and Cecilia.

"Rick took it yesterday, before all hell broke loose," Daryl told her before Michonne could ask. "Cecilia got the camera from the last run we did. I saw it on the table and I just had to take it."

Daryl sighed as he looked at the picture again and then put it back inside his pocket. Daryl was very grumpy that morning when Rick woke them up with the clicking sound of the camera but he loved the picture once he saw it. He would never say that to Rick, though.  
"You were right, what you said before," Michonne told him. "About the trail going cold. I don't need to go out anymore."  
"Good," Daryl said, closing the door as the others got inside too.

Michonne started the engine as the two in the back seat closed the doors. They were going to take some hours to get back to the prison but at least they had a car now and they were successful at getting everything that was on the list.

"Are you okay?" Michonne asked Daryl, who had a worried expression on his face, they had been on the road for about forty minutes now and he hadn't said anything at all, not even to mock her driving, which he usually did just to tease her. From time to time he took the picture out of his pocket and looked at it for a while, before putting it back in his pocket.

"I don't know," he muttered with a sigh. "I just got a very bad feeling."

"Lots of people died, others are getting sick, it's normal to feel like that," Michonne told him.

"No," Daryl exclaimed as he shook his head. "This is different, I can't explain it I just feel like something really bad is happening right now or is about to happen and a part of me knows it has nothing to do with the sick people."

"Maybe you are just a bit paranoid," Michonne said, trying to make him feel better. "I'm sure they are all okay."

"I hope."

Cecilia's POV

I opened my eyes feeling extremely disorientated and I had a massive headache. I tried to focus my eyes to see better but my eyesight kept being really blurry. I closed my eyes because the headache was only getting worse.

I was about to raise a hand to pinch the bridge of my nose when I noticed I couldn't and that's when I panicked. My hands were tied behind me and I was sat on the floor with my back against a wall. I looked around me and the little I could make out only made me more nervous, I didn't know where I was, I was sure I wasn't in block C or in the administration building.

I closed my eyes once again, trying to concentrate hard to remember what had happened but I couldn't, there was only darkness. I remembered I went out to the woods with Sean but everything else was so confusing. I remembered when we got on the road and saw some shops on the other side but that was it, there was nothing else.

I moved my feet and found out they weren't tied, I tried to get up but my legs just gave up as soon as I tried to stand up. I rested my head against the wall, biting my lip and trying hard not to cry.

Was the Governor back and he kidnapped me? Was he going to use me as bait to get to Michonne and then torture us both? Had someone else done this and if they had, why had they done this?

I looked down at my body to check two things, one for bites or scratches. I didn't see any blood so that means I'm okay, I hope I'm okay and two, I checked my clothes, what if I was raped? I didn't want to think about it but it was a possibility, so I was a bit relieved to see every piece of cloth still on.

So far everything seemed to be in their right place, I even had my shoes on and a good sign was that nothing hurt beside my head and my ass felt a bit numb but I wasn't sore or anything, I only hoped that they had just dragged me here, tied me and that was it, that they hadn't done anything else.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed but my vision was slowly getting back to normal, I looked out the window and noticed it was almost dusk time. I couldn't be sure if today was the same day I left the prison or if I had been out for more than a day.

I had tried so hard to break free that I was sweating, I was too weak to get up and I felt so helpless that I was silently crying. I was scared, I couldn't deny that and I was also so lost in what had happened, the thing that was bothering me the most was that I had no idea how I ended up here.

After it was completely dark, I heard footsteps outside of the room. I hadn't heard a single noise until now, not even moans or the singing of a bird, just nothing and I wasn't sure if I should be glad by hearing something now or not.

A person opened the door and walked in, they were looking down at the floor and had a hood on, the room was so dark I couldn't see his face but by the build of this person I could tell they were a man, taller and stronger than me.

"You're awake," he whispered, I couldn't recognize the voice but it seemed really familiar.

"Why am I here?" I asked, my voice hoarse from the lack of use, the man just chuckled at me.

"You'll know... with time."

The man bent down in front of me and forced me to drink some water, I tried to spit it but he made me swallow it. I was really thirsty and hungry too now that I think about it but the less I wanted was to eat or drink anything that this stranger was giving me. I drank about half the bottle when my stomach grumbled, all I wanted was to hit it to shut it up but the man heard and forced me to eat some bar he had in his pocket.

I was even more scared when I saw his gun hanging from his belt. I knew I didn't have my gun or my knife with me, I didn't even need to look down to make sure, why would they leave me with those? They would be stupid.

"How long have I been here?" I asked him.

"Hours," he whispered again.

"Why?"

The man didn't answer that question, he just grabbed the wrapper from the bar I had just finished eating and put it in a container in the corner of the room, I did feel better now that I had eaten and drunk something but that didn't make me feel any more better about this fucked up situation.

The room was mostly empty, it only had a broken wooden chair, a big table that probably matched the chair, some boxes, the container where he put the garbage and a shelf. I wasn't sure what was on that shelf because it was too dark.

My mind was going one hundred miles an hour trying to think what I could do to get free and escape. Should I try to be nice to the guy, maybe thank him for the food and the water and maybe establish a conversation with him and just maybe I could get him to free my hands so I could attempt a run out of this place? Or should I just keep my mouth shut because he might get sick of me and just shoot me and kill me?

I wasn't sure why this guy, which I now know that he wasn't the Governor, had kidnapped me and kept me in here. Was he going to torture me? Was he going to use me in some twisted way? Was he going to feed me to the walkers?

Now not only my ass was numb but also my legs and my hands, the rope around them was a bit too tight and the position of my arms hurt, I was so scared I hadn't noticed before but now that I did I couldn't stop thinking about it.

"It's time to sleep," the man said, scaring me even more.

The man bent down in front of me once again, always keeping his head low so I couldn't see his face. The man ran one of his hand on my head, caressing it. I tried to pull away but he only gripped me by my hair quite harshly and I cried out in pain.

"Ungrateful little bitch," he exclaimed angrily.

The man let go of my hair just as harshly as he grabbed it and before I could react he covered my mouth and nose with a cloth, I kicked and screamed but there was no use without my hands.

Soon I started to feel really tired and drowsy, I felt like my eyes weighed a ton, I fought to keep them open, not wanting to get unconscious and become even more vulnerable but soon darkness overwhelmed me and my eyes closed.

Hello guys! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I loved the fact it was centred in three different places, and you could see what was happening with Rick/Carol, Daryl/Michonne and Cecilia.

And good news concerning my ankle, it's better. I have started doing exercises, mostly balance to strengthen it and I can use the bike at the gym for ten minutes, if it hurts I must stop though.

QOTD: What were your thoughts when Rick kicked Carol out?


	7. Chapter 07 - Inpotence

"There are tomorrows on their way worth the struggles of today. Never give up."

– Richelle E. Goodrich

"Where's Carol?" Maggie asked as soon as Rick got back to the prison. She had been outside, killing as

many walkers as she could, there were at least one hundred against the fence, sooner or later it was going to give in.

"Carl, Judith, are they okay?" Rick asked, ignoring Maggie.

"Yeah."  
"Glenn, Hershel, Sasha?"

"Yeah, it's bad, but they're fighting it. Daryl's not back yet," Maggie informed him. "Rick! Rick, where's Carol?"

"It was her. She killed Karen and David. She was trying to stop it from spreading," Rick told her. "Tyreese is gonna be back here soon, so I didn't think she should be here and I couldn't have her here," Rick admitted. "She has a car, supplies, she'll figure it out. I'll tell your dad. Don't tell anyone else yet, especially Cecilia, I need to be the one that tells her."  
"Okay," Maggie said nodding, feeling bad for the young girl, she will be heartbroken.  
"Would you have brought her back?"

"She said she did it?"

"Yeah."  
"Then you were right to send her away," Maggie told him. "I don't know if I could have."  
"You could have, Maggie. You've done harder things. Don't doubt yourself," Rick said. "We don't get to anymore."  
"Rick, the cluster's getting bigger than the one that took the fence down. We need to do something."

"We will."

Rick grabbed the backpack where the food he had brought was and ran towards the administration building to give the food free of any virus to Carl and the kids.  
"Carl? Cici? Carl!" Rick exclaimed as he walked into the building. Carl came running to his encounter.  
"You okay?" he asked him a bit worried.

"I was gonna ask you that."  
"We're fine," Carl assured him.  
"No one's sick? You didn't have to do anything?"

"Haven't had to use my gun, Dad," Carl said.  
"And Judith?"

"She's with Beth."

"Good." Rick nodded. "Found some food on the run, there's a bunch of fresh fruit in there. Have everybody brush their teeth after."

Rick threw the big backpack at Carl, trying to keep as far as possible from the brunet boy, it killed him to not be with his kids but he didn't want to make them sick.  
"Where's Cecilia?" Rick asked, feeling his heart skipping a bit, he really didn't want to tell her what happened earlier but he needed to. "I need to talk to her."

"I haven't seen her since this morning," Carl told him."Dad, can we come out soon?"

"Not just yet," Rick told him. "Any idea where she could be? Do you think she got sick?"

"I don't think so, she seemed okay. I think she's just worried about Daryl, I think she might be in one of the towers," Carl said. "Dad, I was around you when you were in the middle of it and I was around Patrick, Cecilia was around Mika and Lizzie, we didn't get it. We can help, I can help you."  
"Thanks, but I need you to stay here."  
"I will," Carl assured him. "But, Dad, you can't keep me from it."  
"From what?"

"From what always happens."  
"Maybe, but I think it's my job to try."

Inside block A things weren't any better, more people were getting sick and a couple had died. Sasha killed one and Glenn killed the other as soon as he turned and another man was so bad he couldn't breathe on his own, Glenn and Sasha had been pumping air into his lungs, taking turns to do it.

Luckily, the tea Hershel had made with the herbs he found in the woods had helped a bit, at least to make them last a couple of more hours.

They weren't sure how much longer Daryl and the group were going to take, he just needed to earn some time, just until they got back. They had lost two already but Hershel was positive and had faith, unlike Glenn, who was helping Hershel with the sick even when he was pretty sick as well.

Some time later a third person died and the others kept getting worse, this time it was Hershel himself who stabbed the man to prevent him from turning.

It was then and after a talk with Caleb that Hershel finally realized how bad things were getting. He closed the cells, just in case. If someone died and turned, at least they were going to be locked and the people were also going to be locked safely in case a walker could escape.

It was sad but they had come to that.

Rick couldn't find Cecilia so he went to ask Hershel if the girl was there and to tell him about Carol did and the consequences she now had to face because of it. The old man was pretty shocked but he recovered quickly, he had to keep doing his job.

In only a matter of minutes everything turned from pretty bad to a nightmare. A female walker attacked Hershel as he was closing a cell, a woman and a man tried to save him. The woman successfully got it off of Hershel.

The son of the man had died and he came out of the cell as a walker in that exact moment, he bit the man's arm and since he was holding a gun he pulled the trigger accidentally and he killed the woman by shooting her in the head.

Upstairs, things weren't any better. The man Glenn was helping to breathe, called Henry, died. Glenn tried to revive him but as he was trying, Glenn started coughing up blood and he got unconscious, luckily Lizzie, who wasn't as sick, was around and he called 'Henry' and got him to follow her, away from Glenn.

Lizzie tripped and the walker lunged at her, Hershel had seen them from downstairs and got just in time to get the walker off of Lizzie and threw it over the railing. Afterwards Hershel took Lizzie to a cell where a boy was and closed the door, telling them both to keep in there no matter what.

Maggie and Rick, who were outside, chopping tree trunks to help keep the fence up, heard the gunshot. Maggie chose to ignore it and she continued with her task until Rick urged her to go, knowing she was dying to go check on her father and Glenn.

Rick, knowing he needed some help, called for Cecilia, but apparently she wasn't in the tower, or if she was she had fallen asleep so he went for Carl, who didn't need to be asked twice.

Together, father and son, put several tree trunks against the fence. Night had already fell but they kept at it.

Suddenly one of the trunks snapped in two and the fence broke, Rick ran to it, trying to keep the walkers out but it was in vain, there were too many of them. Rick and Carl were lucky, they got inside a room quickly and got to another side of the prison where they were still safe for now.

The two of them ran to grab some rifles and lots of ammunition, when they ran back, the walkers were just breaking the fence, allowing them to pass through, Carl and Rick started shooting but to be honest, two wouldn't make such a big difference.

Oliver had witnessed the commotion outside but he was taking care of the kids inside the building. He ordered them to stay put and lock the door, as soon as they nodded, Oliver ran outside with his gun ready and went to help Rick and Carl.

Inside the prison things had gotten chaotic, there were lots of walkers and Hershel was the only one that could kill them until Maggie joined him.

Also, Glenn had many difficulties breathing. Hershel struggled with walker Henry to get back the bag that they used to help him breathe to use it with Glenn, Maggie shot the walker in the head and Hershel was able to get it.

Together, they intubated Glenn and started pumping air into his lungs. He hadn't stopped coughing up blood and the sight of him was heartbreaking but only seconds after Hershel started pumping air, Glenn got stabilized.

Some moans could still be heard but right now things seemed to have cooled down, the screaming stopped and Glenn was breathing, with help but he was.

Outside, somehow, Oliver, Carl and Rick had managed to kill all the walkers that had gotten in. Now they were just walking around the big pile that formed to make sure all of them were dead-dead, and if they weren't, they just stabbed them with a stick or something.

Suddenly, as they were killing the last walkers, Carl saw a car approaching the prison. His heart got warm with hope and happiness to see Michonne, Daryl and the others had finally come back.

"Dad everything's gonna be okay," he said.

Carl didn't waste another second, he just ran to open the gates, Rick hurried to open the gate of the second fence so they could get closer to the prison with the car, while Oliver kept an eye on the walkers, they had checked and they were all dead but you could never be too cautious.  
"Sasha? How's Sasha?" Tyreese asked before he even got out of the car.

"I don't know. I'm sorry," Rick said.  
"Well, get in there," Daryl told him and Tyreese didn't need to be told twice, he sprinted towards block A before anyone could even blink.

Bob ran after Tyreese, he was a doctor and he was going to be really needed inside there, Hershel couldn't do everything and he should be exhausted, he had been on his feet (more like his foot) all day long, which is very draining for anyone, especially a man who was in his early seventies.

Michonne, Daryl, Carl, Oliver and Rick rushed to the part of the fence that gave away. Carl was guarding no more of them were near as the other four were fixing it, at least just for now.

And as soon as they checked it was okay for now, Rick, Oliver and Carl finally had time to breathe, killing all those walkers wasn't easy.

"How's everybody?" Michonne asked.

"We're not sure," Rick told him. "I went on a run earlier and then we had the problem of the fence."

Daryl looked around and noticed Cecilia wasn't there, he noticed as soon as they came but he had other things to worry about but now that he had taken care of that, he could worry about Cecilia.

"Where is Cecilia?" he asked, looking at everyone but mostly at Carl, he knew she should be with the boy.

"Uh, well..." Rick started but Daryl interrupted him quickly.

"Did she get sick?"

"No, she didn't," Rick assured him.

"Then, where the hell is she?" Daryl asked, raising his voice with every word.

"We don't know," Rick said quite fast after taking a very big breath.

"What?" Daryl exclaimed outraged, looking at Rick with wide eyes.

"I just came here not long ago, I know as much as you," Rick said in a calm voice. "But I'm sure she should be around."

"Dad," Carl said, his face showed nothing but fear. "She has been missing since around ten."

That didn't make anyone feel any less nervous, Rick thought she was just up in a tower sleeping or taking a nap in the building but with all these gunshots he actually expected her to be around to help, but she never joined them.

"You don't know where she is?" Oliver asked in surprise, he didn't seem scared she hadn't been seen for hours, Rick and Michonne noticed and they felt a lot of curiosity about it.

"Do you?" Michonne exclaimed.

"Yeah," Oliver said very calmly. "She went out with Sean earlier, don't you remember?" he asked, looking at Rick.

"Me? Why should I remember?" Rick asked confused.

"You told Sean to check the snares and take Cici with him, I was a bit surprise he was going with her so I asked him why," Oliver said. "Sean said you thought it would do Cecilia good to go out of here for a bit."

Rick's stomach turned and not in a good way, he had no idea what was going on but he knew something wasn't right here. He took a few steps towards Oliver and looked him straight in the eye, Oliver was just confused, so Rick assumed he wasn't lying.

"I didn't said that to Sean," Rick exclaimed in the most calm tone he could manage. "When I left I told him to take care of the kids and be alert for anything, you and him were the oldest that hadn't been exposed."

"Where the fuck did they go?" Daryl shouted, not being able to control his anger, as he walked towards his girlfriend's friend, Michonne grabbed him by his arm to stop him.

"They were going to check the snares and then go look for a hose, I think, I'm not sure."

Daryl didn't need to hear anything else, he grabbed his crossbow and walked towards the entrance, he was going to look for Cecilia. Rick called after him but he didn't stop, so Rick had to catch up with him and stand in front of him to stop him.

"Daryl, listen, Daryl," he said, putting a hand over his chest to not let him walk any further. "She's probably okay, there's no need to worry. She'll be back soon."

"You know that's just bullshit," Daryl exclaimed angrily. "He fucking lied to her and she has been gone for hours, I'm going."

Daryl tried to walk past Rick but he didn't let him. Rick knew very well all this situation was very weird but he had to try to think positive, they couldn't just lose their heads and run into the woods at this time, it was too dangerous.

"You can't track at this time," Rick said trying to get some sense into Daryl's head. "You might step on her tracks and ruin them, you are not thinking right. If she's not here in an hour, I'll go with you to look for her, we'll take a car and maybe they just got lost or they are trapped inside a store or something."

"Rick," Daryl whispered, getting closer to him so he could say it in his ear so no one else could hear. "Sean likes Cecilia, he has for a long time. What if this is a trap? We can't wait an hour."

"Okay," Rick said nodding. "But we won't take long, an hour at the most. People here need us."

Rick asked Michonne to look after Carl while he and Daryl were going out. Daryl didn't want to take the car because they might be in the woods but he knew it was very dangerous to be out there during the night and he might ruin the tracks like Rick said.

Cecilia's POV

This time when I woke up the only difference was that it was daytime but my vision was really blurry and my head was killing me, I was so disorientated I barely remembered what happened last night, if that was actually last night.

I remembered being in a room with a man, who fed me and gave me some water but everything was so foggy that I wasn't even sure if that really happened or if it was just a dream.

I closed my eyes again, it wasn't like I could see much anyway and I silently prayed to get out of here, to be safe. I was at it for around an hour and when I was done I opened my eyes again and I could see a bit more, at least enough to know I wasn't in the same room I was last night.

It was then when I realized my hands weren't tied behind me anymore, but in front of me and I was lying on a bed, it was actually very comfortable.

The walls of the room were painted a light lilac colour and there were some dolls and stuffed animals on some of the shelves here, in the others there were lots of books and trophies. I had no doubt I was in a normal house and that this room belonged to a girl, probably not older than thirteen.

I tried to sit up but I was way too weak to even do something as simple as that, I tried to move my feet but this time they were tied as well.

There were some posters on the walls, I could tell the girl was a huge fan of Harry Potter. She even had stuff from it, there was a wand on the shelf in front of me, plus some other stuff. If I wasn't in this situation I would think this was pretty cool, I always liked Harry Potter, I even tried to get my mum to buy me a shirt once, she didn't that day but the next day she went to the store and got it for me, she gave it to me for my birthday, which was two weeks after that.

Thinking of my mum made me just snap and I started to violently struggle in the bed, trying to break free but nothing, I was unsuccessful. I was getting very desperate, I felt trapped and when I do, because of my claustrophobia, I get panic and anxiety attacks.

I started to hyperventilate, tears ran down my face, not because I was scared but because of my desperation, not being able to move was driving me crazy.

And then I just stopped struggling, my headache worsened and the only thing I was achieving was that now my feet and hands were irritated from the rope around them and if I wasn't careful I was going to fall from the bed.

Instead I tried to focus on the things inside the room and not on the fact that I couldn't move. I saw an autographed baseball on one of the shelves, I never was a fan of that sport so I had no idea who possibly could have autographed that ball.

I also noticed there were some posters of girls swimming, so maybe this girl was an athlete and got the trophies by swimming, she must have been really good because there were a lot of them.

I also saw a complete collection of the Sims 2 video game. This girl had every expansion pack and stuff pack that was released, it was impressive. I always wanted that game and I actually got it as a Christmas present and I eventually got two expansion packs. I was addicted to the game, it was sad but in the game I could control everything and my sims mostly had perfect lives, loving parents, successful children, many pets and beautiful and expensive houses too.

My friends usually made dramas in the game, including adultery, teen pregnancies, deaths and abuse sometimes, they said it was entertaining to watch that, for me it wasn't. Instead I made them live the life I always wanted to have. Once I actually created myself, well, not really myself but a girl that I eventually felt like it was me. She had a job, perfect grades, three siblings, all perfect too. I sent her to university, where she found the love of her life and when they graduated they got married and she had amazing kids.

I knew it wasn't healthy, I was getting lost in a fantasy and getting depressed because my reality wasn't as perfect so I sold the game and stopped playing. It was a pretty hard decision to make but I knew it was for the best.

It was not until I looked to my right that I saw the night table. There were two picture frames on it. The first had a picture of a happy family, two middle-aged parents, the father had grey hair and the mother was blonde. There were also one blond boy of around five years, and two girls, one was around eight, she was a brunette and the other was blonde, she was between twelve and fourteen, probably the owner of this room.

The second picture was of the older girl in the picture with two other girls just as old-looking as her,

one was Asian and the other was a redhead with curly hair, who reminded me an awfully lot to Amanda. I could almost assure that girl was Amanda but the girl in the picture had brown eyes and Amanda's eyes were grey.

Not focusing on being trapped was working, my breathing had gone back to normal and I wasn't feeling the same desperation I had minutes ago.

I kept looking at the things inside the room until my eyes landed on a specific Barbie doll that was on a shelf to my left. This doll in particular wasn't like the rest, she wasn't blonde with blue eyes, this one had dark skin, straight black hair and green eyes.

I felt my eyes watering at the sight of that doll. Sophia had that doll, she got it not long before the world hit the fan. She showed me a picture of her birthday presents and the doll was one of them, later when I visited, she showed me the doll, she said she loved it because she was different from all the other dolls she had gotten.

I was about to break down when my mentality changed. I got an encouraging thought. What if that doll was in here for a reason? Maybe to give me hope in some way, to remind me that Sophia wouldn't want me to be here and give up. She would have wanted me to stay strong and not being scared, there wasn't much I could do about that because I was scared but scared or not I wouldn't give up, I was going to find a way to get out of here, I knew that.

But as the thought of freedom crossed my mind I remembered I was tied without any possibility to move and I started to breathe heavily again and I knew I was about to have another panic attack. I started to struggle once again, trying to kick and move my arms, and this time I was hitting the wall with my hands, making some noise.

Suddenly the door was opened and I saw the same man coming inside the room, he was wearing the same hood as yesterday and he had his head low, preventing me from seeing his face.

"Shh, calm down," he said as he walked towards the bed, he sat next to me and put his hands on either side of my shoulders with a lot of force, making me stop moving. "Easy now."

I tried to get out of his hold but I couldn't, I felt so helpless. I couldn't even turn around and lie on my side, it was so frustrating. I looked up at the man and because of how close he was I could see his face, his eyes and I gasped, getting so pissed at him.

"What the fuck?" I yelled. "Let me go!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"You kidnapped me, Sean?" I asked in disbelief.

"I wouldn't call it that, it doesn't sound nice," he said as he took off his hood.

"What the fuck?" I repeated.

"Just calm down."

"I suffer from claustrophobia, you know that," I exclaimed. "Can you at least release my feet? Please, I can barely sit up, I'm too weak to escape."  
"I know, that's an effect of the drug," he said way too calmly, like if we were discussing the most normal thing in the world. "You will feel weak for at least a whole day. I will cut the rope but don't even try to run, you will fall down and you will lose my trust."

"Where are we?"

"During a run with Oliver we came across a nice neighbourhood, there are almost no walkers and this house has bars on the windows downstairs, so it's safer than the rest. We'll be fine."

Sean grabbed a knife from his jeans, when I looked closely at it, I noticed it was my knife. I felt rage inside of me as I saw him using my weapons and who knows where it's my gun. Sean smiled in a really scary way after he cut the rope from my feet. I bent my knees and then stretched them, it felt so good to being able to do that.

"Are you going to kill me?" I asked him without showing any kind of fear.

"That's not the plan, babe."

I almost puked and kicked him after he called me that but I controlled myself for my own good. I couldn't kick him and expect him to not tie my feet again.

I looked into his green eyes and what I saw made me almost lose my cool. They were empty, they didn't show mercy, or love, or even fear, or regret, or hatred or anxiousness, or anything at all. I could only see one thing in them and I didn't like it at all, it was madness.

I had seen that same look in a few people when I was in jail, so I knew that look. They weren't there for long, some just lost their minds there, I almost lost mine and I probably got to look close to that.

"Are you sure it's safe here?" I asked him. "I don't want to be like this if a walker or a lot of them find me here."

"That won't happen," he assured me but I wasn't that convinced.

Later he put his hand inside the pocket of his pullover, he had a crazy smile on his lips, making me fear for my life right there and then and I wasn't that wrong. He took out a syringe and I freaked out at the sight of it.

"Woah," I exclaimed.

I attempted to crawl away from him but I only moved a few inches before he grabbed me by my arm and dragged me back to the middle of the bed. I just shook my head at him as I pleaded.

"Please, don't, please!"

"Shh, don't be scared," he told me. "This will just relax you for a couple of hours, I need to go out so I can't take any chances with you."

"Don't drug me again, please, I can go with you if you want!"

"I want you to come with me, babe, but in your condition, you wouldn't even make it out of the house. Don't worry, you'll be fine."

I kicked and struggled as Sean grabbed me again but he got on top of me, straddling me, and in no time he injected me on my shoulder and he got off of me as I tried hard not to cry.

Sean kissed the top of my head and then he left the room, closing the door after him. I didn't feel dizzy or black out right away but when it started to happen I couldn't help but cry.

I had never, ever, felt to impotent, so powerless in my entire life, not even my father achieved to make me feel like this. I could at least put some kind of defence, begged him to stop or run to my room and lock the door and then go to school and escape for a bit, but here my only escape was when I was unconscious and I really preferred to be awake, I wasn't sure what he could be capable of, I didn't want to be unconscious and being even more vulnerable. I cried until I reluctantly fell into a very deep sleep.

So, Daryl just found Cecilia is missing. What will happen now?  
Hope you enjoy the chapter and thanks for keep reading :)

So guys, good news, I started training yesterday after my three weeks breaks because of my injury. I didn't feel any kind of pain while I did it but I felt some afterwards, which I think is normal.


	8. Chapter 08 - Madness

"Endure despite the pain.

The key is grace of strength."

? Lailah Gifty Akita, Think Great: Be Great!

The following day I woke up being really hungry, thirsty, and somehow, really cold, probably a second effect of the drugs. My stomach burnt from the emptiness but I was too pride to ask Sean for anything, so I just curled in a ball on the bed.

Last night, I woke up less disorientated and my headache wasn't as bad but Sean was there when I opened my eyes, he was worried about me, apparently he used a bigger dose than he should had and I slept more than he calculated I would. He doesn't even know what he is doing, he could kill me with a big enough dose.

Based on Sean we had been out of the prison for almost two days, people back there should have noticed my absence by now, maybe they are looking for me... Rick, Carl, my mum, Maggie. I still didn't know if Daryl and Michonne had made it back yet but if they were they for sure would be looking for me now as well.

But a part of me was thinking that they could assume walkers ate us and stopped looking for us, I hope they don't think that or that they don't give up on me.

Today I was feeling a bit better, my vision was great, my headache was mostly due to lack of food than the drugs and I wasn't as weak because Sean didn't drug me last night, he was scared something could go wrong with the amount of drugs that had gone into my system, he didn't want to accidentally kill me, I guess that was a good thing.

"We could tell them we had to run away from walkers and we got lost," I said. "No one has to know, Sean."

"We won't go back, ever," he muttered.

"Why not? We were safe there," I exclaimed, trying not to panic. "This house can't be any safer than the prison."

"Safe? People are dying from a stupid virus, they turn and kill more people, do you call that safe?"

"Well, it can't be perfect, can it?"

Some minutes later Sean grabbed my arm and pulled me up to my feet quite fast, my vision turned black for a few seconds but it wasn't like Sean noticed or cared. He took me to the master bedroom, where he apparently was sleeping at.

He threw me on the bed and then went into the walking closet. I tried to slowly stand without being noticed and then run for my life but Sean noticed and he threatened me with his gun. After that he didn't take his eyes off of me, watching my every move. A couple of minutes later he came back holding some grey sweatpants and a light blue shirt, he set them on the bed and smiled at me.

"Apparently the mother was a bit bigger than you, I think her jeans will be too big for you," he told me. "You have gotten too skinny, maybe the daughter's clothes will fit you better but I assumed you will want to be a bit more comfortable, at least now. Now, listen to me really, really careful, I will release your hands so you can change but," he said, grabbing his gun and waving it in front of my eyes. "If you try anything I won't hesitate to use it."

I nodded and then he let my hands free and just sat down on the bed and looked intensively at me, I just looked down at the floor, feeling really awkward and uncomfortable.

"Uh, can I go in the bathroom?"

"No," he stated. "I would change your clothes myself but I need to hold the gun, now undress!"

I stared at him in disbelief, I had never done something so shameful in my life. He kept telling me to do it and I just stared at the clothes and then at the gun in his hand. He sat up straight, looking pissed.

"I'm okay in my clothes," I managed to get out, stuttering a bit and gulping saliva.

"Just fucking change, Cici," he exclaimed. "I don't want to hurt you."

I glared at him before turning around and angrily taking my shirt off. I was about to put the other shirt on when he stopped me as he coughed at me and told me to turn around to face him and to take my jeans off. I bit my lip as I slowly turned, I unbuttoned my jeans and quickly took them off. So I was in just my underwear in front of him.

Not even Daryl had seen me like this, well if you don't count the day we went swimming to that lake, but I had never felt so exposed, so ashamed. I quickly grabbed the shirt and put it on, luckily it was a bit big on me so it reached past my ass. I then grabbed the sweatpants and put them on too, but those things didn't help at making me feel better, I felt like they really weren't covering me at all.

"Good girl," he muttered with a twisted smile.

"What do you want, Sean?"I spat.  
"Isn't it obvious?" he asked with a smirk. "I want you."

That made chills go up and down my back and my knees almost gave away, making me stumble a bit. It wasn't like I wasn't expecting that answer, it was the way he said that made me really fear for my life. What if madness ran in the family and he turns to be just like Shane?

"What's your plan? Making us stay here for a very long time, just the two of us and you go for food and supplies on your own while I stay here, tied, locked, maybe passed out drugged?"

"Not quite," he told me. "Eventually you'll get used to the idea and the two of us will go get supplies and we'll survive together, you'll see."

"This is crazy!" I almost shouted. "We won't last long like this! We need more people!"

"We might find some, it's just us now, though."

Sean stood up then, he tied my wrists together again and he pushed me towards the room I had been for about a day. He pushed me into the bed and the closed the door, leaving me on my own again.

This time I could stand up, so I did. I stood by the window, looking out of it. There were about ten houses that looked just the same. There were some cars on the street and if I was lucky to escape I might use one of those, I didn't even know where I was, where I should run to, but the important thing was to just run away, I will worry about finding the way back later.

I had never been in a situation like this before, I never thought I would, especially not after the world turned to shit but here I was, kidnapped by a crazy guy that apparently just wants me, which is terrifying to think.

I stood by the window for hours, trying to come up with a plan to escape but my options weren't good. I stayed there even after dusk, contemplating if I could just jump out of the window or something, I could but I would have to squeeze myself out since the space was too small and it would be extremely risky, I could fall in a bad way and it wouldn't be prudent to escape at night, with my hands tied and with no weapon on, not even a stick or something.

I lied down on the bed, my stomach grumbled loudly, today I got no food or water. I spent all night trying to chew the rope around my wrists but I couldn't see any progress. Eventually exhaustion beat me and I fell asleep.

The next day wasn't any better. Today was the third or even the start of the fourth day since he kidnapped me and as more time passed I lost more hope.

It was past midday when I heard rushed footsteps going up the stairs, Sean ran inside my room, slamming the door open quite forcefully. He looked so agitated and anxious, I only hope the reason wasn't a herd of walkers trying to come in.

"What is going on?" I asked him alarmed.

Instead of answering me he put a cloth in my mouth so I wouldn't talk or scream and then he tied my feet again. He lifted me up and took me to the bathroom of the master bedroom, which was the farthest place from the stairs.

"You make a single sound and I promise I'll kill you," he whispered and as he did, I heard noises downstairs.

He rushed out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him and seconds later I heard he also closed the door of the room. I struggled to break free but as usual my tries were in vain.

"Sean, what are you doing here?" I heard a familiar voice saying. My heart skipped a bit, this was my chance.

"We were sent on a run, I was with a group but a herd made us go separate ways, I spent the night here," he lied.

"Are you alone?"

"Yes, I don't know where the others are or if they are okay."

"How many were you?"

"We were four," he said. "What are you doing here, Carol? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," my mother exclaimed.

I tried to get up but the time I almost succeeded I slipped and fell on my butt. I frantically tried to free my legs or my arms and tried to scream but any sound that came out of my mouth was way too low for my mother to hear, especially with the doors closed.

"Do you need help?" she asked.

Why isn't she asking for me? Didn't she know I was missing? I thought that after three days of being away people would notice? Or didn't she make it back to the prison that day and never found out I was missing? And if that was the case, where was Rick?

"You should get back to the prison, Sean, it's not safe here."

"I was planning to leave after lunch, just make sure everything was calm enough."

"Alright," she said. "Good luck."  
As soon as I heard the front door closing, tears streamed down my face like waterfalls. My own mother was in this house and she just left. She could have saved me but she bought all the lies Sean told her and now she was gone.

Minutes later, Sean walked in again, got the cloth out of my mouth and released my feet and for the first time ever I didn't struggle, I didn't fight, I didn't even move at all. I just kept crying, knowing that my only hope was gone. Sean kissed the top of my head and that only made me cried harder, which actually pissed him off.

"Oh, shut up!" he exclaimed as he grabbed me by my arm and pulled me up to my feet with so much strength I almost fell down again. He pulled me out of the bathroom and then threw me on the bed of the master bedroom. "Don't you want me, babe? Are you going to tell me you prefer that useless redneck over me? You are fucked up, Cici! Can't you see he got you under his spell?"

"Let me go!" I muttered. "Please, my mum was here and you hid me from her! This isn't even about Daryl, she is my family, all of them are!"

"I lost my family too, lost every one of them," he exclaimed angrily. "Do you remember my uncle Shane? He was murdered by your so called family, by Rick."

"I'm sorry but..."

"But? No, there are no buts! He killed him, simple as that."

"Just let me go, I don't want to be here! Why are you doing this? Why?" I shouted. "Why?"

"You want to know why? Alright, let's talk," he exclaimed, grabbing a chair and placing it in front of the bed before he sat on it, looking me directly in the eye. "I fucking love you, Cici! Always have, we spent more than a month in that camp and I started to like you! We fucking kissed, Cici! Do you remember? Do you?"

I nodded at him, remembering what I considered a mistake. I was drunk and Teresa dared me to so I did it. I said nothing but he demanded me to say it.

"Yeah," I whispered. "I remember."

"I was thinking about telling you about the way I felt but then your sister died, not a good time to express your feelings." I wanted to punch him for even mentioning Sophia and in a so careless way. Asshole. "And then you just got lost. I thought you died, we all did and when you got back you hooked up with that good for nothing man, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" I shouted. "You abducted me! You are keeping me here hostage, those aren't ways to get a girl to like you!"

He only chuckled as he shook his head as if I had just said something comical, then he got on his feet and approached me, I crawled away from him but he grabbed me by my calf, stopping me from getting any farther and then he dragged me to the end of the bed, closer to him, I kept kicking but it was in vain.

He leant in and knowing what he was going to do, I turned my face and tried to get away again but he only chuckled as he grabbed my shoulder and with his other hand he gripped my hair harshly, making me face him again.

"I didn't want to get to this but you made me hurt you, Cici," he muttered. "Now, where were we?"

I tried to move my head as I whimpered but he only gripped my hair more tightly. I did anything I could and I managed to kick him down there, he let go of me for a split second, which was enough for me to move away. Quickly I got up and was ready to run, despite my hands being tied, but I didn't even make it three steps away when Sean grabbed me from behind, lifted me up and threw me on the bed again. He look pissed.

He hit me on my stomach hard, taking the air out of me, as he screamed at me to never disrespect him like that. Then he got close to me again, he gripped my hair just as before and then he just crashed his lips against mine without wasting a second. I didn't kiss him back, I never would but nevertheless when he finished, he had a smile on his face, satisfied with himself. I wanted to cry but I wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

"If we are going to live together I think you deserve to know the truth, the whole truth," he said. "This wasn't a thing that just happened, you know? This was carefully planned for months! I had other things to do but this was the way it turned out, I'm not complaining."

"What do you mean?"

"The plan was always to get you out of there, yes. But I needed other things to be done but when both Rick and Daryl were gone and you stayed behind, I just couldn't miss that chance, could I? It doesn't happen often and everyone else was busy with the sick, besides, it was so easy to trick Oliver, you, and anyone else if I needed to," he said with a horrible smirk on his face. "The original plan was to kill Daryl for stealing you from me, he doesn't deserve you!"

"At least he doesn't have to kidnap me to have me," I spat and he just chuckled but I knew I hit a nerve, his green eyes darkened and he looked uncomfortable.

"Anyway, I wanted to kill him and I still do, I'll have my chance I know," he said smiling. "Another part of my plan was revenge, you see, Rick deserves to die. He killed my uncle, leaving me with no one else, he needs to pay but like I said, I'll have my chance, I'll have my revenge."

"Did you really expect to be able to kill them both? And even if you succeeded, everyone else would kill you for that," I exclaimed.

"Not if you plan it and know where and when to strike."

"I was there that night, you know?"

"What night?"

"The night Rick killed Shane. Shane tried to kill him, so he just acted in self defence."

"That's what he claims but..."  
"I was there, I saw it happen. Your uncle was messed up," I told him. "Just like you."

Sean stood up and without warming he just slapped me hard on my left cheek, I didn't even cry out or anything, I was used to it, to show a strong face and I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me even weaker, no matter what.

"You know nothing!" he shouted. "You should be thankful both of them are still alive but I will hunt them down and when they least expect it," he raised his hand holding the gun. "Bang."

All the things he was saying were awful and terrible and scary but only a thought was running in my head, if he was positive that he was going to have his chance to kill them, then that could only mean we were close to the prison now and that he will keep close to it until he gets everything he wants, which he will never have. Who does he think he is? Kill both Rick and Daryl? That's very ambitious... too ambitious.

"You know what would be just so sweet?" he asked with a mad look on his face. "Capture Daryl and make him see us kissing, hugging, just touching and he wouldn't be able to do anything. That would be perfect but that would be too complicated."

"You are a son of a bitch!" I exclaimed. "He will find me and he will kill you!"

"You wish," he muttered showing no fear at all. "Well, now you know what I had been planning all these months and let me tell you, I will succeed and you will be there to see them die, after that it will be just you and me, forever."

Sean then pulled me up from the bed, grabbing my arm very tightly, I got a bruise the other day from the way he grabbed me and I'm sure I will get a bruise from this. He pulled me down the hallway and took me back to what he calls 'my' room. Instead of pushing me into the bed like he normally does, he spun me around and kissed me. He broke it quickly and sweetly smiled at me, or tried to, because for me it didn't look sweet, it was scary.

"I love you," he whispered and then pushed me into bed, closing the door and going downstairs afterwards.

I just collapsed on the floor and broke down. I felt disgusting and I couldn't get out the feeling of his lips on mine. I kicked a garbage can out of anger and continued to cry. If only I could forget what just happened.

Then I stood up and looked inside the room for anything sharp but I couldn't find a single object, I checked three times and nothing, so I proceeded to bite the ropes.

Hours later the only thing I had managed was to irritate the skin of my wrists even more, to the point where the skin broke and blood stained the rope, it burnt like hell but I barely felt it, I only cared about getting out.

A little bit before nightfall Sean gave me a glass of water and some canned food. I didn't eat until he left the room, I didn't want to ear or accept anything that he gave me but I knew I needed to eat and drink water.

About three hours after it got dark, Sean walked into the room and I just feared he was going to try something, he got too close to my face I was too focused on preventing to be kissed by him again that I didn't notice he had a syringe in his hand. It was too late when I did notice.

"Why?" I asked almost crying.

"I told you so many things today, you might be mad at me now," he told me. "It's just for now, I promise."

He hadn't drugged me in more than a day and my mind clarity was pretty good, I enjoyed being on all my five senses that were almost as good as always but now I was being drugged again.

"I don't want to do this to you, babe," he said. "I promise but I need to trust you and at the moment I don't."

The drug started kicking, making me really drowsy, I hated being so impotent. I hated knowing there was nothing I could do to fight this, to keep conscious. The only thing I could do was hope to be safe while I was out.

"Any luck?" Carl asked as his father came back to the prison.

"No," he muttered, looking down at the ground.

The healthy people had gone on party searches every day, almost all day long. Oliver felt like shit, knowing he was the one that let them out.

Glenn was feeling okay but was in so shape to go out to look for his friend. He insisted, he said he wouldn't go far and would go on car but no one allowed him to go, especially Maggie and Hershel.

They have looked for Cecilia for two whole days and that first night. Daryl followed their tracks from snare to snare and then saw their tracks deviating to the left, there were no tracks of a single walker next to theirs and he saw no sign of any struggle so he deceived her right there to go another path. He followed all the way to a store where they spent the first night. He found two opened cans of food and one empty bottle of water plus one of Cecilia's hair ties, he knew it was hers because it was a yellow neon colour, she had gotten new hair ties of about five different neon colours about a month ago and she absolutely loved them, she always worn them. Daryl grabbed the tie and put it on his wrist.

From there, he followed one set of tracks about three miles away from the shop until the trace got fainter and fainter, until the point where Daryl saw nothing else. He followed the tracks over and over again, making sure he hadn't missed something, that he hadn't misread a track.

"We'll find her dad," Carl assured him, they were sat on their dining area with some other people. "We will."

"Why are you so sure?" Lizzie, who wasn't far heard, and couldn't help herself but ask.

"She got lost in the woods for four days and Daryl found her. We were forced to go separate ways not long after that," Carl told her. "It took her eight months to find us but she did. It's our turn to find her, we will, I'm sure of it."

"Maybe the third time's the charm," the girl muttered, angering Carl. Mika just grabbed her sister's sleeve and tugged at it to stop her from saying anything else.

"Don't you ever dare say that again!" Carl shouted.

"Carl," Rick said, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder.

As soon as night fell and Rick ordered to get back, Daryl rushed to his cell, lying down on his bed, refusing to see anyone. To be honest he was scared of not being able to find her again or finding her too late.

It would kill him to find her body or looking her as a walker, that would be the worst scenario. Just the thought of her blue eyes turning into the icy greyish shade of the walker's eye and hearing her snarling instead of talking made his heart ache.

"I told her she was of no use and I didn't want her to go," Daryl told Michonne as she leant against the wall of his cell. "I should have allowed her to come, I should have let her. I can't decide for her, you know? She could have been here right now if I had just..."

"Don't," Michonne said quickly. "She could have died on that run, you don't know that, Daryl. Don't blame yourself, it won't do any good."

"I'll kill that son of a bitch!" Daryl exclaimed angrily. "I'll make him pay and if I find out he laid a single finger on her I..."

"Just stop, don't think such things," Michonne told him quickly. "You should concentrate on eating and sleeping."

"I'm not hungry," he grunted.

"I know, I'm not either but we need to have strength to keep looking for her."

Daryl hadn't eaten or slept well since he came back from the run, he couldn't stop thinking about finding her and he was so anxious, he just couldn't fall asleep and he was so scared he just couldn't tell he was hungry when he was actually starving.

"I told you I had a fucking bad feeling!" Daryl exclaimed with a frustrated tone, almost breaking down as he grabbed the picture from the table next to his bed and looked at the two of them, sleeping peacefully in each other's arm. "I just never thought it would be about her."

"We'll find her, I promise!" Michonne said and before Daryl could reply, Michonne spoke quickly. "I'll bring you some food and you have to eat it."

Michonne went down and opened a can of peas and grabbed a piece of meat they had cooked for lunch and took the plate up to Daryl, who at first refused to eat but then Michonne grabbed her sword and threatened him with it. He gave in and started eating, his stomach grumbled as soon as it got some food, Michonne smiled when she heard it. Daryl thanked her for the food and then lied down, and before he noticed he was fast asleep and with a full stomach.

In the kitchen, Rick, Hershel and Maggie were talking and eating dinner. Hershel was still taking care of the few people that were still sick and was quite exhausted, Maggie had been on guard, if Cecilia came back.

"What if she bumped into Carol and they are together?" Maggie muttered, she really didn't believe it but they had to check every possibility, and each one of them was better than the the real scenario.

"What are the odds of them bumping into each other?" Hershel said.

"Besides, you know she wouldn't choose her," Rick said with a sad smile on his lips. "She wouldn't leave Daryl."

"But what if she didn't choose her but she has stayed with her for now, just trying to get her to come back or something," Maggie suggested. "They are finally on good terms, she won't give up on Carol that easily."

"Look, we don't want to believe it but Sean abducted her," Rick told her. "It's hard to grasp the truth but that's what happened."  
"How do you even know that?" Maggie asked, refusing to accept that. "We have no proofs of that."

"He lied to her, to Oliver," Rick told her, losing his temper a bit. "He said _I_ ordered them to check the snares, I never did that. He lied and that's suspicious, Maggie. He can't be up to any good."

"And Oliver confirmed what Daryl said," Hershel told them as he looked at the two of them. "Sean has always been in love with Cecilia."

"But that's not reason enough to kidnap someone!" Maggie exclaimed.

"Well," Hershel said in a low tone. "Madness might run in the family, his uncle wasn't right in the head either."

"He had never been that stable," Rick admitted. "The kid has always had problems. His mother was Shane's sister so I met him since he was a baby, he went to see several psychiatrists during his life, I never knew what problems he had but he's always been messed up."

"He looked alright all this time," Maggie said. "Not so much after Shane's death but he got over that phase."

"This is my fault, I should have seen it coming," Rick muttered under his breath, but Hershel and Maggie heard him.

"This is no one's fault," Hershel told him. "The kid's smart, he waited until he had the best opportunity and took the chance."

"Do you think he is capable of doing something to Cici?"  
"If what Oliver said it's true and he's in love with her, I doubt it," Rick exclaimed. "He didn't get into so many problems to just kill her, not now that he finally has her. We must hope that. Uh, let's rest, we'll go out earlier tomorrow, we need to find her," Rick said. "Good night."

Hello guys! Who do you think will find Cecilia? Or will Cecilia find her way back to them?

Between, I'm working on a new Daryl/OC video and it's almost done! :)

And on Friday, I will fly to Connecticut! I doubt I will have the chance to update or even check the story so … just because I love you and hate you see you suffer, I will post an extra chapter before leaving. I'm so nervous and excited.

Please wish me luck, I will definitely need it. Some people have trained for +10 years and I have just done it for five, so still a long way to go for me. My opponent is a Mexican girl.


	9. Chapter 09 - Bad to Worse

52\. (09)

"Losing your life is not the worst thing that can happen.

The worst thing is to lose your reason for living."

\- Jo Nesb

Even before sunrise Rick, Michonne , Daryl and Carl, who refused to be left behind, went out of the prison and went looking for Cecilia, this time they went on a car. Rick didn't allow Daryl to drive, not in his state, not when his head was all over the place.

It had been about three hours and as usual they had just found walkers. Carl thought it would be nice to tell Daryl about the C.A Mission, just to cheer him up even when Carl promised he would never tell anyone else about it but maybe Daryl needed to hear it.

"Daryl," Carl softly muttered. "You know that you and Cecilia didn't end up together by pure chance?"

"You don't think it was fate or something like that?" Daryl asked, not looking at Carl but out the window, looking for any sign of Cecilia.

"It was a plan, a mission, whatever you want to call it. Sophia and I always found ways to get you two to be close, to be in the same place," Carl said with a shy but mischievous smile.

"Sophia?" Rick asked in surprise. "Wait, does that mean you were planning this since the very start?"

"Yep, even before you found us after Atlanta, Dad" Carl told him. "And it finally worked, it was part of the mission to lock you in that room the day you got together, so... you're welcome, Daryl."

"You are unbelievable," Daryl said with a small chuckle, Carl felt happy that Daryl had finally smiled, he had finally laughed.

"Or do you remember back at the CDC that you shared the room with her because you couldn't find an empty one? Well, you're welcome again," Carl told him, daring to pat Daryl on the shoulder. "That was all my doing."

"You shared the room with her?" Rick asked surprised.

"Did you have any idea of all of this?" Daryl asked Rick, ignoring his question.

"It's the first time I hear it," Rick said with a proud but surprised expression, he smiled at Daryl who was very shocked at what Carl was saying.

"The two of you liked each other and both were too coward to admit it, you just needed a little push and that was what I did," Carl said proudly. "But I have to admit that once you got together, it got boring because I didn't have to plan anything else."

"Cecilia knows?" Rick asked his son.

"Yes, I told her when she came back, it kind of slipped," Carl said. "I told Michonne so she could help me that day when I locked them in that room. She makes a perfect partner."

"Well, thanks Carl," Michonne said smiling.

"What else did you do?" Daryl asked him with a smile on his thin lips. He was actually proud of Carl.

"Well, one time you were inside Dale's RV and I asked Sophia to tell Cecilia to go in there to look for something, the door 'out of nowhere'," Carl said doing air quotes. "Got stuck and you stayed in the RV for hours, do you remember?"

"Yeah," Daryl said chuckling. "I kept blaming Cecilia for it and she kept shouting at me until the two of us just gave up trying to open the door. I lied down on the couch and since there was nothing else that was comfortable she asked me to make some room for her, I refused, I was an asshole back then, so she actually sat on me. I pretended to be mad and 'tried'." Daryl did air quotes too. "To get her off of me but truth is that I didn't try hard enough and just let her stay there until Dale managed to open the door."

"Did you always like her?" Michonne asked.

"I don't think so but I'm not sure," he said. "But she definitely grew on me very quickly."

Back at the prison Tyreese, Oliver, and two other men prepared themselves to go into the woods to look for Cecilia. Tyreese wasn't that close to her but Sasha was but she was just recovering and couldn't go out.

Maggie was going with a group after lunch, they weren't going to give on her, not yet. After the farm they gave up on her way too quickly and it was a miracle they reunited, they didn't want that to happen again, they needed to find her and soon.

Cecilia's POV.

Today Sean had been extremely nice to me, he even untied my wrists and applied a cream to them so they could heal, of course he threatened me with his gun and the drug made me a bit physically unsteady so I wouldn't make it far if I tried to escape and my brain was a bit foggy too, I was a bit disorientated.

The sight of my wrists made me sick, the skin was so irritated and red and there was blood around them, it wasn't nice and it burnt like hell.

I couldn't see my reflection but Sean had left a bruise on my cheek after he slapped me yesterday and another on my stomach, there were also some bruises on my arms from the times he tightly grabs me from there, but it had come to the point where I had become numb, both, physically and mentally numb.

I might feel the burn on my wrists a bit but I don't care anymore, I did at first but not anymore. I think that the event that triggered this numbness was hearing my mum's voice and knowing she could have helped me and she just left.

And it was like Sean was noticing I was slowly giving up, I knew he could tell. He would have never untie my hands if he had the minimal suspicion that I was going to fight.

A part of me wanted to think I dreamt that my mum came or that the drugs made me hallucinate or something but deep inside of me I knew it was real, I knew it happened.

What sort of made me wake up from this kind of negative trance was his kisses. He had kissed me three times today and every time he did it, I tried to push him away and run from there. The first time he ran after me and grabbed me by my waist, the next time I punched him. I actually fought against him. I didn't even know where I got the mental strength to do it but I did, and I had won. I gave him some good punches and kicks, I even busted his lip. I ran towards the door, I had my hand on the knob of the main door when he shot at the wall in front of me, he said that next time he wouldn't miss. And the next and last time I only heard the click of the gun and that was enough to make me stop dead in my tracks.

"I told you," he said. "Daryl is not going to find you. He won't rescue you, one, because he can't and two, because you don't need to be rescued, right babe?"

I said or did nothing, he had been taunting me ever since I woke up. Daryl this or Rick that, they were all stupid for him, he even made fun of the fact that my mother came to 'visit', like he called it, said it was such a shame she didn't stay longer.

"Come here," he said, putting a hand behind my head as he leant forward.

I grabbed his arm and tried to get it off but he just grabbed my hair, pulling it. I cried out in pain but didn't stop trying to break free and escape. He got super pissed at this. He gripped my hair even tighter before pushing me hard on the floor.

I tried to get up but he just pushed me back down and then flipped me around as he sat on top of me. He grabbed both my hands with one of his and pinned them above my head as he pointed the gun at me with his other hand.

I kept struggling so he hit me on the side of my head with the butt of the gun, my gun. Everything turned black but I was still conscious, barely but still conscious.

I felt him get off of me and I tried to move but my arms and legs gave in, I cursed in my head because this wasn't the time to give up.

Seconds later I felt him dragging me somewhere, I wasn't sure where but it wasn't far. My vision was slowly coming back, it was blurry and dark but I was seeing again. He started tidying my wrists together again and then I heard him walk away, I tried to move my hands, which were still above my head, but I couldn't, he had tied them to something.

I tried harder to adjust my vision and I could make up a nice wooden trunk, that was in the master bedroom. He had dragged me all the way there, no idea why, but as I looked at my hands I found out the answer. My hands were tied to the (),

and that's when I noticed I was on the bed. I don't even remember being lifted, I must have lost consciousness for a few seconds.

I couldn't see it or even touch it but I knew Sean had made a cut where he hit me with the gun, I knew I was bleeding, I could feel the blood running down the side of my face.

I was there on my own for about twenty or thirty minutes until he came back and by then I wasn't so disorientated and my vision was back to normal, my head was killing me, though.

"Hello, babe," he said cheerfully.

He walked towards the bed, leant down and kissed the top of my head first, followed by my forehead, then my nose and lastly my lips. He had a wet cloth on his hand and he started to clean my wound, it hurt but I didn't complain or winced, not even once.

When he was done he threw the cloth to a corner of the room and without warming he took off my shoes, okay, that wasn't good. He gripped the sweatpants and that's when I started kicking with all my might, trying to prevent him from taking them off but they were already a bit too lose so he didn't make such a big effort to take them off.

I was freaking out big time, I started screaming and kicking but he just pointed the gun right between my eyes. He sat on top of me with his legs on each side of me, he started kissing my neck. I kept struggling under him as tears started to roll down my face.

"Please, no, please, Sean, don't do this," I begged him but he kept kissing me.

"Just so you know," he whispered in my ear. "I learnt all the places where I can stab you without killing you, it's incredible what you can learn in your free time and I will not hesitate to do it if you don't behave."

He got one hand under my shirt and ran it up and down my stomach, making me have goosebumps on my skin, with the other he was caressing my cheek. He stopped doing that and started playing with my hair as he moved his lips to mine, just as the other times, I refused to kiss him back, he noticed so he just kissed me harder but still, I didn't kiss back, I would have bit him if he wasn't holding a gun.

Minutes later he sat up straight and just smirked at me as I kept begging him to stop, I knew that smirk couldn't mean anything good and I was right. He grabbed my shirt and since he couldn't just take it off, he ripped it apart, exposing my black sport bra.

"Sean, Sean, don't! I beg you, please!"

Sean leant down again and kissed my neck again, moving to my collarbones and back to my neck where he sucked on, I was sure that would leave a hickey and I felt even more disgusted by myself than ever.

Sean got his hands under my bra on each side of me, starting to lift it very, very slowly but that's when I lost it even more, started screaming like never before, making him actually stop but I kept screaming, I just got locked on. He had to slap me to get me to get back to my senses.

"Fucking hell!" he shouted, standing up, grabbing the cloth again. "The blood fucking turns me off and shut the fuck up!"

Apparently I kept bleeding but that was his freaking fault, what was he whining about? He almost got me unconscious with that hit. I actually shuddered at the thought of me being unconscious right now.

"Just don't!" I repeated it over and over again.

"Babe, I..."

"I'm begging you!"

"Look, I..."

"I'm a virgin!" I yelled at him as more and more tears rolled down my face. "Don't do this to me! I beg you!"

Sean just stared at me in disbelief, he didn't move as I kept crying and begging him to stop and then when he snapped out of his trance he laughed.

"Do you actually think you are going to fool me with that?" he exclaimed. "Do you expect me to believe that you and Daryl never..."

"We didn't!" I assured him and it was true. "We have never had, I promise, I swear!"

"What about before the change?" I just shook my head at him as I kept crying.

Truth was that due to the domestic abuse I lived throughout most of my life, I suffered from really low self-esteem and I was very self-conscious about my body. I never felt pretty or attractive or good enough and I was scared of just being used.

That was until I met Daryl, he made me feel beautiful and worthy. He made me feel happiness again and honestly, it was me who wanted to take the next step, it had been me who had been trying to do it for around a month or a month and a half but he had been the one that just stops things when they start getting too far.

I ignored it at first, just playing along with him and pretending I wasn't hurt, that I didn't feel rejected but I eventually couldn't take it anymore and I confronted him. He claimed that we weren't ready, that I wasn't ready, that we should wait a bit longer. He just didn't understand the way I had always felt about my body and how big the step I took was to feel comfortable around him.

"Are you serious?" Sean asked me.

"Yeah, I swear," I cried.

"Swear on your mother, on Daryl," he exclaimed. "No, better yet, swear on your sister."

"Yeah," I muttered. "I swear on So – Sophia, on all of them. It's true!"

Sean started pacing in front of me, he no longer was wearing his shirt. He had a big tattoo on his back that I had never noticed before, I couldn't make sure exactly what it was but it looked like a symbol.

"I prefer you to kill me right here, right now," I exclaimed trying to stop crying. "Hell, I would gladly kill myself if I prevent this from happening."

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" he shouted as he kept pacing, avoiding to look at me.

I wasn't sure how being a virgin just made him stop, what did that mean for him? I begged for several minutes and it was like he couldn't even hear me but I was very thankful that made him stop.

Sean walked to where I was, got on top of me but this time he didn't kissed me or anything, which I feared, he actually was untidying me from the bed, making me cry from relief, during the whole time he avoided eye-contact, he actually avoided looking at any part of me.

Sean stood up and then grabbed me by one of my wrists, making me wince from the pain, but he didn't notice he just kept pulling me with him. He took me to the room I had been these days and pushed me inside, I actually stumbled and fell to the ground. He slammed the door shut and ran down the stairs, where I heard him throwing thing around and some things breaking but I couldn't care less, except that the noise could attract walkers. Even if my screams from earlier didn't attract walkers, this for sure would.

Meanwhile, I stayed on the floor, I just crawled to a corner and curled into a ball, I just couldn't keep the tears from falling. All my life I hated my father for the things he did to me, I didn't hate anyone else and I thought I could never hate someone as much or more than him but I was wrong, Sean had earned that place and all I wanted was to stab him multiples times, make him suffer and then finally, feed him to the walkers, so he could have a slow, painful death.

All the events from today and all the crying had left me both mental and physically exhausted, I was drained so I just fell asleep on the floor without even noticing.

I woke up with sweat all over my body and tears in my eyes. I wasn't sure what was worst now, reality or my subconscious. The dreams were just as bad as my reality, I just couldn't escape.

I hugged my knees and cried, I felt so pathetic and weak for all the crying lately but it was like once I started I just couldn't stop.

As I rocked myself I started feeling chills, which was weird. The weather was supposed to be warm even now at night but I was still just in my underwear, maybe that was it.

I stood up and as I did, I noticed my whole body ached, that wasn't normal but I quickly contributed it to all the kicking and struggling I did earlier today, it must be that.

I was really out of breath and just standing up made me pant and my vision turned black for a few seconds, once I recovered I opened the doors of the closet to find something to wear, I grabbed some light blue coloured jeans and tried them on, this room belonged to a thirteen or fourteen year old girl so I really doubted these would fit me, my sister was twelve and her clothes were too small for me but surprisingly they were just perfect.

Actually, once I made sure they fit me, I took them off again and changed my underwear, I hadn't changed it in five days and that was really disgusting. I grabbed the first panties I saw, which were pink with little hearts on them and as quickly as I could I put them on followed by the jeans.

Then I grabbed a dark blue shirt, this girl was a swimmer so I ended up grabbing one of her active shirts that said in the back 'TEAM USA' on the top and on the bottom it said 'FLETCHER', so at least I knew her last name.

I also grabbed a jumper and put it on, I was even shaking from how cold I was, it was so weird. I took off my socks and put on not one pair but two, to warm my very cold feet and then put on a pair of boots, these were a bit big for me but they had to do for now, I usually use sneakers to be able to run faster but the rest usually use boots, in case a walker tries to scratch or bite them there.

I sat on the bed now and I couldn't help but notice I was feeling weird, I was still shaking and my body ached so much and I just didn't feel... normal.

But what made my heart skip a beat was a sound I hadn't heard in a while. I tiptoed to the window and looked down, I saw five walkers outside the house, so it looks like the noise Sean made earlier and my screams did attract walkers and all I could hope was that there weren't going to be any more of them.

Sean slowly opened the door of the room, luckily it didn't creak or anything. He brought his index finger to his lips and he walked to me, slowly opening the window when he got close enough. I silently shook my head at him but he just kept opening it.

Then he showed me what he had in one hand, it was a white cup that read 'I love coffee', he threw it out the window as far as he could manage but I still could hear it shattering and the walkers did as well.

The five of them slowly turned around and started walking to where the sound had come from. I smiled as I saw them walking away but then frowned, remembering Sean was practically next to me.

I could try to escape now, I was weak but I could make it. I could see Sean didn't have a gun with him, he probably had the knife but I could evade it, maybe. The bad part was that there were walkers outside and going out now without any kind of weapon would be extremely stupid, I considered my options too much and I lost the opportunity.

Sean walked to the door again, silently closing it and I could hear him going down the stairs. I sat on the bed, trying to decide if I should try to sneak out and hide inside a car or attempt to run as far as possible or get inside another house or grab something from here and attack Sean, I really wanted to do it.

I think that the desire to make him suffer was what made me stop from attempting to run when I had the chance. I just didn't want to escape now, I wanted to torture Sean, it was sick and evil and not me but I couldn't refuse that I desired it.

I had lied down on the bed, ignoring my stomach grumbling, lost in my thoughts when I coughed. I put my hand over my mouth and didn't give it importance. I coughed a second time and just ignored it.

Minutes later I coughed for a third time and that's when I made the connection. I was really cold even when it was supposed to be warm, my body was aching and I wasn't feeling well and I just started coughing.

"Oh shit!" I exclaimed as I closed my eyes tightly.

My heart starting beating really fast, I tried to think of other possible explanations to what was happening to me but they were a bit stupid and unprovable. I coughed again.

I walked towards the door, grabbed the knob and to my surprise the door wasn't locked. I slowly went down the stairs, a part of the house I had barely seen. Sean spotted me and in no time he pointed the gun at me.

"There are walkers outside, you are not stupid enough to shoot," I told him with a smirk. "But I'm not here to try to escape, I'm here to tell you something."

"What is it?" he spat.

"Sean, I think I got it."

"Got what?" he asked confused.

"The virus," I mumbled, saying it out loud made it even more real. "I'm sick."

And as to confirm it, I started coughing right there, this time it took me a while to stop. He shook his head in refusal and just accused me of lying.

"That's another one of your tricks, huh? Well, this time it won't work."

"I really wish I would be pretending right now but I'm not," I said and then bit my lower lip.

"You weren't exposed!" he exclaimed quite loudly. "That's why the two us went into quarantine, right? Good try but I won't fall for it.

"I was exposed, we all were, it was in the air. The virus came from the pigs and I work in the pig pen almost every day," I told him, having to stop because I started coughing again. "Mika and Lizzie hugged me, Lizzie got sick not long after that."

Sean really didn't believe me, I already looked like shit, I knew I must look horrible, so getting sick probably didn't make me look any worse, not for now at least. Nevertheless he walked to me and I instinctively backed away from him. He grabbed me by my elbow and with his other hand touched my forehead.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed. "You have a fever."

"I said I was sick!" I told him.

"Let's not panic! Maybe it isn't the same thing from the prison, maybe it's something else, a normal flu, you know?"

"What if it isn't a normal flu? And even if it is, a normal flu can kill these days!" I exclaimed, freaking out, only trying to keep my voice down because of the walkers outside. "Sean, I need to get back to the prison."

"No!"

"I don't want to die!"

"We'll think of something!" he exclaimed as he started pacing the room. "Let's look for medicine here."

The two of us went upstairs, to the master bedroom. I shuddered as I walked in but I tried to push the memories aside. We looked in the drawers and in the bathroom and luckily we found some bottles with pills.

With the help of a flashlight, Sean read the names on the bottles and found something useful or he claimed so.

"This will help with the fever," he told me giving me one pill first and then handed me the whole container. "They are supposed to be taken every eight hours, okay?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

I took the pill, just like that, without water, then Sean led me to 'my' room and helped me lie down on the bed, getting me under the covers, I was so cold.

"We'll see how you are in the morning," he told me as he walked back to the door.

"Sean?" I muttered, I was shivering now. "If I get really bad, like coughing up blood and all that, are you willing to take me to the prison?"

"We'll see tomorrow, good-night."

He closed the door but not completely, leaving a tiny gap opened. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep as I shivered harder.

This just couldn't get any worse.

Guys, as promised here's the second chapter of the week. I hope you liked it and please leave many comments (at least a happy face) so when I get back I see all the comments.

Please tell me what you think will happen in the next chapter and my daryl/OC video is finished, I just need to edit the colouring and that would be it. But if you want I can later post the link to it when I post it on youtube :) Just if you guys want, if not I will post the link on the next chapter once I'm back :P

So, I guess this is good-bye for two weeks. :) I will leave tomorrow and will arrive at CT at midnight. Have a great weekend guys! :)


	10. Chapter 10 - Evil Inside

"Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can.

And just when you think it can't get any better, it can."

– Nicholas Sparks, At First Sight

 _I opened my eyes and noticed it was just starting to get light, I grunted and closed my eyes again, not wanting to get out of bed any time soon. I turned over to my left side and unconsciously snuggled closer to Daryl, burying my head in his warm chest._

 _This was the third time we had slept in the same bed, the first and second time it was a bit awkward and none of us wanted to invade the other's personal space, this time it was not that different but this morning was colder than usual and I was more asleep than awake, I did it out of instinct._

 _Seconds later I felt him wrapping an arm around my waist slowly pulling me closer to him as a smile crept on my lips, enjoying this moment._

" _Cecilia! Cecilia!" Glenn yelled from down the stairs, I only moved closer to Daryl, not wanting to stand up as I groaned._

 _I heard footsteps going up the stairs, probably stopping by my cell and obviously not finding me there._

 _Glenn and I were supposed to go on a run very early today, just like good old times when it was only the two of us, no Maggie and no Daryl._

 _I really wanted to go, I was looking forward to but the sooner I get out of the bed the sooner we get done with the run and the sooner I have to work in the pig pen, which I had been trying to avoid for the last week and that also meant I wouldn't be in Daryl's arms any longer._

" _I'm sorry to interrupt but we have to go," Glenn said as he stood by the door frame, finally finding me. He didn't look awkward but he had a mischievous grin on his lips. "Grab your things and let's go, now!"_

 _Grunting about having to leave this warm bed and Daryl's side, I turned again, so I was on my back, I sat up but Daryl only tightened his grip around me, it wasn't strong enough to not allow me to go but mentally, I was not capable of getting out of that bed, I wanted to lie down again and stay there all day long with him._

" _Glenn and I won't take long," I whispered to him, but mostly to convince myself so I could finally get out of bed. "We'll be back before you know it."_

 _I leant down and softly kissed Daryl's forehead, I tried to leave again but he wouldn't let go of me. I heard him mumble that I needed to kiss his lips in order to be allowed to go. I smiled and did so, pecking his lips, I kissed him a bit longer and as he was distracted I removed his arm around me and finally got out of bed._

" _If anything happens to you I'm going to kill that chinaman," he mumbled, half opening one eye._

" _He's Korean," I exclaimed._

" _I know," he muttered, smiling slightly. "I just like calling him that."_

" _Do you want me to bring you something?"_

" _Just concentrate on getting back," he said as he sat up, rubbed his eyes and ran his hands through his long hair, messing it even move and somehow making him look even hotter._

" _Alright, I'll see you later."_

 _It took almost a week to convince Daryl to let me go on this run without him, he thought it was really risky to let me go with just Glenn, but we managed at the start, when we barely had any experience with this kind of life, we could manage now._

 _This run wasn't to look for anything important, not really. We were going to look for things to entertain us, board games, puzzles, books, colouring books for the kids and other stuff like that, it was Glenn's idea._

 _We all had tasks to do and we maintained ourselves busy but we really needed things to do in our free time, something else than just talk to the others, make up stupid stories, or just exercise like Michonne and I do for around two hours daily, the adults, we can get used to it, live our lives like this, at least for now but the little kids can't and now we have around eight kids, they need to go back to being kids._

" _Can I tell you something?" Glenn asked as we were inside the store where we were taking the board games from._

" _Of course," I told him._

" _Before all of this, I delivered pizzas, you know that, and I was around pizzas all the time, the smell of grease made me nauseated and I would eat anything but pizza," he told me. "But right now I would give anything to eat a single slice, one with everything, cheese, jam, tomato, basil, just everything, How sad is that?"_

" _When I moved out I gained some weight, all my life I had been thin so being like that was... it just made me feel awful, so I spent months dieting, skipping dinner, eating little, not eating pizza, or anything like that, actually the last week before all of this happened I was with my mum and I broke the diet and ate everything I wanted," I said with a sad smile. "I only kept thinking how much weight I had gained back and I would go back to the diet afterwards but now, I have no regrets of that week. I'm actually glad I had it because look at our lives now, we barely eat, at first we even went days without eating and it doesn't matter if you are fat or not, except that if you are fat, you can't run for long but it's not like it's important to be thin."_

" _There are so many things I miss," Glenn told me. "French fries, chocolate cakes, Korean food in general, a good cappuccino, Ital..."_

" _Shut up, Glenn!" I muttered. "You are making me hungry!"_

" _I'm sorry," he said as he chuckled. "I'm hungry too."_

" _Let's hurry then," I said. "We might be back by lunch if we leave soon."_

" _We hadn't had time alone for so long now, I miss talking to my best friend," he said. "There are things I want to tell you, about Maggie."_

" _So, that's why you wanted to go on this run? So we could talk?"_

" _Partly," he admitted. "It's hard to get you away from Daryl's side."_

" _That's not true!" I exclaimed, chuckling. "At least not harder than separate you from Maggie."_

" _I guess," Glenn said, blushing slightly. "Cici?"_

" _Yeah?"_

" _I'm glad you are with us again," Glenn told me. "Now, let's talk, okay?"_

" _I'm glad I found you all," I said with a smile. "I'm dying to know what you want to tell me, so let's start."_

As the hours I passed I got worse. The coughing had become more frequent and if it wasn't for the pills we found I would have a high fever.

I was lucky to sleep through the night but I woke up around 7:00 and since then I hadn't been able to go back to sleep, which I wanted more than anything, at least if I was sleeping I didn't feel like shit.

My body was aching really bad, my head hurt, I couldn't stop coughing, I had a fever and despite wearing a very warm and thick sweater and being under the covers I felt extremely cold, I couldn't stop shivering.

I made the decision to just leave, I had to or I would die. I counted to three, pushed the covers away, put on a pair of boots and went downstairs as I stumbled on the stairs. I didn't even looked for anything, I just headed to the door.

"Where the fuck do you think you are going?" Sean yelled at me.

"Home," I simply replied. "I need the antibiotics they have."

"First of all you don't know if they got the antibiotics or not," he exclaimed as he rushed to the door and stood in front of me, blocking my way out. "You don't even know where you are, you could go in the wrong direction and you wouldn't even know."

"Then take me, I need to go."

"No!" he exclaimed, grabbed me by elbow and pulled me away from the door, pushing me into the couch of the living room.

Sean opened a can of soup and gave it to me, I wasn't hungry, not at all, but Sean forced me to eat it, it didn't even taste good.

"What did you do, Sean?" I asked him. "You once said your parents sent you to live with Shane as a punishment for something you had done."

"I have forgotten all my life before the change, it's easier that way. What I did or didn't do, it's not important anymore, nothing is."

"It is important, it changed who you were, it must be important," I said but had to stop mid-sentence because I started coughing again.

"I hurt someone, there wasn't enough evidence to send me to jail but my parents didn't want to take any risk, they sent me with my uncle right away," he told me. "It didn't matter to them if I was guilty or not, they just took actions. But truth is that I did it."

Sean stood up and walked away from me, starting to pace the room as I finished the soup. Sean ran his hands through his now not so long hair. His hair got below his shoulder at one point, almost to the middle of his back but now it barely reached his chin, he cut it around a month ago.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you, for what I almost did to you," he said as he kept pacing and glanced at me every once in a while. "It's just that it's like my brain shuts down and I do things without controlling my actions and I just snap out when it's too late. I don't know why that happens to me, it's like the evil part takes over and I can't do anything about it."

"You're not evil," I whispered. "And you can show yourself by taking me to the prison."

"No, I won't do that because I do want you here, I want you for myself and because once I see Rick, I won't be able to control myself and I'm going to shoot him."

"You can control it, Sean," I said, finally finishing my soup, leaving the empty can on the table. "We can still tell them we were followed by walkers and were forced to stay away for a while, show yourself you're not evil."

"But I am," he told. "I killed someone, that's what I did. That's why I was sent to my uncle's plus a drug addiction."

I looked at him in disbelief, I never really expected that answer. He avoided looking at me, as he resumed pacing, while I brought my knees up and hugged them.

"I didn't mean to... she just made me so... so angry and it just happened," he told me. "She was my girlfriend and she was breaking up with me, I held her hostage in this place, nobody knew about it and I just lost control."

I started coughing really bad then, Sean stopped pacing and looked at me, wondering if he should help me in some way or just stay away from me.

I saw him taking a step towards me, I raised my hand and stopped him. He shouldn't be close to me, he could get sick and I needed him healthy plus I wanted him as far away from me as possible.

I hated him for what he made me go through yesterday, I was only acting sweet and nice so I could convince him to let me go but knowing he killed someone before the turn, knowing he was actually messed up, probably all his life, made me more nervous and more anxious about leaving. I needed to leave as soon as I could.

More time passed in which none of us said anything at all, the only sound came from my coughing and unfortunately that attracted some walkers, we heard the snarling and there was banging on the front door and wall.

Sean could see there were only two of them so he grabbed his knife and walked to the front door, opening slightly to check the situation first, as soon as he was out of my sight, I stood up and looked for a way out.

I checked every window but there were bars in them and I wasn't small enough to pass through them. I looked for a back door, the only one I found was the one that led to the garden which was surrounded by a tall white fence.

I didn't care, I ran outside and tried to climb and go over it, being sick and this weak didn't help but I wasn't going to give up.

"Come on, Cecilia," I whispered to myself. "You can do this."

I almost got my whole body up when my arms started shaking and they just gave up. I grunted as I stood up and tried again. I got a leg over the other side of the fence when I felt myself being pulled back and a second later I was thrown to the ground.

"What the fuck, Cici?" Sean yelled at me, he was holding his knife, which was bloody. "What the fuck!?"

"I will die, Sean!" I screamed, sitting up. "I will die if I don't get there and the sooner the better."

Angrily, Sean grabbed the collar of the sweater I was wearing and pulled me up fast, taking me inside the house. I didn't even fight back or show any kind of resistance, I just allowed him to.

He pushed me into the couch and I just stayed the way I landed, I was so close to succeed, I was so disappointed at it and I didn't have any strength to fight him. Sean glared at me as he got his gun out and pointed it at me.

"I'll die anyway, "I muttered cynically. "You better do it now and prevent me from suffering a slow, painful death and better yet, if you shoot me in the brain, I won't turn."

Sean didn't look touched by my words, he almost pulled the trigger but with a loud scream out of frustration, he lowered the gun. If I was going to die, I rather him to put a bullet through my skull than die from this virus, with blood running out of my ears and eyes and most likely turning afterwards.

Sean grabbed my arm again and this time he took me all the way upstairs to my room, closing the door as he stormed back down the stairs.

I lied down on the bed, coughing every once in a while, if only I could escape or convince Sean I needed the antibiotics, maybe he didn't believe it was that bad and maybe it wasn't yet but if people died from this back at the prison, I was going to get really bad and soon.

As I was on the bed I tried to think why my mother didn't even ask about me, didn't even ask who was part of the group that Sean said he was with, maybe she didn't want to hear I died, maybe it was too much for her to handle, just maybe.

Another thing that I found weird was that she didn't offer Sean to take him back to the prison, she was going there, right? Maybe not right away but she was, so why didn't she told him she could take him with her?

I felt like I was getting a fever again so I grabbed the bottle and took one of the pills. I looked at a clock on the night table that still worked and it read 15:13, yeah, it was time for another pill.

Today was the sixth day since we left the prison and I was sure I wasn't going to last another five, not with this virus, if I was going to die anyway, I only hope I would be dead by tonight, less suffering and less time with Sean.

As I shivered under the covers I started thinking about happy memories, just good times, from both, before and after the turn.

My first memory was from when I was about twelve and Sophia was five or so, our parents took us to Orlando and we went to Disney and other theme parks. It was a very happy trip, we even went with dad's brother and his three kids, two were older than me, Allison and Jeffrey, and one was just two months younger than me, Dylan, so I had someone to go on the games with.

Our family was just like any other family at least we seemed to be, the only difference was that my father abused us but at the eyes of everyone we were just like anybody else. We went on trips, went out to eat on Sundays, we had a nice house, two cars, my dad had a good job and my mum was just a normal housewife, I was enrolled in sports after class, Sophia was the sweet girl of the family and I was the problematic child, the rebel, but there's one in every family, right?

The next memory was when Glenn and I met and I just wouldn't take a no for an answer, I was going to go on that run. I just wasn't going to stay in camp with my parents, just doing nothing. Glenn felt extremely awkward and nervous but we bonded quickly, which was weird for me. Ever since I got into high school it took me a lot of time and effort to make friends and trust people, while in elementary school I was actually popular.

Then I remembered the first time Daryl actually complimented me. He said the freckles on my face were cute but my dimple was what drove him crazy. Actually, that wasn't that long ago, we were talking about nothing in particular and then he just blurted it out, like if he had been wanting to say it for a while and couldn't keep it in any longer.

I also thought about some time after I forgave my mum for good. I had had a bad day and Daryl wasn't around and it wasn't him who I needed anyway. My mum was talking to Rick, Sasha, and Samuel, the father of Mika and Lizzie, when I just approached them and wrapped my arms around my mum, burying my head in the crook of her neck. It felt good when she hugged me back and took me back inside to her cell and helped me lie on her bed, where she lied next to me and I told her what was wrong as she caressed the top of my head and somehow made everything better, like a mother should do.

My next memory was of me and Carl, Glenn had got us a soccer ball a few days ago and we finally got the time to use it. We were in the courtyard, passing the ball and then other people joined us. There were walkers outside but we had killed most of them earlier so we ignored those and we enjoyed the moment.

My memory was interrupted when I started coughing again and this time it was quite bad. I sat up and looked for some water but I had none here. I coughed harder, covering my mouth with my hand. I breathed hard when I finally stopped, resting my back against the wall.

I looked down and my heart just skipped a bit. I raised my hand to my eyes to see it better, not wanting to believe it but there were tiny blood drops on it.

Without thinking it twice, I got out of bed and ran down the stairs, where I found Sean sitting on the couch, looking at an old Playboy magazine, I walked to him, yanked the magazine from him and threw it to the ground and showed him my hand.

"You have to let me go!" I exclaimed, trying to keep my voice down in case there were walkers ready. "If you don't, you better kill me now."

He stared at my hand with concern as he kept shaking his head in disbelief. All this time he had told me I never got the virus from the prison, that I was going to be fine, he was in denial.

"It's too late," he told me, it was almost 16:00 and it was probably going to get dark before making it to the prison, if we even make it there. "It will get dark soon."

"I don't care," I said. "I may not make it through the night. Patrick wasn't even sick that morning and he died during the night. I don't know how much time I have left and I better leave while I can walk."

"What if you get better?"

"For fuck's sake, Sean! Wake up! This is bad, okay? This is really bad. I'm sick and if I don't get antibiotics I'm going to die, do you understand that? Now, if you really do love me like you say you do, let me go!" I shouted, losing my patience.

Sean's gaze went from me to the front door, and then to the gun that was in his hands. I didn't have time for this, so I just walked to the door, ready to leave, I didn't care anymore, I was going to die anyway.

"Cici!" he shouted, jumping from the leather couch and going after me. "Alright, we are going but just give me a second."

I stared at him with wide eyes, I never thought it would be this easy, I was actually very surprised. Sean went for my gun, another knife and his backpack and while I waited for him, I coughed again, I looked down at my hands, kind of hoping to see it clear of anything but there was blood again, I took deep breaths to calm myself and not freak out about it.

When Sean joined me again, I opened the door and the two of us left the house, I had nothing on me but Sean had a knife and a gun, I asked him if I could have my gun or knife back and he just told me to not push it so I said nothing else.

At first, every step was really draining. I was weak for lots of reasons, I was sick, barely eaten or drunk anything, I was drugged constantly the first couple of days and my body ached so bad, all I wanted to do was going back to the bed, under the covers but as we kept going, adrenaline filled my veins and I felt better, at least for a while.

During the first two hours we came across fifteen walkers, but not at the same time. I killed two of them, I found a stick on the ground and stabbed them with it and besides using it as a weapon I also used it as a cane. We had gotten into the dense part of the woods just ten minutes before night fell and having another kind of support was nice, plus it was really hard to see.

"Here," Sean told me, handing me a flashlight.

It was scary to be in the woods like this, I could barely see anything, with or without flashlight and without having a proper weapon. Sean killed more walkers we came across but luckily we didn't stumble upon a big group of them.

"If I had my gun I..."

"I won't give you your gun, babe," he said quickly and I just sighed.

The two of us tried to be extremely silent but my coughing was only getting worse and sometimes quite loud, I tried to do it silently but it wasn't really working.

Another two or three hours passed and by now I was pretty exhausted, I had probably run out of adrenaline or I had just used all my energy left. I leant against a tree as I panted and tried to catch my breath, I felt so sick right now. I probably had fever, I should have grabbed the bottle of pills before leaving the house but I was so worried that I was coughing up blood that it didn't even cross my mine and I was regretting it now.

I coughed again and this time not only small droplets of blood came out of my mouth. I was almost like throwing it up now, it was quite a lot and I panicked. I used the flashlight to see my blood on the ground and it almost made me puke for real.

"Come on!" I said quickly, cleaning my lips and jaw with my sleeve and started walking again.

A few minutes later, before my brain could process it, I heard some noises followed by a voice, Sean grabbed me quickly, putting a hand around my collarbones, holding me tightly against him, the only thing I could do was put my hands over his forearm and tried to pull it off but Sean was way stronger than me, especially now.

Then a light blinded me for a seconds, making me close my eyes and look away. I also heard my name being called by different people, I smiled but it didn't last more than a couple of seconds because then Sean put the gun right on my temple.

"Sean," Rick said in a soft tone. "What – what happened to her?"

I could barely see the scene before me but I could make out six figures, one was Rick, of course, another was Glenn and the only female was Michonne, who was holding someone by their arm, I couldn't see well the other people's faces.

"If you move any closer, I promise I'll pull the trigger," he exclaimed, pressing the gun against my skin with more force than before.

"We don't want that, Sean," Rick said, he had lots of experience in situations like these, he was a cop and probably dealt with this more than a few times. "I'll put my gun away."

"Let go of her, you bastard!" I heard Daryl shouting, he was the one Michonne was restraining, probably preventing him from doing anything stupid. Now she was telling him things in his ear, trying to calm him down, another person was on his other side, doing the same as Michonne, controlling him.

"Daryl, I'll handle this," Rick told him, glancing at him but then focused on Sean again.

Sean had told me that if I moved he would kill me but I started coughing again, Sean screamed at me to shut up and stay still but I couldn't. Blood came out of my mouth again and I got white spots in my vision, I was getting weaker and weaker.

"Is she sick?" I heard Glenn asking, I could tell he was really scared.

"We need antibiotics!" Sean told them. "You have to let us go after that."

"It's not as simple as that," Rick told him. "Once you are sick it takes a few days to get better, she would have to stay at least three or four days, Sean, otherwise she could die."

"You let us go! You heard me?" Sean shouted, pointing the gun at Rick for a second before pointing it back at me.

"Alright, alright," Rick said, trying to keep calm. "I just want the best for her, for the two of you. How long has she been sick?"

"Since yesterday," he told Rick. "Now, we need the antibiotics! Why don't you bring it to us?"

"I can't do that, Sean," Rick said. "The prison is at least an hour away, she might die before I make it back and it's so dangerous to just stay here, Cecilia can barely walk, much less fight."

And as on cue, I started coughing once again and this time my legs buckled under my weight, I would have fallen if Sean wouldn't have been holding me. He almost let go of me but instead of that, he stopped pointing his gun at me and held me with both arms, slowly kneeling down with me in his arms, setting me on top of his lap.

I heard a loud grunt and soon Sean's grip loosened around me until he let go completely, letting me fall on the cold hard ground.

"No!" I heard Rick yelling.

"I didn't kill him, don't worry. I'm still not done with that piece of shit."

I lost consciousness for a few seconds, I knew because when I opened my eyes Daryl was crouched over me, shaking me slightly to get me to wake up.

"Cecilia! Cecilia!"

"Daryl," I muttered in between coughs. "I thought – I never – would see you – again."

"What did that monster did to you?" he asked me, the concern was obvious in his now dark blue eyes. I had never seen that look on him.

Daryl put one of his arms under my upper back and the other under my knees, lifting me up from the ground and as he did, my head moved to the other side and I saw Sean on the ground, screaming out in pain, he had an arrow on his left shoulder, with Michonne and Glenn next to him, holding him down.

"I'll take her to the prison, we can't lose any more time!" Daryl shouted at everyone but mostly at Rick.

"I'll go with you," he said. "If you get tired, I can carry her the rest of the way or if we come across some walkers I'll kill them."

"I'll go with you two," a man named Alan said, we found him months ago and he was good with weapons.

"Okay. The three of you," he said to Michonne, Glenn and Tyreese. "Take that garbage back to the prison, there is no need to be gentle."

Daryl had already started jogging by the time Rick finished talking, the only thing I could do was wrapping my arms around Daryl's neck, but I was too weak it wouldn't be of much help if he in fact let me fall to the ground.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed but Daryl's arms and legs were getting tired, Rick noticed and offered to take me for a while but Daryl refused the first five times, until he had to stop because I was slipping from his arms. Rick didn't ask this time, he took me from Daryl's arm and started jogging, Daryl and Alan caught up with Rick soon.

"How bad is she?" I could hear Alan asking Daryl behind Rick and me.

"I'm not sure," Daryl told him. "She has a cut on the side of her head, she has a big bruise on her face and probably more all over her body and she keeps coughing."

We'll get there soon," Rick said to both men and me. "Just hang on, Cici."

There were some walkers not far from there, Daryl shot two and Alan killed the other two with a big machete, as Rick just kept going.

"Rick, Rick!" Daryl exclaimed. "Give her to me, we'll be there in less than ten minutes."

Rick was only a few years older than Daryl and wasn't as strong as him. Rick was in good shape because of his job as a policeman but he had to admit he had gotten tired after about twenty minutes of carrying me so he allowed Daryl to take me in his arms again, this time his pace was faster, he wanted to get back to the prison as soon as possible.

As we approached the prison, Rick and Alan killed some of the walkers that were by the fence and had noticed us, inside, Maggie was waiting for them and opened the gate quickly, allowing Daryl to pass through first, and then Rick and Alan got in. The other three with Sean weren't on sight yet so Maggie was going to stay there to open the gate for them but Alan offered to take her place, knowing Maggie was closer to me.

"Hershel! Hershel!" Daryl and Rick screamed at the top of their lungs as soon as they got past the fence. But it wasn't Hershel who walked out of Block C, it was Carl.

"He's in D!" he exclaimed loudly. "You found her?"

Carl's face turned into a happy expression when he saw me in Daryl's arms but soon it turned to a worried one when he noticed I was barely awake and there was blood around my mouth and my whole appearance wasn't that good.

I attempted a smile at the young boy to calm him down but I wasn't sure if it worked or not because right after I did it, I felt my eyes getting very heavy as I lost consciousness.

Hello guys! I'm back! Well, she was finally found and reunited with Daryl!  
My trip was great, I had such a good time and I wish it wouldn't have ended so quickly :(

Anyway, tell me your thoughts of this chapter and what will happen in the next, thank you all for keep reading this and commenting and voting! :)


	11. Chapter 11 - Clean

"It's only when someone really shows their vulnerability to another,

and is accepted, flaws and all, can he or she really feel loved."

\- Brownell Landrum, A Chorus of Voices: DUET stories Volume III - Adult Version

When I woke up I was on a bed, a blanket was covering my body up to my ribs. I was wearing the same clothes except they had taken off my sweater and my shoes.

"Cecilia," someone muttered softly and right after I felt warm lips on my forehead.

Daryl was sat next to me on the edge of the bed, holding one of my hands with both of his until I opened my eyes, when I did, he used his other hand to delicately caress the top of my head.

"Hershel injected you some of the antibiotics, you'll be fine," Daryl informed me. "He cleaned your wound on your face. He checked for some more on your body but he didn't find anything that bad."

"You saw it too?" I asked him weakly, I was ashamed of how my body looked, full of bruises, mostly on my arms, shoulders and face.

"No," he said and I knew he was being honest. "But he told me there were a lot of bruises, I'm so sorry."

Daryl kissed my forehead again as his eyes filled with tears, making me want to cry as well. This wasn't his fault, it was Sean's and if anything, it was mine too, for being so naïve and stupid.

"For what? You have nothing to do with this."

"I should have protected you," he said. "I should have let you come with me on that run, I should have been here for you."

"You can't always be here, Daryl. This is not on you. Sean's messed up, he planned this for months."

"How exactly did he do it?"

"What?"

"Got you away, Oliver said something," Daryl said as he looked right into my eyes. "Said you and Sean were told by Rick to go check the snares but Rick never told him that."

"I figured. I was so anxious to go out that I agreed to go with him and I saw Rick talking to Sean before he left so I assumed it was true," I said, remembering that day. "I should have stayed, why couldn't I see it?"

"This isn't your fault, he's a psychopath! He played with your head, he was... cunning," he told me. "What did he do to you, Cecilia?"

I just shook my head, not wanting to remember it or think about it, I looked down and saw my hands, there were bandages around my wrists like if I had made cuts on them, I knew how badly hurt they were due to the rope around them for days. I bit my bottom lip and took deep breaths, trying to stop some tears to come out of my icy blue eyes. Besides, everything was too embarrassing, I wasn't sure if I could tell Daryl.

"Alright, let's start little by little," he told me in a soft tone. "What happened to you in your face, that cut?" he said pointing to the side of my head. "What did he do?"

"He... he, uh, he hit me with the butt of the gun," I told him weakly, letting a tear falling down my face, which I wiped away quickly, as I remembered why he did that but I refused to tell Daryl, even when he asked, I just shook my head at him.

Short flashbacks of the last six days went through my head as it were a short movie. I closed my eyes tightly and shook my head but the images wouldn't go away, especially the events that followed that blow to my head.

"Cecilia, Cecilia!"

"I want to shower," I told him instantly as I opened my eyes and looked down at my body, I felt dirty, as never before.

"Hershel ran a towel through your arms, shoulders and face, I don't think it would be a good idea to take a shower now."

"I want to take a shower, Daryl."

"Alright, I'll take you."

Daryl put an arm around my waist and helped me up and continued to help me as he took me down to the showers. It was still dark outside which either meant that only some hours had passed or that more than a day had passed.

I stood in front of the shower, hesitantly to take my clothes off, not because of Daryl but because I was scared of seeing my own body.

"I won't go but I can turn if you want," he told me, I just shook my head at him.

"It's not that, it's just... my body looks awful. I don't want you to see it like this, _I_ don't want to see it."

"I don't care how it looks, Cecilia, let's just do it so we can get it over with."

Daryl didn't allow me to wash my hair so he helped me put it in a high bun just before taking my shirt off, but once it was off, Daryl took a deep breath, calming himself but I could see the anger in his eyes. He said he didn't care but of course he did, my body was just a small view of what happened this last week.

I had lots of bruises on my sides and on my back from the multiple times Sean pushed me down and I had more on my arms from all the times he gripped me and pulled me around, the worst though was the one on my face, when he slapped me and the one next to it, around the cut, from when he hit me with the gun.

I wanted to cry, I hadn't looked like this since I moved out of my parents' house and even then, my dad never touched my face, he was smart, I had to go to school and people would notice, my mum was another story though.

I slowly unbuttoned my jeans and Daryl help me pulled them off. I was still very sick and when I coughed I still got blood coming from my mouth but it wasn't as much as before.

My legs weren't that bad as the upper part of my body, I had small, faint bruises on different parts of them but the worst were my knees, the bruises on them were purple and bigger, I probably got them from all the times he pushed me down and I fell on them.

I kept my underwear on as I stepped under the cold water. Daryl handed me the soap and I didn't waste a second to scrub my whole body, I started slow and gently but as I remembered what happened I started to get rough, forcefully scrubbing my stomach first and then my legs, like if the dirt was glued to my body and just wouldn't get off and without noticing I started crying.

"Cecilia, Cecilia!" Daryl exclaimed as he grabbed my left hand stopping me from keep scrubbing my body. I allowed myself to collapse down to the floor and I just stayed there, crying on the floor, bringing my knees closer and hugging them as water kept falling on me.

Daryl knelt next to me and wrapped his arms around me, getting soaked in the process, I just cried in his arms even when I didn't want to show him this side of me, this weak, broken part.

"Give it to me, I'll do it," he said, taking the soap from my hands as I just kept crying and coughing every once in a while.

Daryl very delicately ran the soap all over my body to not hurt me, especially on my back where I couldn't reach myself. As I fell down some of my hair got wet but Daryl moved me forward a bit so not all of it would get wet as well.

I asked him to run the soap on my body again, not feeling clean enough yet. He did as I told him but told me this was the last time he was going to do it since he didn't think it was good for me to be like this for longer because I was sick. When he finished and the water washed the soap away, he kissed the top of my right shoulder and then turned off the water.

He quickly grabbed a towel nearby and wrapped it around my body, holding me close to him as he dried my body and unclasped my bra, allowing it to fall on the floor. He grabbed my dried shirt that previously belonged to the girl that lived on the house where I was held hostage.

He didn't allow me to put on the same jeans since they were very dirty but the shirt wasn't because I was wearing the sweater on top of it all the time.

We were in block D so all my clothes were back in my cell in C, so, with the towel wrapped around my waist, wearing nothing underneath it, he took me back to the cell where I woke up.

Daryl told me to wait for him as he needed to go back to C to not only grab a pair of trousers for me, but also to change because he was as wet as me.

Ten minutes later Daryl came back fully dressed in different clothes, he got for me a pair of grey sweatpants I sometimes use to sleep when it's cold. He helped me put them on and then used the towel to dry the wet strands of my hair and once he was sure he couldn't do anything else he used it to dry his own hair.

"So, who's Fletcher?" Daryl asked, trying to talk about something else.

"Was a girl," I muttered. "She lived in the house where Sean kept me these days, she was a swimmer."

"Where was that? Where did he keep you?"

"I'm not sure, some hours on foot away from here," I said. "I could show you, I could recognize the house if I see it."  
"Cecilia, I'm sorry to ask but what did he do to you?" Daryl asked as he grabbed my hands. "Why did he take you?"

"He said he loved me, said you stole me away from him and said he was going to kill you. He... he wasn't abusive often just when he got mad, like when he slapped me, he did it because I talked bad of Shane. He, uh, he drugged me a few times, I was more out than conscious during the first two or three days. That day, we were going inside a store when he drugged me and hours later I woke up in a dark room."

"What else do you remember?"

"Unfortunately, everything," I said as I bit my lip. "It was not until the last days that he finally untied my wrists."

"Is that why they were so badly hurt?" Daryl asked me as he looked down at my bandaged wrists. I just nodded at him. "By the way, I bumped into Carl when I went to C, he has been trying to see you since we brought you but he is not allowed to come because you are sick."

"Speaking of it, how is everyone?"

"Some people died," Daryl told me sadly. "But once we brought the antibiotics no more people died and all of them got better, there are still some here but about half have recovered completely."

Daryl raised my hands and brought them to his lips, kissing them softly and that's when I noticed his knuckles were bloody, I wanted to ask about them but I decided not to. Daryl was never this affectionate or delicate and I didn't want to anger him, I wanted to cherish this moment, besides, I knew I didn't want to know the answer.

"Cecilia, you know you can tell me anything, right?" Daryl told me, sitting next to me on the bed, facing me and looking right into my eyes, I didn't say anything or nod at him, just looked back at him. "You can trust me."

"What's your point?" I asked, looking down at the floor, avoiding his penetrative stare. I just heard him sigh and he gripped my hands more tightly.

"I really hate to ask you this but I need to know," he muttered, I had never seen such a serious expression on his face or heard that tone on him. "Cecilia, did he touch you?"

I said nothing to him but I shook my head as tears threatened to roll down my face but I prevented them from doing that, refusing to look back at Daryl. I jerked my hands away and crossed them in front of me, eventually hugging myself as I kept my head down.

"Cecilia," he said as calm as he could master. "I saw that on your neck, I can tell it's not a normal bruise. Cecilia, I know how you feel but you can tell me, you can trust me."

"I doubt you know how I feel and if you can tell it's not a normal bruise then, why do you ask?" I snapped, not meaning to. "Sorry," I muttered quickly.

"Don't be sorry, I'm sorry for making you relive it but I... I just need to know what I'm dealing with and I need to make sure you are okay."

I bit my lip and took deep breath but that didn't help stopping the tears from finally running down my face, my body slightly shook as I cried, flashbacks running in my mind. Soon, I felt Daryl's strong arms around me and I flinched.

"It's me, Cecilia. It's me!" he muttered when he noticed how tensed I got, I relaxed slightly but not completely.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I kept repeating, I wasn't sure for what exactly. For allowing to get kidnapped, for not trying harder to escape, for allowing him to undress me and kiss me, for being weak or just for everything.

"This isn't your fault, princess," he said as he kissed the top of my head and held me tighter.

I almost chuckled at the irony of that name. He teased me with it, knowing how much I hated it until he just called me that because it got stuck of him and I just got used to it. A princess needs to be saved, not being able to do so herself. I always told Daryl I wasn't like that but this time I truly was a princess, I was captured by the bad guy and waited until my prince in shining armour came to rescue me with his soldiers.

"I guess I'm actually a princess," I muttered with a sarcastic and emotionless chuckle, soon Daryl caught on why I was saying it. "Aren't I?"

"Stop it, Cecilia."

Daryl rubbed my back, being extremely careful with me as if I would break if he used just a bit more force. He kissed my forehead again and tried to get to calm me down.

"Alright, let go a bit slower, okay?" Daryl whispered to me, I didn't nod but I didn't shook my head at him either. "Did he kiss you?"

The time that Sean kissed my lips for the first time crossed my mind, followed by the other times and I started feeling the same way I was feeling back then, more tears filled my eyes as I just nodded at Daryl, still not being able to look him in the eye.

I could feel how Daryl tensed and he held me a bit more tightly, he said something under his breath but I couldn't understand what exactly.

Daryl already knew things happened but he wasn't sure how far it got and he wanted me to say it, like if I didn't confirm it then it meant it didn't happen. Or maybe he was hoping it didn't get so far and he finally could have peace if I said it was not more than a kiss. I knew Daryl was pissed off like never before but he was controlling himself because of me.

"Did he... did he do more than that?" he asked and I shakily nodded after the third time he asked me. He breathed hard as he let go of me and started to pace the room as he ran his hands through his long hair.

I had managed to stop crying but I started again as soon as he stood up, thinking there was a chance he could be disgusted by me. I was disgusted by myself, why wouldn't he? I bent my knees and hugged them, burying my face in them as I cried.

"Cecilia..." he said softly as he stopped pacing and looked down at me, putting a hand on my back but I instantly tensed and he removed it. "Did he, uh, Cecilia, did he rap...?"

"No!" I exclaimed quickly not wanting to hear that word. I lifted my head from my knees, looking up at him for a second before burying my head again, mostly in shame. "But almost," I whispered that but Daryl heard me.

"Almost?" he asked even in a more softer way. He sat next to me again, facing me, looking sadly at me. "What do you mean?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "He just... he just kept going and..."

I started to shake, I knew Sean didn't rape me but he touched all my body, he kissed me, he humiliated me, and I couldn't do anything about it. I was just so defenceless and so... exposed. I couldn't do anything about it.

A part of me was so ashamed of what happened I just wanted the virus to kill me already and the other part wanted to tell Daryl, to get it off my chest and finally tell him so he would never mention it or bring it up again, so I could finally block it and move on from it, if I could do that.

I quickly moved to the edge of the bed and stood up, attempting to leave the room but I wasn't quick enough. Daryl stood up too and instead of grabbing me, he stood in front of me, blocking the exit. I tried to pass through a little gap between the wall and him but he just moved in front of me, I tried to push him then but he didn't even move an inch, instead he put his arms over my shoulders, very carefully because I had bruises there.

"Why do you want to know, anyway?" I asked loudly, daring to look into his eyes for only a second before looking down to the floor.

"You need to get it out," he said. "You can't keep it in, it will destroy you."

"Want to know why he hit me here?" I asked angrily, pointing to the side of my head where he hit me with the butt of the gun. "He was trying to kiss me and I kept fighting back, I was on the floor and he just hit me because he got sick of me struggling under him!" I didn't mean to yell or be so angry, I wasn't angry at Daryl but at Sean, at me. "I was bleeding and barely conscious!"

I turned so my back was facing him now, I took deep breaths to calm myself, I didn't want the whole block or even the whole prison to hear, if anyone had to know that was Daryl, not anyone else, not even my mother or Rick, at least not now.

"He tied me to the bed," I whispered, lowering my voice a lot, I wasn't even sure if Daryl could hear me or not. "He... he... he ripped my shirt and my jeans and he just..." I stopped as my voice starting breaking, I took a deep breathed and coughed to compose myself. "He just kept kissing me, running his hands through my body, he was about to take my bra off when I just snapped... just lost my mind and he stopped."

I broke down again almost falling down to the ground. Daryl approached me without me noticing and he just wrapped his arms around me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder as he just allow me to cry.

"That was it?" he whispered in my ear, I just nodded at him, not finding my voice. "He didn't do anything else?" I shook my head. "If he did, you know you can tell me. You don't have to keep it from me."

"He didn't, alright? So stop asking me that! Now just let go of me, you must be disgusted by me, just let me go!" I shouted the last part as I struggled in his arms but he didn't let go of me.

"I'm not disgusted by you," he told me. "Sean," he said and I felt myself tensing at the sound of his name. "Is the one that makes me sick. He's nothing but a piece of shit and you didn't deserve what he did, none of it."

"How can you not be disgusted by me?" I mumbled, not believing him, as I wiped away some tears. "I am! I am... I'm disgusting."

"I love you, Cecilia," he told me firmly and without hesitation as he turned me around so he could face me, putting his hand under my chin, making me to look up at him as he stared right into my eyes, which now were bloodshot and filled with even more tears. "And, you aren't. I will never find you disgusting and I'm so sorry for what he did to you. You have no idea how much I wish I could go back in time and kill him before he laid a hand on you, but I can't. But we'll make it through, we'll... fix you, together. We'll change those memories for happy ones and we'll replace these horrible feelings for good ones, I promise. I'll never, ever, leave you again."

"You won't tell anyone, right?" I muttered.

"No, I would never do that," he told me sincerely. "Do you feel better now?"

I hadn't noticed but in fact I did feel better now, I was more calmed, just a bit but I was, I wasn't feeling anymore like someone was chocking me from inside and like if most of some heavy weight had been lifted from me, I felt like somehow, everything was going to get better.

"So... you won't, uh, leave me?" I asked him, that was what scared me the most, that he was so disgusted by me that he wouldn't be able to look at me anymore and just walk away.

"What? Are you deaf or something? I love you! I do, I could never leave you, especially now," he exclaimed in surprise and then he kissed my forehead and quickly pecked my lips.

"I'm sick!" I exclaimed, pushing him away. "Don't kiss me now!"

"Couldn't help it," he said with a small grin.

"Daryl?" I asked, looking right into his beautiful blue eyes.

"Hmm?"

"I love you too," I whispered, I involuntarily smiled as I said and he grinned at me as he wrapped me in his arms.

For the first time in about a week I felt truly happy and I couldn't help but smile. We had never said those three words ever, and I felt a new, warm feeling inside of me. I hated that we said those words after something so horrible happened but it was still special and we both meant it, maybe it was the right time to say them, all I knew is that now I felt like I would be okay and I felt... safe.

"I know," he told me, allowing a small chuckle to escape his lips.

I lifted my head and looked at him with an eyebrow raised at him and still with that smile on my lips, I really didn't expect that answer. He loosened his grip on me slightly, looking down at me with a smirk, he raised one of his arms and pinched my left cheek, right where my dimple should be.

"I love that dimple," he told me.

"What do you mean that you know?" I asked him, slapping his hand away from my cheek.

"Two reasons, one you talk in your sleep, you said it just before you woke up," he told me, the smirk only getting bigger and I just blushed at him. "And two, because the other night when you stayed in my cell, you thought I was sleeping and I wasn't and you said it."

"You heard me?" I asked in surprise, remembering that night.

"Yeah," he said chuckling. "I wanted to say it back but I kind of lost the right moment, you know?"

Our special, romantic moment was interrupted by my annoying coughs, I turned around so I wouldn't infect Daryl, when it ended I looked down at my hand and there was blood in it. I wiped it on the inside of my shirt and turned around, now, with a fake smile. I couldn't help but worry about it even when I felt a lot better now.

"You don't have to pretend," he told me. "I saw the blood too and you'll be fine, I promise."

"I freaked out the first time it happened, I remembered about Patrick and... I just didn't want to die."

"You didn't and you won't," he said as he put his hands on my shoulders. "Why don't you rest, you need it."

I allowed Daryl to lead me to the bed, I lied down and Daryl covered my body with the blanket and sheets, I smiled at him and grabbed his left hand, kissing it.

"You should go, you need to rest too."

"You crazy?" he exclaimed with a chuckle. "I said I won't ever leave you again and I won't. I volunteered to keep an eye on you, to make sure you just wouldn't stop breathing or something like that so I can't just leave you even if I want to."  
"But I can make you sick and..."

"I spent a whole week with sick people, I buried them, I still haven't got it and I'm sure I won't get it from you and if I do, well we have the antibiotics now," Daryl told me, lying down next to me, using my stomach as a pillow. "I'll be fine, Cecilia."

"I know," I whispered as I started running my hand through his brown hair. "You always are."

"We always are," he whispered.

"Daryl?"

"Hmm?" he muttered, half-asleep already.

"Thanks for staying here with me."

"Always."

I rested my hand on his shoulder when I heard his deep breaths, meaning he had fallen asleep with his head on top of my stomach and an arm around me. I never sleep on my back but having Daryl so close to me and knowing I was safely back in the prison, made me fall asleep almost instantly after him.

Hello!  
Sorry I couldn't post last week. I was dying. High fever and kept throwing up. I was sick for 5-6 days and it was hell but here's the new chapter :P


	12. Chapter 12 - Rage

"It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."  
― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

The next day wasn't any easier than the day before, actually, for a moment I thought I dreamt it all or I hallucinated because of the fever and I never got back to the prison but I calmed down once I saw Daryl on the bed, sleeping next to me, so it did happen.

I was feeling a lot better but I still refused to go out of my cell, not wanting to face or see anyone, as they would look at me with pity, I didn't want that.

Sasha, who was a lot better now, brought me some food right after Hershel had injected me some more antibiotics and also some vitamins they had, I was extremely dehydrated after not eating or drinking much for the last week.

"How are you feeling?" Sasha asked, Daryl was gone now to eat breakfast with the rest, he reluctantly did it but I forced him to go, it couldn't be healthy for him to stay so much time with me, locked in a cell. But I think it was harder for me to let him go than to him for leaving, even if it was just for an hour or so.

"Better," I admitted. "And you?"

"I'm almost as good as before I got sick," she said with a smile but then her eyes reflected sadness and sorrow. "I didn't even know you were missing until two days ago."

"You almost died, it's okay," I said, noticing she felt a bit guilty. "I'm back here now."

Sasha and I didn't get along first, both being quite cold to people and not being able to trust people right away but after a couple of months and a few runs together, we started to stand each other and now we were good friends.

Glenn was the next dropping by to see how I was, Glenn hadn't completely recovered, he almost died. He stopped breathing and was only minutes away from dying if Hershel hadn't used the artificial breather and gotten the antibiotics just on time.

Glenn put me up to day to the events that had happened since I was gone. He told me about what happened and how things got from bad to chaotic in just a matter of minutes, saying people kept dying and turning and then biting people, it was awful.

He also told me that the fence finally gave in and several walkers got inside, making it chaotic outside as well, but no one had died from that.

I knew Glenn wanted to know what happened during these days but I kept evading his questions and changing the subject. I only told him that Sean drugged me and tied my hands when he abducted me, not really wanting to tell him anything else, including how I ended up with that cut and bruises on my face, even when he kept asking.

I really thought that now that breakfast was over the next person to visit me was going to be my mother, who I hadn't seen at all, but it wasn't her the person that came to my cell next, it was Michonne, who looked sad and angry about what happened to me but she also looked happy that I was finally back with them.

"I look like shit, you don't have to tell me," I said as I noticed her opening her mouth a few times but not saying anything to me, she only chuckled at me as she sat on the bed next to me.

"I got to be honest," she said with a sigh. "I was starting to think that we wouldn't find you."

"What? You doubted me?" I said with fake hurt.

"I didn't doubt you, but I know that guy lost his mind a long time ago and he could just... snap and kill you," she said sadly. "And this place is so big, the two of you could be anywhere."  
"I feared that a few times," I admitted. "But at some point I just wanted him to kill me already, get it over with."

"What kept you going?"

"I'm not sure. I lost hope, I did. I really thought that would be my end, especially after I got sick and he was refusing to bring me back. Michonne, can I tell you something?"

"Of course," she said nodding and looking right into my blue eyes.

"I had a slim chance to escape one night, there were walkers outside and Sean was concentrated on them, I could have run and hide somewhere through the night but I didn't," I said as my voice turned into just a whisper at the end. "It wasn't because I was scared of the walkers outside or because he could stab me or shoot me in the back. I had nothing else to lose, I was dead anyway but I chose not to try."

"Why is that?" She was a bit surprised by my confession. "Because you totally lost hope?"

"No, at first I believed I just hesitated too long and lost my opportunity but it wasn't really that, at least not entirely" I said, nervously biting my lip as I made a short pause. "Mich, I stayed because I wanted to hurt him, I wanted to make him suffer for what he had done to me. And I still feel like that, I feel so much... hatred inside of me and it scares me."

"It's normal to be angry but..."

"No! You don't understand," I exclaimed quickly. "I was angry and hurt with my dad years ago but this... It is so much more than that. I'm just not angry. I desire him to suffer and I want to be the one that tortures him... what if... I'm just as messed up as him?"

"Of course you aren't," Michonne exclaimed as she rested a hand on top of mine, that was on my lap. "You are just a bit... unstable right now. It's understandable after what you went through, time will make you feel better."

"It's not like it matters," I said with a bitter laugh. "The bastard is dead. He got it easy and fast. I would have locked him up and do the same things he did to me and more."

Michonne fidgeted uncomfortably, I barely noticed. I was actually ashamed I had such evil thoughts and desires. I could be angry, yes, but I should just want to kill him not torture him.

"Let it go, Cici," Michonne told me. "That's not good. Don't let that eat you, it's not healthy."

"Don't tell Daryl I said that, I don't want him to think bad of me."

"He wouldn't think bad of you."

"Where is he, anyway? He said he was going to come after breakfast."

"Rick has kept him busy. He wasn't well, you see, barely slept, barely ate, Rick just wants to have him busy so he won't think of what happened, he will let him go after lunch, though. Anyway, you should rest a bit, you are still recovering."

Michonne stood up after she pat my shoulder as she smiled at me. I wanted to argue but I knew I wouldn't be allowed to leave this block and go out, not even for a walk and to say the truth I felt a bit tired, most like weak.

At lunch when Hershel was sure no one was going to come for at least twenty minutes he came to check on me. He checked the gash on the side of my head and said that it was very likely that I wouldn't have a scar and if I would, then it would be really thin. He also checked my wrists and I couldn't help but feel something building up inside of me at the sight of them, they were healing well and all but I felt that rage at Sean again, I just wanted to lock him up and starve him for days and do so much more and just... get revenge, I suppose.

Hershel said that feeling weak and tired was normal, everything caused it. The starvation, going without water for days, the drugs, the stress, the constant physical and mental fights with Sean and the virus. He even said he was surprised at how good I was from everything I had to go through.

I decided to help Hershel with the sick people, which were only five now, including me. Glenn was one of them plus two women and one older men.

"Is Lizzie okay?" I asked, noticing the girl wasn't here anymore.

"She never got that bad," Glenn told me. "She was one of the first people to be allowed to leave."

After helping Hershel and talking to Glenn a bit more I took a nap, I was quite exhausted. When I woke up I found the bible and other book on the table next to my bed. I smiled and took the bible first, knowing very well Hershel was the one leaving the books there.

I had read a few pages when I heard someone clearing their throats, I looked up and saw Rick with a smile on his lips. I told him to come in and get comfortable, which he instantly did. There wasn't a chair here so he sat on the edge of the bed, farther than Michonne had hours ago.

"Carl said he wants you to have this, that you earned it," Rick said putting on my head the brown sheriff hat Carl had worn every hour of every day for more than a year but hadn't used it in about four months. "Said once you get out of here you can give it back to him, but for now, it's yours."

"Thank Carl for me," I said with a proud smile as I took the hat from my head to look at it before putting it back on. "I want to see him so bad, the first thing I'll do once I get out of here will be giving him a big hug."

I knew Rick wasn't here for Carl, not entirely. I knew he wanted to discuss what happened with Sean all these days, he was the leader of the group and I loved him as a father but I didn't want to talk about it again so I kept talking about Carl to delay that horrible conversation, I just wanted to forget it all.

Rick wasn't stupid either and knew what I was doing, I wasn't normally such a talker as I was now, barely allowing Rick to say a few words but after maybe fifteen minutes I run out of topics to talk and while I was thinking of something new to say he took the chance.

"Cecilia, I know this is hard, I can just imagine what that bastard did and what you went through but I need to know what happened, from start to end."

I sighed, looking down at my hands. I didn't want to retell the story, telling Daryl was hard enough. I was ashamed and didn't want more people knowing but deep inside of me I knew Rick had to know.

So after about ten minutes of Rick trying to get me to talk, I started telling him. Including how he talked to Sean only minutes before he told me Rick had told him to check the snares, and that's why I didn't suspect anything even when something didn't really fit.

"I was angry at Daryl for not letting me go on that run, I wanted to do something so I was kind of excited when Sean told me we could go out," I admitted.

Then I told him how he drugged me the following days, told him about the house where we stayed in. I also told him that on the fourth day, if I'm not mistaken, Sean locked me up in the bathroom and minutes later I could hear my mum's voice, at that Rick looked quite uncomfortable and he looked down at the ground, I wanted to ask him why my mum hadn't visited me but I was going to ask him after finishing my story, then I even told him how Sean admitted he loved me and wanted to kill Daryl because of it.

"He also wanted to kill you," I added as Daryl joined us, leaning his shoulder on the wall. "He said you killed the last relative he had and wanted revenge."

I told Rick that Sean kissed me a few times against my will but I couldn't bring myself to tell him he undress me and touched all my body or the time he made me change in front of him, but after breaking down once again, I allowed Daryl to tell him, only they could know about that, no one else.

"I don't even understand why it's so important for you to know everything," I exclaimed to both men as I stopped crying and shaking from the memories. "It's not like it matters now, he's gone."

"No, he isn't," Rick told me, I just looked up at him with an eyebrow raised at him. "We need to know because we care about you and want to make sure you are okay and take every measure needed."

"What do you mean?"

"First mentally, we need to know what he did so we can help you heal and also physically. For example," Rick said after a long pause. "If he, uh, if he went all the way, you know, and you are very unfortunate and get you know... pregnant, we can take actions before it's too late," Rick said getting a bit uncomfortable. "And I said, we want to make sure you are okay... mentally. I know these things are really hard, plus, we have Sean in a cell, he will pay for everything he did to you. Everything."

"Are you serious?" I asked, remembering Daryl's bloody knuckles last night, that explains it then.

"Yeah, I couldn't just kill him," Daryl admitted. "He needs to pay, Cecilia."

"I need to see him," I exclaimed standing up.

"No," Rick said firmly. "That won't be healthy for you, we'll handle this, Cici."

"But I –"

"You won't see him," Daryl said, interrupting me. "That's why we didn't want to tell you. There is no punishment enough for what he did but at least he'll pay."

"Who knows about that?" I asked, knowing Hershel wouldn't agree to this.

"Just the group that was out when we found you," Rick replied. "And Sasha and Maggie, no one else. You have to promise me you won't try to find him, Cici."

"I can't," I admitted.

"If you can't, then we'll kill him right now."

I stood in complete silence for a few minutes, then slumped down on my bed again and slowly nodded. It made me ashamed that I wanted him to suffer but I did, so if that meant I couldn't do anything to him and I should just leave it to Daryl and Rick, then so be it.

"Cici, there's something I've been wanting to tell you, this is not easy, okay?"

"Rick," Daryl said in a warming tone, I just looked weirdly at Rick.

"This can't wait any longer," Rick told him, looking at Daryl. "The sooner the better."

"Alright, you are scaring me, what is going on? Did someone die? Did something bad happen?"

"I exiled your mother from the group," Rick told me and I felt like someone was stabbing me from behind. I just shook my head in disbelief at him. "She didn't want you to know why but I think you need to. Cici, she killed Karen and David."

"No, she wouldn't," I said quickly.

"She admitted it," Rick told me softly, looking right into my blue eyes with his own blue ones. "And she showed no regrets, she did it so no more people would get sick. I had no choice. She was convinced she did the right thing."

Typical, I guess. I couldn't help but feel like this was going to happen sooner or later. For the last twelve or so years our relationship hadn't been the best and now that it was finally good she does this and gets exiled, away from me. I guess we will never be able to be okay.

"Didn't you wonder how we just bumped into you back in the woods?" Rick asked and I nodded. "It wasn't a coincidence, we were going to get you."  
"You knew where I was?" I asked very surprised.

"Your mum came earlier, said she needed to talk to me. I thought she just wanted to apologize and come back so I refused at first but when I went to talk to her she said she came across Sean, he was in this house and she just found it odd. So she came here to inform me about it."

"Does she know about me?"

"No, I decided it was better not to tell her. She would have blamed herself for being there and leaving you," Rick said and I nodded at him.

Daryl went to sit next to me and wrapped an arm around me, knowing that this was a strong blow for me. I didn't want to admit it but I needed my mother, just to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay but now I wasn't even sure if I was going to see her again.

"So, she is alone out there?" I asked, scared for her, even when I knew I shouldn't, she wasn't the same woman she trembled whenever my dad was back from work.

"No," Rick said. "She's with Axel."

"I thought Axel was sick."

"When she came to tell me about Sean, Axel heard she was here and decided to leave with her," Rick told me.

I was surprised to hear that. I thought Axel was just with my mother because he was a man that needed company and at the time there were no other women available, just her. But if he left the prison, a place where he could be safe, for her, then it meant he actually cared for her and somehow I was a bit relieved she wasn't completely alone out there.

"I didn't want to do it but what she did was wrong," Rick told me, trying to make me feel better. "She'll be fine, she's a strong woman."

"I know," I said mostly to myself, to convince myself my mother will be fine.

Rick said a few more things to try to make me feel better but nothing really worked. I was devastated but I didn't want to cry anymore, especially in front of Rick. I never thought I would feel this sad about not seeing my mother again, I didn't show it, though.

Rick put his hand on my shoulder, gave it a squeeze and said how sorry he was again. I only offered him a small smile before he left the cell, he needed to talk to Hershel about something.

"How are...?"

"I'm fine," I said quickly. "I just – I don't know, I guess I just wish I could have said good-bye."  
"She's not dead, Cecilia," Daryl told me.

"I know," I snapped but then sadness overcame my anger. "But she's gone."

Daryl offered to take me around the prison for a walk to clear my mind but I refused, not wanting to see people and see the looks they would give me. Instead I curled in my bed, trying to sleep but I couldn't.

Daryl stayed with me but after a while he stopped trying to talk to me, so he grabbed the book Hershel had given me and after an hour he grabbed the bible, opening it at random and reading something before opening it somewhere else.

I stayed silent most of the time until I started breathing hard because tears were threatening to fall and I just didn't want to cry anymore, I was sick of crying.

I didn't even want to cry because of sadness, but out of rage. I wasn't even that mad at Sean anymore, I was mad at myself, for being such a weak girl.

"Hey," Daryl said, climbing on the bed and sitting next to me, he was previously sat on the floor with his back against the bed. "It's alright."

"No, it isn't. Daryl," I said, turning around, so now I was lying on my back, looking at him. "You don't understand! I got into self-defence because of my dad and I was glad I never got to use it against him but... all those days... why didn't I defend myself? I could have escaped, I could have..."

"Stop!" Daryl exclaimed. "You said you were tied, you were drugged, Cecilia. He had a gun pointed at you, don't think you are weak because you are one of the strongest girls I've ever met."

"Daryl?"

"Hmm?"

"Make sure he gets what he deserves," I said, surprising myself with my cold tone. I almost sounded cruel, like one of those villains in kids' movies, I think I even smirked as I said it. During those few seconds, I felt like it wasn't me who was really talking and I was a bit scared but the feeling or rage and revenge was stronger that for the moment, that was all I thought and cared about.

Daryl said nothing to me but he nodded at me before going back to reading.

Daryl's POV

I looked over my shoulder and saw Cecilia finally sleeping peacefully, I had woken her up two times from nightmares, which isn't uncommon, but I heard her muttered 'Sean' and 'mum' a few times, but that wasn't what had kept me up all night.

I had my hands rested behind my head as I looked up at the ceiling, I wasn't trying to fall asleep anymore, I had given up after I woke Cecilia up the second time.

Actually one source of her nightmares, her mother, was preventing me from falling asleep. Something she said to me maybe seven or eight months ago when we told her about our relationship kept going in my head.

" _Let me tell you something, you may not see it and she may even not know it herself but she's very damaged, Daryl, I guess I have some of the blame, she will break down one day, just like that day back at the farm when she wanted to kill herself and you have to be ready when that happens and you have to know how to handle it."_

I closed my eyes tightly, remembering that day and the time Cecilia had just found out her sister had died, she seemed okay at first and then she just got extremely depressed, refusing to eat, talk, go out, anything. She just lost every reason to keep living and due to her behaviour lately I was afraid that could happen again.

Usually, Cecilia's weaknesses were her loved ones. She didn't care enough about herself but she gave everything for other people. Sophia, Carl, Andrea, Michonne... me. But now it seemed like Sean finally found a weak spot and brought down her strong walls and finally got to her.

She showed how torn she was the day before, especially when she broke down while she showered, and I had nothing against that, actually I found that behaviour to be normal and I was glad she wasn't bottling her feelings, but today she had acted like if it didn't affect her that much and she was forbidding herself to cry, I heard her mumbling it in her dreams, how she couldn't cry anymore, that she wasn't weak.

It was not until now that I was seeing what Carol knew all those months ago, even before that. Cecilia may seem strong and tough but she only needed a faint scratch in the right place to break her and make her fall down, I knew that now. Of course that what happened wasn't just a scratch, it was way more than that.

" _I won't be there when it happens, when she finally breaks down and even if I am, she'll rely on you and I don't want to lose the only daughter I have left so I trust you'll be there when her facade comes to an end and she breaks down."_

" _I won't let that happen."_

I guess what they say is correct, mothers always know. I believed Carol was just crazy, underestimating her daughter but right now I was thinking _I_ underestimated _Carol_ all this time.

I wasn't sure at first, I wanted to believe Cecilia was okay, despite everything, after all this was Cecilia the one we were talking about, my Cecilia, and she could take everything but it wasn't until Rick kind of let it slip to her that Sean was alive that her expression completely changed, I had never seen that look in her eyes and it scared me.

Her usual icy blue eyes that I adore didn't have any kind of love and kindness in them, they actually looked empty and I saw how the colour of her eyes turned around three shades darker. She looked so different, even scary. The girl in there wasn't my Cecilia and I was afraid I could lose her because of that damn bastard.

Just thinking about that piece of shit made my blood boiling and I almost jumped out of bed and went to where we have him but I promised Rick I would stay away from him. This morning I went before breakfast and just started beating him.

Cecilia's words were in my head, telling me how he almost raped her. How he kissed her and touched her, I wasn't thinking right, I just wanted to get my rage out, using him as a punching bag. Rick found me and stopped me, if he hadn't I would have probably killed him.

The thought of him running his hands over her body just made me feel such a rage I thought I wasn't able to feel, not even my own father made me feel this furious. If Rick and the others wouldn't be here to control me I would have cut off his cock and let him bleed out, and then actually stop it just on time to keep him alive a bit longer.

I felt horrible for letting Cecilia alone that day, I was blaming myself, yes, even when everyone told me it wasn't my fault, even Cecilia herself but I couldn't stop feeling like that.

Just as my hands turned into first and my knuckles were turning white as I thought about what she went through, Cecilia started whimpering in her sleep once again, muttering words like 'no', 'please', and 'Sean'.

I sat up and shook her body until she opened her beautiful blue eyes, which now were filled with fear. She sat up and wrapped her arms around my neck almost immediately, she shook in my arms with every sob.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked softly, she said nothing, only shook her head.

This time it took me more than half an hour to get me to calm her down, once she did, I laid us both on the bed, not letting her go for even a second. She rested her head on my chest as I had one arm tightly around her waist and I stroked her head with the other and like that we both fell asleep.

Hello guys! Hoped you liked the chapter.  
What are your thoughts on the new episode of the TWD? I sort of saw it coming but I'm still in denial. I still haven't comprehended what happened.

Anyway, I made a new TWD multicouple Crossover, and here's the link if you want to watch it:

/EyJi5ESrz4A


	13. Chapter 13 - Reincorporating

"The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all."

– Walt Disney Company, Mulan

Cecilia's POV

A whole week passed until Hershel finally said I was okay to join the others, by then only Glenn and I were left in that block, but it wasn't until a week and a half later that I finally had the courage to leave and go back to my own cell and face everyone.

Carl ran to me even before I stepped out of block A, he wrapped his arms around me, almost knocking me down to the floor, Rick was next to me and he chuckled at us. I wrapped my own arms around the boy, I had missed him so much.

"You are wearing the hat!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"Of course," I said in a duh tone. "It helped me get better even faster. Now it's time for it to go back to its owner." I took the hat and set it on Carl's head.

"If you ever get sick again, you can have it back," he told me with a smile.

Carl took my hand and pulled me all the way to my room, Rick and Daryl following close behind. Once I got there I saw there was a new puzzle on my bed. I had tried to convince everyone to start that one but all of them chose the NYC one, this was from Australia, a place I always wanted to visit. I smiled as I took the box in my hands.

"Thought it can keep you busy," Carl told me. "It's all yours, unless you want some help."  
"Why don't we do it together?" I told him with a smile. "We can start it later or tomorrow."

"Sounds great," Carl told me with a smile.

The three of them left me alone then. I walked around my cell, softly running my hands on the blanket over my bed, never feeling so happy to be back in this grey and gloomy place that at some time I had started to call home.

I looked at my now empty backpack and my clothes that now were folded and set on top of a small table, when I left everything was a mess and that table wasn't here. The camera Glenn gave me in that place weeks ago was also there but the picture Rick took of us wasn't anywhere in here, I wondered where it could be and I only hoped it didn't get lost.

I looked at the corner of the room and couldn't help but smile as I saw the crossbow Daryl gave to me months ago, now it was the only weapon I had. I lost my gun and my knife. I was glad I was very skilled with it now.

Being out of block A and back here made me feel like I was back for real, that everything ended. I smiled, feeling so much better than I had in weeks.

I stood up and went to Daryl's cell, hoping to find him there and sure enough he was. I smiled at him as I leant against the door frame.

"Daryl?"

"Princess," he muttered in a surprise tone, but he smiled nevertheless.

"I was wondering if you had seen the picture Rick took before people got sick and all that," I said. "I wanted to see it."

Daryl smiled and then reached inside one of his back pockets, he took out a small paper, or what it looked like paper and handed it to me. I walked to him and I took the paper and noticed it was the picture, I smiled when I saw it. Even when it was in his pocket, the picture was in perfect shape and it made me so happy he treasured it so much.

"I needed that... I was so glad I had it," Daryl admitted as I sat next to him in the bed and took a closer look at the picture.

"We should take another one soon," I said with a smile. "So, each one of us can have one."

"Sounds perfect," Daryl said as he kissed my forehead.

"But let's wait until this heals," I said, pointing to my barely visible and small cut and faint green bruise on my face. "I don't want to remember being like this."

"Of course."

During these two weeks and a half that had passed about half of my bruises had vanished completely and the other half were barely visible, the injuries in my wrists were taking a bit more time to heal, though. The bruises were a constant reminder of what happened and I couldn't bare to look at myself but now that they were mostly gone, things were getting better.

But it had been hard, I felt myself losing all kind of purpose, each day I had less things to hold on, to continue, and more things to choke me, that was one of the reasons why I didn't leave block A even when I was allowed do, I didn't even want to leave my bed. I had just given up. Daryl noticed and made everything in his power to not let me slip, not to allow me get any worse.

I hadn't even noticed I was slowly falling back into the pits of darkness, losing myself and losing who I was. Before I knew it I was almost as bad as when I lost Sophia, except this time Daryl spotted the signs just in time; he grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the pits, from the abyss I was falling in, I was better now but he still hadn't let go, he was still pulling me up, I still wasn't out of that abyss, not yet.

He gave me time to get better and not face people but he decided it was better for me to get me out of that lonely place, he thought it would make me feel better and he was right. Seeing Carl made me extremely happy.

I still hadn't seen the rest but I was looking forward to, maybe not to see everybody but at lease see my family, meaning Beth, Maggie, Oliver, Judith and the rest I had already seen since I came back like Michonne, Sasha and Glenn.

"What are you thinking?" Daryl asked me.

"Just about how I have missed everybody," I told him honestly."It was good to see Carl again."

"You have no idea how anxious that kid was to see you," he told me. "How are you feeling now that you are back here?"

"I actually feel so much better," I said with a smile as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "You were right, I needed to get out of there."

"I'm always right," he said cockily, I just rolled my eyes at him.

"Well, aren't you cocky," I said sarcastically before pecking his lips.

"But you love me just like that," he muttered, making me roll my eyes at him again but I kissed him back when he pressed his lips against mine.

Concerning Sean, I didn't know where he was or what they had done to him. No one had mentioned his name since I was told he was captured, not Rick and not Daryl, but I knew he was still alive, the two of them and Michonne sometimes go missing for a couple of hours, besides, Rick's and Daryl's knuckles keep being bloody and bruised.

I kind of want everything to just end already, knowing Sean is still around makes me edgy and uncomfortable. I wanted him to suffer but now I just want him dead... gone forever. I want to end this chapter and start a new one but I won't be able to do it until he's finally dead.

An hour later Daryl actually had to pull me out of the prison because for some reason I was nervous about seeing the others. I told him I wasn't hungry and that I was just going to stay in my cell but he didn't believe my lie, especially after because my stomach gave me away by grumbling, Daryl just gave me a look, grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the bed.

"Come on."

Beth was so happy to see me, she jumped from her seat, ran to me and actually tackled me to the ground when she hugged me, I hugged her back as the two of us stayed on the ground, laughing. The others also laughed at us and Carl even jumped on top of us, not being able to resist it.

Maggie went to help me up and pulled me into a hug once I was on my feet. Oliver smiled at me when I sat almost in front of him but he looked away quickly, Rick told me he felt extremely guilty because he was the one that let us go, it wasn't his fault, I didn't really blame him and I wanted to tell him that but it had to wait until after lunch.

Daryl sat next to me, while Beth was on my other side. Baby Judith was sat on her father's lap, she was the last person I hadn't seen, until now.

I think Daryl and I had only been affectionate towards each other three or four times. One being the time we told everyone about us, we held hands, the next was at Glenn's and Maggie's wedding when Daryl kissed me to show... Sean, I was his, the third time was about four months ago when I went on a run with Sasha and four other people, we should be back in three days but it took us almost two weeks to come back and only Sasha and I made it back. Daryl ran to me, wrapped me in his arms, lifted me up and spun me around and then, still in his arms I kissed him as I wrapped my legs around his waist, in front of pretty much everybody, we didn't care that time, we missed each other and he was worried about me.

Now he was holding my hand in a supportive way but our hands were under the table, so no one, besides Beth, noticed.

When we finished lunch more people, some from Woodbury and some were the people we had saved during these months, approached me with big smiles as they told me how good it was to see me again. I was quite loved mostly because of Daryl, who was kind of their superhero.

Some people were truly happy to see me, some even hugged me, like Mika and Lizzie did, but some also felt pity for me, I could see it behind their smiles and that was what I was avoiding, I didn't want people to pity me, to feel sorry for me. I was okay.

After almost everyone had come to greet me, I stood up and walked to Rick, who looked at me with his eyebrows raised.

"I still need to greet one person," I told him. "Can I hold her?"

"Of course."

I took Judith in my arms and the little girl smiled at me with her few teeth. She was around eight or nine months now, she had gotten so big.

I set her on the grass and I sat in front of her and we played with the grass and a flower that was close to us. I never was that good with kids but now that I have lived several months with Judith I had gotten better.

"Hey, Judy, can you say Cici?" I asked excitedly. "Cici, Ci-Ci."

The toddler didn't even look at me as I kept repeating my nickname to her, instead she kept looking at the flower in her small, chubby hands. I sighed in disappointment but I kept asking her to say it. Carl told me that while I was gone she started saying 'dada' and he also was trying to get her to say his name but Carl is much more difficult to say than Cici.

"What about Cecilia?" I asked, and finally Judith looked up at me with the sweetest smile ever. "Cecilia, it's a bit long but I know you can do it, Judy. Ce-Ci-Lia."

I repeated my name slowly three more times until I heard Judith mumbling something. I leant forward, surprised, she looked up at me with her big blue eyes.

"What did you say? Can you say it again, Judith? Cecilia."

"Lia, Lia, Lia," she repeated happily and I chuckled at her, being really proud of her, Carl will be so mad I got her to say my name, well kind of, before his. "Lia, Lia."

"Yeah, that's me," I said with a smile. "Lia, I guess."

Only about twenty minutes later Judith's head started to fall forward, she tried to fight her tiredness but she almost fell on her side, so I held her close to me as I took her back to Beth, she fell asleep, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Guess what?" I said happily to Carl as I saw him just out of block C, he was with Rick, Michonne, Daryl and Sasha.

"What?"

"She said my name!" I exclaimed proudly and a bit loud, almost waking Judith up.

"You are lying!" Carl exclaimed in disbelief. "I have tried to get her to say mine for about a month."

"What can I say? You name it's too hard for her," I said. "She calls me Lia."

"Lia? Why would she call you that? That doesn't even sound like your name."

"Yeah, it's from Ceci-Lia, I guess the last syllable it's easier," I said shrugging, Carl just stuck his tongue at me and I did the same, not minding the four adults around us. "I'll just take her inside."

I walked inside the prison with the blonde toddler in my arms, I looked for Beth but she was nowhere to be found. So, I laid Judith on her crib and sat close to it in case she could wake up.

I was getting bored so I thought about doing what Michonne and I always do, exercise. I rushed to my room, put on my sport bra and some sweatpants, exercising in jeans it's not really that comfortable. I was about to go down when I remembered my bruises, I still had a few, I put on a loose white shirt and went back down the stairs, so I could look after Judith while I exercised.

I sat on the floor and started stretching and then I did some squats, first with two feet and then just with one, going as down as possible, I lied down on the floor then and did some crunches.

I hadn't exercised in almost a month, so I got tired faster. By the time Michonne, Rick and Daryl walked in I was already sweating. Daryl just smiled at me, he looked happy, Rick just ignored me, knowing it was normal for me to exercise and Michonne glared at me.

"I could have joined you, you know?" she exclaimed.

"You still can," I told her. "I'm not done yet."

Rick and Daryl left but Michonne stayed, sitting on the floor next to me, starting to do some crunches, which were her favourite. I love working my legs while she preferred her stomach. Michonne and I did the same exercises and the same repetitions for about twenty minutes until I just collapsed on the floor.

"Oh come on," Michonne exclaimed. "Don't tell me you are already tired."  
"My muscles are," I muttered. "I can't do one more crunch."

"Our workouts are about two hours longs, you haven't been here for more than one."

"I know, I'm just still weak, I suppose. I'm not in shape I haven't workout in like forever," I whined. "It felt good, though."

I sat up and started stretching about five minutes after, I was done for the day. Michonne just kept encouraging me but I was exhausted, my muscles ached, I just needed a shower and rest for a bit.

"Mich?"

"Hmm?" she said as she lied on her stomach, ready to do some push-ups.

"Do you remember that you told me all things happen for a reason and at first you sometimes think they are bad and then you realize they are actually good?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"When I was in that house, I just thought things couldn't get any worse and they kept getting worse, I felt so hopeless and when I got sick, I really thought I was going to die a horrible death. I never thought I would make it out," I told her, making her stop so she could look at me. "But if I hadn't gotten sick, maybe I wouldn't be here right now."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I started coughing blood and that's when he really got scared, before that he thought it was just a normal flu and refused to bring me back here but once he saw the blood he freaked out and finally agreed to bring me."  
"See? I told you, not everything bad is actually bad."

"But I still can't see how being kidnapped can be good," I said. "It had just made me... fearful, so afraid."

"Of what?"

"Of everything, of everyone, of living," I said with sorrow. "I didn't even want to go out of that block. I sometimes can't sleep at night, thinking someone will get me and take me away."

"That won't happen."

"How do we know? Glenn and Maggie were taken by someone we knew, I was taken by someone we trusted. We are always betrayed by the least person we expect."

I couldn't help but think of my mother after I finished that sentence. She didn't betray us, she did it for our own good, to save us, but it wasn't until a few days ago that I started feeling some anger towards her, she wasn't there for me when I needed the most, as usual.

Michonne was about to tell me something when Judith started crying, this time she didn't sleep much. So I didn't go to pick her up right away, maybe she would fall asleep, but she didn't, she only cried harder. I stood up with a sigh and held her in my arms, the baby stopped crying almost immediately.

I sat down again but with Judith in my arms this time, Michonne just kept doing her push-ups. Soon she started to get a bit restless, I tried to move to another position and made faces at her but she was just getting worse. A few minutes later Beth came in holding a full bottle for Judith, she handed it to me and I fed her. Beth claimed it was time for her snack.

"Here you go," I muttered and Judith eagerly started to drink her formula.

"I always wanted to have a baby," Beth said out of nowhere, making me look at her. "Aren't they cute?"

"I guess," I muttered. "When they are not yours."

"Come on, don't tell me you've never wanted one."

"Uh, not really," I said looking from her to Judith.

Honestly, I never really wanted to have kids, I was about ten when I was completely sure I was never going to have one. I didn't want them to go through the same shitty stuff I went through plus I had other plans, other things I wanted to do and that didn't involve changing diapers. Besides, I'm pretty awkward with little kids, especially babies and toddlers, I suppose, it's just not my thing.

"What about you, Michonne?" Beth asked, Michonne just shook her head and continued her workout, I could see her tense a bit with that question but I pretended I didn't notice. "Oh, come on! Don't tell me I'm the only one!"

"I guess so," I said shrugging. "A baby was never a part of my plans."

I was barely putting my stuff back together just before the world went to shit, there was no space and no time for a kid and it wasn't like I had a boyfriend or husband. I was fixing things after getting out of jail, I just wanted to get a job and start university.

"You and Daryl would make a good-looking baby," Beth said with a grin, making me blush and even choke a bit. I kept looking at Judith as I felt my cheeks getting hotter and hotter. "What do you think, Michonne?"  
"I agree," she said with a smirk. "That would be a handsome baby."

"Can you imagine? A baby with blonde hair and blue eyes, and pink cheeks?"

"And Daryl's temper," Michonne added with a chuckle. "And Cecilia's personality."

"Can we just stop?" I exclaimed quickly. "I don't want to talk about this, alright? We won't have a baby, okay? It just won't happen, especially now with the world being like this, we wouldn't be able to take care of another one."

"I kind of want Maggie to have one," Beth said smiling. "That would be cute, a mini Maggie and a mini Daryl being friends with Judith."

"You have an obsession with babies," I muttered. "Even if the world were as before, I don't think I'd have one."

I closed my eyes and remembered the first months after Sophia was born. They were horrible, I was always woken up a few times during the night, my mother would barely pay attention to me, she was either taking care of Sophia or sleeping and my father was away a lot, I kind of blamed Sophia for his absence, I thought she was driving him away, at that time I still loved my father a lot and saw him as my superhero, I missed him.

During the first two years of Sophia's life I only thought she was boring and annoying. I missed my days as an only child. She took so long to learn to walk, I could barely understand her when she talked and she would throw tantrums during meal times.

She also used to take my toys and sometimes break them, not on purpose but that didn't make me less angry. She also screamed and cried whenever I took the toy from her, that continued for several years and as she grew my mum just kept telling me to let her play with it, that we could share, making me even angrier, she was the little girl of the house.

"Cici, Cici," Michonne said, waving a hand in front of my face, I blinked and shook my head as I came back to reality.

"Sorry, what?"

"What were you thinking?"

"Just remembering stuff," I said with a smile. "Stuff of when I was a kid, what were you talking about before I dozed off?"  
"I asked you if you have... you know... done it," Beth asked me with a faint blush on her cheeks.

"Why are we even talking about this?" I asked as Judith finally finished her formula and starting babbling. "Can't we just talk about... the weather? There's a child in the room!" I exclaimed, pretending to be horrified.

"Come on, Michonne already answered," I looked at Michonne, who just shrugged at me.

"Have you?" I said, raising my eyebrows at her, she blushed slightly.

"Well..." Beth started, looking down at the ground.

"That means yes, doesn't it?" I said, chuckling a bit.

"Just don't tell my dad," she muttered, biting her lip.

Michonne was grinning at the teenager while I just kept laughing at Beth. She was so anxious to talk about this and now that the focus was on her, she didn't look so excited. She kept biting her bottom lip and the blush in her cheeks just got stronger.

"Well, are you going to tell us who was the lucky guy or... we will have to guess," Michonne muttered with a smirk

"You don't know him," she said, looking at Michonne but then she turned to look at me. "But you do... I did it with Jimmy."  
"Oh my God!" I exclaimed, covering my mouth with both my hands. "I thought you had just dated for like three months and you didn't even like him that much."

"We started dating after we did it..." Beth said, fiddling with the end of her grey shirt. "We were at a party, it just got out of control."

"He was cute," I told her.

"I did it with Zach too," she blurted out, making Michonne and I burst out laughing. "He was... quite good, you know? Anyway... I said it, now it's your turn Cici."  
"There's nothing to say," I said casually with a slight shrug.

"That's not fair, I shared my story!" Beth exclaimed.

"I do mean it... there is nothing to tell. Nothing has happened."

"Yeah, right," Beth exclaimed sarcastically, rolling her blue eyes.

"It's true!" I said, a bit hurt nobody believed me. "Why do you think I'm lying?"

"We just assumed you did," Michonne said quickly. "It doesn't matte..."

Michonne was interrupted by Judith, who had started crying once again. Beth quickly took her from my arms and excuse herself, saying Judith probably needed a diaper change. I was glad I didn't have to do that.

Beth left Michonne and I alone, Michonne had already stopped exercising by now and had started to stretch.

"He doesn't want, alright?" I exclaimed, knowing that by Michonne's looks that she thought I was hiding the truth or she just wanted me to elaborate my answer. "I've tried but he just... rejects me."

I couldn't believe I was saying this to Michonne, I was feeling really embarrassed but it also felt good to tell someone. I had never had this kind of issues and I never had a friend to talk about them, I was glad Beth was gone now, I couldn't trust her with this.

"I'm sure he isn't rejecting you, maybe he thinks... I don't know, that it isn't the right time," Michonne said. "But don't you ever think he is rejecting you, he loves you."

"How do you know?" I asked with an eyebrow raised, Michonne just smiled at me.

"He told me when we went on that last run," she said. "He wanted to get back here as quickly as possible to tell you, said he was a fool for not saying it earlier."

"Did he really say that?" I asked her, feeling really happy.

"Yeah," she told me, offering me a smile.

I smiled back at her, feeling some strange warmness inside of me. I know he already said he loves me but hearing someone else say he does, just makes it all more real. I felt truly happy at Michonne's words and I got a huge urge to just go find Daryl and kiss him, but right then Beth came back and handed me Judith, so I guess that kiss was going to wait a bit.

Hello guys, how was your Halloween?

What do you think of TWD new episode? I sometimes want to just slap Carol, she will get herself killed if she keeps acting like this. Btw, next episode will be sick, poor Daryl :/

Btw, I just made a Glenn/Abraham tribute, I willl put the link on here but I'm not sure if it's going to work. Does anybody know why they don't work? Well, if you want to watch and the link doesn't work, look me up on youtube as Iamthemasterpiece

watch?v=u2Jfwx6xVW4


	14. Chapter 14 - Past

"The past beats inside me like a second heart."

– John Banville, The Sea

June 29th, 1997 – Thirteen years before the apocalypses

Six-year-old Cecilia was sat in front of her doll house that was almost as big as her. She had one blonde Barbie in her left hand and one brown-haired 'Ken' in her right hand.

It was Sunday, so the little girl was still in her green pyjamas, even when it was almost midday. There were more dolls inside her house, including two kids dolls, three dogs and two kittens.

After a while, Cecilia looked down at the dolls with her bright blue eyes and just sighed. She liked her dolls but didn't enjoy them for long.

Two years ago one of her cousins, Bobby, who was only two years older than her, gave her about fifty toy cars and she loved them ever since. Bobby's older brother, Andrew, gave her his old track race car after he got a new one for Christmas, Cecilia had it next to her doll house.

She smiled when she saw it and crawled towards it, making her beautiful golden curls bounce in front of her face, she sat in front of it, putting one curl behind her ear and then she grabbed the bag where she had all her toy cars.

Her favourite was a red Mini Cooper her mother had gotten her for her last birthday. She grabbed it as soon as she spotted the car and started playing with her toys.

When Carol opened the door of her only daughter's room, she saw her lying on her stomach, mumbling things as she played, she smiled at the little girl as she leant against the light green painted wall, it was previously painted lilac but Cecilia's favourite colour was green and Carol painted her room green after she turned five.

Carol watched her daughter for a few more minutes, loving how she was lost in her own world. She kept mumbling words Carol barely understood and heard. Carol decided she had intruded enough so she slowly closed the door and knocked, before opening it once again, pretending she hadn't been watching the little girl.

Carol opened the door quickly enough to see Cecilia turning her head to look at the door, and when she saw Carol she grinned, stood up and ran to the woman to give her a tight hug.

"Mummy! Mummy!" she exclaimed just before Carol wrapped her in her arms and slowly lifted her up and rested her on her hip as the girl had her small arms around her neck.

The girl was just above average in height, being the third tallest girl in her class but she was really thin and didn't weigh much, Carol could still carry her easily.

"What do you think if we get ready and go out for lunch with Aunt Lauren, and Bobby, Andy and Jennifer?" Carol asked her. "Would you like that Annie?"

It was not until years later when she stopped using her first name and started introducing herself with her second name 'Cecilia', she wanted a new start with a new name, so, during all her childhood and some of her teenage years she was either called Annika or any of its diminutives like Ann, Annie or Anna.

"Yes!" Cecilia, or Annika, as she was called then, exclaimed happily at her mother.

"Let's get ready then."

Carol's shirt was a bit big for her so when she bent down to put Annika back on the floor, the girl could see inside of it and saw a big purple bruise under her collarbone, her smile vanished and was replaced by a frown.

"How did you get that?" Annika asked as she pointed at the spot, Carol looked down and froze when she realized her bruise was revealed, she stood up quickly and made sure her shirt covered her bruise.

"It's nothing, darling," Carol said as she kissed the top of her head. ""Now get dressed or do you need help?"

"No, mummy, I can do it myself, I'm a big girl now."

"Of course you are."

Carol had been physically and mentally abused for quite a while, it started just about a year before she got pregnant, after she told Ed about it he promised to change and he really did but it didn't last forever. When Annika was around two the physical abuse started again, the mental started before Annika turned one, but about a year and a half ago it started to get worse and worse, he even hit his girl once, about a month ago, Carol had tried hard to not let it happen again.

Carol and Ed constantly argued, Ed always found something to get mad about. Carol tried to hide the beatings from her daughter. She never screamed or cried so Annika wouldn't hear and she always hid the bruises so she wouldn't see them.

But she could hear them argue, Annika usually gets in bed and hides under the covers and she closes her eyes tightly and covers her ears to stop that awful sound, sometimes she has also hears things breaking and loud noises like if something heavy falls but she never asks, she doesn't want her parents to know that she knows something is going on.

Annika, still with her mother's bruise on her mind, went to her wardrobe and grabbed a pair of jeans, clean underwear, a light blue T-shirt and a pair of white tennis shoes, the left one had lights every time she took a step.

She undressed and put on the clean clothes quickly, leaving her pyjamas on the floor, she had always been messy, something that always drives Carol crazy. She grabbed a brush and jogged to her parents' room, so Carol could do her hair.

The door was locked, frowning, she knocked on the door. Carol opened the door after about a minute. Annika handed Carol the brush and she immediately understood what Annika wanted. She told the girl to sit on her bed and then she sat behind her.

Carol had wavy hair, which barely reached her shoulders and Ed had straight hair but Annika inherited Carol's mother's lovely curls and Carol's father's hair colour, a light golden blonde shade. Carol was blonde as a kid too, but her hair was darker and now that she was an adult, her hair wasn't blonde anymore, it was brown.

Carol did a high ponytail with Annika's hair, checked her outfit and decided it was acceptable to go out, she just grabbed a jacket for each before walking out of the house to meet her brother, his wife and kids. Jennifer, his only daughter was only three months younger than Annika, but even so, she got along better with his male cousins, Andrew and Robert.

Carol didn't really like her daughter to eat junk food, especially when Ed only ate that and was at least thirty pounds overweight, but her brother had decided to take the kids to a McDonald's, so she had no choice but let Annika eat that crap.

"Anna, Anna!" Andy and Bobby exclaimed as soon as they saw the blonde girl.

Bobby had brown hair and the same eye colour as both Carol and Annika, his father didn't have those eyes but Carol's mother did. Andy had green bright eyes, very light blonde hair and freckles. Jennifer had dark blue eyes and dark brown curly hair.

"Where's Ed?" Carol's brother, Anthony, asked, he did it mostly out of politeness, he was glad he wasn't here, he never liked Ed, even when he didn't know about the abuse.

"Probably watching baseball with his friends," Carol replied, hiding her sadness.

The adults sat down to talked while the four kids went to the playground, Carol looked at her daughter, she was laughing and playing mostly with Bobby. Her perfect ponytail was now loose and going down, more to her left.

"Is everything okay, Carol?" Lauren, her sister-in-law, asked her worriedly. She had been quieter than usual.

"I don't know," she muttered, looking down at her half-eaten hamburger. "I'm pregnant, about three months."

"That's good, isn't it?" Anthony asked her with a small smile.

"We didn't want another kid, Ed isn't even happy about it," Carol told them. "And I'm scared, I don't want to lose this one as well."

Carol had had a miscarriage when Annika was only two years old. Carol didn't tell anyone she lost it due to the beatings that had just started again. She found out about the pregnancy a week before she lost it, the doctors claimed she was around two months and a half.

"That won't happen, Carol," Lauren exclaimed as she put her hand on top of Carol's. "Everything will be alright this time."

Carol knew she couldn't get pregnant again, not when Ed was so abusive and with the years she came to grips with the fact that Annika was going to be her only daughter but now that she was pregnant once again, she was torn. She didn't want to get rid of it but she knew the risk of losing it again was high, Ed had beat her so much more frequently lately.

"We also wanted to tell you something," Anthony nervously said some minutes later after the pregnancy topic was over. "We are going to Disney for this summer vacations and we were wondering if you could let us take Annie with us. Bobby and she are really close."

"But the holidays are only days away," Carol commented.

"We know, we are leaving on the first of August, so still a month to go," Lauren told her. "If you agree, we'll buy her ticket as soon as tomorrow."

"Wow, thank you a lot but I should talk with Ed first," Carol explained.

As the adults talked about the trip, the kids that now were in the ball pool were plotting to stay more time together, oblivious they were going to Disneyland in about a month. Bobby, who was the one with the idea, went to the slide and then ran to the table where his parents and aunt still were, he was followed closely by Annika, Andrew and finally Jennifer.

"Daddy?" Bobby asked a few minutes later, earning the attention of the three adults. "Can Anna come with us and sleep over?"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Carol exclaimed as she ran her hand on Bobby's head. "But she has school tomorrow, maybe next weekend."

Not long after, much to the kids' disapproval, lunch was over and everyone had to say good-bye. Annika was upset her mother didn't let her go with her cousins but she happy she could play with them, she almost never saw them.

"You had fun, darling?" Carol asked, once they were in the car, Annika was in the back seat, with her arms crossed, looking out of the window, she was obviously upset.

"Yeah," she muttered, not bothering to look at her mother.

"I know you wanted to go with them but you have school and daddy will be home soon, he will want to see you," Carol said in a kind voice but her daughter still looked upset. "We can go somewhere else next weekend and maybe you can sleep over at their house, just maybe, okay?"

"Really?" Annika asked, her lips slightly turning into a smile. Carol nodded. "Awesome."

"Hey, baby girl, today that you spent time with your cousins, do you think it's fun to have brothers and sisters?"

"Not really," Annika muttered. "Jenny is really annoying, do you know what she does? She hits herself or starts crying out of nowhere and blames Andy and Bobby to get them in trouble."  
"She does that?" Carol asked very surprised as she stopped at a red light, giving her time to turn to look at her girl, who nodded. "That's not nice."

"I know and it's similar with some of my friends," Annika said. "Kylie's brother always breaks her dolls and Ashley's sister once glued her hair, she's like twelve and not nice."

Carol bit her lip, she expected her to say she was a bit lonely and would be nice to have a little sibling but she was quite happy to be an only child. Carol decided this wasn't the time to tell her about her pregnancy, she was going to wait longer, which was probably the best. She could lose this baby too and if she did how would she explain it to Annika?

Carol decided to change the topic, asking her about school and her closest friends, Kylie and two boys, Alex and Jacob. Annika spent the whole ride back home talking about them and even told Carol about one prank they did last week on one of their teacher, Carol wasn't that pleased but she chuckled at the story plus her daughter's laugh made her laugh too and warmed her heart.

October 18th, 1997.

Carol was very happy and excited that she hadn't lost the baby and somehow Ed had been trying hard not to lose his temper as often, he was very affected when he heard that the other time Carol had a miscarriage due to the violence, he knew that but he still tried to blame her for what had happened, mostly to ease his guilt.

Carol was now six months and a half along and her belly was quite visible, she couldn't hide it anymore, except to one person, her daughter.

Carol knew what she thought about having a sibling so she had been keeping it from her, especially now that she had had such good times.

Ed took them to Chicago to visit his family once school was over, Annika had seven cousins there and she had a great time. Once they were back, Ed somehow allowed Carol's brother to take her to Disney with his family, she had the best two weeks ever, spending her holidays with her favourite cousin, Bobby.

She started first grade after the summer, where she made new friends and was having such an amazing time, Carol had never seen her daughter so happy that she couldn't bring herself to tell her that she was going to be a big sister soon.

The day before they had celebrated her birthday at school and then her family and neighbours continued the celebration at her house. Her birthday wasn't until October 31st, but with the years they had learnt not to celebrate it that day, no one actually shows up, so they organize a party for her either around 10 days before the actual date or after.

Carol had gotten her a new bike since the one she had was a bit small for her now, but she wasn't going to give it to her until her birthday, which was in thirteen days.

That morning Carol found her daughter sat on the floor of her room, playing with her new toys. Paper and boxes were still all over the place and she still hadn't opened them all. At the moment she was using a toy farm her grandfather had given her, the farm included a horse, some chickens, two pigs, a cow, the farmer and a truck.

"Hi, mummy," Annika muttered when she saw her mother by the door with a big smile on her lips. "Grandpa got me this."

Carol stepped inside and gave her a peck on the top of her head just before she sat on the bed, which was not made yet but Carol wasn't going to scold her for that today, she came here to talk to her and needed her full attention, which sometimes was hard because she was quite hyperactive.

"Darling, can I talk to you for a second?" Carol said in a soft tone, trying her best to hide how nervous she was.

"What is it?" Annika asked, not looking at her mother as she put the farmer inside the truck and played with it.

"Annie, just leave that, I need you to listen to me, okay?"

Annika muttered a vague 'okay' and left the truck on the floor and looked up at her mother, she wasn't that happy that her play time was interrupted but she listened anyway. Carol grabbed her arm and pulled her up, making her sit on the bed next to her.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, noticing Carol's smile was gone.

"No, sweetie, you didn't do anything, I just wanted to talk to you."

"Okay."

"Annika, darling," Carol muttered as she grabbed one of her daughter's hand. Annika already knew this was serious because Carol almost never calls her Annika, it's always Annie or Ann. "You are going to have a baby sister or baby brother soon, isn't that great?"

Carol smiled brightly at the blonde girl, trying to make everything cheerful but Annika just stared at her, frowning a bit. She said nothing for a long while, it was obvious she wasn't happy. She removed her hand from Carol's and crossed her arms in front of her, almost glaring at her mother.

"I don't want that," she muttered in a low tone as she looked down at her lap.

"It's going to be awesome, Annika. You will have someone to play with, it will be fun."

One of her friends had a one-year-old sister and she had been at his house when the baby just started crying no stop, then his other sister, who was four, started crying as well, it was crazy. She didn't want that.

"Jacob's sisters aren't fun," she muttered.

Brothers and sisters were nothing more and nothing less than annoying. All she knew was that babies cry all the time, they don't speak, walk or go to the bathroom. And they demand attention all the time, poor Jacob barely gets attention now that he has two little sisters. She didn't want that, she wanted her parents' attention all by herself.

Plus once they grow up they steal your toys, break them, keep them and do anything to get the older siblings in trouble, like Jennifer does with Bobby and Andy.

"You will see once I have this baby, I agree that siblings can be a pain in the a... uh, well, yeah. I understand that, I lived it with Anthony and I was the younger one but they can also become your best friends, your allies. You love Bobby, don't you?" Annika nodded. "He's your cousin and siblings are something like that, you'll see."

"What if they are like Jennifer?"

"I can assure you this baby won't be like Jennifer, besides, she's nice, she's just... spoiled. She has two older brothers, she needs to survive, you know?"

Annika didn't say anything else, she was pretty upset. She never thought she would be in a situation like this and she hated it. She wasn't a spoiled girl but she usually had Carol's attention whenever she wanted and she didn't want that to change.

After Carol left, Annika closed the door and sat with her back against it, resting her elbows on her knees. She wasn't in the mood to play anymore, she would throw everything all over the room if her father wasn't in the house, she would get in trouble for making such a mess, so instead, she asked for permission to play outside with her neighbour Tommy, luckily Tommy's mother took care of them as they played outside, allowing Annika to spend some time away from her mother.

January 03, 1998.

Carol was just a week away from her due date, she had found out the gender a month ago but didn't tell her daughter, knowing it will only make her even more upset.

Two weeks after Halloween and Annika's birthday they moved into a bigger house, it was closer to Carol's brother and to one of Ed's best friend so it was a win-win situation for everyone, except for Annika, who was going to go to another school this semester because the one she used to attend was now a bit too far.

"We can take care of her," Anthony assured her little sister. He and Lauren were visiting Carol, making sure everything was okay. "So you and Ed can focus on the new baby."

Anthony had offered to let Annika stay with him and his family for around two or three weeks while Carol settles with the baby. It had been a couple of rough weeks for her. Annika hadn't been going to school because of Christmas holidays and Carol was so tired, she didn't want to admit it but the pregnancy was taking a toll on her, especially with Annika's attitude and behaviour lately.

Annika was usually a sweet, nice little girl. She often has lots of friends and is well liked by everyone, including her teachers but ever since she was told about the new baby she started to behave bad in both, school and home, but only when Ed is at work, leaving Carol alone in the house. She had started to be rude, not only to Carol but to teachers and her classmates.

Carol knew her daughter was just craving attention and that phase was going to be over eventually but she was so exhausted that she didn't need more things to deal with, so she gladly accepted Anthony's offer.

Annika's behaviour was more than evident when they moved and she saw the room of the new baby, Lauren helped Carol painting it and decorating it. Annika's room in this house was painted white and she hated it, she asked Carol to paint it green but she said she would do it after the baby was born, making Annika really upset and even if she didn't want to admit it, jealous.

But it was not until Christmas when her behaviour worsened a lot. The baby wasn't even here but she noticed how all her relatives, even the ones she didn't even recognize, gave the baby presents, lots of them and often talked about it, making her feel not important any more.

Annika was used to the attention from the adults. She was a gorgeous girl, her beautiful face and blonde lovely curls attracted people's attention but it was her light blue eyes and cheeky smile that captivated them. Plus she was a nice and outgoing girl, people just adored her.

But that day, even when people paid attention to her they mostly talked to Carol about the baby and for once, Annika didn't have a smile on her face during Christmas. She barely spoke when she was talked to.

She and Bobby planned to bring the Christmas tree down but it was too heavy and big and they were caught doing it by Lauren, they were grounded for the rest of the night.

"I don't know what to do with her," Carol admitted. "It's like my little girl is gone and replaced by a spoiled brat. She has never been like this."

"It's not easy," Lauren exclaimed. "It will slowly go away, you just have to be firm and let her know that what she's doing is wrong. And also show her that you love her, that this baby won't change that because that's what she thinks. She believes she's going to be replaced."

"Do you think it's a good idea to take her with you? What if she thinks I'm giving up on her?"

"We will make sure she doesn't think that. We will just make her have a good time.

The adults looked at their kids, who were playing in the living room, while they were drinking coffee and eating some cake in the dining room. Annika was laughing and playing with Bobby. She hadn't laughed like that in months and Carol knew then that if she spent some days with Bobby while she was taking care of the new baby it would be okay, even better for her than to let her stay at home.

It was then when Carol felt a sharp piercing pain in her lower abdomen, making her drop the fork. She tried to ignore it but a second wave of pain overwhelmed her only some minutes after the first. She clenched her stomach and closed her eyes tightly as she felt the pain a fourth time.

"I think the baby's coming," she muttered weakly, making her brother start to panic.

"I'll drive you!" he exclaimed quickly, setting his half-empty cup of coffee on the table.

"No!" Lauren said quickly. "She'll never make it to the hospital if you drive, I'll take her and you stay here with the kids, maybe call Ed to let him know."

Ed was usually gone all day on Saturdays, she spent half the day working and the other half drinking beer with his friends. Luckily it was still early so he wasn't drunk yet or they hoped so.

Anthony called him and told him Lauren had taken Carol to the hospital while he was looking after Annika, whose happy mood was over as soon as she was told where Carol was going and why. She went to her room and lied down on the bed, not wanting to play anymore.

She spent that night at her uncle's house, sharing the room with Bobby. She was told the baby was born around 5:00 p.m. but she wasn't told if it was a girl or a boy, Carol wanted to be the one to tell her that.

It was not until Monday, two days after Carol gave birth that Anthony took his niece to the hospital. She didn't want to go and refused to walk, so Anthony had to picked her up so he could get her out of the car. Anthony carried her all the way to Carol's room, she was on the bed with the newborn in her arms. Carol smiled when she saw her older daughter even she had her face buried in the crook of Anthony's neck.

"Annie," Carol muttered. "Won't you give me a kiss? I've missed you."

The girl shook her head but didn't look up at Carol, who sighed. Anthony offered her a sympathetic smile. Annika was taking it worse than they ever imagined.

"You have a sister, Annie," Carol told her in a cheerful way as she looked down at her newborn. "Her name is Sophia."

Some minutes later a nurse walked into the room, took the baby in her arms and walked out with Sophia in her arms. It was then when Anthony finally set Annika on the floor, who just wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head in his stomach, refusing to look at Carol.

Anthony forced her to turn around and face her mother, Annika just looked at the ground. He then pulled her closer to the bed, so Carol could reach her hand and grabbed it, Anthony noticed how tensed the little girl got, making him frown.

"I love you, Annika" Carol said as she kissed her forehead. "Never forget that."

Annika still wouldn't look at her mother, Carol's smile slightly faded but she was still happy to see her. When Carol was about to give up to try to talk to Annika, she unexpectedly took a big step forward and jumped on Carol, wrapping her small arms around Carol's neck. The woman was so shocked, she hadn't been hugged for months and didn't really think the girl was going to hug her any time soon. Carol's eyes watered, she was super sensible, as she hugged her little girl tightly.

"I love you too, mummy," she mumbled, Carol barely heard her but she was glad she did. Carol only tightened her hold on her.

"You'll stay a few days with Uncle Anthony, alright?" Annika nodded. "The baby won't do anything else than cry so you'll do better with him, okay? Don't think I'm giving you away, okay?"

The girl said nothing but she nodded at Carol. She was actually happy she got to spend time Bobby and Andy, but still she pretended to be really upset about it. She was glad she didn't have to spend time with the baby.

April 10th, 1998

Annika got back home around 5:00 in the afternoon when Jacob's mother dropped her at her house after she and Jacob spent the day at Jacob's house once school was over. Since Annika moved, they hadn't seen each other often but they had remained friends despite that.

As soon as she walked in she heard her now three-month-old sister crying. She rolled her eyes and went to her room, letting her backpack drop to the ground as Carol thanked Jacob's mother, Alicia. Annika closed the door of her room and lied down on her bed.

Annika still hadn't come to grips about being a big sister. She still wasn't happy about it and now she barely saw her father, who now spent days, even a whole week with his friends so he wouldn't have to deal with his baby. Carol hated that he was acting like that but at least she hadn't been beaten, she barely saw him.

Annika still saw her father as her hero and hated not having him around. He was never that affectionate but she loved him. He had hit her only two or three times but it wasn't that bad, Carol got in the way in time and sent her to her room; children are forgiving and Annika soon left those isolated events in the past, of course that in the near future those events wouldn't be so isolated.

Sophia kept crying, Annika could perfectly heard it even when the door was closed and she had her pillow over her head, trying to stop the sound but it was in vain, with a sigh Annika threw her pillow at the wall out of frustration and sat up and got out of bed, storming towards Sophia's room. She pushed the door further opened and walked in, leaning on the side of the crib looking at the now red-faced baby.

"Shhh!" Annika muttered in a desperate tone, trying to get her to stop crying "Shh, Sophia, just stop crying."

Sophia was a beautiful baby and so different from her older sister. She had medium blonde hair and apparently it was going to be straight. Her eyes were a blueish grey colour but as she got older they were getting darker, Carol believed Sophia's eyes were going to be green but she couldn't be sure. Sophia was a mix of Carol and Ed while Annika was a mix of Carol and her family, she inherited almost nothing from her father.

It seemed like forever to Annika, hoping for her mother to get Sophia to stop crying, she was still talking to Alicia. Annika sighed and lowered the side of the crib and carefully held the little baby. Annika sat down on the floor in the middle of the room and attempted to silence her and after about a minute Sophia stopped crying.

Annika had refused to hold her sister, even refused to hold her hand or touch her in any way but she was desperate and cranky because of Sophia's cries, she had to do something. Sophia reached for Annika's hand and managed to hold one of her fingers. Annika felt something inside of her, something good and in a way she didn't like it, she hated Sophia and she couldn't afford to get attached but right now her heart was melting. But that was something she would never admit.

Carol walked inside the door, looking shocked at her two daughters. She covered her mouth to stop the gasp from escaping as she saw Annika holding little Sophia in her arms, something she hadn't done yet.

Annika felt her presence and looked up at Carol's direction. Her face turned into a frown immediately and demanded Carol to take Sophia, Carol didn't. Instead, she sat in front of Annika, stroking her shoulder.

"I just wanted her to stop crying," the girl muttered in a mad tone. "My head hurts."

"It's okay to open your heart, Ann," Carol told her.

Carol crawled closer to Annika, who kept telling Carol to take Sophia from her. Carol wrapped her arms around the girl, ignoring her requests. She kissed the top of her head and enjoyed this moment, having both her daughters together, something she hadn't had the chance to experience yet.

"I love you, Annie," Carol whispered. "I love you both so much."

So, a little insight into Cecilia's past. I hope that even when there was no Daryl and no action, you guys like the chapter.

Since February or so I had stopped writing this story, right when they find Gabriel and stay at the church. I tried for two weeks to write and it wasn't until three days ago that I finally could. I'm so happy I got the inspiration again.

Anyway, please comment :) Thank you!


	15. Chapter 15 - Listening To The Heart

"Only love of a good woman will make a man question every choice, every action.

Only love makes a warrior hesitate for fear that his lady will find him cruel.

Only love makes a man both the best he will ever be, and the weakest.

Sometimes all in the same moment. -Wicked "

– Laurell K. Hamilton

Daryl's POV

Three more weeks passed, things at the prison were almost as good as they were before the virus spread, which was seven weeks ago, luckily no one else got sick and the sick ones recovered entirely, including Glenn and Cecilia.

Speaking of her, she had gotten better, mentally. I had made sure to not let her slip and now time has also helped. Things improved a bit when she was informed that Sean was gone, he was killed not long after she said she wanted him gone.

Rick and I talked about the way to go for days, we just didn't want to put a bullet in his brain and end his misery just like that, we wanted him to suffer until his last breath so we actually decided to feed him to the walkers after cutting his dick off and then we killed those walkers and just left him there to suffer and after a while, we finally killed Sean, who had parts of him missing but he was still alive after the walkers took bites of him. We decided to not let him turn in case Cecilia could see him, that would probably make her lose all the progress she had made lately.

Currently, I watched the blonde that was across the room, she was talking to Rick, both had smiles on their faces. Anyone could think that she was completely back to normal, that she was perfectly okay but I knew she was still affected.

She has been trying to never be alone, if I'm not around she looks for Michonne, Rick, Maggie or Glenn or even Sasha, sticking close to us. She has been asked to help killing the walkers through the fence but she always refuses, not wanting to go near other people, not even when we are around, she also has avoided being too close to the gate, fearing she can be taken again.

I'm glad she's being cautious but she's being paranoid. It had gotten to the point that she doesn't even go to the bathroom alone, she doesn't go showering if someone is not there guarding the door, she always asks a girl to be there, especially Michonne.

Today Rick and I were going on a run, when Cecilia found out she wanted really bad to come with us and she begged both of us to let her come along but I couldn't let her come, not this time. We argued for about twenty minutes until she just stormed out of my cell and spent the rest of the morning with Michonne, Rick and Glenn, even trying to persuade Rick to let her come but he told her he needed her to take care of Carl in his absence.

I knew Cecilia was terrified of being left alone because of what happened the last time I went on a run and she stayed, it made me a bit uneasy as well but I trusted Maggie, Glenn and Michonne, I knew they wouldn't let anything bad to happen to her, especially if they were around her all the time.

I went for my arrows, crossbow and gun and my backpack, we were going to leave in ten minutes. When I went down the stairs again I caught Cecilia already looking at me, she looked away as I reached the bottom of the stairs and said something to Michonne, who was in front of her.

"I'll borrow her for a second," I muttered as I put my hand on Cecilia's back and guided her a few steps away from Michonne.

When we got to the corner of the room, Cecilia leant her back against the grey wall, she crossed her arms and almost glared at me as her blue eyes looked into my own, I sighed, hating her to be upset at me, especially when I hadn't done anything wrong.

"Cecilia," I said softly, leaning forward a bit so our faces were closer. "Trust me when I say you can't come this time, you'll be okay. No one will let something bad happening to you."

"What if they can't stop it?" she muttered in a very low tone.

"I'll be back in less than three hours. He's gone Cecilia, no one in here will harm you in any way," I told her, daring to rest my hand on her shoulder and slightly gave it a squeeze. "If it makes you feel safer, I can lock you in your cell."

"No," she said in a firm tone as she shook her head. "I don't want to be locked like if I'm the bad one here. Just go... I suppose I can survive a few hours without you and Rick."

I leant even further and pressed my lips against hers, I could tell she had a hard time resisting me because eventually she kissed me back. I broke the kiss and pulled her into a hug, pecking the top of her head as I held her close to me.

"I'll be back soon," I whispered as I loosened my grip on her. "Promise."

I completely let go of her, starting to walk away from her. As I was taking a sigh, I felt someone grabbing my wrist, spinning me around and soon I felt warm, soft lips on mine, instinctively I kissed her back until she pulled away. I couldn't help but smile, loving the way her lips feel against mine and knowing that she wasn't as upset at me.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you more," I muttered with a smirk.

With a final peck, I walked away and this time she didn't stop me, even when part of me was hoping she would. On my way to the car I spotted Carl talking to his father, who was leant against the car. Carl turned around and started to leave when I stopped him from walking any further, I crouched a bit so I was at his level.

"Hey, Carl, would you take care of Cecilia while we are gone?" I asked, making a small smile appear on Carl's lips. "She's always asked to look after you but this time you should look after her, not the other way around."

"My dad just told me that, did you talk about it or what?"

"Not really," I said, a bit surprised. "So, will ya?"

"Of course."

I stood straight again and then ruffled Carl's long brown hair, making him grunt and slap my hand away while I just chuckled and got in the driver seat, Rick had already started the engine. Maggie opened the gate for us and I drove out of the prison, holding the wheel tightly, I was getting a bit nervous.

"It's been almost two months," Rick said about ten minutes after we left the prison. "Maybe pushing her a bit out of her comfort zone will help her get better, returning to be the Cecilia we all know, not this scared mouse she has become."

Cecilia was still strong in every way, I was sure of that. If walkers were after her or she was cornered in a building, I knew she would fight and be able to escape but she wasn't afraid of those disgusting things, they weren't the problem, she was scared of something more disgusting but he was long gone now.

"I suppose you're right. If I'm always there she will always hide behind me and I will gladly let her. I have to let go too." I sighed. I wanted to be there to protect her, to keep her away from any evil thing, to just be her knight in shining armour but deep down I knew that wasn't like the Cecilia I knew, she could protect herself, the only knight she needed to rescue her was herself.

I hated that I needed to give her some space so she can become independent again, she couldn't rely on me for everything even when I would love that. She needed to stop being afraid of walking out of block C by herself, or being left alone with Judith, I understood this was hard for her but she needed to get her thoughts together and stop fearing that Sean was going to get her again because he was dead.

"Are you sure about this?" Rick asked me, I knew he was referring to what we were doing.

"I am, as sure as I can be," I muttered, slightly glancing at him.

"Well, I'm proud of you, Daryl."

Cecilia's POV

It had been around two hours since Daryl and Rick left, I would lie if I say I didn't freak out as soon as the car was out of my sight but now I was a bit more calm, I was better.

I was with Carl in our kitchen inside block C, we were just talking, for some reason he had refused to leave my side, I didn't mind, though. I love having him around.

I looked over my shoulder and saw Oliver, two tables away from ours. He hadn't been himself since Teresa died and now with the Se... him, incident, he just got worse. He kept mostly to himself and avoided any kind of eye contact. I felt sad for him.

Teresa was his girlfriend for about three years, if you counted the months after the outbreak started, and he lost her. And even after everything that happened between Sean and Oliver, they got over it and got very close, they were best friends and now Oliver lost him as well, leaving him all alone.

He had always been my friend but lately the blond man hadn't really even talked to me, it seemed like since we got separated all those months ago our bond was almost broken, we were friendly towards each other but all the trails of our friendship were just gone and with this, that bond was completely broken and buried deep down.

A part of me wanted to go talk to him because I missed him but the other part wouldn't dare to, so I stayed in my seat, just glancing at him every once in a while. I moved on after my sister died, after Teresa died, after Andrea and Merle died and I was working on it now that Sean was gone, but if I got over all that, he can as well.

"Cici?" Carl muttered shyly, which was a bit out of the ordinary. I only looked oddly at him.

"Yes, Carl?"

"Do you... Do you think I'll ever have the chance to have a girlfriend?" he asked me as he scratched the back of his neck. His cheek turned a crimson colour and he dropped his gaze to his hands, he was nervously playing with his fingers, making me smile. "Do you think I will even have my first kiss?"

"When we first met I think you told me you would never like girls," I said in a teasing tone. "What happened to that?"

Carl was fourteen years old now and in normal circumstances he would probably have a crush on some girl of his class, or a neighbour or just someone, but the girl closest to his age was Beth and then me and then probably his sister.

"Nothing, I just wondered," Carl told me. "I was just curious about how it felt to kiss someone."

"Why the sudden curiosity?"

"Don't laugh, okay? But the other night I had a dream in which I kissed this girl and well... even when it was a weird feeling, I sort of felt it and it felt... wet and weird. I don't know. So it just got me thinking, that's all."

I smiled at the young boy. I remember I used to have dreams like that before I had my first kiss and he was right... they felt wet.

"I can't really explain how it feels," I said to him sadly. "I guess you just have to experience it yourself."  
"If I ever get to do that..." Carl said with a shrug. "It must be nice, though. You and Daryl do it all the time."

"We don't do it all the time," I exclaimed, blushing more than I liked. "But yeah, it feels nice. How do you even know, though? We never kiss in front of people."

"Well... I have to make sure things are okay, you know?" he said, getting nervous again. "Just to check I don't have to intervene."

"Carl! You spy on us!?"

"Just for the right reasons, I got you two together, I have to make sure you stay together. There's nothing to do anymore besides that. If I had known I wouldn't have gotten you together so quickly. It was fun to plan and seeing how things worked and all."

"What am I going to do with you?" I sighed.

"Love me?" he asked innocently as he shrugged. I shook my head as I sighed again.

"You are lucky to be so adorable," I told him as I messed up his hair.

Right then, Oliver stood up and walked out of the room with loud footsteps. He was scary and honestly I was afraid he was going to become crazy and do something like Sean, everyone else was scared but not for that reason, I heard Hershel and Maggie talking the other day, they think he's going to kill himself that's why he isn't allowed to carry a gun or even a knife.

"He won't hurt you, you know that, right?" Carl muttered but I didn't respond, I still could hear his footsteps as he went to his cell. "He was your friend before this, he wouldn't do anything. Besides, if he even tries he has to go through me first." I smiled at that. "And Daryl, and my dad, Maggie, Glenn, Michonne, just everyone. He just won't hurt you."

"Thanks, Carl."

Daryl's POV

"There," Rick exclaimed, pointing to a shop to our left. I smiled and parked the car in front of the store. I put the keys in my pocket and then got out of the car, followed by Rick.

The place was almost intact, I guess people now weren't interested in these things anymore, they were pretty useless now.

But some people probably thought that this problem was going to be over soon and broke into other shops of this kind and stole pretty much everything, thinking they were going to get a lot of money, if they lived long enough they probably got really disappointed to realize money and such things weren't worth anything anymore.

"Come on," Rick told me as he made sure there were no walkers inside.

Rick broke the glass with a kick and then removed the remaining glass from it so we could go through it, luckily it was big enough for us to pass through, we didn't even have to crouch or anything.

The place was untouched, everything was in its place, but everything was covered in dust, I guess this happens when you leave a place untouched for almost two years.

I awkwardly walked around the place, not knowing how or where to start. This was foreign to me and I didn't have a clue of what I was doing. A part of me wanted it to be like before, that there would be a person behind the counter that would be willing to help you out even when I considered them annoying before.

I looked at Rick, who was standing by the broken window, making sure we were alone here and we wouldn't have unexpected 'visitors' but I knew deep down that he was probably giving me some space, giving me privacy.

Never in my life I thought I would be doing this, I never thought I would actually walked into a jewellery store because I needed something, not because I wanted to steal an item, not that I have ever done that.

I barely had money to buy myself food and gas for my truck, much less to buy jewels, I didn't even have a girl to give jewels to back in the day. Besides, I wasn't that kind of man, I thought it was stupid but this was different, I wasn't here to get Cecilia something meaningless.

The idea got inside my head even before she was taken, even before people got sick but I kept it at the back of my head because I knew it was stupid and unnecessary, I knew I didn't need to do this but a part of me wanted to and after all that happened I decided to just do it.

I knew no one would be encouraging this, or even accepting or letting me do this, not even Michonne, but I knew Rick would, so that's why I asked him to come with me, not only for safety reasons but also because I needed him in so many ways right now that I couldn't even explain, it was so weird that I needed someone like that. The others back at the prison thought we were just getting stuff for Judith.

"Everything okay?" Rick asked when he noticed I had moved more than a few inches in the last ten minutes or so.

"Yeah, well maybe, actually no... I have no idea what to do, where to look. I just don't know." I sighed as I admitted it, I never liked to tell people stuff like this because I felt exposed and I had always done things myself, never needing help from someone else.

"Come," Rick said as he walked further into the store and looked down at the glass counters that let us see the jewels inside. At the very back though was what I came looking for.

I looked down as I rested my elbows on the glass, bending down a bit so I could have a closer look. Rick moved to the left so he could help me look, all the things I saw were beautiful but there was nothing that made me feel like that certain piece was the one.

"Rick," I spoke, not looking up at the blue-eyed man. "You already went through this, how did you do it?"

I heard Rick chuckled as I took a small, simple ring with my big and dirty hand. It was cute but not what I was looking for so I put it back down.

"Well, my sister helped me to be honest. It happened maybe seventeen years ago, I was so young and I had no idea what I was doing," Rick confessed. He chuckled as he stopped looking and he closed his eyes as he was remembering. "She took me to this store and the woman there showed me so many rings it overwhelmed me but then I saw... the one, you know? But it was so expensive, I just couldn't pay it. My parents had to give me money because my sister told them how much I wanted that ring, it was ridiculous. It wasn't even for me and I wanted it so bad. She loved it probably more than I did... Lori, she wouldn't take it off. That made it all worth it."

"What about the next part, you know? What did you do?" I asked nervously, I tried to hide the fact that was making me uneasy but Rick could tell.

"I took her out for dinner, we normally did that but this was a fancier restaurant and instead of dropping her off at her house we walked around this park close by. We were in front of this statue that was there and I just knelt on one knee and asked her, just like that. Simple, cheesy and now that I think about it, pathetic but she said yes, which is what matters," Rick finished with a chuckle.

"Right," I muttered, chuckling too, but mine was a nervous chuckle. I never thought I would be like this over this kind of things, actually I never thought I would be going through this kind of situation.

"Daryl, look, don't be nervous about it, just ask her, I'm sure she will say yes. She loves you."

"I know, it's just... I feel like I'm rushing things and that everything will get awkward and eventually come to an end. I mean, we haven't even been together for a whole year and after everything that happened lately, what if she hasn't recovered and she isn't ready for this?" I asked, turning to face Rick, who was already looking at me. "She almost died and was abused by that fucking idiot and her mum is not around anymore, I just don't want to mess more things for her."

"If you feel it's not the right time, then be patient and wait until you think it's right," Rick said as he took two steps towards me. "You told me about this weeks ago, which means that you have had this on your mind for quite a while, you want to do this and it might be unexpected but maybe this is what Cecilia needs. Something happy, something that will give her strength to carry on."

"I hope you are right," I mumbled, still unsure.

"Look, life is not what it used to be. People went on dates, did romantic stuff and were together for a while before even thinking about getting married but now the closest thing to a date is being on the tower keeping watch at the same time and as we just witnessed, life is so fragile. We don't have the luxury of hesitating, of thinking things twice, because once we make up our minds, it might be too late," he told me as he put his hand over my shoulder. "Look at me for example, I loved Lori with all my heart, even after what she did. But I was too busy trying to keep everyone alive that I... neglected her. I wanted to kiss her and hold her and tell her that I still loved her but I couldn't, I was too hurt, especially because I had to kill my best friend. I couldn't even look her in the eye and I kept making excuses to not be around her and I couldn't do all the things that I wanted to do, the things that my anger and resentment stopped me from doing. She was gone and it was too late."

"I'm sorry, man," I muttered. "You are right. You just have to do what you feel like doing, no second thoughts, no waiting until tomorrow, because there might not be a tomorrow."  
Rick nodded at me and went back to look down at the jewels and I did the same, every once in a while Rick would show me something he found cute but still I hadn't seen anything that screamed to me that it was the right one.

When I first got the idea... the feeling of wanting to propose to Cecilia, I was unsure of it and ignored it at first but the feeling just got stronger. I talked to Rick and would hint it but he never caught on.

I had told Rick about it probably two or three weeks before all the chaos but it was exactly the morning we found out about the virus and people dying and turning in Block D that I told Rick I had made up my mind and I wanted to look for a ring. It was the morning right after Cecilia had told me she loved me when she thought I was sleeping. He encouraged me to keep with it and Rick actually got happy with the things I told him, I said I was going to discuss it with Carol but I never got the chance.

Actually, now that Carol was gone I felt obliged to ask Rick for permission to marry Cecilia. He was a fatherly figure to her and I knew Cecilia loved him as a father. Rick smiled and gave me his blessing and now he was here, helping me with this when no one back in the prison knew what we were really doing, especially Carl, he would get so excited that something would give him away, if he just didn't spill anything, which I think he eventually would, at least to Michonne or Glenn.

"If it serves of anything," Rick said suddenly after a long silence. "Glenn proposed to Maggie after they both were kidnapped and you know what happened to them. He asked her right in the middle of this war with the Governor. Those were hard times and look at them now. Maggie was really affected and it took her time to get over it but she did. They both did. Like I said, maybe it's what Cecilia needs, what the two of you need."

"Yeah," I muttered, not knowing what else to say. I really couldn't do anything with deep talks.

I kept looking and looking. I was actually getting a bit discouraged that I wasn't finding anything that I just loved, nothing was standing out for me. I sighed out of frustration when I just saw it.

I crouched as I took the silver-coloured ring in my hand.

The ring had a big diamond in the centre, as the rest, but there were small white and light green stones covering most of it. The ring was uncommon, which was what I liked plus green was Cecilia's favourite colour, this was definitely the one.

"I found it, Rick," I told him as I showed him the ring. He looked at it quickly before giving it back to me as a smiled formed in his lips.

But immediately after that, Rick rushed me to get back to the car. We had taken too long in there. When we walked outside we saw about ten walkers coming our way, we hadn't even heard or seen them before. Rick got into the driver seat while I got in the passenger seat this time, as we agreed we would before all of this. I handed him the keys quickly, before any of them got to the car.

We didn't shoot or stab any walker but Rick actually ran two over, making blood splash all over the place but we didn't stay long enough to watch it.

"That was close," Rick commented about two minutes later. "I'm glad we came out of there without a single stain of blood in my clothes."

"Yeah," I agreed. Sometimes it was better just to run and not get your hands dirty.

I raised my hand as once again I looked at the ring, it was just perfect. I knew Cecilia would love it. I was actually so excited about this, I wish Merle would be here, even when he would just mock me for this but I knew he would be happy, he liked Cecilia and she liked him. Normally, people didn't like him but Cecilia was different, she was able to see beyond his flaws and rude attitude and got on his good side.

"You better start thinking about how you are going to ask her," Rick told me with a smile on his lips.

"Rick?"

"Hmm?"  
"Thanks for coming with me," I told him. "No one else would have agreed to come on this crazy run with me."

"That's what we do," Rick told me, allowing himself to glance at me for a second before he looked back at the road as he kept one hand on the wheel. "We support each other."

Hello guys, who watched this week's episode? There were two parts that really broke my heart. I won't get into details for the people who haven't watched it but it was Enid, and Rick talking to Michonne at the end of the episode.

I have a question to all of you. In season 5, when Daryl goes with Carol to Atlanta to look for Beth, should Cecilia go instead of Carol, or should she go along with the two of them or should they just disappear and Cecilia has no idea where they are and she gets mad when Daryl is back? What do you think will be best?

And pleaseeeee tell me what you think about Daryl is thinking about doing :D


	16. Chapter 16 - Freeing From the Past

"We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it."

Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here for?

"They are back!" Michonne exclaimed happily to me, Carl and I had gone back to my room to rest for a bit. Rick and Daryl took more than the three hours they claimed they were going to take.

I sat up quickly and got up. I smiled at Michonne before running down the stairs, Carl following right behind me. I opened the door of block C and saw Daryl getting out of the car, Rick was already out, talking to Glenn, who probably was the one who opened the gate for them.

I couldn't help but run towards Daryl, I knew I was being over dramatic and it wasn't like they had left for a week or even more than a day but I hadn't been away from Daryl since that horrible day. Daryl smiled at me when he saw me and opened his arms wide for me, our bodies collided as we wrapped our arms around each other, Daryl lifted me up effortlessly and instinctively my legs wrapped around his waist, I leant down and pressed my lips against his warm ones as he spun me around.

We really weren't into public display of affection, we didn't feel comfortable doing it, especially when my mother was around but right now I just didn't care and apparently Daryl didn't either. Besides, the only people here were Glenn, Rick, Carl and Michonne and none of them could mind less what we did.

"See? I said I'd be back soon," Daryl told me as he stopped the kiss and looked into my eyes, he was smiling.

"I still worried about you," I muttered.

"There's no need."

Daryl kissed me one more time before setting me back on the floor but still he didn't let go of me. He cupped my face and brought his lips to my forehead before kissing me on the lips once again, when I pulled away I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers to go back inside the prison. I noticed then that the others were gone by now. There were some people killing walkers through the fence but they really weren't paying attention to us.

"If you are going to welcome me like this every time I come from runs, then I'll go on them more often," Daryl said with a smirk.

"Oh no, I won't stay one more time."

"Think at this like we're even," Daryl said and I only raised my eyebrows at him as we started walking towards the prison. "You went on runs with Glenn all the time, leaving me here to worry about you."

"I want to go out there," I admitted. "I need to, even if it's for nothing important."

"If you want," Daryl started. "We could go on my bike for a bit, just to have a break from this, if you want. We won't go anywhere specific, just... out."

"That sounds nice," I said smiling. "I have never been so excited about going on your bike."

"I know." Daryl chuckled. "But we can't go today, I'm a bit tired and we don't have much light time left."

"Alright," I said a bit disappointed.

Daryl and I walked to Daryl's cell, which now has mostly been shared by the two of us. We hadn't slept apart from each other since I got back to block C. At first, I was scared of sleeping alone and Daryl felt better to have me where he could see me and then it just become a habit. My cell was just used now to keep my clothes and my stuff.

Daryl lied down on the far left side of his bed, leaving enough space for me, I smiled and lied down next to him, on my side while he was on his back. I rested my arm around Daryl's middle, seconds later he rested his hand on top of mine.

Daryl had actually been thinking about getting a bigger mattress, like Glenn and Maggie did several months ago but we hadn't done it yet, maybe we could go soon.

"So, you found what you were looking for?" I asked, closing my eyes. My head was on top of his muscled arm and his hand was playing with my messy curls.

"No." He sighed. "We didn't."

"That's a shame," I muttered. "Maybe, if you want to look for whatever you were looking for again, I could go with you this time."

"Uh, I'm not sure if we will go but if we do, I'll let you know."

Minutes later I opened my eyes after having a short dream with Teresa and Oliver, we were back in our apartment deciding what to eat for dinner. Oliver wanted something simple while Teresa was craving Chinese food, she turned to look at me with her beautiful light green-hazel eyes to try to convince me to side with her but I was with Oliver on this.

During that time I received a call from my mother, surprisingly our chat was nice and apparently in my dream things between us were okay, she was telling me she couldn't wait to see me next weekend, my father and Sophia were anxious too and in my dream I was excited to see them too, instead of dreading it like I was always did, I loved Sophia but seeing her meant seeing my parents too.

Daryl and I took another nap for around an hour, I hadn't done much today so I wasn't really tired and wanted to get up but as soon as I tried, Daryl put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him.

"Let me go, Daryl," I muttered.

"Nope," Daryl mumbled in a sleepy voice. He brought his face closer to me and softly kissed my right shoulder.

I wasn't sure what had gotten into him, but for the last two or three days Daryl had gotten a lot more affectionate towards me. He had been kissing me more, holding me in his arms more often and lately he had stopped worrying so much about the others and had stolen a kiss here and there in front of them.

I won't really complain because I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it but I just can't help but wonder what had gotten into him, what had changed in him.

I could assume it was because of what happened to me but if that would be the case then that behaviour would have started at least three or four weeks ago but it didn't, maybe he thought I was a bit damaged after the whole thing and I wasn't ready for it until now, just maybe.

"Stay," Daryl added before I could say something else.

"As much as I want to, Daryl," I said, turning around to face him. "I need to get up and do something, maybe use my crossbow for a bit."

"Cecilia," Daryl said softly, finally opening his blue eyes that I adore and that I get lost in. "You know I love you right?"

"Yeah, I do and I love you too," I said, pecking his lips. "Why are you asking me this?"

"Just want you to know that because it's true," he said, biting his lip. "I love you like I have never loved anyone."

"You do?" I asked in shock. I always believed the person he loved the most was his brother.

"Yeah, in a way you taught me how to love," Daryl whispered and I could see his cheeks turning a bright crimson colour. "You make me feel a happiness I had never felt before."

Daryl didn't allow me to say anything else to him, instead he pressed his lips against mine and slowly deepened the kiss, I smiled into the kiss as I kept up with him, wrapping an arm around his neck, tangling my fingers in the tips of his brown hair.

"Don't even mention that I have said the corniest thing ever," Daryl muttered before pecking my lips again. "I know I did and I don't want to hear you say it."

"I love you, Daryl," I said to him as I pulled away a bit so I could look right into his eyes. "So, so much."

I finally gave in into Daryl's pleads to stay, I rested my head back in the pillow and I smiled at Daryl as I did it. He was hovering over me, smiling down at me as I started playing with his long hair.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked in a shy voice.

"Of course." He got off of me and instead sat next to me, his back resting against the grey wall.

"Do you remember I told you about that night Sophia and I spent in that farm house when we both were missing?" Daryl just nodded. "I didn't tell you the whole thing, what she told me."

"What did she tell you?" Daryl asked me with curiosity.

"She said she and Carl wanted us together and she got so disappointed when I told her we weren't and we never would," I said, my smile turning into a small one as I remembered. "I was so shocked when she told me that, you should have seen her."

"Hmm, look at us now," Daryl said as he pecked my lips. "I trust that wherever she is now, she's very happy about us. Why did you think we would never get together, huh?"

"Well, we weren't even friends and we didn't get along that well. I was sure you found me annoying and maybe even stupid, and you were usually out hunting, I didn't spend enough time with you to know you well enough. Never thought you cared about me until I found out how hard you tried to find me."

"I didn't even know I cared about you so much," Daryl admitted. "I knew the moment I realized I did in fact find you, I can't even explain how relieved and happy I got."

Daryl pressed his lips against my forehead first and then on my lips, before he rested his head on my upper abdomen, I smiled and wrapped my arms around his shoulder, enjoying having him like this, we usually get interrupted and can't have many moments like this but today things were calm so absolutely no one came looking for us.

"I'm sure we have her approval," I said, referring to Sophia, I can only imagine she would be as happy or happier than Carl was. I still remember Carl's reaction when I told him his plan actually worked and I can only assume Sophia would react the same way.

"That makes me really relieved, I wouldn't like a pissed little girl after me," Daryl muttered, and I was almost completely sure he was smiling.

It hadn't been long since I was more open about talking about my late sister. I'm more comfortable about the topic and I can talk more about her without breaking down. I always get sad and I can't help but wish she could be here but it's only about half of the time when I burst into tears and the other half I actually smile at the memories.

"Believe me, a pissed Sophia was so scary," I said. "I was seven years older than her and sometimes I was just... terrified of her. She looked like a sweet, innocent girl but sometimes she wasn't."

"I'm glad I never saw that part of her then."

I allowed to close my eyes once again as I had Daryl in my arms, unconsciously I started to play with his hair again, I knew he liked it even when no one else could touch his hair. I liked his short hair but his long hair it's just perfect and I could also play with it, which was another pro.

I was actually surprised at how soft and untangled his hair was. He almost never washes his hair and when he does, most of the times he probably just uses water, no shampoo or anything else and of course that he never brushes it, so I couldn't understand this. I never brush it either but I can't get my finger through it without coming across at least one tangle, but my hair is way longer and wavy, while Daryl's is straight, maybe that helps.

To be honest, thanks to my last boyfriend, Peter, I stopped believing in love and in relationships, Michonne was right about that. He was special to me so his betrayal only made it worse. I didn't date or look for anyone else for around two years, I wasn't interested in it, I didn't want more dramas and more heartaches and more pain and I realized I just didn't need a boyfriend.

But then Daryl came into my life and at first I ignored and pushed away what I felt for him, mostly because of that and other factors, I did that for a long time until I couldn't keep pretending the feelings weren't there and I let myself give him a chance, give myself a chance and I couldn't be happier about it. I was sure Daryl would never do what Peter did, he would die first.

Daryl and I stayed like that for another forty minutes but this time none of us fell asleep, we just enjoyed each other's company, until unfortunately I really needed to go to the bathroom, making Daryl stand up with me.

"I hate you so much," Daryl muttered as he got off of me and sat up on the bed, stretching a bit.

"I thought an hour ago you said you loved me," I said with a chuckle. "Make up your mind!"

"I loved you until you made me get up," Daryl groaned as he stood up. "I was so comfortable!"

"Nevertheless, I still love you," I said and winked at him, he just gave me the finger, but he cracked a smile as he did it, so I just stuck out my tongue at him.

After I went to the bathroom I did go out and used my crossbow like I said I would about an hour ago when Daryl stopped me from getting out of bed.

"You have gotten good," Michonne exclaimed as she sat behind me. I had just put the target even further and still managed to hit the target. Of course, it wasn't a moving target so it was easier. I'm afraid I'm not as accurate once I'm out there, trying to kill a walker.

"Thanks," I said with a smile. "That's the plan, you know? Want to try?"

"Nah, I'm alright with my weapon," Michonne told me. "Maybe some other time."

"Alright," I said just before I shoot another arrow and unfortunately missed the target by only millimetres.

The weather was still quite warm but the nights were getting colder and colder, meaning that fall was coming. The first winter we lived after the outbreak was really, really though. There was no heating, no coffee or hot chocolate and it was hard to find right clothes to keep us warm, plus those thick coats and trousers made us slower, which almost got us killed a few times.

Besides that, Andrea and I almost died because we got sick, the weather was too much for us but we made it through.

"I haven't told you but since that day when Daryl and I went to look for the medicine for the sick people," Michonne said. "I decided to stay here and not to go look for the Governor anymore, I just... I let it go."

I went with Michonne a few times to look for the man that killed Teresa, Andrea and Merle and made our lives hell for a long time, we were scared he was going to attack again but nine or ten months had passed since we last saw him and apparently he won't be back again, maybe he's even dead right now, we can't be sure, though.

"I'm glad to hear that," I told her with a smile that soon turned into a smirk. "You can spend more time with Rick now."

"What?" she exclaimed in disbelief, her voice got high-pitched, nothing I had ever heard before from her.

"Oh come on!" I exclaimed with even a bigger smirk as I turned to look at her. "You like him, Michonne and he likes you."

"You couldn't be more wrong, Cici," Michonne said, avoiding my gaze but I could actually see a very small grin on her lips. "I don't like Rick and he doesn't like me, it will never happen, ever."

"That's what I used to say about Daryl and I being together, you know that," I told her. "And look at us now."

"That's different!" Michonne exclaimed in disbelief.

"How come?"

"It was obvious the two of you were into each other. I didn't know him and I still could tell. You two were just stupidly stubborn about what you felt, I don't know why but you were, while Rick and I don't really feel anything towards each other. Rick recently lost his wife, he isn't looking for someone new and I'm not interested in having someone in my life again."

"Alright," I said with a shrug. "I was in denial too, you know," I told her. "Anyway, I'm glad you are staying now and not going to look for the Governor. It wasn't healthy, Michonne."

"I know, but I still feel a bit disappointed," Michonne admitted. "I wanted to find him and kill him."

I had never felt so much hatred towards someone as I did towards him, not until a few weeks ago with the Sean incident. I felt so much anger and rage towards him because of what he did to the people I loved, mostly Merle and Andrea, I wanted him to pay for that, for their deaths but I realized those feelings were eating me inside so for my own good, I let it go, like Michonne said. I stopped going out on the searches with her and focused on other things.

I still hate the man and if I saw him I would want and try to kill him and make him pay but it's not my priority right now.

I had tried to do the same with the feelings I got after I was rescued, just let them go and move on but I admit it has been harder than I though. I still have nightmares and I'm always looking over my shoulder, just in case, and I try to never be alone but I'm so much better now, I'm finally getting back to how I was before the incident. Daryl, Michonne, Carl, Rick and everyone had been helping me with that.

"Yeah, me too," I said to her. "Especially after..."

"Andrea," Michonne said quickly.

"And Merle," I added quickly. "I know you didn't like him that much but he saved me so many times and in so different ways, plus he was Daryl's brother."

"After he let me go, I learnt to stand him, he did a good thing and I was quite sad when I found out he was dead."

"And there is also Teresa, I know you didn't get to know her but she used to be my best friend before the change. I was devastated when she was killed."

After that I reloaded the crossbow one more time, using my last arrow, I positioned myself correctly, concentrated and then shot it, I hit the target right in the centre. I smiled proudly at that, I was getting better and better.

"Not bad," Michonne complimented.

After having a conversation with Michonne and agreeing we were going to work out tomorrow, I went for my arrows and used them all one more time. Shooting really calmed me down and I loved doing it, plus they didn't make a sound and I could reuse the arrows, unlike the bullets, which I try to save as much as I can.

Not soon after I was done I spotted Mika and Lizzie close to the fence, I remembered Lizzie used to think walkers weren't dangerous and she was deeply torn when one of them was killed.

They were my mother's responsibility but she wasn't here anymore, I would help take care of them, just make sure they were okay and had everything they needed but I was... sorting things out and focusing on getting better, I wondered who had been taking care of them since my mum was kicked out.

I retrieved all my arrows again and once I was done I walked towards the blonde girls. My sister would be a bit older than them, she would be fourteen now, and Mika was only ten but that made me have a soft spot for them, especially for Mika, she reminded me a lot to Sophia, not only in appearance, both had blonde hair and brown eyes but also in personality, they were both innocent, sweet, lovingly and brave-hearted.

"Hello girls," I exclaimed with a smile, the girls turned around with big smiles on their faces.

"Cici!" the two girls exclaimed just before they stood up and ran towards me, pulling me into a hug.

"I missed you," Mika said as I had an arm around each one.

"How have you girls been?" I asked them. "Do you need anything?"

The three of us sat down on the grass and then they proceeded to tell me what it had been like for them. Nobody really takes care of them, some adults have made sure they are okay and all but they are mostly alone. It's mostly only the two of them.

"Well, if you ever need anything, food, more clothes, anything," I said to them. "You can come to me. If you feel sick or just need someone to talk to, you know where to find me."

The girls then wanted to know what happened to me, they heard I was kidnapped and miraculously rescued but they wanted to know more details, I only told them that I was kept in this house and barely ate or drank but I didn't tell them why I was taken or the things that happened to me, they were just too young, they didn't need to hear that kind of stuff.

Then they asked me about my mother, again I didn't want to tell them the whole truth so I just told them some things about my mum and then I just evaded their question and changed the topic quickly.

At dinner time, I accompanied the girls to eat, I was right in between the two of them, they told me things about their past, including school, friends, their dog and their mother. Turns out we went to the same elementary school and had the same Math teacher, that woman seemed like one hundred and fifty years and to everyone's bad luck, she never retired... or died.

After we ate, I went with them to their cell and tucked them in after Mika asked me to do it, both girls hugged me tightly just before I left and went back to my own block cell.

As I walked outside of block D, I noticed the beautiful full moon on the night sky, I could also see several stars all around the moon. I stopped to admire the sky for a few minutes.

I started to feel cold so I went inside block C, I walked past my own cell and went to Daryl's. He wasn't there yet. He was probably with Rick or people here hadn't finished eating.

I took off my shoes, trousers and shirt and put on my sweatpants and a loose shirt that was originally made for men but I saw it in a store not far from here and I just loved it, it was of Harry Potter, my favourite childhood movie and book.

I undid my ponytail and instead braided my hair, since the bed was too small, Daryl sometimes pulls at it during the night by accident, waking me up. After I was done I lied down on the bed and covered myself with the blankets and not only ten minutes later Daryl came, and he smiled as soon as he saw me.

"Where were you?" Daryl asked me.

"Lizzie and Mika wanted me to eat dinner with them," I told him. "Don't be mad"

"I'm not mad!" he exclaimed as he lied down next to me. "I'm happy."

"You are?" I asked surprised. "Why?"

"Today is the first day you used your crossbow again and you didn't ask me or anyone else to go with you and you actually went with those girls to block D without the presence of anyone of us, you hadn't done that in a while, you always need someone of us to be close to you, so I'm happy you felt confident enough to do that, it means you are progressing."

"I hadn't thought about it like that."

"I did as soon as I saw you walking towards those girls, I'm proud and happy for you."

Daryl then shifted his body position a bit and pecked my lips, as every night. I raised my hands to his cheeks and kissed him again, Daryl soon gave into the kiss and brought his hand to caress my cheek.

I deepened the kiss as I pulled him closer to me, he rested his other hand by my side to support his weight and not crush me since he was now on top of me.

Slowly I started to remove his vest, which he had forgotten to take off before getting into bed. It was not until the vest was by his elbows that he noticed what I was doing, I felt him stop kissing me and he started to pull away but I put my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, at first he gave in but then he stopped again.

He used his hand to make me remove my hands from around his neck and then he sat up, breaking the kiss as he sighed and looked down sadly at me. I bit my lip as I refused to look at him.

"Darling," he said trying to be extra nice, it's weird when he calls me that, it's usually Princess. "We have talked about this."

"But I want to do this, Daryl," I muttered, keeping my voice down in case someone could hear us. "I'm ready and I feel like this is the right time."

"Not yet, Cecilia."

I couldn't help but feel rejected like all those other times this had had happened. Daryl had claimed I'm not ready, therefore the two as a couple are not ready to take the next step. I never believed I would be the one trying to get into the guy's pants and not the other way around but that was our situation.

"You don't get it, Daryl," I said, sitting up as well and then crossing my arms. "All my life I was insecure because of my dad's abuse, I hated myself and I hated my body. I never felt comfortable about getting this far with a guy but I have finally gotten over it and taken this huge step for me and you just don't get it."

Daryl tried to grab one of my hands but I jerked it away and kept my arms crossed, instead he stroked my cheek and then he sighed again.

"Even if you did that, Cecilia, I don't think this is the best of times, what happened with Sean wasn't that long ago and I wouldn't like to trigger something, what if you remember what you went through in the middle of it and you freak out, I don't want that, specially when you are making such a good progress."

"He didn't... you know, rape me," I said, getting uncomfortable immediately. "I feel disgusting for what he did to me and in a way I need to replace those horrible memories with good ones, make this a good experience, you now? I think I can handle it."

Daryl put two fingers under my chin and made me look at him. He looked extremely sorry about this and a bit shy about it but I barely had time to see his expression before he kissed me sweetly and then pulled away a bit, but not that far so our foreheads could rest against each other.

"Let's just try," I whispered. "We can stop if we don't feel comfortable."

"Not tonight." Daryl kept firm, I had never kept trying so much because I hated the feeling of rejection I got whenever he pushed me away like this, so I just left it like that and focused on sleeping instead but this time I tried a bit more.

"Do you even find me attractive?" I asked him, speaking my thoughts. "Because I feel rejected when you do this."

"What?" Daryl exclaimed in shock, sitting up straight and looking at me with a hurt expression on his face. "Of course not, Princess. I love you and believe me when I say I'm attracted to you, I am, but..."

"But what, Daryl? Am I too young for you?" I snapped. "You think I'm going to regret it or something? I just need you to be honest with me."

Daryl sighed for like the hundredth time and then ran his hand through his long hair, meaning he was very nervous. I decided to not be so hard on him, so I extended my arms and grabbed his hands in mine and squeezed them afterwards in a way of reassuring him.

"I know I'm ready for this," I told him, looking straight into his eyes that now looked a deep dark blue instead of his light blue shade. "So, what's the matter?" Then I cracked a smile after I thought of something funny, especially to make the atmosphere less tense. "Any problem down there?"

"Uh, no," Daryl got out, looking away from me after a few seconds, I could tell he was really uncomfortable with this, he even coughed before answering me. "Not there, at least."

"What do you mean?"

"As you were insecure about your body because of the abuse I _am_ insecure about my own body," Daryl finally admitted. "I don't want you to see my scars, I hate them. Don't ever think I don't... desire you, that I don't want to be with you because I do and I didn't mean to make you feel rejected, I just feel... hideous."

I removed my hands from his and sat up straight, I got on my knees and got closer to him, pulling him into a hug, which he slowly responded to.

A few months ago Daryl confessed to me that his father abused him and it used to be pretty bad, he also told me about his mother that didn't give a shit about him or made any attempt to stop the abuse, actually, she abused him too.

He told me about the scars that covered his back and I actually saw the end of a long, thick one that almost reached his neck but Daryl didn't let me see the rest of them. I had a few scars myself but they weren't as thick and I didn't have as many, I was lucky about that.

"You are not hideous, you are my... prince charming, you know?" I said as I pecked his lips. "I don't mind your scars, they are part of you and I love your whole self. Why are you embarrassed of them? You should trust me more, Daryl."

"They are gross, Cecilia, I can't even look at them myself!" Daryl exclaimed raising his voice a bit.

"They aren't gross, how you got them is gross. You didn't deserve it, but they aren't gross, I promise. Do you think I will be gross out and just leave you because of them?" I asked him and he just looked away. "I won't, I promise. I love you, understand?"

I turned around and took off my shirt, Daryl probably was thinking I was trying again but I wanted to show him I had scars too.

"Look around the middle of my back," I told him. "There's a long but thin scar there, I got it when I was twelve. My dad pushed me and I fell on a coffee table, breaking it. I have another smaller one just around my right shoulder blade, and I have one here," I said turning around and pointing above my left hipbone, that one was small but it was a bit thick, after that I put on my shirt again and looked into his eyes.

I got so many more injuries and cuts and even broken bones when I grew up, I had faint scars, which luckily they all healed and disappeared. There was one on my side that I hated so much and it took years for it to vanish completely but it did, that was from the last beating I got, just before I moved out.

"There is no need to be ashamed of those scars, not with me, Daryl. I went through the same thing as you, I understand, actually I think I'm the person I can understand you the most and the best out of everyone here. How could you think I would judge you or not get it? We lived the same thing."

"I just thought, how could you accept it and not be grossed out when I am? I hate them, Cecilia, how could you not? That's what I thought."

"I love you, that's why I accept them, Daryl. I hate what your father did but I'm not disgusted by you. I have my own scars too, so now you know that there's nothing to be ashamed of, I understand and won't ever make fun of you or anything like that."

I hugged him again and this time he instantly hugged me back, I smiled. I pulled away and before I could do anything else he kissed me, I could feel every emotion Daryl was pouring into the kiss, his past still affected him and taunted him and I was going to make sure to make it better for him.

Slowly, Daryl laid me down again, being careful to not break the kiss, I kept one arm around his middle back but I raised the other and started to play with his hair once again.

Some minutes later, as we kept passionately making out, it wasn't me who took the first step but Daryl, which really surprised me. He got one of his hand under my shirt, rubbing my skin with his cold fingers. Daryl slowly lifted my shirt but didn't take it off as he started to kiss down my jaw, to my neck.

I once again attempted to lower his vest and take it off and surprisingly this time he let me do it, but I could sense how his muscles tensed but he didn't stop, which I was glad about. Moments later my shirt was off of me again, Daryl threw it to the ground as I started to unbutton his own shirt.

"Does this... does this mean we will do it?" I asked him. "You won't push me away again?"

"No," he said to me, stopping his kisses for a bit as he looked into my eyes.

"Do you trust me?" I asked him and he slowly nodded.

"I trust you."

I smiled as I leant forward, supporting myself on my elbows and kissed him on the lips. Slowly, my body was all on the bed again, so I could use my hands to handle his shirt again.

"You ready?" I asked him just as I was going to remove his shirt from him. He nodded before he took it off himself.

I knew how hard this was for him, his body got all tensed and his movements got a bit less freely, like he didn't feel as comfortable anymore.

"It's okay," I assured him. "I love you."

I sat up then and massaged his shoulders a bit so he could relax as I left kisses on his neck and shoulders, he allowed me to see his back, I couldn't see the scars well because of the lack of light but still the view saddened me a lot because this was nothing compared to what he suffered as a child but it didn't gross me out, like I promised.

Daryl turned around and soon he pressed his lips to mine, wrapping his arms around my mid-section as my hands got tangled in his hair. This was actually happening, I really couldn't believe it and the best was that not even once I had thought about what happened with Sean.

Soon, my sport bra ended up in the floor, on top of his vest. I felt a bit exposed because I had never been this naked in front of someone, so now it was my turn to get a bit tensed and Daryl noticed that.

I had never had sex or done anything this far with a guy and Daryl had never done it with someone he loved, only with easy girls and random hook ups, so in a way, this was new to the two of us.

Then our trousers found their way to the floor as well, leaving us in just our underwear. I had to admit I did want this but I had gotten very nervous now, we both were. I kind of felt too exposed and felt a bit insecure but I was enjoying it and I was excited about it, so I tried my hardest to push all my insecurities to the back of my mind and just enjoy the moment because it was finally happening, Daryl finally told me the real reason why he was rejecting me and finally was overcoming his own insecurities, which I had no idea about until now.

All I knew was that Daryl is the man I love and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, he's the one that makes me feel alive, like this life does have a meaning and is worth fighting.

Hello guys!

This was a very deep chapter, finally Daryl confessed. Hope you all liked it! Even though it's my story Daryl broke my heart in this chapter.

Yesterday, I was stretching after my workout and got the worst cramp ever. I couldn't straighten my leg even when I was told to do it, I felt like something, like a ligament or a muscle or something was going to be broken and I was in so much pain. This man grabbed my foot and actually pulled my leg and straightened it for me, it cracked really bad as I let out a scream, I think all the sport club heard me. The trainer just stared at me and after the man did that, the trainer disappeared, I found that funny later.

The thing is that I was going more scared and crying because I thought I was going to break something like I said before and that I couldn't do my sport for 2 months or so, I had suffered for many injuries so I don't want anymore but I'm okay now, thank God. The weird thing is that my thigh muscle feels a bit thigh, I have eaten many bananas for the potassium and chocolate milk because it helps to recover the muscle.

And later that night, after the TWD episode, I thought, imagine if that happened to someone while they were running away from walkers, that would be horrible. I might have to write that in the future, I have never read it in other stories. Almost killed by a cramp :'D

I don't have much to say today about the new episode, but tell me what you think of Carl and Enid, you like it, you hate it, you don't mind it? Anyway, thanks for reading and please comment! :D I love to read your opinions.


	17. Chapter 17 - Unjust Consequences

"And hard times are good in their own way, too.

Because the only way you can achieve true happiness is if you experience true sadness as well.

It's all about light and shade. Balance."

– Gabrielle Williams, Beatle Meets Destiny

Six months ago

"You shouldn't go," Carl said as I ate breakfast with him that morning.

Only Rick, Michonne, Daryl, Carl and Beth had woken up by now but it wouldn't take long for the rest of our group to wake up as well.

"I'll be back soon," I told him. "Don't worry."

"I won't have anyone to talk to, to play with," Carl said with puppy eyes, trying to make me stay. "And I will be left alone to care for the animals."

Only about two weeks ago we had found some pigs and some hens and brought them here, we helped Rick with them every once in a while, it wasn't nice but better than killing walkers through the fence.

"There are other kids now, Carl," I told him with a smile, trying to cheer him up.

It had been about three or so months since we went to Woodbury to end it all and instead brought the people back here, we had also gone on runs and if we find someone we bring them here if we think we can trust them. There were around twelve kids now, all of them around the ages of six and fourteen plus Judith.

"They're immature." I sighed.

"What about Patrick? He's older than the rest."

"He's the most immature out of them," Carl complaint.

These three months Michonne hadn't taken a break from her searches of the Governor, she had been gone for days or even weeks and then she comes back, stays for a day or two and then leaves again.

Nobody else besides Michonne, Daryl and I have bothered to go look for him after the first two weeks or so after he attacked our prison, our home but we have been unsuccessful. It's like he vanished into thin air.

I go with Michonne on these search parties about half of the time or even less and just on the short ones and usually Daryl comes along too. At first we could use a car but now that three months have passed, Rick has forbidden us to use them because we need to save the gas for emergencies but he can't forbid us to go, even when he has tried.

"Cici, just let Michonne and Daryl go and stay with me, please?"

"So I can clean pigs' poo and miss the fun?" I exclaimed as I finished my breakfast. "No way."  
"Thought you loved me," Carl said in a fake hurt voice.

I loved Carl but I wasn't going to stay, as crazy as it seems I've always liked to go out of these fences and kill some walkers and be useful for the group, even when this time I wouldn't be so useful, we weren't bringing anything back.

"I need to get ready," I said, standing up. As I passed next to Carl, I messed up his hair, earning a slap on my hand as he grunted, I just chuckled, feeling like the mean older sister annoying her sibling.

I jogged back to my cell and checked if I had everything I needed in my backpack, my gun, two knives, some food and three bottles of water.

"Why don't you take the crossbow this time?" Daryl asked, making me slightly jump. I turned around to face him and flashed him a smile.

"Because I'm not ready yet," I told him.

"Come on," he said, grabbing it for me. "You can use this trip for practice, I'll help you."

Before I could accept or refuse, Daryl grabbed my arrows and walked out with them and my crossbow. I only shook my head at him as I grabbed my backpack and went downstairs once again, my mum and Axel were up now.

"Cici," she said when she saw me.

We were in better terms but still our relationship wasn't the best, we still had a long way to go. She approached me and put an arm on top of my shoulder, making me slightly tense at her touch.

"I thought you had already left," she said with a smile on her face. "I'm glad I got to see you, though. When are you going to come back?"

"Uh, in three, four days? I can't be sure," I told her.

Axel then joined us and put an arm around my mother's waist, making the whole situation even more awkward, at least for me because my mother didn't seem to mind.

"Take care out there," Axel told me with a smile, I nodded at him with an awkward smile.

Axel is the only person of our group that hasn't gone out and seen how the real world is now, he hasn't gone on any run and I think he hasn't killed more than ten walkers since all of this started, counting the ones he has killed through the fence. I'm really not sure what my mum sees in him, maybe she likes not being the weak one.

My mother has made a huge effort to accept the fact Daryl and I are together, despite how much she hates it and I appreciate her a lot for that so the least I can do, I suppose, is to try to accept the relationship she has with Axel, despite how much I wish they wouldn't be together.

"I always do, Axel," I told him. "Now, if you excuse me..."

"Wait," my mum exclaimed quickly.

Before I could get any further, she took two steps towards me and without warming she pulled me into a tight hug, which made me flinch. Unsure, I slowly put one arm on her lower back, barely touching her. She gave me a squeeze before letting me go and looking right into my eyes and I did the same.

"It's not like it's the first time I leave," I said with a small chuckle. "I'll be fine, mum."

"I know," she whispered as she loosened her grip on me.

I finally managed to get away from her and Axel, I walked towards the door, leaving my bag there, I needed to go to the bathroom before leaving. When I turned around I caught my mother and Axel kissing as he held her close to him.

I pretended to gag as I looked at them but honestly, I was a bit grossed out, I'm sure no one ever enjoys watching their own parents kissing, especially with someone that is not the other parent and like this, these two needed a room... or not... that thought made me cringe and I decided it was better to have them in my sight. My pretended gags and disgusting thoughts were interrupted when I felt a hand smacking the back of my head.

"Stop," I heard Daryl's hoarse voice saying to me.

"That hurt," I said, rubbing the place where he smacked me.

"Just let them be," Daryl grumbled to me, ignoring what I said to him.

"You wouldn't say that if she were your mum."

At the mention of that word, my mother broke the kiss and turned to look in my direction, spotting Daryl as well. Her cheeks turned a bit red but she didn't look ashamed.

"Seriously, mum? Do you really need to do that?" I asked in disbelief, she only gave me a look.

"You're not five anymore, get used to it," she said to me and I just gasped at her words, then she left to have breakfast, grabbing Axel's hand and pulling him with her. Axel let go of her hand and put his around his waist, slowly lowering it until he was touching her ass.

Daryl noticed I was looking at the pair in disbelief and saw why, I was about to go after them and give Axel a piece of my mind when Daryl grabbed my hand, stopping me from going and instead pecked my lips to distract me and it did help a bit, just a bit.

"Just leave them," Daryl told me. "We need to leave in five minutes."

"He was touching my mum, Daryl," I whined just before I pretended to gag again to make it more dramatic.

"Leave it, Cecilia."

I decided to listen to Daryl and just go to the bathroom like I was planning to, before meeting Michonne, Rick and Daryl outside, my bag was already over my shoulders.

Rick gave me a hug and told me to take care before he opened the gate to let us walk outside, many people were attracting the walkers and killing them through the fence so we had no problems with them right now.

The place Michonne wanted to go was quite far but Rick and the rest of the council wouldn't allow us to take the car anymore, and we would have used Daryl's motorcycle if we were only two.

Luckily we were all in shape, I workout everyday and every once in a while I run around the prison terrain, people think I'm crazy as I pass by them, wearing only my sport bra and some shorts I got not long ago.

Five hours later by midday I finally allowed myself to take a sip of water. We hadn't taken a break and the heat wasn't helping, drops of sweats were falling down my face and I was starting to get really tired, Michonne didn't look tired as I did, she seemed fresh and like this heat wasn't facing her, I guess she was used to it after three months of doing this.

Minutes later we spotted two walkers on the road, Daryl stopped Michonne from beheading them and told me to kill them myself with the crossbow.

I loaded it quickly and raised it, pointing at the closest female walker, I narrowed my eyes, moved the crossbow a bit to the left and shot. The arrow barely grazed her head, if even that. I grabbed a second arrow and this time I hit it but not where I wanted, on the shoulder, I reloaded it quickly and did the same, this time Daryl got behind me and put his hands on top of mine to guide me, Michonne just rolled her eyes at us, but then focused on the two walkers, making sure they wouldn't get too close to us.

"Now," Daryl whispered.

I pulled the trigger and shot it and the arrow went right between its eyes, I smiled as I saw it collapse to the pavement, dead-dead. I redid the whole process and this time without help of Daryl I shot the second walker and killed it but this one was way closer, only a few feet away from me.

I got my four arrows back and cleaned them with a leave I plucked from a tree nearby. Michonne just started walking, wanting to get as far as we could.

"Not bad," Daryl complimented.

"Thanks," I muttered even when I wasn't that satisfied with the results. I knew I would never be as good as Daryl with it but I still didn't believe I was as good as Daryl claimed. If I was on my own with more walkers around I'm afraid I wouldn't be quick or accurate enough.

A couple of hours later Daryl spotted a bird on a tree not so far from us, he got his own crossbow, pointed at the animal and shot it before I could blink. The animal fell down to the ground and Daryl ran to it. I could barely hit a walker not so far from me, I wonder how I would do with something so small at a farthest distance.

As we kept walking, Daryl plucked out the bird's feathers so we could eat it. When Daryl's was halfway done with it, we found a small, old car but luckily it had gas and we could use it.

Daryl got on the back seat with the window open so he could throw the feathers out of it, while I got on the driver's seat and Michonne sat next to me with the map in her hands. I couldn't read maps well so it was me who had to drive.

"Who taught you how to drive?" Daryl asked me from the back seat, he had taken a break from the bird. I looked at him through the rear mirror and noticed he had a cigarette in his mouth. I really disliked it when he smokes but I never say anything because I sometimes steal his cigarettes, have only done it twice or three times a month, it wasn't much and Daryl hadn't found out about it. I just do it when I'm extremely nervous or anxious, or when there is not much food to eat, but lately that hasn't been a problem.

"My dad," I muttered. "When he wasn't drunk or with his friends and when he was actually in a good mood."

"Really?" Daryl asked surprised, finding it hard to believe that Ed bothered to teach me something.

"Yeah, but don't fool yourself, he didn't do it out of the kindness of his heart," I said bitterly. "He taught me so I could do things for him, pick up stuff, even pick him up sometimes. My mother could drive and do those stuff but he preferred me to do those kind of things. I did errands for him all the time."

It wasn't until 5:00 pm when we finally made a stop and we could cook the bird Daryl got for us so we wouldn't use our supplies yet. Daryl was the one that took care of that while Michonne and I looked around the place, we were going to spend the night inside the car but at the moment we were in the woods, making the fire.

"I'll take first watch," Daryl commented as we put out the fire and grabbed our food back to the car so we could eat in a safer and warmer place.

When we got there, we leant against the car and we ate there. We grabbed the pieces of meat with our fingers but after all this time, having good manners were a thing of the past, now all you care about is eating and having strength.

The night was darker than usual, the moon was covered by thick clouds and obviously there was no source of artificial light, we had brought flashlights but those were just in case of an emergency.

We could hear owls in the distance, there were bats too. We could hear other animals as well, we knew there were foxes and even coyotes somewhere, but luckily there weren't animals big enough to harm us really bad, like wolves and bears, at least we hadn't come across any bear since all of this started. The coyotes were a bit of a threat though, especially if there were more than four or so.

After we finished we let Michonne get in the back seat so she could rest for a bit, while Daryl got in the driver's seat since he was going to be on watch first and I got next to him on the passenger seat.

I lowered the back of my seat and lied down on my side, facing Daryl who was playing with an arrow that he had in his hands. I closed my eyes because I was exhausted when Daryl spoke to me.

"Was he always like that?" he suddenly asked. "Your father, I mean. Was he always abusive?"

"Uh, no." I sighed. "Not to me at least. I could hear them fight and some loud noises late at night and I knew something bad was happening and I could see the bruises on my mum but I guess my brain didn't process the information that good, or I just decided to ignore it and pretend everything was okay." I opened my eyes and looked at Daryl, who was already looking down at me. "I was like six the first time he hit me. It wasn't that bad, my mum got in the way. It really affected me because it was like the very first time and it hurt more emotionally than physically but I got over it because it didn't happen again in a long time. It didn't happen for like two years."

"You were six?" Daryl asked sadly.

"Yeah, six or younger. I just know because Sophia hadn't been born yet and I was seven by the time she was born. It was somewhat frequent when I was eight or so and it got really bad when I turned like ten or eleven, I remember I used to wear long-sleeved shirts to hide the bruises and if people noticed they didn't say anything, not even the teachers and I never told anyone, now I wondered why I didn't."

"My father used to do the same thing," Daryl confessed as he grabbed one of my hands. "My mum hit us too."

I didn't know anything about his mother but I already knew Daryl's father was abusive, Merle mentioned it once or twice to me just before he was murdered but Daryl had never talked about neither of his parents even when he makes a lot of questions about mine and about my childhood. I was flattered he now trusted me enough to talk about his past.

"It was really, really bad whenever Merle wasn't around and it just worsened when my mother died," Daryl muttered, his voice broke a bit at the end. "As time passed Merle was away more often and for longer periods of time, he was sent to juvie several times and then when he was old enough, he just left."

"Are you mad at him because of that?" I found myself asking in a very small voice, I was quite surprised Daryl heard me.

"Yeah, I was for a very long time," Daryl admitted. "Maybe fifteen years or more."

I bit my lip just before it started to tremble, I looked down at my hands in shame. Merle did what I did to Sophia, and just now I could realize how much I hurt Sophia because I was sure Daryl felt the same Sophia did. I always knew but a part of me wanted to ignore it and I never thought it would be that bad.

"You thought he was a coward for leaving you?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I did," he said nodding. "He was probably somewhere getting drunk and having fun with girls while he left me at home with our father, he beat me almost every night."

"How old were you?"

"I can't remember, about eight or ten," Daryl told me. "Still had about eight years of hell ahead of me and he didn't give a crap, he just left... like he always did."

"I guess I'm a lot like Merle," I whispered but Daryl heard me. "Maybe that's why we got along."

"What do you mean? You're nothing like him."

"Oh yeah, I am," I told him. "Sophia was maybe nine when I did leave, she begged me to stay but I couldn't handle it anymore, I – I couldn't. She hated me, she didn't speak to me for months, probably felt the same thing you did."

"Probably, but you ran after her when those walkers chased her, you were with her when she needed you the most, Merle never was."

Daryl's words didn't really make me feel any better and he couldn't make it better because if he excused me he would excuse Merle, and he wouldn't do that.

"When did your mum die?" I asked him, wanting to stop talking about our siblings.

"I was very young, six or so," he told me. "I was outside with some other kids when we heard the sirens and we went to the place of the commotion... we turned a corner and... it was my house the one on fire. My mum was inside."

"Oh my God, Daryl I'm so..."

"It was her fault, though," Daryl said quickly. "She used to smoke all day long and she probably fell asleep or was too drunk and well... everything got caught on fire. She just... vanished. She was gone. At least you saw your father's body, you know it was real, that it happened. It was harder to accept she was gone because..." Daryl's voice broke, I gave his hand and squeeze, telling him it was okay.

"I understand," I told him. "I felt that kind of closure you are talking about when I finally saw Sophia, if we hadn't... I would probably believe she'd still be out there and I would probably look for her everyday."

"Part of me couldn't accept she was dead for a very long time. I couldn't believe my mum was gone."

"So, for the most part, it was just you and your father?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Daryl nodded. "And the prostitutes that were around more often than Merle."

"I'm sorry."

Silence fell upon us after that, we hadn't really talked about our families like this and it amazed me how many similarities our family backgrounds had. Abusive fathers, older kid leaves and the younger is left alone to fend for themselves. Older kid ends in jail, the father gets drunk often, making his abusive behaviour even worse. The only difference was that at least my mother wasn't abusive and actually cared about Sophia and me, even when she usually was way too scared to stand up for us.

"Daryl?"

"Hmm?"

"I think I'm ready to tell you why I ended up in jail," I told him nervously. "But promise me tha..."

"I would never judge you, Cecilia," he said quickly. "And I would never tell this to anyone else. You can trust me."

"Remember I told you that when I moved out of my house I learnt self-defence and some Taekwondo and learnt how to shoot?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"When I moved out, I didn't go alone to New York," I said with a sigh. "I had a boyfriend at the time, we had been together for a bit more than a year and he was the one that came up with the idea to move in together and go somewhere far away."

"So, he knew about your family?"

"Not so much, he thought my father was a bit... rough and lost his temper quickly but he never knew that he had sent me to the hospital a few times and the beatings were at least twice a week for me, maybe daily for my mum," I told him. "Peter was a nice guy but I didn't trust him enough to tell him all the things you know."

"Peter, huh?" he asked and scoffed a bit.

"That's not the main point, Daryl," I told him. "We lived together for around seven months and things were okay until one day. He came home one morning, I tried to call him all night, I was worried because he never did that, but he never answered his phone. Once he was back I could tell he was still a bit drunk, which was very unlike him. I accused him of cheating, I just knew, he had a hickey on the neck and the buttons on his shirt were all mixed up, he was a disaster."

"What happened next?" Daryl asked me. "You broke up with him?"

"We started arguing, it got pretty bad really quickly and he just... I don't know, lost his patience and he slapped me," I told him as I unconsciously brought one of my hands to my left cheek. "It was so strong that I fell down on the ground and it stung like hell. I got a bruise for like a month, it was horrible."

"I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that," Daryl said, looking sadly at me, almost with pity, which wasn't what I was looking for.

"I stood up and he just laughed, thinking I was going to back away and tremble like a little scared mouse but I didn't and a part of me wishes I would have done that."

"Why?" Daryl asked confused.

"After I stood up, it was like... like a switch was turned off, it was so weird. I just snapped, just... snapped," I told him, biting my lip when I finished and then I looked down at my hands. "I punched him, straight in the nose. I heard a crack and I knew I had broken it, but I didn't stop there. He was going to hit me again so, I just hit him instead, like I said, I just snapped. I wanted to stop but I couldn't, somewhere in my brain, I knew I had to stop but I was unable to do that."

I closed my eyes tightly to stop the tears that were already forming in my eyes. It shouldn't affect me so much, it happened more than two years ago, I actually hated how much it still hurt me, I hated it.

Before I continued, I heard a loud snore coming from behind me. I looked at Michonne, who was deeply sleeping. I had completely forgotten about her and I was really, really glad and relieved she was because I knew Daryl wouldn't want her to know the things he said and I would tell Michonne about this when I felt comfortable, if I ever get to feel comfortable enough to tell her. Michonne knew to an extent but not everything.

"It's funny," I said with a sarcastic chuckle as I sat up straight. "You know how thin the line is between doing something in self-defence and overuse of force? Let me tell you, it's pretty fucking thin," I said with venom in my voice. "The neighbours called the police and even when the bruises were evident, the one unconscious on the ground was Peter, not me. He had two broken ribs, broken nose, busted lip, and I only had one bruise. A big and bright one but it was only one. They claimed he was already 'disabled' and that I could have stopped a long time ago, so I was arrested for almost killing him. I should have been in prison for a year but they let me go earlier due to perfect behaviour. I guess I was lucky because my lawyer was a really good one. He got me that deal."

If Daryl wasn't looking at me with pity then he was now. Yes, it was a sad and unjust story, but I got out of jail and moved on with my life, as hard as that was.

"But the worst..."

I stopped my story because I heard some faint snarling outside. Daryl heard it right after I did it. He brought a finger to his lips and I nodded but I almost shouted out as Daryl opened the door and got out of the car with his crossbow in hand. I grabbed mine, knowing I couldn't use my gun and got out of the car as well.

It was hard but I could make out six figures quite far from us, Daryl killed three before I could even load my own crossbow and raise it. Daryl let the rest get a bit closer before he killed two of the three left.

"All yours," he whispered to me, but I shook my head at him.

"It's dark, I can't even kill one at midday when the sun is at the top, I can't now," I told him. Daryl didn't argue, instead he got behind me like he had done earlier. He moved my left hand a bit further and raised my elbows a bit and when he told me to, I shot at the walker and down it went.

Daryl made sure there were no more walkers for maybe five minutes, once we didn't hear or see anything else, Daryl retrieved the arrows, handing me one of them after he cleaned the blood that was on them.

"So," he said before getting inside the car. "What were you going to tell me before we were interrupted?"

As soon as we were, as he said, interrupted, I thought it was some kind of sign, that I shouldn't tell him because nobody knew this, no one at all. I was so ashamed that it wasn't until now that I had pushed that memory to the back of my mind, keeping it there, trying to block it and forget it.

"You can tell me," Daryl said when he realized I had gotten a bit hesitant about telling him the rest of the story and now I was quite relieved we were out of the car, Michonne could wake up and hear and I didn't want that.

"There was a moment when I stopped hitting him, only minutes before the police came. I stood up and grabbed the gun that I carried everywhere, I pointed it at his head and I was so close to pull the trigger. I wanted to kill him, Daryl!" I exclaimed, raising my voice a bit but kept it low enough in case more walkers were close.

"But you didn't," he told me as he slipped his arms around me and held me close, he was leant against the hood of the car.

"I kind of snapped out of my trance when I heard the sirens, I hid it quickly before they entered my apartment," I told him sadly. "They never found it. I just thought that I had gotten away from all of that to fall into the same kind of treatment. I wasn't going to let that happen. No matter the price. No matter what I had to do to prevent it."

"But all that is over now. Princess," he said, kissing the top of my head. "I would never do such thing to you."

"I know," I said with a small smile.

I let go of him and we both got inside the car again, we couldn't risk being out there for longer. Once inside, Daryl wrapped his arms around me again

"Do you think you would have snapped like that with your father?"

"I was scared of it, I could defend myself now and I wouldn't hesitate to do it, so I refused to visit Sophia, even when she called me every week... begging me to go," I told him. "But it wasn't until that moment when I realized I could be capable of killing. It scared me."

"I appreciate you told me that, I know how hard it was," Daryl told me.

"Probably as hard as it was for you to tell me about your parents," I said.

"We'll make it through," Daryl assured me. "Together."

"Together," I repeated and nodded at him.

"Now, get some sleep, it's almost time to wake Michonne up," Daryl told me.

"Or I could keep up and wake her up in a few hours."

"No, you need the rest. Today was a long day, just sleep for a bit."

Daryl kissed the top of my head and held me tightly against his chest, calming me down because I was quite uneasy about remembering that part of my life. I closed my eyes and before I knew it I fell asleep in his arms.

So you guys finally know why Cecilia went to jail, what do you think about that?  
QOTD: Who is your favourite female and male characters of TWD?

Also, do you recommend me any movie or show on Netflix? I just finished The Affair last night and I will soon finish this other show called Vis a Vis. It's similar to Orange is The New Black but way better in my opinion, but I think it's only in Spanish, but I totally recommend it. I even used the main character in one of my Multicouple Videos, I paired him with Shane :P


	18. Chapter 18 - True Love

"I know you have baggage, I know you're going to be a pain in my ass,

but I love you more that I ever dreamed possible."

– J.M. Madden, Embattled Hearts

– Present Day

Two more weeks had passed and things were finally starting to fall into place once again. The fence was standing and for the time being it was strong. Michonne had been truth to her word and hadn't left the prison to go look for the Governor, not even once, she hadn't even mentioned it and I was glad and relieved she was finally staying with us.

Rick had gone back to the crops but since the virus spread, he had had his gun all the time, thing he had refused to do for months, but when things cool off again he took the gun from Carl, thing Carl didn't like that much.

Now that there were no pigs or no animals to care for, except for a horse, which we had to brush and feed, Carl and I had been helping Rick with the crops. It wasn't fun but at least it didn't involve animals' poo.

Things between Daryl and I had also improve a lot, we had gotten closer and I'm even more thankful to have him in my life. Daryl and I still don't show a lot of affection in public but lately he has been putting his arms around me or holds my hand, intertwining our fingers even when people are around and sometimes he even steals one kiss or two when people aren't looking, and if they catch us he just doesn't care.

I had also been spending more time with Mika and Lizzie. They needed me as much as I needed them, except I didn't know that until now. They reminded me so much of my sister and for some weird reason, instead of saddening me, it made feel happiness and joy. Even Daryl had joined us a few times as we played, it was comical to see Daryl with them, he has always been good with kids, though. It's me the one that sometimes feels awkward and unsure around them, especially babies.

The only thing that did change and we can't fix is the situation with my mother, even if Rick forgives her and Tyreese doesn't go crazy on her when he finds out it was her who killed his girlfriend, we have no idea where she is but truth is that she got rid of her pride, came here to tell Rick about Sean, even if she didn't know I was in that house and made them go looking for me, if Sean hadn't agreed to bring me here, at least I knew they would have eventually found me, thanks to my mum.

A big part of me wants her to come back. I want to go out there and look for her until I find her, especially now that our relationship was so strong and good, it was better than it had ever been but it seems like destiny or whatever has another plans and just wants us apart.

Currently, I was looking at four photographs, the only ones I had. The first was the one Rick took months ago when Daryl and I were sleeping together, personally, I loved that picture, it was Daryl's favourite.

The second picture was a group picture, it was of Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Daryl, Carl and I. In the picture I was in between Carl and Beth, Maggie was hugging her sister from behind, just as Daryl was doing with me, wrapping his arms around my waist, while I had my own hand on Carl's shoulder and was pecking his cheek while Glenn was attempting to do the same on his other cheek but Michonne, who refused to be part of the picture and instead volunteered to take it, took the picture a bit too soon, so only I was kissing Carl's cheek.

The third picture was a selfie. It took me almost an hour to convince Daryl to pose with me, kind of. He looked serious at the camera while I had my tongue out and winked my left eye, I tried to get Daryl to do something funny as well but that didn't work. And actually in the back of the picture you can spot Carl, who was trying to ruin our picture but got to us just a second too late.

The last picture was personally my favourite one. Daryl and I were in the middle of the courtyard, we were both laughing at something, but I can't remember what. It was almost sunset so the colour in the picture was just perfect, giving it an orangeish shade and warm tone; the wind was blowing our hair and there were three birds flying in the sky behind us, the picture was just perfect and it was none other than Carl who took it.

I smiled at the pictures as I looked at each one one more time, I couldn't just get over them. I wish I could have one single picture of me when I was three or four to show Daryl what I looked like but unfortunately all that was gone.

I put the pictures one on top of another and as usual left them on the table next to the camera. I walked out of my cell and went to go look for Glenn. Luckily I found him in the kitchen, I smiled at the Asian and sat down in front of him.

"What a grin," he said to me. "You're excited about this, huh?"

"Not as much as you assume, Glenn," I told him. "I'm more excited about finally going on a run again."

"Yeah, right," he said rolling his eyes at me.

A week and a half ago Daryl and I kind of decided it was time for me to move to his cell, I had slept there for weeks so naturally we talked to Rick about getting a new big bed for us since we couldn't fit in the one Daryl had, and even if we sometimes manage to fit together, it's uncomfortable almost all the time.

So, Rick authorized the run and we are leaving in a couple days. Daryl and I are going of course, Sasha is as well, she couldn't let this chance go, she loved going out as much as I did, and Glenn has to come because he knows where we should go. Michonne volunteered to go as well, claiming she needed a new mattress too.

"So, when are we going to go?" I asked Glenn.

"We need to bring more gasoline," Glenn told me. "And we have to do that other run, as soon as we get done with that we can go for your new bed, Cecilia."

"Great," I said smiling.

"So," he said in a very casual tone as he tried to hide a smirk. "You and Daryl are getting serious, huh? Don't get mad at me, alright? But I really thought the two of you wouldn't last more than a couple of months. It just... I didn't think you fitted together but obviously I was wrong, it's been like ten months or so and you are still together."

"I know." I nodded at him. "It actually feels a bit weird."

"Why?"

"Because I never thought he would like me, you know and..." I looked down at my hands as I made a small pause. "I never thought I would fall for him."

"I get what you mean," Glenn muttered. "For me it was love at first sight but I never ever imagined Maggie would like me back and now... well, she's my wife."

"Funny, isn't it? We found love in the darkest of times," I said.

"With the least expected people," Glenn added,

Glenn and I were joined then by Hershel, Beth, who was holding Judith, Maggie and Carl. It was lunch time and it looked like they were eating inside today. No one else joined us, not Rick, or Daryl or Michonne or even Oliver, who never misses a meal.

After I was done, I stood up and went outside, Sasha and Tyreese waved at me when they saw me. I smiled at the siblings and waved back. Oliver was eating with some other people, Michonne was in the tower, keeping watch and finally I spotted Rick and Daryl, they were close to the fence, very, very far away from where I was and from anybody else, for what I could see, they were just talking.

I also saw Lizzie and Mika, sitting on the grass not far away from me. I decided to approach them since I hadn't really talked to them today. I woke up pretty early but for some reason felt extremely tired and took a nap until almost midday.

"Hey girls," I said to Lizzie and Mika."Did you already eat?"

"Yeah," Mika told me with a smile. "We ate with Sasha and Bob."

"That's good."

"Do you think you ever will see your mum again?" Lizzie asked me out of nowhere, I was a bit taken aback by the randomness of the question.

"Uh, actually I try not to think about that," I told her as I unconsciously scratched the back of my neck. "But I hope I get the chance to see her again, I miss her."

"I miss her too," Mika said sadly.

"I hope to see her again too," Lizzie told me, looking straight into my eyes. "You have a cool mum, she's awesome."

"I guess she is," I mumbled.

"At least you have Daryl," Mika said with a grin as she looked not at me but behind me.

I turned around to see what she was looking and it was Daryl, making his way to me. Rick was next to Daryl, telling him one last thing before he pat his back and walked to the left, where the prison building lies.

Daryl turned to look from Rick to me after this went his own way. I watched him approach me with a wide grin on my lips. As he walked towards me, his lips slowly curled at the ends until he had a big smile on his face that matched mine.

Surprisingly, Daryl raised his arms, cupped my face and kissed me without warming. I could hear the girls making sounds of disgust and discomfort behind me, making me a bit self-conscious and uncomfortable, making me not fully enjoy the kiss.

"Sorry girls," Daryl said after he pulled away. "Just hadn't done that all day."

Mika and Lizzie said nothing at Daryl, Lizzie just rolled his eyes at him but Mika nodded and smiled at him, being her sweet usual self.

"Well, go for your things," Daryl told me with a wide grin.

"What?" I asked confused. "My things? For what?"

"We are going hunting," Daryl informed me.

"Are we?" I asked just as surprised.

I might be good with the bow now and I had learnt to be more quiet but still Daryl prefers to hunt on his own and I respect that, besides it's not like I enjoy shooting animals. It still gets to me whenever I have to kill an animal and that's probably why I went months without getting food but luckily Daryl did.

"You are taking me with you?" I asked him still in denial.

"If you ask one more time I swear I'll go without you," he told me, giving me a look. "Now go bring your crossbow and let's go!"

Daryl didn't have to ask me twice, I turned around and almost ran inside the prison to grab my stuff and finally go out for a while, I haven't been out since the Sean thing, around two months ago.

I grabbed my backpack, my knife, gun, crossbow and arrows and almost as fast as I got in I left. Michonne, who was going up the stairs at the same time I was going down, noticed my rush and just chuckled at me as I passed past her.

"Quite anxious, huh?" she muttered but I could hear her.

"That's an understatement," I exclaimed just before I exited block C.

When I walked out, I saw Daryl on his motorcycle, it was already on. I approached him and just raised an eyebrow before sitting behind him.

"I thought we were going to walk," I commented.

"We are not going to hunt here," he told me. "If we keep doing it, we'll run out of animals. We'll go a little further."

"And do you think taking me is a good idea?" I asked him, mostly because whenever I go with him we come back either empty-handed or only with a small animal or two.

"You have to learn sooner or later, right? And the only way is practising, so yeah, it's a good idea."

I wrapped my arms around him just before he started driving, Rick waved at us as we left and then closed the gates. It didn't take me even five seconds to feel free once we passed the fence and I was loving it.

Still, I'm not that fond of the motorcycle but at least I don't get that uneasy and scared of it like I did before, instead, I tried to enjoy it. I rested my head on Daryl's back as I enjoyed the view, today seemed so calm. So far I hadn't seen a single walker besides the ones around the prison's fence, that was always nice.

Daryl then slowed down and drove into the woods, making me hold on to him tighter, until he completely stopped and turned the engine off. I got off first, followed closely by Daryl, who put some leaves on top of the bike to hide it just in case.

"We'll leave it here," he informed me. "We don't want to scare the animals away with the noise."

Daryl led the way, being extremely quiet and alert, not only because of the animals but because of the walkers too.

About ten minutes later, Daryl spotted a squirrel but I stepped on a twig and it ran just as Daryl shot an arrow at it and because of me he missed, he just turned to give me a look.

"I'm sorry," I muttered with a fake innocent smile.

"You'll shoot the next one," Daryl told me simply.

"Alright," I whispered.

It took us about five more minutes to spot a bird. Daryl pointed at it with his index finger, I raised my crossbow, narrowed my eyes and just as I was about to shoot, it flew away, seeing I didn't try to shoot it, Daryl did it and the bird fell down to the ground, dead.

Daryl smirked, grabbed the bird and put it inside a bag he brought specially for the animals we were going to hunt. Minutes later I saw a possum before Daryl, I didn't even let him know, I just pointed at it and shot it, by the time Daryl saw it, the animal was already dead, I just smiled proudly when he turned to look at me. Daryl picked it up and then put it in the bag as well.

"Not bad," he complimented.

"Thanks," I said proudly. "First time I get something so quickly."

"You'll do even better next time."

Daryl then took my hand in his, which was quite shocking, usually when we go out hunting or on a run we are close to each other but never hold hands in case we need to shoot something quickly but for some reason he just did it now and I didn't complain.

Minutes later I saw a squirrel not far from us but Daryl let it go. I assumed he wanted me to kill it so I let go of his hand and was about to raise my crossbow but Daryl just grabbed my hand again and shook his head at me. I just looked at him funny, wondering why he let it go but he said nothing to me, he just started walking again so all I did was follow him.

"Daryl?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?" I said almost as low as a whisper, Daryl just turned to look at me and nodded. "If this is ever over, if they find a cure and the world goes back to what it used to be, without walkers and having to hide and run for our lives and you could go back to your old life, what would you change?"

"What do you mean?" Daryl asked, stopping in his tracks to look right into my eyes.

"There must be something about the way you lived before all of this that you regret, that you would want to do differently," I told him. "So Daryl, if you had the chance to go back to your old life, what would you change about it?"

"What wouldn't I change?" Daryl said with a sarcastic laugh as he started walking again. At first I thought he wasn't going to say anything else but as soon as I started to follow him, he spoke again but in a quieter and softer way. "First of all, I wouldn't go back to my old life. I'd try to make my life have a meaning, you know? Make it worth living for."

"Sounds goo..."

"And," he said quickly. "After all this time I've lived with this group and have so many people around me, I think I wouldn't be able to live on my own, especially now that Merle is gone. Actually, even before we found the prison, even before I lost him, I thought about it and realized I would need someone to spend time with me. I thought back then that I'd love to find a girl to make me company, to be there for me, and to share my life with. I know I'm making it sound like I want someone to cook for me, to do my laundry and do the chores but I mean more like someone I could feel comfortable with and spend our time doing things we both enjoy. Just someone that could love me and I could love too, someone that could give my life a meaning and I could give a meaning to that person's life... that was something I thought would be next to impossible but then you came back into my life and now I've got you. So that's what I would change, I wouldn't be the lonely, cranky, rude redneck that I was because I would have you and... well, it's nice to feel helpful, to know that people need you, that people care, so I would do something for the good of everyone, you know?"

I smiled and even blushed at his words, I was flattered he considered me so important and I was also so happy that even when things were awful now, they had changed Daryl for the better. Before, he was miserable and alone, now he was an important person in the group and lots of people look up to him, he's so loved, not only by me but by everyone and I think he has finally almost filled that empty heart of his that was almost broken beyond repair by his family.

"I've realized being alone is not a way of living, you know?" Daryl said shrugging, stopping once again to look at me. "And we must help each other. Anyway, what would you change?"

"I would enjoy every moment and every single thing I have because I always took lots of things for granted, including friends, family and opportunities," I told him as he once again grabbed one of my hands. "Also, I would at least try to not get upset so easy and not hold grunges against people. Being mad all the time is not a way of living either. All my life I wasted it being upset at my mother and father, even at Sophia for getting all the attention when she was younger, and I hated my parents and that was eating me alive, I wasn't really living. I was bitter and couldn't enjoy anything. So, I would change that."

"You have gone a long way," Daryl told me, giving me a peck on my forehead. "You have already forgiven your mother and I know how hard that was. I still haven't forgiven my parents, who knows if I ever will."

"I haven't forgiven my father yet either but I'm close," I told him with a small smile. "Michonne said that maybe that happened to me because I needed to be strong for this, to survive this world, because if my father hadn't done what he did, I wouldn't have learnt to defend myself and survive. You wouldn't have learnt to fend for yourself and live on your own, to not depend on anyone. That kind of thought helps a bit."

"Just a bit," Daryl whispered, nodding at me before he started walking again.

As we kept getting further into the woods I felt like I recognized the place, which was weird. The entire woods looks the same but for some reason I felt like I had been here before. I was about to tell that to Daryl when I saw a beautiful lake in front of us, so that's why I felt I had been here before. This was the place Daryl brought me about a year ago, before we started dating, before we stopped talking to each other because I kissed him and ruined our first kiss.

"The lake," I whispered a smiled formed in my lips. "I had forgotten about it."

"Yeah," he said. "Stupid walkers ruined my whole plan."

"And then I ruined it even more."

"Yeah, but that's in the past," he told me as he leant closer to me and pecked my lips. "I wanted to come here again but we won't swim today, though."

"That's fine," I told him. "It's a bit cold anyway."

Daryl said nothing more, he gave my hand a squeeze and pulled me with him as he started walking around the small but beautiful lake. I even saw a tiny, colourful fish jumping out of the water for just a second or two, making me remember that there is still life in this world.

"Cecilia," Daryl said softly as he looked down at the lake next to us, he had slowed down the pace. He bit his lips for a second as he made a short pause. "What I said earlier, about what I would change about my life, about wanting to have someone by my side, I really mean it."

Daryl fully stopped once again and turned a bit to his right so he was facing me now, I did the same but to my left and just looked at him with a puzzled look on my face. Daryl grabbed my other hand so now he has holding both of them, He looked down at them, refusing to look up at my face for a long while.

"I love you, Cecilia," he said as he finally lifted his gaze and looked into my eyes, that now probably looked even bluer than usual because of the reflection of the lake that was in front of me. He let go of one of my hands and started searching for something in his back pocket, he found it and took it out but he kept his hand closed in a fist so I couldn't see what he was holding at the moment. "And..." he muttered, making me look from his hand to his piercing blue eyes, but he said nothing for a while, lowering his gaze again.

"What?" I asked. Daryl cleared his throat and then met my gaze once again.

"Annika Cecilia," he said clearly and with determination, his nervousness seemed that had washed away in a matter of milliseconds. "Will you marry me?"

I gasped in complete astonishment. He looked down as he raised his closed hand, so I looked down too. He opened his hand and right there in his palm was a beautiful silver-coloured ring with white and light green stones on it, covering more than half of it.

I stared at the ring in disbelief, I couldn't believe this was happening. If I wasn't as stunned as I was, I would have pinched myself to check if this was really happening or not, but I couldn't even move. It was hard enough to believe Daryl liked me and was dating me but proposing to me was a complete shock, I never thought this day would come.

"I don't mean to pressure you but what do you say?" Daryl asked with a nervous smile on his lips. "Will ya?"

I looked from the ring in his hand to his eyes and smiled brightly at him. I tried to say yes but I couldn't form the words so I just nodded at him with the biggest smile I ever had. Daryl smiled too and sighed out of relief. He grabbed my left hand and slipped the ring in my finger, it fitted perfectly.

I wrapped my arms around Daryl's neck at the same time he wrapped his around my waist and we kissed, I couldn't help but smile the whole time.

"You planned all of this?" I asked, still in shock but still smiling.

"Just a bit," he said shrugging in a modest way. "The place just popped into my mind. I didn't want to do it in front of everyone, I wanted some privacy... In case you would say no."

"Stop," I said, giving him a look. "I could never say no to you."

I smiled more at him before I wrapped my arms around his waist instead of his neck and rested my head on his shoulder, seconds later I felt him resting his head on top of mine.

"I love you, Daryl," I whispered. "So, so much."

"But I love you more," he whispered back. "I don't really want to end this moment but we need to get back, I don't want walkers to ruin this perfect day so far, so, let's go."

Daryl's arms fell to his sides and before we started walking back, I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers. I was so thankful we hadn't seen or come across any walker today, it was like the universe was helping us making this day perfect and worth remembering.

"Are we going to tell the others?" I asked him as we were getting on his motorcycle again.

"We can wait some days if you want to," he told me. "Rick knows, though."

"So that's why he smirked and looked at me weirdly when we left?"

"Probably," Daryl said shrugging.

Daryl started the engine and before anything bad could happen, he drove away, quite fast this time. The sun was going down as we made our way back to the prison, it was a beautiful view, even making the whole day better, the sky was different shades of pink, orange, purple and blue but that also meant that everything was getting even more dangerous, night time was always more dangerous, so we needed to hurry.

When we got back, Glenn opened the gates for us, while from the tower, Maggie was shooting some walkers that were too close to the entrance.

We got back just on time for dinner. I sat next to Daryl and Rick, nobody seemed to notice the ring, which I was refusing to take off, I was thinking about wearing it forever, but they all noticed the grin on my face. Daryl, though, was acting like his normal self, he made casual talk with Rick and others around him and not once he grinned like an idiot, like I was doing.

"What's up with that smile?"

"You have been smiling since you've come, what is going on?"

"Cecilia, you seem happy today."

"What happened? You seem like you just won the lottery."

"Or like you just found the cure to this."

"Seriously, what's up?"

Those were some of the questions and comments they all said but Daryl and I said nothing about what really happened and instead I said I was so happy because I finally managed to hunt something and Daryl said that I had done pretty well compared to previous times so everyone actually believed us. They knew Daryl wouldn't lie to make me feel good, he was actually a ruthless critic. If I wasn't doing something the right way, he always told me, before trying to correct and help me.

When we were done, Daryl and I went straight to bed while the others stayed a bit longer to chat. We hadn't gotten our bigger bed yet but we had put two mattresses on the floor for now and it worked.

Daryl was lying on his back while I was resting my head on his chest, lying on my side with my eyes closed. I almost fell asleep when a thought crossed my mind, making me open my eyes and sitting up, Daryl opened his eyes to look at me.

"When did you get the ring?" I asked him.

"A while ago," he said simply.

"It was that time you went with Rick on that run, wasn't it?" I said. "The time you didn't let me go with you and refused to tell me what you were looking for."

"Yeah," he said with a sigh.

"I feel bad now. I acted like a bitch, I even got mad at you," I muttered, feeling ashamed of the way I acted. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't know, I understand you were feeling a bit anxious about having to stay back. I got it but I knew I couldn't tell you why I couldn't take you with us. Besides, you needed to be pushed out of your comfort zone, I'm glad you have improved since them."

"That's why Rick knows, because he helped you that day."

"Yeah, partly," he said but refused to elaborate. "Now let's sleep, we don't know what we will have to do tomorrow."

"Good-night, Daryl, " I whispered as I lied down again next to him.

"Good night," he whispered, giving me a kiss.

They are engaged! Who's happy about it? What do you think of the way Daryl proposed? I'll show a picture of the ring in the next chapter.  
Yesterday's new episode was actually really good, but apparently someone is going to die in the next episode. Who do you think it's going to be?

This week I have a tournament, but after that there will be no more training until January so I'll have a lot of free time. I might go back to reading, writing more, or editing more videos. Or do marathons on Netflix. I feel like reading because I think I haven't read a single book this year. Any recommendation?


	19. Chapter 19 - Attacked

"It can take years to mold a dream.

It takes only a fraction of a second for it to be shattered."

– Mary E. Pearson, The Kiss of Deception

The first person that noticed the ring was Carl. We were helping Rick with the crops two days after Daryl proposed when he saw it and asked about it. When I told him, his lips turned into a huge grin and in seconds I had his arms around me, he was probably more excited about it than Daryl and I put together, I begged him not to tell anyone and he promised he wouldn't tell a soul.

Daryl and I knew we couldn't keep this a secret for long but we didn't know how to break the news, so, every time we tried we ended up backing away and saying nothing.

Daryl told everyone about us being together almost a year ago so I decided it was my turn to tell them this time. About ten days later after Carl found out, I told everyone at breakfast and showed them the ring. Rick smiled but he didn't look surprised like the rest of them.

Beth and Maggie had their mouths wide open in shock but once they recovered, they hugged me and even hugged Daryl, who looked a bit taken aback and slowly and awkwardly hugged them back.

Glenn was as surprised as everyone but he was the first to congratulate us and to hug me, telling me I should make him my 'maid of honour' but in a male version because I was his 'best woman' at his wedding, and honestly, if I ever have a wedding I couldn't think of anyone better than Glenn.

Hershel congratulated us too but he didn't look just as happy as everyone, I always knew he didn't fully accept our relationship because of the age difference but he still respected our choices and didn't even give his opinion, which I was thankful about. Oliver flashed me a small smile but he was still in his depressive mood.

Michonne was one of the happiest people, she congratulated us both with a big smile on her lips, she hugged me tightly and patted Daryl's back. Sasha acted pretty much the same as Michonne but she hugged us both while her brother just shook our hands but he was also happy for us.

When I told them, Mika and Lizzie, were also pretty excited about the news. They hugged me both at the same time and told me how amazing it was, later when they saw Daryl, they hugged him too. Daryl even lifted Mika off the ground and carried her with one hand while he had his other hand around Lizzie's shoulder while they walked towards me.

But all that was about another ten days or so ago, everyone had gotten used to the idea of our engagement by now, even the people that didn't know us well. It was still talked every day but the fuss about it wasn't as big, except for Carl, who kept being the most excited about it.

"Earth to Cici," Michonne said as she waved a hand in front of my eyes, I blinked and shook my head.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

At the moment, Sasha, Michonne and I were on the tower keeping watch but apparently I wasn't doing my job that well.

"What are you thinking about?" Michonne asked me but she returned her gaze to the woods in front of us with her gun raised.

"I, uh, I don't remember," I lied as I looked at the woods too.

"You have been lost in thought since we came here," Sasha added. "Something must be up."

"It's silly," I muttered. "Nothing important."

"It must be," Michonne told me. "If it got you like this."

I sighed in defeat, knowing that Michonne wouldn't let it go, she was like that. If I wasn't ready to share it, though, she would still make sure to get it out of me later, mostly because she knew that bottling things up wasn't healthy for me.

"It's about your engagement?" Sasha guessed and I nodded.

"Kind of," I said. "It just got me thinking about my mum. She never liked the idea of us being together, I just wonder what she would have done about this, would she accept it for my good or make a big deal out of it?"

I looked down at my hands, at my gun, as I tried to imagine what would have happened if my mum were here. I would have definitely told her first and in private, maybe even without Daryl in the room. I would like to think she would at least pretend to be happy for me but I can never be too sure with her.

"I'm sure she wouldn't freak out or anything," Michonne told me in a soft tone.

"It doesn't even matter," I told her as I turned to look at her. "I don't even know if she's still out there."

"Don't say that," Sasha exclaimed, making me turn to look at her. "Your mother is a survivor, she's tough and she knows how to survive, besides, she's not alone."

"Right." I laughed sarcastically at her. "She's got Axel, he makes it all alright."

"Don't be so hard on him, he's nice," Michonne told me.

"Being nice won't save his ass or my mum's," I exclaimed. "If they are still alive, it's my mum who is keeping him alive, not the other way around."

"I guess you are right," Sasha told me. "But at least she's with someone out there, better than being alone."

Sasha and I got really close during these months since she joined our group because of her age and abilities but mostly because of her personality. She is fun, sarcastic sometimes and tough, a lot like me or so Michonne claimed. She's also determined and knows what she wants, she also prefers going on runs than staying behind to cook or do the laundry unlike almost every women in here, making us pretty alike and we had gone on so many runs together, that helped us bonding faster as well.

"I have to go," Michonne announced. "I promised Hershel I was going with him to look for some herbs, he wants to have some just in case."

"Alright," I said with a smile. "Want me to go with you?"

"Nah, we won't go far."

Michonne waved at us before going down the stairs, leaving only Sasha and me, I didn't mind though. It was usually just us two that kept watch.

"You'll see your mum again," Sasha said to me out of nowhere. "I'm sure of it."

"I hope you are right."

Minutes later I watched as Michonne and Hershel got on a car and left after Glenn opened the gate to let them drive through it. Then, Glenn went up the tower to take our place. I smiled at him before walking down the stairs next to Sasha, when we reached the bottom, Maggie waved at us as she walked past us to join Glenn.

I was walking to the prison when I felt strong arms wrapping around my waist from behind and lifting me off the ground, then the person spun me around a few times. I kept laughing even after I was set on the ground again, I turned around and was met by a pair of breath-taking blue eyes and a melting smile. I leant forward and kissed Daryl on the lips.

"God," Sasha muttered, I glanced at her and I saw her rolling her eyes but she had a smirk on her thin lips. "I liked it better when you didn't kiss in public." She turned around and walked away, leaving us alone.

"You have gotten heavier," Daryl said with a teasing smile.

"Oh, shut up!" I exclaimed as I grabbed the collar of his vest and pulled him closer to me before I pressed my lips against his once again, my free hand ran up his chest until it reached the back of his neck and I started playing with his hair.

"Get a room you two!" I turned to look at Oliver, who for once in a long time had a smile on his lips. I rolled my eyes at him and gave him the finger, just like he did to me when I said that same thing when he kissed Teresa all those years ago.

A couple of hours later we gathered around to have lunch, except for Glenn, who went to have a nap, he said he wasn't feeling that well.

"We should go on a run soon," I said to Rick after we ate, we were out in the courtyard with Daryl. "Judith's clothes are getting small."

"The other kids also need clothes and shoes, Carl's are getting tight," Rick told me. "We can organize a run and leave soon. We should see what other things we need and get it organi..."  
"Rick! Rick!"

We all turned around and saw Tyreese running out of block A, where the sick used to be isolated. Rick hadn't told him yet about the killer of Karen and David, mostly because he hadn't found the right moment but he always intended on telling him.

Tyreese was all hysteric and told us to follow him inside block A. Tyreese ran inside to an end of a hall very deep into the block cell, Rick, Daryl and I followed him close behind. Once we reached the end of the hall, Tyreese pointed to something really bizarre. It was what it looked like a rabbit, which was dissected.

"Look," Tyreese said, pointing at the animal.

"The hell?" Daryl muttered.

I put my hand over my mouth, I was grossed out by what I was looking. Yeah, we deal with walkers with their guts out and we kill animals to survive and eat but this was mental, this was just sick.

"I was just looking for answers and I found this," Tyreese muttered. "Same person that killed Karen and David did this. Remember the rats at the fence? They showed up the same day she was killed. We got a psychopath living with us."

About two months ago, when people started getting sick, some rats' remaining were found by the fence, where walkers would gather the most. Even after all this time we hadn't found the responsible, but whoever was it, they were crazy. They were the responsible one of the fence giving in, that person put everyone in danger and who would feed walkers? I was away when all of that happened but I was told by everyone, but mostly Carl and Glenn. All of that was completely insane, we needed to find that person.  
"Tyreese," Rick said softly.  
"We got to find him, Rick!" he exclaimed hysterically. "And I'm not gonna sleep until we do."  
"Tyreese whoever did this, I don't think that's who killed Karen," Rick told him.

Obviously it wasn't the same person, my mother wouldn't do something like this and she hadn't been here for the last two months, so, how could she?  
"Why?" Tyreese asked.

Rick was about to tell him that the person that killed them was long gone by now and that it was my mother but right then we heard a loud bang and the ground shook as some parts of the ceiling fell to the ground. Daryl grabbed me by my forearm to stabilize me, I was about to fall on my butt.

"Come on!" Daryl exclaimed before he started to run out of there, the three of us followed him quickly.

The only thing that crossed my mind was a bomb, it couldn't be just an earthquake because of the explosion sound but who would bomb us and why? This wasn't making any sense.

As the four of us ran out of the block, we also saw Maggie, Beth, and Carl running out as well but from another block cell.

"Get back!" Rick shouted at them but mostly at Carl but as usual he didn't listen.

We ran all the way to the closest fence, Bob and Sasha were already there. When I stopped running, hiding behind a wall all I could see was about eight cars and one tank right outside the prison ground, in front of the last fence.

"Rick! Come down here!" a male voice called and instantly chills went up and down my body. I could recognize that voice from miles away and anywhere.

The Governor was here.

"We need to talk!" he shouted.

We stared at the man in disbelief, after all these months he was back. I turned to look at Daryl, who didn't look scared, he looked angry, but he was as nervous as everyone. The tank tap opened then and out came two other guys. This didn't look good and at the moment only Daryl had a weapon on him, my crossbow and guns were back in my room, I only had my knife.  
"It's not up to me!" Rick shouted at him. "There's a council now. They run this place."  
"Is Hershel on the council?" he asked casually.

The Governor nodded at a woman, or I think that was a woman. She walked to a red car, opened the door and seconds later we saw her pulling someone out of the car, it was Hershel, his hands were tied behind his back. We all gasped when we saw the old man but the loudest gasps were from Maggie and Beth.

"What about Michonne?" The Governor asked and that's when my blood turned cold, if it wasn't already. I covered my mouth with my hands, when I saw her being taken out of the car by a man. "She on the council, too?"

The woman and the man made the two of them get down on their knees as they stood next to them with their big guns on their hands, ready to shoot them if we tried anything weird.

"I don't make decisions anymore!" Rick shouted again.  
"You're making the decisions today, Rick," he told him in a demanding tone. "Come down here and bring Cici with you, I can see she's alive," he commented.

At the mention of my nickname, Daryl instinctively pulled me behind him. I looked with fear in my eyes at Rick, who had the same look on his face. I understood why he wanted to talk to Rick but why me?

"Unlike what you claimed," The Governor added. "Let's have that talk."

All of us looked at each other with hesitation and anxiety. Rick knew he had to go, Hershel and Michonne were right there with a gun pointed to their heads and compared to them, we didn't have many weapons, maybe we could come to some kind of agreement.

"I'll go," Rick whispered to us but then fixed his gaze on Daryl. "I'll take care of Cecilia."

"No!" Daryl exclaimed as he stepped between Rick and I. "You can't take her out there, he'll kill her!"

"I won't let that happen," Rick said, trying to keep calm despite the situation we had in our hands now. "We have no choice, Daryl."

After some more words Daryl finally decided to agree but reluctantly. Rick nodded and turned to Carl, putting a hand over his shoulder, while I turned Daryl around to face me. I offered him a smile but I was sure it didn't look like a smile.

"Hey," I said, putting a hand on his cheek and caressing his skin with my thumb. "I'll be fine, okay? Don't worry about me."

"He killed all his people months ago, his own people!" Daryl exclaimed, trying really hard to keep his voice down. "He won't think twice about killing you! He always has wanted you and Michonne for escaping and..."

"I love you, okay?" I said quickly, looking right into his blue eyes that now looked two shades darker and his pupils were dilated. I smiled once again before softly pecking his lips.

Seconds later I felt Rick's hand on my shoulder. I nodded knowing it was time for us to go, the less we waited the better. I turned around and walked next to Rick, who still had his hand on my shoulder.

"Wait!" Carl said quickly. The boy ran to me and wrapped his arms around me, he turned me around one hundred eighty degrees so now it was his back the one that was facing the Governor and his people. "You may need this." Then I felt Carl sliding something under the waistband of my jeans, it was a small pistol, he covered the upper part of it with my shirt before he let go of me and nodded at me.

"What if you need it?" I asked him.  
"I'll get another one," Carl told me. "Now go."

I nodded at the boy, kissed the top of his head and then followed Rick past the fence. Rick and I slowly made our way through the courtyard, Rick had his hand on his gun the whole time, while I had my arms crossed over my chest, looking at Hershel, Michonne and the Governor the whole time.

"Let them go right now," Rick said as soon as we got only a few foot away from the second fence. The tower I was on to keep watch early today was on fire, meaning that was what they bombed minutes ago. "I'll stay down here. Talk as long as you want. But you let 'em go. You got a tank. You don't need hostages, you don't need Cici here either."  
"I do," The Governor said, nodding. He was standing on the tank, looking right at us. His men behind him that were inside the tank were pointing his guns at us. "This is just to show you I'm serious. not to blast a hole in our new home."

I tried not to gasp at what he said, so, this wasn't some kind of revenge, at least not completely. He wanted the prison, our prison. He wanted our home.  
"You and your people, you have till sundown to get out of here or they die."  
"Doesn't have to go down this way," Rick told him, as he shook his head in disbelief.

It was until then than I looked at the other people. There were mostly men, all heavily armed. But there was a certain redhead guy that got my attention. He was holding a bit gun and he didn't look scared at all, he looked like a soldier ready to battle. When I met him he had never killed a walker, he seemed quite pathetic to be honest and now he was ready to kill people. Chris had survived all these months against all odds, I was so surprised to see him here and not his brother Wayne, he was the one that seemed tough.  
"I got more people, more firepower," he said looking all around him. "We need this prison. There it is. It's not about the past," he informed us as he looked right at me like if this whole thing was my fault. "It's about right now."  
"There are children here," Rick told him in a very soft tone. "Some of them are sick. They won't survive."

Even when the virus attacked us two months ago, there had been a few relapses and some other people that didn't get sick before, got sick recently but no one else had died because of it.  
"I have a tank and I'm letting you walk away from here," The Governor said shrugging as if that was the best deal we could ever be offered, like if he was the most reasonable and nice man here. "What else is there to talk about?"

"And why do you need me here?" I asked him, speaking for the first time, earning everyone's attention. "I'm not even part of the council."

"I just wanted to see you better, to prove that Rick is not a man of his word," he said with a sarcastic laugh. "He said you were dead and yet here you are."

"He did that to protect me!" I exclaimed, raising my voice and allowing my anger and frustration to show. "You were going to kill me and Michonne!"

"That isn't true," he told me, as for once he didn't look at Rick but just at me. "That's all in the past, anyway."

"You killed Merle, Teresa, Andr..."

"We were at war, we all lost people," he said quickly.

"Let her go," Rick told him. "She has nothing to do with this. It's me who you want"

"Not quite true. Cici and I have pending things to discuss," he said.

"Please," Rick pleaded.

"I could shoot you all," he said, ignoring what Rick said. "You'd all shoot back. I know that. But we'll win and you'll be dead. All of you. Doesn't have to be like that, like I said, it's your choice."

Then we heard the typical snarling of walkers. Two were approaching us. The Governor took out his gun and shot at the first, killing him on the first try but he had to use two bullets to kill the second one, then he slowly turned to look at Rick and me.

"Noise will only draw more of them over," he said with a small grin. "The longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to get out of here."

Rick and I turned to look at each other with fear in our eyes. This man was determined to take what it belonged to us and he was willing to kill us all if he needed to do it.  
"You got maybe about an hour of sunlight left," he commented, glancing at the sky. "I suggest you start packing. The longer you wait, the harder it's going to be for you to get out of here.  
"We can all –" Rick started but his voice broke. "We can all live together. There's enough room for all of us."  
"More than enough," The Governor agreed. "But I don't think my family would sleep well knowing that you were under the same roof."  
"We'd live in different cell blocks," I told him. I didn't like the idea of him being so close to us but if it meant we get to stay here without any death, then so be it.  
"We'd never have to see each other till we're all ready," Rick added.

"It could work. You know it could," Hershel exclaimed, looking back at the Governor.  
"It could've," he agreed again. "But it can't. Not after Woodbury, not after Andrea."

I stiffened a bit at the mention of her name. He purposely killed Milton and left him there so he could bite her. And he also killed Merle, even after he was an important person to him.  
"Look, I'm not saying it's gonna be easy," Rick told him. "Fact is, it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder than standing here shooting at each other. But I don't think we have a choice."  
"We don't, you do," he said with a small grin on his lips.  
"We're not leaving," Rick exclaimed with authority, at that the Governor's face changed a bit, he didn't like what he was hearing. "You try and force us, we'll fight back. Like you said, the gunshots will just bring more of them out. They'll take down the fences, without the fences, this place is worthless. Now, we can all live in the prison or none of us can."

Getting even angrier, the Governor jumped out of the tank right after Rick finished his sentence. He approached a man and I thought he was going to grab a gun and shoot us both, making me reach for the gun hid behind me, but I didn't take it out, not yet. But instead of grabbing a gun, he grabbed Michonne's katana. He rushed to Hershel's side and held the sword right on his neck. I was freaking out right now but I remained calm, I couldn't lose my cool right now.

"You!" Rick exclaimed, pointing at someone on the other side of the fences. "You in the ponytails. Is this what you want? Is this what any of you want?"

The girl Rick was talking to was a brunette, young girl, probably around my age, that looked even more terrified than us. She was the only one not holding a gun.

"What we want is what you got," the man in the tank muttered. "Period. Time for you to leave, asshole."

"Chris!" I exclaimed quickly, talking a step forward as I looked at the redhead. "We were friends, you know we are not bad people. We... we took your sister in. She had no one and we rescued her and let her live here. You don't have to do this."

"Is she here? I want to talk to Amanda," Chris demanded.

"She's sick," I lied quickly. "She can't come here now. But we did that for her and we can do the same with you. You just have to stop this."

Chris now looked doubtful. He looked down at his gun as he weighed his options, the others stayed silent too. If I could talk Chris into this maybe that would convince the rest. It was worth a shot.  
"Look, I fought him before," Rick informed them after no one talked for a while, deciding that if he couldn't convince the Governor himself, he could possibly convince his people. "And after, we took in his old friends. Including your sister, Chris. They've become leaders in what we have here. Now you put down your weapons, walk through those gates, you're one of us."

I could see how his words softened some of the people there, I saw it in their expressions, including the girl Rick talked to before. But it didn't do anything to the Governor and some of his people.  
"We let go of all of it, and nobody dies," Rick continued. "Everyone who's alive right now. Everyone who's made it this far. We've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive."

As he said that I got quick flashbacks when I killed those two men in Woodbury all those months ago, and how I went through the woods by myself when I went missing, and also remembered those days I was held captive by Sean.

"But we can still come back," Rick told them, making me snap out of my memories. The Governor looked a bit softened by that, he gulped a few times. "We're not too far gone. We get to come back. I know we all can change."

The Governor looked down at the Katana in his hands with a look of compassion, I think. He held the sword farther from Hershel as he looked at it. For a moment I thought Rick's words had touched his heart, but then he looked up at us and glared at Rick with his only eye left.  
"Liar," he muttered.

In a very fast movement, he brought the sword to shoulder length like he was holding a bat and with all his force he made a swing and hit Hershel right in his neck. I had to blink several times because I didn't believe what I was seeing, this couldn't be happening. For a moment it felt like the time froze as we all stared in complete shock at the old man, until he fell down to the floor, blood covering his shirt.  
"No!" Rick shouted as he took out his gun and started shooting. He hit the Governor in the shoulder with the first bullet he shot.

I took out the gun Carl had given me and started shooting as well, at the same as I started running back. I managed to hit the girl that took Hershel out of the car in her left thigh and shot a man in his thirties on his chest. I killed that one.

I couldn't keep shooting because everyone was shooting at us, luckily a bus that was lying on its side was close to us. Rick and I ran towards it, we both had almost made it behind the bus to take cover when I heard Rick screaming. I turned quickly and before I could see the damage, I grabbed his arms and pulled him out of their view. Once I did, I notice he had been shot in his thigh.

What felt like eternity, I heard hundreds of gunshots from both sides but most came from the Governor's people, I just hoped that didn't mean that they had killed some of our own. I just hoped that Daryl and Carl were okay, that Judith, Lizzie and Mika were okay, that Michonne was alive.

I was tearing a part of my shirt to tie around Rick's leg when I heard a metallic sound, a different one that sure didn't mean anything good. I finished tying the shirt around Rick's leg and crawl to the edge of the bus to have a better view and saw the tank bringing the first fence down and going to the second one.

"Rick the fence is down!" I exclaimed in despair. "What do we do?"

"We fight!" he said, standing up.

Seconds later we heard more explosions and I really hoped everyone was okay and alive. We saw how people drove inside our prison ground and how the tank advanced forward as it kept shooting, people hid behind it as they shot at my family, screams were heard all over the place making me more jumpy and anxious about just staying there, watching horrified the scene in front of me.

Then we saw the Governor walking right in front of us, he was probably hiding behind the other part of the bus. Rick jumped on him and tackled him to the ground in a matter of a second. Rick was on top of him as he started punching him.

I was about to help him by killing the son of a bitch with my gun when the girl I shot earlier spotted me and ran towards me, she was limping but she was fast enough to tackle me to the ground before I could shoot at her.

I saw the two men standing up and fighting but I couldn't do anything, I had my hands full at the moment. The brunette girl was trying to pin my hands to the grounds but I didn't let her, I kept punching her in the face from my position on the ground, under her. I pushed myself up with the help of my legs and managed to get her off of me. I stood up quickly, looking for the gun but before I could grab it, the girl punched me in the stomach with her rifle, taking my breath away, I crouched over, holding my stomach when she brought her knee up and hit me on my jaw, I fell to the ground a bit disorientated but that didn't stop me, I forced myself to recover quickly, I stood up as fast as I could and swung at her, hitting her on her nose.

She screamed out of fury as she ran to me and punched me right on my face before I could even react. I felt blood running down my face but at the moment I wasn't sure where it came from, the pain in my jaw from where she hit me with her knee made my whole face hurt.

The girl once again tried to punch me but I grabbed her wrist, stopping her. I grabbed her other wrist before she could try anything and we struggled like that for a while until I had to let go, when I did she quickly grabbed me from behind, wrapping an arm around my collarbones. She raised her arm a bit, trying to choke me, I tried to bit her but I couldn't. I was having trouble breathing, so I scratched her and tried to bite her but she didn't let go. I was really running out of air when I raised my leg and brought it back really quickly and kicked her in the knee, immediately she let go of me as she screamed at the top of her lungs. She fell down to the ground, bringing her hands to her knee, I knew I had broken it.

I smirked down at her, grabbed the knife I had and sat on her like she had done to me earlier. Before she could blink or anything else I stabbed her right in the middle of her forehead. I removed the knife quickly and just took a moment to recover, I had never killed a person like this, watching the person into their eyes as life slipped away from them. I had killed before but I didn't stay long enough to see and it was from several feet away, right now I was the closest I could have been as I killed her, this was a new level for me, a limit I never thought I would cross.

I came back to my senses soon enough to see Michonne approaching the Governor from behind, who was trying to choke Rick. I stood up quickly as Michonne deeply thrust her sword right in his stomach. I could see the other end of the sword going out of his body, when Michonne pulled the sword out, which sounded really gross, the Governor fell on top of Rick.

I ran to Rick to check if he was okay, if he was alive. I pushed the Governor off of Rick and knelt next to him, who kept gasping for air. He was so beaten up and he looked really bad.

"Carl? Where's Carl?" Rick asked in between deep breaths.

"I don't know," I told him as I grabbed the gun again. "I'll go look for him."

Before Rick could protest or anything I stood up and ran towards the prison, as I did I realized that only a few gunshots were heard now and the explosions had seized, but two more were heard right after I thought there were no more bombs.  
"Carl!" I shouted. "Carl!"

I ran all around the place, trying to find the boy. I just could hope that if he wasn't here that he was on the bus, away from this battlefield. Someone started shooting at me so I just ran faster and tried to avoid the bullets. I turned a corner and took deep breaths as I took a small break and that's when I saw Chris, he had a rifle in his hands and he had blood on his shirt, I felt such rage when I saw that.

"How could you?" I shouted, earning his attention. "That man killed all his people and you still helped him. For all you know he could have killed your brother."

"Don't you dare speak about him!" he yelled at me.

"How could you be part of this when you know your own sister was here?" I lied, knowing Amanda died months ago, but he didn't know that. "Who knows if she is still alive, maybe you killed her."

"Shut up! Shut up!" Chris yelled. I was really shocked he went along with all of this after I told him Amanda was here, I was glad I was now telling him how trash of a human he was.

Then Chris spotted someone, he raised his weapon and even before I could register what I was doing, I raised my own gun and shot him on the head, I wasn't going to let him kill more members of my family. The person Chris was trying to kill was Carl, which just made me feel even more rage.

Carl ran to me, he was holding a big rifle in his hands and had the strap of my crossbow over his shoulders. I smiled as I ran to him as well, wrapping him in a quick tight hug.  
"Your dad is right there," I told him, pointing to my right. "I'll go find Daryl."

"You can't leave me!" Carl pleaded. "Please, once I find my dad you can go, please, Cici."

"Okay," I said with a sigh. "Come on!"

I put the gun in my waistband again and took the crossbow quickly from Carl and kept it in my hands instead of the gun. Carl and I started running in the direction I knew Rick was. As we got closer we faintly heard Rick calling for Carl.

We turned a corner and saw three walkers going towards Rick, Carl shot one of the walkers and I took care of the other two. Carl ran to his father and they embraced as I retrieved my two arrows.

"Judith," Rick whispered as he pulled away from the hug, his voice was so hoarse from the chocking earlier, mine wasn't as bad. "Where is she?"

"I don't know," Carl whispered.

Rick hugged Carl once again before we all agreed to walk around the prison to look for Judith and Daryl. I wanted to run and make it all quick but by looking at Carl and Rick I knew I couldn't leave them, Rick was so bad at the moment he could just collapse to the ground and then what would Carl do?

I got on the other side of Rick to help Carl support him as we walked around what we used to call home, but now it was all destroyed. Walls were tumbled down to the ground, there was fire everywhere, there were bodies lying on the ground and there were walkers feeding from some, it was a horrible sight.

We were going right where the tank was left, which was on fire too, when we saw Judith's carrier a few feet away from us. The three of us walk towards it to find it empty and not just that, but it was also bloody, tears filled my eyes, knowing Judith was gone. Rick started sobbing but Carl stayed quiet, staring in disbelief at the carrier.

Then we heard snarling close to us. Carl quickly pulled away from his father grip and shot the walker right in the head, but even after the walker fell down dead to the ground Carl shot it two more times, he tried to shoot it more in a desperate way but he had run out of ammunition. Quickly, Rick made his way towards the broken boy.

"Carl, Carl!" he exclaimed but he didn't react, Carl just kept trying to shoot. Rick embraced him from behind and that's when Carl finally broke down. "We've got to get out of here."  
"What about Daryl?" I asked. "You go, I'll look for him quickly, I'll catch up with you."

"There's no one left here," Rick told me. "We've got to go."

I bit my lip trying not to cry because I knew what he said was true but I didn't want to admit it. There was not a living soul in here besides us and the wounded on the ground that were going to get eaten by the walkers around here.

Daryl was not here anymore, neither was Sasha, Mika, Lizzie or Glenn. They were all gone. Maggie, Beth, Oliver, they were all gone if they weren't dead.

"It's over," he told us both as Carl kept crying in his arms. "It's over. It's over."

I didn't nod or say anything to Rick, I knew he was right but I couldn't accept it, at least not yet. I was going to look for Daryl one more time when the wall in front of us started to tremble, as soon as we could we got away from it as it started to fall down. This place was too dangerous to be here so, with the biggest ache of my heart, I wrapped an around around Rick again and together we walked away from our home.

As we made our way out of the prison ground, whenever walkers were closed I let got of Rick and shot the walkers with my crossbow so no sound came out of it to attract even more walkers, I retrieved my arrows before helping Carl with Rick again.

We passed the little river that passed closed to the prison when I felt the need to look back at the prison, maybe I could spot Daryl or someone else. I needed to see.

"Don't look back, none of you," Rick said as if he could read my mind. "Just keep walking."

I bit my lip and with every ounce of willpower I kept going forward and not once I looked back even when I wanted to do it with all my heart even when I knew it would break me. The three of us just kept going and going until we got into the woods.

I couldn't post this Tuesday guys, I have been a bit busy. But it finally happened, the prison attack. What do you think of Cecilia ending up with Carl and Rick? What do you think will happen now that they got separated?


	20. Chapter 20 - Shattered

"Never lose faith in yourself, and never lose hope;

remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back, there is still always hope."

Pittacus Lore, The Power of Six

"You sleep, I'll keep watch," I said to Rick and Carl as we helped Rick sit on the ground, next to a tree so he could rest his back against it.

It was already dark and we had no flashlights, everything was so dark we could barely see a couple of feet in front of us, luckily walkers made a lot of noise all the time so if one was close we would hear it.

"But you are tired too, I'll keep watch," Carl told me, standing next to Rick.

"No," I told him firmly. "You rest, I'll wake you up in a few hours."

Reluctantly, Carl sat next to his father and rested his head against the tree, closing his blue eyes, while I stayed on my feet close to them. If I sit I was sure I could fall asleep and I didn't want that, I couldn't fall asleep and making us all vulnerable.

Hot tears welled up in my eyes as I thought about what happened only four or so hours ago, how our home was destroyed, how they got inside, shooting at us and bringing down everything we had worked so hard for.

A lump was formed in my throat as the image of Hershel being almost decapitated crossed my mind. That memory would be on my mind for a very long time, if not forever. All I could hope was that he went quickly and that he didn't suffer as much, same goes to Michonne, she was with them when we opened fire, it was obvious she was dead.

My train of thoughts was interrupted by a sharp pain in my stomach, I had to crouch over and wrap my arms around it. I had been having them since that bitch hit me hard in my stomach when we were fighting.

The pain kept coming and going, it didn't last more than ten or fifteen seconds before it goes again. And it hadn't been that often, so I just kept going, ignoring it but now that it's just me in the dark, I paid attention to it.

Hopefully it's nothing serious, nothing life threatening, hopefully nothing tore inside of me, like a muscle or an important organ. Hopefully it was just the pain itself of the impact, nothing else and that it would go away on its own in a few days, maybe sooner.

As the previous three times, the pain went away in a matter of seconds and it was like it never happened. I tried to focus on other things to not worry about the pain.

I heard Carl's deep and heavy breathing, meaning he had finally fallen asleep, I smiled at him, I was glad he was okay, that Rick was alive even when he was so beaten up.

I started to pace then, it was going to be a long night and I needed to do something to keep myself awake. So, I kept walking in front of Rick and Carl, trying to be as quiet as I could to not wake them up and to not attract unwanted company.

I looked up at the sky but because of the vast trees I couldn't see it, or the stars or the moon, all I saw was darkness. I bit my lip as a lump formed in my throat once again. I closed my eyes tightly as Daryl crossed my mind.

The last time I ever saw him was when The Governor called Rick and me to meet him by the fence. I assured him I was going to be okay and I had kept that promise, I wasn't killed, I made it out.. with some bruises and cuts but I was okay.

"Daryl," I said, trying hard not to look at the ring in my finger, which now seemed like it weighed a ton. If I saw it, I'd break down crying for sure. "If you're out there, I'll find you, I'll do it, I promise."

About two hours later, I heard the snarling of walkers. My head shot up in the direction of the sound and I approached it with my crossbow raised. In the dark I could just make out two thin figures. I shot two arrows at them and they fell down to the ground, making the snarling stop.

I sighed in relief there were no more, at least for now, these woods weren't safe, especially when it was as dark as tonight. If these things didn't make any sound we probably wouldn't see them until it was too late.

And like that, the longest night of my life passed by. I decided not to wake up Carl or Rick, they needed the rest more than I did. Throughout the night I killed twelve more walkers, Rick woke up twice but I assured him everything was fine and that he could go back to sleep, I had everything under control.

About half an hour after sunrise, Carl slowly opened his eyes. He took a deep breath as he stretched and then he rubbed his eyes. He looked okay until he realized it was daytime already.

As he was waking up, I raised my shirt and looked at my stomach, which was all bruised, bright purple bruises covered from my bellybutton to below my chest, it was a very nasty bruise and I considered it that, even when during my whole childhood I was covered in bruises.

"You didn't wake me up!" he accused me as he glared at me and stood up quickly.

"I didn't realize how much time has passed," I lied. I did know when I should wake Carl up but I saw him sleeping so peacefully I couldn't wake him up. "We should leave, maybe we can find a place to stay for now and some food."

Together, Carl and I woke Rick up and helped him get on his feet, Rick was pretty bad. His face was all bruised and still bloody and he even had an eye closed from all the punches from the Governor and he was limping from the shot he got in his thigh.

"Let's go," I told them and then we started walking.

As the day before, whenever we saw a walker I would let go of Rick and shoot it with my crossbow because it was silent and I could reused the arrows and we needed to save all the bullets we had, we didn't know when we could need them.

At the pace we were walking, it took us about three hours to get out of the woods and got on a road, I wasn't sure if here would be safer but we needed to find food and at the moment we could only find it in a house.

"Ugh," I groaned as another sharp flash of pain hit my stomach, I put my free hand over it and stopped in my tracks for only a second but still Rick and Carl noticed.

"What is it?" Rick asked me with his hoarse voice, he still hadn't gotten better from the chocking.

"Nothing," I said quickly.

"What is it, Cecilia?" Rick asked me in a stern tone. I sighed and looked down at the ground.

"I'm just having this pain in my stomach for a few seconds before it goes," I said like it wasn't a big deal. "I'm sure it will go away soon, it's nothing, Rick. Don't worry."

Not much after that, Carl let go of Rick and walked a few feet ahead of us, not once turning his head back to check on us. He hadn't said a single word since we woke Rick up, he hadn't even looked at his father since we started walking again. I had tried to get him to at least walk next to us but he didn't even seem like he heard me.

"Carl, slow down," Rick ordered as he struggled to keep up with this fast pace. His left arm was over my shoulders and my right arm was around his waist, even I was having a hard time trying to keep up with Carl.

The young boy didn't react to his father's voice, he just ignored him as he had ignored me earlier. I knew he was upset, I was upset too but he didn't have to act like a little brat, not right now.

"Carl, stop!" Rick yelled, finally losing his patience. Carl finally stopped walking but didn't turned around to look at us. "We need to stay together!"

Rick removed his arm from around me and on his own he limped towards Carl, he kept panting because of the effort he was making but I decided to stay there on my spot, knowing Rick was going to talk to Carl and I had nothing to do with that.  
"We got to find a place with food, supplies," Rick told him as he finally caught up with Carl, who just looked down at the ground. "Hey," Rick muttered as he laid a hand on Carl's shoulder. "We're gonna be..."

Carl turned to look at Rick with a glare on his face that could kill anyone, I couldn't see him well from here but still I caught the way he was looking at Rick. Rick just looked back at him completely astonished. Without saying a single word, Carl jerked his shoulder and kept walking forward, leaving a stunned Rick behind.

I looked sadly at the scene before I decided to walked towards Rick. I offered him a small smile before I wrapped an arm around his waist once again and told him to rest his on my shoulders so I could help him walk.

"I'm fine, Cici," he muttered. "You must save your strength."

"Don't worry about me," I told him as we started walking. "I'm good, we just need to find a place and some food."

All around us were trees and vegetation so, that would take a while, especially at this pace. But at least we had found a road which led to civilization and I didn't mind helping Rick, what I mind was that Carl was acting horrible towards him.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" I asked in a low tone so Carl wouldn't hear.

"Not right now, let him be," he told me. "You can tell him something later and I'll have a talk with him after we find somewhere we can stay for a bit. How are you holding up?"

"I'm worried," I admitted. "About the rest, mostly about Mika and Lizzie. I don't know if they are safe or alive."

"I can't assure you if they are okay or not but if you're worrying about Daryl, I am sure he's okay. He's a survivor," he told me. "If anyone got out of there alive and well, that would be him."

"I know but I can't help it, what if...?"

"Don't think like that, it doesn't make you any good," he told me quickly. "Let's just focus on staying alive and then we'll worry about the rest. You still have that pain in your stomach?"

"It comes and goes," I told him, giving it no importance. "That woman hit me really hard there, that must be it. I'm all bruised but nothing to worry about."

As we kept walking the beautiful blue sky above us got covered by light grey clouds, making the day even more gloomy.

The atmosphere was tensed and awkward, Carl was too upset to even look at us, Rick probably wanted to shout at him for his attitude and I really wanted to get Carl into his senses for everyone's sake, it wasn't nice to see him like this.

It wasn't until around midday when we came across a diner, it was called Joe & Joe Jr., in the parking lot there were a few abandoned motorcycles. I felt a pang in my heart when I saw them, they reminded me of Daryl.

"Wait outside, okay?" Rick told us when we reached the door of the place. "Keep watch."  
"You keep watch," Carl exclaimed, it was the first thing he had said to Rick all day. "You can barely stand. I'm not gonna let you go in there alone."  
"Excuse me?" Rick asked in an angry tone.

"We've done this before. I'm gonna help you clear it," Carl said in a determined tone. "You should just let me do it myself."

"You know what?" I exclaimed, getting sick of the two of them. "I'll go first, if you want to go in, then fine."

I walked past Carl and stood next to Rick, I nodded at him to tell him to open the door as I had my crossbow raised, ready in case I needed it. Rick nodded back, not wanting to argue with me and a few seconds later he opened the door.

We walked in quickly with our weapons raised. We checked the entrance and the kitchen first and apparently there were no walkers or people here.  
"Kitchen's clear," Rick muttered as Carl and I had gone into the next room.

This room was supposed to be where the people ate but right now was a complete mess, all the furniture were put together, one on top of another, making a pile. I wasn't sure what was the purpose of it until I heard the snarling.

"That might be all that's left," Rick told us, referring to the food on a shelf on the other side of the furniture. We needed to kill the walker to get those supplies.  
"I can get it from here," Carl said, raising his gun.  
"No," Rick said firmly. "No, it's weak. I'll draw it out."

"I can shoot him," I offered as I shrugged.  
"I got him," Rick told me, grabbing an axe. "Stay back."

Rick quickly brought a couple of chairs down to the ground, the walker wasted no time to walk towards Rick, who tried to hit him in his forehead with the axe but the weapon got stuck in its skull and the walker was still alive and trying to get Rick.  
"Damn it!" Rick exclaimed and then turned to look at Carl, who was ready to shoot. "Don't!"

I was about to help Rick and shoot the walker in its head when I heard another moans from behind us, I turned around quickly and saw two more walkers walking in. I made my way to them and shot the first walker quickly, I was reloading the crossbow when I heard a gunshot and a loud thud. I shot the second walker and turned to look at Rick and Carl.

"I said not to!" Rick angrily said to Carl.  
"You couldn't do it with the axe!" Carl shouted.  
"I had it! Every bullet counts. What if you needed that one later?" Rick told him. "See what you can find, then let's move on."

I awkwardly retrieved my arrows and walked to the other side of the place while Carl went to the shelf to grab what was there and Rick went to the kitchen. There was a small room on the other side of the entrance where I found two bags of chips, some ketchup and a half-empty jar of honey, after I put everything in a bag, I checked behind the counter, where I only found an opened bottle of liquor, I didn't intend to drink soon but it could get handy, even to clean some of our wounds, so I took it.

Then I walked back to where Carl was, followed closely by Rick. The three of us had found some stuff so that was good.  
"Kitchen wasn't empty after all," Rick said. "My haul. You?"

Carl glanced first at my bag and how full it was, the two bags of chips, which were mostly air, took some room, though, then he turned to look at Rick's with a very cold expression on his face.

"I win," he muttered before walking out of the diner.

I sighed out of frustration, as before, I just offered Rick a small smile and wrapped my arm around him to help him walk. He insisted he could walk by himself but I told him he needed to save his strength in case we needed to run or fight more walkers, I was tired because I didn't sleep all night but I could keep up.

As before, Carl walked ahead of us, not even once he turned around to check if we were fine. He could at least help with Rick but he didn't.

"Hey!" Rick exclaimed but as before Carl just ignored him. "Hey!"  
"Carl!" I said loudly, he glanced my way but didn't stop, and he looked at me so quickly I was wondering if he ever looked at me.

"Hey," Rick repeated as Carl stopped in front of a nice looking house. We had passed a few but all of them had the doors open so they couldn't be safe, this one looked better than those. "That one's as good as any."  
This time Rick went inside first, followed by me and lastly Carl. At first sight the house seemed empty, Carl went to the right, Rick to the left and I walked forward, the three of us had our weapons raised.

"Carl," Rick said in a low tone when he saw him. The rooms all connected to each other here, so we all ended in the same place, kind of.

"I got it. All the doors down here are open."  
"Just stop!" Rick said angrily.

Carl's arms fell to his side and then he turned around to face Rick, by the look on his face I knew whatever he was going to say wasn't going to be nice. I was about to walk towards him to calm him down a bit but before I could he started shouting.

"Hey, asshole!" he shouted as he hit the wall with his fist, making a lot of noise. "Hey, shitface! Hey –!"

"Watch your mouth!" Rick exclaimed sternly, while I just looked at the boy with a sad look on my face.

"Are you kidding me? If there's one of them down there, they would have come out."  
None of us said anything else, instead Carl walked away and headed upstairs, with a sigh I followed him while Rick went to check the kitchen. Carl went inside a room that apparently belonged to a young boy, probably around Carl's age. It was painted dark green and light green on another wall, I instantly liked this boy, whoever he was because green was my favourite colour. He had a lot of toys and video games. When I looked at Carl, I spotted a small smile on his lips.

"Carl," I muttered, making him jump a bit, he hadn't seen me coming. I was leant against the door frame while he was around the middle of the room.

"Leave me alone," he mumbled, his back facing me. I sighed.

"Don't be so hard on your dad, Carl. You don't have to talk to him now if you don't want to but you can't be rude to him, you have to respect him," I told him. "Wasn't you who told me you were going to forgive me because we don't have time to waste on being mad at people? I followed your advice and forgave my mother, you should do the same."

"This is different, Cici!" he exclaimed, turning to look at me. "You don't get it!"

"Then why don't you explain it to me?"

"I just don't understand how you can be so nice to him when Daryl is dead because of him!" he exclaimed, raising his voice a bit at the last part, I bit my lip trying to pretend his words didn't hurt me.

"We don't know that, Carl. He can be alive."

"What about your mum? He kicked her out!"

"He had his reasons, Carl," I told him calmly. "I don't blame him."

"Well, I do and you should do too," he told me. "He got everything he deserved."

"Hey!" I exclaimed getting angry. "He's human, he makes mistakes. And no matter how bad he messes up, he's still your father and you must respect him. I hated my mum but I didn't disrespect her. He loves you with all his heart, all he does it's because of your good, keep that in mind."

With that I walked away and checked the other rooms and they were all empty, then I walked into the master bathroom and locked myself in there and then I looked at my reflection. My hair was all over the place, my clothes were dirty and I had holes on my trousers around my knees. The woman had busted my lip and I had dried blood around there and a cut on my jaw, which was bruised too. I also had a thin cut above my left eyebrow and left cheek.

I removed my shirt and took a look at the damage. My whole stomach was bruised like I had seen earlier but now that I was looking at it on the mirror the bruise seemed even bigger. I also had small bruises on my shoulders, upper back and arms. My knuckles were bloody as well, all of me was a complete mess but we had more important things to worry about, so I just put my hair in a high somewhat messy bun and washed my face with water and some soap that I was lucky to find, cleaning my wounds and removing the dry blood.

The rest of the day until it got dark, we spent it closing all windows and doors and making sure they stayed closed, except for the main door, we left that for last. Carl made a strong and good knot on that door as I checked if the window next to it was locked as well, while Rick was pushing an overturned sofa towards the door.

"I tied the door shut," Carl told him when he noticed what Rick was doing.  
"We don't need to take any chances," Rick replied as he kept pushing.  
"You don't think it'll hold?"

"Carl!" I exclaimed. "We better be cautious, you know?"  
"It's a strong knot. Clove hitch," Carl said, looking from me to his father. "Shane taught me. Remember him?"

Well, that was a new low for Carl.

"Yeah, I remember him. I remember him every day," Rick told him. "There's something else you want to say to me?"

Carl said nothing else, he just walked to the other side of the sofa and started to push, I helped from the other side and Rick pushed from one of it, until it was right next to the door. Then, we turned it again, so it would be in its normal position. When we finished, Rick kept breathing heavy, anything took him so much energy.

"This will have to do for the night," Rick told us.

Rick then went to sit on the edge of the sofa that was next to the door and searched his bag for something to eat, while Carl sat on the opposite edge, leaving me no choice but to sit in the middle.  
"You gonna have some?" Carl asked as his father offered him a bag of cereal.

"You should eat," Rick muttered.  
"We should save it," Carl told him.

Carl stood up, grabbed some sheets and a cushion from the sofa and laid it on the ground where he was going to sleep. I stood up as well, determined to let Rick sleep on the couch, he was the worst and he needed some good rest, I was going to find somewhere else, maybe even upstairs.

As I was thinking what to do and where to sleep, Rick stood up and walked towards Carl, offering him the bag of cereal again.

"Hey."

"I don't want any," Carl told him. Rick was so sick of his attitude, he threw the bag where Carl was going to sleep.  
"Eat it! Now!" Rick said in an authoritative tone as he limped past Carl, towards the bathroom, probably to do what I did earlier, clean his face from the dried blood and check his injuries, leaving Carl and I.

"Ca..."

"Don't," he exclaimed quickly, interrupting me.

"I was just going to tell you that I was going to sleep upstairs," I said, standing up. "Maybe in the room we talked earlier."

"Why aren't you staying here with us?"

"Honestly?" I said with a small smile. "I don't want to sleep on the floor."

"You could sleep with me," Carl told me shyly.

"Do you want me to sleep with you?" I asked as I raised my eyebrows at him.

"My dad and I will sleep here and like you said, there's nowhere else you could sleep besides the floor," Carl said as he played with his fingers. "You shouldn't be on your own."

"Alright," I said with a chuckle. "I'll just go upstairs and bring a blanket."

I ruffled Carl's hair as I passed past him, he finally put his hat down, he hadn't stopped wearing it since the Governor attacked us.

I rushed upstairs and went inside the master bedroom and grabbed two blankets from there plus a big, soft pillow. I was going back down when I got another sharp pain in my stomach. I had to stop in my tracks, hold my stomach like I could, I was still carrying the blankets and the pillow, and closed my eyes tightly as I waited for it to go. I silently counted and this time the pain lasted around the double, which I really didn't like. It was getting worse instead of improving.

Once the pain was gone, I pushed it to the back of my mind and continued my way downstairs. Carl had already put the sheets by then, I threw the pillow at him and set one blanket on the couch so Rick could use it once he was back. Carl helped me put the blanket and together we got under it, resting our heads on the nice pillow.

The cushions of the sofa were too narrow that Carl and I had to lie on our sides so we could both fit, at the moment he was lying on his left side and I was lying on my right, facing each other.

"This is nice, isn't it?"

"Better than a tree," Carl told me. "And warmer."

"And warmer," I agreed with a small smile. "You know, you may think that your dad has the fault but I'm to blame too. Michonne went out looking for him all these months and I didn't. I thought we would never find him or that he was dead. A part of me just wanted to forget him, so I just continued my life like if he wasn't a threat."

"I don't blame you," he mumbled. "And you shouldn't blame yourself either. Cecilia?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad you're alive," he told me, looking right into my light blue eyes. "I'm glad that from all the possibilities, you ended up with us... with me."

"Carl," I said with a big smile. "You have no idea how happy I am that I found you in that chaos and that I'm here with you."

"Even when you're not with Daryl?"

"I promised you I'd never leave you again, didn't I?" I exclaimed. "Besides, you need me now."

"Yeah," he admitted. "Thanks!"

"For what?"

"For keeping your promise," he told me with a big smile.

"You don't have to thank me for that," I told him before I kissed the top of his head. "Now let's sleep, alright?"

"Good-night, Cici."

"Good-night, Carl."

Hello guys, I had forgotten I was going to update today, that's why it's this late.  
I hoped you liked the chapter, and what do you think will happen when Daryl and Cecilia reunite?  
I'm posting twice for Christmas so next update will be on Saturday :)


	21. Chapter 21 - Frenzy of Rage

"Hard times never last. Let your hope keep you joyful."

? Lailah Gifty Akita

Carl's POV

I slowly opened my eyes and realized it was already morning. I groaned, not wanting to get up and start another shitty day, nevertheless I sat up and stretched out my arms and as I did my back cracked. I looked down to my left and noticed Cecilia wasn't there anymore. I sighed and finally stood up.

I looked down at my father, who was lying on his back with his hands resting on his stomach, sleeping. The blanket Cici left for him only covered him from the waist down.

I turned around, grabbed the bag of Cereal from the floor and headed to the kitchen, I didn't want to admit it but I was starving, we hadn't eaten since the prison was bombed.

Cecilia was in there, sitting on a stool, with her elbows resting on the small round dining table that was inside the kitchen, and she had her hands holding her head as her long blonde hair hid her face. She raised her head a bit, looking out of the window but I still could see a glimpse of her eyes, that had nothing more than fear.

Slowly, I walked in, making sure to make a little bit of noise so I wouldn't startled her. She heard me and turned to look at me. She offered me a smile but I could tell it didn't reach her eyes, it was fake.

Honestly, Cecilia didn't look good at all, she had a long bruise along her jaw and part of her neck, and had little ones all around her face and her lip was swollen and broken. But that wasn't the worst, I already saw how bad she was from the attack at the prison, she even cleaned her face yesterday so she looked better in that sense but this morning she looked really pale, she looked sick. She looked frail and weak, and as I looked at her hands, I noticed they were slightly shaking.

I didn't know if I should bring it up or not, it was obvious she wanted to hide how bad she was from me. I wasn't sure if she was like this because she was in fact getting sick or because we hadn't eaten in almost three days.

Despite my worries, I smiled at her and headed to the counters, looking for some bowls. I unconsciously grabbed three and three spoons. I set them on the table and sat down on the other stool. I grabbed one bowl and served myself some cereal, I grabbed a second one and served some for Cecilia, I hesitated with the third but finally I served some cereal on it as well, when I was done I pushed a bowl towards Cecilia but she just shook her head at me.

"What?" I asked confused.

"I'm not hungry," she muttered.

"That's not possible," I told her, pushing the bowl even closer to her. "We haven't eaten in days, have some."

"I'll eat later," she told me with a heavy sigh. "Save it for me."

"Cici," I said in a fatherly way. "You..."

"I'm not feeling well," she finally admitted. "I'll see if the shower works, maybe that will help me."

"Alright," I said in defeat.

Cecilia pushed the stool back and stood up, I noticed she had a hand over her stomach, meaning she was still in pain, yesterday I saw the bruise on her stomach and it was really bad. Seconds later I heard her going up the stairs in a fast pace. I sighed and decided to take my bowl upstairs, I went to the green-painted room and sat on the bed. I slowly ate my cereal with a spoon out of habit, not that I needed to eat it with the spoon.

I knew I couldn't eat much, we were low on food so I tried to eat the cereal as slow as possible, chewing everything several times before swallowing it. As I ate I heard the shower, meaning it did in fact work.

When I finished my food, I randomly picked a book and started to read it, I had nothing else to do and it seemed like Cecilia was going to take a while, I could still hear the water running in the bathroom.

I sighed out of boredom, I felt useless here. I laid the book opened upside down on the bed, so I would read where I left off later. I stood up, grabbed the empty bowl and took it downstairs, I was going to the kitchen when I noticed that my father was still sleeping even when some hours had passed since sunrise.

"Dad?" I exclaimed as I started to walk towards him. "Dad?" I started to kick his left foot that was on the floor and nothing, so I knelt on one knee in front of him. I set the bowl on the floor and started to shake him. "Dad, wake up, come on!"

My father still wouldn't open his eyes or even groan as I shook him but I knew he was alive because I saw how his chest rose every time he inhaled. I got desperate and shook him even harder.  
"Dad, wake up! Wake up!" I shouted at him as I kept shaking his body. "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"

I stopped shouting and shaking him when I heard the door being banged and moans outside, at that moment I felt like an idiot for making so much noise and attracting walkers towards us. I wouldn't admit it but now I was glad that my father had pushed that sofa against the door, they would have probably gotten inside if he hadn't done it.

I slowly stood up, making sure they wouldn't open the door and quietly went to the back door, going out, there was no time to tell Cecilia and even if I did tell her, she was showering, it would take her some time to get decent and help me, besides, I could do it myself.

I made my way to the front of the house with a gun in my hands, I noticed there were only two walkers banging on the door. I could kill them without any help but I needed to do it away from here so the noise wouldn't attract more. I made sure there were no more around before I started my mission.

"Hey, you!" I said loudly, the two ugly walkers slowly stopped banging on the door and turned to look at me. "Fresh meat right here. Come and get it."

The two of them started coming my way, I took some steps backwards so I wouldn't get them out of my sight until I got to the street, once there I turned around and kept glancing at them, to make sure they weren't too close to me.  
"Let's take a walk, keep up. That's it," I said as I once again turned around and walked backwards. "Keep coming, very good. Come on. Right here, look at me. There you go."  
I made them follow me two blocks away, when I decided it was far enough, I turned left into an empty lot with only vegetation, where I would kill them. Hopefully this was enough.  
"Come on," I said, trying to get them further into this lot. I kept walking backwards when I heard one more source of moans, I turned around quickly and saw a third walker. "Oh, shit!"  
This third walker lunged at me, I pressed my hands against its chest, trying to keep him away from me, far enough that he wouldn't bit me, with all my effort I pushed the walker but in the process I fell down on my butt. I dragged myself away from them but I wasn't quick enough to get away, they all kept coming at me, I wasn't in position to shoot, I knew I would miss so I kicked the walker, making it fall, that gave me time to deal with the other two.

One of them kept coming at me, I was on my back now and I was in a better position. I raised my gun and hit the first walker right in its forehead. Unfortunately, the dead walker fell on top of me, making it impossible for me to push it off of me and crawl away in time, so I focused on the next walker that was almost on top of me by now. I waited for it to kneel next to me and right when he was about to grab me, I shot it too, this one fell on top of me too, making it hard to breathe.

I tried to push it off of me but it wouldn't even budge. Lastly, the third walker, the one I kicked, finally stood up and was approaching me. I raised my gun and shot it but I missed, hitting its shoulder twice, I pulled the trigger a third time and this time I hit my target, its head and to my bad luck this one fell on top of the other two, maybe it was a bad idea to not tell Cecilia.

I let my head fall back and took deep breaths, even when it was hard to do when three bodies were on top of me. When I caught my breath, I looked up and noticed worms were getting out of the third walker's head, it was disgusting. I couldn't push them off of me, I knew that, so instead I pulled myself forward, getting out. When I was finally free, I stood up slowly as I kept gasping for air.

Then as I rested my hands on my knee, I felt sick to my stomach and seconds later my breakfast came up. I took a few more breaths to calm down before I cleaned my mouth and grabbed my hat, that had fallen off earlier during the struggle and then got my gun.

"I win," I told them, emotionless.  
I made my way back to the street, which seemed deserted and I really hoped it really was, I didn't want to kill more walkers now. I went back to the house, walking in from the back door, making sure to lock it before going to where we had slept the night before, the first thing I noticed was that my father was still sleeping and that Cecilia wasn't here yet.  
"I killed three walkers," I told my father as I took off my shirt, so I was just wearing a normal long sleeve T-shirt. "They were at the door. They were gonna get in, but I lured them away. I killed them."

I put my shirt on the sofa and rested my head next to it, looking down at my father, making sure he was breathing and he was, his chest went up and down.  
"I saved you!" I exclaimed, rubbing it in his face in some way. "I saved you. I didn't forget while you had us playing farmer. I still know how to survive. Lucky for us," I whispered the last part.

I looked at my father with a disappointed look on my face, this was all his fault. I tried to listen to what Cecilia told me yesterday, to forgive him but I couldn't, he didn't do this just to me, that would be a different story, but he did it to everyone.  
"I don't need you anymore," I exclaimed coldly and took three steps towards him. "I don't need you to protect me anymore. I can take care of myself. You probably can't even protect me, anyway. It was Cecilia the one that killed the walkers these last two days! You couldn't protect Judith!" I exclaimed, raising my voice with every sentence I was saying.

Truth was that The Governor and his people may have pulled the trigger but the guilty here was none other than my father. He pretended he wasn't there while Michonne, Cecilia and Daryl went out to look for him for weeks, Michonne even for months, while he just wanted to relax and become a farmer.

"You couldn't protect... Hershel or Glenn or Maggie. Michonne, Daryl, or Mum." With every name, I felt like a knife was stabbing me fast and hard, especially when I mentioned Judith and Hershel, because I was completely sure they were dead, I witnessed Hershel's death and it was horrible. "You just wanted to plant vegetables. You just wanted to hide," I exclaimed, finally starting to get everything out of my chest. "He knew where we were and you didn't care!" I shouted. "You just hid behind those fences and waited for..."

I stopped mid-sentence because my voice broke as flashes of what happened to our loved ones and our home crossed my mind. When I remembered how the Governor killed Hershel and when we found Judith's bloody carrier. I took a deep breath so I could keep getting all my frustration out.

"They're all gone now!" I shouted even louder, forgetting that I could be heard by walkers outside and not caring if Cecilia heard me. "Because of you! They counted on you! You were their leader!"

I took deep breaths to calm myself down a bit, but now that I had gotten that out I felt a bit better, just a tiny bit but it didn't make me hate my father any less. I slowly sat down and leant my back against the sofa, next to his left foot that was hanging from the sofa. I brought my knees up and rested my elbows on it.

"But now," I exclaimed angrily, looking in front of me. "You're nothing."

I buried my face in between my arms and let some tears fall from my eyes but not long after that, I sniffled, dried my tears and got to my knees, grabbing the bag with our few supplies and emptied it, throwing everything on the ground and then stood up.

"I'd be fine if you died," I muttered, not even looking down at him.

I turned around and left quickly, going upstairs to look for Cecilia, whom I expected to be here scolding me because of all the rude things I yelled at my father, but surprisingly she hadn't even said anything.

I ran upstairs and went to the master bathroom, I pressed my ear against the door and didn't hear any sound from there. Slowly, I put my hand on the knob and tried to turn it but it was locked, I was fearing Cecilia had left to look for Daryl but she was still in there.

"Cici?" I muttered as I knocked twice on the door, I was really surprised she was still in there, I was even scared something had happened to her, maybe she slipped and hit her head.

"Yeah?" I heard her now hoarse voice from inside, right when I was about to start kicking the door to see if she was still alive in there.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good," she muttered, her voice was low and hoarse I barely heard her.

"There were walkers outside, I killed them." I expected her to tell me something about being reckless but all I got was silent, which was unusual. "Are you sure you are okay? I could help if something's up."

"I'm good... I'm just..." I heard her cleared her throat before she spoke again. "... sad, I guess. I miss them."

"I miss them too," I told her as a lump formed in my throat. "Hey, I'm going out to bring more supplies, want to come?"

I rested my forehead against the white wooden door as I waited for her answer, which took a while. For a moment I thought she wasn't going to say anything.

"Not now, can you wait a bit?"

"Uh," I hesitated, I wasn't sure if I should tell her that I wasn't going to wait, we needed to take advantage of the light, or lie to her. I had never lied to her. "I, uh... sure. What are you even doing in there?"

"I'm taking a bath," she told me.

"You serious?" Ever since this happened we had learnt to be conscious of the water, trying not to waste it and we didn't even shower everyday because of it, so now I was really surprised Cecilia was taking a bath instead of a quick shower.

"I won't take much longer," she told me. "I just needed... I don't know, just some time alone."

"Okay," I mumbled. "If you need me, just call."

Without another word from either of us, I walked away and as I reached the door of the master bedroom I heard her sobbing, I stopped in my tracks, biting my lip, resisting the urge to go knock on the door and tell her something to cheer her up, but she said she needed time alone and maybe it would be better if I just left her be and then after she gets out of the bathroom, try to cheer her up.

As I planned I walked out of the house, closing the door as quiet as I could manage so Cecilia wouldn't hear and realize I lied to her. I wanted to get supplies and show my father I could manage on my own and besides, I wanted to get out of there, I couldn't stand being in the same place as my father right now.

As I walked on my own down the street I started to think about our loved ones, about Cecilia. At first I admit I got a bit upset at her when those walkers were out of the house and she didn't help me but she probably didn't even hear them. I knew, though, that if I had asked for her help, she would have left wearing just a towel if she had to.

Now all my brief anger towards her vanished like if it was never there, I got out my frustration and anger earlier and I still didn't feel one hundred percent better. She was different than me, though. She always preferred to keep things inside her chest, she always grieves and hurts in private, showing a strong face in public, making everything even worse for her.

She was hurting as much as me, probably even more. She had had a few rough weeks and she hadn't completely recovered from that. She was abducted, she almost died. She lost her mother, she lost her friend Amanda, now she lost Daryl, the person she loves the most and everyone else. I lost my sister, like she did about two years ago, she knows how I feel.

I stopped my train of thoughts when I came across a good-looking house, it almost seemed untouched, so I decided to go inside that one. I grabbed a lamppost before walking to the door. Once there, I ran to it to open it but instead of that, I fell down to the floor, defeated. The door didn't even bulge.

"Damn it."

I grabbed my hat, put it back on and picked up the lamppost against, using it to open the lock of the door, to my surprise, it was easier than I thought. I walked inside with extreme caution, even when it seemed like this house was free of walkers.

I went straight to the kitchen in hopes that I would find something more to eat. Luckily I found some cans and a bag of cereal, and then my eyes landed on something close to a dream. I grabbed a stool to step on it so I could reach this huge can. I grabbed and saw it was in fact chocolate fudge, I smiled, knowing I had hit a jackpot. I left it there and checked the other counters and drawers, finding some more food.

I put it all inside the bag I brought and then made my way upstairs, with the lamppost in my hands. I checked the first two rooms before closing the doors, then I walked to the third room, the door was already closed. As soon as I turned the knob and opened it slightly, I felt it being pushed from the inside with a lot of force and moans filled my ears. I struggled to shut it again but the walker had its arms out, not letting me close it. I pushed with all my force and still didn't accomplish anything so I decided to just kill the walker.

I let it open as I grabbed my gun, I was about to shoot when I fell backwards as I shot twice. I sat up and aimed at it, I shot him somewhere but I didn't kill him. It kept coming at me. I tried to shoot him but I had run out of ammunition. It grabbed my ankle but I kicked him with my other foot, it took a few kicks before it let go of me.

I stood up quickly and headed inside the room, the walker was faster than me so again I couldn't close the door. I ran to the window, trying to open it but it was stuck. I kept trying but I didn't have much time, the walker was inside the room, coming after me. When it was only a few steps away from me, I grabbed a lamp and hit it in the face with it, somehow we both ended on the floor, struggling.

I crawled away from the walker but I wasn't fast enough, the walker grabbed my ankle and it had a strong grip on me. I kept trying to get free until the walker grabbed my shoe instead of my leg and with all the force it was using to get me, he got my shoe off and I managed to escape. I stood up quickly and went to close the door but the books lying on the floor didn't let me do it. I kicked the books inside and finally achieved to close it and just on time, because the walker had stood up and was coming to me again.

I took deep breaths now that I was safe. Then I grabbed a chalk that was on the floor and wrote a warming on the door, so if someone came here, they would know there was a walker inside this room.

'WALKER INSIDE. GOT MY SHOE. DIDN'T GET ME.'

I wasn't in the mood to go back to the house we had found yet, so I went downstairs, grabbed the huge can of chocolate fudge and went upstairs again. I got out from a window of another room and sat on the edge of the roof, with my legs hanging from it. I opened the can and started to eat with a spoon, it was like heaven.

I was very lucky no walkers interrupted this nice moment, besides the walker that tried to kill me earlier but I just ignored it. I tasted every little bit of it and I was amazed when I had eaten more than half of it and I still wasn't close to being full, I really intended to save a bit for Cecilia but I couldn't stop myself, I just ate the whole can in a matter of an hour or an hour and a half, it was just so delicious.

When I finished, I let the can fall down to the ground before I crawled back inside the house. I rushed downstairs and grabbed the bag with the food I found here. I wanted to check at least another house but my stomach was too full I doubted I could run or do anything too fast, so I decided it was better to just go back and maybe tomorrow I could go looking for more.

When I got back I went upstairs after I checked on my dad, who hadn't moved an inch the whole day. I went to the master bedroom and found Cecilia lying on her side on the bed. She was curled into a ball and she looked miserable. She was wearing another T-shirt and some jeans that were a bit too short, by the looks of it, they belonged to the boy that lived here. As I walked further into the bedroom I saw a towel and her dirty red shirt lying on the floor but her jeans were nowhere in sight.

I sat on the other side of the bed and lied on my side as well, facing her. I scooted closer to her and wrapped an arm around her midsection. When I did, she just took a deep breath, like to suppress a sob.

"You went out," she accused, her voice was even hoarser than earlier today. "Why did you do that?"

"I needed to get out," I admitted. I was surprised she was so calm and wasn't shouting at me.

"I went out looking for you, I couldn't find you," she informed me. "I was so worried about you!"

She finally looked up at me, her eyes were puffy and red from all the crying, so she did in fact cry. She sniffled and moved some of her still wet hair away from her face.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, not knowing what else to say. "I bought you this, though. You have to forgive me for this."

I grabbed a package of Pop Tarts that I had left on the edge of the bed and handed it to her, I couldn't give her chocolate fudge so this would have to do. She took it and smiled at me.

"I'm forgiving you just because of this," she muttered. She opened the bag and took a piece from it, slowly eating it, still not moving from her position. I frowned, though, when she didn't eat any more. "Your dad hasn't woken up all day?"

"No."

She looked worriedly at me, she furrowed her eyebrows and then she looked down. I didn't want to admit it but I was worried too.

"He'll wake up," I told her. "He has too."

"Let's hope so," she whispered.

"Anyway, how are you? Do you feel any better?"

" A bit," she said, forcing a smile on her lips. "I'm sorry for being so absent today."

"You needed it, I understand."

I stayed with Cecilia for almost two hours, until it got dark. She fell asleep with tears in her eyes but I couldn't fall asleep, not matter how much I tried. I sat up, glanced at Cecilia one time before I stood up. I grabbed the edge of the bed cover on my side and slowly pulled it towards her, covering her because I could tell she was cold. Once I was done, I went downstairs, I just couldn't leave my father alone down there, what if more walkers tried to get in? I should be there.

Tonight, I sat on the floor, my back against the sofa, I didn't even realize when I fell asleep, I only knew I had in fact slept a bit when I opened my eyes some hours later.

I turned to look at my father and noticed he was still in the same position he had been the whole day and night. He hadn't moved at all and that worried me a lot. Seconds later I saw his left arm, that was hanging from the sofa, twitching. My eyes went wide and all the sleepiness washed out of me. I even heard him snarling.

I gasped and quickly crawled backwards away from him. He raised his head to look at me as I desperately tried to grab my gun. I wanted to shout to Cecilia to come help me but I couldn't say anything, I was too bewildered that all I could do was grab my gun.

My father raised his arm, trying to get me and in the process he fell from the sofa with a loud thud. Sobs got out as I pointed the gun at my father, who kept trying to get me. My hands shook as I kept sobbing, trying to shoot him but I couldn't pull the trigger, that's why I was trying to call Cecilia but I couldn't find my voice either.

Then he finally got me. His hand fell on top of my shoe and that's when I dropped my arms and just gave up, knowing I couldn't shoot my dad, walker or not. I closed my eyes tightly and let my head drop to the side.

"I can't," I muttered as tears fell down my face. "I was wrong, just do it."

"Carl." I opened my eyes and looked down at my father, he said my name, right? Did he? If he did, that meant he was still alive. I was thinking I hallucinated it when he spoke again and got on all four. "Don't go outside. Stay safe."

Then his legs and arms finally gave in and he fell down again next to me. It took me a few seconds to recover from the horrible experience I just had but when I did I crawled closer to him, put my hand under his head and laid it on my thighs, using them as a pillow for him.

"I'm scared," I muttered as I looked down at his face, being so relieved he was still alive. I cried harder, I wasn't sure why, if it was because of everything that had happened lately or out of relief, I still had my dad. I slowly rested my forehead against his, feeling some kind of safety and reassurance "I'm scared. I'm scared."

I wasn't sure how much time I spent like that, embracing my father, I just felt like I needed to, so I didn't move until Cecilia came and moved me to the cushions I had slept on last night, I was half asleep so I barely remember, then she tried to get my father on the sofa but she couldn't, so she dragged him towards a carpet that was nearby, then she went to grab the pillow and put it under his head. Then she sat on the couch and that's the last thing I remember before I fell asleep again.

The next morning when I woke up I noticed Cecilia and my father weren't in the room, I stood up quickly and went looking for them, I found them in the kitchen, whispering to each other. My father looked concerned while Cecilia's back was facing me, so I couldn't see her face but I noticed she had her elbows on the table like the day before and she was looking down at the table, her slim but toned shoulders were drooped.

My father stopped talking when he saw me by the door, he smiled at me but he still looked concerned, which only made me really nervous.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he told me. "Cecilia was just talking to me, go back to the other room, we'll be back there."

I found it extremely weird but I listened to my father and went back to the other room. I sat down on the floor with my back against the sofa like I had done a few times already. I could still hear their voices but they were too low I couldn't make out what they were talking about.

A few minutes later the two of them joined me like my father assured me they would. Cecilia sat on the cushions I had used to sleep and my father sat next to me, in the same position I was in.

"You shouldn't have risked it, going out there like that," he told me, his voice was still hoarse but he had gotten better. Cecilia probably told him everything that happened yesterday while he was out, maybe that's why he looked concerned. "It's dangerous."

"I was careful," I assured him and turned to look at him. He nodded at me.  
"It's good that you found more food," he told me, making me feel happy and like if I did in fact accomplish something good.  
"I found even more but," I admitted, remembering the big can I ate by myself. "I ate it."  
"What was it?" he asked as he turned to look at me. Not only his voice had gotten better but all of him. He could open both eyes now and now that his face wasn't all bloody he looked more like my dad.

"A one hundred twelve ounces of pudding," I said with a small chuckle.

"What?" Cecilia exclaimed. "And you didn't save me any?"

"I wanted to but it was so good," I told her with another chuckle. My father chuckled as well, being a bit surprised of the amount of food I ate.

"Well, we'll have to find more," Cecilia told me.

"Definitely," I said smiling.

Then the cheery mood turned a bit sad and tense. I looked down at the ground, waiting for my father to speak. Honestly, after what happened yesterday I realized how much I actually needed him, even if Cecilia was here or not. I needed him, he was my dad and no one can replace him. I also realized how much I love him and that without him, living wouldn't be worth it.

"I know we'll never get things back to the way they used to be," he told us both, looking first at Cecilia and then at me.  
"What?" I asked him.

"I only clung to that for you Carl, even for you Cecilia " he told us. "For Judith. Now she's... gone."  
I wasn't going to lie that it didn't hurt me when he said her name, when he said she was dead but I just looked down again and said nothing, a lump was forming in my throat and I didn't want my voice to break right now.

"And you," he said looking at me again, slowly I looked up at him once again. "You're a man, Carl. You're a man. I'm sorry."  
"You don't need to be," I told him. Now I knew I was wrong. I smiled at him for the first time in days and he smiled back at me.

"Come here," he said after a very long but comfortable pause. I wrapped my arms around his neck, making sure not to hurt him, as he embraced me with his right arm. "You too, Cecilia."

Cecilia smiled at him and quickly stood up and walked toward us. She knelt in front of my father and hugged him with one arm and hugged me with her other arm, the two of us did the same, hugging each other.

As we hugged I couldn't be more glad to have my father and the girl I considered my big sister with me. I could have ended up with anyone else or even alone but now I considered myself very lucky to be with the two of them.

"We'll make it work," my father assured us just before we all pulled away, sitting down again, my father in between the two of us, with an arm around our shoulders.

A few minutes later I stood up and grabbed some cereal again. I served the three of us some and took my dad and Cecilia two bowls and then went for mine and sat down again next to my father. We were eating peacefully when we heard a loud knock on the door.

Cecilia quickly put her bowl down on the floor and ran to the other side of the room and picked up her crossbow, while we grabbed our guns and stood up as well. I hadn't heard a single moan from the other side and there was only a single knock on the door, so the chances were that it was a person, a living person on the side of the door.

My father got on the sofa and saw through the peephole while Cecilia had her crossbow aimed at the door and I was doing the same with my gun. My father slowly turned to look at us then, and let himself plummet on the sofa with a soft chuckle, making me wonder what was so funny.

"What?" Cecilia and I asked at the same time, my father just looked at us with a big smile.

"It's for you," he told us.

Cecilia quickly stood by the window and moved the curtain a bit. She tried to see for a bit until she finally managed to do it. She gasped and brought her hands to her mouth.

"Oh my God!" she muttered.

When I made my way to the window, Cecilia ran out of the room, probably to go to the back door. Still wondering what was going on, I looked out the window and as Cecilia it took me a while to get to see what I was supposed to see but when I did I felt my heart skipping a bit.

"Michonne!" I exclaimed loudly with a smile, she heard me, she turned to look at me with a huge smile on her lips. "Go to the back door!"

Right when she was going down the stairs of the porch, Cecilia got to where she was. They embraced before Cecilia led her to the back of the house. I couldn't wait any longer so I ran to the back as well and as she took a step inside the house, I wrapped my arms around Michonne."

"Woah," she exclaimed as she hugged me back. "Hey there!"

Cecilia and I took Michonne to where my dad was, he was on his feet now. They didn't embrace or anything but they smiled so big at each other it was obvious they cared about the other.

"Good to see you," my dad said, still with a smile.

Michonne said nothing, she just nodded as happy tears were about to spill from her eyes. Honestly, I never thought I would see Michonne again, I thought she was killed but I couldn't be happier that I was wrong.

Finally something good happened.

So I did something different this chapter, it's on Carl's POV, what do you think of that?  
So my gift to you is this second update and since since it was a different POV it's extra special :D Anyway, Merry Christmas to everyone, I hope you have a wonderful day.

QOTD: There are different Christmas traditions around the world, so how do you celebrate it? I heard somewhere you have to say a poem before opening gifts in Germany, is that true?

By the way I just finished my new TWD video, it's Negan's. Here's the link if you want to watch it:

watch?v=QytJ4AEzaxk&feature=


	22. Chapter 22 - Pessimistic

"No. Don't give up hope just yet. It's the last thing to go.

When you have lost hope, you have lost everything.

And when you think all is lost, when all is dire and bleak, there is always hope."

Pittacus Lore, I Am Number Four

After I put the grenade inside the tank and made sure no one was shooting at me I ran to the courtyard, where I last saw Cecilia and Rick. I checked inside the overturned bus but found nothing, I even looked down at the bodies around and praying that I wouldn't find a blonde girl among them.

"Cecilia! Cecilia!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I frantically searched for her.

I ran and searched everywhere until I saw a blonde girl running towards me, except that it wasn't the blonde I was looking for.

"Cecilia, have you seen Cecilia?" I asked Beth, who shook her head at me. I started to run but she grabbed my wrist, stopping me.

"No, we have to go, Daryl," she told me with sorrow. "I just came from there, I was looking for Judith. There's no one else in there."

"I have to find her, Beth!"

"I'm telling you, everyone left already and we have to go now!"

"No!"

Beth started to pull me with all her strength but she didn't get to move me even an inch from my spot. I looked in disbelief at the prison that was in flames and all the walkers close to us, some were feeding already. I couldn't just run and abandon Cecilia.

"Come on!" Beth yelled at me. "I promise Cecilia isn't there, no one is! Come on, please Daryl!"

Reluctantly, I allowed Beth to pull me away from the prison, I ran behind her as I looked back at the building and all around us, hoping to see the person I care the most about but we reached the woods and still didn't see anyone we know.

"Daryl! Daryl!" Beth shook me, interrupting my thoughts, my memories of what happened hours ago.

"What?" I snapped.

We were sitting by a small fire we made because the weather was really cold. I kept reliving those last moments at the prison, thinking that I shouldn't have left, I should have looked for Cecilia a bit longer, maybe I could have found her, why did I let Beth pull me away? I should have not allowed that.

"We should do something," she told me, I didn't look up at her, I just kept staring at the fire in front of me.

I had my knees bent and my elbows resting on them, I hadn't moved at all in maybe two hours, being a tracker teaches you to stay in a position for longer than anyone else, teaches you to be more patient too.  
"You want to find Cici and I want to find Maggie, we aren't the only survivors. We can't be," she told me, actually believing what she was saying, she was sure more people escaped. "They are alive, they could be, you know? Rick, Michonne, they could be out here as well. Maggie and Glenn could have made it out of A block. They could've."

I wanted to yell at the naïve girl, make her stop because she had been like this for hours, being positive and having hope. I had hope until the sun came down, for some weird reason I didn't feel the need to look for Cecilia anymore because deep in my heart I knew she was gone and if she was gone, what else do I have left? Nothing. No one.

"You're a tracker," Beth exclaimed, she kept talking but I heard her voice distantly. I really wanted to just shut her up but my body felt so heavy I couldn't even bring myself to tell her to keep her mouth shut. "You can track. Come on! The sun will be up soon, if we head out now, we can... Fine. If you won't track, I will."

If this would be another kind of situation and if I wouldn't be so damn depressed I would have laughed so hard at her. She wouldn't be able to track even if the tracks were right in front of her with a sign in front of them, it just wasn't part of her.

Getting sick of me and my attitude, Beth stood up, grabbed a knife and walked away from my sight, going into the woods. Knowing I couldn't let her go on her own, even when I wanted to, I slowly stood up, stepped over the fire to kill it, grabbed my crossbow and went after her.

I was so numb I just followed while she tried her hardest to find anything that could prove someone else was alive, if she found them, good, if she didn't... well that's life now.

Hours and hours passed, it was daytime already. Beth just kept walking several steps ahead of me while I just followed her, I kept looking at the ground, a part of me wanted to find something but I didn't allow myself to get my hopes up because I would end up disappointed and even more heartbroken.

Beth kept telling me to be positive while I kept ignoring her, I hadn't said more than a few words since we ran away from the chaos the Governor made. What would I say? I couldn't be bothered with Beth and her positive attitude, why couldn't she just accept the truth?

As we kept walking deeper into the woods, I did find some footprints on the wet ground, I knelt in front of them, moved the leaves to the side and revealed some small footprints. Beth approached me quickly.

"Could be Luke's or Molly's," she muttered happily. "Whoever they are, it means they're alive."  
"No," I said without any kind of emotion, my voice was husky and hoarse from lack of use. "This means they were alive four or five hours ago."  
"They're alive," Beth stated, obviously getting sick of my shit. Well, I was sick of hers so we were even. "Why are you so negative? Yeah, Cecilia is missing but my sister is too and I witnessed how my father was killed and I still have hope!"

"Good for you," I snapped, standing up.

"I just don't get it. When Cecilia was taken you were sure she was alive, you didn't give up and when she went missing before I even met her, you gave everything to find her, why not now? What's so different about this time?" Beth shouted at me. "You love her, don't you? Then why don't yo...?"

"Don't ever even dare say I don't love her!" I shouted back. "Just don't! Don't even imply I don't love her enough. If I have ever loved someone it was her, so don't ever even insinuate I don't."

Beth didn't say anything else, she actually looked a bit scared from my outburst, she turned around and walked away from me once again and I had no option but to follow her, as she kept looking at more footprints. Not far from there I found something else, grapes on the floor, someone had stepped on them.

"They picked up the pace right here," I informed Beth, my tone had gone back to normal. "Got out in a hurry. Things went bad."  
"Wouldn't kill you to have a little faith."  
"Yeah, faith," I scoffed "Faith ain't done shit for us. Sure as hell didn't do nothing for your father."

I knew I shouldn't have said that but I couldn't take it back now and I wasn't going to apologize, I was upset and I had the right to be as upset as I wanted and Beth had to stand me.

My back was facing her, so I turned around and found her glaring at me. I knew she was trying hard not to say anything at me or even hit me, I could see in her eyes how bad she wanted to say something to me for the awful thing I just said. Instead, she turned around and plucked some grapes from the tree in front of her.

"They'll be hungry when we find them," Beth muttered to me.

Feeling bad about what I said, I slowly approached her as I took out a bandana from my pocket. I lightly tap her arm, offering the bandana to her. She ignored me the first time so I did it again. She turned to look at my hand this time and slowly took it from me, putting the grapes on it.

I started to walk away slowly to give Beth a chance to catch up with me. When I made sure she had finished getting more grapes, I accelerated my pace, this time it was me on the lead. Fortunately, Beth said no other word for maybe five minutes.

Then we came across two dead walkers, I approached a plant next to them because I saw blood, bright, red blood.

"That ain't walker blood," I told Beth.  
"The trail keeps going," Beth said, refusing to let her hopes fall. "They fought them off."  
"No," I said as I looked at the ground. "Got walker tracks all up and down here, at least a dozen of them."

I kept looking down at the tracks when I heard snarling and Beth slightly screamed in surprise. A walker was trying to get at her. I tried to shoot him but Beth was moving so much I could shoot her instead. I threw my crossbow at the ground and rushed to them, grabbing the walker by its shirt and pushing it to the ground, Beth quickly grabbed her knife that had fallen to the ground and stabbed it, I quickly pushed it away from me and stood up as I panted.

"Come on," I mumbled after I picked up my crossbow.

Being so upset at what happened, for almost losing the only person I had left. I stormed away from that place and only about a minute later I came across some railways, the snarling of walkers could be heard. And in fact there were three walkers some feet away from us, they hadn't seen us because they were feeding.

I felt such a huge rage when I saw them eating people I considered my friends, people I lived with for weeks, some even for months. I grabbed my crossbow and in less than a blink of an eye, I shot the first walker right in the middle of its head. I reloaded my crossbow quickly and shot the two other walkers, then before I let Beth said something, I ran to the scene and grabbed the three arrows.

I tried my hardest to not look at the remains but I couldn't help but see out of the corner of my eye, I knew them, I knew the people they were eating but I was so relieved the victims were all male, Cecilia wasn't here.

"See?" I yelled at Beth, who was stunned, looking at the scene. "This is why I don't have hope this time. They're all dead or they will be soon."

I started walking away from there but I was stopped dead in my tracks when I heard her crying. I turned to look at her but didn't do or say anything. I couldn't comfort her, it wasn't in me, the only person I could comfort was Cecilia and she was the only one that could comfort me.

Not knowing what else to do, I just turned around and started to walk away, we needed to keep going. We couldn't just break down because we found some of our own in the middle of the woods, we needed to move on and find shelter, some food and water and even other clothes, the temperatures were dropping and the days and nights were getting colder and colder.

For the rest of the day none of said a single word to the other, Beth kept breaking down from time to time, I could hear her as she walked behind me. Not once I turned to look at her, it wouldn't do any good, me looking at her wouldn't make her feel better.

Later, I stayed up all night long. I couldn't fall asleep even if I hadn't slept since we escaped the prison, every time I closed my eyes I saw Cecilia, sometimes good things sometimes bad things and I really didn't want to see her, so I refused to sleep, to even close my eyes for a long time. I had to stay up as long as I could.

I put my hand inside my pocket and felt the texture of the object that had felt so heavy even when it couldn't weigh more than a few grams. I had tried hard to ignore it but now that Beth was sleeping and I had nothing to distract me with, I grabbed it and took it out.

There in my hand, I had three pictures of Cecilia and I. I held them in my hands for a very long time before I finally dared to look at them. The light from the fire allowed me to see them a bit.

The first was of us, taken about a week after I proposed to her, she was hugging me from behind, her arms wrapped around my neck, the ring on her finger could be seen but now with this light I really couldn't see it but I knew it was there. Her smile was the one thing I found myself staring at for a very long time, her dimple slightly showing in the picture, but again, with this light, I could barely see the picture, much less little details like those.

The second was a selfie Cecilia wanted so bad to take. She begged me for hours to do a funny face but I still refused. I was serious in the picture while she had her tongue out and was winking her left eye. It was not until now that I really regretted not doing a stupid face, it would had been hilarious.

The third and final picture was the picture Rick took when we were sleeping, the very first picture of us together. It was my favourite and the one I always carry with me. I was glad I got the chance to get the other two and be able to see her again, to see her smile and to see her bright eyes full of life.

I felt my eyes getting watery but I wouldn't allow myself to cry, not yet, not now. I took deep breaths and put the pictures back in my pocket, not being able to look at them any longer, seeing her was too painful.

If Cecilia was in fact d... dead, I only hoped she didn't suffer, that she wasn't gutted alive, that if she died, she was shot and instantly killed. It was harsh to think like that but it was like she wanted, she said she would kill herself before allowing a walker to eat her alive.

As I looked at the fire in front of me I remembered when the farm was overrun and I believed she had died. It took me months to get over it, if I ever did. It took me months to stop grieving her, I thought about her every day and night even when we had just known each other for three months or so and during most of that time we weren't that friendly.

She wasn't even my friend back then, not until I found her in those woods and now she had become my fiancée, we had been together for around a year. The pain I felt back there when I thought I had lost her forever was nothing compared to what I'm feeling right now. I couldn't explain with words the magnitude of the pain and the worst of all was the uncertainty, not knowing what happened to her.

I wasn't sure why I was refusing to cry, I had learnt crying was acceptable, maybe I believed that whenever that first tear fell from my eyes I would be accepting she was gone because even when I was depressed and being so negative I still had a tiny hope deep inside of me.

A part of me didn't want to look for her because I was petrified of finding her half-eaten remains or her body as a walker. I could stand her death to some kind of extent but if I ever see her as a walker, I knew I would die that day.

Hearing her snarling instead of her sweet, soft voice and her melting laugh would kill me but the worst of all would be seeing her lovely icy blue eyes being replaced by the greyish colour of the walker's eyes.

After the farm incident, I had Carol everyday to painfully remind me what her eyes looked like, that's why I pushed everyone away and refused to look Carol in the eye. I didn't know back then how much I already loved that girl even when everyone else seemed to notice it.

"I miss you, damn it!" I exclaimed louder than I intended. Actually, I never intended to say that out loud. "Where the hell are you?"

I looked up at the night sky and even through the thick vegetation of the trees I could see a small portion of the night sky. A sad smile reached my lips as I remembered that night after I found her and we stayed up all night staring at the night sky. She was captivated by the amount of stars that could be seen and the beautiful moon.

I was still in a lot of pain because of the arrow that went through my torso and those two falls so she actually helped me walk outside and not even after we both sat on a bench she let go of me and we stayed even closer to keep ourselves warm and because we felt comfortable being like that, thing I never thought could happen.

Since I met her she made me go push all my limits and made me go beyond my comfort zone, she changed me to a better person. She made me stop being and feeling lonely and wanting to be, and showed me that I could be loved and accepted, not just by her but by everyone in the group, that I could actually do something good for someone else and be needed instead of being unwanted.

Hell, I even proposed to her, thing I didn't even dream of doing ever, not even after I started dating her. I always believed the person that would be closest to me would always be Merle and just him but I came to realize I was wrong.

"If you are alive," I muttered in a low tone as I kept looking at some of the stars in the dark sky. "Please give me a sign, tell me in some way that you are still alive."

I shifted a bit so I was lying on my back now instead of on my left side. I wrapped my arms around me in hopes to warm myself a bit more, my arms were completely bare and I didn't have any long-sleeve shirt at the moment.

I blinked and looked back at the sky and a few seconds later I saw a shooting star. My thin lips parted slightly in surprise as I sat up, still looking up. I blinked a few times and before I knew it, that first tear fell from my eye but it was from happiness, from hope. That was the sign I asked for only a minute or two ago.

I wiped my tears and took a deep breath to calm down, not wanting to wake Beth up and be seen like this. But soon the hope and happiness was replaced by skepticism, I was never a believer of anything.

"Give me just one more sign if she's indeed alive," I whispered. If I was given one sign I could be given the confirmation, right? Better to be sure than follow a fake hope only to be crushed.

By midday the next day Beth and I finally made a break and ate the grapes she saved for Molly and Luke, now we knew they were dead or at least one of them was. There was a small shoe that belonged to a kid next to the bodies we found the day before.

Unfortunately, that was all we had had in almost two days and honestly I just felt more hungry after eating those. I proposed to Beth that we should go out of the woods and look inside some houses or even shops for some food, since we hadn't found much food in these woods, not even animals to hunt, I hadn't seen a single squirrel.

Surprisingly, Beth hadn't said much today, the hope that was visible in her blue eyes had died out a bit, thing I didn't like that much because I was the negative one here, the two of us just couldn't give up, there had to be some kind of balance between the two of us.

As we walked through the woods I looked at Beth, I couldn't help but compare her to Cecilia. Both are young, around the same age, they both are blonde and have blue eyes. But Cecilia is taller and stronger, plus she has those adorable freckles on her cheeks and shoulders and around her collarbones.

And in personalities they couldn't be more different. Beth iss compassionate, sometimes way too much while Cecilia is a bit indifferent and even heartless with others. Beth is social and enjoys spending time with other people, Cecilia prefers to have some distance and it is hard to get to her. Beth cares so much about other people, not just her family or people close to her but about strangers too, Cecilia in a way is selfish in that sense, like with the Randall thing, she didn't give a damn about what was going to happen to him but she cares about her loved ones and would give her life for them. In a way that os good, that she doesn't care about other people because sometimes that can get you into trouble but that saddened me because I know she is like that for all the people she let in and eventually disappointed her and broke her heart.

Cecilia rarely gets scared and is a strong-willed person while Beth not so much. Beth can shoot, yes, but Cecilia has been doing it for years, even before this mess even started, she is beyond good and she isn't scared to pull the trigger, Beth has to convince herself before doing it.

Beth needs to be taken care of, she was the youngest kid and I suspect she was pampered and spoiled, she was the baby of the house, Cecilia only had herself to depend on and even until now she mostly only relies on herself. If she were here I wouldn't have to babysit her or keep an eye on her all the time like I feel I should do with Beth. Ever since we ended up together I feel like instead of being a team and take care of each other I have to watch Beth all the time because she's not made for this world, because I feel like if I fall asleep for a second or just don't pay attention to her, something is going to happen to her. With Cecilia, even when I worry about her, I know she can keep herself alive and I trust her to keep us both save.

As we were close to get out of the woods, three walkers came towards us. I raised my crossbow and killed the three of them with an arrow each, without any word towards Beth, I approached them and grabbed my arrows.

I knew Beth wished she could be with anyone else but me, I didn't need to ask her to know that and honestly I wished Cecilia were here with me instead of Beth.

A few minutes later of complete silence, I spotted a few houses, which only made me quickened my pace, feeling my empty stomach burning and growling.

I headed to the closest house and knocked on the door and waited for walkers to come but none did, still being carefully I kicked the door open and walked in with my crossbow in hand.

"Go to the kitchen, check for anything we can eat, I'll go upstairs," I told Beth.

I went up the stairs, two steps at a time. There were four rooms and all the doors were opened and this place seemed empty, there were no signs of walkers or even people.

I went to the master bedroom and went into the walk in closet. I quickly took of my shirt, threw it to the ground. I went through the father's clothes and quickly chose a long-sleeve brown shirt, which was a bit loose but it was good enough for now and I grabbed two more, this weather was going to get colder and colder. After that I put on my leather vest again and ran downstairs.

"What do we got?" I asked Beth as I walked into the kitchen.

"Not much," she said sadly. "Some crackers, a can of peas."

"Just that?" I disappointedly asked.

"Yeah."

I grabbed a packet of crackers and started to eat, Beth did the same, grabbing one packet as well, leaving us with only three more and the can of peas.

"We have to look in the other houses," I told her. "And you have to find some other clothes."

Beth was wearing a sleeveless shirt and she has frozen during the nights, the weather plus no eating made us both so cold.

After we finished eating, I looked through the cabinets and found a big garbage plastic bag, I put the rest of the food in there and walked out the door without saying anything to Beth but she eventually followed me.

We walked to the house next to the one we just left. In this one we found two walkers in the living room, I took care of one while Beth stabbed the second in its head, staining her shirt with blood in the process.

This time she went upstairs to find some clean and warmer clothes while I went to the kitchen, searching inside each counter and cabinet, we didn't have much lunch but there was more food in here than the last house.

I found a huge bag of chips, two cans of soup and one container of water, it was sealed so I opened it and took a big gulp of water. It felt so good to finally drink something that I wanted to drink more but I had to save some for Beth and we needed to ration for the following days, I had no idea how much longer we were going to be like this.

When Beth came down with a clean shirt and a warmer one in her hands, I offered her some water, she thanked me and drank some of it. I told her what I had found, I had already put it inside the bag and I didn't want to show her and lose time.

"I found this," Beth told me, showing me two bars of chocolate.

"We'll eat that tonight," I said after I had walked out of the house. "We need the calories."

The third house we went into was completely empty, no walkers and no food, nothing. Disappointed, we headed to the house in front of that one. As always we knocked on the door and once we made sure no walkers were inside the house we got in. This time both of us went to the kitchen and luckily this one had more stuff.

We found some cans of food, three small bags of chips and a bag of cereal. This could last us even more than a week so I was really happy with all the things we found in these four houses we had searched.

"I'll go upstairs," I told Beth.

"Why? We already have clothes for now."

"I might find something valuable," I said, shrugging. "Put the rest of the things inside the bag," I told her, handing her the black plastic bag. "I'll be right back."

With that I went up the stairs quickly. After checking it was safe I went to the closest room to the stairs. It was a young boy's, apparently. There was a small bed with a cover of dinosaurs, and there were a lot of little cars and stuff animals on a shelf. On the night stand I could see a picture of the family that once lived here. The parents, that couldn't be more than forty, two girls, the brunette one, like the father, was around fourteen, the blonde one was around ten and the father was carrying a small boy, he was probably four or five. They all had big smiles on their faces.

Sadly, I turned around and left the room and walked into one of the girls' room. This one was too pink for my liking and compared to the other room, too messy. There were clothes everywhere and the bed was undone, the other room was neat. I looked inside the drawers and found some cigarettes in the drawer of the girl's underwear, apparently this was the room of the oldest girl. I put the pack inside my pocket and left the room after checking the whole place.

Next to it was the master bedroom, which was neat as well. I looked everywhere for something useful, I had this feeling in my gut that I was going to find something in here. I found nothing in the mother's thing, except a vibrator and diet pills, like if I needed those.

I really hoped I was going to find something in the father's thing. I opened the drawer of his night table and found some sleeping pills, I kept those. I also found anti-depressants pills, apparently this family had some problems.

With a sigh I stood up and went to the walk in closet, which was really neat and arranged. I looked every little corner, leaving the drawer of the mother's underwear for last. I opened it, moved the stuff a bit and was surprised when I felt something hard in there. I grabbed it and realized it was a small gun, I smiled at my luck and there were two boxes of ammunition in the other drawer, where the bra's were. Probably this one was the thing I felt like I was going to find. Beth was out of ammunition by now and I was low on mine, we needed this.

I felt no need to look into the last room that apparently belonged to the blonde girl but a part of me didn't want to leave this house and wonder if I could have found something else, so I went there. The first thing I noticed was a picture of her from the newspaper hanging on the green painted wall, she was smiling and had a golden medal on her neck.

 _'Peters, from the USA Junior Squash Team won first place in the World Junior Championship in Italy.'_

I looked around the room and saw several trophies and medals, most were from second or first place and only a small part were from a third place. This girl seemed like the perfect daughter. She also had prizes from Olympics in school, including Math related prizes.

On the other wall, which was painted white, I saw another picture of her, she was with a boy and apparently he was her teammate. They both were smiling with their racquets in hands and golden medals over their necks, the girl had two of them.

'Peters and Johnson win golden medal for USA in the Juniors Panams Games in doubles.'

There was a small article below the picture and for some reason I spent the time to read it, it was like something was pulling me to do it.

 _'Matthew Johnson (13) and Cecilia Peters (12)...',_ I stood up straight and took a deep breath when I read that name. Cecilia. I closed my eyes tightly for a second before crouching down again to read the rest. _'... and Cecilia Peters beat the pair of Colombia, Ana Rodriguez and Luis Leon in the final, getting the gold. Peters also managed to beat Kayla Darren from Canada 3-2 in a tough game, (11-9, 10-12, 6-11, 11-8, 15-13) in the singles category to win the desired gold medal.'_

The blonde girl of the picture was named Cecilia Peters, I bit my lip at the thought of my Cecilia. I sat on the made bed and wondered what Cecilia's room looked like when she was a little girl, like the one in the picture. She had always been messy or so she has told me, so her room wouldn't look like this. But she told me she had a nice house and good stuff, and her mother always kept the the whole house very neat and clean because Ed liked it that way and because when people visited they wouldn't assume anything bad was happening.

I looked at the night table and saw many gummies for athletes, the ones that give energy plus some chocolates. I found a small bag close to the bed and put all of that in the bag plus the gun and ammunition, I sighed and walked out of the room, closing the door in the process, when I did I saw the name 'Cecilia' on a wooden tag on the door. I looked away quickly and decided it was better to leave, I had taken long enough in that last room.

When I was on the middle of the stairs, something hit me, making me stop dead in my tracks. That was the sign I asked last night for, the confirmation of the sign I got. Hot tears filled my eyes as my knees just gave away and I plummeted to the ground; she was alive.

I took a deep breath as I decided to go up again, taking the wooden tag on the door with me as a reminder to not lose hope, to know that I got the two signs to know that she is alive.

My Cecilia is alive.

Hello guys! Now we know what's happening to Daryl. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and that you had a great Christmas and thanks for keep reading this story.

I always have such a hard time to write on Daryl's POV because he is such a complex character so I always try to capture him as best as I can.

QOTD: Do you have pets? What kind and how many? :P


	23. Chapter 23 - Breaking

"Behind every beautiful thing, there's some kind of pain."

\- Bob Dylan

Carl's POV

"You must be starving," Dad said to Michonne about an hour after she found us. "Have you eaten anything these days?"

Michonne said nothing, she just shook her head, her eyes glittered with tears. She had broken down twice since she came here because she was so overwhelmed she actually could find someone, we decided to not interrogate her any further for now, instead we let her settle down a bit.

Before my father could turn around to see what food we could give to Michonne, I grabbed the bag of cereal and gave the last portion to Michonne, serving it in another bowl and handing it to Michonne, who smiled and thanked me before she started eating.

"Any plans for today?" Cecilia asked as we all sat on the sofa, breaking the silence. Michonne was in between Cecilia and me, my father was next to me, thinking about her question.

"Michonne just got here," he told us all but mostly to Cecilia. "We should take it easy today."

"Okay, in that case I'll go upstairs and rest for a bit," she told us as she stood up.

"Cecilia."

She turned to look at my father, who looked at her with a concerned look. He leant to the side and grabbed her bowl, which still had around half of the cereal I served her earlier. My father looked from the uneaten food to her, silently asking her about it, I knew that look so well.

"I'm fine, Rick," she assured him. "I'm just not that hungry."

"This is the first thing you have eaten, Cecilia! What has it been, three, four days?" he exclaimed. I wanted to tell him this was our fourth day since everything happened but I didn't dare say anything. "You need to eat, you need to regain strength in case we have to flee from here, in case we have to fight."

"I know," she told him calmly. "Wake me up for lunch."

"Cecilia!" Dad yelled as he jumped to his feet.

"I just need a little nap."  
Cecilia turned around and went up the stairs quickly like a teenager that had just been scolded and didn't want to know anything else about the topic. I heard my father sigh next to me, he set the bowl on a coffee table that was on the middle of the room before slumping down on the couch again.

"Dad?"

"Yes, Carl?"

"Is Cici alright?" I asked. My father sighed again but didn't say anything for a while.

"I'm sure she's fine," Michonne told me, wrapping an around my shoulders. "Let's give her some time and then I'll take her some food."

"I think she's getting sick," I told the two adults, who turned to look at me. "Remember her stomach ache, dad? And when you were unconscious she locked herself in the bathroom all day long. I heard her crying and she hasn't eaten, dad!"

"I know," he said nodding as he ran his hand through his beard as he stood once again. "I know, Carl. She told me all about it, she explained to me everything that happened while I was out. I think she's just sad, she must miss Daryl a lot, Carl. I'm sure there's no need to worry."

"But dad being sad doesn't cause stomach aches."

"I think she's just in shock," Michonne told us. "We all are but we take it differently. It explains everything perfectly, being in shock can cause mental symptoms as well as physical ones like lack of hunger, nausea, aches. She'll be fine."

"Really?" I asked her.

"Really."

"I think that makes sense," my father exclaimed, he looked at me and then turned to look at Michonne. "It has happened to her before. She stopped eating, talking, even living when her sister died."

I looked down at my hands sadly, it had been almost two years since Sophia died but the image of her walking out the barn still haunts me. I was so naïve and young back then that people never told me what really happened to Cecilia, they just told me she was sad and that I shouldn't push her to play with me.

"Beth even got a fever, the two were the same, she lost her mother and brother," my father informed Michonne, who had no idea about that day in the barn. "Let's just not let her touch bottom because the one that brought her back from there all that time ago was Daryl and now she's like this because of him and everything else, but mostly him."

"Let's give her some time alone and let her rest, she must not feel well and then we must keep her occupy," Michonne exclaimed. "We must make her do anything, to keep her mind from thinking bad things and remembering stuff."

"Alright," my father said as he nodded. "But no matter what I'll make her eat by lunch, she has to eat."

"I agree." Michonne nodded.

"But dad, she'll be fine, right?"

"We have to assure that, Carl."

When Michonne finished her breakfast and she seemed more calm about the whole thing, my father decided to now focus on her instead of Cecilia. We all moved to the kitchen as Michonne took her empty bowl there.

"Michonne, how did you find us?" my father's distressed face disappeared and now he had a smile on his face.

"I found some shoe prints," Michonne said with a smile. "Different sizes, I didn't know who I was following but I really hoped I was going to find you," she said as she turned to look at me. "I still can't believe I did it."

"How did you even escape?"

Michonne and the two of us sat down and she started telling us everything from the very beginning, since she left the prison with Hershel and how the Governor kidnapped them and took them to his camp, then she told us how she cut the ropes around her hands and how she went unnoticed by using two walkers as her bodyguards after she escaped from the chaos, she told us pretty much everything until she found us and she only broke down one more time.

Cecilia's POV

I had woken up about half an hour ago but didn't want to get out of bed yet, I closed my eyes to try to fall asleep again but this time it didn't work, so I just ended up rolling in bed, trying to suppress painful memories and thoughts.

I opened my eyes and looked behind me when I heard a soft knock on the door even when it was open. I saw Michonne then with a green bowl and a spoon, she also had a glass of water in her hands. She smiled at me as she made her way towards me.

I turned my head again, maybe she would leave me alone but she didn't, instead she sat in the little space left on the bed, sitting in front of me and putting the bowl and the glass on the night table. I kept lying on my side, refusing to move, even to stop facing Michonne.

"Are you okay?" she asked me, I bit my lip because a part of me wanted to tell her I wasn't okay at all and another part of me didn't want to talk about it.

"I'm just tired," I mumbled, looking at the wall in front of me, refusing to look at Michonne. I was ecstatic that she was back but I didn't want to talk about it and I was afraid that if I saw her eyes, I would crack and spill everything.

"Is it true you haven't eaten since...?"

"I just can't eat, Mich," I whispered. "I'm seriously not hungry at all and I got nauseas since last night. I think I may be getting sick."

"That nausea was caused by not eating, once you do, you'll feel better," she assured me with a smile as she put her big hand on my forearm.

"I have a headache," I admitted. "I thought it would improve but it only got worse, every time I move I feel like my head will explode. That's why I came here to rest."

"Well, as I said, not eating and drinking water caused that," Michonne told me. "So eat and drink the water and I'll look for some pills to help you but I won't leave until you eat."

Reluctantly I sat up and looked at the bowl to see what Michonne had brought me. It was soup. I grabbed the bowl and started eating it, when I did, Michonne smiled at me in a satisfied way and she stood, going inside the bathroom to check for any kind of pill to help with my headache.

Luckily Michonne did find something, it caducated about six months ago but it could still work, so once I finished my soup Michonne finally gave me the small pill and once I took it she made me drink the whole glass of water, telling me I got the headache because I was getting dehydrated.

"Carl is really worried about you," she told me.

"I know." I nodded. "I'll be fine, I just... need some time."

"I understand," she softly said to me. "I'll leave you alone, maybe you can rest some more time. If your headache doesn't stop, call me. I'll see what else I can find."

"Thank you."  
Michonne smiled at me before she stood up and took the now empty bowl and empty glass. Honestly, I felt just a tiny bit better now that there was something in my stomach.

"Mich!" I exclaimed, turning around to see her almost out of the room.

"Yeah?"

"You should take a shower," I said with a small teasing grin. "You smell."

"I know," she said chuckling. "I don't think just a shower will be enough. I'll wash my shirt as well, speaking of it, what the hell are you wearing?"

"It was either this," I said, referring to the boy's shirt I got. "Or an old-fashion shirt from the mother that lived here, not my fault that a girl my age didn't live in this house."

The boy that lived here probably was tall for his age and probably had a few extra pounds because his shirt wasn't tight or short, actually it was just right, it was even a bit loose. It may be too childish but I had nothing else to wear at the moment.

"At least it looks comfortable," Michonne muttered before she left for good.

I did as she told me, I tried to sleep even more and now that my stomach was full and I had taken that pill, it didn't take me long to fall asleep once again.

When I woke up again, I noticed it was slightly darker, maybe around 16:00. I sat up with a groan and stretched, my upper back cracked when I did. I rubbed my eyes and decided to go downstairs, I had slept all day long. I stood up and slowly went downstairs, where I found Michonne, Rick and Carl.

"Hey," I muttered, earning their attention.

"Oh, hey sleeping beauty," Rick said as he slightly chuckled. "How do you feel?"

"I feel like... if I had slept for seven days in a row," I told them. "And still tired."

"How's your headache?" Michonne asked me.

"It's gone," I said with a smile right before I took a seat next to Rick, who looked relieved and glad that I finally decided to wake up from my slumber. "And... I'm actually a bit hungry."

"Great," Rick exclaimed as he put a hand on my shoulder. "You can finish your cereal, it's right there."

Rick pointed at the coffee table in front of me where my bowl lied, I stood up and picked it up before sitting next to Rick again. I ate the whole thing in just a matter of a few minutes, Rick even made a joke about it.

Carl, who was busy reading a book, closed it about half an hour after I finished eating and left it on the coffee table, then I saw him hesitate in the spot, it seemed like he wanted to do something but wouldn't dare to do it. I watched him but said nothing to him, and Michonne and Rick were too engage in a conversation to notice him.

"Uh, I have something that belongs to you," Carl said after a long time of hesitating. He approached me and stood right in front of me, making me look up at him. "I have kept them from you because I didn't know if by giving them to you it would make more bad than good but I think you deserve to have them."

Carl searched in his back pocket and before giving whatever he had to me, he looked at it intensively, then he shook his head and handed the object to me. I extended my hand to take it and as soon as I saw what Carl was giving me I gasped.

"How do you even have them?" I asked as I looked at the three pictures now in my hands.

"When I went for your crossbow I saw them right next to it and I knew you would like to keep them," Carl told me with a sad smile. "Except this one," he said, showing me a picture of the two of us that was taken only a week before the prison was destroyed. "I'm keeping this one for now."

"Sounds fair," I told him. "You got them so you must keep one."

"Cool," he said with a huge grin and then walked to his father to show him the picture.

I looked down at the pictures in my hand and realized why Carl looked at the picture sadly before giving them to me. The picture on the top was the one with Maggie, Beth, Glenn, Carl, Daryl and I. I felt how hot tears filled my eyes as I looked at my friends and the people who have become my family. I wasn't sure how many of them were alive or if they were all dead.

I put that picture on the bottom and the next picture was more recent that the one before. It was a selfie and you could only see half our faces. In the picture I could see Daryl's eye so well, the eyes I loved so much and got lost in every time I looked into them. I took a deep breath as I put this picture on the bottom, not wanting to think it might be possible that I'll never see those eyes again.

I knew I had more pictures, those probably got though, lost but I was glad Carl recovered these. Especially because the last picture was my favourite one and as soon as I looked at it, the first tear fell down my face. It was the one we were in the middle of the courtyard, we were laughing at something. This one was my favourite because we weren't posing and it showed our true happiness.

Now I understand why Carl didn't want to give me the pictures, he knew I would eventually break down. I remained strong all these days, except the day I locked myself in the bathroom for several hours but I didn't let any of them see how broken I was but now I couldn't stop the tears from falling down.

Soon, I felt warm arms around me. I was silently crying but Carl noticed, he sat next to me, still hugging me, and rested his head on my shoulder and I rested mine on top of his head and hugged him back. I tried harder to stop but now that Carl was holding me, it only made me cry even more.

"I miss him," I admitted in a hoarse voice. "I miss them all."

I knew our lives were in danger all the time, twenty-four/seven, I knew people will always die and we couldn't do anything about it but I got to a point where I actually believed Daryl and I were always going to be together and if one of us died, it would be me.

I never even got close to imagine that our home was going to get destroyed and get us separated like this. I never thought I would be sitting in a house wondering if he was alive or not, and if he was alive, wondering where he was and if he was okay or injured or if he was with someone else or all on his own. For his own good I did hope he had escaped with someone.

Michonne was pretty affected by being on her own those three days, it must have been horrible to have no one to talk to and not being able to sleep at night because there was no one else to keep watch.

"I miss him too," Carl told me as he tightened his grip on me.

It was not until then that Michonne and Rick finally realized I was crying and that Carl was at the verge of crying too. Michonne sat next to Carl and ran her hand up and down his back to comfort him while Rick knelt in front of me.

He was going to grab my hands when he saw I had the pictures in my left hand. He smiled sadly at them before grabbing them and putting them down on the sofa next to me and then he proceeded to grab my hands with his.

"I shouldn't have given them to her, I'm sorry," Carl muttered.

"No," Rick told him as he looked at his son. "It's better that she looked at them now and it's okay to cry, you know?"

Rick pulled me into a hug, running his hand up and down my back as I just cried harder. Carl let go of me and instead wrapped his arm around himself, and I did the same, wiping my tears from time to time.

"I should go look for him," I said as I slightly pushed Rick away and tried to get up but Rick didn't let me. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked right into my puffy, bloodshot eyes. "I have to find him, Rick."

"I know and you will but I can't let you go now."

"I was separated from him, from all of you for eight months," I told him as I sniffled and dried my eyes once again. "I can't let that happen again."

"Cecilia," Rick said trying to get some sense into me. "Look outside, it's getting dark. I can't let you go outside right now. We'll sleep, get some rest and tomorrow we'll make a plan, I promise."  
"What if by morning it's too late?" I muttered as I once again tried to stand up but again Rick pushed me down.

"Daryl can survive," Rick assured me. "He'll be okay."

"You don't know that," I told him. "He can be dead for all we know but I just... I have to try."

"You slept all day long today, you just ate after days of refusing to eat. You're not ready yet, let's spend this night here and we'll see what happens tomorrow."

Rick stood up, patted my shoulders and went to sit where he previously was, I just looked down at my hands, I knew Rick was right but I wanted to go out and look for him right now.

I stared at the door that was still tied with the knot Carl did, so I wouldn't be able to leave through there in case I decide to leave, besides I would have to move the sofa as well, by then Rick would notice and stop me.

"You can't leave me," Carl whispered, almost as he could hear what I was thinking. "You promised."

"I know," I said in defeat, more to myself than to Carl, remembering the time I promised Carl I would never leave him again. "I won't."

Later that night, the three of them ate dinner, I grabbed two crackers because I was full from the cereal I ate earlier. They were all glad I was eating again and sincerely, I felt so much better now that I had eaten.

I got a bit of nausea about an hour after eating those crackers and the headache came back after I broke down but it wasn't as intense as the one I had during this morning and afternoon. And the shots of pain I had been having in my stomach hadn't come as often and they weren't as strong as the first three days, they improved since last night to be honest.

As time kept passing by, Carl fell asleep upstairs in the boy's room with the book he was reading on his chest. I took the book, left it next to him and put a blanket on top of him. I smiled down at him before going downstairs and join Rick and Michonne.

"You should two sleep," I told them. "I'll stay up, keep watch, I'm not even sleepy or tired."

"I'm not sure if I should trust you to be alone here," Rick admitted, looking right into my eyes.

"If I say I'll keep watch, I will," I told him in a serious tone. "Yes, I want to leave and look for Daryl but I won't escape in the middle of the night when I say I'll be doing something else, you have my word. Besides, I have a promise to keep to Carl."

"I just don't want you making any rushed decision, putting your life in danger."

"I won't," I told him. "Now, go to sleep. That bed in the master bedroom is quite comfortable, you should try it."

"I'll trust you," Rick told me. "I hope you won't disappoint me."

Rick said good-night to Michonne and went upstairs, I was actually quite hurt he didn't trust me enough yet.

Truth was that I wanted to find Daryl because I missed him but also because if I was busy looking for him I knew I wouldn't crash down like I'm close to, I know that I wouldn't give up on him as fast. I need to do something or I'll just... give up.

"Won't you go to sleep?" I asked Michonne as I sat on one edge of the sofa, she was on the other.

"I'm not tired yet," she told me. "I took a small nap as well."

"I didn't take a short nap," I said with a chuckle. "But seriously, you are not here to keep watch on me or something, are you?"

"No, if you want to leave I can't stop you," she told me. "But I advice you not to go."

"Like I told Rick, I won't go Michonne, not yet anyway."

I lied down on the sofa, resting my head on the sofa's arm and soon my mind wandered to memories of all kind and of everyone back in the prison. I remembered when back in the camp even before we found Rick, Teresa found my gun and started to freak out, I lied to her and said it was a toy that I only had it in case I bumped into someone not friendly, she believed I couldn't even use a gun. She had no idea.

I also remembered when Amy and I stole a bottle of whiskey and drank almost all of it about two weeks after we had met and set the camp. Merle demanded to have some and he drank the last bit of it. He started flirting with me, thinking that he could get into my pants because I was drunk and the mood overall was good but when he realized I wouldn't give in, he tried with Amy.

Another thing that I remembered was when I got separated from the group. Andrea, Michonne and I went inside a building looking for shelter and some supplies, the building was infested and we barely made it out. Michonne made the mistake of leaving 'her bodyguards' outside so we didn't go unnoticed like we usually did.

"What are you thinking about?" Michonne asked me.

"Just remembering stuff," I said with a small smile.

"Of you and Daryl?"

"No," I told her. "Of everyone. Can I tell you something?"

"Sure," Michonne told me.

"After Daryl and I got together he admitted that we had kissed months ago and I didn't remember, I still don't. I mean, I have a vague and foggy image in my head but I'm not sure if that's what really happened or I just created it after he told me about it."

"You kissed?" she asked surprise. "What? How come?"

"We went to the CDC before it exploded and Daryl and I had to share a room."

"Had to, right," she said sarcastically, interrupting me.

"Yeah, had to. And for the first time ever we felt safe, so all of us or most of us got drunk. You have no idea how much we drank that night, but the next day the scientist there told us there was no hope, so, Daryl and I got drunk again and he says we kissed then, just before all of that went to shit and we barely escaped out of there alive. If he hadn't told me, I would really have no idea."

"So, he actually knew that you had kissed and he said nothing for months? He kept denying you were into each other even when he knew that?" Michonne asked in disbelief. "Damn, he's more of an idiot than I thought. And you really don't remember?"

"He thought it didn't mean anything, he had just lost Merle and days after that I lost my sister, it wasn't the right time," I told her. "Plus he said that since I didn't bring it up he thought I didn't want to talk about it, he never imagined I had no memories of that moment. And well, only weeks later we got separated, right when you found me."

"Still, he should have made a move earlier with that information," Michonne told me.

"Speaking of making a move," I said with a smirk on my face now. "You should make one on Rick, can take Carl out, go looking for some food, leave you two alone for some time."

"I already told you, there is nothing between Rick and I," Michonne exclaimed. "He just lost his daughter," she whispered to me.

"You're right about that but you do like him and he likes you back," I stated. "Don't be fools like Daryl and me, pretending we didn't like each other when we really did. After what happened to the prison and realizing that we are not safe anywhere, you should just go for it."

"Cecil..."

"I can talk to Rick if you want."

"No! Don't you dare!"

"Don't worry, I'll just ask him if he likes you," I told her.

"Will you tell me what he says?"

"So, you are interested in what he has to say about that," I exclaimed with a smirk, I had just caught her.

"Shut up."  
"Just think like it wasn't a coincidence that you found him instead of anyone else," I said.

"Cecilia?"

"Yeah?"

"Just shut up and go to sleep," she told me. "I'm starting to regret making you company here."

"I won't sleep all night long, I doubt I can."

"Damn it."

"Don't worry, I won't talk about your crush on Rick," I said and after that she threw a small cushion at me, I didn't see it coming so it hit me right in the face. "Hey!"

"You deserved it!"

"Now you feel what I felt when all of you teased me about liking Daryl," I whined. "It's payback."

"Whatever," she muttered.

I chuckled at her before everything became quiet between the two. It wasn't uncomfortable or anything, though. I turned to my side and closed my eyes as I started thinking about all the good memories I have had these last couple of years despite the fact the dead now roam and control the world.

FLASHBACK

My parents were fighting in our tent because my father was hungry even after he ate all his portion for dinner and my mother gave him something from her own food. My father used to eat dinner and then around mid-night he sneaked downstairs to the kitchen to eat a second dinner.

It was one thing to hear your parents fighting from your own room and another being in a tent all together and witness every little fight. The punches hadn't started yet tonight but I knew there were going to be a few of them soon and I didn't want to be there when it happened, I could eventually take my mother's place as punch bag, or even Sophia, and I wouldn't be able to stand that.

Ever since I came from New York to visit my family I already got two beating and some bruises, my sides and part of my back were covered in them and I hated it, that's why I didn't want to come, I knew this would happen. But I got them because I was trying to defend Sophia, she shouldn't live this hell.

Trying hard to not be spotted, I crawled slowly to the exit of the tent, which seemed too crowded with my father here. Luckily my father's back was to me, my mother saw me leaving but she said nothing, she never does but this time I was glad she stayed quiet.

Once outside, I stood up and walked away quickly and even from here I could hear my father's strong voice, clear and loud. This proved that everybody in camp must hear him every night and still they choose to ignore it, as everyone always does.

I walked by Teresa's and Oliver's tent, which they share with Glenn and heard no noise coming from inside, meaning they were all sleeping. I decided it wouldn't be a good idea to open the tent and step inside, besides it was already full. I walked by Andrea's and Amy's and the same thing and I didn't feel as comfortable with them so I didn't dare ask them to let me stay with them.

As I usually preferred to stay out of people's lives and be on my own I really didn't trust anyone else that much, I barely talked to the rest when I had to. Dale could let me stay in his RV for the night but he probably was sleeping by now and I didn't dare ask.

After thinking of what to do for twenty minutes, I got a blanket that was on a tree branch so it could dry, but to my luck it had already dried. I thought it was Lori's but at the moment I didn't care, I guess I would have to apologize tomorrow and wash it again.

I set the blanket on the cold hard ground and used half as my 'mattress' and the other half to cover myself, it wasn't winter or fall yet but I was starting to get really cold but I refused to go inside that tent again, I could still hear my father yelling.

I tried to sleep but due to the cold and all the noises, I just couldn't. I heard the branches of the tree moving with the wind, I heard owls and other night animals and every one and then I heard a twig snapping, making me jump.

I wasn't sure how long I had been there but around an hour and a half or two, I was shivering no stop by now and my teeth were clattering. I tried hard not to think about how cold I was as I tried to cover myself even more, I was sure I looked like a caterpillar or something like that by now.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

I sat up immediately and looked at the person in fright. I was more startled because the person was only about six feet away from me and I didn't hear him approaching me, now I know how he hunts all those animals, he doesn't even make a single sound.

"I could ask you the same question," I muttered, not wanting to tell him my parents were fighting... again, I couldn't hear them anymore so it wasn't as obvious anymore.

"I just came from hunting," he replied in an annoyed tone. Daryl talked like that all the time that I seriously considered that was just the way he always talked, that he wasn't really annoyed. "Are you trying to die from freezing or being bait for the walkers?"

"I didn't think it would be so cold," I admitted.

"Come on," he said with a sigh.

"What?" I asked confused.

"You can sleep with me."

"You serious?"

"If you ask one more time, I swear I'll leave you here," he muttered. Then hesitantly, he offered his hand to me. I looked at it not believing he was being so nice before I took it.

I grabbed the blanket and followed Daryl inside his tent. I felt a bit awkward around him but Daryl seemed totally cool with it.

"Give me that," he said pointing to the blanket, I looked at him strangely before handing him the blanket. He folded it in twice, laid it on the ground after he moved his sleeping bag further to the right and then he sat on top of it.

"What are you doing?"

"Take my sleeping bag," he muttered without bothering to look at me. "You're freezing."

"Daryl, I..."

"Take it," he stated firmly. "And stop talking, I want to sleep."  
"Alright, thanks," I mumbled. "Good-night."

I timidly got inside his sleeping bag and almost instantly, I stopped shivering. I smiled at the warmest I was feeling now and Daryl's odd kindness, I could have sworn that he would have left me outside even if I was only minutes from dying, but he didn't.

For the very first time since I came to visit my family and all of this mess started, I slept well and content, knowing that I was safe in here.

Hello guys! I'm back! So, finally back to Cecilia's POV.

So, I know I have already asked this, but when Daryl leaves with Carol to go find Beth in Atlanta, what should Cecilia do? There was a tie last time and I'm just stuck in that part. I need your help.

These are the options:

Cecilia goes with Daryl and Carol to Atlanta

Cecilia goes only with Daryl, Carol stays behind with the group at the church

Cecilia stays and doesn't notice when the two of them leave and gets upset at both for leaving

So anyway, thank you for reading and commenting! And have an awesome week you all!


	24. Chapter 24 - Unwelcome Visitors

"If something does go wrong, here is my advice... KEEP CALM and CARRY ON."

– Maira Kalman, The Principles of Uncertainty

"You were right," Rick said to me the next morning as he came walking down the stairs. "That bed wasn't bad at all."

"Told ya," I said with a grin.

"Everything alright?" he asked me.

"Yeah, some walkers passed by around one in the morning and then another group passed around three, I'm not sure how many but there weren't more than five, I could just hear them and I could tell it wasn't a big group."

"Well, good they didn't notice us," Rick said as he sat next to me on the couch. "Where's Michonne?"

"In the bathroom," I told him and then smiled at him. "I told her I would kick her out if she didn't shower."

"I should take one as well," Rick admitted. "I only washed my face and cleaned my wounds the other day."

A few minutes later Carl joined us, he looked really sleepy and his long brown hair was all over the place, I suppose mine was like that too. He mumbled an almost unintelligible 'morning' before he sat in between us with his eyes still half closed.

"You stayed up all night?" Carl muttered.

"Almost," I told him. "I fell asleep around four and then I woke up around five and then fell asleep for like another hour or so, I still want to sleep a bit more."

After Carl woke up properly, he went to the kitchen, grabbed his bowl and spoon and took those to the dining room along with the cereal, he sat and served himself some of it. I sat down next to him after I grabbed my bowl and spoon.

"This is good," I commented, Carl only nodded at me, he was still sleepy.

About two minutes later we were joined by Michonne, who already had a bowl in her hands but that wasn't what caught our attention. She was wearing a fancy, white, long-sleeve shirt that probably belonged to the mother of the house. Carl and I chuckled at the sight. Michonne sighed as she set three bottles of water on the table, one for each one of us.

"Do you have something to say about my extremely comfortable and attractive shirt?"

"No, no, no," Carl muttered in between laughs. "It looks great."

"You should change styles, Mich," I told her as I chuckled. "It suits you."

"At least I don't wear kids' clothes," she shot back.

Michonne ignored our jokes and laughs as she made a knot on the back of the shirt, making it tighter on her and then she sat in front of me.  
"I wish we had some soy milk," she commented before serving herself the last bit of the cereal.  
"Seriously?" Carl asked surprised.

"Yes, seriously. Have you ever tried it?" Michonne asked, looking from Carl to me.

"It's not that bad but I prefer normal milk," I told her. "Actually, I don't even remember what milk tastes like."

"My best friend in third grade, he was allergic to dairy," he told us. "And every day he would bring this soy stuff to lunch. I tried it."  
"And?" Michonne exclaimed.

"I threw up," Carl said and then chuckled.  
"Oh, yeah, right," Michonne said, not believing him.  
"All right, all right. I almost threw up, But I was like, wuah," Carl exclaimed as he pretended to puke. Michonne and I laughed at him. "It was so gross. I mean, literally, I would rather have powdered milk than to have to drink that stuff again. I would rather have Judith's formul..."

An awkward silence fell upon us as we realized what Carl had said, after he realized what he had said. I looked down at my cereal and bit my lip not knowing what to say to make it all okay.

"I'm gonna go finish my book," Carl exclaimed as he quickly stood up once he recovered. "I have a couple chapters left."  
Michonne and I just looked at each other after Carl left and we heard him going upstairs. I took a deep breath and looked down at my food again, not feeling hungry anymore.

"I'm gonna... uh, I better save this," I grabbed the bag of the cereal and returned the cereal there, I knew that if I had done that years ago my mother would have killed me but now we needed to save everything, even the crumbs.

"Ceci..."

"It's okay," I said quickly. "I'm not that hungry."

I undid my ponytail as I walked to the kitchen where I found Rick. I smiled at him as I attempted to make a nice ponytail but my hair was so messy and tangled I couldn't get my fingers through it, so I gave up and put my hair in a high bun.

"Why don't you eat something?"

"I will," he told me.

"Rick, I..."

"Here," he said quickly, interrupting me. He was handing me a big knife he found in a cabinet. "You don't have one, do you?"

"No, I lost it," I told him as I took it in my hands. "Thanks."

"How are you doing on ammo?" he asked me.

"I still have every bullet," I told him. "And I only hope that I don't break any arrow, why? Are you out?"

"No, not yet but I'm close to."

Michonne joined us then, apparently she did eat her breakfast. She looked hesitantly as she walked in and I wondered why was that.

"Thank you," Rick said when he saw her. "I heard him laughing in there, almost forgot what that sounded like."

"Yeah," I said sadly. "Me too."  
"I can't be his father and his best friend," Rick told us. "You're like his big annoying but caring sister," he said to me and then turned to look at Michonne. "He needs you too."

Michonne looked up at him in surprise. She was leant against one of the white counters of the kitchen, while Rick and I were on the other side of the kitchen in front of her.  
"I know that's a lot to throw at you. So, if you're ever feeling like you need a break..."

"I'm done taking breaks," Michonne exclaimed quickly, interrupting Rick, who only nodded at her, being a bit stunned. "So what's the plan? This place, is it home or just a stop along the way?"

I turned to look at Rick, being interested in the answer as well. This place seemed alright, I admit that, but I needed to look for Daryl. I couldn't stay here forever... I couldn't even stay one more night.

"Well, let's..." he started, glancing at me before he turned to look at Michonne again. "Let's just stay here while we figure it out.

"I need to look for Daryl, Rick," I exclaimed firmly.

"I know, we just need to not rush things and make stupid and reckless decisions."  
"Well, we'll need more supplies," Michonne said. "I'll go with Carl and get some."  
"I'll come, too," Rick said almost instantly.

I think that for the first time ever I wasn't really looking forward to go on a run for supplies, I actually was going to volunteer to stay. If I couldn't go on my own to find Daryl then there was not much I wanted to do.  
"You were unconscious not long ago," Michonne exclaimed.  
"I'm awake today," Rick argued.  
"We need you strong. Just rest," Michonne told him. "Just one more day."

Rick just looked at her with a look on his face that I had never seen before, it was like Michonne made him feel safe and he knew Carl would be okay with her. Rick didn't agree or say anything else but I knew this discussion was over. Rick was staying to rest.

"Don't worry," I said, breaking the silence and breaking the stares they were giving to each other. "You'll stay with me."

"You are not going?" Rick exclaimed in surprise.

"Nah, not this time," I muttered as Michonne walked out, probably to go tell Carl about the run. "Maybe you could let me go around, I won't go far, I promise."

"If you go, I'll go with you," Rick told me. "I will be nervous all the time. I'll already be nervous for Carl, don't give me more to worry about, alright? Let's just go one step at a time."

I crossed my arms and sighed in defeat, feeling like a young girl being denied to go out to play. If I hadn't made that promise to Carl I would be out of this house looking for Daryl already. The only thing that calmed me down a bit was the fact that I knew that Daryl knows how to survive.

"I'm not a child, Rick," I told him.

"I feel like you are my daughter and after losing almost everyone, I feel like I have to protect you. I don't want to lose you too."

"You and Carl won't lose me, I just feel like I should look around, feel content that at least I tried," I said. "Get some closure, you know? At least that. If I don't go today, I won't be okay with myself, I need to look for him."

"Tell you what," Rick said as he rested a hand on my shoulder. "Once they are back, you and I will go around and look until around five, so we still have light by the time we come back."

"But you need to rest, Rick."

"I can handle it," he told me. "I want to find him too."

"Alright, but don't tire yourself out, deal?"

"Deal."

As we talked Michonne went to get Carl, the two of them had already bags in their hands. They were quite quick.

"How long you think you'll be?" Rick asked as he followed them out of the door.

"Fill a couple bags, shouldn't be too long," Michonne told him.  
"It's 8:15 now," Rick commented as he looked at a very familiar watch. I was leaning on the door but couldn't be sure from this distance.

"Is that... is that my mum's?" I asked as I approached them.

"Yeah," Rick replied in a hoarse voice just before he coughed nervously. "She gave it to me when... uh, yeah."

"We'll be back by noon," Michonne spoke when he realized things were getting a bit awkward.  
"All right, you follow her lead," Rick said as he turned to Carl. "You understand?"

Rick took his gun and gave it to Carl, he had used all his bullets the other day when he went to get us more food.

"Hey," Rick exclaimed. "Everything okay?"

To be honest, ever since he mentioned his little sister that spark that was back in his eyes since Rick woke up again and he forgave him, was gone again. He looked sad and unmotivated but I couldn't blame him, I lost my own sister and I took it much worse than him.

"Yeah, I'm just hungry," Carl muttered.  
"All right," Rick said, "I'll see you in a couple hours."

I walked back inside but Rick waited until Carl and Michonne were out from his sight. Rick told me he was going to take the shower he said he needed earlier, while I just changed my clothes. This time I worn some jeans from the mother, so they would reach below my ankle but they were too lose, so I had to use a belt from the boy. I also used clean panties and a brand new black bra I found in the drawer and put on a yellow tank top from the mother and on top of it I used a dark blue long sleeve shirt from the father, buttoning only half of the buttons. The shirt was huge but it was comfortable.

I was actually happy with my outfit, it was cooler than the boy's clothes I had been wearing for the last two days or so. The only thing I missed from my belongings was my sport bras, I really wish I could find more soon, normal bras were so uncomfortable.

Once I finished, I sat down on the bed with a book in one hand and a brush in the other. I really needed to brush this hair. Because of all the knots it hurt like a bitch but it was worth it. I even French braided it so it wouldn't get so tangled again.

Then I lied down on my stomach and started reading the book I had picked. 'One Thousand and One Night'. I had heard it was a good book but I never bought it or remembered to buy it.

Minutes later after I started reading it, Rick walked into the bedroom and smiled at me when he saw me. He looked clean, better and he was wearing clean clothes, he had chosen a pure white T-shirt that made him look so much better than the ripped brown shirt he had been wearing.

"Mind if I join you?"

"No, not at all," I said with a smile.

Rick smiled again and sat down next to me, he set the watch on the night table and then rested his back on the wall. Opening the book he had brought to read.

"Oh, Rick, your feet smell," I joked as I pushed his feet away from me, which were almost next to my face.

"Yeah, well, yours smell too," he said as he pushed my own feet, which one was over the other. "So, we are even."

I stopped pushing his feet and went back to my book, which was very interesting, actually. I never was the reading type, I read a book here and there and only thin ones, the only thick books I read were the Harry Potter books and the last ones took me like a month or even more to finish each. It took me around a year to finish them all.

Once, I tried reading The Lord of the Rings but I didn't get far with them to be honest. Narnia was different, the books are way thinner and I managed to read them all, but it took me a while, as always.

"Are you upset because your mother gave me the watch?" Rick suddenly asked.

"No, of course not. I'm actually happy she finally got rid of it," I told him as I turned my head to look back at him. "I kept telling her for months to get over my father and just throw the watch away or something. She claimed she needed it but I knew it was only a lame excuse to keep it."

"Are you upset because of what I did to Carol?"

I sat up and turned to look at Rick right in the eye, making sure I remembered the page I was reading in case the book closed.

"No," I said sincerely. "She killed them, I understand you had to do it. And I understand that she had to face the consequences of what she did. You said she wasn't sorry, can't blame you."

"Okay," Rick said with relief. "I always believed you were mad at me because of it."

"No, I was mad at my mother, not at you," I told him. "But looking at the bright side, she might be alive. She wasn't at the prison and she knows how to survive now. I like to think now that everything happens for a reason. Maybe she was supposed to be away from there, so she could live and besides she told you about..." My voice broke as I tried to say his name, even after a couple of months I still had problems speaking about him.

"Sean?"

"Yeah," I muttered, looking down for a bit. "Maybe if you hadn't found us in the woods, I wouldn't have made it. I remember you and Daryl carried me to the prison, Sean wouldn't have done that. Of course, that doesn't make me less sad about not having her here, not having her when I needed her the most."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry," I said with a smile to reassure him. "Things worked out and Axel is with her, so, at lease she's not alone. It must be maddening to be on your own for so long."

"You're right."

After that I went back to my book, which now was closed. I opened it again and started reading. I couldn't believe how good this book was.

I was so immersed in the book, I didn't realize how much time had passed. I sat up and stretched, making my back crack. I looked behind me and saw Rick sleeping with the book lying on his chest. I smiled at him, he was finally getting some deserved rest.

I stood up and went to the bathroom, as I finished I heard the sofa downstairs being pushed and the door being opened. I was about to ask Carl how everything went when I heard different male voices. I ran back to the master bedroom to wake Rick up. I shook him and when he was going to ask me what was wrong, I shook my head and brought my index finger to my lips, signalling him to keep quiet and then he knew why, he heard the voices too.

"Get under the bed," he whispered to me. "Now," he said more urgently as we heard a loud screaming downstairs.

A man got upstairs and was checking the room closest to the stairs and Rick still hadn't gotten under the bed with me. I wanted to tell him to hide but then we would be heard. Then Rick ran to the other side of the bed and got under it with his book and his watch. I cursed in my head because I had left the book on the bed.

When the man walked to the other room, Rick quickly grabbed his bottle of water and I grabbed my book and left it on the floor. Seconds later we saw the feet of the man, he was inside the room, I could only pray to not be seen. I had a pillow in front of me that hid almost all of me from view but the man kicked it to the side, I thought he knew about us but he just moved to the closet, checking inside of it.

I turned to look at Rick and saw his hands shaking badly, as the man started walking and making some noise with every step he took, I dared to grab Rick's left hand, he turned to look at me and just nodded as he gripped my hand.

The man lied down on the bed, making the mattress sink with his weight and hitting Rick on his back, making him slightly jump.

"This will be our abode for the evening," I heard a man downstairs saying and I just cursed in my head. We needed to leave and find Michonne and Carl before they return.

I rested my head on the wooden floor as we waited, every minute seemed like an hour and I feared it would only be a matter of time before we are found and maybe killed.

Based on Rick's watch, about fifteen minutes had passed since we hid under the bed. We could hear the man snoring, so, I was going to tell Rick with signs that we should leave when we heard someone else going up the stairs. Since this room was in front of the stairs we could perfectly see the man and he could have seen us too but luckily he didn't.

"Yo! Comfy?" The man asked as he stood by the door.

"You waking me up to see if I'm comfortable?" the other man muttered in an annoyed tone.

"I want to lie down."  
"Two other bedrooms up here to choose."  
"Them's kids' beds, I want this one," the man exclaimed as he walked into the room.  
"It's claimed."  
"I didn't hear it. You gonna have to lay claim somewhere else."

Not long after that I heard them struggling as the man on the bed was pulled to his feet. If they fought for a bed and they were group mates, I didn't want to imagine what they could do to us, strangers.

My thoughts were interrupted when the man that was sleeping before, was thrown to the ground in front of us. My eyes went wide in horror as I saw him struggling against the other man, who punched the one on the floor, making his face turn in our direction. He opened his eyes as he coughed and his green eyes got twice as big when he saw us.  
"Len! Len, stop!" the man exclaimed, trying to warm the other about us but he kept suffocating him. "Stop, Len! Stop!"  
"My bed now, jackoff!" the Len guy exclaimed as the other man fell unconscious, much to our luck.

Len moved to the side of the bed where Rick was and jumped on it, making the mattress sink with his weight and once again it hit Rick on his back.

Now we needed more than ever to get out of here, this man could wake up at any time and if he did when we were still here then we could consider ourselves dead.

About another twenty minutes passed when we started hearing Len snoring, Rick tapped my shoulder and with his hands he ordered me to get out. I slowly moved to my left and dragged my body out of the bed, I slowly pulled myself up and waited for Rick to get out too. When he was about to do it, he bumped into Len's foot, that was hanging from that side of the bed. I looked at the man and saw him move slightly but luckily he didn't wake up. Rick continued to move but making sure to not touch his foot again. I offered him my hand and helped him getting up to his feet.

"Tony, Len, get your asses down here," a third voice called from downstairs.

Rick and I silently rushed out of the room and we saw a man with greyish hair going up the stairs, bouncing a tennis ball against the walls on his way. Rick and I walked into the boy's room, where Carl usually spends his time.

"Yo, you hear me?"

This room was kind weird, it had a small room inside of it, it didn't have a door, just a space to walk through, the bed was there. Rick hid behind the left side of that wall and I hid behind the right one. We heard the older man walking into the room as he kept bouncing that wall, making my heart jump every time he did that.

After he looked at some stuff, he stood by the little space in between the walls and bounced the ball against the wall in front of him, I could literally see his hand as he threw the ball. Rick and I stood still like statues as the man kept bouncing the ball.

Luckily, my crossbow was here and not in the master bedroom or downstairs, I had left it here two days ago after Carl called me to show me something he had found. I was glad I hadn't had the need to use it lately. After the man walked away I grabbed and loaded it, in case I needed to use it.

Rick and I tried to open the windows but we couldn't get them up, so Rick and I walked into the bigger part of the room, where Rick grabbed a trophy. We were about to walk out of the room when we saw two men walking out of the master bedroom.

"There's a woman shacking up in here!" I froze when I heard that.  
"She hot?" I think Len asked.  
"She ain't here," a man from downstairs exclaimed, I felt myself releasing the breath I was holding. They hadn't seen me.  
"What the hell you hollering about?" Len yelled.

"Found her shirt, must have washed it this morning, smells good."

Unfortunately they now know there's someone in here, they found Michonne's shirt but they didn't know how many more were with her so that was good in a way.  
"Oh, you found a shirt? She could be miles away by now."

"Why'd she go to all the trouble of washing a shirt when she's just gonna ditch it? She'll be back. I call first when she gets here."  
"Who knows who else she got with her, we need to be ready for anything."

Rick and I were running to the master bedroom, where they had left a big gun. Tony, the man on the floor, was still there passed out.

"Hold on, I left the gun upstairs," we heard Len saying. "Hey, why don't you go for it?"

"Whatever," we heard another voice saying as that other man started going up the stairs.

Rick and I stopped dead in our tracks and went somewhere as silently as we could. Unlucky for me I wasn't fast enough and this man saw me. He stood on the top of the stairs just looking at me and I was also petrified on my spot. This man had blonde hair and striking green eyes, very similar to the eyes of Teresa. Luckily, he didn't alert anyone about me, he only smirked at me as he took a step towards me.

He probably believed I was the girl of the shirt they found and he was coming for me. Before I could even think about it, my instincts of survival kicked in, I pointed my crossbow at him and before he could react or yell out, I shot an arrow at him, it went right through his forehead. I guess it had become a habit to aim at the head. I retrieved the arrow quickly and walked into the bathroom, where Rick was trying to suffocate another man.

I quickly closed the door so the men downstairs wouldn't hear. The man kept trying to grab some scissors but I got to them before him. I kicked him down there, giving Rick more advantage. The two of them fell down to the floor and finally the man was dead.

Rick grabbed the man's gun as I opened the window, which luckily could be opened. I was going out when I saw Rick going in the opposite direction.

"What are you doing?" I whispered, Rick was opening the door.

"He'll turn." That was all he said before he climbed out of the window as well.

We walked on the ceiling carefully and crouched, so we wouldn't be seen through the windows in case someone else was around.

"I'll go first," he whispered to me. "I'll jump, once I'm down, you just have to hang on here and I'll get you."

Before I could nod, Rick pushed himself to the edge, he held on with only his hands before he let go. He made sure no one saw him or heard before he nodded at me. I gulped as I did the same as him, I let the rest of my body fall and I almost let go, falling on top of Rick but I gripped the edge tightly as my body swang a bit . Rick quickly grabbed me by my thighs and I let go. He set me on the floor quite fast and we both ran down the stairs of the porch.

Carefully and silently, we walked all the way to the front of the house, where we hid in a corner for a bit longer. We heard a door being opened, followed by the bounces of the ball, meaning it was the same man we saw earlier. He sat on the railing of the porch as he ate something, he was literally next to us and if he looked down he would see us.

To our bad luck, we saw Michonne and Carl coming back to the house, it must be noon or close to it. I cursed once again in my head. We couldn't let them be seen or this would get ugly. We already killed two of his men and... shit, that man saw our faces, we should have killed him before leaving.

Getting impatient, Rick started to get up and get ready to shoot the man, it was the only way. I stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder and shaking my head at him. I pointed twice to my chest, meaning that I would do it with my crossbow so the others wouldn't hear the shot.

I was about to stand up and do it when I heard a man screaming from inside, apparently the man Rick killed had turned and attacked someone inside already. I couldn't be more thankful for Rick's clever idea as the man here started to walk back inside the house.

We heard some gunshots and a second later, Rick slightly pushed me forward and the two of us ran as fast as we could to where Carl and Michonne were, who had also heard the gunshots.

"Come on!" Rick whispered urgently to them.

The two of them started running as well, Rick looked back to make sure we weren't being followed, before he quickened his pace. I was surprised that I got out of breath quickly but I kept going. We left the neighbourhood and ran even half a mile more before stopping.

I panted and crouched, resting my hands over my knees to catch my breath. Being in a house for almost a week doing nothing but eat and rest hadn't done me any good.

"What happened?" Carl asked in between deep breaths.

"A group of men," Rick told him. "Apparently they weren't friendly."

"Aww, I left my shirt," Michonne exclaimed sadly.

"I told you, you needed to change styles," I exclaimed with a smirk. "That new shirt suits you."

"Speaking of styles, good to see you are wearing something better," she told me. "Anyway, what are we going to do?"

"Get as far as we can," Rick exclaimed. "Apparently that was only a stop along the way," he said looking at Michonne, answering the question she made earlier.

I was sad we had lost our house and it wasn't safe to stay in another close to them, so we had to be out in the open again but I was satisfied that in a way, I was looking for Daryl now. I only wished I could have learnt to track.

Hello everyone! I don't really have much to say today. But as always, hoped you liked it and thanks for keep reading and all the comments I've gotten. I really appreciate all that. 3


	25. Chapter 25 - Last Man Standing

"She taught me that life goes on, and that I had a choice.

To lament what I no longer had or be grateful for what remained."

\- Louise Penny, A Rule Against Murder

Daryl's POV

I pushed the trunk open after we were made to hide in a random car's trunk because a huge herd was following us last night.

Once we were out, we looked inside the car for anything we could use, including broken glass, the rear-view mirrors, and anything that could be tied so whenever a walker passed by it would make noise to alert us.

When I was sure we had grabbed everything useful from there, I put the plastic bag over my shoulder and started to walk down the road. Beth only silently followed me, like she had done for the last couple of days.

Some miles away I decided to get back into the woods, we had more cover there, from both, walkers and other people. We didn't want to bump into the wrong kind of people.

As we walked further I finally saw a squirrel, I shot an arrow at it but unfortunately I missed, thing that doesn't happen often. Upset with myself, I went to grab my arrow from the tree, when I did I noticed it was broken, great, just what we needed.

I kept the spike of the arrow and threw the rest before I walked back to our 'camp'. Beth was making a fire, using the mirror to light the wood and then she tied a rope with the things from the car around the place.

I spotted a snake not far from there, so I slowly followed it, it was a rattlesnake, so it was poisonous. I needed to be careful. With the help of a stick, I stopped it from moving its head and quickly stabbed it. I skinned the animal and with the help of the fire Beth made, I cooked it, otherwise I would have eaten it raw, I was starving.

Beth hesitantly ate the piece I gave her, like if she wasn't too keen about eating a snake but I couldn't care less, I had eaten worse things.

"What about the poison?" she asked. "Won't it... won't anything happen to us?"

"No."

I continued to eat my piece of snake, this was the first piece of meat I had had in around two weeks and I needed it. I had only eaten crap lately and only small amounts of it. I was seriously starving and losing strength.

"I need a drink," she said suddenly. I only threw a bottle of water in her direction without even looking at her, for all I knew I could have hit it with the bottle but right now I just didn't care about anything. "No, I mean a real drink, as in alcohol. I've never had one. 'Cause of my dad. But he's not exactly around anymore, so..." She made a little pause when she noticed I wasn't even looking at her but then she continued. "I thought we could go find some."  
Beth looked at me, waiting for me to say something to her but I didn't. I ignored her completely, like if she wasn't even talking to me. I knew I was being a jerk but I couldn't deal with her bullshit right now. Beth stood up and awkwardly walked in front of me, she grabbed the knife and walked away. I didn't even look up, maybe she expected me to go after her like the other times but I wasn't doing that now, I wasn't her babysitter. We had just set this camp and now she wanted to leave? Who gets this girl?

I was enjoying my snake when I heard snarling, I wanted to ignore it and keep eating. I had told myself to not go after Beth like if I was a mother going after her spoiled little toddler, but I couldn't help it. I stood up with a sigh out of annoyance, grabbed my crossbow and went the direction Beth went.

I found the stubborn girl hiding behind a tree, watching as a walker went the other way. I was ready to shoot it just in case but once it walked away, I lowered my crossbow. She turned around and slightly jumped and gasped when she saw me but she calmed down when she saw it was only me. I glared at her before I turned around and walked back to camp, except she didn't know that.

Then Beth almost tripped with the rope she tied around the trees of our little camp. I was actually surprised she didn't realize we were going in the same direction we had come from.  
"What the hell? You brought me back!" she exclaimed angrily at me. "I'm not staying in this suck-ass camp."

Well, it was the best we could have now, stupid little ungrateful girl. She glared at me and gave me the finger before she turned around, preparing to leave for her stupid booze.  
"Hey!" I exclaimed, grabbing her wrist to stop her but she jerked it away. "You had your fun!"  
"What the hell is wrong with you? Do you feel anything?" she exclaimed. I could ask her the same, she was acting so immature and I was sick of it. "Yeah, you think every thing's screwed. I guess that's a feeling. So you want to spend the rest of our lives staring into a fire and eating mud snakes. Screw that! We might as well do something! I can take care of myself and I'm gonna get a damn drink!"

Beth turned around and walked away, this time I didn't try to stop her. Instead, I slowly grabbed all our stuff and put them back inside the bag. I knew I could find Beth by following her tracks and hearing her, sometimes she was just as noisy as Cecilia, who hadn't learnt to be silent yet, not as much as me.

And as I suspected, I caught up with her quickly. She said nothing else to me but I could tell she wanted to say many more things. I was also upset so I knew it was better to keep my mouth shut. I knew when I'm upset I could say things I'd regret later.

About an hour after that, we got out of the woods, stepping into a golf field. There was a golf car overturned not far from us and the club house was in our view.  
"Golfers like to booze it up, right?" Beth asked me as she finally turned to look at me, but as usual I said nothing. "Come on."

We walked to the house in a steady pace and in silence, there were some walkers away from us and we didn't want them to know we were edible. As we got to the house I saw a sign that read 'Pine Vista, Country Club'.

"Might be people inside," Beth commented as we saw a dead walker in front of the entrance, which was locked. The other walkers were approaching us so we quickly went to look for a back entrance and luckily we found one and it was unlocked. On the way here I had found a golf club, so I held it tight in my hand as I opened the door.

There wasn't anyone in this room, at least alive. I closed the door and put the club on them so they would keep closed. As we walked further into the room I saw some walkers hanging from the ceiling, so they committed suicide when they were still alive and eventually turned. There were dead bodies on the floor as well, these had gunshots wounds on their heads and there was clothes hanging on ropes, apparently people made this their home at some point until they decided to kill themselves. I saw a lot of money on the ground and quickly threw it inside a bag, honestly I had never seen so much money and right now it really didn't matter.

"Why are you keeping all that stuff?" Beth asked me. I didn't answer her, as usual. Beth didn't have the chance to ask me again because the walkers outside had finally caught up with us, they were banging on the door.

"Come on," I muttered as I put the bag over my shoulders.

I pushed the other doors opened and quickly closed them, looking around this hallway but luckily there weren't walkers here. We kept walking until we found the kitchen. I was looking for food while Beth was looking for alcohol, unfortunately there seem to be nothing left.

Not long after that I heard snarling and someone struggling. I ran to the source of the sound and saw Beth trying to stab a walker with a broken bottle of wine, her attempts were in vain. She pinned the walker to the ground, got her knife and stabbed him in its forehead.  
"Thanks for the help," she sarcastically muttered at me.  
"You said you could take care of yourself," I mumbled with a shrug. I was ready to intervene but I let her do it this time. "You did."  
After that we went down some stairs, a furniture was blocking our way and we couldn't move it so I had to kneel and drag myself under it to the other side, where a big grandfather clock was, it chimed loudly when I tried to straightened it. I stood up quickly and cursed in my head but apparently there were no walkers around.

We continued our way until the shop of the place, there was a lot of clothes there. Even when we had found some a few days ago and changed, Beth's shirt was ripped on one side so she grabbed a new one from here and went to change while I kept looking around the place.

There was a horrible half female corpse, she was wearing an unbuttoned shirt, a beige bra, some jewels and a sign that read 'RICH BITCH', it looked like a mummy and it was really disgusting. She was pinned over some mannequin legs, which were stained with blood.

"Help me take her down," Beth told me as she tried to move her.  
"It don't matter. She's dead."

"It does matter," she insisted, speaking in a very soft tone, it actually got to me.  
I grabbed a blue sheet and stood up. I wrapped the sheet around the corpse, I wasn't going to touch her or move her so I just covered the body with the sheet and it seemed it was enough for Beth. I walked out of there and went back the way we came through, I had a flashlight on my hand, this part was dark even when it was daytime.

Suddenly the grandfather clock started chiming, making us both jump. I told Beth to continue, it was a bad idea to stay there. As we kept walking, I heard snarling, apparently, the sound of the clock attracted them.

"Move," I whispered to Beth.

We went inside another room and there were more walkers there. I turned around and ran away, following Beth. We ended up in a bright room, which seemed like a bedroom. I waited for the walkers to get inside to shoot the first with my crossbow. I struggled with the second, I pushed him away and quickly grabbed a golf club, I hit the walker with it. Unfortunately the golf club broke when I hit the third walker, I kept that part of it and stabbed the next walker. I kicked the fifth one to give me some time. A sixth one walked in just as I had grabbed my knife, I stabbed it quickly, burying the whole blade in its eye.

The walker I kicked stood up and came towards me, I grabbed another golf club quickly. I walked towards it and started hitting the walker, bringing it down to the floor. At the moment I just kept furiously hitting it, pouring all my anger out.

I was angry because of pretty much everything. Because I had no idea where Cecilia was, or because we were attacked and lost everything and a lot of people and Hershel was killed or because I had no idea who else had escaped or just because the dead now control the earth.

I kept hitting the walker with all my strength until a part of its head flew away, making Beth's new shirt stained with blood, speaking of her, why didn't she even try to help me? Like I said, I'm her fucking babysitter and bodyguard, we are not a team, we don't work together.

As soon as I saw that, I stopped hitting it and I panted heavily. I hadn't realize how much effort I was using until I stopped. Beth walked out of the room and I eventually followed her. We had gotten to the restaurant of the place.  
"I know you think this is stupid," she told me as she turned to look at me, I said nothing but I did believe this was stupid and reckless. "And it probably is but I don't care. All I wanted to do today was lay down and cry, but we don't get to do that. So, beat up on walkers if that makes you feel better. I need to do this."

Beth went behind the counter to look for her desired alcohol while I kept recollecting stuff, I didn't even know why I was doing that.  
"Peach schnapps," Beth muttered as she sat on a booth. "Is it good?"

"No."  
"Well, it's the only thing left."

I walked past her and grabbed some darts and started throwing them, once I went to grab them again, I started throwing them to some pictures of probably important people here, like the president of the place.  
As I threw like the fourth dart, I turned to look at Beth to see if she had had her damn drink but I found her crying. I awkwardly stood still, feeling like I didn't know what to do. She only cried harder. I admit it must be hard to see your father being killed in such a brutal and heartless way. I threw another dart, trying to ignore her but truth was that I couldn't just ignore her but I couldn't comfort her either. I threw the last dart before grabbing the bottle Beth had found and smashing it on the ground.

"Ain't gonna have your first drink be no damned peach schnapps," I exclaimed before Beth could yell at me for what I did. "Come on."

Beth and I walked out of the Country Club and went back into the woods, I could still hear her sobbing from time to time but after about an hour I heard nothing and I was glad because I didn't know how to deal with a crying person, especially when it's about the death of someone.

"A motorcycle mechanic," Beth suddenly exclaimed.  
"Huh?"

"That's my guess, for what you were doing before the turn. Did Zack ever guess that one?"

"It don't matter," I muttered, not wanting to think of Zack. "Hasn't mattered for a long time."  
"It's just what people talk about, you know, to feel normal."  
"Yeah, well, that never felt normal to me," I exclaimed.

I was leading Beth to a shack I had been to before. We were searching for the Governor before I gave up on the search and came across it. We had been there a few times.  
"Found this place with Cecilia and Michonne," I informed her.

A smile found its way to my lips as I remembered the expression on Cecilia's face when she saw all the alcohol in there. She even took a bottle back to the prison for a 'special occasion' or that's what she claimed. She ended up drinking it all the week after that.  
"I was expecting a liquor store," Beth told me, interrupting my train of thoughts.  
"No, this is better," I assured her.

Beth and I walked to the back of the place, where I knew the alcohol was. I had to convince Cecilia not to bring it all with her. After the night at the CDC I knew Cecilia could handle drinking a lot and I didn't want her to get drunk often. We need to be in such a good state all the time in case something goes wrong and we need to fight or run, or both.  
"What's that?" Beth asked.

"Moonshine," I told her as I handed her a basket full of filled bottles with the liquor. "Come on."

I went back to the entrance of the cottage and opened the door, the place seemed empty but I still walked in with my crossbow in hand, which I eventually leant against a wall, Beth had put the basket on the table that was in the middle of the room.  
"All right," I mumbled as I grabbed one jar and poured some of it in an empty and clean glass. "That's a real first drink right there." Beth only stared at it after I set the glass on the table. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing. It's just... my dad always said bad moonshine can make you go blind."  
"Ain't nothing worth seeing out there anymore anyway," I told her.

Beth then hesitantly grabbed the glass and took a sip. She made a face of disgust afterwards, I really wanted to laugh at her face but I stayed quiet.  
"That's the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted," she told me before she drank the rest of what I poured. "Second round's better."  
Beth tried to give me some of it but I declined her offer, I needed to be sober to take care of us, someone had to do it.

I started looking around the house for things that I could use to cover the windows, Beth joined me a couple of minutes later, searching for useful things like a knife or gun but I knew there was nothing in here. Michonne, Cecilia and I searched the entire place the first time we were here.

"Who'd go into a store and walk out with this?" Beth muttered with a chuckle, finding a bit pink bra sculpture, the owner used it as an ashtray.

"My dad, that's who," I emotionless told her. "He'd set those up on top of the TV set, use them as target practice.  
"He shot things inside your house?" Beth asked in disbelief.

"It was just a bunch of junk anyway," I muttered with a shrug. "That's how I knew what this place was. That shed out there, my dad had a place just like this. You got your dumpster chair, that's for sitting in and your drawers all summer drinking. Got your fancy buckets, that's for spitting chaw in after your old lady tells you to stop smoking. You got your internet," I muttered, grabbing a piece of newspaper that was on the floor.

I stood there in silence, remembering what my childhood was like, how my father used to do nothing but sit on his ass all day and my mother lightning a cigarette after another. Then I heard moaning outside, with a sign I told Beth to stay where she was. I looked out the window, which I had mostly covered with a piece of thin wood, except for a corner at the bottom.

"It's just one of 'em," I informed her.  
"Should we get it?"

"If he keeps making too much noise, yeah."  
"Well, if we're gonna be trapped again, we might as well make the best of it," Beth told me, grabbing a jar with some of the moonshine, she extended her arm to offer it to me. "Unless you're too busy chaperoning, Mr. Dixon."

I couldn't deny that I wanted to drink some as soon as I went to get that for Beth, it might make me feel better but I also knew I shouldn't do it. But now, since we were going to stay inside for a while, a bit of it wouldn't hurt, right?  
"Hell, might as well make the best of it," I muttered as I took the jar from her hand. I sat on the big and somehow comfortable love seat and opened the jar. "Home, sweet home," I mumbled before drinking, and I won't lie, it felt good.

When I finished drinking everything in that jar, Beth decided it would be fun to play a stupid drinking game. I sat on the floor, my back against the love seat and Beth sat in front of me, a small coffee table was in between us, Beth had brought more jars with moonshine and put them on the table. I just wanted to drink but Beth kept begging.

"So first I say something I've never done and if you have done it, you drink, and if you haven't, I drink, then we switch. You really don't know this game?"

"I never needed a game to get lit before," I told her.  
"Wait, are we starting?" Beth asked confused.

"How do you know this game?" I asked confused. She had never drank before so how did she even know this stupid game?

"My friends played," she told me. "I watched. Okay, I'll start. I've never shot a crossbow, so now you drink."  
"Ain't much of a game," I said, not finding it amusing or fun at all, it was lame.

"That was a warm-up," Beth assured me as I took a sip. "Now you go."

"I don't know," I muttered, trying to think but nothing came to mind.  
"Just say the first thing that pops into your head."  
"I've never been out of Georgia."  
"Really?" Beth asked surprised. "Okay, good one." Beth took a sip. "I've never been drunk and did something I regretted."  
I grabbed my jar and took a big sip from it. "I've done a lot of things," I muttered as a few things came to my mind, things I didn't want to remember.  
"Your turn."  
"I've never been on vacation."  
"What about camping?"

"No, that was just something I had to learn... to hunt."  
"Your dad teach you?"

"Mm-hmm."  
"Okay," Beth exclaimed, drinking some more. "I've never been in jail. I mean, as a prisoner." She chuckled a bit.

"Is that what you think of me?" I asked after a pause, I was more hurt than I should about her statement.

"I didn't mean anything serious. I just thought, you know, like the drunk tank, even my dad got locked up for that back in the day."  
"Drink up," I almost ordered her, in an emotionless tone.  
"Wait. Prison guard, were you a prison guard before?"

"No," I said flatly after a longer pause than the last one.  
"It's your turn again."  
"I'm gonna take a piss," I muttered, being sick of this shit already.

I stood up and took my jar in the process, walking to the end of the room. I let slip my jar, making it shattered on the floor.  
"You have to be quiet," Beth whispered to me.  
"Can't hear you! I'm taking a piss!" I yelled.

As I unzipped my pants, I could actually feel the alcohol kicking in strong, I got dizzy for a second but I was also getting to a point where I didn't give a shit anymore, to the point where I couldn't be bothered with Beth and her bullshit anymore. I was trying to be nice because of all the things she had gone through but now that I think about it, I went and still going through hell as well.

"Daryl, don't talk so loud."  
"What, are you my chaperone now?" I asked loudly as I peed. I slightly turned my head to look at her. She turned to look the other way, she seemed really uncomfortable with the situation but I didn't give a damn, not anymore. I finished, zipped my pants and turn to face her. "Oh, wait. It's my turn, right? I've never – never eaten frozen yogurt, never had a pet pony, never got nothing from Santa Claus," I exclaimed as I forcefully pushed a chair. "Never relied on anyone for protection before. Hell, I don't think I've ever relied on anyone for anything."  
"Daryl."  
"Never sung out in front of a big group out in public like everything was fun," I continued my ranting as I angrily paced across the room. "Like everything was a big game, I sure as hell never cut my wrists looking for attention," I exclaimed, doing with my hands like I was cutting myself.

When I said that I even got angrier at her, remembering it was her who tried to manipulate Cecilia to get her to kill herself with her, after everything I did for Cecilia. Beth almost threw all that to the garbage. I almost died trying to find Cecilia and Beth then tries to get her to kill herself, instead of talking her out of it. I was going to speak my mind about that when I heard the walker that I had seen earlier starting to bang the back door and snarling loudly.  
"Sounds like our friend out there is trying to call all of his buddies," I yelled, kicking a bucket.  
"Daryl, just shut up!"  
"Hey, you never shot a crossbow before?" I exclaimed as I grabbed my crossbow and pointed at the blonde girl. "I'm gonna teach you right now."

I walked to the other side of the room, towards Beth. I got to grab her thin wrist, and I did it really tightly and forcefully pulled her to her feet and dragged her to the door. She tried to resist but I was way too strong.

"Come on! It's gonna be fun!"  
"We should stay inside," Beth exclaimed as she tried to break free from my grip but there was no luck for her. "Daryl, cut it out! Daryl!"

We went down the stairs of the porch and immediately saw the walker in front of a window, behind a bush. As soon as it saw and heard us, it started walking towards us.

"Dumbass, come here, dumbass!"

I waited for the right moment to shoot. When I did, the arrow went through its chest, pinning it to the tree trunk behind him, right like I wanted.

"You want to shoot?"

"I don't know how," Beth exclaimed nervously.  
"Oh, it's easy."

I wrapped my arm around Beth's collarbones, she tried to resist but she couldn't. I aimed my crossbow with my other hand and shot at the walker. I let go of her to load my crossbow again.  
"Just stop it. Daryl!" she yelled at me.

I grabbed her again from behind, this time I had my arm around her neck, she put her hands on it to stop me from holding her too tightly. I steadied my right hand and shot again, even when I was drunk and holding Beth, I had perfect aim.  
"Just kill it!" Beth exclaimed when this third arrow went right through the middle of its chest.

"Come here, Greene. Let's pull these out. Get a little more target practice."

Before I could pull the first arrow, Beth rushed to the walker and stabbed him in its forehead with her knife. That made me really upset, made my blood boil even more.  
"What the hell you do that for? I was having fun!" I exclaimed angrily.  
"No, you were being a jackass! If anyone found my dad –"

"Don't!" I exclaimed quickly. "That ain't remotely the same."

"Killing them is not supposed to be fun!"  
"What do you want from me, girl, huh?" I yelled even louder, finally asking the question I should have asked since the beginning.

"I want you to stop acting like you don't give a crap about anything, like nothing we went through matters, like none of the people we lost meant anything to you. It's bullshit!"

"Is that what you think?" I asked in a normal tone now, I was actually offended she thought I didn't care about Cecilia... about Rick, Carl, Little Ass-kicker, her dad.

"That's what I know."  
"You don't know nothing," I spat.  
"I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl. I'm not Michonne. I'm not Cecilia. I'm not Carol. I'm not Maggie. I've survived and you don't get it 'cause I'm not like you or them, but I made it and you don't get to treat me like crap just because you're afraid."  
"I ain't afraid of nothing," I spat again right in her face.

That was probably the biggest lie I had ever told. I was more than scared about not finding Cecilia ever again. I knew she was alive, somewhere because of the signs I got but... that wasn't a guarantee that she was going to be alive for a whole year or even by the end of the week, or if I ever was going to find her again. Beth hadn't had someone like that so she couldn't understand my situation. She had had boyfriends but she wasn't with them for more than a few months, they were mostly a hobbie for her, not love.  
"I remember," she said suddenly. "When that little girl came out of the barn after my mum, you were like me. Or when Cecilia went missing a few days later. You think nobody noticed but everyone could tell, when Cecilia came back you were brought to life again and now she's gone again... now... God forbid you to ever let anybody else get too close."  
"Too close, huh? You know all about that. You lost two boyfriends, you can't even shed a tear. Your whole family's gone, all you can do is just go out looking for hooch like some dumb college bitch," I exclaimed, being at the verge of tears.  
"Screw you! You don't get it."  
"No, you don't get it!" I yelled. "Everyone we know is dead!"

"You don't know that!"

"Might as well be, 'cause you ain't never gonna see 'em again." That seemed to finally made her see reality how it is, she took a deep breath trying hard not to cry. "Rick. You ain't never gonna see Maggie again."  
"Daryl, just stop."  
"No!"

Beth tried to grab my hands, probably to take me back inside but I jerked them away quickly, turning around so now my back was facing Beth.

"The Governor rolled right up to our gates," I exclaimed, my voice was still loud but not as loud. "Maybe if I wouldn't have stopped looking, all of us, Cecilia... Maybe 'cause I gave up. That's on me," I exclaimed as I pointed at myself, at my chest.  
"Daryl!"

"I should have kept her safe." I didn't say her name but I knew Beth knew I was talking about Cecilia. "I promised her and I failed. It's all my fault if she dies!"

Beth tried to grab me again but I just jerked my arm away again. Memories of that day flashed through my head. I remembered seeing Cecilia standing right in front of that man, next to Rick. I remembered when she ran away from the chaos, hiding behind the bus so she wouldn't get shot... that was the last time I ever saw her. Then the awful image of Hershel being...  
"And your dad..." I muttered after I took deep breaths to calm myself down. "Maybe... maybe I could have done something."

Suddenly I felt Beth's arms around me, hugging me from behind. I tried to break free at first but Beth only tightened her grip on me. And that's when I finally lost it. I had kept all my emotions inside until this very moment that I was incapable of stopping crying. I just... broke down in Beth's arms. The only times I had been this inconsolable was when I had to kill Merle's walker form, that time Cecilia comforted me and when I thought Cecilia was dead, and I made sure nobody saw me like that.

At first I felt weak, exposed and ashamed but later it actually felt good to get it all out, to have Beth here to comfort me. I wasn't sure how long I cried, how long I poured out my emotions but when I was done I was exhausted.

I awkwardly made Beth let go of me and slowly walked inside the cottage, sitting on the love seat once again. I allowed myself to take a really needed nap.

A few hours later when I woke up, I was starting to get a hangover, and honestly I was too down and sad to sober up, so I just grabbed more moonshine and started to drink a bit more. I was calm now, crying and getting my emotions out helped a lot, I felt so much better.

"I get why my dad stopped drinking," Beth told me.

We were out, sitting on the porch, just enjoying this quiet time without walkers. It was dark and there was a full moon in the sky, it was my idea to get out of the house, Beth didn't feel so comfortable with the idea but she eventually agreed. I wanted to watch the night sky, the moon, the stars, and somehow I felt like somewhere, Cecilia was looking at them too.  
"You feel sick?" I asked her.

"Nope. I wish I could feel like this all the time. That's bad."  
"Hmm. You're lucky you're a happy drunk," I muttered, turning to look at her. It was weird when I was a happy drunk, I was mostly an angry or gloomy drunk.  
"Yeah, I'm lucky, some people can be real jerks when they drink."  
"Yeah, I'm a dick when I'm drunk," I said, getting the indirect. I started playing with my knife, grasshoppers could be heard in the distance.

I turned to look at Beth and told her a story about Merle's dealer. We were all drunk, Merle started making fun of the show on TV about a talking dog, it was the dealer's kids' favourite show. They even pulled out their guns because of that. The man lost it because he never saw his kids, he got sentimental plus the alcohol, made him violent. Both of them forgot the whole thing when the man punched me in the gut and I puked. They laughed and got over it.

"You want to know what I was before all this?" I asked Beth after I finished the story. "I was just drifting around with Merle, doing whatever he said we were gonna be doing that day. I was a nobody. Nothing. Some redneck asshole and an even bigger asshole for a brother."  
I would probably not tell Beth that if I hadn't drunk, I was ashamed of it. I had never told anyone except Cecilia, of course, how much of a nobody I was, even though she kept insisting I was never a nobody but I really was. No job, no family, no wife, no nothing, not even a dog for company. Just Merle and my crossbow, that was it.

"You miss him, don't you?" Beth said, I looked down at the floor. He was my brother, of course I missed him. "I miss Maggie. I miss her bossing me around," she said, slightly chuckling. "I miss my big brother Shawn. He was so annoying and overprotective." She chuckled again. "And my dad. I thought... I hoped he'd just live the rest of his life in peace, you know? I thought Maggie and Glenn would have a baby, and he'd get to be a grandpa. Hell, I even thought you and Cecilia would have a baby and things with Carol would be finally okay and that those babies would be friends with Judith," she exclaimed with a small smile as she once again chuckled a bit.

That actually made my heart warm up a bit because as she said it, I perfectly but unconsciously pictured it in my head. A blonde female toddler, playing with two younger ones, a boy with dark hair and Asian-looking green eyes, and a blue-eyed, blonde little girl. I didn't know why I instantly imagined my kid as a girl, especially when all my life I said that if I ever had a kid, which was very unprovable, it would be a boy.

In my make-believe scene, Hershel was there, laughing at his grandson's failed attempts at walking and Carol was there too, she had an arm around Cecilia's shoulder and both had huge smile on their faces. I was next to Rick, both of us were laughing at Judith, who was around three, she was trying to help the younger two. The boy kept trying and falling on his butt, the little girl tried a few times before she gave up and crawled instead. I was on my knees, with my arms wide opened, being ready to catch her but she just wouldn't bother anymore. I got to my feet as I laughed at her laziness and picked her up from the grass.

I turned to look at Cecilia, who looked more beautiful than ever, the wind made her long blonde hair go in every direction. Carol whispered something to her before she went to talk to Hershel. She looked at me and I smiled when our eyes met. I made my way to her as I held our daughter with my left hand, she was playing and slightly pulling a strand of my long hair. My smile widened as I got closer to Cecilia, she smiled back at me just before I softly pressed my lips against hers.

"And we'd have birthdays and holidays and summer picnics," Beth continued, breaking my train of thoughts, which had progressed quite a lot, I shook my head, that thought seemed so real, I got lost in it, I must admit it was so nice. "And he'd get really old and it'd happen, but it'd be quiet. It'd be okay. He'd be surrounded by people he loved." Beth made a pause before she chuckled even more but this time she looked like she was about to cry. "That's how unbelievably stupid I am," she said, her voice finally breaking as her eyes filled with tears. She quickly grabbed a jar and drank.  
"That's how it was supposed to be," I told her, knowing that I also had hopes and dreams, not only about Cecilia and I, not just about the two of us, but all of us, every single person in that prison.  
"I wish I could just... change."  
"You did."  
"Not enough. Not like you, it's like you were made for how things are now."  
"I'm just used to it, things being ugly. Growing up in a place like this," I muttered, looking around.  
"Well, you got away from it."  
"I didn't."  
"You did," she exclaimed, as if she was sure of that.  
"Maybe you got to keep on reminding me sometimes."  
"No. You can't depend on anybody for anything, right?" Neither of us said anything for a long while, I had no idea what to say. "I'll be gone someday."  
"Stop," I exclaimed quickly.  
"I will," she stated, she didn't look scared about what she was saying, like if she had accepted her death already. "You're gonna be the last man standing." I just kept my mouth shut, not believing a word she was saying. I was good but not that good. Besides, as proven days ago, you can deal with walkers but there are not many things to do with humans. "You are!" Still, I said nothing, I wasn't sure what I should said, so another long silence followed, and again Beth broke it. "You're gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone, Daryl Dixon."  
"You ain't a happy drunk at all," I exclaimed.  
"Yeah, I'm happy, I'm just not blind," she told me. "You got to stay who you are, not who you were. Places like this, you have to put it away."  
"What if you can't?" I muttered as I looked from her to the sky.

"You have to. Or it kills you," she said.

None of us said nothing for another long while. I really wasn't sure if I was able to let go of my past, I always thought it would hunt me for the rest of my life. Not even with Cecilia I ever believed I would just let it go, I had progressed a lot thanks to her, I allowed myself to love and be loved, something I never thought I was capable of, but there were still so many obstacles to bring down.  
"Here," Beth said with a smile as she pointed at her heart.  
"We should go inside," I muttered, looking away from her once again. She said nothing so I turned to look at her and she had mischievous smile on her lips.  
"We should burn it down," she suggested and as she did, her smile just got even bigger.

I stood up, saying nothing. I grabbed my jar of moonshine and walked to the door, her smiled slightly fell. I knew why she wanted to burn it down, in a symbolic way so I could get let go of my past since this place was so similar to my house as a kid. I stopped by the door and turned to look at her.

"We're gonna need more booze," I muttered, making her smile again.

I walked inside, followed closely by Beth. I grabbed the biggest jar of moonshine, untapped it and started to pour down the contents all over the place. Beth wasted no time to do the same. Once that thing was empty, I threw it at the floor in a careless way.

I grabbed another jar and repeated the process until there were only four small full jars left. We decided to save those, not only to get drunk but also if someone cuts themselves with something, we could need the alcohol later.

I grabbed my crossbow, put the strap over my shoulder, and got the plastic bag with the four jars of moonshine and other things we had, I also checked if I had the three pictures in my pocket, once I made sure the three were there, Beth and I walked out of that place together. I looked inside my pocket, where I had the pack of cigarettes and a lighter that I found in that house, where one of the girls that lived there back in the day was called Cecilia.

"You wanna?" I asked Beth, handing her the lighter.

"Hell, yeah."

She took it in her hands as I took out one of the stashes of money I had found and grabbed at the Country Club, she set it on fire. I waited a bit before I threw the burning money at the small shack, which instantly caught up in flames. I grabbed the plastic bag again, which I had left on the ground and Beth and I walked some feet away from the now big fire.

Beth and I stopped and turned to look at what we had just done. Beth suddenly raised her hand, with her middle finger up in the air, she had a big smile on her lips, while I just continued to look at the fire. She noticed I was doing nothing but stare, so she elbowed me and silently told me with her eyes to do the same. I took a deep breath before raising my left hand, middle finger up, and I was quite surprised because it felt good, it was stupid and childish and crazy but it made me feel good, at peace, like if I had actually burnt and buried stuff from my past.

We stayed like that for maybe another two minutes, until we slowly let our arms fall down to our sides. Walkers were starting to approach the place, being attracted by the light of the fire and all the noise we made when we shattered the jars. I slightly touch Beth's forearm, to tell her we needed to go. She took one last glance at it before she turned around and walked away, being closely followed behind by me. I unconsciously smiled as I made my way away from that place.

I admit it probably was really stupid, since now we were back in the woods, having no place to stay during the night but I also admit it was more than worth it.

QOTD: Who misses Beth?

Guys, I've had a couple of rough days, this week so far has sucked big time. I've had some issues with my sport and the people in charge and at the moment I'm not even pissed, I'm just can't be bothered with them anymore, they've done too much to me and this time instead of getting mad I got disappointed and I feel like I shouldn't really care.

But guess what? This saturday I will be going to USA with my mum and grandmother, I am really looking forward, I need this sort of break, and I'm super excited. So, I won't be posting next week, I might post this friday to make it up to you but I'm still not sure.

Anyway, hoped you enjoy the chapter and tell me your thoughts about it :)


	26. Chapter 26 - Memories

"I held her gaze as I held her in my arms.  
With all that holding I couldn't hold on to the moment, and it slipped past me into the lonely past."  
? Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

– Several Months Ago – CDC –

I knew things were bad but still I believed there was some kind of answer, there should be one but Jenner here just told us the world had gone to shit and they had no idea why or how it happened and most importantly, how to fix it.  
"Man, I'm gonna get so faced drunk," I muttered as I ran my hands through my face and hair and started to walk away. "Again."  
As I walked out I heard Dale asking about a clock that was going backwards but I didn't stay long enough to hear the answer. Instead, I headed to the kitchen and grabbed two sealed bottles of wine, which was the only alcoholic beverage around here, it wouldn't be my first choice but it was better than nothing.

With the two bottles in my hands I walked back to my room, Cecilia's bag was on the way, some of her things were already on the floor. I tried not to step on them and made my way to the couch, I sat down and opened the first bottle, leaving the other on the floor next to the couch.

I contemplated life and what had become of it as I started to drink. I didn't have much of a life a few weeks ago but at least I was safe, I didn't have to run and hide like a rat.

About twenty minutes later I heard the door being opened, I glanced at the direction quickly and saw Cecilia walking in. Before she could see me looking at her, I looked away and took a sip instead.

"Can I have some?" she asked me. I looked up at the girl and saw nothing but disappointment in those blue eyes of her, she looked crushed. I said nothing to her, I just brought the bottle to my lips and took a big sip from it, I heard her sigh at me as she sat in front of me on the cot I used to sleep the night before "What's your problem?"

"You are!" I said raising my voice a bit. She didn't flinch or even blinked, she just stayed there, staring at me, anyone would have at least gotten a bit farther from me. "You are just so annoying! Why don't you just leave me alone!?"

"What the hell are you talking about? We were okay last night, you brought me here, what changed?"  
"I was just drunk!" I muttered with a slight shrug and took another sip.

"Go to hell!"

"I'm already in hell!" I exclaimed. "Why don't you just go with your friends or that kid, Sean? Just bugger off!"

I seriously wondered why she was here with me when she had those friends she claimed she couldn't live without and Glenn and her family and apparently she also had that idiot for a boyfriend, that Sean that believes he's the best at anything and the most handsome guy in the group, when he can't even hold a gun right.

"Is that what this is about?" she asked me in a calm tone again as she looked at me with an eyebrow raised at me. "Are you jealous?"

I almost chocked on the wine when I heard that. I had been told and been incriminated of many things but being jealous was never one of them, this was the first time I had ever heard that. I would have laughed in her face at her stupidity but I was too depressed for that.

"What?"

"Jealous." I heard her say again. "Of me and Sean."  
"You are not just stupid but crazy as well, you are making up things in your head" I exclaimed as I looked her right in the eye as I pointed at my temple. I could swear I saw a flick of hurt in her eyes but I ignored it. "Why would I be jealous of him?"

"I regret it, you know?" she suddenly told me in a very casual way, like if I was her best friend that needed to hear the gossip. "I don't want to give him fake hope on something that will never happen. He might be handsome and all but I'm not really into him and even if I were, now is not the time for that kind of stuff."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked her in a very soft tone, I couldn't believe she was telling me this. "I don't give a fuck about your love story."

"You are the only one here." She shrugged. "Want to give me some of that now? I just found out there is no hope left and I am really not in the mood to hear you shouting at me for no damn reason. I just need a drink and forget all of this."

I was a bit taken by surprise when she angrily raised her voice, so far, no one in the group has even tried to stand up to me or Merle, they always just keep their distance but not her, she didn't even seem a bit scared or intimidated by me and it made me wonder the reason why. She had an abusive father, we all knew about Ed, but that couldn't be it, there must be something else that made her this way.

I looked at her wondering if giving her the bottle was a good idea, she was really upset and I didn't want her to get too drunk, I didn't even know why I cared, maybe because it was my wine and I didn't want her to drink it all, nevertheless I handed her the now half-empty bottle and she took a really big sip from it. I saw her closing her eyes for a second as she felt the alcohol down her throat just before she drank more.

I took the bottle from her hands and drank a bit from it. She said nothing else and I didn't either, we just passed the bottle to the other until we finished it. I turned to grab the second bottle as Cecilia sat next to me on the couch. I put the bottle between my legs as I started to open it.

"Here, let me help you," she slurred as she put her hands on the bottle, slightly touching my hands, leaving them there.

I turned to look at her, by now most of the anger was gone. She still looked crushed and really upset at the situation, without thinking I put my hand on her shoulders, I didn't want to keep seeing her so sad. She looked up and our eyes met, she smiled at me but I could tell it was fake, her eyes showed how down she actually felt. I sighed and moved my hand to her left cheek, softly caressing it. She put her hand on top of my other hand and gave it a squeeze, I was actually surprised she didn't push me away or freaked out, she actually surprised me even more when she grabbed the bottle, threw it to the side of the couch and hugged me.

"It's gonna be okay," I mumbled as I slowly hugged her back. Maybe it was the alcohol because I was sure I wouldn't hug her or let her hug me in other circumstances and I was as hell sure that she would never hug me while sober.

She pulled away and offered me a smile, this time I could tell it was real even when she still looked sad. Slowly I felt myself leaning in, like if some invisible force was pulling me in, closer to her. I closed my eyes and soon after that I felt her soft, warm lips on mine. Suddenly, I felt something like an electric shock going from my lips to the rest of my body, something I had never felt when I had kissed someone else, it actually felt good in a strange way.

We both pulled away but still our faces were only a couple of inches away, this time it was her who closed the distance between us and pressed her lips against mine and I didn't complain, I actually kissed her back. A part of me knew it was wrong, she was so young, but it felt so right. I ignored those thoughts and deepened the kiss, I brought my hands to her face and softly cupped her face with my big hands and seconds later I felt her own hands pressing against my chest. Our lips were moving in sync as the both of us found ourselves lying down, until her back was on the couch and I was on top of her. This kiss was urgent, the two of us pouring our emotions out into the kiss. I moved one of my hands next to her side to support some of my weight as I kept stroking her face with my other hand. She wrapped her arms around my neck, bringing me even closer to her.

We broke the kiss and I sat up, I was straddling her but for some reason I didn't felt ashamed or awkward about it, and she didn't either. She had a grin on her face, still without a word being spoken, she grabbed the bottle and opened it, taking a sip from it. She handed it to me and then moved closer to the edge of the couch, motioning me to lie down next to her. I drank some wine before doing so, we fit in the couch but we were a bit tight.

She rolled over her side after she took a very big sip from the bottle, she grinned as she looked up at me. By now, my arm was beneath her head and we were almost cuddling. I tilted my head a bit and pecked her lips, which now tasted like wine. It was like I couldn't get enough of her, I just couldn't stay away and it looked like she couldn't either. She smiled at my action before she kissed me again. I had brought one of my hands to her hair, playing with it, when we heard four different voices outside in the hallway, one belonged to her mother.

The two of us immediately stopped kissing, we sat up a bit far from the other and pretended nothing had happened, she just grabbed the bottle, which we had left on the floor, and drank some more of it. Luckily, no one walked in but we didn't kiss again.

"Is it just me or has it got a bit … hotter?" I asked about a minute later. I turned to look at her and by her expression I could tell she believed I was referring to what we had been doing and for a moment I actually believed that was why I felt like the temperature had gone up. Nevertheless, I stood up and raised my hand to the air vent, and I realized it wasn't working. "Well, for sure it isn't just me."

I sat down next to her, I was glad none of us felt awkward about it now. She started a conversation, a drunken one, that is, though. Some minutes later the lights went a bit dimmer, interrupting our chat. We could also hear people outside talking in the hallway, apparently it wasn't just our air vent and lights that had stopped working.

Cecilia looked a bit concerned and I was too but I hoped my worries weren't showing in my face. I grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze in a reassuring way. She flashed me a smile and nodded at me. She leant in and pressed her lips against mine one more time, I let myself give in and kissed her back. I really didn't want to check what was wrong but I knew I had to. I broke the kiss but I had to peck her lips one last time before I stood up.

"I knew your were jealous," she whispered, or at least that's what I thought I heard. I turned my head and glanced at her, she was just raising the bottle to her lips and drinking what was left of the wine, which wasn't much, but she finished it.

I said nothing to her, I wasn't even sure if what I heard was right. I just shook my head and ignored it, and resumed walking and opened the door of our room, and that's when everything went down hill.

The following morning, I was sat on the hard ground, my back against a tree. We hadn't slept all night and we didn't stop walking until daytime. I had my eyes closed at the moment but I wasn't sleeping, I was just remembering stuff, like our very first kiss, back at the CDC, the kiss Cecilia doesn't remember.

Beth was in front of me, pacing. She was still high from what we did hours ago, I was starting to get tired and a bit sleepy by now while Beth was kind of hyperactive.

I drank some water from one of the last bottles of water we had, before offering it to Beth. She took a quick sip before putting it back inside the plastic black bag. I buried my hand in my pocket and felt the pictures there, a smile found its way to my lips instantly. I took them out, crossed my legs, getting into a more comfortable position and looked at them, taking my time to appreciate every little detail of each picture of the three I had.

This time, because of the light, I could see the dimple on Cecilia's cheek that comes out to the surface whenever she smiles for real, when she fakes smile I know she's faking because there is no dimple showing, I had never told her why I know when she fakes it and I probably will never tell her... well, that is if I find her.

"Can I see them?" Beth asked shyly, kneeling in front of me.

"Sure," I said, handing her the pictures. She crawled closer to me, sitting on the step right on my left side.

"Tell me about this picture," Beth said. I looked down at the picture and smiled.

"That's the last picture we took of ourselves," I told her. "It was after I proposed to her."

"Yeah, I can see the ring on her finger," she muttered. "What about this one?"

"Well, that's our first picture, Rick took it. We almost never slept together at that time and we did it that night, Rick looked for Cecilia to return the camera and he took the picture when we were sleeping."

"And this?" Beth asked, showing me the last picture even when I didn't need to see it.

"She wanted a funny picture," I said, I smiled as I remembered how much she begged me to do a funny face but I still didn't.

"Even when you aren't smiling, the two of you look happy."

"There were other three pictures, but I only found these two," I told her, pointing at two of the pictures, the funny selfie and the one where she was hugging me from behind and her ring showed. "This one," I said pointing to the one where we were sleeping. "I always bring with me, always."

"How were the other pictures?"

"I would have to show you. One was of us together, in the middle of the courtyard, laughing. The other is of us too," I said, not giving any details about it. "Then there's the group picture."

"Oh, I remember," Beth said happily. "I wish I could see that picture again, see Maggie again. You are lucky you have these pictures."

"I know, I keep them safe as if they were the most valuable treasure I have."

"They are."

Beth handed me the pictures and I put them back safely in my pocket. I sighed and stood up. I was tired yes but we couldn't stay here, we needed to find another good place to stay and if possible, more food and water, especially water.

So, the rest of the morning was spent trying to find a place where to sleep, around midday we found a very small cottage. We ate our breakfast/lunch there, we found some tuna cans and we also grabbed even more clothes. The sweater Beth had was too thin and the two shirts I had gotten from the house didn't really warm me up so I got a leather jacket from here and another trousers.

We also got a backpack, the plastic bag I had already had too many holes in it and it was just a miracle that it hadn't ripped completely yet, especially when we had heavy things inside of it.

I really needed to sleep for a few hours, same as Beth, so we decided to stay for a while. I offered to sleep first, so I would be awake by night time. Beth agreed. We spent two nights in that place, we needed to move, needed to go somewhere else.

"We have to leave tomorrow, you know that, right?" I muttered after our first night there.

"I do."

"I need to look for Cecilia," I told her. I took a deep breath then, looking down at the ground. "I got a sign."

"What do you mean?"

"I asked for a sign if she was alive, seconds later I saw a shooting star and still I just couldn't accept it. I thought it was just a coincidence, so I asked for a second sign," I said. "The next day we went into those houses to look for food and supplies, in the house where I found the gun I gave you, lived a girl named Cecilia. I read her name in an article she had on her wall. That was my second sign, so I know she's alive and I need to find her."

"That's really amazing, Daryl. Why didn't you tell me before?" I just shrugged at her. "Well, I need to look for Maggie too, so we both have people to find."

"Do you want to shoot the crossbow?" I asked as I looked down at the blonde. Her smile vanished, I knew she remembered last time I actually forced her to use it. "I'll be nice this time, I promise."

Hesitantly, she nodded and grabbed the hand I offered her, and then pulled her to her feet. First, I handed her the crossbow and showed her how to place her hands on it and how to hold it. I already had practice being a teacher, when I taught Cecilia I had no idea how to do it, besides, with Beth it was easier since she was right-handed like me.

Minutes later we found a set of tracks, I could tell they were from a single walker. I told her to follow those tracks and let her have my crossbow as we walked, I had my knife in my hand just in case.

"Are we close?" Beth asked me about fifteen minutes later.

"Almost done," I said.  
"How do you know?"

"The signs are all there," I told her. "Just got to know how to read 'em."  
That's one thing Cecilia could never learn, I tried to show her how to track but it didn't matter how much I tried to teach her, she just couldn't.

"But, what are we tracking?" she asked me.

"You tell me," I said, making Beth lower the crossbow and she turned to look at me, I was behind her. "You're the one who wanted to learn."

I decided to use another tactic this time. I always told Cecilia where the tracks were and what left them there, I just ordered her to follow them in the direction they had gone, she had a hard time even with that.  
"Well, something came through here," Beth told me. "The pattern is all zig-zaggy. It's a walker."  
"Maybe it's a drunk," I said as I brought my fingers to my chin, in a thoughtful way.

"I'm getting good at this," Beth exclaimed with a big smile. "Pretty soon I won't need you at all."  
"Yeah, keep on tracking," I just muttered.

Soon we found the walker that left those footsteps on the ground. It was kneeling on the ground and it was feeding.

"It's got a gun," Beth told me.

I nodded at her to do it. She raised the crossbow and slowly walked forwards, I followed her close behind at first but then stayed a few steps behind. Suddenly, when I thought nothing could go wrong, I heard her yelped out in pain and she fell down to the ground. The walker turned around, letting go of whatever it was eating. As I saw that I quickly ran to the scene, I took the crossbow from Beth's hands after she tried to shoot it, but missed the target.

I ran to the walker with my weapon in hand and instead of shooting another arrow, there was no time to reload the crossbow, I just hit it with the big weapon and that was enough to kill it. I let the crossbow fall to the ground and I rushed to Beth, who was still on the ground. I freed her foot from an animal trap, so that was the problem.

"Can you move it?" I asked her. I let go of her foot and allowed her to move it. She tried to move it from side to side and I could tell that was painful for her.

"Yeah."  
After we made sure her foot wasn't broken, I helped her up, she couldn't walk well so I put an arm around her waist and ordered her to put hers around my shoulders. She hesitated at first but she eventually did it, we were going at a slow pace but there was nothing else we could do, I couldn't just leave her.

A couple of hours later we finally got out of the woods and we came across a small graveyard, a large house was at the end of it. Beth let go of me and asked me to make a small break. I decided then that I could carry her, I didn't want to lose any more time. I put the crossbow's strap over my shoulders, stepped in front of Beth and slightly bent my knees.

"Hop on."  
"Are you serious?" Beth asked me in a skeptical tone.

"Yeah, this is a serious piggyback. Jump up."

After a few seconds of hesitation, Beth finally jumped on my back, I put my hands under her thighs to support her weight as she wrapped her arms around my neck and honestly, I really didn't expect her to weigh so much. Cecilia is taller than her but I'm pretty sure she weighs less than Beth.  
"You're heavier than you look," I commented as I started walking.

"Maybe there are people there," Beth said, looking at the house.  
"Yeah, if there are, I'll handle them."  
"There are still good people, Daryl."

"I don't think the good ones survive."

Even though it's more exhausting to carry her, we were advancing quicker than when she was walking, which I was glad about. If we couldn't stay in that house, we needed to find another place quickly if we didn't want to spend the night outside in the open. Suddenly Beth let go of me and I noticed she was staring at something, I looked at it and saw a grave with the words 'Beloved Father' on it. Luckily there were some flowers behind us, I picked some and put them on top of the grave. I know Hershel is not there but it still felt right to do it.

As we stared at the grave in complete silence I felt her hand rubbing against mine, I paid no attention at first but I almost freaked out when I felt her intertwining our fingers together, I wanted to pull away but I knew things would get awkward between us and she was so sensible right now, I just went along with it, even when it felt so wrong and so bad.

Soon I let go of her hand and told her to hop on me again, at first she looked a bit hurt I let go of her hand but she knew we had to go, so I carried her all the way to the house. Once there I set her down and opened the door as I loudly tapped the wall and even whistled but apparently no walkers were inside. Soon we noticed the house was pretty clean, too clean, meaning someone had been here recently and that person could still be around.

Together we searched all the house, there were a few corpses there but all of them had been applied make-up and they were wearing nice clothes, someone actually bothered to do that. I thought it was stupid and a waste of time but Beth believed it was 'beautiful'.

What I found beautiful was the amount of food we found in the kitchen, there was soda, peanut butter, jelly, water plus some other things. I realized there was no dust on them so we agreed to only have some, it wouldn't be fair for the people who gathered all of this. I grabbed a jar of grape jelly and stuck my finger inside, not bothering to look for a spoon or something else, I was starving.

After I ate almost half of it plus some peanut butter, I went outside and set tripwires so they would alert us if someone, dead or alive, got near the house, later I checked if all the windows and doors were closed and fortunately they all were, some even had pieces of woods nailed to the windows, this place was alright for now.

By dusk, I was ready to go to bed and have a deserved sleep. I walked to one of the rooms, where I found Beth playing the piano. I walked in and sat on the coffin there, Beth just looked at me as if I was crazy.

"What are you doing?"

"This is the comfiest bed I've had in years," I told her, it was almost not fair that the dead had such a comfortable place to lie on when we, the living, were sleeping on the hard cold ground.  
"Really?"

"I ain't kidding," I said, even before the outbreak my bed was several years old and was uneven, giving me severe back pains. "Why don't you go ahead and play some more? Keep singing."  
"I thought my singing annoyed you," she told me.  
"There ain't no jukebox, so..."

With a smile, Beth turned around and started playing again, as she sang and played the piano, I couldn't help but think of the group. Rick, Carl, Little Ass-Kicker, Maggie, Cecilia, Michonne, Glenn and everybody else, even my dreams were filled with them.

Beth and I had stayed longer than expected, two more days had passed and whoever lived here hadn't come back and Beth's foot was still swollen and she was limping, there was no way we could leave yet, unless I wanted to carry her the whole time or being caught up with walkers. It would be crazy if we leave now and it felt good to be in a proper house with food and water, even if it was surrounded by a graveyard and there were corpses inside the house, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to stay, at least for a few more days. I could deal with thumbs and corpses.

For some reason I was in a very good mood today but Beth was kind of gloomy, she broke down earlier today, her sobs woke me up and she had been extremely quiet all day.

We had been on our own today, I went to the kitchen because I was getting hungry, it was around lunch time, when I found Beth there, but she wasn't eating, she was drinking some of the moonshine we got from the shack. I sighed at her.

"You shouldn't do it that often," I exclaimed as I stood next to her. The jar of moonshine was almost empty.

Beth said nothing to me, she didn't even look up at me. I sighed once again and sat on the chair, grabbing the peanut butter jar that we had eaten from earlier this morning. Suddenly I heard her sobbing once again, I tried to ignore her but she only cried harder.

"I miss them," Beth muttered as she wiped some of her tears. "My sister... I don't even know if she's alive."

I didn't know what to say to make her feel better, truth was that Maggie could be dead right now, as everybody else, for all we knew we could be the last members of our group alive but I couldn't tell her that at the moment.

Awkwardly I put my hand on her shoulder and then patted her back slightly, what else could I do? I have never been good at comforting people but somehow it seemed to work because Beth turned to look at me and flashed me a small smile before she looked away to wipe her new tears.

"Despite everything," she muttered in a hoarse voice as she looked at me again. "I'm glad you are with me."

Without warming Beth hugged me, while I just stayed frozen with the peanut butter in my hand. She unwrapped her arms around my neck but barely moved from her spot and before I knew it she had quickly kissed me on my lips.

Several thoughts crossed my mind, ninety-nine percent of them concerned Cecilia, I wasn't even sure if this was in fact happening. I could be dreaming, right? I could be hallucinating but sadly I wasn't, Beth Greene was kissing me.

I wasn't sure how much time it took me to finally react, but when I did Beth was kissing me even harder and she was raising her hands to touch my shoulders. I pushed her away forcefully and stood up. I wiped my lips with the back of my left hand as I took deep breaths to calm myself but it wasn't working.

"What the fuck Greene?" I yelled at her, looking right into her light blue eyes that in my opinion didn't show any kind of regret.

"I thought..."

"No!" I yelled interrupting her, I actually expected her to apologize, to be ashamed but she wasn't. "What the fuck?"

Beth looked down at the floor and just shrugged, but even then all she seemed to be was ashamed because she was rejected, not because she felt bad about what she did.

"I have a fiancee, Beth!" I yelled even louder as I pushed a chair, making it fall to the ground with a loud thud. "Cecilia, remember her? Just because she ain't here it doesn't mean we are not together anymore!"

"I know," she muttered. "But like you said... she isn't here and –"

"What the fuck!?" I repeated, my voice getting even louder. "She's not here but I won't be unfaithful, Beth and much less with you! I love her, can't you understand that? She's alive, she's out there and she doesn't deserve this. Hell, I thought she was your friend. How could you do this to me, to her?"

I started pacing the room as I kept muttering things under my breath. I couldn't believe what just happened. I kind of cheated on Cecilia, it wasn't my intention and I never kissed back but still.

"Daryl, I think we should just relax, we have been through so much and..." Beth muttered as she stood up and tried to approach me but I just pushed her away.

"Can't you understand? I'm fucking engaged, Beth! I love her, okay? I won't hurt her like that."

"She's not even here, you don't even know if you will ever see her again."  
My jaw clenched when I heard those words, how could she even say that? Wasn't me the negative one out of us and she was the way too positive one? What the hell happened? I was tempted to just punch her for saying that but I couldn't hit her, not even when all my being wanted to.

"This isn't you talking," I muttered as I pointed a finger right in between her eyes. "It's the alcohol, you wouldn't say any of this if it wasn't for it and just so you know I don't care if it takes me a whole lifetime to find Cecilia, I will find her even if it's the last thing I do so I suggest you to stop drinking, put your shit together and get back into your senses, don't ever, ever say I won't see her again or try to kiss me again or I'll leave you on your own."

With that, I stormed out of the room, went upstairs and locked myself in one of the rooms there. I kept wiping my lips with my hand, feeling horrible with myself.

I never saw it coming and I feel so guilty for it, maybe I could have stopped it.

Hi guys!

It's been too long and I'm sorry for that. I've had some issues, problems with the coach/training. At the moment I'm not longer part of the national team and I'm just not in the mood to deal with the world at the moment and I'm just numb... I feel nothing right now, like when the same thing happened 2 years ago, I cried everyday for a long time and this time nothing.

I also feel like my life is sort of falling apart, not just because of not being able to train at the moment but other things. It's like a big black whole is sucking me in.

Despite all that, I hope you like the chapter, I hope the wait was worth it and let me know your opinions.  
Honestly, I loved Beth until I wrote this chapter, once I did my whole perspective change! It's not the first time this happens to me. I love characters and make them a certain way in my stories and start to dislike them a lot, I think that's why I hate Hermione from HP now :P

Anyway I wish you all a happy week :)

Oh, and what do you think of Eugene? Is he pretending or he's just loyal to the highest bidder?


	27. Chapter 27 - Hard Times

"It's hard at times, but it makes a kid strong in ways that most people can't understand. Teaches them that even though people are left behind, new ones will inevitable take their place;

that every place has something good and bad to offer.

It makes a kid grow up fast."

– Nicholas Sparks, The Lucky One

Cecilia's POV

The four of us hadn't had it easy since we had to leave that house in such a hurry because of that group of men that chose the same house to use it, we had such bad luck.

"I'm cold," Carl muttered as he got even closer to me, I ran my hand up and down his arm to warm him up but it was barely working.

It had been around a week and we had spent all the time outside, mostly on the woods with the exception of one night, where we allowed ourselves to stay in a nice but messy cottage, where we found more food.

We had run into several groups of walkers making us go around mostly in circles, so we had been pretty much in the same area all this time, and maybe because of that we hadn't seen any other person, including the people from the prison.

At the moment Michonne and Rick were discussing things like the adults they are, Michonne wanted to head west while Rick wanted to go east, Michonne wanted to spend the night inside a store we passed by before dusk but Rick said it was too risky and now we are freezing out here.

"They seem like an old married couple, don't they?" I commented as I stared at the pair, who believed Carl and I had fallen asleep.

"Yeah, but with weapons," Carl said with a nod as he looked at Michonne's katana, which was in her hand. Rick had his big gun on his hand as well and anyone that didn't know them would be terrified because they would believe they would kill each other but they were just being their usual selves, none of them was in any kind of danger.

Rick and Michonne don't argue often and their arguments aren't ugly but when they happen they are long, they just keep going in circles, both are stubborn and the two of them want the best for Carl and me and both are right in their own ways.

"Do you think we will ever find a nice place to stay, like not temporarily?" he asked, looking right into my eyes. "I know, it's been only two or three weeks top but I guess I got used to have... a home, you know? I actually miss having to clean the pigs' pen and the farming stuff, much better than having to sleep on the ground and being cold."

"I know," I said sadly. "I miss it too but we had the prison and just because it's gone now it doesn't mean we won't find another place to stay."

"The thing is find it before walkers get us, before people get us." Carl whispered the last part but I heard it clearly.

"Don't talk like that. It has been rough, I know, but we can't think like that. How much time passed until you found the prison? You just stumbled upon it, something like that will happen again. There has to be somewhere else that is safe."

"I hope so and I hope we find it fast because I don't think we can last another eight months living like this," Carl told me. "We barely made it then and things weren't as bad as now and we were more than fifteen people, now it's just the four of us against the whole world."

"Well, we are hell of a team. We got the Grimes boys, the last samurai," I said with a chuckle remembering what Daryl called her when he first met her.

"And Cecilia Peletier, the female archer" Carl said with a smile. "You are right, we are the best team ever."

Fortunately the gloomy mood didn't last long and I managed to make Carl smile again, we talked about nice stuff for around an hour until the two of us fell asleep, his head resting on my shoulder and mine on top of his.

But our sleep and peace didn't last long, I was woken up before sunrise. At first I thought it was my turn to keep watch but only seconds later I heard snarling, Michonne killed around ten as the rest of us grabbed all our bags and stuff. We were followed by that big herd for around two hours straight. Believe me it's not nice to be woken up to run several miles at a kind of fast pace, my muscles and mind were not ready for it.

"Shit," I muttered as we finally took a break.

"Cecilia," Rick warmed me. I just rolled my eyes as I heavily took deep breaths.

"Well, that was a nice wake up," I said sarcastically. "We should do it every morning."

The four of us then continued at a much slower pace, making some turns in these streets, we were forced to get out of the woods by those walkers and hopefully we had lost them here.

We stopped for fifteen minutes so we could eat our breakfast and regain some strength. Carl, Michonne and I wanted to get into a house or small store and spend the rest of the day there, probably even the night but Rick still believed it was too dangerous because of what happened last time.

"We can't spend the whole winter out in the woods," Michonne told Rick.

"It's not winter yet," Rick exclaimed.

"But it's cold already," I said. "We should at least get a car so we can spend the nights there, have some kind of shelter."

"I couldn't even feel my fingers last night," Carl added. "If the walkers don't kill us, the cold will."

"Alright," Rick said, finally giving in, Carl was his weakness. "Let's just get farther from here, Cecilia and I killed two men from that group and I don't think it would be safe to be so close, so let's just keep walking for now."

I really hadn't fought about those men and the fact I did killed a man. Whenever I'm in those situations I don't even think about it, I just pull the trigger and keep on, like a switch goes off and my conscience vanishes but once I'm safe again, I'm overwhelmed by guilt and remorse. I never thought I would be a killer but so far I had killed eight people and the list could go on, thing I'm afraid of.

We continued to walk at a fast pace for several miles, we had to break into a few sprints because we bumped into four groups of walkers of more than fifteen, so the better thing to do was run instead of killing them off.

"Hey," Michonne muttered in a too friendly way, at the moment Rick and Carl were a few feet ahead of us, Carl had a smile on his face as he told Rick something.

"Hi," I said, flashing Michonne a smile but then I faced the way ahead of me again.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "Today has been a tough day but I guess we're all just used to it."

"That's not what I mean," Michonne told me. "Rick mentioned something, he said you might want to talk to me about something."

"Uh, did he say about what?" I asked, getting nervous, I knew what Rick wanted me to talk about but I played dumb.

"Not really," Michonne said, making me sigh in relief. "But he said there might be something you would want to talk to a friend... a female friend."

"Oh, well, there is nothing I need to talk about, I'm fine," I said with a fake smile.

"You sure? You can trust me, Cici. I've noticed you haven't been yourself lately."

"I guess a lot of things have happened to me lately and now with what happened to the prison, I'm just barely hanging on, you know? And I miss my mum, I miss Daryl, I miss Beth and Maggie and Glenn and Sasha and everyone else and what happened with the virus and... and Sean, I guess everything has just accumulated lately and is affecting me but I'm hanging on, I am."

"It's just that?"

"What? Do you think that's not enough?" I exclaimed.

"I think you are keeping something from me," she told me, I was going to argue with her when she spoke quickly. "But that's okay, I know how you are and you tell me things when you are ready, just like me. I understand and I want you to know, I'll be here if you need to talk."

"Okay," I muttered. "Thanks."

She nodded at me and accelerated her pace, leaving me in the very back of our group, while the guys were still on the lead. Despite our horrible day Carl had a big smile on his face and Rick kept laughing at things Carl was saying to him.

Today we had gotten farther than all the previous days combined and a part of me was glad about that, wanting to leave the prison, the house we stayed in, that group of men and everything as far as we could but I wasn't sure if we get far enough we will get too far from any other survivor. Michonne found us a few days after everything happened maybe it wasn't that impossible to find or be found by someone else, anyone.

A few hours later, before it got dark, we found a house to stay in. It looked worse than the rest around, Michonne believed that if people walked by that house would be the last one to be chosen and lucky for us the house was safe enough for us to stay for at least a night and there were no walkers inside and we found some boxes of food inside.

After we ate, Carl went upstairs, chose a bed and got under the covers. I actually was glad we had convinced Rick to not sleep out in the woods again because tonight was colder than usual.

I took first watch, I only grabbed a blanket, wrapped it around me as I stayed downstairs, while everyone else went to sleep upstairs.

Tonight was so dark, the sky was fully covered by thick clouds, covering the stars and the moon completely. As I look at the endless dark above me, I remembered that night, a very long time ago back at Hershel's farm. Daryl and I were just starting to get close, we spent all night watching the stars and the moons, I was amazed at how many could be seen because at New York all you could see was the lights from the tall buildings.

That night I was pretty upset because I had found out my mother hadn't gone out to look for me or Sophia, she let Daryl and Rick do everything she should have and Daryl felt suffocated because he had been shot and was forced to stay inside the house for two days straight or so, he wanted to go out and so did I and that night was one of my favourite memories, I wonder if Daryl still remembers it.

"I will find you, Daryl," I whispered as I kept looking at the dark sky through the window. "I promise."

I took a deep breath before I stood up and went upstairs, it was time to wake Michonne up. When I went upstairs, I headed to the master bedroom and found Rick and Michonne sleeping on the same bed. They couldn't be more apart from each other, both sleeping on the corners of the bed, trying to be as far from the other but the fact they were sleeping together made me smirk. There was one small bed next to where Carl was sleeping, still they chose to sleep together.

I softly shook Michonne to wake her up, I decided to not say anything for now about the two of them sleeping on the same bed but I was going to tomorrow or the day after and I wasn't just going to tease Michonne, I was going to tease Rick too, what I was wondering was if I should tell Carl about it, I wasn't sure what he would feel about them being together, his mother died less than a year ago so he probably wouldn't approve of his father being with another woman.

After waking her up I lied on the small bed next to Carl's. It felt so nice to be sleeping on something soft again and having thick blankets to warm you up during the night.

The four of us stayed in that house for four more days, then we spent two days out in the open again and then we found another house, we had been there for another four days and Rick already wanted to leave and find somewhere new.

"We are running out of food anyway," I muttered, supporting Rick this time.

"But we still have food for around another week," Carl said, trying to get us to stay at least one more day.

"What if we don't find food before we run out of our supplies?" Rick exclaimed. "We have to leave."

"It's not so easy finding food now," I added.

"It isn't easy finding shelter either," Carl muttered.

"But we will," Rick told him firmly. "I'll check the house next to this one and see if there's something to eat while you all pack."

"I have everything packed," I said. "I'll check another house."

Rick and I argued for a bit but he eventually gave in. The two of us walked out of the house and walked down the street, I stopped in front of the first house while Rick went to the one next to this one. I nodded at him after I knocked hard on the door and made sure there were no walkers, then I walked in.

Before I checked the kitchen, I went upstairs and carefully looked around for anything useful but all I found was a nursery and some formula, I bit my lip trying hard not to cry. I got quick flashes of Judith's bloody carrier as I looked at the room and it made it all worse that it was painted light pink, it was a girl's. There were stuffed animals everywhere, I would probably grab a few if Judith was still with us and I would get all that formula and maybe some clothes as well, maybe it was good Rick didn't searched this house like he originally planned, this would have killed him.

I sniffled, took a deep breath and closed the door slowly, then I headed to the master bedroom, still feeling really sad. This place was a mess, all the drawers were opened, the bed was messy and there were clothes all over the floor.

I took a final look around before I decided to leave without searching because someone had already done that and probably taken anything that could be useful. I turned around, with my head bent out of disappointed, facing the ground when a brown shirt caught my attention. Lots of the clothes here, if not all of them, seemed clean, except this one. Something inside of me practically pushed me to pick it up, it was probably nothing but I still grabbed it.

I held it by the collar and looked at it closely and when I did I almost had a heart attack. A part of me didn't want to believe it, maybe my mind was just making things up but this shirt looked so familiar and I knew it belonged to Daryl. Actually, it was me who found it in a store during a run, I liked it so much I grabbed it even when we weren't there for that and gave it to Daryl as a gift.

I brought the shirt close to my face and smelled it, it might be a bit disgusting especially because this shirt was really dirty and it did stink really bad but it was definitely Daryl's smell. This was his, he had been here, he didn't die back at the prison.

I fell to my knees and broke down into tears, I already was emotional because of the nursery thing so it didn't take me long to cry. I held the shirt close to me, in some way, it comforted me. Still with tears running down my face, I stood up and almost ran all the way to the kitchen, where I looked for a plastic bag. I found a white medium-sized one and put the shirt inside. There was no way I was going to leave the shirt but if I put it inside my backpack with the rest of my stuff, everything was just going to catch the smell and everything would stink too.

I didn't find any food or anything else that was worth it, Daryl probably took it all but what I found was more than enough, I had proof that Daryl was out there, alive, trying to survive and hopefully he wasn't alone. I walked out of the house with more hope than I had ever had since the prison was destroyed and as I did I saw Rick walking out of the house with a big plastic bag in his hands, seemed like he found something.

"Got four boxes of cereal, some beans cans and fruit," Rick said with a smile. "There were three trees in the garden, got oranges, apples and some bananas."

"That sounds delicious," I said with a smile that now matched Rick's. "Haven't eaten fruit in a while."

"Yeah and what did you get?"

"Uh." I bit my lip, I wasn't sure if I should tell Rick or not about my discovery.

"What?"

"Look, you might not believe me and think it's just me wanting to believe this," I started. "But I found Daryl's shirt. A brown one that I got him, I found it."

"Cecil..."

"I know... what are the odds, right? But I know, I would recognize that shirt anywhere and the sleeves are ripped out and... and it smells like him."

"It could be anyone's, you know that," Rick told me, looking at me with pity. He probably believed I was a poor girl that had started looking for signs anywhere when they really didn't exist, but they did exist.

"No, this was Daryl's, okay? I know."

"With everything that happened to you, with the..."

"Look," I said quickly. "I'm not unstable and making things up, I know it might be impossible to find him, Georgia is so big and he could be going in the opposite direction we are going but that shirt was his, he was in that house. I don't know how long ago but he was and don't look at me like that, I'm not crazy, I'm not losing my mind, I'm fine, Rick."

"Alright," he muttered with a nod, putting a hand over my shoulder.

"I know why you think I might be losing it but I'm not, I haven't even come to grips with it. I think about it and still don't believe it happened. I guess there will be a time to think about it and accept it did happen but now it's not the time. It's not the time to fall apart and mourn, not yet. What happened is what was supposed to happen and for now that works for me, okay?"

"Okay."

I turned around and started to walk back to the house, where Michonne and Carl were getting ready but I stopped and turned around again to face Rick, who hadn't moved at all, he was just looking at me with that same look of pity.

"And you don't have to get Michonne to talk to me, I hope you didn't tell her anything of what I told you the other day, I don't want her or Carl to know, or anyone else, if we find the others. If I need to talk, I'll talk to you, would that be alright?" I asked timidly.

"Of course," Rick said with a sad smile and a nod. He walked towards me and gave me a tight hug. "You can trust me, I'm just concerned about you."

"You shouldn't, I can handle it, Rick, at least for now. I just won't plump, you know? I can't allow myself to do that right now, we have to find a place to be safe, we need to focus on surviving not to worry about other stuff that aren't important right now."

"You are right, we will find some safe place and then if you want we can worry about that. We are going to talk about it more deeply and work things out," he said giving me another quick hug. "And just so you know I didn't say anything to Michonne, I promise."

"Okay," I whispered with a nod. "Let's go back, we need to leave soon."

Michonne and Carl were waiting for us in the living room with everything packed. I grabbed a second bag and with that we all left the house. This time we all walked next to each other, I walked next to Carl on my right and Michonne on my left, while Rick was next to Michonne, making small talk with her.

Unfortunately for us Rick wanted to go way too far, had to go through the woods again if we wanted to get there around a week faster, we debated but both the adults agreed on going, so even when Carl and I didn't want to get into the woods again and spend cold nights against a tree we had no choice but go.

"Cecilia?" Carl said as we sat by the fire on the second night on the woods.

"Yeah?"

"How did you see your first walker? Like, what happened?"

I looked at him a bit confused about the randomness of the question, it was so long ago I didn't even remember until now, back then I thought nothing was so bad and everything would go back to normal in a few days but of course that never happened.

"Uh, my dad wanted a couple of beers for him and some of his friends, they were watching a baseball game and nobody wanted to miss it, so my dad told me to get them some. I went to a gas station and..."

"Wait," he said quickly. "You weren't legal then, were you?"

"Fake ID," I said with a smirk and a proud shrug. "It said I was twenty-two and everyone believed it was true. Anyway, I went there and there was a big commotion two blocks down. So, I walked there and I saw what I thought it was a criminal, police were yelling at her to stop, but she kept going after them, it was weird. And other policemen were trying to get the people away, they probably knew a bit of what was happening and didn't want the public to know but the woman was getting closer to this man and he had to shoot her. I had never seen someone getting shot so I was a bit shaken by that, but then I realized the woman didn't even feel the shot, I just saw her keep walking and after several more shots I realized something was... just off. She was still alive and just as well as before she was shot."

"Were you scared?"

"No, I was just... disconcerted, I guess. All the way home I tried to find any kind of explanation to what happened, I thought maybe she had a bulletproof vest or something, or it was a scene in a movie and it wasn't real and everyone knew except me. Who would have thought that woman was dead and wanted to eat everyone there," I said. "I was hysteric when I got home, I tried to tell my parents what I saw, my father said I probably drank some of his beers and was seeing things. None of them believed me and my mum scolded me and sent me to my room because I made Sophia cry. After that I saw some videos online with similar things happening all over the country. I told Teresa and Oliver but they didn't believe something bad was happening. What about you?"

"We heard stuff on the news, I really didn't understand or care much about it but my mum was worried, especially since dad wasn't around. She called her parents and asked them to be safe, just in case. Days passed and one day my mum told me to pack some clothes that we were going on a trip but something was up by the look on her face. Shane went for us minutes later, told us something bad was happening, we needed to escape. On our way there, I saw two people attacking others, I saw one of them biting one on the arm, I thought I didn't see it clearly but now I know I did see that clearly and it wasn't just my mind."

"That must be horrible for a young boy."

"That wasn't the worst. I wanted to go for my dad, he was in the hospital in a coma. My mum said he died, so I was more affected by that than the 'violent' people on the streets."

"Want to know something?"

"Sure," he said, nodding.

"When I first met your dad, well kind of, I thought he was an idiot, I'm sorry but I did. We were in Atlanta, on that run and the city was infested with walkers, there were thousands of them and we had managed to go in unnoticed and then we heard some gunshots. Merle and I were on the rooftop making sure everything was okay outside while the others gathered supplies. The others ran to the roof, thinking Merle had shot me or something like that but it was just a man outside. He got inside a tank that conveniently was close to him and Glenn wanted to save him while all of us thought it was a suicide mission, turned out to be your dad."

Carl's expression turned from a happy one to a sad one. I thought he would be happy because Glenn was stupid and brave enough to save a stranger from many walkers but instead he looked so down, maybe it was because I mentioned Glenn.

"What is it?"

"Who went on that run, do you remember? I think I do but I'm not completely sure. You, Merle, Glenn, Andrea, T-Dog, who else?"

"Morales and Jacqui, I think it was just us."

"You realize five of them are dead, another one might be dead too and the other is next to me. That's sad."

"I know," I said sadly. "I didn't know some of them well, like T-Dog, but I truly miss Andrea and Merle and Glenn, whether he is dead or not."

"I miss them all, every one of them."  
"Uh, want to know what else happened that day?" I asked Carl, wanting to change the subject, which was upsetting us both.

"Yeah, what happened?"

"Because of your dad we couldn't leave the building and if we didn't do anything we would die soon, the doors were made of glass. So we covered some white coats with some guts and blood from a walker, we went out to the street wearing those, Glenn, your dad and me, praying it would would work and it did, we smelled like them and Glenn actually tried to snarl, now that I think about it, it was funny but that day I was so scared to find it comical. Everything was going well until it started to rain."

"No way!" Carl exclaimed. "That's so unlucky."

"I know right, it could have rained some minutes later and everything would have been fine but no. Smell washed off and we barely made it to a ban and rescued the others."

"Seemed like I missed all the fun," Carl muttered, making us both laugh, earning the attention of Rick, who was awake too, Michonne was sleeping, Carl and I should be sleeping too but we couldn't.

"Hey, what are you laughing at?" Rick asked, taking a few steps towards us. He was holding his gun tightly in his hands.

"Cecilia was just telling me about the day she met you," Carl told him with a smile.

"Oh yeah, what did you tell him?"

"About the shots that almost costed all of our lives, how Glenn saved you and the fact I thought Glenn shouldn't risk his life for you but now I'm glad he did."

"Of course." He chuckled. "Carl, you should told her how we found the prison, if that's not hard."

"No, it's okay."

Carl started telling me how Rick and Daryl just stumbled upon the prison and they just had to make it theirs. Rick ran inside the courtyard as the others shot the walkers around to keep him alive and as the story continued Rick told me that my mum was trying to help too but she almost shot Rick, I laughed at that but then a sudden wave of sadness overwhelmed but Rick and Carl kept on with the story and I allowed the sadness to go.

Before we knew it the three of us started exchanging stories, mostly about the eight months we spent apart. I found out the group stayed at an abandoned hotel for three days and Carl really enjoyed the pool during those days and there was a lot of food. I told them that I came across the meanest girl back in high school, she even said she was surprised I had made it so long, she was bit when I found her, I guess the jerks have gotten what they deserve.

"Alright guys, we should sleep. I'll do your turn," Rick told us, we usually keep guard together. "Now go to sleep and we can keep up with the stories tomorrow."

"Well, that sounds better than walking through the woods in silence all day," I said. "Hopefully you can try to get Michonne to share something with us as well."

"What, me?" Rick asked surprised.

"Why not?"

"She knows you longer and better and if you can't make her to talk, why would I?"

"I don't know," I said with a shrug and a very little smirk, I'm sure none of them noticed it. "You are somewhat persuasive, you were a cop after all, you had to make bad people telling you stuff, right?"

"Not really but.."

"I know, the detectives had to question them, but I'm sure you made many people tell you things, maybe not just the bad people but the good people that were ashamed to say what happened, maybe? You just have to try, it would be nice if she opens up to us, you know?"

"It would be nice to know how she got that sword," Carl said with a smile.

"We can ask her that tomorrow, now go to sleep, both of you."

"Alright," Carl and I said at the same time just before we lied down on the ground. "Good-night."

"Sleep well," Rick said softly as he pecked both our foreheads.

I'm so sick guys!

I ran 10km yesterday and now I feel really sick. My mum doesn't believe it has something to do with it.  
QOTD: Not counting the main characters, like Rick, Carl, Daryl, Glenn, Maggie, Michonne, Carol... who is your favourite character?


	28. Chapter 28 - Starving

"Every long separation is a test:

A test to see how powerful or how weak the will of reuniting is!"

– Mehmet Murat ildan

The original plan was going through the woods until the next town or at least another neighbourhood far from the group we ran into in the house but the plans changed. We found some kind of sign that said 'Terminus, sanctuary for all'. Or some shit like that, so now we had gone further into the woods and more east than the place we originally wanted to go, so that meant a few more days in these endless woods. We had been here for around five more days than planned and still we had a long way to go, I was really being a bitch about it, complaining all the damn time but nobody even asked for my opinion about this Terminus thing.

Personally, I didn't think such place existed and if it ever did then I doubt it's still up. Michonne, Rick and Carl wanted to see what the whole thing was so it was three against one. They didn't ask if I wanted to go or not. I learnt some Spanish in High School and the word Terminus reminded me of the word 'terminar' which means to end, and somehow that didn't really give me a good feeling about the place.

I tried to reason with them but they said it was worth a shot, they said maybe the others had headed that way, Rick even tempted me by saying that Daryl could be there, and he could or he could not, every single possibility could be true... or not, so without a good enough argument, we ended up like before and we continued walking down the railroad tracks.

At the moment Rick was on the lead, I was a few steps behind him and Carl and Michonne were in the back, quite far from us. Both of them were walking on the rails, trying hard not to fall, as always they had a bet on it. I would have joined them if there was a third rail and if I weren't in such a bad mood.

"I think we got about a day's worth of water left," I heard Rick saying to all of us, he didn't know Michonne and Carl were too far to hear him and I barely could. "We're lucky it's cooled off a little bit, but..."

He stopped mid-sentence, like he realized he wasn't being followed anymore. He turned around and first his gaze landed on me, then on the pair behind me.

"Don't mind them," I told him.

"What are you doing?" he asked anyway.

"Winning a bet," Carl replied.

"In your dreams!" Michonne exclaimed.

"I'm still on," Carl told her and at that instant he almost fell, making Michonne laugh.

"You spoke too soon, wise guy."

"This might go on a while. Maybe we can speed this up," Rick said, being the spoiler old man he is. I rolled my eyes at him but said nothing. I just watched him walk to Michonne and Carl while I stayed on my spot.

"Yeah, you're right," Michonne muttered. "Shouldn't be fooling around. We should probably – Carl!" Michonne yelled the last part and tried to scare Carl so he would fall but the boy didn't even react, and Michonne fell instead but I was wondering if she fell on purpose, knowing Rick wanted to go.

"I win," Carl chanted proudly to Michonne and then extended his open hand to Michonne. "Pay up."

Michonne didn't look so happy as she reached for her backpack, opened it and took out two chocolate bars, if I had known the prize I would have probably joined the bet.

"Is that really the last Big Cat?" I heard Carl asking Michonne. Carl hesitated for a while but then made his choice and went to pick the chocolate with the brown wrapper.

"Oh, come on!" Michonne whined, obviously wanted that chocolate as well.

"Hey, but you said winner's choice."

"Go ahead, take it. It's yours," Michonne exclaimed as she threw the other chocolate inside her backpack before she closed it again. "You won it fair and square."

Carl opened the wrapper and broke a little piece of it, and then offered it to Michonne, who looked tempted to take it but she didn't. Damn, girl! If you don't want it I do.

"Come on, we always share," Carl said softly and Michonne smiled at him.

"Fork it over," she whispered with a grin. Rick actually laughed at the exchange of those two, before he started walking again. He pat my shoulder as he walked past me.

"No chocolate for us, huh?" I told him as I started walking too. "Now it's our turn Rick! See who can last longer on the rails, what do you say?"

"No." He chuckled.

"Aw, why not?"

"Because you would win."

"That's not fair, Rick. We could do it and we can always share like they did."

"Maybe another time, Cecilia," he said with a smile.

"Alright."

I really thought we had more food than we actually had. When we were in that house waiting for Rick to recover, I knew we had gotten a lot of food, we got even more along the way and now we only had one chocolate bar left and maybe a couple of crackers, if that and the water reserves were the same story. We probably had just one small bottle of water for each one of us and I was sure some of those bottles weren't full.

We kept walking on the railroad tracks for several hours with only some breaks here and there. For lunch we opened the last two packets of crackers that we had. Carl and I shared one, he ate two, I ate the other two. Michonne and Rick shared the other packet. The food was too little that after I ate those crackers, I felt even hungrier, like if by eating that, it only awakened my empty stomach.

"I feel like I'm going to faint," I muttered an hour after we ate.

I was breathing heavily after we went up a little hill, that required a lot of my energy and when I got to the top my vision actually went black for a few seconds. I was used to hunger, even before this shitty world, so I didn't know why I was so weak right now, why my body just wasn't adapting to the circumstances.

Nobody said anything to me but Rick gave me some water, that helped only a tiny bit but something was something. After that we just continued walking for two more hours until Rick decided we had walked enough for the day and I couldn't agree more with him.

I let my crossbow and the backpack I was carrying fall hard on the ground before I plummeted to the ground as well. I just was so weak, my legs were shaking so bad they just gave up. I lied on my back as I took deep breaths. We were so lucky the weather was cold instead of warm, I would have fainted a long time ago if that were the case.

"You okay?" Carl asked me.

"I'm just exhausted," I told him.

Minutes later Rick walked away from us, going deeper into the woods. Michonne wanted to go with him but neither Carl nor I wanted to move one inch so Rick ordered Michonne to stay so she could take care of us. Rick wanted to set up some snares so with luck we could catch something.

If I wasn't so weak I would have gone through the woods and see if I could spot an animal and hunt it, I still wasn't good at it, even after all the effort Daryl put by teaching me but I guess it just wasn't my thing, I tried and tried but always missed or I chased the animals away.

Five days ago I actually caught a really big and fat rat but even so it wasn't enough for four people. It wasn't even enough for one if you take off the skin and the bones. I hated rats so much so I refused to eat it and now I think that it was a mistake, maybe just a tiny bit of that meat would have helped me.

Even though I felt really bad I knew I wasn't going to die. I couldn't die without finding Daryl first, without being able to tell him that I love him one more time so I had to hold on to something and keep on going, at least until I see his face again.

I slowly dozed off until I fell asleep, I did even before Rick got back. During the rest of the hours of light and the night, they decided I needed the rest more than all of them so they didn't wake me up to keep guard during the night. I woke up very early the next day, the sun was going up and it was Carl who was awake.

I smiled at him before I sat up and stretched, I felt so much better that I had gotten around twelve straight hours of sleep and I also felt less moody, I was actually in a good mood. Carl waved his hand at me to get my attention and threw something at me. I picked it up and realized he was giving me one cracker inside its package.

"I thought there weren't any more left," I told him.

"There was one more package, Michonne found it in the bottom of her bag. We got one cracker each, that was our dinner and since you didn't eat it, you can have it now. So, slept well?"

"Haven't slept so well in weeks," I told him. "I feel refreshed."

"I was worried about you, I really thought you were going to faint or something."

"I thought so too, I wouldn't have been able to keep up," I told him honestly. "So, now we have completely run out of food?"  
"We still have the chocolate bar and a bag of cashew, dad said we can eat that for breakfast, said that will give us strength for the day."

"But..." I said, knowing there was a but.

"I don't know, I just feel like we shouldn't eat it. We don't know when we will find some food and I think we should save it."

"We will find something, Carl. Your dad is right, those nuts will give us strength and maybe we can walk more and finally get out of here, maybe find a house or Terminus."

"Why are you so against the idea of going there?" I shrugged.

"I have a bad feeling," I told him. "I just don't think it's genuine."

"Cici, I know there is something else bothering you, what's up?"

If Terminus actually existed and it's the sanctuary they had claimed then I wouldn't be able to stay. I had to find Daryl and how would I if I'm inside a building or whatever they have? I'll go with them until the end but once I'm sure they are okay and they'll stay, I would have to leave but I couldn't tell them that until the last moment, they wouldn't stop trying to change my mind.

"It's nothing, Carl," I lied. "I'm just tired."

"But you said you feel refreshed."

"I didn't mean just physically, you know?" I simply said, not elaborating more than that and Carl didn't ask, probably knowing what I meant.

Minutes later both, Michonne and Rick, woke up. I noticed they were practically sleeping right next to each other but said nothing, especially in front of Carl, I still didn't know how he would feel about his dad being with Michonne or any other woman for that matter and I didn't want to make the atmosphere awkward or tense, but I gave Michonne a look and she immediately understood, she just rolled her eyes at me.

Rick built a small fire to heat a can of soup, apparently they had found more food but that was mostly liquid so it wouldn't fill our stomachs for long and we would just have some spoonfuls of it.

"How hungry are you? Scale one to ten," Rick asked us.

"Fifteen," Carl said at the same time as I said, "Seventeen."

"Twenty-eight," Michonne said when Rick turned to look at her.

"Yeah. Well, it's been a while," Rick muttered. "I'm gonna go check the snares."

"Can I go with you?" Carl asked Rick, who smiled at him.

"Well, how else are you gonna learn?" Carl looked really satisfied with that answer. "Hey, you too," he said looking at both Michonne and me, neither of us felt like going but we knew we had to go.

Carl kicked dirt on the fire as I stood up and grabbed my backpack and crossbow. I was lucky I had the cracker Carl gave me because we ended up not eating the cashews, not yet at least and that soup was really nothing.

"We'll stay another day or two," Rick told us as we walked through the woods. "Get some more rest."

"We don't have food, Rick. We can't stay," I told him.

"You almost fainted yesterday, we can't keep going like this. We need to rest."

"Finish healing up?" Michonne asked him.

"I'm almost there," Rick told her.

Even when it had been more than a month since the prison was attacked and we got beaten, Rick and I hadn't recovered completely. Rick would just limp when he was really tired and his wounds were almost healed, we just still had some bruises on us. The huge bruise I had on my stomach from where that girl hit me with her rifle, was still there. Not as big and bright purple as it was the first day but I still had it. It was slowly turning green and fading but it looked so awful, luckily the pain in my stomach had stopped about ten days ago so I could relax again and if there was any danger, it wasn't there anymore. I was okay now, that was over now.

"We're close now, right?" Carl asked.

"To Terminus?" Rick questioned.

"Yeah."

"We are."

"When we get there, are we gonna tell them?"

"Tell them what?" Michonne asked Carl.

"Everything that's happened to us. All the stuff we've done. Are we gonna tell them the truth?"

"Assuming we will find people there," I muttered under my breath and Rick just gave me a look.

"We're gonna tell them who we are."

"But how do you say that?" Carl asked his father. "I mean... who are we?"

I could tell Rick wasn't sure how to answer that, Michonne didn't either but they were saved by the bell, kind of. We heard a walker coming towards us. I immediately raised my crossbow as the others did the same with their weapons, Michonne ended up killing it with her katana. After that we just continued our way and luckily there weren't any more walkers.

"There you go!" Rick exclaimed happily when he realized he had in fact caught something and hadn't been eaten by the walkers. I approached the place and saw what looked like a rabbit. "It's a small one. It'll do."

Anything would do now, now we had the rabbit and the nuts, at least those were food with a lot of protein and even calories, thing we needed desperately, not just to keep walking and do physical movement but also to just stay alive, for our organs to keep working.

"So, this is just a simple slipknot," Rick started telling us, he was determined to teach us how to set up a snare. "Tie one on both ends, then you tighten one side to a branch. Now, you see how the ground here is sort of like a funnel shape?"

"It's a trail?" Carl and I asked at the same time.

"That's right. That's where you want to set the noose. So you hide it with leaves," he said as he hid the rope with dried leaves as demonstration. "Then you put sticks all around it so any animals going by have to run this way right into the trap."

Rick was showing us how the knot works when the animal goes through, when we heard a man yelling for help. Carl stood up quickly and ran to where the voice was coming from, we ordered him to stop but of course he didn't, making us all go after him.

We caught up with him just as he raised his gun. Rick wrapped his arms around him from behind and dragged him away as Carl tried to break free. I looked at the scene and saw a man surrounded by twenty or more walkers, it was a lost cause.

"We can't help him," Rick told Carl as we hid behind some trees. We saw how the man was being eaten alive, I didn't know the man but I felt sorry for him and a sudden feeling of sadness went through me but I didn't have much time to feel that because three walkers had spotted us.

"We've got to go," Michonne whispered to us.

Michonne started running away and we soon followed her, trying to make as little sound as possible to not attract the rest of them, three walkers could be easy to kill, especially when we were four but twenty would be another story.

Once we were a prudent distant away from them, we slowed the pace as we ran through the trees, trying not to fall with a branch or something else. We ran all the way back to the railroad tracks and ran next to them, now it seemed we weren't going to stay around for a day or two.

We followed the tracks until we found a small group of three walkers, eating a body. Rick killed the first one and I killed the other two with my crossbow. I ran to the body and checked if it wasn't anyone we knew, if it wasn't Daryl and luckily I didn't know the man. I sighed in relief and then went to retrieve my two arrows. I looked back and didn't just see the three walkers that originally were chasing us but the full herd.

"Let's go," Rick exclaimed when he also realized all the walkers that were after us.

"Great, just what I needed," I muttered before I started running again.

Running on a stomach that has been mostly empty for the last five days is harder than it sounds. Your body feels twenty times heavier and your heart starts beating three times faster. You try to think positive things, even tell yourself to keep going as you think of reasons to just do that, keep on going, but your body starts to give up, to slow down and that was what was happening to me after twenty minutes of running, but luckily by now we had left behind almost all of them. Only five or so were close to us. I stopped, I couldn't keep running anymore. Carl was the first to notice and stopped too, making Michonne and Rick to do it as well.

I found some strength to raise my crossbow and shoot almost all of them. The last walker was quickly advancing as I was reloading my crossbow. I raised it again, my arms shook and I missed, hitting its shoulder. The walker lunged at me, making me fall on my butt. I tried hard to stop it from taking a bite of my flesh but honestly, my muscles were fatigued and they were giving up even when I was mentally shouting at them to keep strong. Someone pushed the walker off of me and then it was stabbed on its head. It was Rick. He turned to me and started yelling at me, mostly about how reckless I was.

"Thank you," I exclaimed, it helped shut him up. "And I'm sorry, I just wanted to stop running. I couldn't keep going, I knew I could kill them all quickly but my arms gave up and I missed. I'm sorry."

Rick said nothing to me, he just turned around and started going the same direction we were running to. Michonne offered me her hand and helped me up as Carl got my five arrows and handed them to me, I thanked them both before following Rick.

"You okay?" Carl asked me as we walked, I really was having a hard time keeping up with the rest of them.

"Yeah," I muttered as I nodded.

About half an hour later we got out of the woods and found a road, which I was really happy about. We could be close to some kind of town or neighbourhood with maybe some house or at least a cottage with food but after another hour I was beginning to think we would never find an 'urban' place again.

"Thought maybe there'd be some houses down this way," Michonne said, speaking my thoughts. "Maybe even a store. There's got to be some food around here somewhere."

"Hey, look!" Carl exclaimed.

I raised my head and looked up, I saw a car. Well, that would be better than a tree's trunk, maybe we could stay the night here. It was already around four so it would be smart to take a long break here.

As we approached the car, Carl and I looked inside the car, checking for humans and walkers, while Michonne killed a walker on the other side of the road and Rick looked around, but he found nothing.

"Cecilia," Rick muttered after we made sure the area was safe.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about earlier, I shouldn't have shouted at you, I just... worried. I thought you had been bitten."

"It's okay, I understand. I know I shouldn't have done that, it was stupid and risky and I'm sorry too."

"Well, let's cook that rabbit. I'm pretty sure we are all starving."

"Yeah, I'll start the fire."

Daryl's POV

After Beth kissed me, things got really awkward and tense between us. I tried not to be in the same room as her and I hid all the moonshine from her, I didn't want any other incident like that. I was very pissed at her for what she did, especially because she didn't even apologize.

But right now that doesn't really matter. We were ambushed by some walkers, they got inside the house, I told Beth to run and go to the driveway while I tried to fight them. Beth was taken, I don't know by who or why but I tried to find her. I ran for a couple of days, trying to find the car I saw driving away from me with her inside, but realistically, I would never catch up with a car but I had to try. I could be furious at her but she was the only person that was with me, for all I knew we could be the last people from the prison alive and I couldn't lose her but I did.

I spent a few days on my own until a group of seven men found me, their leader was an older man but he looked really strong despite his age. I didn't want to stay with them but I thought about it and I needed them, I hated to say that but I did, now that Beth was gone, I would stay with them only a few days.

This morning I left before sunrise, I wanted to catch some food and all I had found for hours had been one rabbit. I followed it with my sight and slowly moved my crossbow in its direction, waiting for the perfect moment to shoot, the same second I did, I felt something almost rubbing a side of my face fast. I felt an air wave right next to my face. The next thing I knew was that the rabbit was hit by two arrows. I turned around and a dickhead of the group was behind me, with a smug expression on his stupid face.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked as I stood, I was beyond pissed right now.

"Catching me some breakfast."

"That's mine!"

"My arrow's the one that hit first! Cottontail belongs to me," he said as I walked towards the rabbit and took the two arrows.

"Been out here since before the sun came up."

"You see, the rules of the hunt don't mean jack out here," he told me as I grabbed the rabbit. "Now, that rabbit you're holding is claimed, boy. Claimed whether you like it or not. So I was you, I'd hand it over. Now, before you get to wishing you ain't never even got out of bed this morning."

"It ain't yours," I exclaimed firmly.

"You know, I'll bet this bitch got you all messed up, hmm? Am I right?" he exclaimed, slightly changing his tone of voice to a more relaxed one, but his words were having an opposite effect on me, so I just started to walk away, not wanting any kind of problem. "Got you walking around here like a dead man who just lost himself a piece of tail. Must have been a good'un. Tell me something. Was it one of the little'uns?" Cecilia came to my mind first and as he kept talking Beth came to mind as well, I stopped in my tracks and held my knife's handle, I was getting sick of his bullshit and no one can call Cecilia or even Beth a bitch, no one. "'Cause they don't last too long out here."

"Easy," the leader of the group exclaimed and grabbed my wrist as I just took my knife out when he said that, that last sentence was what just ended my patience. He didn't knew Cecilia. "Fellas, easy. Let's just put our weapons down, see if we can't figure out what's really the problem here, huh?" He turned to look at the other man as he stepped between us. " Did you claim it?"

"Hell, yeah."

"Well, there you go. That critter belongs to Len." I just stood there, staring at the two of them, not believing they were taking this from me. "Looks like you may be wanting an explanation. See, going it alone, that ain't an option nowadays. Still, it is survival of the fittest. That's a paradox right there. So I laid out some rules of the road to keep things from going Darwin every couple hours. Keep our merry band together and stress-free. All you got to do is claim. That's how you mark your territory, your prey, your bed at night. One word, claimed.

"I ain't claiming nothing," I exclaimed, thinking it was just ridiculous.

"We're gonna teach him, right? The rules say we got to teach him."

"It wouldn't be fair to punish you for violating a rule you never even knew existed."

"There ain't no rules no more."

"Oh, there are. You know that. That's why I didn't kill you for the crossbow."

I kept my gaze on Len, who now was standing in front of me. He was so upset I wasn't being punished. As I was distracted with him, Joe grabbed the other part of my rabbit, making me turn around quickly.

"Hey!"

"Easy there, partner."

I was confused at what he wanted to do, he looked a bit hesitant as he raised the rabbit and got it closer to a tree, then he just cut it in half. He threw the other half to Len, none of us was happy with getting half but I guess at least it was something.

"Claimed. That's all you got to say," he said as Len walked away. "Hey, ass end is still an end."

About an hour later we started walking again, we were following the railroad tracks. The other six went ahead while their leader, Joe, stayed a few feet behind with me.

"So what's the plan, Daryl?" he asked me after a very long silence between us.

"How so?"

"You're with us now, but you ain't soon?"

"Yep."

"So what's the plan?"

"Just looking for the right place is all," I said after a few seconds of hesitation. I couldn't trust him enough to tell him I needed to find Cecilia, he would probably say it was a lost cause but I knew she was still alive.

"Oh, we ain't good enough for you, huh?"

"Some of you ain't exactly friendly."

"You ain't so friendly yourself. You know you need a group out here," he told me.

"Maybe I don't." I need Cecilia, she's the only person I do need.

"No, you do. You should be with us." At that moment we saw a walker coming towards us, everyone stayed calm and Joe even kept talking to me like if the walker wasn't even there, letting the other take care of it. "People don't got to be friendly. We don't have to be nice. We don't have to be brothers in arms. We just got to follow the rules. You claim. If you steal, you keel. I know that sounds a little funny, but nobody laughs when something goes missing. And you don't lie. 'Cause that's a slippery slope indeed."

"What happens if you break 'em?"

"Oh, you catch a beatin'. The severity of which depends upon the offence and the general attitude of the day. But that don't happen much 'cause when men like us follow rules and cooperate a little bit, well, the world becomes ours," he told me then he whistled to make the other six men stop. "Right there. It's our abode for the evening."

"Hey," I said, stopping Joe from walking and making him turn to look at me again. "There ain't no us."

"You leaving right now?" I said nothing. "No? Then it sure seems like there's an us." Joe turned around again and kept walking but then stopped again and looked back at me. "You a cat person, Daryl? I am. Loved 'em since I was three years old. Vicious creatures. Anyway, I'll tell you, and this is true, ain't nothing sadder than an outdoor cat that thinks he's an indoor cat."

The eight of us walked inside a small building made of sidings, that were a bit rusty now that the place was abandoned and not taken care of. Inside we found five cars, and only a minute or so after we knew there was no one else in here everyone started to 'claim' a car to sleep inside. I tried to get a car without saying that stupid word and play their game but I couldn't. Instead, I set my things on the cold ground and then I lied down in the middle of the room, I used my black plastic bag with my things inside as pillow, it wasn't as bad.

Silence fell upon us, everything was calm and it was nice to have a roof and walls protecting you from the cold but unfortunately that calm and nice atmosphere didn't last long and of course that it had to be Len the one that had to start the drama.

"You've got to be kidding me. Christ," Len exclaimed as he walked towards me making me sit up. "Give it here."

"You step back."

"My half was in the bag. Now it's gone!" So that was what it was about, that damn rabbit. I stood quickly, knowing this wasn't going to get fixed easily. "Now ain't nobody around here interested in no half a damn cottontail except you. Ain't that right?"

"You're the only one still thinking about that crap."

"Empty your bag!" he ordered, I instantly grabbed my bag to secure it.

"I said step back!"

Our argument brought the attention of the rest of the group, especially Joe's, who casually approached us, ready to intervene if he had to. He took a finally step forward and snatched my plastic bag from my hands.

"Did you take his rabbit, Daryl? Just tell me the truth," he said to me.

"I didn't take nothing."

Joe turned the bag and let my few things to drop on the ground in front of all of us, including my half of the rabbit. Joe gave it a final shake and the other half, the upper part of the rabbit fell out of my bag. I stared in disbelief at the rabbit, that fucking cheater asshole.

"Well, look at that," Joe said.

"You put that there, didn't you? When I went out to take a piss," I exclaimed angrily, speaking my thoughts. I walked forward and pushed Len. "Didn't you!?"

"You lied. You stole!" he exclaimed. "We gonna teach this fool or what, Joe?" Joe stepped in between us to stop the fight that was about to start, fucking idiot, all I wanted was to stick an arrow in that brainless man.

"Now, Daryl says he didn't take your half of the rabbit. So we got a little conundrum here. Either he's lying, which is an actionable offence, or..." he broke off with a laugh. "Or you didn't plant it on him like some pussy, punk-ass, cheating, coward cop, did you? 'Cause while that wouldn't be specifically breaking the rules, it'd be disappointing."

"I didn't," he exclaimed firmly.

"Good. Well..." Joe turned to look at me and the next second he punched Len right in the face, Len fell down hard on the ground. "Teach him a lesson, gents. He's a lying sack of shit. I'm sick of it. Teach him all the way."

The other five of the men approached the man like hyenas, anxious to do the deed. They started kicking Len and I wasn't going to lie, despite how surprised I was about how things turned out, I was glad the one on the floor being beaten up wasn't me.

"I saw him do it," Joe told me, answering the question I wanted so bad to ask.

"Why didn't you try to stop him?"

"He wanted to play that out. I let him. You told the truth. He lied. You understand the rules. He doesn't," I turned to look at the idiot as the beating just worsened. Joe picked up the half of the rabbit that belonged to Len. "Looks like you get the head, too," he said, throwing that part of the rabbit to me.

Joe walked away and I quickly knelt and put all my stuff back in the plastic bag as the others kept beating and kicking Len, he totally deserved it.

The next morning I was awoken by someone opening the door, it made a lot of noise. I sat up as I saw the rest of them already up and with their things ready, we were leaving now. All the sleep was washed off of me when I saw blood not far from where I was sleeping, Len's blood.

After they beat him up and almost left him unconscious, three of the men took him outside. I was waiting for a shotgun but it never came. The three men came back without him so they indeed killed him, but I wasn't sure how and I really didn't want to ask.

I stretched after I stood up, put my crossbow's strap over my shoulder and grabbed my bag. I followed the rest out and when I did I looked down the platform and saw the bruised and broken body of Len with an arrow in his head. A sudden feeling of guilt but mostly compassion overwhelmed me, I picked up something like a dirty sheet to cover his body but then I remembered that I could have ended like that because of him, he brought that on himself, so instead I threw the sheet back to where it was.

The other men didn't really mind me, except Joe. As the day before, he walked in the very back of the group with me, leaving a considerable distance between us and the rest of the group. As we walked through the forest, I looked everywhere, maybe I could see Cecilia around here but a part of me was wishing to not find her right now, I couldn't trust these men around her, they killed one of their own yesterday. As we walked Joe got out a flask and offered it to me.

"White Lightning," he told me as I took it in my hands. "Easiest thing to make with the least amount of supplies. I'd start slow if I was you. Your stomach's probably emptier than you think."

"I ain't been lit at dawn since before everything fell apart," I said after I took a sip of it and returned it to Joe. "Fell apart? I never looked at it like that. Seems to me like things are finally starting to fall together," he said. "At least for guys like us. Living like this, surviving. We've been doing this from the start, right?"

The others had stopped, looking at some kind of sign, that gave us the chance to catch up with them.

"Getting closer," the youngest man out of the group, Peter, Paul, P, or something like that, informed Joe.

"You seen this before?" I asked no one in particular as I read the sign.

It said 'Terminus, Sanctuary for all.' I had never read or heard or anything like that before and I was quite surprised, the first thought that came to mind wasn't about finding a place like that if it existed but maybe I could find people from the prison there, maybe they had come across a sign like this one too and decided to go, maybe, just maybe I could find Cecilia there, or Rick, or Glenn or even Beth.

"Oh, yeah. I'll tell you what it is," Joe said looking at me. "It's a lie. Ain't no sanctuary for all. Ain't gonna welcome guys like you and me with open arms.

"So, is that where we're headed?" I asked as I took a final look at the sign, before I followed Joe and the others.

"So now you're asking?"

"That's right."

"We were in a house minding our own business." I really had no idea why he was telling me that, but I let him finish before I asked. "And these walking pieces of fecal matter were hiding in the home. Shot Jason right in the forehead and strangled our colleague Lou and left him to turn. Lou came at all of us," he told me. "They lit out. We tracked them to these tracks, one of those signs, and thus we've got a destination in mind." Okay, so now I knew why he was telling me that.

"You see their faces?" I asked, what was the point in chasing them if they didn't really see them.

"Only Tony," he told me. "That's enough for a reckoning. He said it was a man and a young girl, probably his daughter."

One man of the group stopped and spotted something on the ground, I looked in the same direction and saw a small single strawberry on the ground. I knew what I had to do and now I was willing to do it. I wasn't being stubborn anymore.

"Claimed!" I exclaimed quickly and it actually worked, the man just continued his way, looking a little bit upset. I went to pick it up and quickly put it inside my plastic bag.  
Maybe all this rules were actually useful, I could get used to it until I leave them, because I have to do that to not end up like Len. I need to go look for Cecilia and find her quickly, I miss her so much.

Hello guys!  
I promise Cecilia and Daryl will reunite soon, they have spent too long away from each other.  
I do hope the season finale will be awesome, what do you think about it? I also hope it wouldn't have to end, but what can we do?

QOTD: And I need your honesty in this one, what does this story needs to get better? More drama? More action? More/less dialogue? Anything you can think about, that could make this story better, please tell me, I would appreciate it a lot! And if you can be detailed, the better :)

Anyway, I hoped you liked it, and thanks for keeping up with me so far :)


	29. Chapter 29 - What It Takes

"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him,

but because he loves what is behind him."

– G.K. Chesterton

Before it got dark we finished cooking the rabbit, and split it into four, again I think I ended up being even more hungry than before I ate. We decided to leave the nuts for tomorrow morning because we had nothing else than that.

I sat on the hood of the car after we finished eating and lit a cigarette with the fire we made to cook the rabbit, they hadn't (turn it off yet.) I was never a smoker, I had one with my friends when we went partying sometimes, but that was it. Then at the prison it became a habit, I was doing worse things than smoking, so why not? But once I was out, I quitted immediately. I barely had money to buy food, I couldn't buy cigarettes and even if I did, I wouldn't have bought them.

"Cecilia!" Rick exclaimed angrily, already walking towards me. "What did I tell you last time?"

"It curves my hunger," I told him as I took a drag.

I found two packages of cigarettes after we had to leave that nice house all those days ago. I had only smoked four of them during all this time and the four times Rick had scolded me like a father would. The first time he snatched it from my hands and stepped on it, I was so mad we had such a bad argument and we attracted so many walkers and we agreed that he would never do that again but I knew he wanted to.

"Maybe smoking is causing you to be so out of breath, I remember you used to exercise back at the prison, run around the place and all that. You should be in better shape than us. Just stop it."

"I'll stop when we have food," I told him. "And four won't make such a huge impact on my health and shape, it must be something else. Did you ever smoke?"

"No," he told me. "I thought and still think it is a disgusting habit, my parents used to smoke all the time since I was a little kid."

"My dad used to do it too," I told him. "I didn't like it but that didn't stop me from trying it."

After the apocalypses, I had barely smoked. I did it a couple of times after the farm was overrun, I actually shared one with Merle back in Woodbury and then another at the prison, Daryl never found out. Actually, I wonder what he would say if he knew I smoke sometimes, I know he does and quite often but I never asked Daryl to give me a cigarette, I thought he would get mad at me.

When I finished, I jumped off the hood and got inside the car with Carl just as it was starting to get dark. The two of us were exhausted, I told Rick to wake me up for second watch, they let me skip mine last night but I was planning on doing double tonight, to make it up to them, but I wasn't sure if that was a good idea, taking into consideration how weak I had been lately.

"Cici," Carl said. I was in the driver seat and he was next to me on the passenger seat. I opened my eyes and turned to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"I saved you this," he said as he took a brown wrapper out of his sweater pocket. "I thought that I could save it for a time that you would get worse, like close to fainting. Maybe this piece of chocolate could help you and I wasn't sure if I should give it to you today or wait for a worse time but I think I should just give it to you."

"Is that the chocolate you bet with Michonne?"

"Yep."

"You saved me a piece?" I asked surprise.

"Of course, I just thought it would come handy at some point but you can have it now. It snapped in half but it's still good."

"I think you should keep it and give it to me during a bad time, like you said. If you give it to me I won't be able to resist it and eat it in an hour at the most, so keep it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, thanks for saving me some."

"Always," he said smiling.

I turned to look out the window again and saw the sky turning into different shades of red, purple and orange, this sunset was beautiful. I smiled at its beauty and actually fell asleep while I stared intensively at it.

I was having such a bad nightmare, I woke up with a gasp as I sat up quickly and what I saw in front of me wasn't any better than my nightmare. A man had a gun pressed against Rick's temple and another man was pointing his gun to Michonne, who both were sat in front of the fire that now was gone, four more men were around with weapons in their hands and one of them was walking towards the car. He hit the window, waking up Carl.

"Come here," I exclaimed as I dragged him away from the man outside of the car.

"Shit, and I was thinking of turning in for the night on New Year's Eve," the older man, the one pointing his gun at Rick exclaimed. "Now who's gonna count down the ball dropper with me, huh? Tony, is this the woman you saw in the house? I thought you said she could be this bastard's daughter."

Tony. House. I bit my lip as those words clicked in my brain. These were the men that walked inside the house all those days ago, what was it, four, five weeks ago, maybe more? And Tony was the man that saw us under the bed. They found us and they wanted revenge.

"No, she wasn't black," the man I assumed was Tony said. "She was blonde."

At that the six men turned to look at the car and I wasn't going to lie, I was very scared. There had only been a few times I had been this afraid of people, and the last time was when the Governor destroyed our home. My crossbow was in the back seat and I doubted I could shoot one of them without getting killed even if I had it in reach. I would kill one, yes, but the other five would shoot me.

"Okay, we will deal with her later. Let's start the countdown. Ten Mississippi!" he said loudly after a long laugh, that bastard was enjoying this. Another man walked to the car but this time on my side, I grabbed the door's handle tightly to stop him from opening the door, since the locks didn't work. "Nine Mississippi. Eight Mississippi."

"Joe!" I heard another voice saying, making the grey-haired man stop the countdown. Despite how frightened I was, I could recognize that voice anywhere but I seriously doubted Daryl could be here. It was just my mind playing games.

But I turned around to where I heard the voice coming from and saw a seventh man approaching the scene, as he got closer I saw the man's face and for a second I was truly happy, I even felt my eyes watering at the sight of him, Daryl was only metres away from me. I could see how his expression changed to a horrified and surprised one as he kept walking and recognized Michonne and Rick, he hadn't seen me and Carl yet.

"Hold up."

"You're stopping me on eight, Daryl."

"Just hold up."

"This is the guy that killed Lou and Jason and the girl is in the car, so we got nothing to talk about!" another man exclaimed as he kept pointing his rifle at Rick.

Daryl turned to look at the car, he narrowed his eyes and then only a second later I saw how all the colour drained from his face and he looked truly terrified, he looked like he had seen his worst nightmare. I bit my lip, trying hard not to scream his name or do anything stupid and I hoped he wouldn't do anything stupid either.

"The thing about nowadays is we got nothing but time. Say your piece, Daryl," Joe said calmly.

"These people, you're gonna let 'em go. These are good people."

"Now, I think Lou and Jason would disagree with you on that. I'll, of course, have to speak for them and all 'cause your friends here strangled one in a bathroom and shot the other with a freaking arrow!"

"You want blood, I get it," Daryl said as he put his crossbow on the ground besides him, I shook my head at his action. What the hell was he doing? "Take it from me, man. Come on."

"No! No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and tried to get out of the car but Carl didn't let me. I attracted the attention of everyone, except Daryl's, who didn't look at me, but I was sure he heard me. "Please, no!"

"This man and that girl," he said pointing at me. "Killed our friends. You say they're good people. See, now that right there is-is a lie." At that Daryl, dropped his hands to his his sides and looked disappointed, I think. I couldn't see all his face from this angle plus the lack of light didn't help. "It's a lie!" the man shouted.

As soon as he said that, three of the men started beating Daryl. I watched horrified at the scene in front of me, frozen in my seat but a few second later I reacted and opened the door of the car, I had to save him or at least try. They were technically next to the car, so I jumped on one of the man's back and started doing anything I could think of, I scratched him, kicked, pulled his hair. He struggled with me for probably a minute or two until a second man grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me down to the ground, I stood up quickly but the first man grabbed me and wrapped his strong arms around me tightly.

"Holy shit," the second man exclaimed as he gasped. "Annika?"

"You know her?" Joe, the grey-haired man asked surprised.

I looked at the man in front of me and it took me a while to recognize him but when I did, I just felt worse instead of better than someone in the group knew me. The man was probably the youngest out of all. His blonde hair was covered by a hat, that's why I didn't recognize him at first. His green eyes stared into my blue ones as he smirked at me and I felt exposed at how intensively he was looking at me. Right in front of me stood Peter.

"Tony, bring her here."

I kicked and tried hard to not be taken to this man but Tony just lifted me up and he took me right in front of the man, Rick and Michonne. In the distance I could hear Daryl's grunts and the sound of fists connecting with something and heard Carl's struggling as well, but I couldn't see any of them right now.

"Well, aren't you a beauty?" Joe exclaimed after he checked me out.

"Let Daryl go, he had nothing to do with this," I pleaded. "Do whatever you want to me. I'll take it instead of Daryl, please just let him go."

"Don't worry, sweetie. You'll get your share, just as Daryl."

"No! Please, no!"

"I think it's only fair that Peter takes care of her, Tony," the man said with a smile. "How do you know her?"

"We dated," Peter replied with a smirk. "I think we will finish this night as we ended our relationship, isn't that right, Annie? Except it will be the other way around this time."

I met Peter before I moved to New York, so he met me when I was Annika, not Cecilia. He kept calling me Annika after we moved to NYC, preventing me from letting go of my past completely.

Tony handed me over to Peter, who held me from behind, he whispered things in my ear as I tried to break free, he told me the things he was planning to do to me. Then he actually had the nerve to leave a kiss right on my cheek and that's when I totally lost it. Not only because of what happened with Sean but also because I felt nothing but hatred towards Peter, I felt disgusted by the fact his arms were around me, much more by that kiss. I started kicking and struggling harder and I actually managed to break free but Peter tackled me to the ground and sat on top of me, crushing me with his weight and pinned my hands above my head.

"Listen, it was me. It was just me!" I heard Rick desperately saying to Joe as I stopped struggling and started crying, not because of me, but because I was scared for my family. I kept hearing Daryl's grunts and I couldn't help him, same with Carl.

"See, now that's not entirely right. The girl was in the house too."

"But I killed them both, I did it."

"Look, we can settle this. We're reasonable men. First, we're gonna beat Daryl to death. Then we'll have the girl, the black one and then the boy and then the blonde and then I'm gonna shoot you, but since Peter knows this girl, what was her name again, Peter?"

"Annika."

"Right, well, since he knows _Annika_ so well we are going to keep her longer, you know? Make her feel welcome among friends, he said they dated." He laughed. "And then when we all get bored of her and when Peter says it's time, we are going to shoot her too and just then we'll be square." Joe laughed again as he finished that.

My blood went completely cold, not because what they were planning to do to me and who knows for how long but because they were going to kill Daryl and Rick, and I was going to be alive. Anything they could do to me was nothing compared to killing them both, my fiancé and what was the closest to having a father, and that's without talking about Michonne and Carl.

Right then I saw out of the corner of my eye a portly man pushing Carl to the floor and getting on top of him, the sight was horrible, how could they do that to a boy? I yelled and screamed but Peter only smirked at me and held me tighter.

"Let him go!" Rick demanded. I turned to look at Rick for a second and saw how his whole face changed, like if something had taken control of him.

Joe kept laughing at Carl, Rick and me, because we were so helpless. Then, Rick backwards headbutted Joe, making him shoot but the bullet didn't hit anyone. Joe stumbled backwards as he held his nose, which was bleeding.

I noticed how Peter's grip loosened around my wrists and I turned to look at him instead, who was stunned, looking at his leader. I took my chance. I pushed my hips up with all my strength with the help of my legs and managed to get Peter off of me, then I quickly pounced on him and started beating him like if there was no tomorrow, I didn't even give him a chance to react, I just kept going. I punched his head and shoulders repeatedly. Then I kind of snapped out of my trance, I couldn't lose any more time with this piece of shit even when I wanted to make him suffer, to make him pay for sending me to jail for months, for what he did tonight. Nevertheless I stabbed him forcefully right in the middle of his forehead, I pulled the knife out and stood up quickly. I stood frozen for only a second, debating who to help, Daryl or Carl.

That man was trying to rape Carl and Daryl was being beaten merciless by two men. It was a tough decision but I ran towards Carl, he was just a boy but for a second time Tony stopped me. He got in front of me quickly, almost making me crash against him but I recovered quickly and started fighting him. I was doing pretty good until he got to punch me right in the face, making me a bit disorientated. I fought the feeling and attacked him again. I kicked him right in the balls, ran to Daryl's crossbow, which was only a few feet away from me, grabbed it and shot him right in the head.

I was going to help Carl now when I saw Rick for a split second. He leant forward and actually bit Joe in the neck, ripping a piece of skin, probably muscle too. Rick broke an artery, making Joe bleed no stop, he was done for. Then I heard gunshots, close to me. It was Michonne, who took advantage of the shock to kill the man that was pointing the gun at her.

The man that was trying to harm Carl, pulled him up and held him by wrapping an around his neck. Carl kept struggling but the man was too strong.

"I'll kill him. I'll- I'll kill him!" he threatened.

"Let the boy go!" Michonne exclaimed as she pointed the gun at the man, I also was aiming at him with the crossbow but Carl was moving too much, it was too dangerous.

"He's mine." I heard Rick saying. I looked at him and saw his curls all over the place, he was all covered in blood and he actually looked scary.

"Stay back!" the man weakly exclaimed. "Please, ugh!"

Rick stabbed him quickly, while Carl ran to Michonne, who was the closest to him, she wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly. He looked pretty shaken up, and he had all the right to be.

At the moment, Rick was torturing the man. He stabbed him again and this time he ran the knife up the man's body, all the way to his chest, cutting his skin and flesh, I put the crossbow back in the ground and covered my ears, the man's screams and the sound of skin and flesh being cut were awful. Rick continued to stab him and I just stared completely stunned at him and then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I screamed and actually made a swing but he moved fast out of the way.

"It's me, Cecilia, it's me!" I heard Daryl saying, making me stop trying to hit him. I took deep breaths as I nodded at him. I was turning my head to look at Rick's direction when Daryl stopped me. "No, don't look. Just don't."

I nodded again, biting my lip. I closed my eyes and once again covered my ears because I could hear every stab, every grunt, and when the man died, I kept hearing the stabs until it was all over. I collapsed on the ground and took deep breaths to calm myself, I didn't want to cry.

Daryl knelt in front of me and looked at me with a worried expression, while I looked at him like he was an illusion, a mirage. I shook my head in disbelief as I looked right at his blue eyes.

"You can touch me to make sure I'm real," he muttered making me heartlessly chuckle at his words.

"Hey, don't steal my phrase," I told him. "That's what I say every time we find each other."

"It was my turn," he told me with a shrug.

"I hope there isn't another time."

He nodded at me before he raised his hands and caressed my cheeks and cupped my face, seconds later he leant forward and kissed me on the lips. I kissed back immediately and put my hands on top of his, and that was what broke me, tears started to run down my face, Daryl noticed, breaking the kiss.

"Hey, hey," he said softly, wiping the tears away with his thumb. "What's wrong?"

"I just... I just can't believe I found you," I muttered. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"We always find each other," he assured me. "Don't we?" I nodded at him.

"I love you," I whispered, it seemed like I could barely find my voice now but it was enough to make Daryl smile. He nodded at me and pressed his lips against mine once again but this time he pulled away quickly, he rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes.

"I love you too."

We stayed like that for a long time, embracing each other and just taking our time to accept we found each other once again. He kissed my forehead before he stood up and brought me up to my feet. He put a finger under my chin and made me look up at him.

"Are you okay?" he asked me, I nodded at him. "Did they hurt you?"

"I'm fine," I assured him. "Are you okay? I wanted to help you but..."

"I'm okay," he said quickly, interrupting me. "I've gotten worse beatings. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why did that guy call you Annika?" I sighed.

"Daryl, he was Peter, remember? I told you about him."

"Hold on a second, that piece of shit was your ex-boyfriend? The one that hit you and sent you to jail?"

"Yeah, that's the one. I seriously thought he had died and if he was alive, that I would never see him again."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I finished what I started about three years ago. It's over now."

"You sure you are okay?" I nodded, even flashed him a small smile to reassure him. "How did you guys even end up in this mess, anyway?" he asked me.

"After the prison we ended in a neighbourhood, we randomly chose a house and spent a few days there. One day Michonne and Carl went looking for supplies in the other houses while Rick and I stayed in the house. Rick was unconscious for a whole day and I had some injuries too from the prison battle, so we both stayed to rest," I told him. "Then we heard some voices, hid under the bed for a very long time. Two of them started fighting over the bed, one pushed the other to the floor and saw us, but he fell unconscious, when the other guy fell asleep, we managed to get out of the room but another man was going up the stairs and saw me, I didn't even think about it, I just shot him and then I followed Rick inside the bathroom, he was trying to kill a man that was there. He strangled him and left the door open so when he turned he would cause a distraction, make an opportunity for us to escape."

"That was clever," he told me.

"We jumped out the window and when we heard a chaos inside we ran away from there, meeting Carl and Michonne in the process. Were you with them when all that happened?" I asked quickly, thinking that the walker we let loose could have gotten to Daryl.

"No, but I was told about it. I just... I never thought they were tracking you all... if I had known..."

"Don't even think this is your fault, Daryl," I exclaimed as I took his hands with mine. "We killed those guys and weren't careful enough, but now it's all over so you shouldn't really think about that."

"I hate it when you kill people, it's something that changes you," he told me, I bit my lip and looked down at the ground in shame. "I wish you didn't have to do it."

"I know, I hate it too. But in most cases you don't have a choice, it's either them or you."

Fragments of the Governor with his people flashed through my mind, the girl that was so determined to kill me, the girl I had to kill to survive. I hated that it always comes to that, them or me, I hate what I have become, a heartless murderer that doesn't even blink at the time of pulling the trigger.

"I know," Daryl muttered.

"Daryl, what is bothering you? I already told you none of this was your fault!" I exclaimed. I let go of his hands and instead wrapped my arms around him, holding him close to me.

"It's no – nothing, I'm just a bit overwhelmed by everything, that's all."

We let go of each other slowly, he pecked my lips one more time, making me feel slightly better. Daryl was here, he was back. We had a rough and horrible night but everything was better now, he was alive and well and so was I, we reunited once again.

I turned around and saw Michonne softly talking to Carl, who still looked pretty shaken up. Rick was on his knees next to the body of the man that tried to harm Carl. He was like in a trance, he wasn't moving at all and I was sure he was in the same position after he stopped stabbing that horrible man.

"Go help Michonne with Carl, get him inside the car, I'll help Rick." I nodded at Daryl and reluctantly walked away from him.

I knelt in front of Michonne and Carl, who was in her arms, and as soon as I did, he reached for my hand, squeezing it hard. I leant forward and hugged him as well, then I kissed the top of his head. I hated to see him like this and feeling so helpless.

"Come on," I muttered. "Let's get inside the car."

Michonne and I helped Carl up, as we walked I noticed he was trembling, his legs were shaking, even when both of us were helping him walk. I let go of him to open the door of the car and helped Carl get inside. I told Michonne to get inside with him, I was going to come back later.

"No, don't leave me!" Carl exclaimed when he noticed I was closing the door and I was still outside.

"You are safe, Carl," I told him. "I'll be back, I have to help Daryl."

"No, please."

"Give me fifteen minutes, just fifteen. You'll be okay."

I didn't let Carl keep arguing with me, I closed the door and walked towards Daryl, who was speaking to Rick, who shook his head every once in a while. I stepped on a twig, breaking it in the process. Daryl turned to look at me and just gave me a look.

"I told you to help Carl!"

"I did, now I'm helping you."

It took a lot of talking and many failed attempts to get Rick to get away from his position in front of that dead man but we finally managed to move him from there. He let us move him only a few inches until he jerked away from us and collapsed on the ground, he crawled backwards, getting closer to the car and then rested his back against it.

"He's just in shock," Daryl told me. "Now get inside the car and get some sleep."

"What about you?"

"I'll stay with Rick."

But Daryl didn't walk in the direction Rick was, he actually went the opposite direction. I watched his moves and realized he was attempting to move the bodies. He grabbed Joe first by his ankles and started to drag him away.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"It had been awful for all of us so I don't want the bodies to be here in the morning to remind us what we went through, I don't want Carl, Michonne, Rick and you to see these men when the sun comes up."

"I'll help you then."

"No, you go rest."

"I'm fine, Daryl. We'll finish quicker if we work together."

I walked towards him despite him complaining and grabbed Joe's wrists and together we carried him to the woods, we threw the body there, away from the others' view. Then we went back to the road and did the same with Tony, and then with the man that Rick killed last. Even when he was dead I still got angry when I saw him, Carl was just a boy and had nothing to do with what Rick and I did. I bit my lip as we carried him, not only he was way heavier than the other two, but I could see the damage Rick caused, I could see his insides and that wasn't a nice view.

When we threw the body next to the other two, I coughed and crouched over, I felt sick from the view and from what he could have done to Carl. But I didn't puke, my stomach was empty, there was nothing to throw up in there, not even the piece of rabbit I ate a few hours ago.

I knew Daryl wanted to scold me, I knew he wanted to tell me to just go to the car with the others, that he could handle it on his own. So I just spat after I knew nothing was coming up, wiped my mouth and stood up straight and went back to the road without a word, I was okay and I had to show Daryl I was.

We did the same procedure with the two other bodies, one was the man that was keeping an eye on Michonne and the other was the man who kept beating Daryl until the end. His face and even skull were destroyed, I didn't ask Daryl what he did to him and I was sure he didn't want to tell me. We all do horrible things during desperate circumstances, we become other people, scary people. We become survivors, no matter the price.

"That's enough, Cecilia. Now go with Carl," he said in a firm and authoritative tone, he was giving me an order.

"Don't you think I can handle it?"

"It's not that. I just think you have suffered enough."

"He's dead, Daryl. He can't hurt me anymore," I assured him. "I can do it."

"I know, I just don't want you to."

"Come on, we would have finished with this already if we weren't arguing."

I took a deep breath before I grabbed Peter's arms, Daryl sighed and moved to help, grabbing his feet. Blood was dripping from the knife wound in his forehead, he also had lots of bruises already forming, I could see them on his face, shoulders and chest, his shirt was ripped so I could see part of his upper body. He didn't look as bad as three or so years ago, when I was sent to jail for 'excessive force' used on him but last time I didn't stab him and kill him, I finally ended all of this.

We threw the body on top of the others, Daryl and I had made sure none of them would turn. We only had to stab Joe and the corpulent man, the others already had wounds in their heads.

"See? It's over," I told Daryl. "And I'm alright."

"I know you are tough," he told me as he grabbed my hand, pulled me closer to him and kissed the top of my head. "Let's go."

We walked back hand in hand to where the car was, we spent so much time apart I just didn't want to spend a single moment without him anymore. I was afraid that if I didn't have him close he would just dissolve into thin air or I would just lose him again in some way.

I turned to look at Daryl and with the help of the little light we had from the moon I could see his lips curving into a smile as he intertwined our fingers. He looked down at our hands for a second before he looked up again.

"What's that smile for?" I asked him, as we walked out of the woods once again and the road came into view, plus the car and the others.

"The ring," he told me. "I had forgotten about it. Like I knew I proposed to you and all that but I didn't really give much thought to the ring."

"I just couldn't lose it," I told him. "I probably checked if I still had it on every five minutes or so."

He stopped me, turned me around and hugged me tightly one more time, I didn't complain, I just hugged him back. I looked up at him and pressed my lips against his, I had missed how this felt. I had missed being in his arms and being able to kiss him and just look into those eyes and have him around. I just missed him so much.

"Go to sleep now," he told me. "I'll stay with Rick, make sure he's okay."

"Alright," I said, agreeing with him for the first time tonight.

I got inside the car on the passenger seat, I tried to close the door slowly so it wouldn't make much noise, I didn't want to wake Carl up but he was still awake, and so was Michonne. She was sitting behind the driver seat, looking down at Carl, who had his head on her lap as she caressed his head softly.

When Carl saw me, he reached for my hand. I smiled at him and extended my arm to hold his hand. I gave it a squeeze. Carl looked better than the last time I saw him, he didn't look so afraid anymore, and he had stopped shaking but the look in his eyes, killed me. The terror in them showed me he was still terrified, even when at first glance he didn't look like it.

I rested my head on the seat and tried to fall asleep, I was fatigued but every time I closed my eyes I saw those men, I saw Peter on top of me, trying to kill me, I was sure that was why Michonne and Carl weren't sleeping either.

Even though it was quite late already, I felt like an eternity until it started to get light. I think I only got fifteen minutes of sleep, if that. Michonne had Carl in her arms all night and I didn't let go of his hand, not even for a second. We were all awake during the rest of the night but even so, none of us said anything. I didn't hear Rick or Daryl talking either, but I knew they were outside, I saw Daryl walking around a couple of times, so he didn't get any sleep either, and I was sure Rick didn't either.

"I didn't know what they were." I heard Daryl saying to Rick, outside the car.

"How'd you wind up with them?"

"I was with Beth." I frowned when I heard that, why didn't he tell me that? It probably slipped his mind. We had a rough night. "We got out together. I was with her for a while."

"Is she dead?"

"She's just gone," Daryl said. "After that, that's when they found me. I mean, I knew they were bad, but they had a code. It was simple. Stupid, but it was something. It was enough."

"And you were alone."

"They said they were looking for a guy and a girl. Last night they said they spotted them. I was hanging back. I was gonna leave. But I stayed. That's when I saw it was you four. Right when you saw me. I didn't know what they could do, I just..."

"It's not on you, Daryl," Rick told him, a long silence followed. "Hey, it's not on you."

"I should have protected her and instead she helped me, what kind of man am I? I couldn't help any of you."

"You being back with us here, now, that's everything. You have no idea how much she missed you, we all did," Rick told him. "You're my brother."

"Thank you," Daryl said after a very long silence. "For keeping her safe."

"We kept each other safe, all of us."

"Hey, about what you did last night... anybody would have done that."

"No, not that."

"Something happened. That ain't you," Daryl whispered, I barely could hear him.

"Daryl, you saw what I did to Tyreese. It ain't all of it,but that's me. That's why I'm here now. That's why Carl is. I want to keep him safe. That's all that matters."

"We are all safe, that's what matters and we should just let it go," Daryl said. "I'll get into the woods, see if I can hunt something for us. I'll be back in about an hour, you get some rest."

Hello guys! I'm kinda happy that I updated the chapter when they reunite right after the finale. Btw, what did you think of it?  
And I hoped you liked this chapter and they way they reunited :) I'd love to hear your opinions.


	30. Chapter 30 - Too Good To Be True

"Because he could not afford to fail, he could not afford to trust."

\- Joseph J. Ellis, His Excellency: George Washington

As Daryl promised, he was back an hour later, by then we were out of the car and had all our things ready to start our day. Daryl caught a squirrel and an armadillo. He cooked them and divided the two animals between the five of us.

Now with the sunlight we could see each other's injuries. Rick had a big bruise on his right temple and his knuckles were bloody, but he looked okay, besides that. Carl had a scrape on his cheek, Daryl got a black eye plus all the bruises on his upper body, which his clothes covered. I also had bruises on my sides, from when I was tackled to the ground but compared to how I was after the prison, this was nothing. Michonne was the only one that had next to no injuries or bruises, at least on the outside.

After we ate, we got our backpacks and started our way towards Terminus. Rick had cleaned his face and took off the bloody shirt he had on. He stayed on the lead the whole time, followed closely by Michonne, while Carl stayed close to me, walking in between Daryl and I. I put my arm around his shoulders, I saw him smile and then he put his around my waist.

I turned to look at Daryl and noticed he was already looking at me, I smiled at him and nodded towards Michonne and Rick. He turned to look at them and I saw his confusion and then his eyes got wide, understanding what I meant. He nodded at me and I smirked, knowing that they both had feeling for each other.

"I'm okay." I heard Rick saying.

"Yeah, I know," Michonne muttered.

"How?"

"Because I'm okay too."

"What do you think about going to Terminus?" I asked Daryl, Carl was looking at us weirdly, noticing we were silently communicating.

"We should see it, it might be a good idea."

"Really?" I asked him and he nodded.

"She thinks we shouldn't go," Carl told Daryl, speaking for the first time since the attack.

"Why?" he asked, and I told him that I just had a bad feeling and that the word 'Terminus' reminded me of the word 'terminar' in Spanish, which means to end. "It could be just a coincidence, lots of people can't speak Spanish."

"I think that we're either heading to a trap or that the place doesn't really exist," I exclaimed. "I mean, who takes people in these days?"

"We did," Daryl told me.

"Yeah but we didn't make signs and told people where we were, we were cautious."

"I know it's hard to trust people, especially after all our experiences but checking this place out won't make any harm," Daryl told me. "We will be okay. And some others might be heading that way too, I think it's worth going."

Minutes later Rick stopped, seeing a sign on the ground. He moved the dust with his shoe and noticed it was another sign from Terminus. Both Carl and I removed our arms from around each other and looked down at the sign.

"We're getting close," Daryl exclaimed. "Be there before sundown."

"Now we head through the woods. We don't know who they are," Rick exclaimed and we nodded at him.

We turned right and got into the woods, Rick got on the lead next to Michonne once again, Carl walked a few steps behind them, with his head low, while Daryl and I stayed on the very end. At first we didn't say a word to the other but then I remembered what I heard this morning and I wanted to ask him about it.

"You were with them since the start?" I asked Daryl without looking at him, I heard him sigh.

"No, they found me a few days ago," he muttered in a low tone.

"Were you all alone before that?" I asked with a surprised tone even when I knew he hadn't been alone.

"No," he said curtly, starting to get uncomfortable. I raised my eyebrows at his strange behaviour but didn't comment on it.

"Who were you with?" I asked when I realized Daryl wasn't going to tell me if I didn't ask him.

"Beth."

"Oh, okay. Is she, uh, dead? That's why you don't want to talk about it?"

"I don't know, she's just gone, okay?" he snapped.

"Are you alright, Daryl?"

"It's a long story, okay? And I don't want to talk about it right now." I nodded at him.

"Okay."

Daryl sighed once again, before he slightly quickened his pace and left me alone in the back. I decided to not give it much thought to his weird behaviour and just kept walking. We kept going like that until we reached a place surrounded by a metallic fence. Carefully, we got closer and looked through it and saw a three-story-building, it had huge letters on the front, it read 'TERMINUS', we really didn't see people around, though.

"We all spread out, watch for a while, see what we see, and get ready, we all stay close." Rick told us all but then turned to look at Carl. "You want to stick with me?"

"It's all right," Carl muttered, going with Michonne quickly.

"I'll go with you," I told Rick.

"It's fine, Cecilia. Go with Daryl."

"Daryl already left," I said as I looked around. "It's either going with your or on my own, so let's go."

Rick and I walked around the fence, until we found a nice spot to watch the place, we knelt so we could be more hidden. He looked crushed about the Carl thing and I felt sad for him. I put my arm on his shoulder on a supportive way.

"He'll come around," I muttered. "He's just... still shocked, he needs a friend and you said it yourself, you can't be his father and best friend at the same time. You needed to protect him."

"I know, I just... don't want him to be scared of me. I know he is."

"He's scared, yes, but not of you," I assured him. "Just give him some time."

"Why did you come with me?" I shrugged.

"You looked like you needed some company," I told him. "And you saw Daryl was already gone, so..."

"You need to talk to him."

"I know."

After a while of watching and really not seeing anything or anyone, Rick told me it would be a good idea to bury our stuff, or at least just our weapons, which were in the bag that he was carrying. Rick and I dug a hole on the ground, marked a tree next to it so we would know where we buried them. Rick put his bag there and then I put my crossbow on top of it. I had a small gun and a small knife with me.

"What are you doing?" Daryl asked me.

"If we need to leave in a hurry, I don't want to be carrying that," I told him. "It would just get in the way."

"This is just in case," Rick told him.

We made sure we covered everything, that no one would know that something was buried there if someone happens to stumble upon them, we wanted it to be so well hidden than not even us would find it, that's why we made the small mark on the tree.

When we all reunited once again, Rick jumped the fence first, followed by Michonne and Carl, who were helped by Daryl. He wanted to help me too, but I told him I could do it myself, always being the stubborn one. I climbed the fence quickly and jumped off of it, landing on my feet, close to Rick, Daryl finally jumped as well.

Daryl got on the lead with his crossbow raised, Michonne got her katana out, while Rick, Carl and I got out guns. We ran silently to the back of the building, finding an open door. We walked in cautiously, we could hear a female voice talking, through something like a microphone. We walked to another door, following the voice and saw a woman with almost completely white hair, talking like she was on the radio, there were more people around. We walked in and still no one had seen us yet.

"...There are maps at the crossings to help guide you with your journey. Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive survive. Terminus, sanctuary for all. Community for all."

"Hello," Rick exclaimed, getting closer to the woman.

"Those who s –"

"Hello," Rick repeated.

"Well, I bet Albert is on perimeter watch," a man, probably in his early thirties or younger, exclaimed. "You here to rob us?"

"No. We wanted to see you before you saw us," Rick exclaimed.

"Makes sense," the man said. "Usually we do this where the tracks meet. Ahem. Welcome to Terminus," he exclaimed as he walked towards us. "I'm Gareth. Looks like you've been on the road for a good bit."

"We have. Rick. That's Carl, Cecilia, Daryl, Michonne." The man waved at us with a fake smile, I could tell.

"You're nervous. I get it!" Gareth exclaimed. "We were all the same way. We came here for sanctuary. That what you're here for?"

"Yes."

"Good. You found it. Hey, Alex!" The man called Alex walked towards us with a smile. "This isn't as pretty as the front. We got nothing to hide, but welcome wagon is a whole lot nicer. Alex will take you, ask you a few questions. Uh, but first, we need to see everyone's weapons. If you could just lay them down in front of you."

The five of us just looked at each other, unsure of what to do. Of course we didn't want to do that, we would be unprotected without them. Unconsciously, I stepped closer to Daryl, who was on my right.

"All right," Rick finally said, taking his gun out and setting it on the floor, I just turned to look at him with wide eyes.

"I'm sure you understand."

"Yes, I do."

I sighed. I watched the others put their guns, and in Michonne and Daryl's case, her katana and his crossbow, on the ground. Carl nudged me on my side and I finally put mine down as well, I had a small blade hidden around the waistband of my jeans, though, they wouldn't be able to feel it.

"I'd hate to see the other guy," Alex commented as he saw Daryl's black eye.

"You would," Rick muttered.

Alex ended searching Daryl for weapons and moved to me, as soon as his hands were on me, I could see how Daryl's muscles tensed and he glared at the man. I only could hope he wouldn't feel the blade, I would be screwed then.

"They deserve it?" Alex asked, looking at both, Carl and me.

"Yes," Carl replied.

Just so you know, we aren't those kind of people, but we aren't stupid either. And you shouldn't be stupid enough to try anything stupid," Gareth told us. "As long as everyone's clear on that, we shouldn't have any problems. Just solutions. Okay."

Alex bent and grabbed Michonne's katana, handing it to her afterwards, he was going to reach for Daryl's crossbow but Daryl beat him to it, grabbing both, his crossbow and my gun, giving it to me quickly, Daryl glared at the man as he walked past him, he grabbed the other two guns and gave them to Rick.

"Follow me," he told us with a goofy grin.

The five of us followed Alex out of the room and out of the building. Daryl was right behind him, while Michonne and I stayed in the back.

"So, how long's this place been here?" I heard Daryl asking.

"Since almost the start. When all the camps got overrun, people started finding this place. I think it was instinct, you know?" Alex said. "Follow a path. Some folks were heading to the coast,others out west or up north, but they all wound up here."

Alex led us to some kind of patio, there were around five tables surrounded by chairs and each one had an umbrella on them. I crossed my arms in front of my chest as I stopped next to Rick as we watched the place. There were some more people here and it actually looked alright.

"Hi," A brunette woman, probably in her late forties, greeted us she was cooking some meat for what I could see. "Heard you came in the back door. Smart. You'll fit right in here."

"Hey, Mary, would you fix each of these new folks a plate for me?" Alex said to the woman.

"Why do you do it? Why do you let people in?" Michonne asked.

"The more people become a part of us, we get stronger," Alex said. "That's why we put up the signs, invite people in. It's how we survive."

I looked around, saw the people out here. But what caught my attention was a blonde woman seated on a chair. She was wearing a poncho identical to the one Daryl had, the one I used to steal from him when it was cold. I knew there could be more than one like that one but it was such a big coincidence, I softly nudged Rick on his side and nodded towards the blonde, he nodded at me and with his head pointed at another man, who was wearing some riot gear very similar to the ones of the prison. We also saw a hitch-hiker's orange backpack that looked really familiar.

It seemed like the others hadn't noticed what Rick and I were seeing, because Alex offered food to Carl and Michonne, and both accepted the food. I saw Rick walking towards Alex with a dead serious expression. I just looked at him, considering if I should stop him or not. He passed both Michonne and Carl, who were closest to Axel, Mary and where the food was. Rick angrily slapped down the platter of food Alex had in his hands, and quickly grabbed him from behind, pointing his gun at Alex's temple.

At that Daryl quickly raised his crossbow and pointed it at Alex. At the same time, a young and skinny man not far from me, reached for something in his pocket, I approached him quickly, taking out the small blade I had hidden, kicked him down there and without mercy pulled him up as I also grabbed him from behind, with an arm around his collarbone, and with the other I pressed the blade against his neck. Letting go of him for only a second or two, Daryl turned to point his crossbow from Alex to the man I had in my hold, while I looked inside his pocket and found a small gun. I grabbed it quickly before pressing the blade against his throat again.

"Where the hell did you get this watch?" Rick asked, looking at the watch that now was in his hands. It was Hershel's watch, the one he gave to Glenn.

Carl had also taken out his gun, pointing at a man who was pointing at us. Michonne also got his katana, Daryl turned around and was made to point to another man that had his gun pointed at us, he didn't look so happy about having to turn his back to me, especially when I was holding a man hostage.

"Where the hell did you get this watch?" Rick repeated.

"You want answers? You want anything else? You get 'em when you put down the gun," Alex exclaimed.

"I see your man on the roof with a sniper rifle," Rick exclaimed, looking up at the roof. "How good's his aim? Where'd you get the watch? Where'd you get the watch?!" Rick asked again and again, each time raising his voice more.

"Don't do anything! I have this! You just put it down. You put it down!" Alex yelled at the others, but then talked to Rick. "You want to listen to me. There's a lot of us."

The man I was holding, struggled and tried to break free so I just tightened my grip on him ad pressed the blade harder against his neck, he groaned and somehow I knew I had cut him but that didn't stop me from pressing it even harder, like I said before, when you are in this kind of situations, it's like something just snaps inside of you and you no longer are your normal self, you do things you normally wouldn't do.

"Where did you get the watch?"

"I got it off of a dead one. I didn't think he'd need it," Alex finally answered Rick's question.

"What about the riot gear? The poncho?" Rick asked him then.

"Got the riot gear off a dead cop," Gareth replied, finally appearing again. He was only a few feet away from me but his attention was focused on Rick and Alex, not on me and this guy. "Found the poncho on a clothesline."

"Gareth, we can wait."

"Shut up, Alex," Gareth said emotionless.

"You talk to me," Rick exclaimed.

"What's there left to say? You don't trust us anymore."

"Gareth!" Alex and the man I had in my grip exclaimed at the same time.

"Shut up!" Gareth exclaimed, raising his voice a bit.

"Gareth, please."

"It's okay. It's okay," Gareth said, acting all calm again. "Rick, what do you want?"

"Where are our people?"

"You didn't answer the question."

What happened next was a bit confusing, Rick turned around quickly with Alex still in his grip and a man that was behind Rick, pulled the trigger but instead of killing Rick, he killed Alex. I aggressively pushed away the man I was holding, and in the process I cut him deeper. The wound could be fatal or not, the man had his hands around his neck, trying to stop the bleeding but I didn't put much attention to him. There were gunshots all around us now.

"Get down, now! Go!" Rick yelled at us.

We started running, Daryl made sure I was in front of him all the time, but we were stopped by gunshots only feet away from us. We had to stop all of a sudden, making Daryl bump into me, almost making me fall.

"Come on, this way," Daryl yelled, grabbing my wrist for only a few seconds to pull me with him but then let it go, in case he needed to shoot someone. I quickly hid my blade, it would be of no use anymore and instead got my gun out now, it was very small and it only had like two or three bullets, so if I needed to shoot I had to make them count.

But once again we were stopped by them firing exactly at the place we were heading, making us change directions and running somewhere else I really was wondering if they were really that bad shooters or they were just not shooting us intentionally.

We turned left and ran as fast as we could, the only way out of this place was a door in front of us that was closing. We weren't fast enough, the door closed entirely, I cursed loudly. But we spotted another door, we ran towards it, Rick pushed it open, thankfully it was open and ran out of that room, and once again we were out of the building. As soon as we were, they started shooting at us once again.

We were running as fast as we could when suddenly they started shooting the way we were going to, and made us turn right instead.

"Help! Help!" I thought I heard a female voice exclaimed as we passed some railway containers.

"What the hell?" Daryl exclaimed, obviously hearing it too.

"Let us out! Help!" I heard someone yelling as they banged the container.

"Keep going!" Rick yelled at us.

We got inside the building once again and found ourselves in a really spooky room. There were lit candles everywhere and there were names written on the centre of the room in a circular way. There were words written on the walls too, it read. 'NEVER AGAIN. NEVER TRUST. WE FIRST, ALWAYS.'

" What the hell is this place?" Daryl asked.

"These people, I don't think they're trying to kill us," Michonne told us.

"No," Rick said, agreeing with Michonne. "They were aiming at our feet."

"But why?" I asked. "It couldn't be because out of the goodness of their heart."

"There," Rick exclaimed, pointing at a different door than the one we walked in.

As we started walking towards the door, I saw someone on the other side, the unknown man closed the door before we could reach it, once again I cursed.

"There!" Daryl exclaimed, finding another way out of here.

"Go!" Rick yelled.

As soon as we stepped out of the room to the railroads tracks, we were being shot once again. I followed Daryl closely, who had to stop because right on the other side of the fence were several armed men, there were men on the roof too. We were cornered, they got us to go exactly where they wanted us to go, to the end of this place. We stood there, defeated. I tried to think of anything but nothing came to mind, we were screwed.

Rick turned to look at Carl, who was pretty scared, not only we had a horrible night and now this. I turned to look at Daryl and tried to be strong, I didn't want him to see me scared but I was. I was right next to Carl and at least three metres away from Daryl, I just wanted to run to him and kiss him one last time.

"Drop your weapons! Now!" I heard Gareth yelling at us.

We all looked at each other hesitantly then, we had unconsciously formed some kind of circle so we could all see the others without a problem. None of us dropped our weapons, we knew it was the only guarantee of something, but at the same time we knew they would kill us before we could kill them, we were in such a vulnerable position and we were outnumbered.

"Now!"

Angrily with the fact we were screwed and got nothing else to do, Daryl threw an arrow to the ground, and then put his crossbow down on the ground. We all did the same, I put my gun down next to Carl's but kept my blade, I had hidden it in the same spot when we got to the room full of candles.

"Ringleader, go to your left," Gareth yelled to Rick. I turned to my right, though, and saw a red container. "The train car, go."

Rick didn't move, though. They were going to keep us hostage but why? It would be so much easier to just kill us. Were they going to torture us for Alex? For what I did to that man? I didn't even know if he was alive or not.

"You do what we say, the kids go with you." It was weird being called a kid, since nobody had called me that in so long, but they probably assumed we were Rick's children. "Anything else, they die and you end up in there anyway."

Rick took deep breaths as he looked from Gareth to the both of us. He nodded at us slowly before he looked at Gareth once again, I wanted to hug Carl and keep him safe but I was scared they would shoot me if I moved, so instead I slowly grabbed Carl's hand, he gave mine a squeeze as we saw Rick walking to the red train car.

"Now the archer!"

I turned to look at Daryl, who also hesitated, but he didn't look back at me. He looked at Gareth the whole time, glaring at him before he went the same way as Rick, that left Michonne, Carl and me.

"Now the samurai!" Well, now that just left Carl and me.

Michonne's glare was even worse than Daryl's but she started walking almost immediately, by then Rick had already reached the train car. I noticed how Carl got really nervous when he realized only 'the kids' had been left behind.

"Stand at the door, ringleader, archer, samurai, in that order!" Gareth yelled as Michonne also reached the train car, after Daryl did.

I got even more nervous when I wasn't called to go after them. I bit my lip, let go of Carl's hand and put both of my hands on his shoulders, really slowly so none of them would think I was up to something. Carl was wearing the Sheriff hat, I really had no idea how it didn't fall off during the chaos a few minutes ago but right now I really had other things to worry about. I saw how Rick stood in front of some steps that led to the inside of the train car, Daryl stood behind him and Michonne, behind Daryl.

"My kids!" Rick yelled, looking at the both of us. I knew Rick loved me as a daughter and I loved him as a father, so I wasn't surprised when he referred me as his own child.

"Go!" We heard Gareth yelling after a very long and stressful silence.

I took a breath of relief that I was going to be with them when I heard him saying that. One of my hands dropped to my side while the other stayed around Carl's shoulders as we slowly made it to where the others were.

"Ringleader, open the door and go in!" Gareth yelled even when we hadn't reached the other three.

"I'll go in with them!" Rick yelled, probably thinking that as soon as they were going in, they were going to keep Carl and I apart from them.

"Don't make us kill them now!"

Rick's expression turned into an even worse glare. He angrily went up the five steps in front him and opened the door, he never stopped looking at us as he walked in. Daryl only took a quick glance at me before he also went in, Michonne kept looking from Gareth to us as she went up the steps as well. We still hadn't made it there when all of them had gotten inside.

I dropped my hand to the side and I let Carl go in first, he grabbed my hand with his before he went up the steps. I turned to look at Gareth one last time and gave him the finger before I also stepped in. As soon as we did, Rick put his hands on our shoulders and pulled us farther from the door, which was closed rapidly after I stepped in.

Once it was closed, Daryl's arms embraced me and pulled me closer to him, I buried my face in his chest as I hugged him back. Rick, who now had his other hand free, hugged Carl with both his arms.

"You okay?" Daryl whispered to me, I nodded.

"You?"

"Yeah."

I heard noises on the other end of the train car, making me jerk up my head but none of us let go of each other, I even tighten my hold around Daryl and he brought me closer to him, as he left an arm around my waist and rested his other on the back of my neck.

I saw a figure walking towards us, it was so dark in here that I barely saw them, even when the person was only a few feet away from us. As the person got closer, I could tell it was a slender man, around my height.

"Rick?" I heard him saying, I gasped when I heard that voice. A part of me was happy he was alive and well but another part wasn't so glad to see him here, trapped too. Then we heard a second person walking towards us, followed by a third, these two were girls.

"You're here," Rick said. "You're here," Rick repeated, but with more security.

With an arm around Daryl's waist, and he having his around my own waist, we took a few steps to meet Glenn, Maggie and Sasha. As we did, other people approached us too. It took me a while to recognize Bob, because he stayed behind the other three and it was so dark in here. There were four more people I didn't know, two men and two women.

But as they all got closer I recognized one of the girls, I turned to look at Rick, who looked back at me, he slightly nodded at me but we both decided to ignore it for now. One of them was the girl Rick talked to when we both were called by the Governor, we were the only two that could see her well that day. Michonne, Daryl and Carl hadn't really seen her during the chaos and had no idea who she was.

"They're our friends," Maggie told us, probably noticing us watching them, especially the girl Rick and I recognized. "They helped save us."

"Yeah," Daryl said. "Now they're friends of ours."

"For however long that'll be," one of the men said.

"No," Rick told him. "They're gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out."

"Find out what?" that same man asked.

"They're screwing with the wrong people," Rick exclaimed, turning to look from a little space between the train car's walls, to the large group.

I felt something going inside of me when I heard those words, I knew we would think of something and get out, the question was, though, how many of us would make it out?

A few minutes later the tension inside here decreased, by now my eyes had adapted to the lack of light here and I could see better. I smiled at Glenn, let go of Daryl and went to hug him. He hugged me tightly, telling me how glad he was that I was alive.

"How long have you been here?" I asked him.

"About four days or so," Glenn told me.

"Do you know why they have us here?"

"We are not sure yet," Sasha replied to me.

I smiled at Sasha despite the circumstances, during the last few months we had gotten really close. Since Michonne kept so much to herself, it was nice to have someone to listen to you but also to tell you things, something Michonne didn't do often and Michonne was more time away from all of us than with us when she went on those runs to find the Governor, so our relationship wasn't as strong anymore but mine with Sasha grew.

"It's good to see you," she told me with a smile.

"Yeah, you too," I said, returning the smile.

She hugged me tightly, thing we hadn't done before and then I was embraced by Maggie. I was never close to Bob and I didn't know the others, so I didn't even got closer to them.  
Rick, Carl and Michonne sat down with their backs pressed against a wall, Carl was in between them. Daryl was on his feet, facing that same wall, he had an arm over his forehead as he leant on the wall, probably thinking, while I stayed with Sasha. She asked if I had seen Tyreese but unfortunately I hadn't.

Now that all of us were more calm, Glenn finally introduced those new people to us, and us to them. The man that had talked earlier with red hair was called Abraham, the other guy's name was Eugene. The first man looked really tough and like he could keep himself safe, but the other, not so much. Then she introduced the girl with two pigtails, shorts and a cap, her name was Rosita.

"And this is Tara," Glenn exclaimed with a smile. "She helped me find Maggie."

I faked a smile when Glenn said her name, she probably recognized Rick and me too because she couldn't see us in the eye, whenever I caught her looking at me, she just looked down to the ground quickly.

"And guys that's Rick, his son Carl, that's Michonne," Glenn said, pointing at each one of us. "And he's Daryl and this one is Cecilia."

Abraham shook my hand, he was close to me, Eugene waved, Rosita smiled at me and waved as well but Tara didn't look at me. Anyone would have thought she was just shy, or scared, but we knew why she was like that.  
"We thought we heard your voice, Rick," Maggie said. "But we couldn't be sure."

"Then we saw you walk in," Glenn added. "We couldn't believe it."

Sasha and I sat down, one in front of the other, Glenn also joined us, sitting next to me, while Maggie talked with Rosita and Abraham about something. Eugene and Tara stayed together in one corner, while Bob went to talk to Rick.

Sasha asked me how I got out and what happened to me, to us, since the prison incident. Glenn also looked interested by what I had to tell them. I told them pretty much everything I could remember, just leaving out some things, like Judith's bloody carrier, the way Carl acted towards Rick the first days and that a man tried to rape Carl, and that eventually it would happen to Michonne and me as well and that I bumped into my ex-boyfriend and that I killed him.

But I told them that we found a house, some men got in and we killed two of their men, told them last night they found us and wanted revenge but we managed to get out of that situation and also told them it was just last night that we found Daryl. I told them everything that happened between those events and eventually each one of them told us what happened to them too.

Glenn told me he and Tara got out together and were found by Abraham, Rosita and Eugene and formed some kind of alliance for a short time but they kept together for longer than expected.

Sasha told me that she got out with Maggie and Bob. Maggie actually left them to look for Glenn and they luckily found her hours later, reuniting once again. They also told me how they ran into those three people I didn't know before and they led them to Glenn and Tara, who were inside a tunnel, fighting walkers.

"I thought Tyreese could be here," Sasha told me. "That's why I came."  
"I'm sorry," I muttered softly.

Night fell before Glenn finished his part of the story, this place was getting colder and colder and way darker, I could barely see two steps in front of me, if that. When I went back to Daryl, I also tripped with Maggie, I just didn't see her. I apologized and then walked a few more steps to get to Daryl.

I sat next to him and rested my head on his shoulder. It didn't take me long to start shivering though, and Daryl noticed. He removed his leather vest and tried to put it on me.

"I'm fine," I told him, I knew how much he loved that vest, I had never worn it before.

"No, you're not, now put it on or I'll leave it on the floor." I sighed. I slightly turned my body and allowed Daryl to help me put it on me, I didn't feel much difference at first but then I noticed how my body was slowly getting warmer and warmer.

"It seems like you were right all along," Daryl told me.

"At least we found each other before this," I whispered. "At least we are together."

Daryl said nothing to me, he just put his arm around my shoulders, bringing me closer to him, and kissed my left temple. I looked up at him and pecked his lips.

As the hours passed, Daryl finally fell asleep. I slowly moved him, so he wasn't sat anymore, but lying down and with his head on my lap. He woke up but fell asleep only a minute after. I bent down and kissed his forehead and then ran my hands through his long straight hair, cherishing that he was by my side now.

Hello guys! I'm updating today because I'm going to the beach next week for the Easter holidays.

Please comment what you think of the chapter, about Daryl and Cecilia now that they are back together.  
Next chapter will be full with action and drama, :)

QOTD: What was your first thought of Terminus?


	31. Chapter 31 - WHAT?

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."

― Robert Louis Stevenson

Even before sunrise, all of us started talking about a plan, we discussed how to attack them and trying to find a way out, it seemed like some sleep helped us. I didn't sleep, though, I couldn't. I was scared they would come and get us during the night, when we were more vulnerable because of the lack of light but nobody came. Besides, the three times I tried to sleep all I saw was us getting killed, it was better to stay awake.

Daryl, who had slept all night with his head on my lap, opened his eyes and smiled a bit at me when he saw me looking down at him, he sat up and kissed me on the forehead. He asked me if I had slept and I lied, I told him I had, I knew he would feel like he was to blame for my lack of sleep.

Afterwards, all of us looked in the few belongings we still had left, trying to find things that we could use as weapons. The men used the buckles of their belts and other stuff we had found in here, including some nails and sticks, I still had my small blade with me, so that was good.

"I'll be right back," Daryl told me, I nodded at him and stayed next to Sasha.

From my spot, I followed him with my gaze and saw him walking towards Maggie. I could hear Daryl informing her that her sister was taken in a car and assured her that Beth was alive when she asked him if she was in fact still alive. I was a bit upset he didn't tell me that, he could have, especially because I had asked what had happened to her, but I shrugged it off and focused on our problems at hand. I didn't even know why it was affecting me so much and making me so angry.

I loved Beth and I was glad she was still alive, wherever she was, and I hoped that she was okay but ever since Daryl mentioned he escaped with her, whenever he talked about her I got a feeling inside of me, making me upset, and that feeling just got worse when Daryl got all uncomfortable when I asked about it and refused to tell me more about it. I looked from Daryl to Sasha, who had asked me something, stopping me from thinking about Daryl for at least a few seconds.

As more time passed, Daryl moved closer to me and stayed on watch, looking out the train car in case people came to us. I grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, he glanced down at me for a second before he continued to look through a small space between the door and the rest of the train car.

"All right, got four of them pricks coming our way," Daryl informed us a few minutes later, letting go of my hand. I stood up quickly and looked through the small space and indeed, four men were coming here, three looked to be around their late twenties or thirties, and only one looked to be around fifty.

"Y'all know what to do," Rick exclaimed. "Go for their eyes first, then their throats."

"Put your backs to the walls on either side of the car now!" We heard a man yelling outside.

But none of us did as we were told, we got on position with our weapons ready, Daryl grabbed me by my biceps and pulled me closer to him. He turned to look at me and in a quick movement, kissed my lips. Daryl didn't give me time to kiss back as he broke it just as quick. I could only hope this wasn't just a type of good-bye kiss or any of the sort.

We were just waiting for the door to be opened when we heard footsteps on the roof of this thing, then we saw a door from the roof being opened, I looked up but saw no one, just the light blue sky above us. Then I saw a gas bomb being thrown inside.

"Shit," I cursed, as usual.

"Move!" Abraham yelled.

We all ran to the very back of the train car, Daryl tried to protect me but realistically he couldn't do much. I heard the explosion and tried to cover my nose but it didn't really work at all, only seconds later I started feeling really dizzy. I tried to fight the feeling, I tried to stay conscious, I kept telling myself to stay away, that it was going to be over soon but with every second passing by, it just got harder and harder until I just lost consciousness and fell on the floor, next to Daryl and Glenn.

When I opened my eyes, even though I was like if I had been drugged and my eyesight was blurry and I was very disorientated I could tell I wasn't in the train car anymore. My surroundings weren't dark and I could feel like I was being moved, I looked around and saw some people by a table but everything was so foggy I could barely tell what was in front of me. I turned to my left and saw that indeed I was being carried, one of the four men I saw earlier was holding me by my ankles and another one was gripping me from my armpits, but I couldn't really see his face. As I was being taken somewhere, I also heard people talking but the sound was muffled and I couldn't understand what they were saying, but I could tell they were all male.

Then, seconds later, or so I thought, the two men stopped and I felt how they just dropped me on the ground, making me slightly wake up a bit more. I tried to stand up but one of them pushed me down to the ground again, while the other tied my hands. Then they forced me to get on my knees and felt how they were tying my feet together. I tried to struggle and to scream as they were starting to pull me again but I was too weak compared to them and I realized I had a rag on my mouth.

I felt how consciousness was slowly returning to me and noticed I was placed in between Rick and Daryl, who were struggling hard to break free, there were more people here but I didn't know them, except Glenn and Bob. We were knelt in front of a bright steel trough and I could only tell that the reason for this thing was more horrible than what I could ever imagine, I could feel it.

The men of Terminus started grabbing long knives and sharpening them, at the sight of it my consciousness came back to me all at once, it almost felt like a slap on the face . I started to freak out badly and hyperventilate, I moved my hands trying to break free but it was completely useless. I turned to look at Daryl, and believe me I could count with my fingers of only one hand the times I had seen Daryl truly scared, or at least as scared as he was now, which wasn't reassuring at all, which was what I was looking for, something to tell me that we were going to be okay, because I wasn't so sure about that and I needed to stay positive.

"All right," someone said and the two men behind us, that were wearing plastic coats stained with blood, walked to the first guy of the row. He had platinum blonde hair and couldn't be much older than me.

As I looked all the way to him, on my left, I realized all of the people here were men, I was the only girl in here, but all those thoughts were abruptly interrupted when one of the two men, hit the guy in the head with a baseball bat, knocking him out, making me jump at their actions, but that wasn't the worst, the other man, grabbed him by his short blonde hair, and slit his throat open without even blinking, he let go of his hair, letting his body fall forward, leant against the edge of the trough, the guy's blood dripped inside, quickly creating a big puddle of blood. I looked in complete horror, completely paralysed until I reacted and tried to scream but it was muffled and came out like a girly squeal because of the rag in my mouth. I wanted to act tough and brave, so I could die with honour but for a few seconds I didn't give a shit about that.

If possible, Daryl got even more scared. He had never been so scared in his life, or at least since I met him. I turned to look at Rick instead, and he looked a mix of scared and pissed off but to my reassurance he looked more pissed than scared, Bob, who was next to Rick, looked like he was pissing himself at the moment.

The two men moved to the next guy and quickly killed him the same way, when I saw all the blood coming out of him, I felt how my eyes watered, as all the reassurance I got from Rick only a couple of seconds ago, vaporized. Rapidly, the two men moved to the third man, repeating the process again. I almost lost it when the blood from the killed men had reached the part of the trough in front of me and slowly reached the drain. As it started to go down the drain, I heard the sound of it falling to a pipe or something, making me more uneasy, I took deep breaths to calm myself, I had to keep my cool and think of something.

I realized then that Daryl was going to be killed before me, the last seconds of my life were going to be the worst, with Daryl dead by my side. Just the thought of it made me start crying, making him look at me. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, trying to think of nice memories I had shared with him as I felt him trying to get closer to me, until our arms were touching.

I thought of our first kiss as a couple, that was the first memory I thought of. Then I remembered when he took me to that lake where we swam and almost kissed, and when he proposed to me and when we took our first picture together, and when Daryl found me in the woods and he hugged me for the very first time and when I finally reunited with him only two nights ago, even when the circumstances weren't good at all, I couldn't be happier about finding him.

"Hey, guys." Gareth's voice made me open my eyes and lift my head and look in his direction. He was writing things down on a notebook as he walked in. He wasn't even looking at us. "What were your shot counts?"

"Thirty-eight," one of the men that were killing us replied, and then they moved to the fourth men, I heard that horrible sound when they killed him, making me shut my eyes again for a few more seconds.

I opened them again to see the two men moving to Glenn, I turned away, not wanting to see how my best male friend got killed. Instead, I looked at Gareth. I didn't want to see down at the blood going down the drain either, even when I could hear it perfectly, I didn't want to look at Daryl and Glenn on my left or at Rick on my right, and I couldn't just close my eyes because I was only seeing bad things, so I concentrated on Gareth.

"Hey! Your shot count?"

"Crap, man, I'm sorry," the other man said, the one that was slitting the throats. "It was my first round-up."

"After you're done here, go back to your point and count the shells," Gareth told him, just getting a bit frustrated with him. "Kaylee won't be gathering them until tomorrow."

"Hey!" I heard Bob's muffled voice trying to yell. "Hey, let me talk to you."

"Five from A, four from D?" Gareth asked, ignoring Bob as he wrote more things down after he took a glance at us.

"Yeah."

"Thought we were just getting men today," Gareth told the two men as he looked down at me before he turned his gaze to the two men behind us.

"She killed Douglas, Gareth. We didn't think it was prudent to leave her in there," the one with the baseball bat told Gareth. Great, so I did in fact killed him, it wasn't my intention tough.

"Such a shame, she's such a beauty but it has to be done."

I ignored Gareth's words and instead thought of something else. Since these would be my last couple of minutes alive, I started to ask for forgiveness for all the people I had killed, including Peter, even when he deserved it, that Douglas guy, the girl at the prison that tried to kill me, the other guy of Joe's group, the two men back at Woodbury, just everyone. I could only hope to see Sophia again soon and reunite with Daryl on the other side, maybe Merle would meet us there and finally we would just rest from this constant battle against humans and the dead.

"Hey, let me talk to you for a minute," Bob insisted. "Let me talk to you for a minute. Let me talk to you for a minute."

It seemed like all that begging worked and made an effect on Gareth, even if it was just annoyance. Gareth did look rather annoyed at Bob, he rolled his eyes as he approached him, and removed the dirty rag from his mouth.

"What?"

"Don't do this. We can fix this."

"No, you can't."

"You don't have to do this." Bob raised his voice when Gareth was going to put the rag back in his mouth. "We told you there's a way out of all this. You just have to take a chance. We have a man who knows how to stop it. He has a cure." Well, I didn't know that, was he making it up or was it really true? "We just have to get him to Washington. You don't have to do this, man. We can put the world back to how it was."

As Bob spoke to him, Gareth turned his gaze towards me. I silently pleaded with my eyes as I looked right into his brown eyes. I really didn't want to die and in such a heartless way. As he looked at me I got an idea and I could only hope that it would work, not just for me but for the others too.

"Can't go back, Bob," Gareth said, breaking eye-contact with me, slightly leaning forward to put the rag back in his mouth once again.

"We can! You don't have to do this!" Bob's voice came out muffled again this time.

"Hmm, seems like the princess here also wants to say her last words," Gareth said, looking right at me one more time. I could feel how Daryl's muscles tensed when he called me 'princess' as his arm was right next to mine but I couldn't care less about how he called me. "Cecilia, right? Just give me a second, I need to speak to Rick first."

Gareth stood right in front of Rick, bent his knees so he could be at our level, and removed the rag from Rick's mouth. Rick didn't beg like Bob had pathetically done and failed, actually he didn't say a single word and the look on his eyes radiated confidence and self-trust, unlike probably all of us.

"We saw you go into the woods with a bag and come out without it," Gareth told him. "Had to pull my spotters back before we could go look for it. What was in it?" Rick didn't speak. "You hid it, right? In case things went bad? Smart. Still, we'll find it," Gareth told him with confidence. "But it's too dangerous to go out there right now."

Gareth then suddenly took out a knife and grabbed Bob by the back of his neck and pulled Bob towards him, holding the knife close to Bob's left eye. I suppressed a big breath as I saw the scene in front of me, not only he was willing to kill us, but also to torture us.

"What was in it? I'm curious and it was a big bag," Gareth said, looking at Rick, who at the moment seemed conflicted. "You really gonna let me do this?"

"Well, let me take you out there," Rick said, his voice was firm and he didn't stutter at all. I was surprised at how Rick was taking this, they were going to kill us in a matter of minutes and he still didn't look scare at all. "I'll show you."

"Not gonna happen. This might," Gareth said the last part as he got the knife closer to Bob's eye.

"There's guns in it. AK-47. .44 Magnum. Automatic weapons. Nightscope. There's a compound bow, a crossbow, arrows and a machete with a red handle," Rick told him. "That's what I'm gonna use to kill you."

I just turned to look at Rick, with my eyes wide opened at his statement, not only he had threatened Gareth but by his tone, I could tell Rick was completely sure he was going to do just that. Gareth didn't look scared at all, we were tied, we were vulnerable, defenceless and helpless. I saw how the corners of his lips slowly curved and broke into a smile, followed by a chuckle, of course that he found it funny.

"Thanks," Gareth exclaimed, as he put the rag back into Rick's mouth and patted his shoulders with both hands.

Then he slowly moved to his right and stopped until he was right in front of me, his grin came back as he looked into my blue eyes, that were probably bloodshot right now, there were still tears in them that were threatening to fall out. He raised his arms and slowly got the red rag out of my mouth. I took a deep breath after he did so, it felt nice.

"Alright, sweetheart, I'm all yours now."

Daryl tensed even more at his words but luckily he didn't move or even tried to say something to Gareth, Rick looked a bit tense right now as well, but I wasn't. It was a bit uncomfortable, though, to have Gareth so close to me and having him look at me so intensively, but this was the only card I had and I got to play it well, my life and theirs depended on that.

"I'm sorry about your friend, I really didn't mean it," I told him in the most sincere way I could master, hoping he would really believe me. "We just saw your people here had our friends' things and we just... snapped, you know? We believed you had killed them and eventually you will kill us too."

"Okay, apology accepted. Now go to the chase," he ordered me. "Because I know you just don't want to apologize, what else do you want to tell me?"

"I'm not going to beg but I'm asking you to not kill me," I told him as I looked right into his chocolate brown eyes, that somehow weren't cold or empty, actually they looked rather warm.

I was actually pretty shocked at how firm my voice was, I was freaking out inside, I was even shaking before I started talking to Gareth, so I had no idea how I was achieving to be so calm at the moment.

"Give me just one good enough reason not to do it," Gareth told me, he never looked away from me and I didn't either until then. "And I won't kill you."

What I was going to say, wasn't easy. I was more scared of Daryl's reaction than Gareth's. I bit my lip, took a deep breath and looked down at the ground for just a second, because I saw all the blood going down the drain, which I had forgotten, making me look up quickly and feel a bit nauseated. Gareth smirked when I looked back at him, making me feel less assured for a few seconds.

"Well?" I gulped.

"I am... I'm pregnant," I said in a quick breath, and then bit my lip out of nervousness.

Gareth looked really surprised at my confession, more surprised than I expected, his lips slightly parted and his eyes got twice as big and they reflected how shocked he was at the moment. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. I looked at Gareth the whole time but I even saw out of the corner of my eye, Glenn leaning towards me with a shocked expression, his eyes widening to a size I really think it wasn't possible for him, he even gasped.

For a second I looked at Daryl, he looked completely stunned. His mouth was open and he looked hopeless, of course this wasn't good news, not at this very moment. I saw him slightly shaking his head in disbelief. He refused to look back at me, he just kept staring in front of him, at nothing in particular, though. I wanted to hold him and tell him everything was going to be alright, but I couldn't do that.

I couldn't risk being seen like this, so I quickly turned to look at Rick, he wasn't surprised of course, he knew, I had to tell him but he looked surprised I had brought it up and was using it as a last resort weapon. I kept my gaze on Rick longer than on Daryl, hoping that Gareth wouldn't realize Daryl and I were an item.

This wasn't the way I wanted Daryl to know, yesterday Rick had told me to tell Daryl soon about it because things would just get harder if I waited, and right now I wish I had listened to Rick and told Daryl. This wasn't a nice way to find out, but I suppose it was better to know than dying without never finding out.

"Rick," Gareth muttered after he composed himself, he looked from me to the ground, back to me, then to Rick. I took the chance that he wasn't looking at me to reach for my small blade, which was in the waistband of my jeans, I was lucky I didn't take it out earlier. "Congratulations, you are going to be a grandad. Seems like you didn't know."

Apparently the people here had created in their minds the idea that Rick was my father and still believed it and Rick kind of confirmed it yesterday before walking inside the train car when he referred to Carl and me as 'his kids'. Rick, Carl and I had blue eyes, Carl and I had freckles and I acted really protective of him yesterday, so it was normal to assume we were all related. Of course, I didn't have a problem with them thinking we were father and daughter, and neither did Rick. After all, I loved Rick as if he were my father and I loved Carl as I loved Sophia.

"Is he the father?" Gareth asked, nodding towards Daryl, probably noticing the few times I had glanced in Daryl's direction.

I turned to look at him for a second before looking back at Gareth, who hadn't stopped looking at me. Daryl's colour had drained completely and he looked like he was going to be sick, I also noticed how Daryl's ocean blue eyes shined, meaning he was close to crying.

I bit my lip as I hesitated, I wasn't sure if I should lie or if it was better to tell the truth. I had a bad feeling, like if I told him that Daryl was in fact the father, he would kill him right away, probably just out of fun or because I killed a man here, or maybe because that would be the price I would have to pay to keep myself alive, and honestly I wasn't willing to pay that price.

"No," I told him curtly. "The father is not around anymore. Daryl here, he, uh, he just has taken care of me since John was bit and killed. I have known him since the very start and he has been my friend all this time."

I didn't even know why I picked John as the name of my baby's imaginary father, but the way I said it, without even stuttering or hesitating, made me really believable, or so I hoped.

"Hmm," he muttered.

"You won't kill a pregnant girl, will you, Gareth?" I said, looking right at his eyes once again and allowed myself to smile a bit, it was mostly out of nerves.

"Well," Gareth muttered, as he ran his hands on his chin, as he thought. "I could keep you until it's born, then we could kill you and keep the baby, because we really aren't bad people or you could agree to our terms and be kept alive."

"What are your terms?" I asked in a business-like tone.

"Oh right, we didn't have the chance to tell you yesterday because of your little show," Gareth said with a smile. "You only have to say yes, simple as that."

"Yes to what?" I asked, getting a little bit nervous, I only hoped this would also help keeping the others alive, as many as I could save.

Gareth grinned at me, making me feel bad chills running up and down my spine. He grabbed the trough's edge for support as he slowly leant forward, getting closer to me. I bit my lip, getting extremely uncomfortable with Gareth's sudden proximity. Gareth grinned at me as he looked right at my eyes but then tilted his head slightly to his left, his lips were only a couple of inches away from my right ear now.

"You have to agree to..." he said that loud, I was sure Rick heard it but then he lowered his voice so only I could hear him. "...eat people."

Instantly, I moved my body backwards, getting away from him, almost falling down and dropping my blade on the ground. I gasped and looked in utter shock at Gareth, who returned to his original position and just shrugged at me, his cheeky grin never left his lips.

Million of thoughts crossed my mind in just a matter of seconds, I didn't know what to do anymore. That was really crazy, so that's what we were going to become, their meal. That's why they didn't shoot us yesterday when we first came in, it would 'ruin' us.

"Alright." I heard Gareth saying as he stood up, using the edge of the trough for support.

Instead of grabbing my blade with only two fingers, I pushed it further into my hand and closed my fingers around it, to hid it, Gareth couldn't see I had it. He smiled at me like if I was a young kid that had done something well and then he walked around the steel trough and stopped right behind me. He grabbed me by my elbows and pulled me up, then turned me around to face him.

"I understand it might be a shock at first but I'm willing to give you a chance only if you are willing to try. I already forgave you for killing Douglas and the others will too, leaving it behind us, like I said, we are good people."

"It might take some time," I said nervously, this time failing to keep eye-contact with him.

"You are really pretty, Cecilia. I would hate to waste that beauty by killing you."

"I'm wi-willing to tr-try," I stuttered. "Just one thing."

"What?"

"Don't ask me to eat my friends," I whispered, looking from Gareth to Rick. Daryl and Glenn were behind me and out of my sight.

"You got yourself a deal," he told me as his smile returned. "Perfect, because being pretty doesn't mean tasting better," he whispered in my ear, making me feel sick to my stomach. "At least most of the time."

I seriously wasn't sure my plan was going to work, but apparently it did and I was glad I wasn't becoming their dinner but now I had to figure out how to save my friends and my fiancée, that was my top priority right now, saving the others back in the train car wasn't as urgent at the moment, unless they were in another room exactly like this one but I doubted it.

Gareth grabbed me by my right biceps and pulled me with him, I glanced at Daryl and saw he looked slightly relieved that I wasn't going to be killed, at least for now. Gareth stood in front of the trough again and looked at the two men behind Rick, Daryl, Glenn and Bob.

"What about them?" I asked, turning to look at Gareth.

"I'm sorry," Gareth said emotionless, he even had a small smile on his lips.

"What about my dad?" I exclaimed, looking at Rick with tears in my eyes. I once heard or read that guys can't really resist girls crying, so this was my second card, a bit pathetic but I had to try everything I could.

"I can't do anything for him, he's dangerous to this community."

"But you can't kill my dad," I muttered as I broke down crying. "And they are my friends, they mean a lot to me."

Gareth looked really uncomfortable and wasn't sure what to do, it was obvious a crying pregnant girl made him uneasy. He slowly put his hands on top of my shoulders, I looked up at him after I tried to wipe my tears with my left shoulder, since my hands were still tied. He bit his lips and turned to look at his men instead.

"You have two hours to get them on the driers. I'm gonna go back to public face," he said, making my heart drop. "Now's the time we can get messy, but we need to dial it all in by sundown. Got it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Wait!" I exclaimed quickly, stopping Gareth from leaving the room. I really wasn't sure what I was going to tell him to convince him to not kill them but whatever I was coming with, didn't matter. We heard gunshots in the distance, making Gareth look from me to somewhere behind me. I also stopped trying to think of some excuse to keep them alive and instead focused on the noise.

Gareth looked a bit surprised by the gunshots and for the first time I didn't see him calm and confident. I heard more and more gunshots, they were getting a bit closer, Gareth got his walkie-talkie while I prayed that Carl and everyone out there were alright. I turned to look at Daryl one more time before I heard a huge explosion that made the floor beneath us and everything else to shake violently, making me fall down on the ground, I just grabbed the blade tightly so I wouldn't drop it, not caring if I cut myself in the process.

As I fell down, all I could think was, what now?

Hello guys! I'm back once again! I had the best holidays. Stayed in the city for a few days then we went to the beach, which is only an hour away and then back to the city for a day. As usual I didn't want the holidays to end, but this time I almost cried because I spent such a good time with my mum's cousin and his family, I will miss them terribly. :(  
And well, the way back wasn't as smooth because before going to the beach there were a couple of quakes and thankfully when we were in the beach, there was a stronger quake in the city so we didn't feel it or the quakes that follow it, some things well and it was a chaos in the city but we were alright.  
So, a very big rock fell on the highway we use to go to the border, so we had to go to another one, and this one was farther and there was a lot of traffic and yeah.

Anyway, did you like the chapter? What do you think of it? What do you think of Cecilia's confession? What do you think Daryl is thinking right now?

As usual, thanks for reading it, for commenting and to my Wattpad readers, for voting! 3


	32. Chapter 32 - Escaping

"Life is at its best when everything has fallen out of place, and you decide that you're going to fight to get them right,

not when everything is going your way and everyone is praising you."

-Thisuri Wanniarachchi

After I fell and hit the ground, I was a bit disorientated and my ears were slightly ringing. I looked around me and noticed Rick and Daryl had fallen down as well and were on the ground now, while Glenn still was over the edge of the trough, on his knees.

Gareth was the first to react, he stood up quickly. His face only showed panic and disconcert, the other two men also looked pretty scared, especially the one who had slitted the throat of those four men. Gareth turned to look from them to me. I was on my left side, on the floor. As soon as he stopped looking at me, though, I grabbed my blade with two of my fingers and started cutting my ties around my wrists, as I did I found out that it seemed way easier in my head.

"You stay here!" Gareth ordered the guys that had killed the four other men.

"Gareth, these guys aren't going anywhere!" one of them exclaimed.

"Stay here until I know what's happening!" Gareth ordered them before he ran out of the room and silently I cursed. If only he would have allowed them to go with him and leave us alone in here.

"So we just sit here?"

"Got a job to do," the man with the baseball bat told the other man.

I kept moving the blade up and down, rubbing it against the ties, I almost got it. Right now I didn't even care if those two men noticed what I was doing. They were too preoccupied with what was going on outside to notice me, though.

"You there, Gareth?" one of them talked through the walkie-talkie.

"He's busy."

"You smell the smoke? You hear the shots? He could be dead! The hell we doing here? The whole place could be going up!"

That man was really losing his shit, but on the bright side, none of them were even looking at any of us, and they hadn't returned to do their 'job', which would be killing Glenn first and then Daryl. One of them had started to pace around the room and the other followed him, trying to calm him down.

I smiled and sighed out of relief as I finally managed to cut the ties. I sat up, still with my hands behind my back so they wouldn't see I had broken free. Slowly, I moved my feet close to my hands so I could also cut those ties as well.

"You went on one roundup and you blew protocol. We don't deal with security. That ain't our job. This is."

One of the men walked away from the other angrily, wanting to go out there and help their people, while the other knew his place and wanted to wait for the others to fix the problem. I took the chance to stand up slowly so they wouldn't focus on me until I wanted them to.

"Hey, look at me!"

As the man was turning around, I grabbed the blade firmly in my hand and without a second thought I threw it at the man who wanted to go out and help, I wanted to hit him in the face, around the eye area but I ended up hitting him in the neck. As I saw him starting bleeding, I realized that small blade could make more damaged than I imagined it would do. Out of pure luck, I hit and cut his jugular artery, making lots of blood to pour out of his neck. I turned to look at the other man, he stared in shock at his dying friend, I guess that's another man on my killing list, then he turned to look at me with such hatred I was scared of him. I guess that if we don't manage to escape I won't be able to convince Gareth to keep me alive a second time.

The man took a single step towards me, raising the baseball bat, ready to hit me with it when Rick stood up from behind the man and stabbed him in the neck with a hand-made wooden stake. Rick made sure the man was dead before he ran to Glenn to free him.

I ran to the man, grabbed my little blade that was right next to him on the floor, under a large puddle of bright red blood, I cleaned it with my shirt as I ran to Daryl. I knelt behind him and cut the ties around his hands first and then the one around his feet, once his hands were free he removed the rag around his mouth. Glenn was already up while Rick helped Bob.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I kept repeating as I cut Daryl's ties. I was apologizing for almost failing to save them.

Daryl stood quickly and then grabbed me by my elbows and quickly helped me up to my feet, saying nothing to me, then all of us walked to a table, there were several knives in there. This blade had proved to be useful but who knew what was out there, so I grabbed one of the biggest knives in here.

From outside I could hear several gunshots from different parts of this place, some were close to us, some not so much and others were barely audible. I also heard several people screaming, men and women and the distinctive snarling of walkers. Apparently the explosion had brought some part of this place down and let the walkers in.

That was a distraction, giving us time to escape but I wasn't sure if I should be too glad about this kind of distraction. From what I was hearing, I could tell there were many walkers out of here and that could be as dangerous to them as to us, or even more to us because we didn't have our guns, or in Daryl's case, his crossbow.

"If they got problems, we got a chance," Rick told us.

"It sounded like a bomb," Glenn said.

"Sounds like a damn war," Daryl said.

"But who would bomb them?" I asked.

"Maybe someone who knows what they really do," Glenn told me.

"What the hell are these people?" Bob hysterically asked.

"They ain't people," Daryl replied.

Bob had also grabbed a knife and was going to stab the man Rick killed in the head when Rick stopped him. "Don't," he exclaimed quickly. "Let him turn."

We jogged out of that room and got inside another, separated with a fenced-door. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw what was inside, I unconsciously gasped as I covered my mouth with my hands. The sight in front of me was horrible and traumatizing. There were human torsos hanging from the ceiling. The other parts of the bodies, like the arms, legs, heads, were nowhere in sight. There were also like one hundred more knives in here. This whole place was so spooky and terrifying, it kind of reminded me of the 'Deer Cooler' Andrea, Michonne and I stayed for a while before finding Rick, Carl, Daryl and the others again at the prison, that was before Woodbury, except there weren't corpses anymore in there, and even if they were, at least they wouldn't be human remains.

"Cross any of these people, you kill them," Rick told us. "Don't hesitate. They won't."

I decided it would be a good idea to grab a second or even a third knife, I put the the first I found between the waistband of my jeans and grabbed two more. The others grabbed more knives as well and Daryl also got some kind of metal stick. After he did so, he softly put his hand on my lower back and pushed me forward.

The other door of this room led outside, we could perfectly hear a man asking for help from here. We looked out and saw several walkers had invaded the place. Some of them were around a red container, the man inside of it was the one asking for help and attracting more to him.

"If we run, we can get by them," Rick told us. "They're distracted."

"We got to let those people out," Glenn said, Rick just looked at him like he had lost his mind. Our people were the priority here and we could die trying to save more people. "That's still who we are. It's got to be."

Apparently, Glenn convinced Rick, who nodded at the Korean guy. Rick opened the door and the first to run out was Daryl, followed by Bob, then me, Rick and finally Glenn.

The walkers had noticed us now. I ran towards one and cut its head off with this very long knife I got. I moved to a second one and stabbed it in its skull. I turned around, looking for more walkers to kill when I realized the others had already dealt with the others around us. Glenn ran to the container, cut the chain and opened the doors. Out of it came a man in his thirties, probably, and he had completely lost his mind. He had long hair and a long beard, who knows how long he had been locked in there.

"We're the same! We're them!" he yelled as he grabbed Glenn by his shoulders, then he moved to Rick.

"Back off!"

"We're the same."

Rick pushed him off of him and the man just laughed as he looked at us with a crazy look on his eyes. I hadn't noticed but Daryl had gotten right next to me again, I really hated it when Daryl got overprotective, which doesn't happen often, thankfully.

Out of nowhere came a walker and ambushed the crazy man, biting him on his shoulder. Glenn moved to hit the walker with the baseball bat he had grabbed, as Rick, Bob and I stayed back. Daryl approached Glenn and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him back, behind the container, hiding him from several more walkers that were passing by. We were trapped, there were just too many of them and we were only five.

"We got to double back," Bob exclaimed.

"We can't!" I exclaimed, getting angry that he was thinking about abandoning the others, what a coward.

"A is that way," Rick told him. "We go back, we don't know where we are."

"We don't really have a choice, do we?" Daryl exclaimed as he kept looking at the walkers that were passing behind the other side of the container.

Right then we heard gunshots, many of them, and just second later we saw the walkers getting killed. It could only be the people from Terminus.

"Wait here," Rick told us as he ran to a car that was only feet away from us, he hid behind it.

"Rick. Rick!" Bob shouted.

"Shut up, you idiot!" I exclaimed, turning to look at Bob, if he kept screaming we could be found and maybe killed and most likely he would attract every walker if he kept shouting like this.

I was going after Rick to help him, when Daryl grabbed my wrist, turned me around and shook his head at me as he looked right at my eyes with a dead serious look. He told me to stay with Glenn and even asked Glenn to keep an eye on me, I knew this wasn't the time to argue so I didn't say anything and let him go after Rick instead of me. From my position I could see around ten or twelve people with big rifles, killing the walkers.

Rick spotted the last man of the group, ran to him, ambushed him, and took the rifle from him very quickly. Then he moved on to shoot the other people of that group, if he didn't kill them, the walkers made sure to do that, kneeling next to the wounded and started to feed on them.

I carefully ran to them after Rick shot them and approached the closest person to me, despite Daryl's protests. I grabbed a woman's gun quickly just before a walker got me. I kicked the walker away and walked towards Rick and Daryl. The three of us ran back to Glenn and Bob, in the process Daryl had grabbed me by my elbow and pulled me along with him.

"Stay close to me," Daryl exclaimed firmly as he looked right into my eyes, making me feel like I was just a five-year-old getting scolded. "Don't try to do something so stupid again."

"I needed the gun!" I argued.

"That walker almost bit your arm!" he yelled at me.

"I got it under control!"

"Come on!" Rick exclaimed loudly, making Daryl and I stop our argument.

Rick was on the lead and the four of us followed him. Daryl made sure to always be behind me or next to me so I would always be on his sight range. Daryl perfectly knew I could take care of myself, I had showed him countless times that I'm not some kind of damsel in distress, in need of her knight in shining armour. I accept I'm reckless sometimes and do things without really thinking it through, like killing that man of Joe's group back at that house, but probably if I weren't that impulsive I wouldn't be alive anymore.

A wasn't really that far but with so many walkers it got several times more complicated. We had to stop every five seconds or so to kill walkers. There were hundreds of them.

As we were stuck once again, I noticed Daryl struggling with two walkers at the same time, a third was approaching him from behind. I ran to it, past Daryl and pushed the walker to the ground, stabbing it quickly afterwards. By then Daryl had already killed the other two. I knew he was thinking I was being reckless again, I knew he wanted to scold me but then he noticed I was just saving his life, he nodded at me when I turned to look at him.

"Thanks," he muttered.

"Always."

We spent another two minutes there, killing around fifty walkers between the five of us. When we were done with that large group, Daryl once again grabbed me by my wrist and made sure I was always close to him as we started jogging again, only to stop by the next corner because of a group of people this time. There were around eight and three were girls.

I hated to use the gun I had just gotten to kill them instead of the walkers but they also had weapons and as soon as they saw us, they would kill us without mercy or doubt. Rick was the first to step out and shot at them, followed by me, I shot two of the three women and one man, while Rick shot the other five people. I had shot two of them right in the head but shot one of the women in the stomach, just wounding her. Before we started running again, three walkers approached her and started eating her alive, I could hear her screams and a part of me wished I could have just killed her, but then I remembered these people intended to kill us and eat us, so some of the guilt vanished right away.

We started running again, just evading walkers for the time being until a large group got in our path once again. I cursed and started shooting at them until I ran out of ammunition. I killed a walker by hitting it in its head with the gun before throwing it away since it had no use to me anymore. Luckily, I gave us a chance by killing about twenty of that big group, leaving about another thirty or a few more.

I grabbed one of the knives again and killed three walkers before Daryl grabbed my right wrist and pulled me with him once again. I didn't complain, I just followed him but that didn't mean I was liking the way he was acting right now.

Maybe it was because we spent a few weeks apart and none of us were sure if we would find each other, or if the other was alive, or maybe he felt guilty he couldn't protect me from Joe's group, because that's what he told Rick, he said he should had protected me and had failed, or maybe he was just acting like this because of my little confession minutes ago, whatever the reason, it was getting annoying.

Fortunately we were were getting closer and closer to 'A', we ran into a small group of people, only four of them. Daryl killed one, Rick killed two with the gun, and I killed the other, using my big knife. I shuddered a bit as I tried to get the knife out of his body again, but it was stuck, I pulled harder but it wouldn't even bulge.

"There's no time!"

I felt how someone once again dragged me along but to my surprise it wasn't Daryl, it was Glenn the one that grabbed me by my elbow. We ran as fast as we could with no more interruptions and finally made it to A. Once there, I took out a second knife and killed walkers that were around us, as Rick went up the steps and opened the door of the train car, releasing our people.

"Come on! Fight to the fence!" Rick shouted at the ones inside the train car.

The eight people inside there ran out, the first one was Abraham. I noticed how Carl smiled when he saw that his father was still alive and then smiled at me as well, while I kept killing walkers.

"Go, go, go!" I heard someone said.

I stabbed one last walker before running away with the group, Daryl, Glenn and Sasha were the closest to me. I slowed my pace when I saw a walker right in front of me, I raised my hand and was about to kill it when Daryl beat me to it.

He took a deep breath as he turned to look at me, I only raised my eyebrows at him and looked at him with an annoyed expression.

"I got it!" I said once again, unfortunately our moment was stopped by five walkers. I threw a knife at one, while Daryl handled another one. I grabbed the third knife I had gotten and killed a second walker, while Daryl killed the other two. I ran to go grab the other knife I had thrown, I knew what I was doing was stupid but there were no more walkers that close to me, so I took the chance.

"Cecilia!" Daryl yelled. "Goddamnit, come here!"

Once I approached Daryl and he made sure I wasn't going anywhere else, we started running again, following the others. Daryl killed a couple of more walkers on our way to the fence, making sure I wouldn't have to kill any of them.

"Let's go!" I heard a female voice yelling, probably Michonne but I couldn't be sure.

I stopped not far from the fence and noticed the group gathering around, they found some kind of blanket and put it over the fence so it would hurt less when passing over it, they also had some wooden boxes right next to it, so we could step on them and climb the fence more easily.

Daryl was a bit busy with a couple of walkers as I looked at our group, oblivious to a walker coming towards me. I felt a hand on my shoulder but before I could turn around and kill the walker, because I knew it was a walker due to the moaning right next to my ear, the walker was pushed to the ground. When I did turn around, I saw Tara on top of it as she killed it.

I stared at her in disbelief, she just saved my life. She stood up as she looked right at me, probably she noticed how dumbfounded I was at her actions. She shrugged at me.

"We need to go," she told me before I could thank her.

I turned around and saw Daryl killing one last walker before he ran towards me, I was relieved he hadn't seen me almost getting bit on my neck and being saved by Tara because he would have freaked out and probably scold me for not paying attention to my surroundings for like an entire month.

"Let's go!" I exclaimed and this time it was me the one pulling Daryl with me.

Rosita was the first to climb over the fence, followed by Eugene. Just then I saw Gareth and other men on a roof, starting to shoot at us but luckily Rick had spotted them and shot at them, actually hitting at least one of them, making them back off instantly.

"Rick!" I yelled, I noticed he was looking at a walker in front of him, it was one of the butchers. "Come on!"

"Cecilia, go! Go!" Daryl yelled at me, pushing me towards the fence as I tried to get Rick to join us.

By then, Carl, Sasha, and Maggie had already gotten to the other side of the fence. Tara went up the fence before me, then as I was starting to go over it, Daryl actually grabbed me by my waist and pushed me over, making me go even faster.

I landed on my feet but lost my balance, falling on my butt. Tara and Sasha approached me quickly, getting me to my feet. I nodded at them to thank them before we moved forward so the rest of the people wouldn't land on top of us after they crossed the fence.

I ran to Carl then and embraced him tightly. I pulled back soon and then put my hands on his shoulders instead as I looked right into his bright blue eyes.

"You okay?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he said with a nod. "You?"

"I guess," I told him. "At least we escaped."

I nodded at him, then I turned around to face the fence but kept an arm around his shoulders. I saw Glenn jumping to this side and seconds later I saw Daryl. I felt relieved when I saw he was alright. I felt how Carl also took a deep breath of relief when he saw his father climbing over the fence after Daryl.

I saw how Daryl looked frantically for me until he spotted me, once he did find me he walked towards me on a quick pace and then embraced both, Carl and me, for only a matter of seconds before we all started running away from the fence.

Once we were at a considerable distance from Terminus, who was in flames because of the bomb, and completely invaded by the dead, we decreased our pace, it was considerable safer now. Rick reminded Daryl of our weapons that were buried somewhere around here. Daryl nodded.

Daryl walked a couple of steps ahead of Rick and I, for the first time today it seemed like I wasn't his priority and I was glad he was giving me some space now, the one that slipped his hand in mine though, was Carl, who took a couple of quick steps to catch up with me. I turned to look at him and smiled, gripping his hand tightly as we walked.

"Right here," I heard Daryl say to Rick as he checked a small mark on a tree.

Daryl knelt and looked for a small shovel we had hid, Daryl found it and threw it at Rick, who started to dig to get our weapons once again.

"The hell are we still around here for?" Abraham demanded to know.

"Guns, some supplies," Rick told him as he kept digging. "Go along the fences, use the rifles. Take out the rest of 'em."

"What?" Bob exclaimed in disbelief.

"They don't get to live."

"Rick, we got out," Glenn told him. "It's over."

"It's not over till they're all dead," Rick said as he finally undug the bag of weapons and grabbing one small gun.

I stayed quiet but I agreed with Rick, I knew it was heartless and cruel but he was right. We left the Governor alive, thinking it was okay and months later, when nobody suspected anything would happen, he ambushed us, kidnapped two of us, killed many of our people and because of him we are here now. We couldn't leave anyone alive, they would come at us sooner or later.

"The hell it isn't, that place is on fire. Full of walkers!" Rosita exclaimed.

"I'm not dicking around with this crap," Abraham said. "We just made it out."

"The fences are down. They'll run or die," Maggie told Rick.

"I'm with Rick on this," I spoke up, surprising everyone, including Rick. I let go of Carl's hand and took a few steps towards Rick to grab my crossbow, Rick was handing it to me. Everyone followed my every step with their gaze. "We made that mistake once, and look what happened!"

"That was different!" Glenn told me.

"How? We should have gone after him and you know that! These people are not well in the head and if you think they will just let us go after killing who knows how many of them and destroying their place then you are out of your m... what?!"

I was interrupted by a soft tapping in my shoulder, I turned my head slightly to my left and my eyes landed on Daryl's blue ones, this time they looked soft and he seemed happy, he actually had a small smile on his face. I raised my eyebrows at him, I was so confused. I could bet he would be upset about my blood thirst.

"What?" I repeated but this time in a much softer way.

He flashed me a huge smile before he put his hands on my sides and turned me around to my right. My eyes opened twice its size and my mouth fell open as I gasped at what I was seeing. I blinked a few times trying to make sure I wasn't just seeing things my mind made up.

"Mum?" I asked when I recovered a bit.

I saw her bit her lip, looked down at the ground as tears threatened to spill and then she looked up at me again as she nodded. I couldn't help it, I just ran towards her as fast as I could and collided against her body as she wrapped me in her arms.

I felt her body shake as she sobbed and that made me start crying too. I hadn't seen her in at least three months and I never thought I would see her again. I wasn't sure how much time we stayed like that but I didn't care, I just tightened my grip on her.

"Cecilia," she muttered as she kissed the top of my head. "Oh my God!"

I pulled back a bit and looked into her eyes identical to mine, I still couldn't believe she was right in front of me. I dried her tears with my sleeve but more kept rolling down her dirty face.

"Don't cry," I told her as I wiped some of my own tears. "You are making me cry."

The group gave us some more time, before Daryl and Rick made their way to us. My mother kissed me on my forehead before she looked at the two men, I stepped aside and turned around so I was facing them now, when Daryl was close enough I put my arm around his waist. He smiled at me and did the same gesture.

"Did you do that?" Rick asked her.

My mother bit her lip, she probably wanted to reply but she knew her voice would break. She slowly nodded at Rick but she hadn't even finished her nod when Rick out of a sudden pulled her into a hug. My mother broke into sobs again as she hugged Rick back, who just hugged her even more. She just saved us all.

"Thank you," Rick told her just before he let go of her.

Then my mother turned to Daryl and me, but looking just at Daryl. She smiled at him with tears in her eyes. She took a step towards us and put her right hand over Daryl's left shoulder, then she nodded at him.

"Thank you," she told him. "For keeping her alive, for protecting her."

Daryl smiled at my mother before he turned to look at me, looking into my eyes. "Always," he muttered, I smiled back at him, nodding. We both turned to look at her with big smiles on our faces, she smiled too and then gave Daryl his crossbow, somehow she had recovered it from Terminus. Daryl tried to hide it but I knew how happy he was that he had it once again.

"You have to come with me," she said, looking from us to Rick, from Rick to the rest of the group.

My mother got on the lead, Rick walked right next to her. Michonne and Carl stayed close to the both of them. Sasha, Maggie, Glenn and Tara stayed a few feet behind them, while Rosita, Eugene and Abrahan walked behind those four, leaving Daryl and me in the very back.

I looked down at myself as we walked and noticed I had been wearing Daryl's winged vest since the night before. I really didn't want to take it off but I knew how much Daryl loved this piece of clothing so I slowly removed it and handed it to him.

"You can wear it today," he told me with a smile.

"You serious?"

"Yep," he exclaimed. "You better take the offer because it won't happen again."

"Okay." I chuckled before I put it back on. "I think it looks better on me, though."

"Yeah, right," he exclaimed, rolling his eyes at me.

"It does!" I said, sticking my tongue at him.

Daryl just shook his head at me, before he put his arm around my shoulder, bringing me closer to him and kissing the top of my head. I laughed at him and enjoyed the moment. As we kept walking through the woods, Daryl stole a kiss from me right when Rosita happened to look behind her and caught us. She probably noticed we were close but had no idea how close we were. I saw how her expression turned to a surprised one before she awkwardly turned to look in front of her again, I only smiled at her.

"Ceci," he said softly, I turned to look at him, that was a new nickname. "We need to talk."

"I know," I whispered, looking away from him and getting uncomfortable, knowing what he wanted to talk about. "Just not right now."

"Alright," he mumbled.

"Daryl?"

"Hmm?"

"What got into you today? I can fight, you know?" He sighed. "I can take care of myself."

"I just really believed I was going to lose you today," he said to me. He made us both stop in our tracks as he looked right at me. "I know I exaggerated today, I know what you are capable of and I truly hated to be that kind of man in there, to be so protective of you but I had had this feeling in the pit of my stomach since last night, and I only had a similar feeling when you were abducted. That time I ignored it, thinking it was nothing and look what happened, I wasn't going to ignore it twice. I can't lose you again."  
"Whatever that feeling was, we are okay now. We got out," I told him with a smile. "So you can stop worrying about me and please, don't ever act that way again."

"Can't make any promises," he told me with a shrug and a mischievous smile. "You are my princess after all."

"Yeah, a princess that can fight," I retorted.

"I know, but sometimes it's nice having to protect you."

I chuckled, rolled my eyes at him and started to walk again, the others had gotten quite far from us. We quickened our pace slightly to catch up with them.

"Speaking of that," he said. "When will you tell your mum we are engaged?"

I don't know why but I burst out laughing, our engagement had really slipped my mind. My laugh made Abraham, Eugene and Rosita to look at me for a short moment. They probably believed I was insane. When the three of them stopped looking at me, Daryl laughed too, making me feel warm inside, it had been forever since I had listened to his laugh.

"I will let you have the honours to tell her," I told him, still chuckling. "It seems you are in her good side now."

"I don't want to push my luck," he told me. "Besides, with all she did and now that I know what she can do, I'm not so sure I want to get on her bad side and tell her."

"Are you actually scared of my mum?"

"And with every right to be," he told me before he pecked my lips. "Look what she did all on her own."

"I got to admit she distinguished herself with all that, I don't know how she did it but she got us all out of there," I told him. "I never felt proud of her until now."

"She's more badass than you now," Daryl said in a teasing tone.

"Oh, shut up!" I exclaimed, pushing him away from me as I pretended to be angry.

"Nevertheless, I love you just the same."

"You better," I said teasingly.

Hello everyone! Hope you liked the chapter! Carol is back now!

So, the other day I got some kind of inspiration to make a Carl/OC video, I'm not such a big fan of doing Carl but hey, when inspiration hits, it hits.  
I also want to do another multicouple video soon so hopefully both will be done pretty soon, just need to find a song for the Carl one to start it! :P


	33. Chapter 33 - Heartbreaking True

"Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you."

– Stephanie Klein, Straight Up and Dirty

We had no idea where my mother was taking us, we all asked her but she refused to tell us. By now I was next to her and Daryl had stayed a bit behind with Glenn and Maggie. We went up a small hill and once at the top, I could see a small cottage and out was coming a corpulent man, I could only assume it was Tyreese, and when he turned around I saw it was indeed him, but that wasn't what made me gasp. He was holding Judith in his arms and as he went down the two steps of the cottage, I saw Mika behind him.

Rick instantly dropped her backpack and other stuff on the ground and ran to them, followed closely by Carl and Sasha, who was going to hug his brother. Rick took Judith in his arms and held her tightly, while Carl kissed his sister on the top of her head. Once Tyreese had given Judith to Rick, he was embraced by Sasha, who was crying out of happiness. Mika was coming to be with my mother but when she saw me, she smiled at me and instantly wrapped her small arms around me, before she stood right next to me, feeling safe around my mother, hell, even I felt safe around her now, which was something I never thought I would feel.

I felt tears filling my eyes when I saw Carl and Rick being reunited with Judith. They had such rough weeks thinking they had lost her forever, even I was truly affected after I saw her bloody carrier weeks ago. So not only I had reunited with a family member, it was a good day for all of us despite what we went through.

"Mum?"

"Yeah?" she said as she turned to look at me.

"Where's Axel?"

After I asked, her small smile vanished and she looked sadly at the ground, when Mika saw that, she grabbed my mother's hand in a reassuring way.

"He died about two weeks ago or a bit less," she told me at the verge of tears.

"I'm so sorry," I said sincerely.

I never liked Axel and never approved of their relationship but when I was told he chose to leave the prison to be with my mother when she was exiled, he earned my respect. It was then that I knew he truly loved her and by my mother's reaction she loved him back.

"It's okay."

As I looked at Mika I couldn't help but also wonder where Lizzie was, they were always together. I hated to think that she died too. I kept my gaze on Mika and noticed she wasn't the same friendly girl that was always smiling. Her eyes looked empty, she smiled when she saw me but after that she hadn't smiled again. She looked sad and even scared, I also noticed a cut that went down from her right shoulder, I couldn't see how deep or how long it was because of her clothes but I could tell it was recent, she didn't get that from the prison attack. I wanted to ask but right now it wasn't the time.

Daryl then finally approached me, he reached for my hand but at the slightest touch I jerked it away as I groaned, he looked at me questioningly with his eyebrows raised. I sighed and showed him my left hand, there were two big cuts on my palm and small ones around those two big ones and on some of my fingers.

"What the hell happened?" he exclaimed, horrified.

"It's nothing," I told him calmly, my mother also looked worriedly at me. It wasn't even that bad. "After the explosion, I had to make sure to not let my blade slip from my hand, it was my only way out. So I gripped it really tight so I ended up cutting myself, and as I tried to cut my ties I had to maneuver the blade and I ended up making a few cuts but it's no big deal."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Daryl exclaimed as my mother grabbed my hand to take a closer look at my cuts.

"We were in a place infested by walkers, what do you want me to do? Stop in the middle of the chaos and show you my cuts like if I were three?" I exclaimed.

"What about after?"

"It just slipped my mind, I just remembered now that I felt the pain." Daryl sighed. "It's nothing."

My mother reached inside her backpack, she found a small bandage so I wouldn't get dirt on it but unfortunately she didn't have alcohol or even water to clean my wound. So instead I just rubbed my hand on my shirt, removing some of the blood.

"When we find water, we'll clean that," my mother said as she bandaged my hand.

"It's no big deal," I repeated to the two of them but mostly to Daryl, who was looking at me in disbelief, like if I had cut one of my fingers off and I was in danger due to blood loss but that wasn't the case, Daryl just took a deep breath but said nothing to me.

After my mother was done bandaging my hand, I turned to look at The Grimes, and saw Rick thanking Tyreese for keeping Judith alive. I walked to them, feeling a bit irritated with both, my mother and my fiancé, and noticed Carl had tears in his eyes, when he saw me coming he smiled at me with such a big grin I hadn't seen in months. He hugged me and I hugged him back. Rick saw me with Carl and also smiled at me.

"Hey, Judith!" I said to the baby, earning her attention. "Hi! Do you remember me? I'm Lia."

"Lia, Lia, Lia!" Judith exclaimed happily and soon after that she extended her arms, wanting me to hold her. I looked at her surprised, she loved being in Rick's arms, besides, I didn't want to take her away from Rick, he hadn't even let her go to give her to Carl.

"Looks like she wants to be with you," Rick exclaimed with a smile.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

Rick handed her to me and I smiled as I took the blonde toddler in my arms, Carl stood close to me as he kept talking to Judith and smiling at her. Soon, Michonne also joined us and talked to Judith and even held her hand, which surprised me a lot, only a few months ago he couldn't even look at her, I guess she's finally moving on and letting go of her kid's death.

"I don't know if the fire is still burning," Rick muttered as he looked in front of him, where black smoke could be clearly seen, rising up to the sky.

"It is," my mother said.

"Yeah. We need to go," Rick exclaimed.

I guess the plan to go attacking them now was off now. Rick had just recovered his baby daughter, of course that all he wanted now was to leave, not start a war.

"Yeah, but where?" Daryl asked.

"Somewhere far away from there," Rick said as he took a final look at the smoke.

I smiled and slightly squeezed Judith one more time before giving her to Carl, who was dying to hold her. Rick went for his things that he had left behind to hold Judith, while everybody got ready to leave.

Glenn and Maggie were on the lead this time, followed by Tara, Carl, Michonne and Judith. I was behind them with Daryl next to me. Carol and Mika were behind us.

We kept walking until we reached the railroad tracks once again, we decided it was best to just follow them, we didn't even have a destination on mind. As we walked I saw one of those Terminus signs, I shuddered at the sight. I stopped on my tracks, just wondering how people could deceive hundreds of people to have them as meals. Everyone, including Daryl and my mother just kept walking while I just stayed there, staring at the sign.

Rick also stopped, he bent down and grabbed a rock, he crossed most of what was written there, and wrote a big 'No' above SANCTUARY. I nodded in approval.

"You okay?" he asked me, as we started walking again. "Something is bothering you, isn't it?"

"I can't stop thinking about it, when they were going to kill us. What would I have done will all of you gone?"

"You would have gotten revenge and kill them all," Rick told me.

"But then what? I wanted to save you and if it wasn't for my mother, you would..."

"It's not important now," Rick said quickly. "You tried, you earned us time by talking to Gareth. If you hadn't, Glenn and probably Daryl would be dead right now. It helped. Don't feel guilty about it."

"I just hope they know I wasn't trying to save just me, but all of us too."

"They do know," Rick assured me.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know you wouldn't just save yourself, and I'm sure Glenn knows, and Daryl knows, he knows you better than anyone. And Bob... well, he was too scared to notice what was happening."

"You are probably right," I said chuckling.

"No one died, Cecilia," Rick told me, looking at me for the first time and slowing the pace a bit. "Whatever happened, it's okay now. And Carol, Judith, Tyreese and Mika are with us now."

"Yeah," I said with a faint smile.

"Come on!" Rick said as he put an arm around my shoulders.

Rick and I stayed on the very back of the group for more than an hour, we talked about stuff that had happened in the last few weeks, but this time we focused mostly on the positive things.

"What are you going to do about Tara?" I asked him.

"Nothing," he told me. "She really didn't do anything, she didn't want to be there. She helped Glenn."

"She helped me," I said. "Back at Terminus, a walker almost got me but she killed it just on time. I wanted to tell you to give her a chance."

"I will," he told me.

Not long after that, Rick accelerated the pace, he wanted to be with Carl and Judith. I stayed behind, but when they noticed I was all on my own on the back, Abraham and Rosita smiled at me and stopped so I could catch up with them.

"So, is that your mum?" Rosita asked with an impressed smile to make conversation.

"Yeah, she is," I told her.

"She's really cool," she told me, I only nodded at her, if she knew how she was before she wouldn't say that.

"I hadn't seen her in like three or four months," I told her. I could tell she wanted to ask me why I hadn't seen her in so long but she refrained from it.

"Then what are you doing here? Go with her!" Abraham exclaimed.

"No, not yet," I told him. "We'll have time for that."

"Alright, suit yourself."

I looked behind my shoulder and saw the black smoke still going up the sky, I wasn't sure how many people had survived the attack, I didn't know if the people still alive would be able to leave with all those walkers around but a part of me wished they wouldn't, that way they wouldn't be able to go after us and that threat would end.

As we walked Rosita asked me about my relationship with Glenn after she told me how they bumped into him and Tara and told me how stubborn he was about going looking for Maggie. I told her we had met since the very start, that we had a camp just out of Atlanta when things weren't as bad. I told her that since Glenn used to deliver pizza back in the day he knew almost every corner of the city, so he used to go on runs at least once a week and I was his companion, and we bonded quickly because of that.

Later, we stopped to rest and eat something. Tyreese handed Rick a bottle he had for Judith in his things, Carl told Rick he wanted to feed her. Rick smiled as he handed his son the bottle.

I just stayed there, watching everyone when I noticed Tara close to Glenn, she had stuck close to him all this time. I took a deep breath and walked towards her, when she noticed I wasn't going to join Daryl, who I had passed by, or even going with my mum but to her, she started to fidget on her spot and looked at the ground as she played with her hair.

"Hey," I exclaimed, making her look up at me for a moment before she looked away.

"Hi," she mumbled, still really nervous.

"I didn't have the chance to thank you back there," I told her, making her look at me once again, but this time she looked really surprised. "I just wanted to thank you, that thing would have bit me if it weren't for you."

"Uh, right," she said nervously. "It's okay, don't even mention it."

"It's fine, you know?" I told her. "You don't have to be so nervous around me."

"Or me." I heard from behind me, I turned around and saw Rick. "You didn't want to be there. That's why I tried to talk to you," he told her. "Glenn told me you saved his life."

"He saved mine," she said timidly.

"That's how it works with us, right?"

"Right," she said with a smile that she was part of that 'us'. I smiled too. "Hey," she exclaimed, quickly lifting a fist up. Rick looked at her first for a short moment before he chuckled and pumped his own fist with hers.

"Get something to eat," he told her and then looked at me. "You too. We'll start back at sun-up."

"You heard him," I told her. "Gotta eat something."

I turned around when she stopped me, she raised her closed hand at me, just as she did with Rick. I nodded at her before I smiled. I did the same and pumped her fist, I nodded again before I turned around once again, and walked towards Daryl.

"Want to go hunting?" he asked me, not even bothering to look up at me. "We will still have around two hours of sunlight if we leave now."

"Sure," I said with a smile. "Let's go."

There really wasn't enough food for all of us, we were seventeen people, counting Judith. My mother and Tyreese, who were now nowhere to be seen, had some food but if we didn't find anything quickly it would be over soon.

As I grabbed my crossbow, which I had left on the ground next to my backpack, I looked at Mika, now that my mum and Tyreese were gone, she stayed close to Rick and Carl. Rick was talking to her, he smiled at her but she wasn't, whatever happened to her, had traumatized her and changed her.

"Alright, let's go!" Daryl said with a smile.

Daryl told Rick where we were going and how long we would take, Rick wasn't too happy with the idea but all he said to us was to be careful, people from Terminus could be around. We told him we would be before we both walked away from the large group.

Our walk was quiet at first, nobody said nothing for probably twenty or thirty minutes, and for the first time, as the minutes passed by, the silence was getting rather uncomfortable, the atmosphere was a bit tense and I hated feeling like that.

I was a bit ahead of him when I felt his hand softly on my right shoulder, I turned to look at him quickly. He brought his index fingers to his lips, motioning me to stay quiet and then with that same finger he pointed somewhere on my left. I looked at the place and seconds later I saw a big, fat raccoon. I nodded at him and let him take two steps forward so he would be in a better position to shoot, while I stayed on my spot, knowing me, I knew that if I moved I would probably scare the animal away.

Daryl then raised his crossbow a bit, narrowed his eyes for only a second before he took the shot. The arrow perfectly hit the animal right in its head, making it fall dead on the ground with a loud thud. Daryl went to pick it up, putting it inside a bag he had brought after he retrieved his arrow.

After that we continued in complete silence, this time I was behind him. I tried to stop thinking about this awkwardness between us and instead look for animals and have an eye open for the people of Terminus, just in case they escaped and were around.

"You hear that?" Daryl asked me as he stopped walking and signalled me to stop as well.

"What?" I asked him.

"Come on," he said, starting to walk towards the right.

I followed him until I saw what he had heard, it was a river. He knelt by the shore, cupped his hands and splashed some water on his face, then he drank some. Since it was water that wasn't stuck, like in a lake or pond, we assumed it was safe to drink some of it without boiling it. So I knelt next to him, ready to drink too when he stopped me by grabbing my hand, I only gave him a questioning look.

He looked from my eyes to my hand, which was the bandaged one. He slowly removed the bandage and put it inside his pocket, then he slowly and carefully cleaned my wounds. I admit that the cut right in the middle of my palm was a bit deep and hadn't stopped bleeding but I still didn't know why Daryl freaked out when he saw my hand earlier. I had been stabbed and had worse wounds.

"Had to clean that, right?" he muttered as he looked at my hand, making sure it was completely cleaned.

Daryl then grabbed the bandage and slowly re-wrapped it around my left hand again. I was a bit surprised at how delicate he could be. I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Thanks," I muttered when he was done and let go of my hand.

"No problem."

He stood up, grabbed his crossbow and was ready to leave but I stayed on the ground, I still hadn't drank anything. I didn't want to get my bandage wet, though, that could be really antigenic, so instead of cupping my hands together like Daryl did, I brought my face closer to river until I could reach it with my mouth, and started drinking. I drank until I felt like I couldn't drink anymore.

I dried my mouth with my sleeve just before I stood up, grabbed my crossbow as well and started walking, Daryl followed me in silence, he was only about three steps behind me. I looked up at the trees, looking for squirrels, birds, even lizards so we could eat them but I saw nothing for the next ten or fifteen minutes.

"Cecilia," I heard Daryl saying softly from behind me. I stopped in my tracks but didn't turn to look at him, I just closed my eyes tightly. "Look, I know this might be hard but we need to talk about..."

"I'm not pregnant," I exclaimed quickly as I turned around to face him. His lips parted slightly and his eyes got twice as big.

A part of me always knew that he intentionally brought me all the way here, away from everyone else to talk about this. I knew the second he asked me without looking me right in the eye and the way things were tense between us just confirmed it, I just didn't know when he was going to bring it up, he waited more than I expected.

"What?" Daryl exclaimed in disbelief after he recovered from my statement.

"I am not pregnant, Daryl," I repeated. I bit my bottom lip out of nerves and started to play with the bandage on my hand. "So now you can stop worrying about it and stop treating me like if I'm made of porcelain, okay?"

"If you aren't, then why did you say you were back there?"

"It was the only thing I could come up with," I said with a shrug. "I thought that kind of information could soften Gareth a bit, I hoped it would work and it did. I'm sorry if I made you believe that and for not clearing it up earlier."

"Okay," he mumbled. "Uh, good, I guess. Right."

Daryl shook his head, he looked relieved and glad that I was in fact not pregnant but at the same he also looked rather disappointed, which made me wonder what would have he said and do if I was? Would he want me to keep it or vote for me to abort it?

Daryl also bit his lips as he looked down at the ground, he took a deep breath before he started walking, passing past me. I sighed as he did, I stayed immobile for a few seconds, feeling devastated.

"But Daryl," I exclaimed quickly as I turned around to face him, making him stop walking. "Just because I am not pregnant right now doesn't mean I wasn't before."

He turned to look at me with an even more shocked expression. He looked at me like if I had told him one of the hardest riddles he had ever heard of, like if I had told him something that didn't make sense at all. He took some steps towards me, looking me right in the eye, expecting some kind of answer from me but I felt how a lump was forming in my throat and I knew that if I talked I would break, so I stayed quiet.

"What?" Daryl exclaimed in complete astonishment. "What did you say?"

"I was pregnant," I whispered, not daring to look at him as I talked. "I'm sorry."

Daryl angrily threw his crossbow to the ground, making me slightly jump from the noise and at his outburst. He took deep breaths and he started to pace as he ran his hands through his head and long hair, while I just stayed on my spot, my legs were shaking and I felt like if I moved on the slightest I would surrender under my own weight and fall down.

"So... you fucking got rid of it without even telling me!?" he shouted at me as he stopped right in front of me. He had never shouted at me this way or this loud, I flinched and unconsciously took a step back, still not daring to look him in the eye. "Without even bothering to discuss it together?"

So that's why he was so furious. I really wasn't sure before why he had gotten so upset and it only broke my heart more when he said those words. My eyes filled with tears, making me lower my head even more.

"Huh?" I shook my head. "Did you, Cecilia?"

"No," I mumbled.

"You didn't?" Daryl incredulously asked me in such a tone that I knew he didn't believe me. He kept shouting at me, he even incriminated me of things I didn't while I kept denying it but he didn't hear me, he just kept shouting and shouting, being consumed by anger.

"I lost it, Daryl!" I suddenly shouted, getting sick of his attitude.

I looked up at him and saw how his expression softened at my words. He looked down to the ground, he took a deep breath and then looked up at me. He walked towards me until he was right in front of me, once again I looked away from him, not having the guts to look into those blue eyes.

"Cecilia," he said softly. "Why didn't you tell me? Darling, please talk to me."

Daryl hesitantly wrapped his hands around my waist, bringing me close to him. I closed my eyes tightly, feeling like crying but not wanting to break down right now. I slightly pulled back to look at his face, I cleared my throat, ready to tell him.

"It happened after the prison thing, that's why I didn't tell you. Don't think I wanted to keep it from you," I told him. "It wasn't like that."

"So... you didn't know before we were attacked?"

"No," I said shaking my head. "I had my suspicions and I was planning to go on a run and get some tests when all that happened, so I never really had the chance to find out."

"What happened?" he asked me. "After the attack."

"I started getting these really painful cramps and that night, I noticed I had started to bleed," I told him as I looked down at the ground as I remembered those horrible days. "At first I believed it was normal, that it was nothing, that it was going to be okay, but it didn't."

"How, uh, how do yo-you, I mean, how did you know... that it was your, uh, normal... that it wasn't normal?" Daryl asked me, getting really awkward. "Like how do you know you were in fact... pregnant? Know what I mean?"

"Well, I didn't really have any symptoms, like morning sickness or anything like that but that pain wasn't normal," I said, understanding what he was trying to tell me. How could I know that the cramps just weren't part of a normal period cycle instead of a miscarriage. "I almost never get cramps and they last no more than four days, I was like that for around two weeks and I just knew... like I felt different afterwards... can't explain, I just felt different."

Daryl took a deep breath and when I looked up at him, I saw his eyes had watered. He tightened his grip on me and kissed the top of my head, at that gesture the first tear fell out of my eye. I wiped it quickly as I buried my face in his chest.

"I was so scared," I admitted in a shaky voice, it felt good to get it out. Rick knew what had happened but I hadn't gotten into details with him and I put up a strong face for everyone's sake. "I didn't know what to do."

"Didn't you tell anyone?"

"Not at first, no," I said. "I couldn't. When we got to that house, Rick just fell unconscious, he was for a whole day and Carl is just a boy, what would he be able to do?"

"What about Michonne?"

"She wasn't with us yet, I tried to keep it under control and act normal and then, exactly the day Rick was unconscious, well, that was the worst day." I stopped because my voice broke at the end. "The pain was almost unbearable and I just kept bleeding, it wasn't stopping and for a moment I really thought I was going to die, I was so scared and there was no one that could help me."

"Shh, it's okay now," Daryl muttered, I had started crying by then, I remembered how terrified I was, and the pain, and how hopeless I was feeling. "It's okay."

"I had to tell Rick, I asked him to not tell Carl, he was really bad about his sister that I didn't want him to get more bad news, you know? He helped me a lot," I told him. "After we escaped from that house, after we killed those men, Rick and I told Michonne and Carl we were looking for some medicine while we sent them to the store in front of it, and got some stuff because I just kept bleeding and some pills for the pain, and also got five pregnancy tests, he told me his sister had gone through the same and that if after those weeks the results came coming back positive, then that was bad news, because my body hadn't gotten rid of everything and I would need a surgery or something like that."

"Okay," Daryl said a bit confused. "And what happened?"

"I took one that same day, maybe around eights days had happened since everything started and it was positive," I told him as I finally looked up at him again. "I took a second test about another eight days later and it was positive too, I thought maybe what Rick said was going to happen to me, with my luck anything could happen, or maybe I didn't really lose it but I took a third test three days later and it finally was negative. I was out of danger, which was a relief."

"Why didn't you tell me all of this before?"

"I don't know, I just didn't know how to bring it up and when we met, well it wasn't the best way to see each other again, we had such a bad night and the next day I just kept thinking how I would tell you and we got to Terminus and got locked up in that thing, but I really wanted to tell you, I did," I told him as more tears fell down my face, which Daryl wiped away this time, before he wrapped me in his arms again. "Carl and Michonne don't know yet and I hope no one knows either, I have to tell Glenn that I lied back there and probably Bob."

"Why didn't you tell Michonne?"

"Maybe a part of me didn't want to believe it, or I just wanted to forget it, not reliving it. I just didn't want to think about it anymore, like you have no idea what I went through those days."

Daryl then moved his hands to my face again, wiping more tears, this time not only my tears but a couple of his as well and then cupped my face just before he tenderly pecked my lips, and then he just kept his forehead against mine. We kept like that for a couple of minutes until I pulled away and walked away from him.

"But it's okay," I told him as I reached for my crossbow, a feeling of inner coldness ran through me and no more tears were threatening to fall down. "It's the way it should have been."

"What do you mean?"

"We couldn't have had it, Daryl."

"Why not?" Daryl asked me softly.

"Seriously? When it happened I believed Judith was dead, I thought that kids don't really survive in this world and I still think that, so we just got saved from a lot of pain and suffer," I told him as I turned to look at him. "And if I had it that would only mean losing you."

"What?" Daryl asked confused. "What are you talking about? Why would you lose me?"

"Remember when my sister and I got lost?" I asked and Daryl nodded. "You did everything you could to find us, remember? You almost died for who? Two girls you didn't even know, two girls that weren't your responsibility, two girls you only met what, two, three months ago?"

"But it paid off, I found you."

"Yeah but my point is that if you did all that for people you didn't even care about, what would you be willing to do for your own child? You would do everything and honestly, I don't know what I would do without you."

"Why do you think that having a baby would instantly mean I would die?" he asked me as he approached me. "Rick has two kids to look after and they are still alive. He still is as well."

"And what if I die, Daryl?" I asked him. "Something like what happened to Lori could happen to me."

"Don't even say that!" he snapped.

"It could. But seriously why are we even arguing about it? It's gone now, whether we want it or not, it just wasn't meant to be. Do you want to keep hunting or go back to camp?"

"I don't even know," he told me as he finally recovered, he wasn't expecting that kind of question. Not after all we talked about.  
We still had about an hour left until we had to go back with the others, so even when we weren't going hunting I just headed a different direction, I didn't want to see the rest of them yet. I was a mess right now and I wanted to be alone but Daryl would never let me wander these woods on my own, not now.

Daryl slowly followed me, he was still astonished at everything I told him and I don't blame him, Rick was just as stunned when I informed him the reason why I hadn't gone out with Carl to kill the walkers the day before, why Carl went on his own to look for food, I knew he was upset for letting him go on his own even when he never mention it and after that he stopped being upset about it and he understood my weird behaviour around them, why I kept keeping to myself and why I was getting those 'stomach aches' I kept complaining about, and I was glad that even when he couldn't do anything to stop it, at least I had his support and his help in what he could do, like getting me pain killers, telling me things to make feel feel better and just have a shoulder to cry on or tell me reassuring things when I got those horrible cramps.

Again, everything got very silent. None of us said a single word and for a moment I truly thought I had ruined things with Daryl, which only broke my heart even more but as we kept walking I felt him slowly slipped his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers. I smiled and looked up at him, he smiled back at me, he lifted our hands and softly kissed the back of mine. I nodded and smiled even more and kept walking like that, this time in a comfortable silence.

So, now the whole truth is out. What do you think about it? Did you see it coming? What do you think will happen now between them?

Just yesterday I published a new video on my channel, it's some sort of intro to it. If you would like to watch it, here's the link.

/H8UHtZvbjZU


	34. Chapter 34 - The Other Side Of The Truth

"Being alone never felt right.

Sometimes it felt good, but it never felt right."

\- Charles Bukowski, Women

When Daryl and I finally made it back to the others it was already dark. I went to sit on the floor, with my back against a tree while Daryl went to talk to Rick, he also gave the raccoon to Rosita, who was starting a fire.

It wasn't until after eating that Daryl finally joined me. He sat next to me, leaning against that same tree, he slowly reached for my hand and gripped it, I smiled, luckily it was my good hand. I held his hand and slightly gave his a squeeze.

As time passed, I slowly found myself right next to Daryl, our arms touching, I rested my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his hands around my waist and resting his own head against mine. We hadn't been like this in so long and I was going to cherish it.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked me.

"Sure," I whispered.

"After the prison, I truly believed everyone else was dead, I thought that only Beth and I had made it out and if that wasn't the case then we would never see the others again or they would just die eventually. We actually found some people from the prison dead, just confirming what I feared," he told me in such a gloomy tone. "I had just given up."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just did," he told me. "But one night I asked for a sort of sign to let me know what you were alive and I got it."

At that I turned around to see him right in the eyes, which were now a very dark shade of blue, he sighed and looked down at the floor as he shifted a bit, getting more comfortable.

"Just seconds after I asked for it, I saw a shooting star. At first I was filled with hope and happiness but then I just started thinking it was just a coincidence, I got depressed all over again and I asked for a second sign, just to make sure I wasn't getting my highs up for nothing, just to crash down on the floor later," he told me as he glanced at me before he looked away again.

"You got the second sign?" I asked.

"I did. The next day, Beth and I searched a house, I went upstairs. One of the girls that used to live there was an athlete and there was an article about her glued on the wall, I read it. Do you know what was the girl's name?" I shook my head. "Cecilia. Her name was Cecilia Peters and she was blonde and had blue eyes... just like you. It took me a while to realize that was the second sign. I even took the room's tag with her name on it... just as a reminder, you know?"

I nodded at him before turning my head again and resting it against his chest, I slipped a hand behind him and wrapped both arms around him, I heard his heartbeat slightly rising, I enjoyed being able to be so close to him, just like this, together.

"That's when I started looking for you, that's when all my strength to carry on just came back, I didn't know if I was ever going to find you but I wasn't going to give up."

"I also lost hope," I admitted. "Rick and Carl kept telling me that if anyone was alive, then that would be you." He smiled at that. "It's normal to assume the worst happened and that you've lost everything you had after something like that."

"But we didn't."

"Not everything," I whispered. "We lost many people and the prison, though."

"I know but we are all together now."

"Not all of us," I said in a low tone.

"Yeah, Beth's gone," he muttered in a low tone.

"Actually," I said, turning once again to look right at him. "I was talking about Oliver."

Daryl raised his eyebrow and then lifted his gaze, looking at the rest of our group, his mouth turned into an oval shape when he finally realized Oliver wasn't around with us and he hadn't been since the prison. I didn't even know why I got so upset every time he said her name, I knew it wasn't her fault to end up with him.

"Good-night, Daryl."

I broke our embrace, took off Daryl's vest, which I had worn all day and gave it to him, this time he did accept it. I stood up, grabbed my backpack, which I was going to use as my pillow for the night, plus I had a sweater inside. I put it on just before lying down close to Daryl.

Even though we were right next to each other, Daryl and I slept on our own, I didn't scoot closer to him and he didn't put an arm around me, not even when he was asleep. Usually when he's already sleeping he embraces me if he isn't already.

I couldn't help but to wonder if things were completely alright between us, making me not being able to fall asleep. Feeling frustrated, I sat up with a deep sigh. I turned to look at Daryl, who was deeply sleeping next to me. I kissed his forehead just before standing up.

I looked around and noticed only Tara was awake, meaning she was on guard. Rick, Glenn and Abraham had already done their one-hour long watch and I hadn't been able to sleep yet, I had had been trying for at least three hours.

I sighed again and decided that Tara could use some company, I could do some company, even hers would do. I walked towards her, making her jerk her head at my direction when I was only a few steps away from him.

"Hey," I said. "Do you mind if I sit with you?"

"No, go ahead," she told me. I could notice she was still nervous around me.

I sat next to her but there was still a considerable distance between us, and it was quiet for a long time. I was sure she was uncomfortable with me here and I didn't know how to start a conversation. I wanted to know how she met the Governor but didn't want to bring that up and I couldn't mention relatives either, not on our first talk at least.

"How old are you?" I asked her, I felt dumb for asking that but that's all I could come up with.

"Twenty-three," she told me. "And you?"

"I'm twenty-one … but for all I know I could be twenty-two," I said shrugging. "My birthday is in October and I assume we are close or already passed that."

"Mine is in April," she told me with a smile. "April fifth."

"Mine was on Halloween," I said. "It was fun, always celebrated it big time."

"I can bet," she said with a chuckle, this time it was a natural one, no trails of nerves in it, I chuckled along with her.

After that silence fell upon us, it wasn't comfortable, not yet but it wasn't unbearable. I glanced at Daryl and noticed he was lying on his back now instead of on his side, he had an arm over his eyes as he took deep and even breaths.

"So, I'm a bit confused about what happened today," she said, this time being her breaking the silence, completely surprising me. "That woman," she said, pointing at my mum, who was sleeping right next to Mika. "Bombed Terminus, planned and made a perfect attack and got us all out?"

"Yeah, I think so," I told her. "I'm not sure if she had a lot of time to plan all that but it worked just fine."

"Okay, and she's also your mum?"

"Yep," I said with a small smile. "She's my mum."

"Since when didn't you see her?"

"Uh, around three months, maybe a bit more," I said. "She used to live with us at the prison."

"What happened? Did she get lost or something?"

"Uh, not exactly. I shouldn't probably tell you this, I mean, I don't want you to be scared of her..."

"I'm already scared of her," she said quickly. "She brought down a whole community or whatever that was, on her own, but what did she do? I promise I won't think different of her, I admire her. Besides, after what I did, I can't really judge her."

"Hey," I said earning her attention and making her turn to look at me. "You didn't do anything, you didn't kill anyone. You actually saved Glenn and me, we're good. I told you earlier. Do you think I would have come here to talk if I had any kind of resentment or grunge at you?" She shook her head. "That's right, I don't, it's in the past, just like the thing with my mum, which you want to know or not?"

"Yeah."

"Well," I said taking a deep breath. "People were getting sick and dying months ago, and at first there were only a couple of them. She killed the first two people that got sick to protect us, so the virus wouldn't get to us but it didn't help, many got sick and died. Rick had to exile her for it."

"Oh wow, I'm sorry to hear that," she said. "It must have been really hard for you."

"Yeah but everything happens for a reason, Michonne has told me I should think like that and I try to do it. All these weeks I have been thinking that if Rick hadn't done that, she could have died at the prison attack and for sure she wouldn't have gotten us all out, we would be dead right now, well, at least Rick, Glenn, Daryl, Bob and I."

"When we got there, they were so welcome, they even offered us all food. We were eight. After we ate and made some conversation with some of the people there they told us that if we wanted to be part of them we had to agree to their terms and I truly believed their rules were going to be easy, just collaborate with everyone, do stuff around, you know? But then Gareth said that they eat people and we would have to eat them too, we refused and they said that we would just become food then."

"That's awful," I told her. "And sick. I had the chance to talk to Gareth, he said I would have to eat people if I wanted to live and that's when the explosion happened."

"I really thought we weren't going to get out."  
"I did believe we were going to escape but I was worried about who was going to make it out and how many, I'm glad we all made it out."

There was more silence between us then, I could hear some grasshoppers in the distance and even owls every now and then, it was peaceful, there were no signs of walkers or even people. My eyes started to get heavy and before I knew it I fell asleep.

I heard noise around me and that's when I opened my eyes. It was already morning and about half of us were already up. Rick was not far from me feeding Judith, Carl was still lying down but he was awake, Abraham was talking to my mother, Daryl was also awake, close to Michonne and Sasha was just getting up, she was in between Bob and her brother, both were still sleeping.

I started to stretch and that's when I realized I wasn't lying on the floor, I had fallen asleep in a sitting position, with my head and back against a tree and Tara was right next to me, she hadn't woken up yet. I remember talking to her the night before and I seriously thought I had gone back to my spot next to Daryl but apparently I didn't.

After everyone ate at least just a bit of food, we got ready, packed our things, we started getting further from Terminus. Rick stayed on the lead with Daryl, Carl and Michonne, while I stayed a bit behind them, next to my mother, I hadn't had the chance to talk to her and it was nice to catch up with her.

"I'm not upset by the way," I told her, as I gripped the straps of both, my backpack and crossbow. "Just so you know."

"What?" she asked confused.

"You know what I mean. Maybe you shouldn't have done it but I'm not upset," I assured her. "We have all done stuff we are not proud of, but that doesn't mean we are bad people. I'm just glad we are together again."

My mother smiled at me and I actually saw how her icy blue eyes filled with tears at my words, before I would have probably refused to even see her or be in the same room as her but I've changed. I may still keep things inside my chest when something happens or bothers me but I don't allow them to hurt me anymore, and I actually forgive people, at least most of them.

I still haven't forgiven Sean for what he did to me but whenever I remember that, that feeling of overwhelming rage, it's not as strong as before and I don't feel like wanting revenge anymore, I'm letting it go, little by little.

As we continued walking, I noticed Carl was getting tired of carrying Judith in his arms. She was close to being a year old, if she wasn't already, carrying her for more than an hour could be tiring, especially for a kid like Carl. I offered him to take her for now, he didn't want to let go of her but he knew he needed a break so he handed the baby to me.

"Lia!" Judith said happily when I took her in my arms, I smiled at her.

"Mum?" I said, taking the opportunity now that Mika was with Tyreese, some steps behind us. "Where's Lizzie?"

"Uh, I don't really want to talk about it," she said quickly, getting extremely uncomfortable.

"That bad, huh?" I muttered.

My mother only nodded at me without even looking my way. Judith started playing with my hair then, it had been down for around a week, when my last hair tie just broke. I had been braiding it but after a couple of hours the braid is completely gone.

It was around midday now, so we had to take a break, the sun was killing us even when the temperature wasn't as high. And all this morning since we woke up, Daryl hadn't said a single word to me, whenever I had caught him looking at me, he just looked away from me. I wondered if he was like this because of what I confessed yesterday or because I didn't sleep with him, because I was with Tara when I woke up, and maybe because of that he believed I was upset at him? I had no idea what was going through his mind and I was dying to now, all of this situation was making me extremely anxious.

During our break, Daryl went hunting, seeing if he could catch something and this time he didn't ask me to join him. So I stayed with Carl and Judith, I fed the baby and let her fall asleep in my arms after she was fed. Carl laid a small blanket on the ground and I set down Judith there, I was going to held her again once our break was over.

"Do you think anyone survive from Terminus?" I heard Rosita asking Abraham.

"Let's hope not," he said.

I had no idea if someone had made it but as heartless and harsh as it sounds, I do hope all of them died, or at least Gareth and the people that killed the people to eat them later.

During our small break we drank water and ate some of the remains of the raccoon and some crackers, and we only had food for tonight or if we eat very, very little, for tonight and tomorrow morning, so Rick decided it would be best to shorten our break and start walking again, maybe we could find a house or something soon, possibly by tomorrow morning.

I carefully grabbed a sleeping Judith in my arms after I put my backpack over my shoulders while Carl volunteered to take my crossbow. I thanked him and the two of us followed Rick, Michonne and Daryl, who were on the lead.

"Can you show me how to use this?" Carl asked me as he looked down at my crossbow.

"Uh, why don't you ask Daryl?" I muttered. "He is a better teacher than me, he taught me."

"You are good with it now," Carl said with a shrug. "So, will you?"

"Maybe," I told him. "Let's find a safe place first and then we'll talk about it. You could ask Michonne to let you use her sword?" I said with a chuckle, Carl slightly chuckled too.

"That won't happen," Michonne said, overhearing our conversation.

"What about me?" I asked.

"Nope," Michonne said with a smile. "No one touches the sword but me."

"That's selfish, Mich!" I exclaimed.

Our conversation was interrupted by two walkers coming our way, Michonne smirked at Carl and me before turning her attention to the two walkers, who were still at a reasonable distance from us.

"I got it," she exclaimed as she moved her hands to grab her sword as she walked to them, it was then when she and Carl and I realized her sword was gone. It was taken from her in Terminus.

Her smirk vanished and she took a deep sigh, but then she grabbed her long knife and decapitated both walkers. She cleaned the blade with a leave that she found on the ground and then she rejoined us, but this time she stayed on the back of the group, close to Glenn, Maggie and Tara.

About an hour after that, my arms were getting really tired and Judith finally woke up. I handed her to my mother, who calmed her down almost immediately. She was even giggling at my mother, she was so grumpy only a couple of minutes ago and now she was so happy.

Only an hour before dusk, we came across a river. Rick sent Glenn and Daryl to refill our bottles but I volunteered, I needed to clean my wound again and I needed some time alone from everybody else, actually a part of me wished it would have been Glenn to come with me but it was Daryl.

I grabbed the bag with all the bottles after everyone in the group made sure to empty them by drinking every drop, and also got my crossbow back from Carl. I smiled at the boy before following Daryl back to the river we had seen only ten or even less minutes ago.

I knelt by the river once we got there, took off the bandage and cleaned my wound. It looked so much better than yesterday, at least it wasn't bleeding anymore and Bob offered to do some stitches as soon as we find a needle and some thread. I hadn't used anything like my gun or a knife since we escaped from Terminus, but I had done other things and it really hurts. It was very unfortunate to wound my left hand, the one I use for almost everything but hopefully this won't last more than two weeks.

"You have been quiet today," I commented as Daryl kept filling the bottles. "You okay?"

"Sort of," he mumbled in a low tone, I almost didn't understand him.  
"Are you angry at me?" I asked him as I finally glanced at him.

"No," he assured me as he also looked at me, making our eyes meet for only a few seconds before we both turned away. "I'm angry but not at you."

"Why are you angry?" He just sighed but didn't say anything to me for a while. I just kept bandaging my hand as I waited for an answer I wasn't going to get, at least for now. "I thought you were upset because I was with Tara when I woke up."

"What?" he exclaimed in surprise. "I don't care about that, don't be silly."

"Okay."

Daryl moved closer to me when he realized I was struggling with the bandage, he took my hand in both of his and softly bandaged my hand once again. Daryl then slowly let go of my hand before he stood up and took the filled bottles of water and put them inside a black backpack, it was Tyreese's.

I also grabbed some and put them inside my own backpack. I put it over my shoulders once again and we both made our way back to the place Rick had chosen to stay for the night. On our way back Daryl got an armadillo and a squirrel, while I got another squirrel, at least we got dinner.

"Wait," Daryl muttered as he gripped my wrist and made me turn around to face him after he had gotten that armadillo and we had started to walk back to the others.

"What is it?" I asked him as I raised my two eyebrows at him. We barely had any light right now and I really wanted to get back but I also wanted to talk to Daryl.

"I'm sorry for making you feel like I'm upset about what you told me yesterday. It was a shock and not good news. You have no idea how sad I am about that but that isn't why I'm like this," he said and then took a deep breath. "I also need to tell you something."

"You are scaring me, Daryl," I exclaimed as I got even closer to him. "Have you been bit or something?"

"No, nothing like that," he assured me.  
"Then what is it?"

Daryl took another deep breath as he ran his fingers through his chin and short beard, he turned his gaze from me to the ground. I took both his hands to give him support.

"You can tell me anything," I assured him just before I kissed his cheek. "What is it?"

"Beth," he whispered. "She kissed me."

"What?" I whispered, hoping I didn't hear that properly.

"Beth kissed me, Cecilia."  
I felt how my hands stopped gripping Daryl's as I felt something similar to a stab to my heart. I had been shot, I had been stabbed, I had been hit with a gun on the head, I had broken multiple bones at the same time and nothing could hurt as much as this, not even if they are put together. I looked down at the ground as I felt my lips parting a bit, I was baffled about this.

"I didn't want to!" Daryl exclaimed quickly. "I swear. Cecilia, she was drunk and she just did it."

"I can't fucking believe you!" I exclaimed loudly, not being able to control my anger. "So, while I was miles away from you, being scared to death about what was happening to me, about losing _our_ baby, you were kissing another girl!?"

"It wasn't like that! I didn't kiss her back!" Daryl exclaimed as he tried to grab my hand but I jerked it away. "I swear I didn't. I pushed her away!"

"I fucking knew it!" I said in a much quiet tone but I was just as hysteric.

I remembered the time not long ago after we went on a run and we lost Zach, Beth's former boyfriend. Daryl broke the news to her and I saw them hugging each other, I let it pass, knowing Beth was my friend and Daryl wasn't that type of guy, but now I was regretting not confronting both, or at least just Beth.

"I love you!" Daryl almost yelled at me as I started to walk away from him, I stopped dead in my tracks at his words. "Do you actually believe I cheated on you because I wanted to? I swear I'm telling the truth, I pushed her away immediately! Don't you believe me?"

I felt tears falling down my face then, I was glad my back was facing Daryl now. I knew Daryl was faithful, and he would be even if we lived a normal life like before, with no walkers, he wasn't like that and I knew that all he was telling me was true, he had never lied to me, but I was too hurt to calm down and jut forget this. Beth was extremely lucky to not be around, I had no idea what I would have done to her if she was, I would probably be on my way back to camp by now, ready to do something to her.

"I'm so sorry!"

"I believe you," I said in a low tone as I wiped my tears. "But just leave me alone right now."

"I'm sorry," he repeated over and over again as I started to walk away but then stopped once again.

"How did it happen?" I asked as I turned around to see him, I noticed he also had tears in his eyes. He sighed.

"We just got to this house by a graveyard, we were getting along then. I was a complete jerk for the first several days," he told me. I just wanted to tell him to go to the chase but my voice broke when I tried to speak. "We got the moonshine from that shack we found with Michonne that time, do you remember?" I nodded. "I found her drinking more, she was crying about her dad. She hugged me and then she kissed me. Out of nowhere. I was just trying to be nice for once."

"What else?"

"What else? After that I pushed her away and demanded her to stay the fuck away from me, and don't look at me like that, I know I screwed up, I probably should have seen it coming but I didn't kiss her, alright?" he shouted, getting frustrated. "You know what? She actually said we should have some fun, we had had rough days and should relax, she was out of her mind! She tried again but I didn't let her, I'm being honest."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"For the same reasons you didn't tell me about the miscarriage," he told me and this time his tone became softer with every word. "After yesterday, I didn't know how to bring it up, you have suffered enough, that's why I avoided you all day. I knew you deserved to know and wanted to tell you but I didn't know how."

I only nodded at him, not knowing what to tell him. I just took a deep breath to calm myself down. A part of me wanted to run into Daryl's arms and tell him everything was going to be fine, that it was behind us now but another part of me wanted to shout and get out everything I was feeling, I wanted to punch something, I wanted to run away and shoot my crossbow repeatedly, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and I also wanted to find Beth and give her a piece of my mind... and my fist. I knew Daryl was being honest but that didn't stop me from being angry at him as well.

"We should get back." Was the only thing I said to him, as I looked up at the sky, the sun was already gone.

"I'm sorry." I heard Daryl saying as I turned around.

"Yeah, I know," I told him.

I gripped my crossbow tightly as I started to walk, I let some tears fall, not only because of how hurt I was by what Daryl confessed but I also felt so betrayed by Beth, whom I trusted with all my heart. We were such good friends, I would have never imagined something like this from her.

I wiped my tears quickly, not wanting the others to see me cry. I could hear Daryl following me but not once I looked back at him. I couldn't, not now at least. And he didn't try to stop me or talk to me, I was glad about that. He knew when to give me space or maybe he was too ashamed to even see me in the eye.

As soon as we joined the others I handed the filled bottles I had to Sasha and the squirrel I got to Michonne, while Daryl handed the backpack with the rest of the bottles to Tyreese and then sat a bit far from the others, ready to skin the animals he got earlier. I just sat against a tree, I was close to Maggie and Glenn, but none of them paid attention me.

"You okay?" Rick asked me as he crouched over to be closer to my level.

"I'm okay," I told him. "Just tired."  
"Do you know you use the same lie every time something is bothering you and you don't want to talk about it?" Rick told me, making my heart skip a bit. "You already told Daryl?"

"I had to, after saying that to Gareth I had no choice, otherwise he would have believed he was going to have a baby," I told him as I looked down at my hands. "But it's really not that what is making me like this."

"How did he take it?"

"Good, I think, just differently than what I had thought," I admitted. "Has he talked to you?"

"Not yet but I have a feeling he will soon."

"He looked really crushed when I told him," I said out loud, I didn't really mean to say it. "He didn't say he was sad about it or anything but I could tell. I expected some kind of sadness but I guess how the world is now, he would be... I don't know, just know it was the best for us."

"Is it really the best?"

"Of course," I said quickly. "I lost my sister and she was twelve, so many people have lost their kids and after Sophia, I'm not sure if I would have been able to recover from losing it, I would be consumed by guilt and that would hunt me for the rest of my life. Besides, I can't see myself as a mother, Rick. I still feel like a teenager sometimes, especially when everyone but Carl is older than me."

"Do you feel guilty, Cecilia?" Rick asked me.

"What?"

"You just said, you would be consumed by guilt and not recover from losing the baby," Rick said. "I think that's exactly how you feel right now not how you would feel if you had had it and then lost it."

"I didn't even have time to get attached, I lost it before knowing about... it. It happened and I accept it, I still think about it but it's still recent, I'll give it time."

"It's natural to feel that way, Cecilia, but it wasn't your fault. Those are things that happen... there is no explanation, no reason, they just do happen."

"I'm okay, really. I don't know why you think I feel guilt, I don't. I was scared and I thought I was going to die, that was it. I'm okay now."

"Okay," he said but I knew he didn't buy anything I said to him. "But even so, these are hard times for you and Daryl and I think you should be together, the two of you need each other. You didn't even say a word to each other today, and by the looks of it, you won't do it anytime soon," Rick told me as he glanced at Daryl, who was on the other side of our camp for tonight. "Don't let this break the two of you, stop it before it's too late."

"What do you mean?"

"This can only be a stone on the way and you can move on from this but sometimes that stone keeps making damage, making a bigger and bigger wound until it's too big to heal it. I'm telling you because that's what happened to me and Lori. I regret not being with her when she needed me, she reached out for me but I just kept pushing her away. Don't make that mistake and if he pushes you away, then try harder and harder. And if he is the one reaching out, then just don't push him away, bring him closer to you."

"And if we are both pushing each other away?"

"Then stop being so proud and push your anger away and go to him. Just don't give up. I know you love him and I know he loves you too."

I bit my lip and nodded at Rick, being unable to find words to say to him. He smiled, crouched even more and kissed the top of my head.

"You can always count on me," he told me. "For anything. I can even intervene and try to talk to him too if you both need it."  
"I know, thank you."

"And thank you for taking care of Judith today, I know she has gotten heavier lately."  
"No problem," I told him with a smile. "I can do it tomorrow too."

"We'll see," Rick said, returning my smile. "If you are not going to join Daryl tonight, you can join us. I'm sure Carl will be happy about that."

"Thanks."

After we ate the animals Daryl and I brought earlier, I took first watch, the night before I was free from doing that but today I volunteered to get the first one, then I woke Michonne up. I shook her slightly and she was up instantly.

I glanced at Daryl, he was close to Glenn and Maggie, I wanted to go over there and lie down next to him and fall asleep in his arms but the wound was too fresh at the moment. I needed to give it some more time. If Beth kissed him, it really wasn't his fault but every time I looked at him I imagined the scene and that just filled my soul with more rage and fury.

I looked around and almost went to Sasha, but I knew she would question me, same as Michonne and I really didn't need that now. Rick said I could join them but Carl would notice something being off and he would start planning stuff to fix our situation and I wasn't in the mood for that. I was just about to sit down on my spot from earlier, when Rick came to talk to me, all by myself when I saw Tara out of the corner of my eye. She was awake and she would probably be the only one to not question me about not being with Daryl at the moment, so I walked towards her.

"Can't sleep?" I asked her.

"No," she said with a sigh. "Every time I sleep I see my sister being eaten alive and what happened at the prison too."

"I get you," I told her. "It happened to me too, I lost my sister as well. A very long time ago and still, sometimes I get horrible images too."

"I'm sorry," she said. "Was it... you know, after the change?"

"Just like three months after everything started, she was Carl's age, uh do you mind if I join you?" I asked awkwardly.

"Oh, no, not at all."

"Thanks," I said with a smile as I sat next to her.

"Uh, are you okay? You seem... sad."

"I guess you can say I'm sad but I'm also okay."

"Anything you want to want to talk about?"

"No. Not tonight."

Do you know those days when you wake up and realize you are losing valuable time because you are not doing anything? Or just feel like you need a change and quick? That was today for me, :/

Anyway, QOTD, if you were in Cecilia's place, what would you have done? He may be Daryl Dixon but you gotta get mad right? Maybe not forever but you can't just run into his arms 3 seconds after that confession, right?

Another weird question, what do you think about killing the main character of a story? I swear I'm not planning to kill Cecilia, I do have ideas for events of season 7, so she's isn't dying any time soon. I promise. But wanted to know your opinion.


	35. Chapter 35 - Falling Apart

"Before I knew you, I thought brave was not being afraid.

You've taught me that bravery is being terrified and doing it anyway."

\- Laurell K. Hamilton, Blood Noir

Daryl's POV

Sasha woke me up about two hours ago to keep watch, it had been a while since my turn ended and I just had kept tossing on the ground, trying to fall asleep but I hadn't been able to.

I never thought I would actually be heartbroken in my life, I was Daryl Dixon for fuck's sake, but here I was, with a broken heart. It killed me to know how things were now between Cecilia and I, especially because of the Beth thing, and even when I didn't do anything, I felt extremely guilty because that shouldn't have happened in the first place.

But the thing that made me this mess was the news Cecilia said to me one night ago. I had tried to tell myself that Cecilia was right, things happened the way they should had happened. I think of the walkers and all the things we had gone through, like losing the farm, the prison, the Governor, those crazy people from Terminus and honestly having a baby is just insane but then I see Judith it makes me believe it could have been possible, we could have make it work, but it's not like it matters anymore, there's nothing we can do now.

When she told Gareth to spare her life because she was pregnant, I didn't know what to think and at the moment I had other things to worry about but once we escaped I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was scared, I won't deny that, hell, I was terrified, but surprisingly I actually felt excitement about it. I remembered when Judith was born and I took her in my arms and fed her for the very first time and I imagined that but doing it with my own kid but then I remembered seeing Sophia walking out of the barn and I got scared all over again, how could I overcome something like that, losing a young kid to walkers?

I worried about other stuff too. I knew I would never hit my own child or abuse them but there are other ways to be a bad parent. Carol never laid a finger on Cecilia and she was a bad mother until recently. Before, some kids were neglected because their parents were drug addicts or alcoholics or some barely even spent time with their kids because they were too busy working or some were just too young or even too old and didn't know how to do a good job. There are a million ways to suck as a parent and only a few to be a good one and I wasn't sure if I had what it takes.

But that first night after we escaped from Terminus, those thoughts and worries were interrupted by another thought, or actually a scene, sort of. The kind of vision I got when I was with Beth just popped into my mind. That make-up scene was a really happy one, with Hershel and the others back at the prison, plus two additions. Glenn's son and my baby girl. I almost cried as I relived that in my mind. Probably when I saw that the first time when Beth told me she thought Glenn and I would have kids, when my head just created it, just maybe, Cecilia was still pregnant or was losing it exactly on that moment.

When she told me she just lied to Gareth I admit I was really relieved but a bit disappointed, mostly relieved, though. But when she told me the whole truth, that changed everything. It really crushed me. I only believed I was going to have a baby for a bit more than a day but that didn't really make it hurt any less, especially when we had barely talked to each other. Even before telling her about Beth we hadn't been on the best of terms and I worry that she's shutting me and everyone else out. She might tell me she's okay and that this was for the best but I know her too well and I know she's hurting too. Or she's still in denial and the pain will come later, either way, she worries me.

I want to go to her and hold her in my arms like I used to, I want to tell her everything is going to be alright but I get she needs her space. If I try to do all that she just will keep pushing me farther and farther away, and not just me but everyone else. I've noticed she had been making small talk with some of us but still keeps her distance, instead of always being with her mother because they were apart for months or sticking with Carl, Rick or Michonne, she has been with that new girl, Tara. She's avoiding confrontations, questions, just anything she can avoid but she also feels lonely, she needs someone, so she gets Tara to keep her company.

"Can't sleep?" I heard a female voice muttering in a low tone very close to me as I played with the pictures of the two of us I got from the prison, I didn't even realize I was doing that. I turned around and saw Carol, standing only a few steps from me.

"No," I mumbled as I sat up and looked up at her. "And you?"

"Abraham woke me up about thirty minutes ago for my watch," she told me. "I thought you would just fall asleep but when I realized you weren't, I thought we could keep each other company, if you want."

I only nodded at her, not knowing what to say. I knew I wouldn't fall asleep anytime soon and maybe Carol could distract me from my endless thoughts, I didn't want to think about Cecilia, or Beth or the now gone baby, I just wanted some peace.

"You okay?" Carol asked me as she sat down right where she was standing. "You seem conflicted."

"I am conflicted," I admitted. "Nothing important, though."

"It must be to keep you up at night." I sighed.

"Has Cecilia said anything to you since Terminus, anything at all?"

I guess being with your fiancée's mother doesn't really help you to forget about your problems concerning your fiancée, especially when the two of them had the same eyes and the same look on them.

"No. I tried to talk to her today, I know something is bothering her but you know how she is. She bottles up so many things inside, just destroying herself until she can't take it anymore and gets out everything all at once but by then the damage is already done and then she does it again and again. She has always been like this, even as a little girl," she told me with a sad smile. "I think that she thinks telling people will make her seem weak."  
"That," I said nodding, knowing exactly how she felt because I felt it too. "She also doesn't want anyone's pity."

"Daryl," she said softly. "Is there something I have to know?"

I looked at the older woman right into her icy blue eyes, I opened my mouth ready to spill everything but I hesitated, so I closed it soon, not knowing how to start and I chickened out. I started to feel vulnerable even if we weren't going to talk about me, but about Cecilia.

I really wanted to tell her absolutely everything, because as she said, I also needed to get things out of my chest. I felt the urge to just tell somebody about the things that were happening but I had never been good at it, I never told anyone my problems, pretty much like Cecilia.

"No," I finally said. "If there's something she wants to tell you, she will at her own time."

"I don't mean to intrude," she said as she turned to look at the ground. "But is everything okay between the two of you? The other night she also spent it with Tara. I don't enjoy watching you two hold hands and especially kiss but it's weird seeing you like this... so cold, so distant, so miserable."

"We've been better but we are okay," I said, trying to convince myself that we were in fact okay and everything was going to improve from now on. "The separation and everything that has happened has been hard for us, especially for her."

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked me, completely shocking me. Only months ago she would have celebrated we were like this, hoping for us to be over for good. Telling Cecilia how I was never good for her and this was just a silly whim.

"Thanks but no, this is something the two of us have to fix," I told her.

Carol nodded at me but she offered her help once again. She has truly changed, she accepted us only because she wanted her relationship with Cecilia to improve, she wanted to make emends but I never imagined that with time she would just not be okay, or pretend to be, because of that but also completely accept it and being truly happy for us, just for the simple fact we were happy being together.

"I proposed to her," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

A part of me expected her smile to vanish and Carol to grab her knife and stab me repeatedly, and all she just said was just bullshit but her smile even got bigger, and it was a real smile, making me smile too.

"I'm surprised she didn't tell me," she told me as her smile slightly shrank but she still looked happy. "Either way, I'm happy for the two of you, congratulations!"

"Thank you," I said with a smile.

"When did it happen?"

"About a month and a half after the virus outbreak, I wasn't sure if it was the right time to do it. I had been wanting to do it for weeks and always hesitated, hoping to find a nice time to do it but then I thought, there is always something happening so I'm waiting for something that just won't come, so I just decided to do it."

"I'm really happy, seriously!"

"I know this was hard for you, accepting us but I assure you Carol that I love your daughter with all my heart and I would never hurt her."

"I know that now," she told me. "It was just... weird, I guess. I always knew you were a nice man... I just... I don't know, I guess I only wanted to protect her from everything, I never could and Ed and Sophia were gone, I only had her."

"I know, I understand. If I had a daughter I wouldn't like her dating a man close to my age. It's cool, Carol."

I smiled at the woman but soon my smile disappeared when I processed what I had just said. _If I had a daughter._ The pain came back, the pain I had tried hard to get rid of.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

"Thank you," she told me suddenly. "For taking care of her while I was gone. I couldn't stop thinking about her, wondering how she was, what she was doing..."

Our conversation was interrupted by a branch breaking, followed by more noise, someone rubbing against twigs and leaves. I grabbed my crossbow and stood up immediately, looking around, Carol did the same soon after me. I took some steps forward as I tried to see something but I didn't see anything and heard nothing else.

"It's nothing," I told Carol after some seconds of just silence. It could be anything, any animal, even a lizard or a rat even when my guts were telling me that if it was a rat, it wasn't the furry type with whiskers.

Still looking at the direction where I believed the noise came from, I walked backwards and sat down again. Carol didn't though. I heard her sigh but she was just as uneasy as me about what we just heard.

"I'll go wake Tyreese, I think my turn is over," she told me. "Besides, I need to check on Mika. Night Daryl."

"Hold up," I said quickly, making her stop in her tracks and turn to look down at me. "You were right, Carol."

"About what?" she asked confused.

"You told me on few occasions that Cecilia would just kind of crumble and break and I never believed you, I thought you were just underestimating her and I hated when you told me that. But unfortunately, you were right. I saw the signs and remembered what you said, even the part when you told me to be ready because you might not be around her when it happened. I tried everything to stop her from sinking, it was a daily struggle but we made it, she made it."

"She has just been so strong for so long, enduring everything that is thrown at her that at a point anything, even just the touch of a feather can break her. And I'm afraid this might happen again, so we must be ready. She might not even realize what it's happening until it's too late," she told me and I just nodded. "I knew you would see the signs early, I knew. Believe it or not, you saved her Daryl and I'm so grateful for that."

Carol smiled at me one more time before going to her spot next to Mika. I lied down again, on my back this time instead of my stomach, now I had even more things on my head preventing me from falling asleep, I had everything from my problems with Cecilia plus the worries of the noise we just heard, plus what Carol said about truly being happy for us, which was a very good thing, I knew Cecilia would just be overjoyed when I tell her.

Speaking of her, she had started whining in her sleep, Carol had fallen asleep by now and Tyreese wasn't going to wake her up unless she starts screaming. Not being able to see her like this, I stood up quickly and walked towards her, she was moving her head and her hands and she was muttering words. I put my hands over her shoulders and slightly shook her as I whispered nice things to wake her up but nothing.

"Help me. So much blood. Please." Those were some of the words I could understand, and I assumed she was dreaming with walkers. "I can't. I can't." I shook her a bit more but she wouldn't open her eyes, she just kept saying more things, these were really not in English or to me they seemed to be of a foreign language except the last two words. "I'm sorry."

Then she finally opened her eyes, which were watery. She gasped and looked down at herself, running her hands frantically over her body as she sat down in less than a second after she woke up. I wasn't sure what she was looking for, maybe a bite, or a shot wound but of course there was nothing like that.

"It's okay, it was just a nightmare," I whispered as I tried to calm her down. "I'm here, nothing is going to happen to you, alright?"

Cecilia nodded at me but she still looked frightened, she hugged her knees close to her chest and buried her face in them. I took a deep breath before wrapping my arms around her frail and shaking frame. I kissed the top of her head and that made her calm down a bit.

"There was so much blood," she mumbled. "I was dying."

"It wasn't real," I told her. "You are not going to die."

I laid her down on the ground after she stopped shaking and started to breathe normally. She was getting sleepy again, I tried to leave but she was holding on to my shirt and my vest. I looked at her and she begged me with those eyes of hers to not go, she didn't say a single word but I knew what she wanted, so I lied down completely and wrapped her in my arms. I kissed the top of her head once again as she buried her head in my chest.

"Nothing is going to happen to you," I repeated in a very low tone. "Nothing."

The next morning as soon as I woke up I went to talk to Rick about what I heard last night, that was still going in circles inside my head, even when being so close to Cecilia helped me sleep quickly.

So, after eating something really fast, I went looking for tracks, or anything that could tell me what happened during the night. Rick and I decided we weren't going to tell the others to not alarm them, so whenever I saw a squirrel, I got that squirrel, plus we really needed something to eat.

Rick told me the direction they were heading in case I wasn't back soon, so I just followed their tracks until I caught up with them, once I did I realized they were all pointing their guns at me.

"We surrender," I said jokingly as I raised my hands and in the process the squirrels I got too.

I looked at all of them and they all seemed relieved it was just me as they lowered their weapons, I even caught Cecilia smiling at me, she was the only one who didn't pointed something at me because she had Judith in her arms. It pained me to see her with the young girl but I pushed it aside and immediately joined Rick, who was eager to know what I had to say to him.  
"No tracks," I told him. "No nothing."  
"So whatever you heard last night..."

"It's more what I felt," I said. "If someone was watching us, there would have been something."  
I kept walking while Rick stopped and turned around to look at the rest of us, which we had left behind after I joined them. Rick whistled.

"Keep close," he told them.  
"Ready to get some concrete under your feet?" I heard Abraham asking.

"I think it's time," Rick told him.  
"That is sweet music to my ears, Officer," Abraham said. "Take the next road we come to, try to get back to going north till we find a vehicle. Good?"

"Good."  
As we walked I glanced back and saw Carol had an arm around Mika's shoulders and both had smiles on their faces, Mika was telling her a story. I also saw Cecilia on the back of the group, close to Tara. She was speaking to the brunette girl but she was also talking to Judith, who was giggling. I looked away quickly, feeling a pang on my heart. Yesterday it killed me to see her with Judith and today it didn't get any better, if any, it got worse.

I was lost in my thoughts when I heard someone screaming for help, making me snap out of my mind. We all stood in our spots until Carl got Rick to run to the man and help him.

When we got to the place Carl didn't waste a moment to shoot the first walker, while Rick went to stab another one. There was a man on top of a big rock, surrounded by five walkers, trying to reach him. Michonne and Carol got care of the two while I shot an arrow at the last one.

"We're clear. Keep watch!" Rick told the others, with all those screams more walkers could come. "Come on down."

The bald, dark-skinned man looked beyond terrified and once I had a good look at him, I found it extremely ridiculous he was dressed as a priest. If he was one before, that was cool but why dress like that after all this time? Whatever. He jumped down to the ground but he was still pretty shaken up.  
"You okay?" Rick asked him.

The man was about to answer when he just puked, I looked away quickly, being disgusted by that. Cecilia made a face as she turned around and looked at some random tree instead.

"Sorry," the man said after he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Yes, thank you. I'm Gabriel."  
"Do you have any weapons on you?" The man chuckled at Rick's question.

"Do I look like I would have any weapons?"

"We don't give two short and curlies what it looks like," Abraham said.  
"I have no weapons of any kind," he told us. "The word of God is the only protection I need."  
"Sure didn't look like it," I said, not being able to stop myself.  
"I called for help," he said, looking at me first, but then looking at everyone else. "Help came. Do you have – have any food? Whatever I – I had left, it just hit the ground."  
"We've got some pecans," Carl said quickly, offering him a few of those.  
"Thank you."  
I heard Judith making some noise then, making Gabriel look at the little girl. I turned to look at her as well, but my eyes landed on Cecilia, not on the baby. We hadn't talked today, not because we didn't want to but because we hadn't had the chance, maybe after last night we were starting to fix things, hopefully.

"That's a beautiful child," Gabriel commented as he looked from Judith to Cecilia. Cecilia only awkwardly smiled at him and slightly nodded. "Do you have a camp?"

"No," Rick said quickly. "Do you?"

"I have a church." I almost scoffed at him.  
"Hold your hands above your head," Rick told him. The man looked scared once again as he slowly raised his hands, Rick started to search him. "How many walkers have you killed?"

"Not any, actually."  
"Turn around. How many people have you killed?"

"None."  
"Why?"

"Because the Lord abhors violence."  
"What have you done?" Rick asked him, knowing the man was hiding something. "We've all done something."  
"I'm a sinner," he muttered. "I sin almost every day but those sins, I confess them to God, not strangers."  
"You said you had a church?" Michonne asked him, speaking for the first time. Gabriel nodded.

Gabriel actually offered to take us to his church, we agreed but we were going to take precautions even from him. After everything that had happened to us, we couldn't trust anyone, especially a man that claims that God protects him. He couldn't have survived all these months without killing a single walker, without carrying any kind of gun, not even a stick.

This time as we walked, I made sure to stay next to Cecilia. We kept going in silence but she glanced up at me and smiled.

"About last night," she whispered, I barely heard her. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me for that," I told her as I allowed myself to put an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head like I did last night. "What was it about?"

"Nothing, it was just a nightmare," she said quickly as she lowered her gaze to Judith. "I barely remember now."

"Okay." I knew she was lying but I wasn't going to push it when she obviously didn't want to talk about it. "Give me your bag, it looks heavy," I told her as I noticed she was carrying her backpack, the crossbow plus Judith.

"I'm fine," she mumbled.

"Just give it to me, we don't know how far is that church, all that weight is going to tire you up."

"When that happens I'll give Judith to Rick or Carl, or anyone else," she told me. "I can do it."

"Carl told me you were pretty weak before Terminus," I said. "He was concerned about you."

"I'm better now."

Another thing about Cecilia that drove me crazy was her stubbornness, I could be stubborn but she won the prize by much. It frustrated me so much, even more than her trying to seem tough, even when that meant something as silly as carrying a backpack. I hated it when she didn't allow me to help her, to give her a hand with something.

I knew she grew up wanting help and not getting it, therefore having to rely only on herself, it was like that all her life, just like in my case. But I wish she could realize that was over now and now we had each other, we were together in this, that part of our lives was over. I was willing to let her help me and I wish she could be too, she made me see I needed her months and months ago, now I needed her to see that too.

"Hey, earlier, were you watching us?" Rick asked him as we followed the man, interrupting my thoughts.

"I keep to myself. Nowadays, people are just as dangerous as the dead, don't you think?"

"No, people are worse," I told him.

"Well, I wasn't watching you. I haven't been beyond the stream near my church more than a few times since it all started. That was the furthest I've gone before today. Or maybe I'm lying," he said suddenly, making me glance at him. "Maybe I'm lying about everything and there's no church ahead at all. Maybe I'm leading you into a trap so I can steal all your squirrels."

The man laughed but we didn't. He turned around and looked how serious we all looked, I tightened my grip around Cecilia and glared at Gabriel.  
"Members of my flock had often told me that my sense of humour leaves much to be desired," he told us quickly.

"They were right," Cecilia muttered. "I suggest you to not say anything like that again."

Gabriel followed Cecilia's advice said anything else for the rest of the way. As before I kept close to Cecilia, things weren't the same as before but I could tell that after last night we were better.

About minutes later we finally saw the church, I saw a sign that read ST. SARAH'S CHURCH. I quickened my pace to be on the lead with Rick, just in case.  
"Hold up," Rick told Gabriel as he was about to open the door. "Can we take a look around first? We just want to hold on to our squirrels."

Gabriel handed the keys to Rick, seeing he had no other choice. When he opened the door, he walked in first, followed closely by Michonne and me, then Carol and Glenn. I told Cecilia to stay behind while we checked the place, she wanted to come inside but I told her to look after Carl and Judith in case thetr were people outside too, she finally agreed.

The church looked like any other at first sight, but we continued further. I went inside one of the rooms on the back of it while the Michonne and Glenn went to the other. There was nothing in here besides religious stuff, nothing worthy right now and luckily no humans either. I heard Rick whistling then, meaning everything was alright, so I took a final glance before walking out of there.

"She isn't mine." I heard Cecilia saying to Gabriel as I reached the front door, she seemed uncomfortable and looked away from Gabriel. I had no idea what the man said to her but it made her feel really awkward.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Gabriel told her quickly. Luckily Rick walked out of the church then, so Gabriel drew his attention to him instead of Cecilia. "I spent months here without stepping out the front door," he said. "If you found someone inside, well, it would have been surprising."  
"Thanks for this," Carl told him, for some reason he seemed to like the man.  
"We found a short bus out back," Abraham informed Rick. "It don't run, but I bet we could fix that in less than a day or two. Father here says he doesn't want it. Looks like we found ourselves some transport. You understand what's at stake here, right?"

I stood next to Cecilia as Rick started to caress Judith's head, who now was in Carl's arms, while she was gripping her crossbow, ready to shoot in case something happened out here. I put my hand on her shoulder, she was extremely tense. I frowned but said nothing about it.

"Yes, I do."  
"Now that we can take a breath –"

"We take a breath, we slow down, shit inevitably goes down," Abraham said, interrupting Michonne.  
"We need supplies no matter what we do next," Michonne told him.  
"That's right," Rick said, agreeing with her. "Water, food, ammunition."

Abraham didn't look happy but he had to accept we need to eat and drink and is better if we have guns and ammunition. We also need some rest. Besides his problem is not our problem, he looked more upset about having to stay than Eugene himself.

"Short bus ain't going nowhere," I told him as I put a hand on the small of Cecilia's back, slightly pushing her forward as we started walking towards the church once again. Now that we made sure it was safe the others could go in. "Bring you back some baked beans."

"One way or another, we're doing what Rick does." I heard Glenn saying to the ginger man. "We're not splitting up again."  
Once inside we sat on different benches. Cecilia sat next to her mum and I sat next to her. Instead of doing nothing like she had done lately, she put her hand on top of mine, and gripped it. I smiled at the gesture and also closed my hand to give it a squeeze.

"How'd you survive here for so long? Where did your supplies come from?" Rick asked.

"Luck. Our annual canned food drive. Things fell apart right after we finished it. It was just me," Gabriel said. "The food lasted a long time and then I started scavenging. I've cleaned out every place nearby, except for one."  
"What kept you from it?" Rick asked him.

"It's overrun."  
"How many?"

"A dozen or so, maybe more."  
"We can handle a dozen," Rick told him.  
"Bob and I will go with you," Sasha exclaimed quickly, walking towards Rick. "Tyreese should stay here, help keep Judith safe." Tyreese smiled.  
"That'll be okay?"

"Sure," Tyreese said. "You ever need me to watch her, need anything for her, I'm right here."  
"I'm grateful for it," Rick told him as he took a few steps towards him. "And everything else."

"I'll draw you a map," Gabriel said quickly.  
"You don't need to," Rick told him. "You're coming with us."  
"I'm not gonna be of any help. You saw me. I'm no good around those things."  
"You're coming with us."

"We'll go around the town, maybe we can find something," Maggie spoke up.

As we talked and decided who was going to do what, it was settled that Rick and Gabriel were going to that store Gabriel mentioned with Sasha, Bob and Michonne. Maggie, Glenn and Tara were going to look inside some stores in town, hoping to find something, Abraham, Rosita and Eugene were going to stay and try to fix the bus,Tyreese was going to stay with Carl, Mika and Judith, while Carol, Cecilia and I were going to look for water.

"Alright, let's go!" I exclaimed as I stood up. I started walking and noticed only Carol was following me. I turned around and noticed Cecilia was still sat on the bench, her hands were resting on her lap, and she was looking at them. "Cecilia?"

I walked back to where she was, she didn't even look up at me. I frowned and knelt in front of her, I grabbed one of her hands and that's when she turned to look at me.

"Didn't you hear me? It's time to go."

"I will go with Glenn," she whispered as she turned to look at her lap again.

"Why?" She just shrugged at me. "Uh... alright."

I stood slowly and awkwardly, not knowing what else to say or do. It really shocked me she didn't want to come with me, only months ago whenever she knew I was going on a run she would immediately get herself in, now she's going with Glenn, Maggie and Tara. I wouldn't have been so confused and even hurt if she had told me she was going to stay with Carl, she has a weak spot for him.

"I'll see you later then."

I glanced at her one more time as I walked towards the door, Carol was already out of here, just waiting. I sighed and decided to handle this later, maybe some time on our own will make us good.


	36. Chapter 36 - Confessing

"Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real."

\- Cormac McCarthy, All the Pretty Horses

Cecilia's POV

I waited until I saw Glenn finally walking out of the church, people were still getting ready, only Daryl and my mother had already left, it was a small group and Daryl didn't have much to grab to get ready so they left quickly.

I stood up and approached Glenn after he finished talking to Rick. I stood in front of him, making him stop. He raised his eyebrow at me but didn't say anything to me, he just waited for me to speak.

"I'm going with you," I told him with a smile.

"Are you?" he asked surprised. "Alright but I thought you were going with Daryl and Carol."

"They already left."

"Okay then," Glenn said, finally smiling back at me.

Glenn and I walked out of the church together to meet with Maggie and Tara, who were waiting for Glenn to finish talking to Rick. Maggie raised her eyebrows when she saw me with Glenn and that I actually intended to go with them on this run.  
"Are you coming with us?" Tara asked before Maggie could.

"Yes, I am," I said smiling at her.

Both girls smiled at me as Glenn told us to start going. Maggie and him were on the lead while Tara and I were a couple of steps behind them. I saw how Maggie grabbed Glenn's hand and I felt a pang on my heart, wishing I could do that with Daryl.

I wasn't completely sure why I decided not to go with him and my mother, I just wanted to stay away from them both for a while. I knew Daryl would have tried to talk about our issues and that look on his eyes, I can't just look at him right now, and I know my mother suspects something is going on, she had been giving me those looks when she wants me to spill what's wrong, and I'm not ready to tell her anything.

I was actually surprised my mother and Daryl were alone, before that would have been impossible. They would have killed each other.

About ten minutes later of walking through the woods we finally got to civilization, so to speak. There were some shops and some houses around, it was nice to not be in the middle of the woods anymore. I smiled, knowing tonight we might not sleep on the hard cold ground.

"Is it hard?" Tara asked me, making me turn to look at her, she just pointed at the crossbow.

"Not anymore. It took me a few days to get the hang of it and some more weeks to be accurate," I told her. "Daryl taught me around a year ago."

"He seems nice... sometimes," she told me. "Is he your boyfriend?"

"Uh, my fiancé actually," I said with a sad smile.

"Oh, is that why you wear that ring?" Tara asked me, looking down at my hand. "I thought it didn't mean anything."

"Yeah, he asked me about two or three months ago."

"You are lucky then," she told me. "During all this time I only had a partner, it didn't last longer than a few weeks."

"What happened? You broke apart or was he bit or something else?" I asked, not being sure if I should be asking or not.

"She died," Tara simply said, shocking me a bit.

"She?" I asked very surprised.

"Yeah," Tara asked, looking a bit shy. "I'm into girls."

"Oh. So, what happened?"

"She was killed at the prison," she told me as she got really uncomfortable. "I don't blame the person who killed her, I saw it all. She was just defending herself."

"Is she alive? Is she in our group?"

"Yeah."

"That must be hard," I told her. "Living with the person who killed your girlfriend."  
"I understand, besides, you all accepted me. It's pretty much the same thing"

After that Tara accelerated her pace, obviously not wanting to talk more about it. I sighed. If someone even tries to kill Daryl, in self-defence or not, I would just lose it and kill that son of a bitch, no excuses, no nothing.

We stopped on one of the stores that didn't have the door open. I knocked and after a few moments of waiting, I realized there were no walkers inside. Maggie opened the door and then I went in with my crossbow raised. Even if it seemed empty, it could still be dangerous, walkers could be in here, trapped, or people could be hiding.

Glenn and I checked the place while Maggie and Tara waited outside. All I found was two used bullets and a dead rat.

The four of us continued looking inside places and it seemed like today wasn't our day, we hadn't found anything useful or edible so far and I was starting to believe we were not going to find something.

We reached a gun store there and it really looked like our luck wasn't going to change here, this probably was the place that was emptied first, probably at the very start. Glenn told the three of us to wait outside, we finally agreed.

"You know, I didn't want to mention anything when we looked this place up in the phone book, but I just can't imagine a gun store having leftovers nowadays," Tara said after some minutes of waiting for Glenn.

"Don't look good, does it?" Maggie muttered.

"I think we are just wasting out time," I told them.

Then we heard the sound of many things falling to the ground, Maggie, Tara and I ran to the entrance, they with her guns in their hands while I had my crossbow. Glenn walked out of the place only moments later. He looked a bit startled.

"Was it a walker?" Tara asked him.

"Uh, yeah," he mumbled. "It was a walker."  
"Really?" I asked as I lowered my crossbow.

"It was a stack of boxes and a mop and I tripped," Glenn admitted, I burst out laughing, soon joined by Tara and Maggie. "Still got what we came for."  
"You actually found something?" I asked surprised as Glenn took some things out of his back pocket and handed them to Tara.

"Three silencers stashed in a mini-fridge," he said and then he started to walk, I took some steps soon after him. "Rule number one of scavenging... there's nothing left in this world that isn't hidden."  
We walked to the next store and as expected we found nothing, Maggie and Glenn went to another store in front of the one Tara and I went to. Tara looked in every drawer in the left side of the store while I looked in the right side but found nothing. When we walked out, Maggie and Glenn were already waiting for us.

"Nothing?" Maggie asked.

"Nothing," I said, disappointed. "You?"

"Just dust," she told me.

"I hope the others have better luck than us," I said as I started walking.

"Let's search just this block, if we find something or not, I think it's time to come back," Glenn told us.

Glenn and I went inside all the stores on the left side of the street while Maggie and Tara looked all the stores on the right so we could finish quicker.

"So, why did you come with me, with us?" Glenn asked me after we had searched half of the stores.

"What? Don't you miss our runs together?" I said with a smile. "I didn't see you for weeks, wanted to spend some time with you."

"From what I heard," Glenn said as he stopped searching and turned to look at me. "You didn't see Daryl either for almost the same time. What is going on?"

"Nothing," I said quickly. How could I tell him that his sister-in-law kissed my fiancé? I didn't think they needed to know that or anything else. "Seriously Glenn, I missed you."

"You are my friend, we always were, right?" I nodded. "You can trust me."

"I know, but it's nothing. I'm fine."

"Whenever you say you are fine, you really aren't," Glenn told me, I bit my lip and looked down at the ground.

"Well, our home was bombed, lots of people that were our friends died. We almost became some crazy people's dinner," I exclaimed loudly. "I think I'm fine compared to what has been happening these last weeks, plus I kind of bumped into my ex-boyfriend and had to kill him."

"What?" Glenn exclaimed in shock.

"It's nothing," I repeated, I wasn't sure how that just slipped. Glenn didn't knew about Peter, about me going to jail and I seriously didn't want to tell him, only Daryl knew, and my mother of course. "He was part of the group that was following Rick and me, we killed them all."

"Does Daryl know?"

"Yeah, I told him. But seriously, I'm over that. He got what he deserved." I sighed. "Look, I know I haven't been myself lately, I know everything has been so hard but I'm fine. I appreciate that you care and worry about me but there is no need, I'll be okay."

"So, you are not okay now," he told me quickly.

"Let's just keep looking, we don't want to lose more time here."

"I'm not letting this go so easily, Cici," he said. "I'm your friend."

"I know."

Glenn didn't bring it up again but I knew he wasn't going to drop it, like he said. About an hour later we were all done, all we found was the three silencers, a small bag of chips, which we ate on our way back, and two knives, that was it.

As we walked back, actually joking and having a good time, despite finding next to nothing, I ended up in the back with Tara once again. We hadn't talked since the start of this run.

"About how I acted before, I'm sorry," she told me out of nowhere. "I didn't care much about Alisha, I mean, I only met her for a few weeks, it wasn't serious or anything."

"Okay," I said, not knowing what else to say. "If you didn't care much about her, why did you get so... so evasive?"

"I don't like speaking of that day, I still feel guilty plus if we kept talking I would have eventually said something you didn't need to know but a part of me feels like you should know but please don't feel bad about it, I completely understand."

"What are you talking about?" I asked confused. "What do I need to know?"

"That day, a girl attacked you, right?" I nodded, still not making the connection. "That was Alisha, my girlfriend. I know it wasn't your fault and I don't blame you."

I stared at her in disbelief. I even gaped at her. I lowered my gaze, not being able to look into her dark eyes any longer, not after this.

"I'm so s..."

"Don't, you aren't supposed to feel sorry. She went after you, you had to do it."

"I don't care. I feel bad for every person I've killed, believe it or not."

"You've killed more people?" she asked me.

"A few, yeah."

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked that. All I wanted to tell you is that I'm good with you, I don't have any bad feeling towards you, I don't blame you."

I nodded at her, still, this situation was very awkward. She smiled a bit before following Maggie and Glenn again, who had noticed we stopped but gave us space to talk. I sighed and went after them too, but what Tara told me still was going around in circles in my head.

Then, I stopped dead in my tracks once we had reached the woods and were only about eight minutes away from the church.

I got flashbacks of that day, of that specific fight with that girl. I remembered pretty much everything, every punch, every attempt to kill the other, how I ended up killing her but what made me stop was remembering when she hit me in the stomach with her big rifle, I remembered I struggled to breathe after that and the huge bruise she made on my side and front part of my torso but I also remembered going peeing that night and seeing I had blood in my underwear.

I was dying to ask Tara if she knew the girl that I had fought that day but I knew it was a sensible topic for her so I never got the courage to ask her but now I know. The girl that most likely killed my baby was named Alisha, and she was Tara's girlfriend.

Daryl's POV

"You okay?" I asked Carol as we walked down the road, after we got the water.

"Gotta be," she simply told me.  
"We get to start over," I told her. "All of us with each other. You saved us all by yourself."  
"We got lucky. We all should be dead." As we walked we saw an abandoned car ahead of us. "I'll check it."  
"All right." I was still shocked at her words, how could she think we should be dead?  
Carol got inside the car and tried to start the engine but the battery was dead, it just wouldn't start. She got out and checked the trunk.

"Hey, we ain't dead," I told her. "And whatever happened, happened. Let's start over."  
"I want to."  
"Well, you can," I said, she was trying a back-up battery that was in the trunk. "You have Cecilia back now, she's not upset at you. None of us is."  
"We should leave this here for backup in case things go south at the church," she said, changing the subject.  
"I know you don't want to talk about it but just let it go. You saved us, you saved your daughter, that's all that matters."

Carol said nothing to me, she just grabbed the two containers with water and started to walk. I sighed. Now I know where Cecilia got her stubbornness from.

"About last night," I said quickly, making her stop in her tracks. "When you asked me if there was something you should know, well, there is. Actually there are a lot of things you should know."

"Yeah?" Carol asked, she still wasn't facing me.

"Many things happened."

"Is that why Cecilia is like this now, so distant?" Carol asked me as she finally turned around and looked at me. I nodded at her. "Well, what happened?"

"If she hasn't told you," I exclaimed as I walked towards her. "It's because she doesn't want you to know, she might get upset at me for telling you but I think you should know, you deserve to know."  
"Okay, I'm ready, just shoot."

I sighed. "This is going to be really hard. After you were exiled, you came back to tell us that you had run into Sean and that you thought something was weird about him, right?" She nodded. "Rick didn't tell you that Cecilia had been missing for days, just as Sean."

"What?" she almost shouted. "Why? What happened?"

"Carol, right after you left with Rick that day, Sean and Cecilia went out, she thought Rick ordered them to check the snares but it was a trap. Sean kidnapped her."

"And I just find out about this now!?" Carol shouted. "What did he do? Why?"

"I told you last night, Cecilia... broke. It was because of that. Sean was in love with Cecilia, since the very start, he wanted her all for himself, he wanted to kill me and Rick."

"What happened while she was with him? How long did this happen? Daryl, please tell me, what did he do?"

"She had a lot of bruises, a lot of wounds. The ropes caused most of the wounds plus he hit her a couple of times. Based on what she told me, he almost raped her but he didn't. She was a mess for weeks, but I didn't let her slip, I did what you told me. I saw she was slowly losing herself and I brought her back," I told her, trying to calm her down, she was at the verge of tears. " She was gone for around a week, I can't really remember how long exactly. I tried everything to find her but if you hadn't told us about Sean, we probably wouldn't have found her on time."

"Was she with him when I found him?"

"Yes, Cecilia told me she was in a bathtub when you got in the house, she heard your voice."

"Oh my God!" Carol exclaimed as she covered her mouth with her hand as she slowly got down to her knees. She was sobbing.

"This wasn't your fault," I assured her. "You told us where you saw him, we were going there when we kind of bumped into them. She got the virus, Carol. She was sick, she almost died."

I knelt in front of Carol who was crying harder now, her head was hung low as she tried to hid her face from me. I took a deep breath as I told Carol the whole story, everything. Since she disappeared until we found her and she got better, she made some questions and I answered them all.

Carol felt guilty for not walking inside the house, for not sensing something more was going on, but I told her she wasn't to blame here. I told her that maybe if she had done that, Sean would have killed her and then we wouldn't have known where Sean was.

I suspected that was one reason why Cecilia hadn't told her mother about that, because she would feel guilty about not knowing she was in there and because she hated talking about it, she just wanted to leave all that shit behind her and I don't blame her, it was awful. I still get furious with myself when I think about it.

"Is she like this because of that?" Carol asked me when she finally looked up at me. "Can't be, something else happened right?"

"I think it still affects her, it still haunts her, like sometimes when people touch her she gets very tense and steps away from them but you are right something else happened."

"I thought so, if she was like this since then, you wouldn't be engaged now. She would be too broken to even consider getting married. What else happened?"

"Lots of things," I admitted. "You know Peter, her ex-boyfriend or something?"

"Yeah, but they dated a very long time, I don't even think that guy is still alive, he was an idiot," Carol told me. "Why you ask me?"

"He's not alive anymore. Cecilia killed him."

"You are joking right?"

"I wish. I wasn't there but Rick and Cecilia killed two guys from a group and they tracked them and ambushed them one night, I was with them and Peter was part of that. I know it was hard for her to kill someone she once knew but she just keeps repeating she should have done that the first time."

"You know what happened between them?" I nodded.

"She told me a while ago."

"She stood up for herself, she did what I couldn't. I tried to get her the best lawyer I could find and pay for everything but she still went to jail, all for that jerk."

This time it was Carol who talked, she told me about those times when things were really bad at home. Told me when Cecilia decided to move to New York, told me she didn't know she was going with Peter, otherwise she wouldn't have allowed it. She also told me when she got the call from Cecilia telling her she was arrested and might go to jail for a long time.

"I sent her some money every week once she got out," she told me. "I tried to persuade her to come back, but of course that she didn't. Prison changed her. It made her even colder, she stopped believing in humanity or in anything else, she wasn't living, just surviving each day. But it also made her stronger in ways that only that place could have taught her, she learnt how to deal with that kind of people, she learnt to read people, to know when someone was really bad. I now think all that was useful, at least for these times. Maybe that's why she knew the Governor was a bad man and Andrea and all those people didn't. All I know is that what seemed horrible years ago, now can be used as an advantage, and she has done that, somehow, turned it into her favour."  
"She has," I agreed.

Carol stood up then, and took off any dirt from her trousers. Her eyes were puffy and red from all the crying but she stopped a while ago, she looked better.

"Peter, huh? Who would have imagined?" she exclaimed. "Small world."

"Carol," I muttered as she was picking up the containers of water. "I think you should sit down again for what I'm going to tell you now."

She looked scared at my words, I knew I was throwing bomb after bomb after bomb at her but she needed to know what has been happening in Cecilia's life since she left, maybe she could help her now that she had been pushing me away, maybe it was her mother she needed now.

"That bad, huh? Alright, I guess I can take it," she said as she sat down with her legs crossed in front of me.

"I'm going to tell you something first and then I'll tell you that bad thing, okay?" She nodded.

With great difficulty I told Carol everything that happened with Beth after the prison, even that she kissed me. She didn't even blink when I told her, she didn't even react. I really thought she was going to say something like _'I knew you weren't good for my daughter'_ or _'you cheated on her? No doubt she's avoiding you,'_ but that wasn't the case.

"I heard Beth talking to Amanda, that redhead girl from Woodbury," Carol told me. "She told her she was starting to have a stupid crush on you and she hated it because you were with Cecilia. I never really thought she would do something about it but she was drunk, right? Just don't worry about it, I know Cecilia will come around, you are not that kind of man, Daryl. She knows that and I do too now."

"Thanks."

"Is that why you wanted me to sit down?"

"No, I just thought I should tell you that first and get it over with."

Carol took a very deep breath to prepare herself for what I was about to say. I took one too because this also concerned me, and a lot.

"I think you should hand me your knife before I say anything," I said teasingly.

"Come on, you already told me another girl kissed you. I'm sure what you have to say won't make me want to stab you, don't worry."

I smiled nervously, I was just about to tell Carol she could have become a grandmother if things had been different, I was sure that was enough excuse to want to stab me but I hoped she wouldn't.

"I just found out and I still don't know how to really feel about it, how to deal with it," I said, this time being me the one looking down at the pavement road underneath us. I sighed once again and my eyes watered. "Cecilia lost a baby, Carol."

I heard Carol gasped but I didn't dare to look up at her, I just glanced her way quickly, making sure she wasn't getting her knife ready to stab me and kill me for getting her daughter pregnant, but all she did was looking sadly at me.

"When did you find out?"

"A day after you saved us, she said she lost it after the prison was attacked. I didn't even know she was pregnant, actually, she didn't know either until... until it happened."

"How do you feel about it?"

"I feel like I failed her, like if this was somehow my fault. I wasn't there to help her."

"What else?" she asked me and I only furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion. "What about the actual loss?"

"I am..." I stopped talking for a while, thinking how I really feel about it, thing I hadn't really done, I was sad and shocked and I felt guilt more than anything for not being there for her when it happened, I really hadn't had the chance to concentrate on just my feelings, not thinking about Cecilia but just on the baby, I hadn't done that and now that I was doing it, my eyes watered even more. "I'm devastated, I never knew something like this could affect me so much but it did, I'm heartbroken. I wish it didn't happen."

"You wanted it?"

It was then when I realized I wasn't just telling Carol all this because I believed she needed to know and she could help Cecilia now. No. I was telling her because deep down I really was a mess and I needed to get it out of my chest, I needed to tell someone, I needed someone to listen to me and right now that person could only be Carol.

"Cecilia said it was what it should have happened. She said it wasn't meant to be and that she would have decided to abort anyway, so it was better she lost it naturally. She said that..."

"Alright, but what about you? How do you feel about it? Daryl, did you want it?"

"Before she told me she really wasn't pregnant, I actually got happy, I actually imagined ourselves with a baby. I guess I did want it."

After that I had to explain to Carol that inside Terminus Cecilia had to tell them that she was pregnant so they could at least consider not killing her, I told her it worked and they were going to let her live but kill us all and then told her when Cecilia admitted she wasn't pregnant, not really.

"I'm sorry," she finally said after a long silence. "It's so sad and I'm sorry. Daryl, it's okay to cry, it's okay."

"I feel like I shouldn't even feel sad about it."

"Why?"

"Because I only knew about it for a day and the baby wasn't even there anymore."

"Yes, but the baby existed and it was yours and you actually wanted it despite our horrible reality, you got attached and felt love for it, no matter how long you thought that baby was alive. You have the right to feel sad, to feel angry, to feel sorrow or despair, you are allowed to cry, don't bottle it up. The cruel reality is that your baby died, Daryl, that's something you won't ever get over and you can and have to allow yourself to mourn its death."

As soon as she finished talking, I broke. Tears fell down my face, her words painfully stung. Ever since Cecilia told me I took it as she just miscarried, she lost it but never even thought about considering it an actual death, about calling it _mine_ , even though I knew it was. I was too concerned about Cecilia and her feelings I hadn't even thought about me and the baby. And just hearing Carol calling it _my baby_ made it all hurt even more. My daughter or son died, that was what happened and I hadn't wanted to really see it that way, it wasn't until now that I stopped considering it just an 'it'.

Carol actually put her arm over my shoulder in a soothing way. But I didn't stop crying, I was finally mourning my child, finally accepting how tragic all this was.

Carol moved to get closer to me and hugged me for the very first time. She rubbed my back as I cried in her shoulder. Not ever had I cried like this, not even when I was a kid. Probably the only time I cried like this or close to this was when Merle died.

Suddenly, I just didn't feel sorrow and emotional pain, I felt so angry too, so pissed. I thought about my crappy parents, about my uncaring brother and my miserable life before and after the change, but mostly before it happened.

Nothing good ever happened to me and if it did, it didn't last for long, that's why at first I roundly refused to accept I was having feelings for Cecilia, that's why I didn't mention anything after we kissed back at the CDC or why I didn't try to kiss her again, she was too good for me, it wasn't going to happen, or if it did, it wasn't going to last. That's why once I admitted to myself that I liked her, I didn't tell her or ask her out, I was afraid of losing her. I thought I had lost her after the farm got overrun, that just convinced me even more that good things never last in my life.

I got this feeling not long after Cecilia told me about the miscarriage. I thought it was my fault because nothing good ever happens to me, Rick could have Carl and Judith, but I couldn't be as lucky as him. I was Daryl Dixon, I knew what that meant.

Actually, I thought I was extremely lucky to have Cecilia by my side. There were times I couldn't even believe it. I always thought I was going to live a lonely life, my only company would be Merle but that changed, I wasn't lonely anymore. I had her and that meant having everything.

"My life is just a series of tragedies," I whispered. "Nothing good ever happens... or lasts."

"Don't talk like that," she said sternly at me. "Yeah, your life was horrible but you can change it now. You have all of us, you have Cecilia."

"We are drifting apart," I said after I wiped my face.

"Don't let it happen, she's suffering, just like you, but she's trying to postpone it, trying to make herself believe it wasn't as bad so it won't be as painful, but trust me, she's breaking apart, she just doesn't know it yet, but the longer she keeps delaying it, the more it's going to hurt. I'll talk to her."

"What if she gets mad that I told you?"

"I'll tell her the truth, you couldn't keep it in any longer. You needed to tell someone because otherwise it would have killed you. You didn't tell me because of her, but because of the both of you." she said. "You already accepted what happened, you hadn't until now. She, on the other hand, is still in denial."

"Carol, thank you" I whispered as I wiped my last tear, at least for now. "I needed to speak to someone."

"I'm happy you came to me," she said. "That kind of stuff happened all the time before. I think one out of four pregnancies ended in miscarriages, so don't feel like only bad stuff happen to you, it's normal, still a tragedy though."

After that I took a very deep breath to calm myself. I still felt like crying and I wasn't sure if I was going to break down again or not.

"Let's get going," I muttered, my voice was hoarse.

Carol nodded at me. The two of us grabbed the containers full with water and started walking back to the church.

Now that I had gotten all out of my chest and I had cried I felt so much better, before I felt like if someone was chocking me, like if I couldn't breathe. Now, I was calm, still felt a lot of pain but I was better.

"I really thought you would be mad," I admitted.

"Maybe before I would have been, I would have probably lost it and tried to castrate you." I gulped. "But we are good now."

"That's a relief," I told her.

"You have done nothing but love her and protect her. I would be a fool if I thought like I used to."

"I just hope we can work this out and go past it, before so many couples broke up for this kind of situations."

"True but you won't," she assured me. "We won't let it happen."

"We?"

"Of course, I'll help you. My daughter hasn't been so happy since she met you and now she needs you as much as you need her."

Most of our way back was in silence, we only commented about stuff every once in a while, but for the most part we kept quiet.

Hello guys!

I felt super guilty for not uploading but then nobody told me to update or asked why I had been gone, so I sort of just thought, okay, if I take more time off, nobody will care.

But I'm sorry, I've been so stressed and my life has been a mess lately so I was just glad nobody really missed the story so I could concentrate on other stuff and take a break.

Anyway, here's a chapter... finally! So, what do you think will happen between Daryl and Cecilia? Will this break them? What will Carol do with the news?

Please leave me your opinions and thoughts! And hope to hear from you guys! I really missed this community!


	37. Chapter 37 - Not Too Late

"Maybe we needed to break a little, so we could put ourselves back together more beautifully than before."

\- Leah Raeder, Cam Girl

When we got back, I noticed Abraham and Rosita were still trying to fix the bus and Rick and his group were already back.

"What did you find?" Rick asked us as we all approached him.

"Pretty much nothing," I told him.

"Three silencers," Tara said as she took them out of her pocked and showed them to Rick.

"Something is something," he said, his disappointment showed. "No food or water?"

"Nope," I said.

"We found a lot of food," Rick told us. "But we are so many people, it could last only a few weeks. We still need some formula for Judith, we are running out of it."

"I volunteer to go on a run tomorrow," I said quickly. "Maybe I can find a pharmacy or even a house where I could get some."

"Maybe, we'll see what happens, let's discuss that once everyone is back."

Since I didn't have a good night sleep because of the nightmares, I was very tired. I went inside, lied down on the floor, by a corner after I got my backpack to use it as a pillow. I told Glenn and Maggie where I was going to be if they needed me.

I did sleep for around three hours and it helped me a lot, but the way I was woken up wasn't nice. Judith's cries. I groaned, I tried to cover my ears but it was no use, I was already awake. I pushed off a small blanket, I stood up and stretched. I looked to my left and saw Rick changing her diaper, while my mother was preparing her bottle.

Without them noticing me, I walked out of the church. I saw Tara, talking to Abraham and Rosita, who finally had taken a break from fixing the bus or maybe they had already fixed it. I also saw Carl, he was with Daryl. Carl was telling him some kind of story, I could tell because of Carl's gestures and the shining in his eyes, while Daryl mostly just nodded or asked something every once in a while.

"You okay?"

I jumped and turned around quickly to find Sasha. She had a frown in her face as she looked right into my eyes. I blinked some times before nodding at her.

"You look a bit pale," she told me. "And you haven't been yourself lately."

"I guess I just haven't been eating and sleeping well but I'm good," I said. "No need to worry."

"We saved you some food by the way," Sasha told me. "Glenn told us to not wake you up unless it was necessary."

"Yeah, I was very tired. I'll go eat in a bit, thank you."

She smiled at me before joining Bob once again. She sat next to him and kissed him on the lips, when they pulled away, they both had big smiles. I felt how my stomach twisted as I watched the happy couple, and then looked at Daryl, who was smiling at Carl, but he didn't look truly happy.

I looked down at the ground, feeling more alone than ever and also guilty. I knew he was being honest with me but with everything that was going on I guess I just needed some time. I wasn't really angry at him, but I needed to be angry at someone. What happened to me after the prison was just something that happened, and I was upset at the universe and 'destiny' for that but since I really needed to get my anger out on something, to focus on something that I could actually see and even touch, I guess I was just targeting Daryl for what Beth did, and taking my anger out on him for everything, even when it wasn't fair on him.

I was going straight to him when I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned around, expecting to see Sasha again but instead I saw my mother. I took a deep breath after I saw the look on her face.

"I need to talk to you," she told me.

"Okay." I shrugged. "Talk."

"In private."

She told me to follow her. She headed to the back of the church, away from everyone, and that worried me, this was serious and I didn't want to deal with her right now.

"If this is about Karen and Da..."

"No, it's not about them," she said quickly.

"I already told you I don't blame you. They would have died, anyway."

"There are lots of things you haven't told me Cecilia," she said sternly. All out of a sudden I felt like those rebel teenagers that do drugs, skip school and do all kind of vandalism when they had just been caught.

"There is nothing to talk about," I said in a monotonous tone as I crossed my arms in front oh me, my mum noticed my body language but didn't comment on it.

"Denying it or pretending it didn't happen it won't make those things just go away." I was ready to leave when her voice stopped me. "Nice ring, by the way, you didn't tell me you got engaged."

"I didn't find a good moment to tell you," I said, looking down at the ground. "But now you know. There's nothing else to talk about, or are you upset I said yes to Daryl?"

"I'm not upset, I'm actually happy!" she exclaimed, surprising me a bit. "Why are you being so evasive? I'm your mum, you should trust me and come to me when hard things happen or even when good things happen."

"You were away for months!" I shouted. "Just because you are here now it doesn't mean I can go to you and pour my heart out. We are good but don't expect me to open it up to you so easily, it's nothing I'm used to."

"You can try, speak to me."

"Too late," I exclaimed. "I needed you weeks ago, I wanted you to be there for me! I know it wasn't your or Rick's fault but that doesn't change the fact that it was hard. How do you think I felt when I got back to the prison in such a critical state, wanting you to just hold me and be there when I woke up but instead finding out you killed two people and got exiled?"

"What happened? Why did you want me to hold you?" she asked me. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing," I said quickly and turned around, already walking away before I spill something else.

"Cecilia!" she called for me but I didn't even look back at her.

I almost sprinted back to the other side of the church, where almost everybody was. When Carl saw me, he smiled at me and waved at me to go there where he was, still with Daryl. I nodded at him and walked there.

I looked down at Daryl and I had such a huge urge to hug him, kiss him or at least just grab his hand but a part of me felt like those things were foreign even when we had done those hundreds of times. I slightly moved my hand but hesitated too long and I ended up dropping it to my side again.

All I wanted was things to be okay between us again, I wanted to tell him I needed him and I wanted him by my side but at the moment I was upset at my mum, I was going to wait until I had calmed down from that.

"Judith was actually asking for you," Carl told me. "She kept saying your name."

"I'll go see her in a bit."  
"She still hasn't learnt to say my name," Carl said sadly.

"She will soon, Carl is not easy to say for a little girl like her."

Daryl looked up at me and offered me a small smile, which I returned. I looked at his eyes and that smile didn't reach them. I knew he meant that smile but he was also hurting. Not only I had given him false illusions but also had pushed him away when all he had been doing was trying to be there for me.

"How did your run go?" I asked Daryl.

"Alright, got some water, plus some vodka and whiskey." I chuckled. "What about you?"

"We found a bag of chips," I told him. "Not really good."

Even though we were having a nice and normal conversation, the atmosphere was tense and awkward, even Carl could feel it, he was also uncomfortable at the moment. I felt like crying because of what had happened to us, I never thought we would be like this.

And then, as Daryl's smile faded, I remembered what Rick told me right after I told Daryl about the miscarriage.

" _Don't let this break the two of you, stop it before it's too late."_

I sighed, knowing I had done the complete opposite. Daryl had tried, he really did, but I hadn't even made an effort.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Daryl asked as he quickly stood up and put his hands on my shoulders.

I looked up at him this time, his eyes only showed concern and even love. I looked down quickly, not wanting to break. Carl was still on his spot and he still didn't know anything and if I could keep it that way, I would. He didn't need to know what happened to me.

"I don't want us to fall apart... which, we are," I whispered. "I love you more than anything. I don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me," he said as he hugged me and pulled me close to him. "I love you and we will overcome this together, we will be alright. I know how you deal with pain, I know sometimes you just need to be alone, but I'm here for you, always."

I smiled at him, as my eyes watered. I didn't know how I even got to have him but for sure I didn't deserve this man, he was amazing.

"Always," I repeated.

I looked from his eyes to his lips, and I felt that same urge to kiss him I felt before. I wasn't sure if that would be pushing it too much, but before I could even think about it, I closed my eyes and leant forward, slowly pecking his lips.

As I was leaning back, Daryl caught my lips with his once again. I hadn't kissed Daryl or felt like this in so long and I was actually relieved it wasn't still too late, we still could work things out and fix them.

"I'm still here, you know?" I heard Carl saying, making us stop the kiss.

Daryl turned to look at him and actually glared at the boy, I chuckled, feeling a bit embarrassed Carl had been there the whole time and who knows who saw us as well, but at the moment I didn't care.

"You got us together," Daryl muttered, annoyed. "You shouldn't interrupt us when we kiss."

"I guess..." Carl mumbled.

"It's okay," I said, walking to Carl and rubbing his shoulder. "I'll go in, I'm hungry."

I walked inside the church, Gabriel was there, Rick was also there with Judith, who now was sleeping. Maggie was sat in a corner with my mother, they were talking.

Rick told me where they had left my portion of food, I thanked him and then went to grab my food. I sat on a bench and started eating. Gabriel was not far from me.

"Why do you still wear that?" I asked him as I looked down at his clothes.

"The world might have changed but I haven't," he told me with a small shrug.

I nodded at him and ate some more, then I looked all around me. It had been probably twelve or fifteen years since I had been in a church, I never truly liked it. I was just a kid, I found it boring.

"Earlier you said God abhors violence," I said as I turned to look at Gabriel again. "These last years I have done nothing but that. I've done all kind of stuff, I have killed people. Do you think my soul is already lost or will God forgive me one day?"

"He is a merciful God," he told me. "He forgive us all we do. If you really repent and regret what you have done and ask for His forgiveness, He will give it to you."

"What if He forgives me and I do it again?"

"We are humans, we have weaknesses. We can fall into the same kind of temptations, but like I said, He is merciful and he forgives."

"There's one thing, though, I have to forgive what people has done to me too, right?" I asked him. "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. That's what the prayer says, and I know there are verses in the bible that say the same thing. Do I need to forgive?"

"Yeah, it's not easy and you must ask God for His help, to find peace."

"It took me so long to forgive my mother for all kind of stuff," I said as I got closer to Gabriel, so the others inside wouldn't here me, especially my mum. "But I still haven't forgiven my dad or a boy that used to be my friend. And just today I found out who did something horrible to me, not exactly to me but sort of, it's hard to explain and I feel such rage towards that person even when I already killed her. I want to let it go but I can't."

"Then ask God to help you. If we are angry we are bitter and when we are bitter we open so many doors for all kind of evil stuff. I won't say it will be easy but if you let it take over you, you'll lose the person you are. You'll become heartless, unhappy and become even more bitter and as you said, if you don't forgive, The Lord our God will not forgive your sins."

"I think I already lost the person I used to be and to be honest, I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing."

"Do you want to talk about it? We could go inside one of those rooms if you want privacy." I shook my head.

"I think I do but no offense, I don't know you. Besides, I wouldn't know where to start," I whispered.

"Well, when you feel like you want to talk, you know where to find me and if you don't feel comfortable about talking to anyone, then talk to God. He's always listening, always. And if you don't know how to start then just say the first thing that comes to your mind."

"Thank you," I told him with a smile.

I finished the rest of my food in silence, I didn't sat anything to Gabriel and he didn't say anything else to me. Once I was done, I stood up and put the empty can I used as a bowl inside a bag the others had used to put the garbage in.

Only a couple of hours later it got dark and the rest of our group got in as well. I spent the time to talk to Gabriel, not about my problems but things related to the bible. I told him I really didn't care before everything happened but then Hershel let me borrow his bible and somehow I was hooked, I told him about Hershel too. Gabriel even gave me a bible, he had enough of those.

Abraham, who was the last one to walk inside, closed the doors and Gabriel helped him lock them, plus he put a wooden bar just for extra protection.

When Gabriel stood up to help Abraham, it finally gave me time to open the bible. I randomly opened it and my eyes landed on some verse just as Daryl came sitting next to me.

 _'The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.'_ \- Psalm 34: 18-19.

I almost broke down crying when I read that, a part of me really needed to believe there is a God and that verse was meant to me, I was brokenhearted and crushed, and I needed something, anything to lift my spirit, to give me hope.

"What are you reading?"

"Gabriel gave me a bible," I told him. "I used to read back at the prison, and Her... Hershel used to explain things I couldn't understand."

"That's nice of him."

I knew Daryl thought all of this was just a waste of time, believing in such things but he never tried to change my mind or said I was being ridiculous, he just let me be and I let him be.

"I don't want to kill more people, Daryl, it's really taken a toll on me." I said out of nowhere. "But if I don't, they will kill me."

"Not necessarily."

"If I hadn't killed that woman back at the prison, she would have killed me. If I hadn't killed Peter, he would have killed me. If I wouldn't have killed that man in that house, he would have told his group and who knows what would have happened to me. You can't always be there."

"I know," Daryl said sadly as he looked at the ground, then he glanced up at me. "Months ago you told me you gotta do what you gotta do, you didn't show any kind of regret or remorse, what has changed?"

"I have. I've realized I'm not the same person I used to be, I have no limits anymore and I'm afraid I have crossed the line and I won't be able to come back, to recover my humanity," I muttered as I looked down at the bible in my hand. "And just because I didn't show any kind of regret, it doesn't mean I don't have them. I regret them all, all the people I've killed. I see their faces almost every time I close my eyes and go to sleep. They haunt me. Do you also have regrets, Daryl?"

"I do but I don't regret them all," he said after a long pause and a deep breath. "Killing people doesn't affect me anymore, I guess I went a bit numb after the first ten or fifteen of them. I have come to grips with the fact that our reality now means kill people but that doesn't mean I like you killing, if I can do it for you I will."

"That won't be necessary. I said I didn't want to kill more people, not that I won't. I just want some normality for a while. No more tragedies."

"Me too."

Our conversation was interrupted by Carl, who sat in between the two of us and put his arms around our shoulders, for a second time today, Daryl glared at the boy, who came to finish the story he was telling to Daryl before I interrupted it.

Some time later my mother and Maggie got some more food for tonight, I was still full because I had just eaten two or three hours ago but I couldn't afford to skip a meal, not now, so I accepted my portion but didn't eat it, I was going to save it for later.

Daryl knew why I wasn't eating and didn't push me to eat or asked why I hadn't even touched my food, which I was glad. But being full would just stop me from eating even more, not from drinking, something I hadn't done in a very long while. Daryl, my mother and Rick didn't seem too happy about it but there was no harm, right?

"I'd like to propose a toast," Abraham suddenly spoke up.

I was in between Daryl and Carl, sat on the floor with our backs against one of the benches. Rick was in front of us, with Judith on his lap. My mother wasn't far from us, with Mika next to her. The ones that were up went to their places quickly, so Abraham, who now was the only one on his feet, could talk.

"I look around this room and I see survivors, each and every one of you has earned that title," he said.  
"To the survivors!" everyone exclaimed with excitement.  
"Survivors!"

"Cheers!"

I smiled and cheered with everyone just before I took a big gulp of the vodka they had found earlier. Daryl was having whiskey. This was my second glass of the liquor and Daryl wasn't too happy about that.  
"Is that all you want to be?" Abraham asked us, making us all looked at him with our eyebrows raised. "Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat? 'Cause you can do that. I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again and that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip."  
None of us said anything, I didn't want to go to Washington unless people assured me things would be better over there but I doubted it. The bigger the city used to be, the more walkers. So far, Georgia was more than enough for me.

Tara told me about Eugene and how he has the cure for all this but I seriously doubt it. The man can be extremely smart or at least has knowledge of what he talks about, but Jenner told us they didn't have a cure, they didn't even know what had caused all of this, what suddenly changed? He wouldn't have ended his life and destroyed the CDC if there was a minimal chance of a cure.  
"Eugene, what's in DC?" Abraham asked him.

"Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge," he said. "Restart."  
"However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there, safer than you've been since this whole thing started. Come with us, save the world for that little one," Abraham said as he looked at Judith, who was lying on top of her father's chest. "Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there who don't got nothing left to do except survive."

The place was immersed in a deep silence, I turned to look at Daryl and he did the same. I didn't know what he was thinking about but I wish he wouldn't want to go. The silence was interrupted by Judith babbling. Rick chuckled and looked at the little girl.  
"What was that?" Rick asked her, and then he laughed as Judith kept babbling. "I think she knows what I'm about to say. She's in. If she's in, I'm in. We're in."

Everyone laughed except me, Rick had made his mind and I was surprised at how easily he agreed to go, I was hoping he would at least prolong it.

"Don't you think that's too much?" Daryl asked as he attempted to take the glass from me after I drank even more.

"I can handle it," I told him. "I need this, Daryl."

"That's why I'm worried. You want to forget the pain for at least a night and tomorrow what? The pain will be back and it might be even worse."

"Maybe all I need is a little break," I muttered.

Daryl said nothing else, but it was obvious he wasn't happy. He finished his food in silence. Daryl and I then stood up and moved to one corner of the church, away from everyone. Carl had gone with Rick only minutes ago. I had brought my food and glass with vodka with me.

"What do you think?" I asked him. "About Washington?"

"I honestly don't know."

"I don't want to go," I admitted. "Maybe we can talk to Rick about it."

"Maybe a change will do us good."

"A change? Nothing will change, except the place. It doesn't mean there will be no walkers there or people that want to kill us, if anything, it will only be worse than here."

I heard Daryl sighing, he was conflicted. He trusted Rick and his decisions but my opinion mattered to him and he didn't know what would be best for us.

"We should give it a shot and if we run into some kind of big problem very quickly, we'll take that as a sign we shouldn't go and I'll tell Rick we shouldn't continue."

"I'll speak to him tomorrow and tell him I really don't think Eugene has the cure. Abraham hasn't fixed the bus so we won't leave tomorrow."  
"Speaking of that," Daryl said quickly, he bit his lip out of nervousness and looked from me to the ground. "I think we should do something before leaving."

"What would that be?" I asked him as I looked right into his eyes, he didn't hold the eye-contact for long, though. I was very intrigued at what he had to say.

"I know it's stupid and a bit senseless but we could get married here," he said, almost making me choke on my drink. "We are in a church, Gabriel is a father, I bet he married someone before, it would make everything a bit more normal, do things like they used to be done. So what do you say? Will you marry me, maybe tomorrow?"

I stared at him in complete shock and disbelief. I really wasn't expecting that at all. I closed my mouth and bit my lower bit as I looked away from him. I loved him and I really wanted to marry him.

"No," I said firmly as I looked up at him again, only to see how his nervous smile completely disappeared from his lips and I saw hurt in his eyes. "I will marry you someday, just not tomorrow. I love you, okay? My feelings for you haven't changed, if anything, I love you even more every day that passes."  
"Then why won't you marry me?"

"If you had asked me before the prison incident, I would have married you right on the spot. We don't need a church or a father to get us married, but you are right, it would feel more normal to do it that way and it would be nice. But... we are not ready anymore. We both are hurt and deeply. The prison, Beth, the miscarriage, Terminus... emotionally, I'm a mess and I don't want to feel sadness and despair when I marry you, I want to feel happiness and joy, so I can remember it everyday and feel that same joy. I'm hurting and I know you are too. We have barely talked to each other these last few days, we need to heal before taking that step, Daryl."

It was killing me to say no to Daryl, but if we did it in our emotional state, I'm afraid we would just fail and end up getting even more distant with time. We needed to get back to what we were before getting married, we had to heal those wounds.

If something destroys a house, a hurricane, a fire, a storm or an earthquake, the people that lived in that house won't go back to live there, it could plump down and fall on them, killing them all. No, they have to fix the house, sometimes even re-building entire sections of the house, or the whole house, before moving back in and that's what Daryl and I needed to do before 'moving in.'

"I love you, that's not even up for discussion," I muttered as I took his hands in both of mine and kiss the top of it, earning a very small smile from him. "We will get married, I promise. We will both feel it when the right time has come."

I leant in and pecked his cheek. I offered him a small smile and he nodded at me, attempting to smile again too. He sighed then and pecked my forehead.

"You are right," he whispered. "If we do get married now it will be like doing a business, something we would do just to get it over with. After all we went through I just thought we should but you are right."

"Everything has been so recent, we need some time. Remember when you got mat at me because I kissed you and you wanted it to be special and I ruined it?" He nodded it. "Well, let's wait and make this special, not like what you said, just a business."

Daryl and I sat down on the floor and rested our backs against the wall, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders while I rested my head on his shoulder. We hadn't been this close since before Terminus and this would be the first night we would spend next to each other, hopefully for the whole night.

"We'll make it through," Daryl whispered to me. "We won't be defeated by all of these... adversities."

"I know."

"How?"

"Because we are together again," I told him with a smile. Daryl smiled back at me and slowly leant in until his lips pressed against mine.

The kiss wasn't like the last we shared, full of all emotions, this one was a kind of confirmation that we would be okay, now that we were together again.

Okay guys, hope you liked the chapter and let me hear your opinion on what just happened at the end of the chapter.

And good news, after months of not wanting to write or not having the time, I'm getting the inspiration again and if I had had time yesterday I would have. Maybe I can today, which I hope. I have some more chapters written so even when I can't write I have more to post :P

And good news! I'll go on a trip at the end of the month! I will be gone for 2 weeks, maybe even a bit more. We'll see.

Well, hope you liked it and please comment :D


	38. Chapter 38 - Unexpected

A/N: This is based on one of the last chapters already published. Originally it was written on Carl's POV and only a few parts on Cecilia's. This chapter is only on Cecilia's POV so all of you can have a better idea of what was going on with Cecilia after the prison attack.

"Life is fragile.

Be cautious in life."

\- Lailah Gifty Akita

Several weeks ago -

Rick, Carl and I had just spent the night on the woods after the Governor attacked us and we were lucky to find a decent house free of walkers to stay for a few days.

After I talked to Carl about his horrible behaviour towards his father I went to the master bathroom. I looked at my reflection. My hair was all over the place, my clothes were dirty and I had holes on my trousers around my knees. The woman had busted my lip and I had dried blood around there and my jaw, which was bruised too.

I removed my shirt and took a look at the damage. My whole stomach was bruised like I had seen earlier but now that I was looking at it on the mirror the bruise seemed even bigger and more purple. I also had small bruises on my shoulders, upper back and arms. My knuckles were bloody as well, all of me was a complete mess but we had more important things to worry about, so I just put my hair in a high somewhat messy bun and washed my face with water and some soap I managed to find, cleaning my wounds and the dry blood.

Then I remembered something. I pulled my jeans and underwear down and sat on the toilet. I looked down at my underwear and saw a bit more blood than what I saw last night on the woods.

It was only a couple of drops last night, so there was nothing to worry about, my period was starting, at the most inconvenient time but nothing to worry about, except for the cramps and pain in my stomach, right?

The blood still wasn't much, it didn't even go through to my jeans which was good. I finished quickly and looked inside the drawers, trying to find pads or tampons, whatever that could be helpful now. And all I found was an opened box of tampons. I sighed. I needed to look for more and it seemed that the mother was the only woman that lived here.

I quickly went downstairs, I needed to look for more stuff and soon. We only had a few hours of daylight left and even when I could leave it for tomorrow, I didn't know what tomorrow could bring, it would be better to be prepared.

"I'm going out," I said to Rick when I saw him. "I'll go look for food and water."

I left the house before Rick could argue with me, I knew that if I told him the truth he would just feel awkward and would let me go anyway, knowing I needed those stuff. I left my crossbow back at the house but I took my gun with me and I got a knife from the first house I looked, but that's all I got from that house.

It took me three hours to look in fifteen or so houses, I had found some useful stuff but barely any food. I didn't really look for food in the last few houses to be honest. Some things, like my period and reoccurring cramps were the only thing on my mind at the moment.

On the eight or ninth house I searched, I came across a nursery. It deeply saddened me because of Judith, it made it all worse the room was painted pink. I rushed to the master bedroom and did find some pads and tampons there. I was walking out of the master bedroom when a thought hit me, right when I glanced back at the now closed nursery.

I had been worried about the possibility of being pregnant for the last two or three weeks, I didn't have any symptoms, no morning sickness, no cravings, no tenderness, no nothing, but I hadn't had my period in a while, that wasn't uncommon, though. Sometimes I go two or three months without getting my period, probably due to my low weight and low body fat percentage, because of the exercise plus all the starving periods we have gone through.

I hadn't even thought about the possibility about being pregnant until I kept having this recurring dream about me being it and sometimes of me holding a baby in my arms and it wasn't like it couldn't be possible. There had been a few times Daryl and I hadn't used a condom.

So, if that was the case, that meant this wasn't a period and the cramps I kept getting every couple of hours or sometimes more often, were not just normal cramps. I never thought they were normal since I never have cramps with my period but I thought that maybe I got them because of the stress and all that.

When I reunited with Carl and Rick, I said next to nothing. All this situation kept going in circles in my mind, how could I tell the difference between a normal period and a miscarriage? I had no idea and if it wasn't just a period then there was nothing for me to prevent it from happening.

By now it was already dark, we had covered and closed all windows and doors, and put a big sofa against the front door. I was sat on it while Carl and Rick were arguing again, Carl didn't want to eat and Rick kept telling him to just do it.

"I was just going to tell you that I was going to sleep upstairs," I said, standing up. Rick had left the room in a very angry mood. "Maybe in the room we talked earlier."

"Why aren't you staying here with us?"

"Honestly? I don't want to sleep on the floor," I lied.

"You could sleep with me," Carl told me shyly.

"Do you want me to sleep with you?" I asked as I raised my eyebrows at him.

"My dad and I will sleep here and like you said, there's nowhere else you could sleep besides the floor," Carl said as he played with his fingers. "You shouldn't be on your own."

"Alright," I said with a chuckle. "I'll just go upstairs and bring a blanket."

I ruffled Carl's hair as I passed past him, he finally put his hat down, he hadn't stopped wearing it since the Governor attacked us.

I rushed upstairs and went inside the master bedroom and grabbed two blankets from there plus a big, soft pillow. I was going back down when I got another sharp pain in my stomach. I had to stop in my tracks, hold my stomach like I could, I was still carrying the blankets and the pillow, and closed my eyes tightly as I waited for it to pass. I silently counted and this time the pain lasted around the double, which I really didn't like. It was getting worse instead of improving.

Once the pain was gone, I pushed it to the back of my mind and continued my way downstairs. Carl had already put the sheets by then, I threw the pillow at him and set one blanket on the couch so Rick could use it once he was back. Carl helped me put the blanket and together we got under it, resting our heads on the nice pillow.

One of the reasons why I didn't want to sleep with them besides that I needed some space and time alone to think, was because I didn't want any 'period' accidents to happen in my sleep, especially when Carl was right next to me, maybe I could sneak out and go upstairs once he was asleep.

"I'm glad you're alive," Carl told me, looking right into my light blue eyes. "I'm glad that from all the possibilities, you ended up with us... with me."

"Carl," I said with a big smile. "You have no idea how happy I am that I found you in that chaos and that I'm here with you."

"Even when you're not with Daryl?"

"I promised you I'd never leave you again, didn't I?" I exclaimed. "Besides, you need me now."

"Yeah," he admitted. "Thanks!"

"For what?"

"For keeping your promise," he told me with a big smile.

"You don't have to thank me for that," I told him before I kissed the top of his head. "Now let's sleep, alright?"

"Good-night, Cici."

"Good-night, Carl," I told him. I think I did fall asleep before him.

I woke up a bit before dawn, I was too comfortable I didn't want to move but I was glad I woke up earlier than anticipated because if not, there would have been an accident.

Unfortunately, the bleeding had intensified and to me, that didn't look normal, it was heavier than my normal periods or maybe it was just me being paranoid.

After spending about two hours upstairs just worrying, I went back down to the kitchen. I sat on a stool and attempted to eat but when I tried, I just felt like throwing up. I rested my elbows on the table and supported my head with my hands, I was hit by another cramp. I closed my eyes tightly and waited for it to pass, then I looked up and stared out the window and not long after that I heard steps getting closer to me. I turned around quickly to see Carl, I flashed him a small smile, he took a while but he smiled back at me eventually, he looked concerned about me.

He grabbed three bowls and spoons, and set them on the table before he sat down in front of me. He served some cereal in the three bowls and then pushed one in my direction. I only shook my head at the boy.

"What?" he asked confused.

"I'm not hungry," I muttered.

"That's not possible," he told me, pushing the bowl even closer to me. "We haven't eaten in days, have some."

"I'll eat later," I told him with a heavy sigh. "Save it for me."

"Cici, you..."

"I'm not feeling well," I finally admitted. "I'll see if the shower works, maybe that will help me."

"Alright," he said in defeat.

I pushed the stool back and stood up, but when I did I felt dizzy and some more pain. I put a hand over my stomach and almost ran out of the room and up the stairs, I didn't want to worry Carl even more.

Once inside the bathroom, I took my time to get undressed and turned the faucet of the water. A part of me wanted a relaxing bath even when I knew the water would be cold and another part of me just wanted it because I didn't want to face Rick or Carl right now.

When I took off my jeans I saw a blood stain, which really freaked me out. I changed my pad not long ago, so that shouldn't had happened. I grabbed my underwear and jeans and made them into a ball, and put them in the garbage can, I should remember to take them out of the house so no one sees them.

When the tub was one fourth full with water, I got in and slowly sat down. It was cold but it was nice as well. I waited for it to get full and then I turned the faucet again and lied down and closed my eyes, I needed to relax, I needed some time to myself.

Minutes later I had this very, very sharp cramp on my stomach that actually made me cry out and sit up. Usually, they are strong but I can pretend I don't have them but this one had been the strongest so far. I started to cry then, I was scared and I wasn't sure what exactly was happening.

I had only been here for less than thirty or forty minutes and when I opened my eyes, all I saw was red water, like if this was a crime scene. Everything was so full of blood, it made me sick and a bit faint. I cried harder at the sight.

I hugged my knees and cried, right now I really wished my mum was here or even Hershel or Bob, who were doctors. If this was a miscarriage, how could I know this was normal and I wasn't slowly bleeding out? I felt so sick of being in the water that now was so red but I couldn't just get rid of that water and fill the tub again, we didn't have that luxury anymore.

So I lied down again, still crying my heart out. I didn't even try to be quiet because I could hear Carl yelling to Rick downstairs so they probably couldn't hear me. And the worst part was that I was terrified but that wasn't the only reason why I was crying, but I didn't know exactly those reasons.

"Please make it stop," I whispered as another cramp hit me. I held my stomach as I curled into a ball.

I wasn't sure how much I cried, but when they finally ceased, I could no longer hear anything from downstairs and I was so exhausted. I was so tired I wanted to fall asleep right there and then.

I came back to reality when I heard the knob being turned, but I had locked the door so no one did get in. I think I did fall asleep, at least for a few minutes, I sat up quickly as I heard knocks on the door.

"Cici?" I heard Carl's voice softly muttering from the other side of the door.

"Yeah?" I choke out, my voice was very raspy from all the crying.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"There were walkers outside, I killed them."

I took a very deep breath, I was supposed to protect Carl and I didn't even hear those walkers. And the least I wanted was Carl having to protect me and worry about me.

"Are you sure you are okay? I could help if something's up."

"I'm good... I'm just..." I cleared my throat before speaking again after I noticed my voice was breaking. "... sad, I guess. I miss them."

"I miss them too. Hey, I'm going out to bring more supplies, want to come?"

I was going to reply when I got another sharp pain on my lower stomach, I bit my lip so no sound would come out of my mouth and waited for it to go away. I knew I couldn't go out like this, I needed to rest at least a few more hours, wanted it or not.

"Not now, can you wait a bit?"

"Uh, I, uh... sure. What are you even doing in there?"

"I'm taking a bath."

"You serious?"

"I won't take much longer," I told Carl. "I just needed... I don't know, just some time alone."

"Okay," he mumbled. "If you need me, just call."

As soon as I heard Carl walking away, I burst into tears once again. I wanted to tell him what was wrong with me, but he was just a kid, what would he be able to do? Besides, he just lost his little sister, he didn't need more things to worry about.

I spent several more minutes in the tub, maybe even another hour until I decided it was enough. I just ran some more water on my body and the tub so all trails of blood would go down the drain. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my body. I walked to the closet and tried on some clothes from the mother but her clothes were too big for me, I only kept her underwear on and went to the boy's room and put on a pair of jeans, they were a bit short but around the waist, they were better than the mother's.

I went downstairs after I got dressed and called for Carl, I didn't get an answer. I walked into the living room and saw Rick in the very same position he was when I woke up. I got closer to him and made sure he was breathing before I looked for Carl, I didn't find him anywhere.

Knowing he actually left without me, I went outside. I looked for him on the streets in around fifteen houses when I realized this was in vain. I was scared for him but I knew I would never find him, so I went back to the house and waited for him.

I grabbed another blanket and put it on top of Rick's body, I talked to him for a bit but he didn't wake up or anything. After a while, I remembered I needed to get rid of my bloody clothes, so I went upstairs, grabbed them, put them inside a plastic bag and took them outside, then left them somewhere Carl or Rick wouldn't find them and then I went upstairs and lied down on the bed.

And it was then when it finally hit me. I knew deep inside of me that this was in fact a miscarriage. I just knew. It wasn't until now that I felt different, it's hard to explain but I just felt different, kind of like empty and like something had changed in me, I couldn't even explain it.

I got into a fetal position, not wanting to move. I think that even if there were walkers that wanted to eat me, I wouldn't have moved. I just wanted a break from all of this. I hugged myself as I just asked for all of this to just stop.

I didn't even realize when Carl walked in until he lied down on his side in front of me, I glanced at him quickly and he just offered me a small smile. I think about another hour had passed since I stopped crying because I had no more tears and I was too exhausted to just keep crying. Carl scooted closer to me and wrapped an arm around my midsection, when he did that I felt like breaking down again, so I took a deep breath to control myself and instead of focusing of my problems I told Carl I knew he had left on his own.

"Your dad hasn't woken up all day?" I asked him.

"No." I was worried about that, I knew he took a really bad beating. "He'll wake up. He has too."

"Let's hope so," I whispered.

"Anyway, how are you? Do you feel any better?"

" A bit," I said, forcing a smile on my lips. "I'm sorry for being so absent today."

"You needed it, I understand."

Carl and I stayed on the bed for almost two hours, until it got dark, then I fell asleep, mostly out of exhaustion from all the crying and worrying so much, and well, the pain also took a toll on me.

When I woke up I noticed I had a blanket over me, Carl had put it over me and he was nowhere to be seen now. I walked down the stair and saw Rick on the kitchen. I waved at him just before I sat on a stool. Last night I woke up around midnight, both of them were on the floor so I dragged Carl to the cushions he used to sleep the night before and tried to get Rick on the sofa but couldn't, so just dragged him to a carpet, almost next to Carl.

"You okay?" Rick asked me.

I was going to lie, even joke that I was way better than him but instead I broke down. I tried hard to stop but the tears kept coming down. Rick rushed to my side, he grabbed the other stool, put it in front of me and sat as he embraced me.

"It's okay, things are going to be okay. I know it's hard, with the prison and all but we might find the rest and..."

"It's not that," I mumbled as I pulled away from his embrace and looked directly at his eyes.

"Then what is it?"

I bit my lip not knowing how to tell Rick but I knew I had to, somehow. Rick was the only adult here and I needed to tell someone. Maybe he couldn't do anything but he could give me moral support and assure me that I was not going to die from blood loss.

"Carl isn't awake, is he?" I asked and Rick shook his head. "Rick, now I know why I'm having those stomach cramps... I, uh, I'm having a miscarriage."

"What?" Rick almost shouted, more tears fell down my face, I hadn't said it out loud and now it seemed more real and more painful. "You... you are pregnant?"

"I didn't even know!" I exclaimed as I wiped away my tears. "But this isn't normal, Rick."

Rick seemed really freaked out by my confession, he stood up and paced the room as he ran his hands through his already messy hair. I looked down at the floor as I cried.

"I'm scared," I admitted in a very low voice, but Rick heard me.

"Don't worry, we'll work this out. You are gonna be fine, I promise," he assured me as he sat down in front of me again and grabbed my hands. "Everything will be fine."  
Rick then continued with telling me that his sister had had a miscarriage, he told me we needed to get some pregnancy tests and some pills for the pain. He told me that I could do one test now and check if it came out positive and then do another one in two weeks or so, and if it comes back negative, then I had nothing to worry about, means my body got rid of everything.

He also told me all I could do was wait for it to be over, all of this could last up to two weeks. He also assured me we wouldn't leave this house until everything was over and that he wouldn't say a word to Carl unless I wanted him to know.

Rick kept saying cheerful words and assuring me everything was going to be okay, even told me how sorry he was about 'my loss' when he just looked up behind me and stopped talking immediately.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Rick said to Carl. "Cecilia was just talking to me, go back to the other room, we'll be back there."

"How will we get those stuff without Carl suspecting something?" I asked once he was out of the room.

"I could go on my own and you stay here with him."

"No, absolutely not. You were unconscious for a whole day, that's out of the question."

Rick and I kept discussing things and didn't really come up with a plan, but he assured me we would find a way. Then we both got up and joined Carl.

"Are you okay?" Rick asked me. We were inside a pharmacy, waiting for the pregnancy test time, Carl and Michonne were trying to find some more food on a store nearby. "I can look for you if you want."

I nodded at Rick, I didn't even know why I was so nervous, if the test was positive then it meant I did have a miscarriage not that I was pregnant anymore, the hormones are still a mess for a while after a miscarriage so that's why the tests won't be negative until around two weeks later.

"It's positive."

"I already knew it would be positive," I muttered.

A normal period for me lasts only three days without pain or minimal pain, this had lasted about a week with excruciating pain and it didn't seem like it was going to be over today or tomorrow.

I hadn't cried since that day, since I told Rick about it. I had been telling myself that I wasn't going to die and that it was okay because months ago I thought that if I ever do get pregnant, I would have an abortion, I couldn't have a baby in this world, plus I never wanted to have a baby, never, ever since I was around twelve I made up my mind about that. It's better to lose a baby naturally than killing it, I suppose. Or that's what I told myself.

Ever since I stopped crying, since I started saying that everything was okay, Rick had become even more concerned about me.

"I'm sorry," Rick said, rubbing my back.

"I'm fine, I just wanted to make sure," I said emotionless.

"Cecilia, I think you..."

"I'm fine," I repeated quickly. "I'll just take the pain killers and then let's meet Michonne and Carl."

Rick didn't say anything else but he looked at me with concern and even pity, I shrugged all that off and took the pills quickly and put the rest in my bag for the next few days.

Thankfully, the cramps weren't as often or painful anymore, they were bearable and once they were gone for good plus the bleeding, I could leave all of this behind for good and move on with my life.

Okay guys, I guess this chapter wasn't what you guys hoped for but I hoped it helped with the storyline, knowing what was happening with Cecilia because some 'chapters ago' I only showed what Carl lived or what he saw, he knew there was something going on with Cecilia but didn't know what or how bad it was.

Next chapter will be better, I promise. By the way, I travel on Thursday so I'll probably update once I'm back. I've been so busy, getting some things done and I still need to buy some things for the trip.

But, I hope you liked this one :D


	39. Chapter 39 - Confrontations

"You learned to run from what you feel, and that's why you have nightmares.

To deny is to invite madness. To accept is to control."

– Megan Chance, The Spiritualist

Present time

It was nice to wake up in Daryl's arms once again, I smiled when I realized I used him as a pillow the night before and he had an arm around my waist. I curled even closer to him.

I was about to fall asleep again when I felt Daryl slightly moving, I looked up at him just when he opened his breath-taking sky blue eyes. He smiled at me.

"Hi, love," he mumbled in a very raspy, sleepy voice.

"Love?" I commented, he had never called me that.

He said nothing to me, instead he kissed the top of my head as I wrapped my arm even tighter around him. Daryl closed his eyes again, not being ready to wake up yet.

Nobody really bothered us for a while, everyone was already awake, going in and out of the church and talking to each other, making a lot of noise, making it impossible for Daryl and I to go back to sleep. I sighed and stood up, even when Daryl tried to hold me closer to him.

"We need to wake up," I said to him just before I pecked his lips. "Everyone is already up."

I stood up and offered both my hands to Daryl, he took them and I helped him up. Once he was up he kissed my forehead and then he stretched. I had fallen asleep before eating so this morning I was starving. Daryl and I were the only ones that hadn't eaten.

Abraham still wasn't done fixing the bus so we were stuck in this church until he could fix it, and then go to Washington, so the most time it takes to fix that bus the better for me, I didn't want to go there.

Since we had time to waste, the others wanted to go on runs and see if we could find something else, and Rick and I had talked the day before about getting some formula for Judith, Rick really needed some quickly.

As a matter of fact, Glenn, Sasha Bob and Tara had already left, somewhere more east than we did yesterday, hopefully today it would be better.

Tyreese was going to stay today as well with Carl, Mika and Judith. That left Daryl, my mum, Maggie, Rick and I for another run. After Daryl and I finished our breakfast, Rick informed us Maggie was going to stay too but to watch Gabriel, whom Rick didn't trust yet, and he decided it was best to split up to cover more ground. I actually believed he was going to say he was going to go with my mum but he said Daryl and him were going while I was stuck with my mother. I just gave him a look, after yesterday I didn't want to be alone with my mum, I didn't want to talk about things.

I did tell Rick I could go with him or Daryl but he didn't change his mind. He went to say good-bye to Carl and Judith and left with Daryl.

Yesterday we focused on the stores, today my mum and I were going to look inside houses. As we got to our destination with the help of a map drew by Gabriel, we wasted no time going inside the first house, where we found some crackers and cereal.

The atmosphere was tense between my mother and I, and all I wanted was to get this done quickly so I could get away from her, I knew she wanted to talk, but she was being a hypocrite. She wanted to discuss things that had happened to me, my issues, not what had happened to her, she refused to talk about that, she hadn't said what happened to Lizzie, or Axel or anything.

We searched six more houses in complete silence, and we had found some food, just some formula and two bags of diapers and I changed my shirt for a clean one and got some hair ties, I had had it down for weeks and it was annoying, so I wasted no time to put my hair in a high ponytail.

"Cecilia," I heard my mum finally saying about two hours and a half after we left the church. I closed my eyes tightly and pretended I didn't hear her, instead I kept looking inside the drawers of this kitchen, she repeated my name but I just ignored her. "You can't evade this forever, we need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," I whispered, still with my back to her. I heard her sigh.

"Darling," she said in a very sweet tone, which didn't mean anything good. "You need to tell me things, you know it's harmful for you if you keep it all inside your chest. I'm just trying to help."

"There's nothing you can do, mum."

"Look, this is not just about you. It hurts Daryl too," she said and I felt like if my heart was being held very tightly. "This is not just about you."

"What?"

"He came to me, Cecilia. He could have gone to Rick or keep it to himself but he came to talk to me, that shows how much he's hurting."

"What did he tell you?" I asked as I finally turned around to face her.

"Everything. He didn't want to say anything because he knew you would get upset but he needed to get it out, he broke down, Cecilia! He needs you!"

I stayed in complete silence as I looked down at the ground, I didn't know what to say. I had never seen Daryl breaking down except when Merle died.

"Don't you get it? You are engaged to him, this doesn't just concern you. If you are hurting, he is too just because he loves you. And from now on, you have to realize you are sharing your life with someone else, it's not just about you anymore, this is about him too and he's hurting. You need to accept it happened, why won't you tell me what happened during these months while I was gone?"

"For the same reason you won't talk about Axel or Lizzie or even about Karen and David," I exclaimed, raising my voice and she just sighed. "You want to leave it in the past, pretend it never happened, I want the same too, so stop trying to bring it up!"

"Yesterday you said you got to the prison in a critical state, said you wanted to talk to me, you said it with such rage it means it is still hurting you, that's why you can't leave it behind you yet." I didn't say anything, just turned around again so I wasn't facing her anymore. "I know about Sean, I know he kidnapped you, I know you heard me when I found Sean in that house and I walked in."

"I don't blame you," I said quickly. "I didn't want to tell you about that because you would be blaming yourself for being there and not saving me. I have gotten over that, I did, I don't care about it anymore, that happened months ago. I left that in the past."

"You're right, I do blame myself and I'm sorry for not finding you, for not being there when the group rescued you, I'm sorry."

A single tear fell out of my eye, I wiped it quickly and I was glad I wasn't facing my mum now. Truth is that sometimes I do get nightmares about Sean and everything that happened but I had moved past that a long time ago, I learnt to live with what happened and moved on. It damaged me, I can't deny that but I healed and somehow that experience made me stronger.

"Let's keep going," I said. "We still need to look inside more houses."

"What about the baby?"

"Don't!" I exclaimed quickly as I turned around and glared at her when my eyes landed on my mum's. For the first time, our eyes didn't really look the same. Mine looked one or two shades darker and looked close to a stormy grey instead of the usual light icy blue, like my mother's looked right now. They looked caring and soft while mine only showed anger and pain.

"Don't what?" my mum asked as she stepped closer to me, she seemed like she was challenging me.

"Don't call it a baby," I said with my voice firm, I wasn't going to break in front of her. Not now."And don't ever bring that up again."

"What was it then if it wasn't a baby?" she asked confused.

"It was a fetus," I mumbled as I looked away.

The angry and yet confused expression on my mother vanished instantly and instead she looked at me with sympathy. I tried to walk away but she grabbed me by my shoulders.

"Darling, calling it differently so it may hurt less won't change what happened, it will just decrease the pain for now but eventually all that will catch up with you, Daryl and I are just here to help you, to support you. I know what you are going through, Cec..."

"No, you don't."

"I actually do. Why do you think Sophia was so much younger than you?" I shrugged and she sighed. "Before Sophia, I got pregnant and I miscarried. I lost it and I was devastated. You were around two when it happened and I told myself I wasn't going to go through that kind of pain again but I had Sophia and I don't regret it but I was scared I was going to lose her too."

"Why did you never tell me about that?"

"There are things one has to keep as a secret," she whispered. "So I do know what you are going through."

"No," I said quickly. "That happened to you when the world was still normal, there were doctors and there was Uncle Anthony and your parents, I didn't know if what was happening to me was normal or not, I thought I was going to die. I was scared and felt so alone and I didn't even know if Daryl was alive or not."

"I know, I know, sweetie," she said as she attempted to hug me but I pushed her away.

"I didn't want it!" I exclaimed exasperated. "Things happened as they should have, now we must continue to search for things."

I walked away as I just heard her sigh. Truth was that I never wanted kids but there was a very short moment when the miscarriage really did hurt me emotionally. I realized that was the last part of Daryl I could ever have, that maybe if I couldn't have Daryl himself, I could have someone that was half him, I wanted to hold on to that part of him but it was already gone. That moment was just after that second pregnancy test came back positive when it should had been negative and I felt like I had lost Daryl again.

I thought all kind of stupid things, one was that maybe I was pregnant with twins and just lost one of those babies and that's why the tests kept being positive but of course, that wasn't the case. The last piece of Daryl that I had back then was just gone forever.

Daryl's POV

I wasn't sure why Rick separated Cecilia and me but at least that gave me time to speak to him, which I had wanted to do for quite a while but hadn't had the chance and privacy to do it.

"Uh, Rick," I muttered as we walked out of a house we had just searched. "I just wanted to thank you."

"For what?" he asked confused.

"For all you did for Cecilia when I was gone, she mentioned she told you what was going on, thank you for being there for her." He sighed.

"I wish I could have done something more. I'm sorry about what happened by the way," Rick told me as he put an arm over my shoulder, I sighed and looked down at the ground. It felt so weird to be in this position. "How are things going between the two of you?"

"They are slowly getting back into place, she's not as angry with the world anymore but she's still crushed even when she doesn't know it yet. Something made her get back into her senses yesterday, she hadn't stopped pushing me away until yesterday afternoon and I'm glad she has let me in again but I know there's still something there. Something that hurts her and might make her get into her shell again."

"I told her to not let this break the two of you, to not make the same mistakes I did with Lori, I'm glad she listened to me. Look, she won't admit it but I'm sure she wanted that baby, you need to talk to her."

"I think she did but she keeps denying it," I told him. "I don't know how to talk to her, every time I try she gets evasive and I don't want her to start pushing me away again. As soon as I try to talk she just... shuts herself and puts on her impenetrable armour."

"She's confused, she doesn't want to feel what she is feeling, she pushes those feelings away so she pushes you away. You know her best, you know what you should tell her and do it as soon as we go back, the sooner the better."

I nodded at Rick as we walked into another house, we continued talking, he kept giving me advices as I listened. Then he told me things that happened after the prison, including when Michonne found them and how they spent the days after they left that house where they killed those two men.

Rick and I didn't find much, some food, one sleeping bag and got some fresh fruit from some of the gardens but unfortunately nothing for Judith.

As we walked back to the church, I hesitated at first but I eventually told Rick about my talk with Beth, when she told me she thought Maggie and Cecilia would have babies and that when she said it I unconsciously kind of created a nice scene in my mind. I told him how happy that nonexistent scene made me feel, told him everything I could remember from it and Rick just smiled and said that would have been nice.

"I had a dream yesterday. It has been the only good dream I have had for a while. It was pretty much like that thing I just told you. Except we weren't at the prison but at a normal house, in a normal world. Carol was there, Cecilia was there, even Sophia and Merle were there. I remember I was going home after hunting with Merle and when I opened the door of my house, which was pretty nice and big, I was immediately greeted by a little girl, she was around four or five. I picked her up as she gave me a hug before Merle took her from me, demanding a hug as well. I walked to the living room where I saw a toddler, he was around two, maybe a few months younger. He was blonde too but he had Cecilia's eyes, the girl had my eyes. Sophia was in there playing with him."

"That sounds like a really good dream," Rick told me with a small smile.

"Yeah, especially because there were no walkers. Anyway, I went to the kitchen then and Carol was there, preparing lunch. I even stole a cookie before going back to the living room, then Cecilia came down and she went straight to kiss me. She looked beautiful, a few years older though and had shorter hair. The girl grabbed my hand and pulled it, demanding me to play with her, I was going to when someone rang the bell. I picked her up as I went to open the door, guess who it was?"

"No idea, who?"

"It was you," I said and Rick smiled. "With Carl, Judith, who was around six, and... and Michonne," I said with a smirk. "Turns out you married her in my dream."

"Really?" he asked with a big chuckle. "That's crazy."

"Carl was around twenty, that's crazier. Sophia was older too." I sighed then. "It was a very nice dream, a happy one."

"Maybe one day it will come true," Rick said as we just made it back to the church, everyone was already back, including Carol and Cecilia. "Don't lose hope."

Rick being eager to see Judith and Carl, kept walking, leaving me behind as I stayed by the entrance of the church. Carol look troubled while Cecilia was talking to Tara, before I could make my way to her, Carol walked towards me, stopping me.

"How did it go?" I asked Carol, knowing the answer already. She just shook her head at me. "You talked to her?"

"I tried, she just shuts herself in this kind of shell. And it's worse than I imagined."

"What do you mean?" I asked as I crossed my arms in front of my chest, already not liking where this was going.

"I brought up the baby thing and she snapped when I said that word, she told me to not call it a baby but a fetus." I sighed. "And she just pushed me away after that. It was impossible for me to even try to get to her after that outburst."

"I'll talk to her," I told her.

Carol nodded at me and thanked me, she was worried about Cecilia and trying to help her but this was between us, I had to fix this, I had to make Cecilia see that it is okay to care, to get attached and unfortunately to feel pain and be and get hurt too. That's life.

I decided not to talk to Cecilia right away, she was with Tara and she was laughing, it had been a long time since I had heard her laugh so I decided to wait.

As I walked to the front of the church, I overhead Abraham saying the bus was almost ready, Rosita smiled at that but Eugene didn't look happy about it. I wondered why but I didn't give it much thought, I had more important things to focus on.

I went to sit with Rick to eat some food since we missed lunch, he had Judith in his arms and I couldn't deny it hurt me to see her, especially when she was in Cecilia's arms.

I didn't resent Rick or anything like that, it just hurt, knowing I could have that but it didn't happen. I never imagined I would be in so much pain for this kind of situation, I never wanted kids and now I wish more than anything that Cecilia hadn't lost ours. I wanted things to not be like this, I wanted her to be happy again, I wanted us to be happy and things to be like they were before the prison attack.

Rick was starting to talk about it, so I cunningly changed the topic to Abraham's plan and told him Cecilia wasn't comfortable with the idea, said she didn't believe Eugene knew the cure and to be honest I didn't believe that either. And even if he did, what were the chances of him being successful? He could be smart but he was an idiot and a coward.

Rick told me he wasn't completely sure about it but Bob convinced him yesterday, he said that maybe we needed a change. He wasn't doing this because he believed Eugene and Abraham but because he thought it was right.

"Carol and Cecilia found some formula and some other food for babies, I'm glad they did. I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't found anything either," Rick commented as he fed Judith.

"What else did they find?"

"Not much to be honest, but we found lots of food yesterday so it's not as bad."

I nodded at him, not knowing what else to say. I took a quick glance at Judith, who smiled and giggled at me when I did. I semi-smiled back at the toddler before quickly standing up. I excused myself and walked outside and my eyes instantly landed on the blonde girl I was looking for. I took big steps as I approached her.

Tara just took one look at me and she understood I needed to talk to Cecilia alone. she excused herself quickly before I could ask her if she could leave us alone for a minute. I grabbed Cecilia's hand and led her away from the group, walking back into the forest.

"Now what?" Cecilia asked annoyed as I stopped walking and turned my body to face her.

I bit my lip and looked down at the ground, not knowing how to start, what to tell her. Only minutes ago I perfectly knew what I was going to say to her but now it was like something had snatched my thoughts away, I went blank.

"I want to talk," I told her and she just sighed and gave me an annoyed and frustrated look. "I'm not here to get you to talk about it, like your mother has done. I'm here because I need to talk about this. You may be okay but I ain't... I need to talk about it with you."

Her annoyed look soon disappeared and her eyes softened as she looked back up at me. Today it was very cloudy so her eyes looked almost a stormy grey instead of their normal light blue shade.

"Look, I know it's hard, I know it's painful but we must see things how they are. We lost a kid and we need to grieve its death. We must find some way to make us feel better, anything to come to grips with what happened and move on, and I think a start to do that is to talk about it, to discuss it... together."

"I didn't even know about it," she told me in a low tone. "I didn't get attached, I didn't have time to. I know it sounds like I'm a heartless bitch but it's what I feel. It was gone before I felt anything for it."

"I don't think that's true, Cecilia. Maybe you didn't know about it until it was too late but you did feel something, you do feel something now."

"All I felt was fear... for my own life. Just because you actually feel something it doesn't mean I do too!" she exclaimed and I did notice how her eyes filled with tears even when she would never admit it. "Besides, I thought we were here because you needed to talk."

"I do but in order for both of us to heal, I need you to accept the way you feel, I need you to stop downplaying what happened just because you are afraid of the pain but let me break it to you, the pain will come eventually and the more you delay it, the stronger it will come and hit you."

"Daryl, if you keep with this, I'll just go."

"It would have been nice, right? Scary but nice."

"What?"

"The baby, I think we could have done it, make it work somehow."

"No. I already told you, it was for the best. I wouldn't have been able to do that. See how things are, Daryl!" she said, raising her voice a bit and her eyes watered once again "The prison is gone and who knows if we will be able to find a place as good and safe as that. We didn't even have food two days ago. It's not realistic to think we could have done it, we would have both ended up dead trying to protect it."

"If it's not realistic, how does Rick make it work? And not with one but two kids."

"We had the prison then and everyone helped Rick but... Lori died, remember? I don't want to die like that. I don't want my life to end."

"You wouldn't have died and we would have make it work and..."

"You don't know that!" she shouted, interrupting me. "Anything can happen at any time but let's say I don't die and things are good for a while, then what? There's always something happening. Either walkers or people, we can't even protect ourselves sometimes, much less a baby, Daryl! We weren't even together then, I had no idea I was going to see you again!"

"Are you mad at me?" I asked her, shocking her a bit. "Because I wasn't there when it happened, do you blame me?"

"What?" she exclaimed in surprise. "No, of course not! Don't be ridiculous."

"But you do blame yourself."

I wasn't asking, I knew she felt guilty about it, Rick told me what she said to him a couple of nights ago. About feeling guilty if the kid died somehow after it was born, maybe by walkers but I believed that her statement was valid too for what happened.

"Yes, I do," she muttered as she looked away from me. "See? That's another proof that it wouldn't have worked, I sucked as a mother even before being one."

"What?"

"Maybe if I had found out sooner, I would have been more careful," she said, her voice almost breaking. "It died and it's on me."

She turned around quickly after that and stepped away from me, she didn't leave though. She just stayed there, with her back to me. I sighed, knowing I couldn't just go after her because then she would just leave for good and then she would just push me away again.

I was going to speak again when a particular sound silenced me and left me paralysed. Her sobs. Cecilia was crying, it killed me to see her like that.

"Ceci, that's not true," I said in a soft tone as I walked towards her.

"It is!" she yelled as she turned around, tears running down her face. "It is my fault you are suffering, it is my fault it happened... that all of this happened. I'm the one to blame."

I couldn't take it anymore, I took one last step and wrapped my arms around her, she struggled and screamed, she pushed me away and tried to get me to let her go but I just tightened my grip around her, when she noticed I wasn't going to release her she started to hit me in the chest as she cried, I must admit it started to hurt as time passed but I wasn't letting go, not now.

Cecilia finally broke down and she needed me, I hated to see her like this but it was necessary for her to finally come to grips and grieve, she needed to stop her denial.

"No! Let me go!" she kept repeating as she struggled in my arms.

Cecilia was strong, she almost got freed but I just readjusted my arms around her and held her even tighter. I really was starting to believe she wasn't going to calm down and attract every walker to us when she just went limp in my arms, she stopped hitting me and instead buried her face in my chest as she cried harder, I had to hold her even tighter so she wouldn't fall down to the ground. Before, she tried to stop or at least not make a sound as she cried but now she didn't care anymore... or, finally everything caught up with her and she couldn't control and stop it anymore.

I kissed the top of her head as I brought her closer to me and ran a hand up and down her back, I felt her body shaking with the sobs, my eyes even watered at the sight.

I wasn't going to tell her everything was fine, because it wasn't. I wasn't going to tell her that the pain would eventually go away because that wouldn't be true, the pain will always be there, we will just learn to deal with it better with time.

"It's okay to cry, it's okay to feel this," I whispered as I kissed the top of her head again. "We'll make it through."

"Daryl," she mumbled in a hoarse voice as she pulled back a bit, glancing up at me for a second before looking down again. "I pushed you away because I couldn't face you knowing this was my fault. And that this meant more for you than I could ever imagine, made things worse. I felt more like shit, I couldn't see you hurting like that especially because I caused that."

"This isn't your fault," I said quickly.

"There was a woman, she hit me with a rifle in the stomach, and maybe she provoked it, maybe not. Maybe this was going to happen with or without her. Either way, that day I was distracted, I was going after the Governor, I felt so much rage that my judgement was cloudy and I just thought about him, I didn't see her coming. I should have, I would have killed her with a gunshot before she could even get closer to me but I didn't. I should have told someone and gotten those tests earlier instead of pushing it away because I was scared of the results. If I had known I would have been more careful or I should have acted when I saw the signs, the pain, the bleeding, I just ignored them and pretended nothing serious was happening. I just feel like maybe if I had done things differently..."

"You couldn't, this is not on you."

"You were right," she said in a very low voice before she broke down again, several more tears falling down her face.

"About what, darling?"

"I did feel something, I still do... sometimes," she said, as she glanced at me again.

"You wanted it?"

"Yes... and no. It's complicated. Like I knew I couldn't and you know I never wanted kids but there was a moment, even before the attack, even before losing it and knowing about it, when I was just suspecting it that I looked at Judith and Rick and Carl just having fun together and I thought that it would be nice if you and I could have that, it was just something fleeting. It didn't last much more than a minute but I felt it again before finding you, and then I felt it one more time when I saw Judith again and saw Rick's expression that day when they got reunited. It's just an odd feeling that warms me up inside but then I remember... and I feel sad all over again."

"I feel that too, except it's not fleeting," I told her. "I feel it all the time."

"There was one time in particular where I prayed that it wasn't true... that what was happening wasn't real. I actually wanted it so bad, because what were the odds of finding you? And that was the last piece of you I had then, I thought that it could be a baby that looked just like you, with your eyes, so I could see them again but I kept getting those cramps and the bleeding wouldn't stop, I think that was the day I just shut off, the day I unconsciously tried to fool myself into thinking things so it wouldn't hurt as bad. That day there was even more blood than the others, like a way for the universe or whatever to tell me it was happening and I was being a fool for having a bit of blind faith."

"Hold on," I said quickly, as something hit me. "Blood. The nightmare of the other night, it was about this right? It wasn't about walkers or getting shot or anything like that, right?"

She nodded sadly as she wiped new tears and I had to do the same, the first tear fell when she finally admitted she did want it, just like I did.

"Well, you can be at ease now," I said with a small smile. "Merle is taking care of it, along with Sophia." That made her cry more but she also chuckled as she nodded. "I'm sure they are doing a great job by looking after it... her."

"Her?" she asked me, raising her eyebrows and looking right at me with her now puffy, bloodshot eyes.

"Yeah," I muttered as my smile got just a bit bigger. "I believe it was a girl."

"How?"

I sighed, I told her about the make-believe scene when I was with Beth, except I didn't even mention Beth. I told her I saw a blonde little toddler girl and that Maggie and Glenn also had a baby in that kind of vision I had, except theirs was a boy. And I also told her about my dream last night, every single detail, which made her cry again when I said Merle and Sophia were there.

"I think it was a girl too," she whispered as she for once, hugged me back, instead of just gripping my shirt with her fists or resting her hands on my chest. I had an arm on the middle of her back and one behind her head, softly caressing her and playing with her long hair. "I had dreams too, that's what made me suspect back then that I could be pregnant and I had a lot of dreams, and it was always a baby girl, in each one of them."

"Really?" I asked her surprised.

"Yeah, a blonde girl with..."

"My blue eyes," I said, finishing for her.

"Yeah, exactly. How did you know?"

"That's how I saw her too, both times. She also had your dimple, I remember that from my dream."

"And your southern accent," she told me with a smile. "I had like two dreams when she was like five and she talked just like you, and in one of them, you were teaching her how to use the crossbow and I was completely against it."

"Believe me, I would do that for sure. It would be fun."

"I'm sure Merle will make sure to teach her now," she said with a sad smile but she didn't shed more tears. "And Sophia will play dolls with her but she will want cars toys instead, like me."

"You didn't like dolls?" I asked surprised.

"I did but preferred cars after my cousin gave me a bunch of his old toys, plus a toy race track." I chuckled.

"I didn't know that, that's interesting."

After that she told me that her mother kept buying her dolls but her cousins just kept giving her more toy cars and she kept the dolls but barely used them. As she talked she smiled and even laughed, which was good. She had finally let it out, it wasn't easy but she did it and I was more than glad that we had this moment.

"Daryl?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"You never gave up on me, you never judged me for all the horrible things I said and you never blamed me, I kept pushing you away but you didn't walk away from me, you just... tried harder."

"We are in this together, want it or not. I have your back and you have mine, until the end."

"Until the end," she repeated and nodded. "One more thing... I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"You needed me, you needed to talk about this and I was too absorbed in my own feelings that I neglected you, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you needed time and space, I needed it too."

She nodded at me but she still looked conflicted so I leant down and kissed her lips, in a way to reassure her that things are good between us and that we are together in this mess, no matter what comes, nothing will ever break us apart and I also was dying to kiss her.

"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

~~Hello guys! I know it's been an awfully long time since I updated. My life and everything has been a mess lately and I have been busy.

I love this story and Cecilia and Daryl and I want to continue it and I will.

So, thank you to the people has messaged me to continue the story, and I'm sorry if I let you guys down. I finally have found the time and motivation to keep with this. I even started to make a new video, which I haven't done in about four months. I have also been wanting to do a small video about this drama with Cecilia and Daryl, I had the perfect song for it but I waited too long I forgot but I will remember haha.

So, tell me what you think of this chapter. I find it very moving and I was eager to post it.

:)


	40. Chapter 40 - Four Walls and a Roof

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow.

Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like."

\- Lao Tzu

Cecilia's POV

After it got dark, we all gathered inside just as we did last night. We opened about four cans of our food plus some chips and we sat around. I sat right next to Daryl and soon Tara joined me.

Abraham informed us the bus was going to be completely fixed soon, probably by tomorrow morning, so we could all get our things ready to not lose time tomorrow, everyone cheered except me. Daryl only shrugged at me, knowing how I felt about it.

Soon after we were done, Daryl stood up and went to talk to Rick, while Carl took Daryl's place, Tara was still with me. She had avoided me since she told me about her girlfriend but after I came back from the run with my mum, I went to talk to her so she knew everything was okay between us.

It was late and it had been a very long day, so I let Carl lie down and use my lap as a pillow, I ran my hands through his long brown hair as Tara and I talked. It felt nice to have someone close to my age that I could talk to, Maggie was around my age too but we never really got that close, she was too serious for me.

Some time had passed and I was starting to get really drowsy, I had my head and back against the wall as Carl had fallen asleep and I didn't have the heart to move him. Tara had lied down but she was still awake, she was telling me some story from before the turn. I was only minutes from falling asleep when I raised my head and looked around the room.

Rick was with Abraham now, I looked everywhere but couldn't find Daryl, even when I checked two more times. I tried to tell myself that he could have gone out to piss, or he was in the room but I couldn't see him at the moment, or he was inside one of the two rooms at the end of the church. I kept looking around and noticed my mum wasn't here either. Only minutes ago Mika was sleeping and now she was gone too, that was odd.

I slowly lifted Carl's head and laid it carefully on the floor, I didn't have anything to use as a pillow at the moment but luckily he didn't wake up. I stood up as I told Tara I was going to be right back. Rick noticed me going to him before I finally got there.

"Have you seen my mum?" I asked him. "Or Mika?"

He seemed confused at my question, he looked all around the room as I told him Daryl was gone too. I didn't want to freak out but if Rick didn't know then that couldn't mean anything good.

"I'm sure they are fine," Rick said, trying to keep calm too.

"Rick!" Tyreese exclaimed just seconds before we heard a gun shot outside.

Rick ordered everyone to stay inside as Tyreese, Rick and I were rushing out. Tyreese told Rick that Bob was gone as we walked to where we heard the gunshot. We saw Sasha, who was on guard, hitting a walker on the head repeatedly with the rifle.

Tyreese wrapped his arms from behind her and covered her mouth, preventing her from screaming. He calmed her down and assured her it was just him.

"He's getting away!" Sasha exclaimed.  
"Who?" Rick asked.

"Somebody was watching us."  
"If we go in there now, some of us aren't coming back," Tyreese said to his sister.  
"Bob is out there somewhere!" Sasha exclaimed desperately, I understood her because Daryl was gone too. "Scared, alone."  
"Maybe not alone," Rick said. "Daryl, Carol and Mika are missing, too."  
"Haven't you seen them?" I asked Sasha, hoping to hear a yes, but she just shook her head. "What do we do now?"

"We must go look for them," Rick said, without a doubt in his tone. "But first, let's go inside. We need to talk to someone and make a plan."

"The hell?" I heard from behind me, I turned around and saw Daryl rushing to where we were. He had his crossbow in one hand. I sighed out of relief when I saw him.

I walked quickly to him and embraced him tightly, stopping him dead in his tracks. He slowly hugged me back as he exclaimed, "woah!" and gave the others a look of shock.

"Okay... what is going on?" he asked confused as I just tightened my grip on him.

"I thought... I thought you were gone," I muttered as I finally let go of him. "Wait a minute, where were you? Have you seen my mum?"

"Alright, let's discuss that inside," Rick exclaimed in a desperate tone, he didn't want us to be out here any longer, especially when people could be out here watching us and maybe pointing their weapons at us.

All of us walked back to the church, Daryl and I going behind Rick, who was the only one who had a flashlight. I thought they would rush in but all of us just walked in very calmly. Sasha, went straight to Gabriel, though, while Rick and Tyreese made sure to close the door, while I stopped Daryl by grabbing his elbow.

"Where were you?"

"Jeez, I was in the bathroom, alright?" Daryl exclaimed with a tone of frustration. "What's up with you?"

"And you were in the bathroom for more than twenty minutes?" I asked him, still not buying it because my mum was nowhere to be seen and Bob was missing and all of this wasn't normal.

"Cecilia, seriously, what's up? I'm constipated, goddamn it!" Daryl exclaimed, trying to keep his voice down, not like he needed to, Sasha was screaming at Father Gabriel right now, everyone's attention was on them, not us.

"Oh, okay," I said a bit uncomfortably. I felt bad I was acting this way but I was really uneasy at the moment. "I'm sorry, it's just I thought you were gone. I don't want to lose you again."

"Ceci, you won't lose me again," Daryl said in a much softer tone, his frustration was gone now. "I promise."

"I just freaked," I mumbled. "You, my mum, Mika, Bob... all were gone."

"Wait, what?"

"I don't know where my mum or Mika are," I told him. "And Sasha just said Bob is missing too."

"We'll find them," Daryl said, trying not to show his nervousness but I saw it in his eyes for a split second.

Daryl and I then turned our attention to Sasha, who kept blaming the man. Rick always suspected of him, and I admit he was a bit weird but Carl trusted him, and that was quite uncommon, so that made me doubt and actually have some faith in Gabril. Daryl and I slowly approached the scene.  
"I'm not blaming you but if you know something, please tell me," I told Gabriel in a nice tone. "My mum and a little girl are gone too."

"I swear I don't kno..."

In that moment Sasha got out her knife and walked towards Gabriel, we all reacted immediately, begging her to not do it. I grabbed her left hand, stopping her from going any further. She jerked her hand away from my grip but didn't move further.  
"Who's out there?"

"I don't have anything – to do with this."  
"Where are our people?"

"I don't have anything to..."

"Where are our people?!" she shouted, making Gabriel jump and coward away.

"Please, I don't have anything to do with this," he said in the most calm voice he could master but you could tell it was about to break.

I saw his eyes and I could almost be sure Gabriel was telling the truth and that he actually had nothing to do with any of this but after Sean, whom I trusted, I wasn't so sure I could trust my judgement anymore. He was my friend and I lived with him for more than a year, I could say I knew him well but I was wrong, so I said nothing. My judgement could be wrong again.

"If he has something to do with this," I said quickly to Sasha. "And you kill him, we might never find them."

Sasha, who was about to lose it, decided it was best to stepped away. She slowly walked backwards, staying behind Rick and next to her brother, I was close to her, just next to Rick right now, while Daryl was a step behind me, eyeing Sasha, making sure she wasn't going to try anything else.  
"Why'd you bring us here?" Rick asked him.

"Please, I..."

"You working with someone?" Rick asked, interrupting him.

"I'm alone. I'm alone, I was always alone."  
"What about the woman in the food bank, Gabriel? What did you do to her? 'You'll burn for this.' That was for you. Why? What are you gonna burn for, Gabriel? What? What did you do?" Rick yelled the last part as he grabbed Gabriel by his shirt's collar and cornered him. "What did you do?!"

Rick let go of him but stayed right in front of Gabriel, who started to sob, it was obvious that he was consumed by guilt.

"I lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always – They started coming, my congregation. Atlanta was bombed the night before and they were scared. They were – they were looking for a safe place, a place where they felt safe," he told us as he sobbed. "And it was so early. It was so early. And the doors were still locked. You see it was my choice. There were so many of them and they were trying to pry the shutters and banging on the sidings, screaming at me. And so the dead came for them. Women, children... Entire families calling my name as they were torn apart, begging me for mercy. Begging me for mercy." He sobbed harder then. "Damning me to hell. I buried their bones. I buried it all. The Lord sent you here to finally punish me."

Gabriel then fell to the floor as he cried harder, I only looked at him with pity. If I believed he was innocent before, now I was almost completely convinced. Maybe it was because we were in a church but I really thought he didn't do anything wrong.

"I'm damned. I was damned before. I always lock the doors. I always lock the doors." Gabriel wept as he was on the floor, consumed by guilt and remorse.

It was then when we heard whistling outside. Some of us rushed to the windows and looked what was going on, I could almost be sure that didn't sound like my mum or even Bob.  
"There's something- there's someone outside lying in the grass!" Glenn exclaimed.  
Before anyone else could react, before Daryl could stop me, Sasha and I ran across the church and opened the door as quickly as we could and as soon as we did she let out a squeal, it was Bob who was out here. Daryl soon caught up with me and I turned around and buried my face in his shoulder as I wrapped my arms around him, the sight in front of me was horrible.

I felt relief it wasn't my mum the one there because Bob only had one leg but also fear because she and Mika were still not here and anything could have happened to them, now I was even more worried about them and having really bad thoughts after seeing Bob like that.

Sasha ran to Bob's side, Maggie was horrified he didn't have a leg. Glenn, Rick, Daryl and I fought some walkers that were walking towards us while Sasha and Tara grabbed Bob. Not long after, Rick just lost it and killed the rest of the walkers with his gun, yelling at us to go in.

I turned around after I killed a walker to go inside when I saw a big 'A' painted on the wall of the church and I could swear only minutes ago that wasn't there. I felt goosebumps in my skin as I looked at it. If I remembered correctly we were in 'A' back at Terminus. Daryl quickly noticed I had stopped, he grabbed my hand and pulled me inside with the others.

After Rick got in and closed the door, everyone gathered around Bob, by now Carl was awake. I stood close to the group as I hugged myself. My legs shook but I couldn't just sit, I was too nervous and anxious to just sit and hear Bob. I could lose my mother, Mika could be dead, plus we now have a friend that has no leg.  
"I was in the graveyard, somebody knocked me out," Bob told us. "I woke up outside this place. It looked like a school. It was that guy, Gareth and five other ones."

I shot my head in his direction when he said his name, I already knew it must be them but hearing Bob just confirmed my fears and they meant nothing good. If he did have them, they must be dead by now.  
"They were eating my leg right in front of me like it was nothing," Bob continued and it made me shiver when he said that. "All proud like they had it all figured out."  
"Did they have Mika and Carol?" Rick asked the question I was too afraid to ask, he shook his head just before groaning.  
"He's in pain," Sasha exclaimed as she looked at Rosita. "Do we have anything?"

While Bob and Sasha got into an argument, Bob didn't want us to waste the pills on him while Sasha tried to get him to take them, I couldn't stop thinking about my mum. I snapped when Bob moved his shirt a bit, showing us the bite he had on his shoulder. I almost ran to the door, I needed to look for them. Daryl quickly stopped me, grabbed my wrist and made me turn around, facing him.

"What are you doing?" he exclaimed angrily.

"What do you think? I'm going to look for them!" I said. "And if I run into Gareth, I will kill that son of a b..."

"No."

"You can't stop me."

"I'll go," he told me with determination, I just shook my head. "I can track you never learnt, I can be as quiet as a rabbit and I can go unnoticed, you can't. So, I'll go."

"I told you earlier..."

"And you won't lose me."

"If you I go too," I told him sternly. "It's my mum, I should be the one doing this."

"Always you being too stubborn," Daryl said frustrated after he took a big sigh.

"Wait!" Rick exclaimed as he ran to us, interrupting our argument. It was then that I noticed Bob wasn't here anymore, he was taken to Gabriel's office. "We will go look for them together, Gabriel knows the place Bob talked about. He is making us a map right now." Daryl just sighed.  
"Time for a reality check," Abraham said to us all, he was some feet away from us, I turned around to look at him. "We all need to leave for DC right now."

"Excuse me!?" I exclaimed in disbelief as I glared at him and felt such hatred for the man. "My mum and a little girl are out there and if you think we will leave without them then you lost your mind. We won't go anywhere."  
"She's right," Rick said. "We're not going anywhere without them."  
"I respect that, but there's a clear threat here to Eugene," he told us. "I need to extract his ass before things get any uglier."

"Then you go, I won't leave my family here!" I almost shouted at the ginger haired man.  
"Fine, if y'all won't come, good luck to you. We'll go our separate ways," he said as he walked towards the door.  
"You leaving on foot?" Rick asked him, making Abraham stop dead in his tracks.

"We fixed that damn bus ourselves!"  
"There are a lot more of us."  
"You want to keep it that way? You should come."  
"Carol saved your life!" Rick told Abraham. "We saved your life."  
"Well, I am trying to save yours. Save everyone's."  
"We're not going anywhere without our people."  
"Your people took off!"  
"They're coming back!"  
"To what, picked-over bones?!"

"You're not taking..."

"Do not lay hands!" Abraham shouted as Rick put a hand over his arm.

Things started to get heated and physical, I wanted to punch Abraham myself but I knew that would be of no use right now. So, I walked towards Rick and grabbed him by his elbow, while Rosita called Abraham and Glenn stood in between them.

"Hey, hey, stop! Now! Do you really think that you're gonna be any safer leaving right now in the middle of the night?" Glenn asked.

"Yeah."

"What about tomorrow? We need each other for this. We need each other to get to DC. We can get through all of it together."  
"I have an idea," Tara exclaimed as she walked past me and Rick and got into the middle. "If you stay just one more day and help, I'll go with you to DC no matter what." Then she turned to look at Rick and then at me. "Okay?"

"Glenn and Maggie, too," Abraham said.  
"No," Rick stated.  
"Good luck, then. I'm not interested in breaking up what you have here. Rosita, grab your gear. Eugene, let's go." Eugene didn't even turn to look at Abraham. "Eugene. Move it!"

"I don't want to."

Woah, where did that come from? He seemed like a five-year-old boy challenging his mother but I got to admit he can stand for himself... apparently.  
"Now!"  
"Okay," he whispered.

Well, maybe I was wrong. Eugene stood up and awkwardly walked away. I only looked at him as I shook my head. These people were pathetic and ridiculous. He was supposed to be the one with the answers to everything and he wanted to stay and the other guy was too blinded by what this man told him or he was a coward for not wanting to stay and deal with these people.

"How can you run off when things get ugly and abandon us like if we didn't help getting you... or Eugene out of that place."

"I'm sorry for how things turned out but Eugene can't stay any longer here."  
"You're not taking the bus."  
"Try to stop me," Abraham said to Rick in a threatening way.

There were some very awkward seconds in which no one really moved at all, that was a challenge and I knew that couldn't end well. I just stayed there, watching Rick. He was taking deep breaths, he was very upset. Then he just took long steps towards the ginger man, Glenn and I reacted quickly and ran after him, I tried to grab Rick by his arm again while Glenn stood in between the two men again.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait! Hey, hey!" Glenn exclaimed, then he looked at Rick, patting him on his chest to make him stay still for a bit, then he turned to look at Abraham, while I just tightened my grip on Rick. "You stay – you stay and help us, and we will go with you."  
"No!" I said at the same time as Rick. I couldn't lose Glenn too, again.  
"It's not your call," he simply told us, but mostly to Rick. "You stay, help us."

"Half a day," Abraham told Glenn. "Come high noon, we're taillights. I'm not waiting for the other damn shoe to drop."  
"And we will leave with you," Maggie said.  
"Then we go," Abraham muttered and then he walked away, leaving us stunned.

"You can't be serious!" I said to Glenn. "Are you really going to...?"

"Don't make this harder," Glenn said to me, looking me straight in the eye. "Just don't."

I opened my mouth again but I didn't know what to say. I wanted to beg him to not go with these people but I guess it was already decided. Glenn took a deep breath before he also walked away. I crossed my arms as he did.

Then I looked at Tara and gave her the same look, we might have not been on good terms at first but I liked her now and she saved me and we had already spent a lot of time together and without her, who would I talk to?

"I know, okay?" she told me sadly. "I had to."

Then I turned around, expecting to see Daryl, I actually thought he was going to help stop Rick from starting a fight or at least to stop me from being in the middle but to my surprise he was no longer here, I took deep breaths to calm myself. He had left.

I just sat on one of the benches, feeling fear and despair. I buried my face in my hands. My mum, Mika and now Daryl were gone, who knows where, I was going to lose Glenn, Maggie and Tara, and we were being chased by crazy people that wanted to eat us. This just couldn't get any worse.

Some minutes later, I heard the door of one of the little rooms being opened, I looked up and saw Daryl.

"Those assholes are out there!" he exclaimed. "They are watching our every move."

Rick nodded at Daryl and then called us all so we could make a plan. We all sat around, making a circle, except for Bob and Sasha. They were in one of the rooms in the back of the church. While Rick explained the plan, Daryl told us they didn't know he was back, that's why he got in through a window in the back.

"I guess we should have just gone back and killed them," I said just before I sat next to Glenn, who only gave me a look. He was against that plan so he probably believed that comment was made for him, but it was for all of them, they didn't want to go back and now we were in trouble. We could have prevented this and they knew it.

"They think they're in control," Rick said, choosing to ignore my comment, which was loud enough for everyone to hear it. "We're in here and they could be anywhere... But we know exactly where they are."  
"Plan's got stones, I'll give you that," Abraham said.  
"Make our move before they do," Glenn added.  
"That's right," Rick exclaimed with a nod. "They're not counting on us thinking straight."  
"Are we? I'm just making sure," Rosita muttered. "It's a big play."  
"Remember what these people are capable of," Rick told us as she walked into the centre. "Tyreese."  
"Yeah?"

"You up for this?"

"I'm going with you," Sasha exclaimed as she walked out of the room, I guess she had been listening to us.  
"You should stay with Bob," her brother told her.  
"No, I want to be out there," Sasha said. "I want to be a part of this."  
Sasha walked inside the room again and Tyreese went after her, probably to change her mind. I would hate to be in her place. I would want to spend until the last second with Daryl but I would also want to get revenge, to kill those bastards myself. She was in an impossible situation.

I sighed and went for my things, I took my gun out of my backpack and made sure I had my knife with me. I wouldn't take my crossbow with me on this mission. I wanted to go light.

"What are you doing?" Glenn asked me, making me turn to look at him. He was in the same spot on the floor even when we had already finished talking about the plan and most of us had stood up.

"What do you think?" I said. "Getting ready."

"You are not going," Glenn told me in such an authoritative tone I was surprised. He had never talked to me in that way. I turned to look at Rick, and he just shrugged at me, and then at Daryl, who also looked confused but no one said anything.

"Excuse me?" I asked him with a small chuckle. "I'm going and that's final. They could have my mum, there is no way I'm staying here."

"Glenn, it's okay," Rick told him. "Gabriel, Carl, Rosita and probably Tyreese will stay to take care of Judith and Bob. She can come."

"Why are you even letting her go? You heard her back there!" Glenn exclaimed and my blood froze right there. "And what about you?" Glenn asked as he looked at Daryl, he seemed to be a bit disappointed and even angry at Rick and especially at Daryl. "You should look after her, but you seem cool about her going."

"Glenn, look, you don't get it..." I said quickly but he interrupted me.

"You are pregnant for God's sake!" he loudly exclaimed. "You should avoid every run you can, not seek for them. I know your mum is missing but you should stay and stop being so reckless!"

I awkwardly smiled at everyone in the room when they turned to look at me with shocked expressions on their faces. Abraham even sarcastically chuckled. Rick just looked rather uncomfortable and Daryl lowered his head and kept his gaze on the floor as he fidgeted a bit.

"What?" I heard Maggie exclaimed but I ignored her, or the couple of gasps I heard.

"Right, that," I muttered as I looked down at the floor as well before I looked at the Asian. "I forgot to mention that was..." I made a pause and cleared my throat. "A lie. I told Gareth that in hopes of convincing him to let us live or at least to waste some time while one of you thought of something. I wanted to clear things once we were here but with everything that happened it slipped my mind and I apologize for making you believe that."

"You are not pregnant?" Glenn asked me, he seemed like he wasn't believing what I was saying.

"No!" I exclaimed with a smile, pretending everything was cool "You know what I think about that subject, we discussed it a few months ago, remember?" I said and at that Daryl stopped looking at the floor and turned to look at me with an eyebrow raised. "It was the only thing I could come up with and we needed time so I took the chance and lied about it. Not cool, I know, but I was so scared that they were going to kill us..."

"It's okay," Glenn said quickly. "I get it."

"Okay, now that we have cleared that up, I hope you have no more objections on me going."

Just as I said that, Sasha walked out of the small room, apparently Tyreese didn't convince her to stay. She nodded at us, telling us she was ready. The rest grabbed their weapons and soon we walked out of the church, Rick was on the lead, followed by Michonne and then me. On last minute Rick had decided Daryl needed to stay, they couldn't see Daryl had gone back inside the church, that could ruin the plan.

"What if we get back too late?" I whispered to Glenn, who was behind me.

"We went through the plan several times, it has to work."

We walked through the woods as quiet and carefully as we could, we didn't want to bump into Gareth and his people and walkers, that would ruin the plan.

We didn't go far, just far enough. It was risky and many things could go wrong but this plan was the best we could come up with and I hope it worked, otherwise the people that stayed could die.

We waited some minutes that felt eternal so that could give Gareth time to go to the church, thinking only the weak and sick stayed. Making him believe we did go to the school, assuming Bob told us where he was.

Once we went back enough to see every man walked inside the church while we hid behind trees and plants, we silently walked to the church, staying outside. We could hear Gareth from here, he was telling them to come out. We patiently waited for the right moment to ambush them until something made my heart skip a beat, Judith's cries.

Rick silently cursed, the plan had gone so well until now. Rick looked at us and nodded, meaning it was time. The door was slightly opened so we could sneak in without making any noise. Rick went in first, followed by me, and then Michonne.

This part of the church was the darkest so they couldn't see us, plus they were all focused on one of the rooms, they had their guns pointed at the door. The windows here allowed some moonlight to brighten this place a bit and allowed us to see our enemies good enough so we could shoot them.

I raised my gun and thought of what I had said earlier, about not wanting to kill any more people. Daryl said he would do that for me but I told him he wasn't going to be with me all the time and right now he wasn't here.

Right when they were going to shoot at the door to get it opened, Sasha and I fired, killing two of their men. We had silencers on, thankfully. The rest of them looked at their friends and then at the dark end of the church where we were, hidden in the shadows.

"Put your guns on the floor!" Rick exclaimed.  
"Rick, we'll fire right into that office. So you lower your gun – Ah!"

Rick had shot Gareth, interrupting him. I couldn't see where exactly he had hit him but by Gareth's whimpers I knew he had indeed shot him. Gareth was shocked. Then he fell on the ground in a lot of pain.

"Put your guns on the floor and kneel!" Rick exclaimed as he walked forward and revealed himself, he had his gun pointed at Gareth, plus all of us also were pointing at the rest of them, just in case.  
"Do what he says!" Gareth exclaimed from the ground. Everyone quickly threw their weapons to the ground and knelt down, everyone except one man. "Martin, there's no choice here."  
"Yeah, there is."

"Want to bet?" Abraham asked, as he also revealed himself and got closer to Martin.

Martin looked around as we slowly approached them all, he probably weighed his options before he also threw his gun and knelt.

Once everyone was on the ground, we quickly approached them. Each one of us was pointing at one man, or in Michonne's case, a woman. If anybody tried something we would shoot them before they could. Of course that Gareth was left to Rick. I looked at him for a couple of seconds and realized Rick had shot him in the hand and now he was missing two fingers from his left hand.

"No point in begging, right?" he muttered as he turned to look at me. "Even when I had given you a second chance?"

"No," Rick said before I could say anything.  
"Still, you could have killed us when you came in. There had to be a reason for that," Gareth told him, he probably had some tiny bit of hope.  
"We didn't want to waste the bullets," Rick told him in a cold voice, it even sent shivers down and up my back, I would be scared if he wasn't part of my group.  
"We used to help people. We saved people," Gareth told him. "Things changed. They came in and... After that... I know that you've been out there, but I can see it. You don't know what it is to be hungry."

I rolled my eyes at him. Of course we all knew. We may look pretty healthy for what life is now and compared to other people but we had starved on several ocassions, in my case, even before all this shit started. We had all been there, being so hungry that is all you can think about and having no energy to even stand up. We had all gone through that.  
"You don't have to do this," Gareth said as he looked right at Rick. "We can walk away. And we will never cross paths again. I promise you."  
"But you'll cross someone's path. You'd do this to anyone, right? Besides, I already made you a promise."

Rick took out his knife, the one with the red handle and before Gareth could blink, Rick hit him with it right in the middle of his skull and he kept at it repeatedly. The woman started to scream but Michonne took care of her quickly.

I didn't want to kill the man in front of me with my knife, I really didn't. I wanted to use my gun and put a bullet through his brain but we were saving them. I thought of Daryl and my mum and got enough will to do it. I stabbed the man a few times around his heart. He fell to the ground dead, once he was I knelt and stabbed him in the head, so he wouldn't turn and just to make sure.

Killing Alisha by a stab in the head and seeing how life slipped away from her, seeing how her eyes just went cold and lifeless was something I could never recover from and I didn't want to do it again, that's why I couldn't kill this man like this. I'm not saying this way is better, but at least I didn't see him straight in the eye as he died.

I collapsed on the ground when I was done with him, I felt awful and I didn't want to see the body next to me. How could I ask for forgiveness if I would keep doing it? I guess I would have to learn to live with the guilt and remorse, because I would never be forgiven for any death I had been responsible for, only tonight I added two to my list.

"It could have been us," I heard Rick exclaiming, we were all a bit shocked at what we had done and he was just trying to make us and himself feel better. I looked up to see Rick but instead I saw Michonne, she had her sword in her hands, she was looking at it like she had found a treasure.

"Cecilia," Daryl exclaimed as he ran to me."Are you okay?" I shakily nodded at him.

"Just give me a minute," I whispered.

"This is the Lord's house," I heard Gabriel saying to us, horrified. There were seven dead people here and blood was everywhere, on the floor, on the benches, the walls, especially on us.

Some of us had walked into the room where the others had hid but I stayed on the floor, Glenn, Maggie and Tara hadn't moved either. Daryl stayed next to me but he was on his feet now.

"No" Maggie said. "It's just four walls and a roof."  
I took a deep breath and finally stood up, this wasn't the time to feel something, I needed to do other stuff. I walked quickly to the door, action that didn't go unnoticed.

"Where are you going?" Glenn asked me, quickly going after me.

"To the school," I told him. "I just need to check if they are there. They could be, right?"

"You heard Bob, they aren't there."

"What if they are?" I asked him. "It's worth the shot. They could be tied and locked somewhere. I just need to make sure."

"I'll go with you then."

"Me too," Tara said.

Knowing I wouldn't get anywhere with arguing, I nodded at them, Maggie joined us too. Daryl didn't have to say anything, I knew he would come. Except he went in another direction, he said he was going to follow some tracks he found before he came back to tell us they were right outside of the church, while the rest of us went to the school.

Okay guys, finally a new update! I've been so busy, I don't even remember when I last updated but here's a little bit of what has been going on lately.

Well, for a bit more than a month I was busy trying to get a visa to move to USA for a year. Then I was busy trying to get everything ready, medicine, dentist appointments, getting the right clothes, etc.

When I got here I was super busy, I was working about 8 hours daily and somehow I finally got to have friends, so I was always invited to do something and I wanted to explore the city and stuff.

Well, sadly things didn't work out. My time here in Maryland is over, I'll be staying somewhere else for two weeks and if I find nothing I'm going back home, which is really tough.

Anyway, I was close to Alexandria, VA, so that was really exciting. Reminded me of TWD every time.

Well, hope you liked the chapter and hopefully the next one will be up soon! :)


	41. Chapter 41 - Leaving?

"Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he deserves it...

Don't allow his anger to become your anger."

– Bohdi Sanders, Warrior Wisdom: Ageless Wisdom for the Modern Warrior

It took us less than the ten minutes Gabriel said it would take, probably because I ran all the way there. When we got there, I noticed there were some walkers outside of the building but nothing too bad.

We got inside through a window on the back of the building, so we didn't have to face the walkers. I was glad Glenn and the others had come because I hadn't brought a flashlight with me but Glenn and Maggie had. So we separated, Maggie went with Tara and I searched with Glenn. We wanted to get out of here quickly if we didn't find anyone here. It had been a long night and two people were still missing.

"I'm sure she's okay," Glenn told me. "Mika too."

"Yeah," I mumbled. "If they are not here, I have no idea where they could have gone or why."

"They probably had to escape."

"They wouldn't run like rats and leave us."

Then it became silent again, I wanted to scream their names and run around the place and look quicker but I didn't want to attract the walkers outside and I didn't want to trip, this place was so dark.

"So..." Glenn started, making me look at him. "Not pregnant, huh? I really believed you back at Terminus when you said you were."

"Well, I needed to be convincing, I wanted Gareth to believe me, didn't I?" I said, trying to hide my nervousness.

"It was the look on your face. Like if you were truly scared that he was going to kill your baby. Like... I don't know, I hadn't seen that look on you before... that convinced me it was true. I was surprised when you said you had lied."

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you guys think I was. Daryl probably went crazy for a few hours and he was a bit disappointed when I told him the truth."

"He was?" Glenn asked a bit shocked, I nodded. "Cecilia, look, are you sure there is nothing else you want to tell me?"

"Like what?"

I bit my lip and looked away, I didn't want to tell anyone the truth, not even Glenn. This was a secret I needed and wanted to keep, enough people knew about it already, my mum and Rick. Daryl obviously had to know since it concerned him.

"I don't know, you have just been a bit different lately. Starting with the run, you chose to come with me instead of Daryl, that was weird," Glenn told me. "Then you are pregnant, then you are not and then you become Tara's best friend and you are not the kind that just befriends people, you always keep your guard up, even for months and you've been avoiding your mum even when you didn't see her for months."

"You know my mum and I have a complicated relationship, no matter how good things can be between us. I won't lie that the prison thing affected me but I'm fine. We are finally all reunited... well at least for now, speaking of that, I'm mad at you."

"What? Why?"

"You'll leave with Abraham."

"Cici, I had to say yes."

"No, you didn't," I said, we were looking at the last room in here and still hadn't found them.

"We needed him," he said and then sighed.

Glenn said nothing else to me, he put an arm around me and pulled me closer to him. I took a deep breath before resting my head on his shoulder.

"You have to stay alive," I told him. "This can't be the last time I see you."

"You have to stay alive too," he said to me. "We still have many runs to do together."

"Of course," I said with a small smile.

Glenn and I stayed like that for probably two minutes. No matter what, he was my best friend, he was the first person I befriended in this shit new reality, I was his 'best woman' at his wedding and he had to be there for my own wedding.

"Besides," I said after a very long silence. "You have to be my maid of honour for my wedding," I told him as I finally lifted my head and looked at him, a smile was forming on his lips. "Or you have to walk me to Daryl, I still don't know what you will be doing but I can't get married without you."

"Right," Glenn said with a small chuckle. "Right. I'll be there."

We both knew we can't make any promises anymore, anything can happen but we still did, probably to just give us hope that we will see each other again.

"We should go back, they are not here," Glenn told me, giving me a last squeeze before letting go of me.

Maggie and Tara didn't find anything either, I was disappointed and scared but also relieved. A part of me was fearing I would find my mum cut into pieces for what she did to Terminus.

We walked back to the church, which had already took us twenty minutes, my pace was very slow, I felt beaten. I wanted to search these woods and anywhere close but I had no idea where to start, where to go.

Tara and I were a few steps behind Maggie and Glenn, who were holding hands. Tara noticed how down I was and she put a hand on my shoulder for moral support, I smiled at her.

"I'll miss you," I told her, I unconsciously lowered my pace even more then.

"And I'll miss you," she said.

"You are a good person, Tara," I told her as I stopped to turn to look at her. "Forget about what happened in the prison, it's not on you, okay? None of it." She nodded at me. "And please take care of yourself."

"You too," she said quickly.

"And keep an eye on those two..." I said and looked ahead and noticed they had kept going, I couldn't see or hear them anymore. "You can say Glenn is like the brother I never had."

"Of course," she told me with a smile.

Tara and I kept walking but as we did, I saw a knife on the floor, it wasn't Glenn or Maggie's. I picked it up and looked closely at it. Then I looked around and saw some broken branches on the trees next to us. I didn't need to tell Tara I was going to check that out, she even went ahead of me. Some meters later I saw a body on the ground.

"Do you have your flashlight?" I asked and she nodded, turning it on quickly.

She lighted the body as I carefully crouched to get a better view. I turned it around because it was on his stomach. When I did I noticed this man was killed while he was still alive, he had a stab wound on his chest, he probably was attacked where I found the knife and he took it out himself and threw it there and died only a bit away from the crime scene.

I grabbed the knife and stabbed him in the brain so he wouldn't turn. I stood up again and just looked at Tara, silently asking her what she was thinking.

"He is one of Gareth's men, I remember him. He offered us food when we first got there," Tara told me. "If you want we can keep walking in this direction, maybe we can find something else."

"Sure, let's go."

I didn't like finding a dead man in the middle of the woods, especially when he was killed by another human, not a walker. I tried to keep my cool but my mind was running one thousand miles per hour, I was having all kind of horrible thoughts.

A wild animal, probably a squirrel, ran in front of us, we both jumped and aimed our weapons but the animal was too fast we didn't even see it, but gladly it was nothing else. It still scared the crap out of us.

As we kept walking, we came across a second body, it was a woman and she had more than a stab wound, she had four and another one in her forehead. Her blue shirt was stained with bright red blood, I touched her cheek and it was still warm, she didn't die more than two or three hours ago.

"Let's keep going," Tara told me.

"Was she from Terminus too?" I asked as I started walking.

"I'm not sure."

We kept walking until Tara and I reached the road, we had three options then. Go left, go right or keep straight and get on the other side of the woods. I asked Tara for her opinion but neither of us knew where to go.

I was going to randomly choose a direction when I saw something on my right side in the middle of the road, it was a small doll, I picked it up and started going in that direction, to the right, I remember seeing Mika with that doll in the prison.

"Let's just hope they went straight from here," I muttered.

Tara and I increased our pace, we were almost jogging by now. Luckily, there weren't branches or roots or anything that could make us trip, so the surface was smoother than the uneven ground of the woods.

Only like three minutes later, I heard voices, making me slow my pace until I could finally see three figures and I luckily recognized the two voices I heard.

"You can't go!" I heard Daryl exclaiming.

None of them had seen me yet and when I heard that I got paralyzed in my spot, go? Was my mother trying to leave us all, even me? But she was taking Mika with her?

Tara kept walking and eventually Daryl heard her, I swear some of his senses weren't human. He turned to look at us and because of how dark it was I couldn't see his expression but I knew that he had recognized me, my mum too.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked as I finally reacted.

I walked closer to them but my mum didn't answer, Daryl didn't either, he just looked at my mother, waiting for her to say something.

"Well?"

No one said anything again, even Tara looked uncomfortable, she knew what my mother was attempting to do. Mika just kept close to my mother, I could sense the girl was very nervous and uneasy, she had barely talked lately and it was obvious she was damaged, the sight of her made me calm down a bit because I was getting very pissed.

"Tara?" I muttered, turning to look at the brunette woman. "Would you be so kind and take Mika back to the church? It's getting very chilly here."

"No, please, I want to stay," Mika desperately cried, grabbing my mum's arm tightly.

"Sweetie, I'll be right there," she said to the young girl. "This is a grown-ups conversation, I promise I'll go very soon."

My mother calmed her down and got her to let go of her arm, so Tara quickly put an arm around the girl's shoulder and slowly pulled her away from us. Mika seemed terrified she was being separated from my mum, even when the church couldn't be that far.

Mika was sweet and gentle but she was never a coward, she was brave when she had to be brave. She proved she knew what was going on while her sister made us wonder, so now it troubled me to see Mika this way. I couldn't help but quickly wonder what happened during these last months.

"So, are you going to say anything or not?" I asked to my mother once Mika and Tara were out of sight. "'You can't go', what does that mean?"

Some very awkward and tense seconds passed, my mum was finally going to say something when we heard a car approaching us.

"Hide, quickly!" Daryl exclaimed.

The three of us got behind the car just on time, a dark car passed by very quickly. Daryl stood up and looked at the car and then out of nowhere he ran to the car's back and started to hit the back lights with his crossbow.

"Woah, what are you doing?" I exclaimed while my mum shouted at him to stop, which he didn't.

"They got Beth!" he exclaimed without even looking at us, he just kept going until he broke the lights. "Let's go! Come on in!"

Without even thinking about it, my mum and I got inside the car too, I ended up in the backseat while my mum was next to Daryl in the front, of course at the moment I had a lot more important things to worry about than that.

We were following some random car, I think Daryl mentioned Beth but I wasn't sure and my mum was going to abandon me, I was so worried and I tried so hard to find her and now I couldn't help but feel like a fool. I was angrier at myself than at my mother.

"Just so you know," I spoke up. "You never told me about how you and Beth got separated, you didn't even tell me if she was alive, Daryl, and you will tell me the whole story once I'm done with my mother. So, you better prepare yourself, because I might not be too comfortable following these strangers for someone as slutty as her. So, mum, what were you doing?"

"I don't know."

"Were you trying to leave? Do you want to leave?" I asked her, my voice slightly raising. I was just getting angrier and angrier. "I thought you were happy you found me."

"I am."

"And you were taking Mika with you?"

"She followed me, I couldn't get her to stay."

"So, you were indeed trying to leave without even saying good-bye but you were taking her with you. What is she now? Your new daughter? My replacement? Our replacement?" I exclaimed at the verge of tears, not of sadness but of rage, I was meaning Sophia and I and my mum understood that.

"Don't you dare say that!" she exclaimed, finally glancing at me for a few seconds. "I love you, I loved her and Mika is no one's replacement. She just needs me and I won't abandon her."

"Just like you were not going to abandon me just now," I said sarcastically. "I spent the whole night looking for you because I thought Gareth had gotten you, you could have at least left a damn note."

"I wasn't sure if I was going to leave or not!"

"But you wanted to." Then I let out a sarcastic chuckle, even Daryl looked at me through the rear mirror. " I am just trying to understand this, you were telling me I could trust you, that you were my mother and that I could go to you to tell you stuff whenever I needed to, bad or good stuff, then once you pretend to be a good mother and I actually believe it you just try to walk out on me, as usual. I mean, seriously? You know all I'm going through right now, you claim I'm hurt, that I'm falling apart and you still dare to leave me while I'm in such state? I just can't get it. Couldn't you wait a bit longer? I could understand back at the prison, you weren't there but it wasn't exactly your choice but now it is, so just why?"

"I told you yesterday, I told you the day before, I love you Cecilia, I do..."

"But?" I said, interrupting her. "Because there's gotta be a but in there, otherwise you wouldn't even be thinking about leaving, especially the way you were doing it."

"Look, I'm confused, I still don't know what I was going to do, I don't! Okay?"

"Whatever," I said, crossing my arms and then glanced at Daryl. His shoulders showed how tense he was at the moment and it was obvious he was uncomfortable being in this car with me and my mum. "You know what? You feel guilty for not finding me in that house where you saw Sean? Good, you should be."

"Cecilia, that's enough!" Daryl said quickly, taking his eyes off the road for a second, giving me a warning with his eyes.

"What? She has done worse things she doesn't feel guilty for, like when she didn't even look for me in the farm, she just assumed I was dead or every time I was sent to the hospital because she didn't have the balls to do something to prevent it from happening again or when I went to prison and I was left to rot there or that time when..."

"I said that's enough!"

"Alright, you want me to focus on you, fine," I said, I was very pissed right now and I couldn't help but be angry at Daryl too, he wasn't to blame, but I was too angry to control who I was angry at. "Tell me the whole story, everything. I need to know how you ended up with her, what you did, where you went, if you saw someone else, what happened when she decided to kiss you, and how come she is not here right now and we are following a car because you say they got her. If you don't tell me everything I'm going to jump out of this car, Daryl, because I don't want to rescue her, if you want, if Maggie or someone else wants, fine, but you gotta tell me the story if you want me to collaborate."

Daryl got even tenser, it was obvious he didn't want to talk about it, especially with my mum here with us but these were my conditions, I was angry and I wanted answers, so if I was acting like a bitch, I'm sorry but I felt like I had the right to be.

Daryl took a deep sigh, then my mum quickly gave him some directions, Daryl ignored me for a couple of minutes but he knew I was waiting and he knew I was being serious, if I said I was going to jump out of the car I would do that, he also knew he had no choice.

As I heard my mum and Daryl discussing the routes quickly, I felt how my heart softened because I couldn't be angry at Daryl. He didn't deserve it. He was here because he was looking for my mum because he wanted to help me, he had done nothing but be there and fight for me.

I was angry at my mum and Beth. One tried to abandon me and the other was a friend who stabbed me in the back by kissing my fiance, not a nice move at all. Hearing we were here because of her just made me feel all that rage when Daryl told me what had happened, I just wanted to punch her but since she wasn't here I needed to get my anger out by being a bitch.

Finally, Daryl started his story. He told me he was looking for me in the prison when Beth convinced him there was no one left inside, there was no one left outside, or at least they couldn't see anyone and they both ran from the prison. He also said they found walkers eating our friends, making him lose all kind of hope. Then he told me about the days they spent out in the open until Beth apparently wanted to get drunk, told me about a golf club and the little shack we found time ago.

He made little pauses, focusing on the car ahead of us, making sure we weren't getting too close to them but also that we wouldn't lose them. He also needed to be careful to not hit anything, not even a plastic bottle because that could make noise and alert those people, and it was too dark outside Daryl needed to put most of his attention on driving, especially since he wasn't using the car's headlights.

"Wait, so you saying she drank my moonshine?" I asked in disbelief.

"It wasn't yours."

"It was when I found it, and yours and Michonne's, no one else's. Damn it Daryl. You took her to our special place, now I feel more angry."

"She lost her dad, I was trying to be nice," Daryl exclaimed. "She wanted a drink, I gave her one."

Of course things didn't make me feel better when he told me he burnt the place, using all the moonshine as accelerant, and he said he let her use his crossbow. I felt special when he taught me how to use it, just me, but now I didn't feel as special anymore, I know I was being over dramatic, but I was hurt and probably the hormones were still all a mess inside of me, making me overreact on pretty much everything.

"So you stayed in a house right on a graveyard?" I asked surprised as Daryl kept telling me his story.

"What's wrong with it?" he asked with a shrug. "We are surrounded by the dead all the time, the only difference is that this kind of dead are underground, not walking and trying to eat us. There was a lot of food and water there, we weren't out in the open and we were safe for many days."

"Fair enough," I mumbled. "So what happened there? Why didn't you stay longer?"

"Walkers. They got inside of it, Beth escaped, told her I was going to meet her outside. I barely got out. When I did get out the house I saw a car just like that one with a white cross on the back window driving away, I tried to follow it for days until exhaustion got the best of me and I was found by your ex's group."

There was another pause then, we were just outside of Atlanta now. It had been a very long time since I last came here. After our camp was overrun, Amy and many others were killed, Rick and the others led us here, to Atlanta, to some people they met when they went to rescue Merle, I never knew them but Daryl did, turns out they weren't alive anymore, it looked like they had been killed by another group to steal their things. That was right after we went to the CDC and barely got out of there, then we ended up in Hershel's farm and then I was separated from them but never got even close to Atlanta, big cities are the most dangerous now. We got close to Florida and at some point to Alabama since we never settled in one place and just kept moving and moving.

"So, you are saying they kidnapped her? What would they do that?"

"No idea," Daryl muttered, I could barely understand him now, he was speaking so low and not clearly.

"You shouldn't be so hard on him." I heard my mum saying to me as she finally looked at me. "She had a crush on him for months, maybe even longer. I heard her say it to Amanda."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because she was your friend and I never thought she would act on her feelings, besides, we all lived together. I didn't want to cause a drama. Can you imagine living with her, being paranoid all the time, thinking the worst just because she walked past Daryl? No, I kept my mouth shut but I kept an eye on her."

"Now I'm very relieved, thanks," I said sarcastically.

"Believe me, that was the best option," she told me, looking at me for a second.

"Well, I'm sorry but I can't believe or trust you anymore. And from what I remember, your choices are usually the bad ones so..."

"Cecilia, just please stop it!" Daryl exclaimed. "This is not the time or place to discuss that. Now if you don't mind, I need to focus, so shut up."

I stared shocked at Daryl. He had never been so harsh on me and if he had, he apologizes seconds after but not this time. I knew I deserved that. I was just upset and I tend to get frustrating when I'm upset but that didn't make me feel better. The way he talked to me, so coldly, hurt me. And even if I wanted to keep arguing with both, I kept my mouth shut, not because Daryl told me to but because I knew it was the best for now.

I stayed silent in the back seat with my arms crossed over my chest and then I heard it. Daryl sighing. He did feel guilty but he wasn't going to apologize now or he would have done it already.

"Rick's gonna wonder where we went," Daryl commented after a while, breaking the silence.

"At least Tara will tell him we were okay when she left us and that we were all together," I said, this time being the first I talk normally. Then I sat up straight and looked ahead of me and at the wheel. "Is the tank's runnin low?"  
"We can end this quick," my mum said immediately. "Just run him off the road."  
"Nah, we're good for a bit," Daryl commented.  
"If they're holding her somewhere, we can get it out of the driver."  
"Yeah, but if he don't talk, we're back to square one. Right now we got the advantage," Daryl said, not taking his eyes off the road at all. "We'll see who they are. If they're a group, see what they can do and then we'll do what we gotta do to get her back."

I bit my lip and let myself fall back into the seat again. I knew we were here because of Beth but I felt so uncomfortable whenever any of them mentioned her. If she hadn't been one of my closest friends I wouldn't be so angry. She knew how much I loved him, she knew we were engaged and she still tried to get into Daryl's pants. Even if she had just lost her father in such a brutal way, that's not an excuse to behave like a slut.

I tried to not listen anymore and instead looked out the window. Looked at the buildings outside. It had been forever since I had been in a big city like this and it almost felt weird to not be surrounded by trees.

The first time I came to Atlanta, I was around five. We were visiting some relatives. I had been living in this little town and I was amazed by the tall buildings and all the lights at night. It was around the time when my dad was actually behaving like a human being and not a monster so we had a good time. Sophia wasn't born yet so it was just us three.

My memories were interrupted when Daryl stopped the car. I turned to look in front of me and noticed the car we were following had stopped too.

"What the hell's he waiting for?" Daryl asked.

Then the driver just turned off the engine of the car, which was very weird. Daryl did the same, the sound of this car could give us away but it would take longer to escape if we needed to.  
I quickly grabbed my small gun when I saw one the doors of the car being opened. Maybe they had indeed seen us.  
"There's two of 'em," Daryl commented, the man who stepped out was on the passenger's seat. "Is that a cop?"

"Do you think they saw us?" I murmured, earning the attention of my fiance and mother for a couple of seconds, but none of them replied, instead they turned their faces again to look at the man.

We were so concentrated on the man and the car in front of us, we all jumped when a walker got too close and slammed its hands on the window where my mum was. I took a deep breath when I saw it was just a walker and not a person.

"Aw, shit!" I said under my breath.

We all recovered quickly from the scare and we turned our attention to the guy some feet ahead of us. The walker was banging against our car and I froze when the man turned to look at the walker, at our car... at us. He stood right outside their car just staring at us. None of us dared to even blink for some seconds, until the man opened the door and got inside the car.

The other man started the engine and they started to drive away, Daryl tried to do the same but the car wouldn't start.

"Oh, shit! Tank's tapped!" Daryl said frustrated. "They'd have taken the bypass and they didn't. They must be holed up in the city somewhere."

Neither my mum nor I said a word to Daryl, we just stayed silent and as we did we could hear even more walkers close to us. This one banging our car made enough noise to attract its buddies.  
"We gotta move, find someplace to hole up till sunlight," Daryl said in a quite tone.

"I know a place just a couple of blocks from here," my mum said quickly. "We can make it."  
My mum quickly lowered the window and killed the annoying walker with her small knife. As soon as she did, Daryl and I, followed by my mum, got out of the car. A walker headed to me, I got my knife out but before I could kill it, the walker was on the ground dead... dead for real. Daryl had killed it.

We killed two more walkers before mum started running and we followed her. I was on the very back. A block away from where we left the car, we found a group of walkers. Each one of us had at least two walkers to deal with and more were coming.

I was tempted to get out my gun and shoot them all, it would take approximately twenty seconds but I couldn't risk it. Those men could be really close and could hear and I'm sure Daryl would lecture me all night about it, unless shooting was absolutely necessary, none of us would do it.

Finally we killed them all and we continued our way, this time Daryl didn't let me be in the back. He wanted me in his sight. On our way we encountered a few more but only one or two at a time, nothing we couldn't handle or that stopped us, we just kept running while killing them.

My mum turned right a couple of times, then just continued to run two blocks, then she turned left, ran a bit and then stopped in front of a big building made of bricks, I stood there, just looking at it while my mum and Daryl rushed to the entrance and on their way killed five walkers.

"Cecilia, come on!" Daryl shouted at me, I hadn't moved in probably a whole minute. I shook my head and ran to them.

Daryl was trying to open the door while my mum looked to the street, in case more walkers or even people headed our way, while I stood there in disbelief.

I could faintly here more walkers coming our way, but they were far, I knew that even when I wasn't fully paying attention or concentrating on the sound.

"You got to be kidding me!" I exclaimed as I looked at mother for a second and then at the building again. Daryl stopped what he was doing for a second to look at me but he quickly remembered we needed to get inside, walkers were coming. I just shook my head in disbelief, I knew though, thatI had to get inside, there was no other way. My mum just gave me a look, but I wasn't sure what to make of it.

Not being able to stand the tension, my mother looked away and hurried to the walkers to kill them when I heard a loud noise on my left side, Daryl had managed to open the door.

So guys, I don't know if I told you this last time but after everything I did, I'm back to my home country and it wasn't fair but I'm back and been kind of down. I've been trying to write and to edit a video (on TWD, by thw way) but no luck, haven't progressed at all.

Anyway, hope you like the chapter :)


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